Chapter Thirty Seven

It didn't seem long at all until Harry was back at Hogwarts. Umbridge had seemingly brought in several new Educational Decrees over the holidays, further restricting the students movement, behaviour and interactions.

Harry had been greeted in the common room be a harsh glare from Gemini, buried in a book with brown paper wrapped around the cover.

"Nice to see you too, Gemini." Harry said, rolling his eyes, "Did you have a good holiday?"

Gemini didn't answer, she just glared and ignored him for a moment before slamming the book shut and stomping off to her room.

"Mater and Sir forgot to send us anything." Corvus said quietly, "Gem is still a bit mad at them."

Rodolphus smacked him the back of the head, "Why would you tell him that?" he hissed, "Get to your room you useless-"

"Leave him be, Rodolphus." Harry snapped.

"Stay out of my family business, filthy half blood." Rodolphus sneered.

Corvus took the time to run off to his room. Harry pushed passed Rodolphus to go up to his own room and flopped on the bed. His trunk had already been delivered, sitting neatly at the end of his bed.

He pulled the ring Nikka had given him out of his pocket and put it safely in the bottom of his trunk. It was his shining light for getting towards the end of the term.

He was sitting in Transfiguration, on his first day of class, trying to get his brain to absorb just a little bit more information for his O.W.L. He'd read the same page three times.

"That is all class, you may now pack up." McGonagall said clearly, "Your homework is to finish reading chapter six and make notes on the correct way to calculate the volume of bowl each mouse will hold. Mr Potter I need to see you after class."

Harry wondered what he could of possibly done on the first day of term to get himself into trouble already. He packed up his bag slowly and tried not to over think things. Draco, Daphne and Pansy hung back at the door, waiting for him.

"Miss Greengrass, Mr Malfoy and Miss Parkinson you may leave now." Professor McGonagall told them firmly without even needing to look up.

Draco gave Harry an awkward wave goodbye.

"We'll meet you in the library." Pansy said, closing the door behind her.

Harry sat nervously at his desk, waiting for Professor McGonagall to look up from whatever she was writing.

Professor McGonagall laid down her quill and looked over Harry for a moment before standing up and walking over to him.

"Mr Potter." McGonagall said, "Professor Dumbledore filled me in, on the finer points, of what happened to you, shortly before Christmas and has asked me to give you private lessons in Occlumency. I assume you know what that is?"

Harry nodded, "Yes. It's shielding your mind from people trying to look into it."

Professor McGonagall gave a sharp nod, "In a basic form, correct. Professor Dumbledore feels that it would be, beneficial to stop you having any more dreams such as the one that alerted us to finding Mr Weasley."

"But, it was a good thing that Mr Weasley was found." Harry pointed out, the dream had terrified him, but if it hadn't happened Mr Weasley would be dead.

"In that instance, yes," Professor McGonagall conceded, "But Professor Dumbledore has made it very clear that it should not happen again."

Harry nodded, he wasn't sure he agreed with what she was saying but if he thought to much about what they weren't telling him his blood began to boil.

"Well that's all." Professor McGonagall said, walking back to her desk and sitting down again, "I will send you a note when I am ready for your first lesson. Do you have any questions for me?"

"I want to know why Professor Dumbledore is so adamant that-" Harry began.

Professor McGonagall raised her hand, "Questions I am permitted to answer, Mr Potter."

Harry gritted his teeth, "Fine. Dad is really good at Occlumency, why can't he teach me?"

Professor McGonagall looked down for a moment, clasping her hands on the desk in front of her, "You know, Mr Potter, that Professor Umbridge is keeping a close eye, on us all. Professor Snape, as well as a few other teachers, are under especially close scrutiny. We cannot give her any reason to suspect you are receiving any special treatment. It is in the Order's best interest that Severus be able to stay at Hogwarts for as long as possible."

"Dad's leaving? At some point? What do you mean as long as possible?" Harry gasped.

"We're getting off topic, Mr Potter." Professor McGonagall said, "But no, hopefully not."

Harry nodded and forced a smile, "I'll wait for your note then."

Professor McGonagall gave him a sharp nod and went back to her marking. Harry stood up listlessly and walked to the library. Draco, Daphne and Pansy were sitting around their large table, seats saved for Hermione, Neville and Harry.

Harry slumped into his chair and pulled out his homework.

"What did she want?" Draco asked.

"She wants me to take private lessons in Occlumency, Dumbledore thinks it will stop the dreams." Harry told them.

