Chapter 159

Being a hokage was a difficult job. Not because of something as routinely boring as paperwork, though that didn't help either. But the main challenged of being hokage was about the level of responsibility. Tsunade was a medical ninja, if there is one thing a medic always had to know how to do, is to handle pressure. After all, a medical ninja often held the life of his comrades in his hands, literally.

But if medic was often responsible for the life of a single person, his patient, the hokage was responsible for thousands of people. That was on a different level entirely. Somehow, Tsunade understood why Hiruzen took up smoking, it helped with the stress. Tsunade herself was more inclinded to use sake as a stress relief, though Shizune made it increasingly hard, going as far as using Tonton to sniff out her stashes of sake.

And right about now, Tsunade could go for a nice bottle of sake. This was the first thing on her mind when Kurenai came into her office. Though, Tsunade quickly banished the unnecessary thoughts and concentrated on the jounin before her, offering her a seat. Usually ninjas reported to the hokage standing, but Tsunade knew this would be more of a conversation, that an official report.

"I apologize for taking your time, Lady Tsunade." Kurenai gave a polite bow, before taking a seat.

"To be honest, it was either you, or reading the reports of our scouts from the borders. Twenty pages of 'nothing to report' basically." Tsunade smiled, trying to somewhat lighten the mood.

"Lady Tsunade, I …."

"About Hinata, right?" the female sannin leaned back in her armchair with a sigh, massaging her temples with the tips of her fingers. "Somehow I expected you to be happy over her promotion."

"I very proud of Hinata and her progress. She is without a very skilled kunoichi. But I am not sure she is fully ready to handle herself adequately as a chunin. It is not just about how skilled you are."

"Yuhi-san …." Tsunade slightly narrowed her eyes, with her fingers folded in front of her face, resulting in a somehat menacing look. "…. please, do not suggest, that I made promotion decisions solely on the level of martial skill showed by the genin. On that criteria, most of them would've been promoted."

"I …. I apologize, Lady Tsunade, I meant no disrespect."

"I know you didn't." Tsunade shook her head, with Kurenai releasing a breath. "I understand that you are concerned for your student and that is commendable. A good teacher should always have the best interests of the student in mind."

"Of course. That is why I am here. Hinata is capable, but being a chunin requires one to be decisive, even ruthless at times. And Hinata is a very gentle person."

"I know she is a king girl, but she is also a kunoichi of the village. I have reviewed her psychological profile along with her performance in the exams. I honestly so no reason to deny promotion, especially in light of the recommendation Toero gave her. She is the only ninja he recommended for promotion Kurenai. A proctor from our village recommended only one ninja from our village and that is your student."

"Toero-san is not originally from our village. I am not sure he fully accepts our values here in Kohoha. Not to say he is not a valuable ally, but personally I find his methods to be needlessly cruel."

"He bears the symbol of the village and did nothing to earn disrespect. You had no qualms about his brutal methods before your own student got directly involved, yet team seven worked with him for a long time, with very good results."

"Again, I meant no disrespect."

"I would disagree here, Kurenai." Tsunade frowned slightly. "This time you mean that. Still, I would prefer to settle this matter with you here today and not get back to it in the future. As I said, your concern for Hinata is a good thing, but I have not heard any argument against her promotion. The only thing I saw, is your desire to shelter the girl."

"That is not really the case."

"Really now, I think that is exactly the case. You are not her mother, Kurenai."

"I never claimed to be."

"Actions often speak louder than words." Tsunade closed her eyes for a moment, before looking back at the genjutsu mistress. "Did you discuss this with Hinata?"

"No, I thought …."

"I suggest you do exactly that. If she herself decides that she is not ready for the rank, I will cancel the promotion. Though, I highly doubt she will make such a decision."

"Thank you for your time, Lady Tsunade. Again, I apologize for taking your time." Kurenai left the office with very mixed feelings, her concern for Hinata not lessened in the slightest. But the idea of discussing this with the girl seemed like something she should've done from the start.

...

"Sensei." Hinata politely bowed when she saw Kurenai enter the training yard in the Hyuga estate. The woman saw a somewhat amusing scene with Hinata's younger sister trying to repeat some of the motions Hinata used in her personalized style, but the attempt resulted in the girl losing her balance and slumping down on her side with an annoyed look.

"Don't laught, I will get this right." Hanabi pulled herself to her feet. Hinata wasn't exactly laughing, but by the looks of it was struggling not to.

"Toero-san said that my approach needs a different mindset." Hinata explained, turning away from Kurenai for a second. "I think it will just come with practice."

"Fine, as you say. I suppose you have some team stuff to discuss." Hanabi pulled of a strand of loose hair from her face and then left the training area. Despite clear problems, she was actually doing well to imitate the motions Hinata used for her techniques. But as Hinata learned, teaching them to someone, was very different from using the style herself. After all, she made it to fit herself, so it came naturally for her, feeling like an extension of her very being and in a way of self-expression.

