Illusion is Reality

Chapter 148

-Left once more-

I had something of a working plan here. An idea, as it were.

In Seb's set, I was going to be on good behavior. Keep the world changing events and use of my powers on the down low.

In my own set, I could let loose, somewhat. I was still trying to be… better? Eh...

And maybe… that would be a good baby step in the right direction. Between finding a balance between what my head knows I should be allowed to do, and what my impulses want to do. I really had terrible impulse control.

Of all things, I went to go see dad.

The AXOLOTL stared. -It has been a while since you've come to see me- he sounded… relieved? I shrugged. "I've been busy."

-I noticed- he made a strange expression. -You have produced more children-

"Yup! As soon as I figure out how to bring them over here without having to tear their souls from their bodies, I can introduce you to them!"

He was quiet for a while. -I would like that- He leaned his head down to press against me. -I will admit I am a little worried-

"About what? The fact that my kids are mortal?" I rolled my eye. "I know. And I know it's gonna be… an issue. But I want to be positive here. Maybe some of them would want to be immortal. Or at the very least… unaging?" I paused. "...ok fine, I don't really know if any of them would care to. But it's… fine."

The look dad was giving me made it clear he didn't think it was fine. -Can your metaphysical heart handle it?-

"I've got my own afterlife now, so they'll probably go there. And then I can figure it out from there." I was trying to be optimistic, ok? Yeesh, they were still babies anyway. Why were people so worried? I'll get to it when I get to it. I was ready for it, sort of. I was… well, my human family were gonna be aging and passing away too. Ugh. I didn't want to think about it too hard. I knew that avoiding the issue wasn't going to help anything. And Blue's idea was nice but I just didn't think it would work out if people didn't want to be part of that. It's why I was messing with creating an afterlife to begin with.

"Oh. I should see how MoZha is doing." I gave Ax a hug around his hand. "Do you wanna come and see my afterlife?"

For a moment, I was sure he would politely decline. But to my surprise, he actually looked thoughtful. -Perhaps I should. See how a dimension made and run entirely by you would function-

"Please don't critique my work, I would literally die." I deadpanned. I wanted to show it to him, but I didn't want him to judge it uwu...

Ax gave me an odd look. -I… don't quite understand what you mean?-

He lowered his head and formed an Avatar. A tiny little axolotl, much like the one I had in the fishtank back on the Death Star. -I merely wish to see how you have improved in your world creation-

"...you're really sounding like an art teaching looking at my end of the year work now." I groaned, my bricks flickering to a bright orange. But I picked up his Avatar, which was giving me a brain dead look. I stared at it. Those eyes. That expression. This thing had the jeopardy theme going through it's head 24/7. "Do you have to make 'em so…" I struggled for the polite way to put it, "...derp?"

Ax stared at me unblinkingly. -...I am unsure what you mean-

"..." I stared back. "...nevermind. It's… it's fine…" I gently squeezed the amphibian. It let out a squeaky toy sound. I was trying very hard not to laugh. I like to think I succeeded.

-...Bill, one of your bricks just… exploded...-

Yup! Definitely managed not to laugh!

"MoZha!" I squealed, plopping against her in a hug. She smiled and patted my side. "Hello little spirit. How have you been?" She had built a little house for herself here. Some of the other humans here had actually opted for reincarnation, getting bored of this peaceful world where you didn't need to eat or work if you didn't want to. MoZha seemed to be thriving here, exploring and spending her time building things. Looks like she was finding ways to occupy herself. "I've been doing ok." I paused. Oh right. I hadn't told her yet. "I had kids."

MoZha gasped. "That's wonderful little spirit!" She glanced down and saw Ax's avatar in my hand. "...I will not assume. But…"

"Oh no. This is my dad."

Her blank faced stare was incredible. I tossed mini-Ax into a nearby pond. "Adopted. Also, that's not my real dad. That's… like… a smaller version of him that he created so I can bring him around with me to here?"

