Thank you for reading!
Of all the things J.R. Shepard had imagined she might do in her life, entering the geth collective as a virtual entity wouldn't have made the top ten. She wasn't sure she could ever have imagined it was possible. She still wasn't certain it was possible, and she had done it.
It felt a bit weird to walk in her actual body again, and the looks Kaidan was giving her weren't helping. Legion and EDI were ahead of them, neither of them seeming to feel the situation was at all odd. She should be thinking that way, too, Shepard imagined … but she wasn't quite there yet.
Her comm link buzzed. "Joker, what's up?"
"Virtual reality in the geth consensus? Really?"
Shepard sighed. "Yes. It was strange, but I got out all right."
"Did you? I mean … how would you know?"
"How would I know what?"
"If you really got out. See, if the geth experience everything virtually, then you could only think you're in the real world."
Shepard couldn't suppress a shudder of fear and revulsion. It was too close to her worries about whether Cerberus had done something to alter her personality, her self, when they rebuilt her. Thane had been with her at the time, to talk her through, but … She glanced at Kaidan, wondering if he was having those same thoughts. No, she knew he had. He had been the first to express a suspicion that she had come back … not quite herself. Hopefully he was past that now, but—was he? Was he really?
"You are not funny," she told Joker, her voice sharper than she had intended.
But apparently it got the message across, because his response was in a different tone. "Sorry, Commander."
"It's okay."
"Javik wants to know if 'they have infected you'." Joker parodied the Prothean's accent creditably.
"Tell him he's not allowed to throw me out an airlock."
"I'll tell him, Commander, but I think if you don't find him someone to throw out an airlock he's going to consider our whole cycle hopelessly weak and useless."
"I'll take that under advisement."
Joker clicked off the call, and Shepard smiled, shaking her head. Joker could be irritating as hell, but she didn't know what she would do without him.
"What the hell just happened, Shepard?" Kaidan asked her.
"My pilot was insubordinate," she said lightly.
"Not that. Before. Actually … don't tell me."
"Don't you want to know what it was like? I mean, I was plugged into the virtual world of the geth consensus. Saw their history, purged a Reaper infection …" Her eyes rested thoughtfully on the two synthetics in front of her. She saw them as people; as friends. But the rest of the galaxy saw them as things. Objects without life or personality. "I don't think I'll ever be able to look at the universe in quite the same way again."
He smiled. "Sounds like that's going to be the best chapter in your autobiography."
"Maybe. I kind of like the last chapter, the one after the Reapers are defeated."
"Oh, yeah? What happens in that one?"
"Nothing. Not a damned thing."
Kaidan reached for her hand. "That's my favorite chapter, too."
Back on the Normandy, Shepard found Vega in the galley, cooking up something that smelled absolutely divine. "What've you got there, James?"
"Oh, hey, Lola. Hope you don't mind. I was craving some of my abuela's huevos rancheros. I'm not sure what kind of eggs these are, but they seem to work."
"I only mind, Lieutenant, if you're not intending to share."
He grinned at her. "Plenty for both of us. Not sure they stretch too far past that, though." He lifted a forkful to his mouth, tasting carefully. "Mm! Not as good as my abuela's, but the best thing I've had since I got on board." Frowning thoughtfully, he added, "Maybe it's best I don't know what kind of eggs these are, no?"
Shepard accepted the plate he handed her, digging into the eggs. "These are damn good, James. Your abuela taught you well."
"She'd be happy to think so," he said softly, with more sincerity than his usual banter allowed for. He cleared his throat. "So … you went 'inside' a geth. Unbelievable. Loco. Completely loco."
She grinned. "Leadership means going where you're needed … even if that place doesn't really exist."
James shook his head. "Yeah, that's a little too deep for me. I suppose that's why you're the commander and I'm still a lowly grunt."
"If I recall correctly, you decided to join the N7 program—that hardly qualifies you as a lowly grunt."
"Point taken. Fine, then—next time you need to enter the geth consensus, I'll have your back."
"Thank you, James. I appreciate the thought." She handed him the plate. "And that you're going to do the dishes."
"Did I say—?" She gave him a look, and he sighed. "Absolutely, Commander."
"Thanks for the eggs. They were delicious."
"Anytime, Lola."
Once she'd checked in with everyone, made sure the plans were set for the mission to Rannoch the next day, Shepard headed up to her quarters. She found Kaidan already there, with the bed turned down and soft music playing and her beer opened and ready for her.
"You spoil me."
"Someone needs to." He clinked bottles with her.
"No one ever has before. It might take some getting used to."
Kaidan slid an arm around her waist. "Well, you'll have to get used to it, because I'm not going anywhere."
Shepard smiled at him. "Good."
They settled side by side on the couch, sipping their beers and gazing up at the stars through the skylight. "Hey, did I tell you EDI and I have tracked down some of the people I was looking for?"
"The recruits you taught? No, you didn't tell me. That's great news," she said.
"Yeah. J Squad. Black Ops. They're holed up making a stand in the Midwest. Near Chicago, I think he said."
Shepard was embarrassed to think she didn't really know where Chicago was. North American continent, if she remembered correctly, but beyond that her grasp on the details of Earth geography was shaky.
Fortunately Kaidan wasn't waiting for her response. "I connected them with Anderson so they can help the resistance."
"Good. I'm glad you found them."
"Me, too. It's a relief. And now I have hope the others will turn up, too." They sat in silence for a few minutes, and then Kaidan spoke again. "Shepard?"
She roused herself with difficulty. Sitting here with her head on his shoulder, she was so comfortable she was nearly asleep. "Hm?"
"About today. I was scared for you."
"I know it."
"But … I want you to know that I trusted you, too. With Legion, and … everything."
She raised her head off his shoulder to look at him. "Thank you, Kaidan. That means a lot."
He cupped her cheek in his hand. "I never want to lose you again. Those months when everything was so cold between us—that was on me, completely. It won't happen again."
"To be fair, it was an emotional time."
"It was … but I overreacted." He put his fingers over her lips when she would have protested again. "I did. And I want you to know that I'm not going to do that again."
"Thank you."
She drew his head down to hers, kissing him. Eventually they moved the few feet to the bed, exploring each other until sleep claimed them.