"Occlumency?" Pansy asked, "But we've not even done our O. , that's way above our level surely?"

Harry shrugged, "Tell me about it. I can't say I'm looking forward to it."

Draco shifted awkwardly, "Do… are you going to work at it?"

Harry wasn't sure. He knew there must be a reason Dumbledore wanted him to close his mind off but he also knew how much he wanted to get through that door he kept seeing.

"Yeah. Yeah of course." Harry said quickly, "But right now I don't need to think about it. McGonagall is going to send me a note for my first lesson so for now, Divination; joy."

It was only a few days before a note arrived, slipped into his class work, that said he would be having his first 'extra Transfiguration' lessons that evening. At least he could now set a date for the next DA lesson, something he was being nagged about every time a member passed him in the hallway, which would in turn mean he could try and ask Cho out on a date for the next Hogsmead trip, knowing that he would actually be free. There was a cute little tea room that he'd never been in but looked cozy for couples to talk.

He spent the rest of the day dreading six o'clock when he was due to meet Professor McGonagall for his first Occlumency lesson. He was heading to Professor McGonagall's office, already running a little late, when he spotted Cho.

She waved at him shyly and told her friends to go ahead.

"Hi Harry." She smiled, tucking a loose waved of hair behind her ear, "Did you have a good Christmas? I heard you were ill?"

Harry nodded, "Yeah, it was nice. I'm all better now, thanks for asking."

He shifted awkwardly under her gaze.

"I should be going, I've loads of homework before Quidditch practice tonight." Cho said after a few minutes.

"Oh, OK. Yeah I've got to get to my extra Transfiguration lessons anyway." Harry said, "Wait, umm… I was going to ask you at the next DA lesson but since you're here… I… I wanted to ask you if you were free to go to Hogsmead, with me, on a date… thing. We've got a trip coming up soon and there's a lovely looking café down there."

Cho beamed at him, "Oh Harry, I'd love to."

Harry grinned, "Great, thanks, great."

Cho laughed kindly and waved goodbye to him. Harry could of skipped down the corridor he was so happy, he honestly didn't think she was going to say yes.

"You are late Mr Potter." Professor McGonagall scolded, breaking through Harry's happiness.

Harry lowered his head, "Sorry Professor." He said quietly, moving towards a chair.

"No need to sit down." Professor McGonagall said, "You should be standing for these lessons anyway."

She lead him through a door towards the back of the office into a bare room. It had a spotless flag stone floor and pure white walls. In one corner stood a small table with a pensive resting on it.

"I've never been in here." Harry mused, looking around.

"No reason for you to have been." Professor McGonagall said quickly, looking rather cross, "This is part of my private rooms, I've emptied it as it will be easier for you to learn without any distractions."

Harry nodded and stood still, waiting for further instruction. Professor McGonagall walked calmly over to the pensive and removed several shimmering memories from her head. Harry wondered what they could be. He knew they were private but he wanted to know what she was hiding from him.

After a few minutes Professor McGonagall turned back to Harry, "What do you know of Occlumency?"

Harry felt his mind grow blank, "Umm… I believe it is a way to stop people getting into your head."

McGonagall gave a sharp nod, "That is a basic explanation yes. It is a branch of magic that seals the mind against others thoughts. Closely related to Legilimency of course."

"Which is trying to read someone's mind?" Harry confirmed.

"Correct." Professor McGonagall said, "But we don't need to worry about that now, you have no need to learn such an intrusive ability at this stage of your learning."

Harry nodded.

"Occlumency is a difficult magic to learn, there is no simple spell or potion to memorises, it is purely force of will. You are not untalented, Potter, but you can, sometimes, have little motivation to try your best. That will not work here." Professor McGonagall said sternly, "You will have to put all your effort into this."

Harry nodded again, he wasn't sure what to say but he resented the implication that he didn't try his best in classes.

"What do you need me to do?" Harry said.

Professor McGonagall looked at him sadly for a moment, "There is no way to learn this with out practice. The only way to do this is for me to try and break into your mind while you try and stop me."

Harry blinked, "What? That seems massively impossible."

McGonagall ignored him, "I will attempt to stay away from anything private, but the mind is not straight forward and it's not always easy to to navigate. 'Mind Reading' is not an entirely accurate expression, after all."

Harry took a deep breath. He still didn't understand why he had to go through this, and was getting annoyed with the standard response of 'because Dumbledore/some adult said so'.