"...the ways of the spirits are mysterious indeed…"

"Anyway!" I quickly changed the subject. "So how've you been doing? You're not lonely, are you?" I worried about that.

She shook her head. "It is very quiet here. But I am not lonely. The Care Units are very kind." She waved at one of the Care Units walking by with an armful of firewood. To my surprise, the Care Unit waved back. "Hm. Well I'm glad you're doing ok. If you need anything, be sure to tell them."

MoZha seemed quiet for a moment. "...I suppose… if it's not too much trouble, I would like to see how my children and their children are doing?"

I looked away. "Erm… it's been multiple generations since you passed away."

MoZha blinked. "Has it? The years have flown by at a frightful speed."

"Don't I know." I muttered. "Um… being undying kinda… makes time seem meaningless sometimes." I sighed, floating over to sit on a woven stool she'd made. There were several of them here, so she sat on another one.

"I suppose there are no real ways to mark the passing days here." MoZha looked around. "Still, I can't complain. I have no duties to see to, my time is my own. And if I have nothing to do, I find something new." She paused. "But I suppose it is too quiet at times."

"Do you want me to bring more people?"

"...If they want to come." MoZha looked up to the sky. "A life after death, I'm sure many will want to try it out, at least for a while." She glanced back at me. "Will I go back as a ghost?"

I nodded. "I can only be in the Mindscape on Earth. Unless I'm inhabiting a vessel or a body, like with you."

"Can I also do that?" She wondered. I chuckled. "Yeah. Possessing people is harder, you could probably handle objects and animals."

"Would I be able to see my family?" MoZha wondered. I nodded. "I can find your descendants." She smiled at that.

I fidgeted. "...does it bother you?" I worried. "That the people you knew are all… gone?"

MoZha shrugged. "I've lived a long time. And then I died. And then I was here for more time. It was a possibility. It's… lonely to think about. But it doesn't bother me."

I narrowed my eye suspiciously. "Really?" I could hear a lie there, but not...

"It was somewhat bothersome at first." She finally confessed. "It hurt, sometimes. To think about all the people I would never see again."

"Should I have brought them all here too?" I worried, twiddling my fingers together.

She turned and smiled at me. "No. It's alright." She bent down to pick up a half-finished weaving of some sort. Oh, I think she was making a hat. "I've had a lot of time to think over these years. I've spoken with the other people before they left." She smiled. "And I've found that I can't dwell on missing people forever."

"...but isn't it sad that you can't see them anymore?" I wiggled in place. She picked me up and put me on her lap, "Yes. But I can't be sad forever. It would get too tiring." She said matter of factly. I twitched. "People come and go. And as long as I still have my memories, I'll be alright."

"...what if that's not enough?" I asked, she was continuing her weaving, I was small enough that I didn't really impede her movements. "What if I still want to see them again?" I curled my hand around her dress. "And what if I can't? What if they're gone and there's no way to ever see them again?"

"Oh little spirit," MoZha pet my side.

"People always say that I'll get over it, or it'll stop feeling so bad… or that I'll stop missing them…" I wiggled. "But I still want Will back. Is there something wrong with me?"

MoZha didn't answer me with words, but she did continue petting my side.

"I shouldn't even be missing him! He's reincarnated, and he's with me again. I mean, he's not Will anymore, but he's still my little brother, and I still love him, and this should be enough for me, right?"

"There is no set amount for 'enough'. What you feel is how you feel." She finally told me.

"And how do I stop?"

"You don't. You can't. You simply go on." MoZha leaned down. "Little spirit, would you take me back to the living world? I know my children would be long dead, as are my grandchildren, but there are things that I can't tell you, I can only show you."

I stared up at her. Then over at Ax's avatar. It was staring unblinkingly at nothing in particular. "...ok. I can show you how to possess objects, they're easier than animals…" I held her hand in mine and prepared to Blink us both away. Dad just wanted to see the dimension I made, so he can stay there. I made to leave but it leaped out of the water and stuck to my side. "Oh? You wanna come with? You'd have to be in the Mindscape though, and uh… you're not…" I frowned. "Dad, this Avatar doesn't actually have a mind. You know that right?"

