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As usual, the meeting with the quarian admirals was nothing but a headache, all of them shouting over each other, none of them interested in the least in what the others had to say.
The presence of Legion only added to the din. He was everything they feared about the geth, and everything they refused to understand—or didn't want to understand—about the possibilities the geth contained.
There was some satisfaction in punching Admiral Gerrel and throwing him off the ship. It was quite likely a huge mistake, Shepard completely understood that—but it had felt so good at the time, it was hard to regret it. There was even more satisfaction in firmly insisting to Admiral Xen that she was not going to be allowed to use Legion in experiments.
Tali had to meet with Xen and Raan once their meeting with Shepard was over. Shepard had hoped to get a decent night's sleep, but she was too keyed up for that, so she headed to the cockpit to hang on the back of Joker's chair. She knew he didn't entirely like when she did that … but he tolerated it from her.
"Shepard." He looked up at her reflection in the screen above his head. "Admirals driving you nuts?"
"It's what they exist for, as far as I can tell."
"Nice to have Tali back on board, even if it's just for a bit. Adams is good, but I never feel like the engine's running right without Tali around. Sort of a good luck charm." He patted the arm of his chair. "She's purring like a kitten right now."
From her copilot's seat, EDI said suddenly, "Oh! I understand. Yes, the engine can sound something like that rumble." She experimented a bit until she could produce a purring noise.
"If you two are going to start that, I'm out of here," Shepard said.
"We can wait until later, Shepard," EDI conceded.
"Great. Thanks."
"I am receiving a transmission. I will put it through. Yes, Legion? Welcome aboard."
"Thank you," Legion's voice said gravely through the speakers. "I have noted your new platform. It appears quite inefficient—it has low-volume hydraulics and is top-heavy."
"Yeah, it is," Joker crowed.
Legion and EDI both ignored him. "This is an infiltration unit," EDI informed her fellow synthetic. "Meant to move among organics without detection."
"Without an artificial epidermis, its infiltration capabilities are ineffective."
"He makes a good point, EDI," Shepard said.
"Still, you do not seem to perceive it as a threat, Shepard. Nor will you until my day of reckoning."
Joker chuckled, and Shepard sighed.
"Did I vocalize that on the bridge?" EDI asked.
"You did," Legion informed her through the comm. "You seem to have acquired the organic attribute of asking questions to which you already know the answer."
"And you still have not upgraded your humor heuristics," she told him.
"Shepard-Commander. I am ready for our next mission when you are."
"Thanks, Legion. We'll be arriving in the vicinity of Rannoch soon. I'll let you know."
"Yes, Shepard-Commander." It signed off.
"You okay, Commander?" Joker asked.
"Just tired, Joker. Just … tired."
"Can't blame you for that. Most people in your shoes would have collapsed into a twitching heap by now."
"You let me know when there's time for that, and I'll be happy to do it."
EDI spoke up again. "Shepard. I have Spectre Alenko on the line. We have been working on finding his former recruits."
"Oh, good. I know he's been worried about them."
"He would also like me to tell you that you should be sleeping, not distracting the pilot."
"He makes a decent point," Joker agreed.
"Oh, come on. You could fly with a lot more distraction than I am. You do fly with a lot more distraction than I am," Shepard added, tipping her chin in EDI's direction.
"I meant the part where you should be sleeping."
"When did everyone on this ship turn into my mother?" Shepard demanded tartly. She didn't wait for an answer. She knew she had pushed herself too hard and too fast since Thane died—really, since the Reapers had attacked—and that even she couldn't continue at this pace without paying the price eventually. And she felt guilty about how snappish she had been with her crew, who were nearly as tired as she was. It wasn't their fault that she felt responsible for the arrival of the Reapers, for their attack on Earth specifically and the rest of the galaxy in general.
Kaidan was waiting for her by the elevator.
"Come to drag me off by my hair?" she asked him.
He looked wounded. "I'm just worried about you."
"I know you are. I'm sorry. I'm not used to … being taken care of."
The elevator doors closed behind them and Kaidan took her face in his hands. "That's one thing I intend to remedy."
It was on the tip of Shepard's tongue to tell him that she didn't need anyone to take care of her. Thane never had. He had been there when she needed him, when she asked for him, but had never intruded himself on her when she didn't ask.
But then … maybe part of loving someone was knowing what they needed even though they didn't ask for it. Maybe even when they couldn't ask for it. Juniper was willing to accept that, to give Kaidan's gentle concern a chance. She put her hands over his wrists, her thumbs stroking the backs of his hands. "Thank you. This may take some getting used to, but … I can try."
"Maybe you'll like it."
"I might at that." She tilted her face up for his kiss, sweet and soft.
In her quarters, Kaidan busied himself straightening out the tangled covers while Shepard showered. He was waiting with a beer for her when she got out, and then he gave her a massage. If this was being taken care of, she could come to like it, she thought, her mind relaxing as her muscles did. With the thought, she slid into sleep.