Thursday: November 1, 2012 4:47 P.M.

Randy sat on the edge of our bed as I laid in the bed, wrapped up in blankets. "Are you sure that it's fine for me to go?"

I look over at Randy. "Babe, I feel absolutely exhausted, and I threw up again earlier. I'm not going to go to dinner at your parents', but you should go. I want you to go."

Randy gave me a concerned look. "Okay. I'll go, but if you need me for anything, absolutely anything, I want you to call me. Alright?"

I smile. "I will."

"Okay." Randy kisses my forehead. "I'm going to go. I'm leaving Spike here with you, but I'll fill his food and water that way you won't need to worry about that. I love you."

"Thanks. I love you too."

"Make sure you get some rest, Rissa."

"I will."

Randy exits the bedroom and closes the door. I laid in bed and didn't move a muscle. I felt absolutely horrible and had no idea what has been going on with me these past few days. I had been really tired, thrown up a couple of times, and had needed to use the restroom a lot more than normal.

I look over at the box of letters. "Ya know, I might as well since I'll be alone for a while."

As I go to get out a letter, my phone starts to ring. It's Ryse. I answer the call.

Me: "Hello?"

Ryse: "You sound like shit."

Me: "I feel like shit, so it works."

Ryse: "Ted told me that you threw up on Tuesday."

Me: "I did it again today, and I'm also really tired. I just chose to bail on a dinner with Randy's parents because I just don't think I have it in me to go."

Ryse: "Damn, that sucks. Do you think you're sick?"

Me: "I've only thrown up twice, and I get really tired sometimes so I'm not sure."

Ryse: "Well I hope you start feeling better. I want to go bridesmaids dresses shopping sooner than later and would really like if all four of you are there, so keep me posted on what's going on."

Me: "I will. I hope this isn't anything too bad though."

Ryse: "I'm sure you'll get through whatever it is though, Rissa. You'll be fine."

Me: "Yeah, I should be fine. I'll keep you posted."

Ryse: "Okay. I'll let you rest. If you need to talk, you can call me."

Me: "Okay. Thanks, Ryse. Bye."

The call ends. I put my phone down before looking at the box of letters. I get the letter numbered thirty-two out to read.

Date: March 28, 2005

Dear Marissa, I watched your match tonight. You may never know that, but I did watch your match tonight. I know it was your first match tonight, on TV at least. You didn't beat that Christy Hemme chick, but I could tell that you did your best. I'm proud of you.

I know we've had our disagreements, and you've avoided talking to me more than just a little bit since what happened back in November.

I'm hoping that we'll make some progress on that, but I know that you won't be around much because of your job. I completely understand that.

I'm sorry that I was so quick to jump to conclusions when we first discussed your career choice. I think you'll have a lot to bring to the table with your job in WWE.

Your brother Colby grew up watching wrestling, and he wants to become a professional wrestler too. I tried to get him to tell you that because I thought it would give you something to bond over. However, Colby refused to because he worries that he'd come off like he wanted to use your position to get a job with WWE. That isn't what he wanted. I hope he tells you eventually though. You'd understand much more than I do, but I can accept if that is the career path that two of my three children want to take. I hope you both find the success that you're looking for.

Love, Mom

I smile as I put the letter down. That one wasn't really even that bad. I decided to go ahead and open the next letter, the letter numbered thirty-three.

Date: April 3, 2005

Dear Marissa, I watched WrestleMania tonight. Colby has gotten me to watch more and more wrestling recently, especially since you're on Raw weekly now.

You didn't wrestle tonight of course, but you were the manager for the Women's Champion Trish Stratus as she defended her championship against that girl you wrestled last week on Raw. Trish won and you played an effective role as a manager for her.

I know WrestleMania is like the Super Bowl for WWE, so this must be a big deal to you. You didn't wrestle, but you still got to play a role at WrestleMania. I guess I don't know exactly what your bosses wanted from you, but if it was for you to help make the crowd even more angry with Trish, you did a great job. I'm hoping that we'll maybe get to see you wrestle more yourself soon too.

I hope we can talk again soon. I'm feeling like I'm really missing out on properly communicating with you, even though we do talk a little bit sometimes.

I know we may never have a normal mother and daughter relationship, but I'm hoping to have some sort of relationship with you, Marissa. You are my daughter, my only daughter, and despite the past, you will always be a part of who I am.

I know it may take some work, but I do very much want to work on things with you. I hope you want the same. I hope I can talk to you again soon. If I'm lucky, maybe you and I will be able to talk to each other for a long period of time next time.

Love, Mom

I sigh before putting the letter down. That was a lot to read, and I was already exhausted. I take off my reading glasses before curling up in my blankets and going to sleep.

10:23 P.M.

I woke up as I heard the bedroom door open. "Randy, is that you?"

The bedroom door closes, and Randy kisses my forehead. "It's me. How are you feeling?"

"I'm still really tired."

"Well it's about 10:30 now. It's a good time to get more sleep. Did you read a letter?"

I roll over to look at him. "I read two actually, and Ryse called me too."

"Oh, were the letters bad?"

"The first one was fine. The second one was a lot. That's all I can say."

Randy nodded. "Alright. My mom had me bring home some leftovers for you to eat if you feel up to eating. If you feel up to eating in the middle of the night, the leftovers are in the fridge."

"Tell your mom thank you for me."

Randy changed into pajamas before climbing into bed next to me. "I already did, Rissa. I hope you get over whatever this is soon."

I smile as I laid next to him. "Me too, Randy."

"I want you to be able to manage me."

"I want that too, Randy."