Harry tried to clear his mind, not to think of things that he would rather keep to himself but as soon as he tried not to think of something it always popped straight into his head.

McGonagall pointed her wand at him and took a deep breath, "You must try and resist. Do not hold your wand, you must repel me with your mind only. Legilimens."

Harry was completely unprepared for what happened, he could see his memories flashing before his eyes but every time he'd focus on stopping one it would be gone. He was under the sorting hat, Danica came home for the first time, Nikka and Tonks at a Malfoy party, Cho was under the mistletoe, pulling him in…

Harry used every ounce of strength he had to try and force McGonagall out, he didn't want her to see that; it was private.

Harry felt a sharp pain, radiate up his arm as the blank room came back into focus. He was breathing heavily on the floor.

"You allowed me to get too far in." Professor McGonagall chided, looking over his wrist.

She waved her wand and the pain left him.

"Thanks." Harry mumbled, "Did you see everything?"

"Most of it. You need to push me out the second I get into you mind, not wait around for some memory you feel is private." Professor McGonagall said sternly, "It's too late by then."

Harry nodded and got to his feet, he could feel his anger building up again, he had been trying, surely she had to know that he had been trying.

"We will try again." McGonagall told him, moving away once more.

Harry tried to push her away again as he found himself in the graveyard, staring down at Cedric's body.

He was on the floor again, gasping for breath as tears rolled down his cheeks.

"You have to learn this Potter, this has to have your full concentration!" McGonagall snapped, "You are thinking of the things that you fear, the things you don't want to see! That's handing them to me!"

"I'm trying!" Harry yelled, pushing himself to his feet.

"Do not yell at me Mr Potter, I am still your teacher" McGonagall said coolly.

Harry took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down, "Sorry, Professor."

Professor McGonagall gave him a sharp nod, "Again."

They'd won a Quidditch match, he was seeing Hagrid all beaten, Danica was playing in the Malfoy pond, Mr Weasley was leading him towards the door, the one he so wanted to go through in his dreams but he was lead off to the left, down a set of stone steps.

Harry was on the floor again, "I know. Oh my gods, I know." he breathed.

"You know what?" McGonagall asked, "What was that door?"

Harry turned himself over so he could sit, rubbing the gaze on his hand and trying to ignore how much his scar was hurting, "I saw, I remembered that door at last."

"What are you talking about?" McGonagall asked, looking down worriedly at Harry.

Harry didn't care, he was so relieved that he finally knew where that door was, "I've been dreaming about that door and the long corridor for months, I finally remembered where I'd seen it."

Professor McGonagall looked suspiciously at him.

"Professor, what's in the Department of Mysteries?" Harry asked, getting to his feet.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Professor McGonagall said quickly.

"That door, it leads to the Department of Mysteries, I know it does. What's in there?" Harry asked, trying his best not to raise his voice.

"There is nothing about the Department of Mysteries that you need to worry about." McGonagall said firmly, "You need to be focusing on closing your mind over, not something that has nothing to do with you."

"So there is something?" Harry pointed out, "That Voldemort wants."

"I will request that you do not use that name in my home." McGonagall hissed.

Harry gritted his teeth, "That You-Know-Who wants. And that's where Mr Weasley got attacked, whatever is in there is worth risking life and freedom to guard."

Professor McGonagall looked at him through narrowed eyes, "I have told you that it does not concern you, Mr Potter."

"I want to know!" Harry said, loudly, "I have a right to know. Of course this concerns me! It's me who's having this stuff pumped into my head!"

"Which brings us back to the point." McGonagall said, "You must learn to stop You-Know-Who, or anyone else for that matter, 'pumping things into you head' as you put it."

"Just tell me! I don't understand why no one will tell me anything!" Harry said, exasperated.

"You are a child Mr Potter, you will be told what you need to know, when you need to know it and no more. Dumbledore knows what his is doing." Professor McGonagall told him, "Now, I think that is enough for today. I will see you Wednesday, same time. Please continue to tell people I am giving extra Transfiguration lessons to help you prepare for your O.W.L."

Harry sulkily nodded and followed her out the room, stomping down the hall to the Slytherin common room. He was not a child! He was fifteen, sixteen in just a few months, and he had been through more than most adults already.

He lashed out kicking the wall, making his foot hurt.

"Well that wasn't very nice." an old woman in a painting scolded.

"Shut up." Harry spat, storming down the corridor again to find his friends.