The axolotl continued staring blankly ahead before it peeled off my bricks and fell back into the water. I twitched. "Don't be a lazy ass dad! If you wanna come with us, you're gonna have to actually get your ass out here." No response. MoZha was giggling. "Anyway, lets go."

The Earth was beautiful. It'd been a while since I came back here. China was doing well, the villages had grown into towns, towns into cities, what was the date? I didn't really know. Who was in charge right now? They had writing. I racked my brain, trying to think of what I remembered from my human life about this subject, which wasn't much. I suppose it didn't really matter which dynasty China was in. Oh, they were still doing human sacrifices, that sucked. I'm probably gonna track down the emperor later and give him nightmares until he outlawed that practice. Yeesh. I know that people were dumb but the idea of burying servants and slaves alive along with a dead noble or royal was so stupid. People all over the world, not just China, not just Egypt, were under the impression that they could bring their servants and slaves into the afterlife with them, to serve them. It was so stupid, and a waste of a living person who could have done so much more with their life. I shook my head, don't get distracted. I can deal with that later. What was important was finding MoZha's descendants.

There was a bunch. "Ok… good news. I found 'em!" I smiled. "Bad news, they're kinda spread out." MoZha blinked. "Oh, that's wonderful. Are they doing well?"

"Yes actually." I pulled her gently through the air to go towards the closest gathering.

A large family. Both parents, the grandmother, two daughters and a son. MoZha gazed at them with a fond smile. "Is this them? Ah, I see it. She has my eyes. And he has my ears." She pointed, floating down as an invisible soul in the mindscape as the children went about their day.

"...I can't really tell." I said honestly. I guess I could see the details if I stared at them long enough. The shape of the ears, maybe? I could never understand how my human relatives had been able to just glance at me or my siblings and point out which of our body parts came from who.

MoZha was floating around, in and out of their house and rooms, checking the living spaces, the size of their land, how much food they had. She nodded. "They are doing well."

"Told ya." I smiled. "There are… five other family groups to check out." Seeing her happy made me feel better.

"Alright."

We went to see the rest of them. MoZha seemed satisfied to know they were all doing well. I floated up to sit on her shoulder. "...what was it that you wanted to show me?"

MoZha pointed. "The people I knew are dead and gone. But people continue to live on. And those who are gone, are they like me, living on, or have they passed onto reincarnation? Either way, they are gone. But these people are still here." MoZha watched her great-great-great-great grandson squeal as he chased some chickens around. "Other people are still here. Everyone's alive and living their lives and…" she held my hand. "Isn't that more important than being sad forever? Knowing that there are still people alive and well?"

"But I don't care about these guys… not as much as I care about Will." I whined.

"Well of course." MoZha patted my hand. "Your brother is definitely someone you care about more than strangers. That's not a problem." She tapped on me until I looked back up at her. "What do you think he would want from you?"

I stared. "What?"

Instead of answering, she placed me on her lap again, she was in a seated position while floating. "Do you want to talk about your brother?" She asked.

...did I? I guess… I haven't really talked much about Will to anyone before. I shuffled closer, wrapping my arms around her and burying my face in her dress.

"His name was… I named him Will."

"Oh? You got to name your little brother?"

"Our birthers never gave him a name, nor did they give me a name. So I decided on my own to give him one."

"So you chose your own name as well?" MoZha looked sad for some reason. Why do people always look so sad when they learn I wasn't given a name? "So… that salamander…"

"Oh no, Ax is my dad. He adopted me. He isn't the one who birthed me." I paused. I mean… if everything is created by the AXOLOTL, I suppose technically… eh… "Will was a sweet kid. He was always following me around and asking for more stories. I liked to read to him. And teach him math and stuff. He didn't have a full education like I did. We had a caste system, and I was ranked higher. But I still wanted to teach him, he wanted to learn. I was fine with that, just being able to spend time with him was all I needed in life."

