This was requested by…someone. I honestly don't remember at this point. Takes place after another fic I wrote where Callen walks in on Deeks "dancing" for Kensi at the S&D.

"Hey, that's the third time Deeks brought you lunch this week," Sam said looking across the bullpen as Callen pulled out a thick, paper wrapped package.

"Is it?" Callen's voice was light and unconcerned, which instantly put Sam on red alert.

"It is."

"Huh," Callen responded, taking a giant bite of his sandwich. "I guess he's just feeling charitable." Sam rolled his eyes, eyeing the sandwich a little jealously. Deeks had scurried off to join Kensi in the gym immediately after delivering the artery clogging monstrosity Callen was currently eating.

"The restaurant that's from is over 40 minutes away. Nobody's that charitable on a work day and especially not three times in the same week," Sam pointed out, glaring at Callen who seemed completely unbothered by his observation.

"Your point being?"

"Something else is going on."

"If you say so, Sam," Callen said with a chuckle. Narrowing his eyes, Sam added,

"There's also the fact that Kensi and Deeks have been filing half your reports for you. They try to be discreet, but they're both terrible liars. Plus, you keep leaving early."

Callen shifted just a little uncomfortably at that, but didn't seem too put off his sandwich.

"They owed me a favor," he told him vaguely.

"Ah-ha, blackmail," Sam said, getting up and coming over to loom over Callen's desk. "What do you have on them?" Callen rolled his eyes.

"If I tell you, then they'll have no reason to keep doing stuff for me. That's the whole point of blackmail." Sam chuckled again and said,

"Ok, you want to talk about blackmail? How does me telling Hetty about your little set up sound?" He gestured to Callen's suspiciously empty in-box and then the general direction Deeks had headed. "I'm sure she'd love to hear you're not only blackmailing your junior agents, but also violating NCIS policy. You might even face jail time."

"Sam, you are not telling Hetty about this," Callen said unconvincingly.

"You're right," Sam agreed. "As long as you tell me what Kensi and Deeks are so eager to hide that they're willing to buy you lunch and do your work." Callen sighed and rolled his head and then leaned forward in his chair.

"Fine. But you cannot tell them that I told you, ok? They would kill me." Sam nodded, gesturing for Callen to get on with it.

"A couple weeks ago, after Kensi and Deeks had that karaoke night-" Sam shuddered and groaned.

"Please, don't remind me."

"Do you want me tell you or not?" Callen asked in exasperation, shaking his head. "Anyway, I went up to my apartment a little early and I guess they forgot by the time everybody left. About a half hour later I heard all this noise and when I went down," Callen paused, shuddering himself this time. "Deeks was dancing."

"How is Deeks dancing a big deal?" Sam asked, sounding irritated at the apparent lack of a juicy secret. "I'll admit, his footwork leaves something to be desired, but it's hardly something worthy of blackmail."

"I mean he was dancing." Callen raised his eyebrows suggestively. "For Kensi. With his shirt off. To "Hips Don't Lie"." Sam's mouth dropped open for a moment and then he burst out laughing.

"You're kidding me! Deeks was stripping?"

"Oh, he was very adamant that he was not stripping," Callen said, now smiling himself. Now that it was out, he couldn't contain his amusement at Deeks' expense. It had been killing him to keep it to himself.

"What was their excuse?" Sam asked.

"They didn't have any. Deeks just kept insisting that he wasn't pole dancing and then they promised to do whatever I wanted."

"Callen, what the hell?!" Kensi hissed loudly. Both men turned to find her and Deeks in the entrance to the bullpen looking outraged and horrified. "You promised you wouldn't tell anyone!"

"And that sandwich cost $18," Deeks added, earning a "What the hell is wrong with you?" look from Kensi before she began to advance on Callen. He had the good sense to look a little worried.

"Sam forced me," he said and hastily added as Deeks joined Kensi, adding his own, not inconsiderable glare to the mix, "He threatened to tell Hetty about you guys doing my paperwork."

"Well, maybe you shouldn't have gotten greedy and made us do your work."

"And maybe you shouldn't have been stripping at your place of business."

"For the last time, I wasn't stripping," Deeks insisted hotly, his cheeks flushed and a dangerous look in his eye. Callen was vaguely impressed.

"The question is, what's to keep me from telling Hetty–"

"Tell me what?" Hetty interrupted, her voice coming from directly behind Sam. He froze and then turned with his most winning smile.

"Hetty, I didn't hear you come in."

"I realize that," she said, folding her hands together as she stared him down. Everyone else's eyes were on Sam as well. Of everyone, Deeks looked the most horrified. "Now what is it you wanted to tell me about?"

"Nothing," Kensi spoke up, placing a hand on Deeks' back. "We were just joking around."

"Is that true, Mr. Hanna?" she asked and Sam nodded weakly.

"Yeah." Hetty scrutinized him for a moment longer and then said,

"Hm. Well, I'd like to see a little more work and less joking." Deeks let out an audible sigh as Hetty left the area and Kensi grasped his upper arm in support. Callen resumed eating his sandwich. "Oh, and Mr. Callen," Hetty added, reappearing in the doorway. "I'd like to talk to you about some of your paperwork."

"Crap!" Callen hissed.

"If we go down for this, I want it on record that I was not stripping," Deeks said, sounding close to freaking out.

"Deeks, it won't come to that," Kensi said reassuringly, putting a hand on his arm.

"This is all your fault." He jabbed a finger in Callen's direction, muttering under his breath about pole dancing.

"Oh, and you owe us $120 for all the food we bought you," Kensi added as she guided Deeks from the room. Sighing, Callen picked up his sandwich with slightly less enthusiasm than before.

"How can you still eat?" Sam asked.

"I might as well enjoy my last meal," Callen said. "Too bad they forgot the pickles."