"I see you are spending more time with your sister."

"Yes, that is nice. She can be funny without trying."

"I see." Kurenai nodded. "And how are your eyes. Are you feeling well?"

"Yes. I went for a check up to Shizune-san and she says I fully recovered. Actually, even better than before."

"Hmm?" Kurenai raised her eyebrow, but then sighed wondering how to continue their conversation.

"You wanted to talk about something, sensei?"

"I suppose that is obvious." Kurenai smiled.

"It is about the exams, or rather the whole ordeal in the Hidden Sand."

"Well, sort of ….."

"I understand." Hinata sighed and took a seat on a bench nearby. "It is about me using the fox chakra."

"Hinata I …." Kurenai had an idea of also discussing that with her, but it wasn't exactly what was on her mind this time. Though apparently, her student though otherwise. Not that her guess didn't have any logical ground to it.

"I know. Perhaps it is a good thing you didn't see me back then." Hinata smiled, though her smile wasn't a happy one. "It was a very ….. strongfeeling. I felt power, so much of it, that I wasn't sure I could even contain it. And rage, I remember the rage, anger. For a moment I almost gave into that feeling, but even though I retained control, I was different. And yet, it was still me. Does it make sense, sensei?"

"I don't know. But keep talking, please."

"I remember Neji, Kiba and Akamaru. They helped me, but you know, it was unsettling how they were afraid of me. Akamaru shivered in my presence. Poor thing."

"Hinata …."

"I felt their fear. Tasted it, almost the same way I taste tea. And I savoured it. I think in some way I enjoyed it."

"Enjoyed it?" Kurenai sat down next to Hinata, unnerved what the girl was saying and also by just how peaceful and calm she seemed while talking about such things.

"In a way, yes. And the rage. I gave it direction. That rogue ninja, Kakuzu, I literally wanted to rip his to shreds. Not to beat him, defeat him. Now, I wanted to tear him apart and I felt I could."

"The fox chakra …."

"Oh yes, that chakra. It does bring out something in you. Something most don't really like to acknowledge. I remember when I got behind that ninja and struck. How my fingers basically sliced through his torso, how they wrapped around the still beating heart, ripping it out. It was beating so fast and I not only tasted his fear, I felt it, resonating with every heartbeat."

"Oh. That is …" Kurenai paled slightly, looking at her student.

"And then …. I crushed it. Just like that." Hinata reached out of her hand, repeating the motion. Kurenai saw red wisps of chakra glide across Hinata's hand and when the girl's fingers curved into a first, crushing the imaginary heart, it resulted in a faint pulse of air, blowing her hair back.

"And do you know what I felt back then, sensei?"

"I …. I have no idea. Anger, fear?"

"I was elated. I enjoyed that. Hmm, never thought I would."

"Hinata, that was the effect of fox chakra. Naruto explained that it is hard to keep in control."

"Of course, it is." Hinata smiled again. "How could it be otherwise. It shows that we all have a bloodthirsty beast inside of us. A creature that enjoys bloodshed, savours fear, bathes in rage. For such a being that is only natural. And in a way, it is a part of us. Foolish are those who deny it, savages are those who let it loose. I learned an important lesson during these exams. If you know who you are, if you have a sense of personal pride, you are capable of taming that creature and use it. I fought like a manifestation of rage, Kurenai-sensei, but I was in control. I commanded it and not the other way around. Freezing your own hatred, taming the beast within. You can world this in many different ways. Doesn't really matter, it is just something you suddenly begin to understand."

"So, you understand something now? Something new?"

"Yes, I guess." The young Hyuga nodded with a smile, finally opening her eyes. "The fox chakra doesn't really change what you are. It merely brings forth the part of us we keep buried. But it exists. It always did, it always will. If you deny it, you deny a part of yourself. And how can you control the part of you, that you deny? That is what I learned during these exams, sensei. The first step was only getting a bone stake rammed through my chest. Freeze the burning hell of your past and more forward. That is what Toero-san told me."

"And how do you understand those words, Hinata?"

"The past is in the past. Don't dwell on it. Learn from it, but don't let all that happened to you control you. We all go through hardships in some way or another. One must pull through and adapt, learn and get stronger, better. All the frustration, anger, rage that you may have inside can be a source of power, in a way a source of knowledge. And all of that is you. A part of you that you must accept and use. You must be whole to really go beyond your own limits. If you deny that, you limit yourself, if you submit to it, you loose yourself, if tame it, keep it in check, you grow from it. All that does not break you, makes you stronger, but only if you accept that and learn from it."

"An interesting point of view." Kurenai spoke after a moment, trying to process all of this. "You think that is what he meant?"

"I think yes. Actually, that is what he says very often in his own way. Naruto-kun told me, that Toero-san often repeats that every creation is only as strong as its foundation. Our darker side, the part of us we often wish to keep hidden, is still a part of us. Of our foundation. If we deny it's existence, we loose a part of our own foundation and at the more critical moment, we crumble. Without that lesson, I would've succumbed to the fox chakra during the battle and instead of using and directing those bestial and savage urges, I would have lost myself to them."