MoZha gave me a long look. "Putting all your needs in life on one person is a lonely way to live. I think I see now, why you're still hurting."

"...because I'm obsessed?"

"...that is a very direct assessment."

I shrugged. "I know I'm messed up."

"I think you're very sad." MoZha corrected. "...you are an immortal spirit, are you not? You're…" She reached to poke my hat. "...find what you need, outside of a person or people. Find something for yourself."

"Yeah, I know that. But just 'cause I know it doesn't mean I can do it." I rolled my eye.

"It's a good thing for you to work on." Someone who wasn't MoZha responded. I blinked and turned. Amorphous Shape was floating there, transparent and glowing faintly. "Ammy?! What the heck are you doing here?!" How- why- "This is the mindscape!"

One of Ammy's eyes glanced down. Another eye looked to the side. And then all his eyes refocused on me. "So it is." He nodded. "Pyronica sent me. She's hungry and wants you to get home and make dinner." He paused for two seconds. "Also, Kryptos was attempting to cook earlier while working on his latest project."

"...Which one? The temporal destabilizer or the transmogrification ray?"

"...I am unsure. But the soup's escaped the kitchen and we don't know where it went."

"Goddammit."

MoZha looked back and forth between us. "Is this a friend of yours, little spirit?"

I slapped a hand to my top plane, "Oh! I should introduce you!" I Flickered to See how Ammy got here. Oh? A reverse summoning? I didn't think anyone would actually try that. (A reverse summoning was exactly as it sounded. Most people didn't do it because of how dangerous it was. Imagine reverse summoning a demon in Hell for example. You'd get trapped in Hell unless you set up the circle to take you back.) Looked like whatever thing was keeping me from materializing in the 3rd dimension also kept Ammy from coming here in person, so he ended up in the Mindscape. "This is Amorphous Shape, my eldest son." I waved my hand again. "Ammy, this is MoZha. My friend." My Line. One of them. I got the idea from Blue. He got to have Lines as part of his Zodiac, which, as the way I interpreted it, meant he got more people who could be his friends! Well, not friends. Blue didn't really have the same definition of friend as I did. So if I claimed people as my Lines, I could have more friends! (That was how it worked in my head.)

Also, if I claimed someone as my Zodiac, they were guaranteed to reincarnate! And even if MoZha wouldn't be herself anymore at that point, it was still something! Zach still had some Will-traits. And it wasn't the same, and I wasn't going to think of them as the same person, I'm not quite that delusional, it was still something for me to know that at least someone I loved and lost has a new chance at life, and I could ensure it would be a happy one.

"Hello." MoZha nodded at Ammy. "It's very nice to meet you."

Ammy looked MoZha up and down before turning to me. "A client?"

"A friend. Former host. Current tenant in the afterlife dimension I built."

"Neat." Ammy squinted his eyes into a smile. "Does she want to come over for dinner too?"

I blinked. I turned to MoZha. "Um… did you want to continue watching your descendants or…?"

MoZha was giggling behind her hand. "I can stay here and watch what I wish to see. You should heave home, little spirit. It sounds like they need you." She leaned in, "Also, I am glad you are not alone. I would like to come by for dinner with your family some time."

Why did that make me feel so happy? I wasn't quite sure, but I grinned at her. "Sure thing! And maybe I'll even save some of that soup for you."

I think MoZha should be alright here in the Mindscape on her own for a bit. I haven't really met anything that could really mess around in here besides me. And Earth was a protected area. Still, I put up a quick Curse to alert me if anything went awry.

"Ok so… you mentioned the soup escaped?" I took Ammy's hand and Blinked us both back to the Death Star. We emerged in the kitchen and I froze.

Drip. Drip.

My eye darted around the room. The grease trails. The sauce all over the ground and countertops. Kryptos and Hectorgon furiously cleaning. My eye twitched. Ammy bent over and gave me a wave. "Oh right. I forgot to mention that the pots all exploded and spilled food everywhere."

Kryptos's eye widened. "Ammy!" He hissed. "You were supposed to keep Bill distracted while we cleaned this before he came home!"

Ammy swung his arms back and forth. "Ah. I forgot." He said in the tone of a person who definitely didn't forget. Kryptos growled. "You're mad at me."

"No. Of course not." Ammy said tonelessly. "I am merely disgruntled that your need to work on your tech in the kitchen, resulted in my snack being destroyed." His eyes moved over to the dining table. I glanced over as well and blinked. "...were you… just drinking a bowl of milk?" I asked slowly.

"I have found that I quite enjoy it's taste. Though the kind I can get from the store pales in comparison to your own."

I turned bright orange, even as Hectorgon looked at me. "Your…?"

"Erm… humans are a mammalian species. Their young drink milk. So… ah… I made one of my vessels produce milk for my children." I explained. "And Ammy… seems to like it."

"Your milk is delicious. The truest of ambrosia." Ammy was so blunt about it, despite the subject matter. I sighed. "It's just milk."

Kryptos and Hectorgon stared. "Wait, humans can produce milk?"

I rolled my eye and shifted into Yun's form. "These things," I patted my breasts. "They fill up with milk and my children suck it out."

Kryptos made a choking sound. He was also flushing a deep near-black. Hectorgon coughed into his fist. "And… Ammy has…"

It took me a few seconds to understand why they looked so uncomfortable. "Ammy doesn't feed from me directly. I pump it out into bottles."

"Ohthankprotractor-" Kryptos blurted out.

"I am still curious about it." Ammy chose to inform us. I shifted back into my triangular self. "And unfortunately for you, we're not gonna try that. Sorry."

"It's not on my bucket list, so I do not truly mind."

I turned back to the mess. "Why." I demanded. Kryptos winced. "I thought I could handle it. I didn't want to stop in the middle of my work."

"You could have passed on your turn to cook to someone else." I twitched, flicking my fingers and cleaning the kitchen. There were still grease trails heading out down the hall. I sighed.

"..." Kryptos looked away.

"...you forgot you could do that." I deadpanned. Kryptos nearly darkened to black. "No! ….yes…"

"Regardless. Dinner escaped." Hectorgon said solemnly. "And I am still hungry."

"Order take out." I deadpanned. "I have some soup to hunt down." I pulled on an apron and some gloves. Then, after a moment, I pulled on a goggle as well, securing it over my eye.

"...is all that really necessary?" Hectorgon watched me float out of the kitchen with a super sponge (now a hundred times more absorbent!)

I hovered in place, turning slightly to glance at him out the corner of my eye. "Don't underestimate the grease spreading powers of soup."

"It was spricken soup." Ammy told me helpfully. I nodded. A type of bird, very oily. That explained a lot. "Barricade the door. And text the others. Tell them to stay in their rooms and not to open up until I give the all clear."

"...I still think you're taking this way too seriously." Hectorgon sighed. Ammy was diligently texting everyone. "Most of them aren't home right now. Which means they'll be safe for the time being." ("Is soup really so dangerous?")

I paused while wiping the grease in the hallway. "Wait, where's Ronica?" Wasn't she the one to send Ammy to get me?

"She went after the soup." Kryptos grimaced. I gasped. Oh no. "Ronicaaaaaaa!" I flew off down the hall, following the grease trail. "Ronica nooo! Don't be a hero!"

I flew through the hallways, through rooms, up and down the stairs, and slides, and the moving platforms- ok, maybe Keyhole's right and I shouldn't make the house a parkour platformer maze...

The grease trail came through here. I could see bits of chopped vegetables stuck to the floor and walls of this long corridor. There were sloshing sounds from a room at the end of it. The black stone walls and floor were lit only by the brick-lines that ran throughout the house, glowly a faint iridescence. I heard a muffled whimper. And some groaning.