"I did not realize that, Hinata. To be completely honest, I was concerned and angry after learning what you had to go through. But now that you explained all of this to me, perhaps I was too quick to judge. If anything, your new rank is well deserved and I am proud that you are my student."

"Thank you, sensei."

"I am just a bit sad, that the lessons you learned recently, are not something I could have ever taught you."

"Don't worry, can't learn all from just one source, now can he. And you are a great teacher, Kurenai-sensei."

"Thank you, Hinata. Hmm, perhaps I should actually thank Toero, now that I think about it."

"You can." Hinata shrugged.

"Think I shouldn't?" Kurenai did not expect such a neutral reply from Hinata. It didn't seem she cared much.

"I just think it won't matter that much to him, sensei. He didn't teach me a lesson out of kindness of his heart or anything of sorts. He did that simply because it was his job during the exams. Your gratitude will not mean much to him."

"He will still get it, like it or not." Kurenai smirked, earning a laugh from Hinata, who then looked over her teacher with a strange look.

"What?"

"So, when will you tell Asuma-sensei?"

"Asuma? What? Tell him? Err, what should I tell him?" Kurenai blinked looking at her student, whole again had a weird expression that made Kurenai feel uneasy, to a degree that the older woman actually itched a bit away from Hinata, especially when her byakugan came to life, the veins around the eyes bulging.

"Sensei, you are pregnant."

"…."

"…."

"..." Kurenai just kept starting at her student who finally deactivated her byakugan.

"Congratulations?"

"B-but …."

"I knew the moment you walked into the estate. My byakugan is more powerful now. And probably everyone knows you and Asuma-sensei are dating."

"Asuma!" Kurenai jumped up rushing outside with Hinata quietly laughing, covering her face with her hands.

…

"You know, this is really not necessary. I appreciate the gesture, really." Kakashi didn't look all that happy when Asuma and Gai dragged him to one of their favourite bars to celebrate the promotion of his students. They also wanted to invite Kurenai who declined, as she had to discuss something with Lady Tsunade.

"Nonsense. Your students showed their incredibly bright and hot flames of youth, earning their promotions. I have to count this as a point on for you in our rivalry."

"Eh? Umm, thanks. You should give yourself a point too, Gai." Kakashi with a sigh took a seat, allowing Asuma to handle the orders. After all they all already knew each other so well, each knew what the other would order anyway.

"I am afraid I can't. Fu is a talented ninja, but her promotion is not really any achievement on my part."

"I meant Tenten." Kakashi pointed out. "She became chunin earlier than any of my students, so that should count for something."

"Aha! Yes, you are correct Kakashi!" Gai slapped his hand on Kakashi's shoulder, nearly forcing the chair under the masked ninja to break, the furniture creaking from the strain.

"See, give yourself a point too." Kakashi rubbed his shoulder.

"Oh I will. But if that is the case, I will have to give you three points, because three of your students graduated."

"But your student graduated ahead of mine. That should be worth a couple of points?"

"Oh no, Kakashi. I will not take an easy route here. Even though this means that you are now in the lead by two points, I promise I will win the next challenge and if I won't, I will do ten thousand squats!"

"I am sure you will." Kakashi once again sighed. He hated to admit this, but with Gai around he actually felt more or less at peace, as the eccentric man could easily get his thought off of some of the more troubling matters or painful memories.

"Your drinks guys. For once we have an excellent occasion to celebrate." Asuma brought the bottles and glasses, taking a seat next to his fellow jounin instructors. He wasn't really that disappointed nobody from his team graduated this time. He was certain both Ino and Chouji would reach the next rank each at their own pace.

The first round of toasts for the former genin went quickly as the men were just having a good time, but then Asuma suddenly stiffened, when he felt the temperature drop and a menacing around appear behind him. The large man slowly turned around and saw a very pissed looking Kurenai. If only looks could kill, Asuma would probably be on the floor by this point.

"Kurenai-chan! Decided to join us?" Asuma gulped when Kurenai grabbed him by the collar, lifted the man onto his feet, before she pulled him closer and whispered something into his ear.

"Huh? You sure? I mean, is she sure?"

"What do you think? She saw it, literally!" Kurenai released Asuma who sort of slumped down onto his seat as if someone removed all bones from his body.

"Whoah, that is big news, Kurenai."

"You think?" Kurenai took a seat next to him and silently reached for a glass filled with some kind of beverage, quite obviously alcoholic.

"Err, sorry, you can't anymore." Asuma gently put his hand over hers, not allowing her to take the glass.

"Oh, right, right." Kurenai nodded. Kakashi and Gai, who silently observed the scene up to this point both shared a look, before Kakashi finally decided to speak up.

"Umm, is it what we both think it is?"

"Ughh." Kurenai slammed her forehead against the table.