"Pyronica! Nooooo!" I flew into the room and stopped short. Oh. It was worse than I thought.

"Uuuuhhhhhh…" Pyronica groaned, lying on the ground, covered- nay, SOAKED in soup. Every now and then she could groan a little louder and some soup dripped out of her mouth to pool on the ground.

"You… drank all of it…" I said faintly. I… I had to go sit down. On the ceiling, as it was the only place not splashed with grease.

"...only way…." Pyronica burped. "To- to kill it…"

"You could have waited for me." I buried my front plane in my hands.

Pyronica burped again and groaned. "I wanna vomit."

"Please don't." I rubbed around my eye. "Seriously. In the future, let me handle it. I can actually eat shit without… this happening." I gestured to her. I heard a shuffling sound and looked over to see Ammy pushing the super sponge into the room, the cleaning item slurping up the grease as he went. "Oh, thank you Ammy. But it was dangerous of you to come."

"I knew the risks and planned for them." Ammy flexed and more super sponges popped out from his other blocks. I stared. "...did you steal those?"

"I have left payment in their place." Ammy tossed one of the sponges onto Pyronica, she groaned. "Stealing is only for when one cannot afford to purchase an item they need for their continued health and survival. As we can afford to purchase, and we technically did not need them for survival's sake, it would be the utmost height of rudeness to steal them from the stores." He recited. I reached over to pat his head. "Good boy."

His blocks glowed in a way that I've learned was meant to convey 'pride' and 'content'. "Can you text everyone and tell them the danger has passed. And we sustained no casualties."

"Fuck you Bill."

"Okay, minimal casualties." I materialized my cane and poked at Pyronica. She groaned. I nudged my cane against her side and started pushing, rolling her out of the room. She burped again. "So, what did we learn today?"

"Uuuuhhhhh…."

"That's right. Never try to eat animated soup. For one thing, it's very unsanitary and it's a good thing I keep the Death Star mostly clean. There are only certain specific microbes I allow to grow here, and no dust or dirt accumulated within these walls."

"In my defense, I was hungry. Uuuh... I want to sleep off everything I just ate."

"Which is why I'm rolling you back to your room."

"Uuuuhhh…." She rolled floppily down the hall as I pushed her with my cane. We passed Keyhole hesitantly peeking out of his door. "Whoa. What happened?"

""Soup."" Me and Pyronica answered.

"She ate ALL of it?!" Keyhole gasped. "Our cooking pots are HUGE!"

"Yup." I rolled my eye. Pyronica weakly flipped me off as she was rolled around again. "I'm gonna be sick…"

"...Bill… can't you just… teleport the soup out of her stomach? Some of it at least?" Keyhole asked slowly. Pyronica and I stared at him. "Shit Bill. I think you're right. Keyhole needs to be your new advisor or some shit."

"Hang on…" I waved my hand to teleport some soup out, it hovered in a ball above my hand. I shuddered. "Ok, so… he's correct. And this is a good idea. But what do I do with this now?"

"Eat it?" Ammy suggested. I let out a brief dry heave. "That's disgusting, no. It's been inside her."

"Nice to know how you feel about me." Pyronica drawled, pushing herself to her feet. I was staring at Keyhole. He twitched, being put on the spot like this. "Uhhh… is throwing it out not an option?"

"That's a waste of food." I told him. Keyhole sighed. "Well what do you wanna do with it, if you don't want to throw it out, and you're too disturbed by the fact that it came from inside Pyronica to eat it?"

I stared at the orb of liquid with solids mixed in. "Um… I guess I could use it as fertilizer…"

"Or a biological weapon for the destruction of your enemies." Ammy deadpanned. I brightened at that. Keyhole groaned. "Please don't."

"I think lobbing that at Time Baby's face would be funny." Pyronica put in her two cents on the matter. Keyhole turned to face the wall and made a distressed sound.

"Ok that's two votes for 'use as a weapon' and one vote for 'don't'." I grinned. Keyhole raised his hand. "We need to ask more people to weigh in on this subject!"

"I suppose that would be more fair…"

"Hey, that thing came outta me. I think I should have double votes." Pyronica cackled.

"Well, Kryptos technically created it, so I think that means he gets double votes too." Ammy pointed out.

"Oh this is gonna end horribly..." Keyhole sobbed quietly against the wall.

The votes were in.

Use soup ball as weapon: Pyronica x2, Ammy, Kryptos x2, Hectorgon

Don't do that: Keyhole, PaciFire, 8-Ball, Toobie, Xanthar, Teeth, Shlumdigadoogeribob ("Why does that thing get a vote?!")

"Well, with Shlumdigadoogeribob's vote, it looks like we're not gonna use the soup ball as a weapon." I announced. Kryptos had his arms folded in a huff. "I still don't get why that thing got a vote. It can't even talk!"

"You're just mad because even with double votes, you guys still lost." Keyhole said smugly.

"Hang on. Bill didn't vote yet." Hectorgon frowned. Everyone turned to me.

"Does it matter? Even if I voted, the best that would happen is a tie."

"So you DO want to throw that at someone!" Teeth laughed ("You don't get to laugh about this, you voted with us against that!" Keyhole shook Teeth). "Bill gets double votes 'cause he's the one who made it into a ball!" Pyronica threw her hands in the air and cackled.

"Alright." I stared at the ball of soup. "I suppose there's only one thing to do now…"

(3rd person POV)

Time Baby was pretty stressed. Even with Bill Cipher being oddly absent from causing any major world changing events, which was what he'd wanted for so long, nothing was turning out right. Several hundred societies that should have already advanced to the point of space travel were barely into the metal age. And other civilizations that should have been overthrown by another one remained standing as the other one never bothered to develop the weapon technology to do so. Technological development all throughout the multiverse hadn't advanced significantly in the past several thousand years.

And worse, his police force and correction staff didn't have to clean up after Cipher's messes so they just sat around and did nothing. And those who did try to keep up their duties would turn to bringing in people for petty crimes or any inane reason, just to have something to do. Time Baby hadn't even considered boredom to be something he would have to address with his staff.

The only things actually progressing were the Food and some of the Arts and Entertainment industries. And Time Baby never really involved himself in that, because they weren't important, in his mind, to the continued function of his empire.

Besides, what better entertainment was there than Globnar? That Anime thing wasn't that great. Time Baby couldn't see why it was so popular. Who needed artists making thousands of images and splicing them together to look like video? Time Baby didn't get why people liked it. And why enough people liked it that they were coming out with new series all the time with different stories and themes, while reality shows, which Time Baby preferred to watch (because what was funnier than real people and real suffering caught on film) were just recycling the same old plots over and over. Time Baby was a baby, and repetition thrilled his infant mind. But even he was starting to get bored. He didn't know who was heading that, but some of his staff claimed it was one of Jheselbraum's maidens? That didn't make much sense to him.

The music industry was thriving with that idol at the forefront. What was his name again? Yum-Yum? Well, from what one of his Paradox Retrieval staff (Bland-en?) screeched about to anyone unfortunate enough to hear, the idol was asking for songwriters to send him their music so he could perform a cover of it on stage to promote their work, even giving them some of the revenue from the concerts. (And subsequently inspiring thousands of people to get into learning music for this chance for fame and fortune.) And even pulling up and promoting other obscure artists that he liked to have them guest star at said concerts. Time Baby didn't really get it, but even he had to admit, as much as he would never say this aloud, that he enjoyed some of those songs.

And the Food industry was thriving. That dragon god's magic was ensuring there was always enough food to go around. And those new strange and exotic species being cultivated on their planets prompted people to figure out new ways to prepare them for consumption. Like that newest plant which the dragon had named 'Sesame' after three thousand years of cultivation.

And it's seeds were it's main product for food?

Most seeds used for cooking were larger. Like the revinari seeds, which were fleshy and the size of a Tzzilozo's torso. Or Mega Seeds which were outlawed in most quadrants for causing nerve damage. But this 'sesame seed' had an incredibly strong flavor and with it, came new dishes and recipes made from it.

Time Baby shook his head. Regardless of how much these areas were thriving, the fact remained that even though he'd had all the peace and quiet he wanted now that Cipher wasn't going on rampages all the time, nothing was going how he wanted it to.

(A part of him almost wanted to say that perhaps Cipher's rampages were actually necessary… but then he squashed that part of himself for it's stupid and ridiculous ideas.)

Time Baby let out a frustrated sound as he looked through the reports for the past few millennia. Stagnation. That was the best way to describe it. He waved the screen away. He would ponder over how to motivate innovation in his populace later. He had a meeting with one such innovator. A scientist from the Federation's research and development branch.

Nothing new had come out of them in ages. The most they did was upgrade their systems every few years. They kept getting hacked. Time Baby had inquired about better ships, to try and get past the odd blocks that were preventing more expansion and travel to undiscovered dimensions, but they weren't doing all that well. If Time Baby had to put it in words… no one was inspired to come up with anything new.

Time Baby was hoping that directly confronting, and ordering, his workers would get them to finally DO something.

The nervous scientist sat across the table from him. "HOW HAVE THE NEW WARP DRIVES BEEN COMING ALONG?"

They shrank back from Time Baby's question. "Er… well… sir… the thing is… we can't… figure out how to make them… work better? This is the highest level of efficiency we've been able to get. The inner mechanisms of the power core spins faster when we run more energy through and the metal wears down if we make it go any faster."

"WHAT ABOUT LUBRICANTS?"

"The high heat melted pretty much all the ones we've used. And specialty heat resistant synthetics are too expensive to be a viable solution. We have liquid helium as a cooling agent, since the engines can get up to 2000 degrees and the metal begins melting at 1300-"

Time Baby narrowed his eyes. That… was irksome. He opened his mouth to yell at this person for failing to do their job the way he wanted them to, but was interrupted by a, "Eat THIS!"

SPLASH!

Time Baby stared.

"OH SHIT! Abort! Abort! I fucking MISSED!"

"What?! How the fuck did you miss? He's right THERE!"

"I don't have fucking deph perception!"

"Shit Bill, the guards are coming."

"Retreat! Retreeeeaaaat!"

Time Baby stared as Cipher and his gang screamed and ran off, the pink one punching a hole in the wall and tearing it off to make a new door. His eye twitched. Really? All those years of being well behaved and then he goes and does this? Just to piss him off?

Time Baby's already bad mood got worse as his guards finally got there, only to slip on whatever liquid Bill had tried to throw at him and slide across the room to slam into the opposite wall in an undignified heap. Time Baby drew himself up, preparing to scream at them all for failing to do anything right-

"What is this?"

Time Baby paused and turned back to the scientist, who was kneeling beside the liquid on the ground. "It's slippery. Some sort of grease? This smell… spricken?" And then all four of their eyes widened in the way of a person realizing something. "Of course! We haven't even thought of using natural oils! There are fire-based species out there that produce skin oils that can withstand high temperatures-" They stood up and Time Baby saw an eager light in their eyes that he had not seen in any of his staff for years. "Sir! Requesting ships for visiting planets Py-0, Kepler-78b, Fuwafuwa, Moltenus-" They continued to list off, looking eager and lively and animated.

"We're sorry sir. They… they got away." One of his guards bowed his head. "I've sent units 2 and 6 to repair the damage. And we will be looking over the security cameras to see how they got in."

Time Baby watched his men pick themselves up, some of them groaning about being out of shape. But they were more alert than he'd seen them in years.

And Time Baby frowned before his expression became thoughtful.