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I went into a lab for the in vitro process for Weiss's second. They needed a sperm sample so I masterbated into a cup and put it through a door and left it for the laboratory technicians. I was a little bit embarrassed. I was a guy with two wives. I shouldn't be masterbating. Ever. I didn't have the fluids to spare on self satisfaction. And looking the receptionist in the eye after I just came behind a closed door was a little rough but I managed. Weiss was waiting for me in the waiting room.

"So what happens now?" I asked.

"You gave them a sample?" She reaffirmed.

"Sure did. A steaming hot pool of Cloud Strife." She wrinkled her nose in disgust. "No?" I wondered. "Didn't like that?"

"Don't be gross," she ordered.

"Babe, you've eaten at that restaurant," I returned. I laughed.

"Don't. Be. Gross. Now I wait while they find a healthy x-chromosome sperm. Then they'll take an egg from me and fertilize it in a lab and reinsert it to my uterine wall."

"Got it. So I'm all done. Well what do you know? This was even easier than my normal contributions to the circle of life. All I had to do was splooge in a cup," I chuckled.

"You're. Still. Being. Gross." She hit me with each word. "Stop it."

"How exactly am I supposed to refer to this? My come? My sperm?" I wondered.

"Sperm. You're supposed to be clinical."

"Yeah. That sounds like me," I rolled my eyes.

"We're ready for you Mrs. Strife," a woman came out from one of the labs and held a clipboard. They were going to take one of her eggs.

This whole thing was whack. But then again the regular process for having kids was messed up. So this really wasn't that crazy compared to just ejaculating correctly one time.

"I want one too…" Ruby whined. "I don't want to wait. I want another one."

I gazed at her as Weiss walked away. I sat down beside her and patted the inside of her thigh. "Okay," I decided.

"Okay?" She wondered.

"Okay." I breathed. "You want another kid and you want me to knock you up again then I will." I splayed my fingers down at the stroller in which the babies were both handing out and strapped in. I wiggled my fingers like I was casting a spell. Garnet laughed but Nebel just lulled his head along. He wasn't as easy to entertain. Garnet was pretty easy to please.

"I thought you wanted me to wait?" Ruby demanded.

"Since when does what I want matter to your dreams?" She opened her mouth. "Wait. That came out mean. It came out like you don't care. Since when do your dreams become my whimsy? I'm here to grant your wishes. It's my job. I thought you'd want more time to recover. It's only been a few months since you last popped one out. You could still be healing. Who knows if my seed will even take until your body has finished touching up the damage?"

"Okay…"

"Okay what?" I wondered. "I'll do my best to make you pregnant if that's really what you want."

"You make me feel like… like I'm exploiting you," she managed.

"You're not. You're not exploiting me. I love you too much. You could never," I explained.

"But when am I asking too much from you?" She demanded.

"I don't know," I shrugged. "I have no idea. I don't think that you can. If I fail to do what you want then maybe. But so far I haven't failed."

I breezed my right hand through Nebel's hair and scratched the back of his head. He leaned into my touch like a kitten. He was so much like his mother. She was catlike in her affection as well. 'Leave me alone. Leave me alone. Come here. Come here. Come here. Go away. Go away.' She was touch starved though she was getting better about it and asking for affection. Nebel couldn't do that. He could only stretch into my caress and scratches.

"But it isn't too soon?" Ruby asked.

"Only if you think it's too soon is it too soon," I denied. "If you're ready, then you're ready. I'm on your time table. Until the very end I'm on your time table."

"Don't talk like that," she pleaded. I frowned but gave her a little nod as I messed with Nebel's snow white hair.

"Sure," I agreed.

"I wish you would say 'no' to me…" Ruby trailed. "Sometimes. Not all the time. But I wish you'd let me know. You know? Why should I be the boss?"

"Because you know your dreams better than I do? I'm just here to make it happen sweetheart. That's what I signed up for when I married you. Making your dreams come true. That's all I really want as well. That's all I want. I want to grant your wishes and give you the family you always wanted. That's what I really want to do. But…"

"But…" Ruby wondered.

"But… I don't know. I'm sort of too small to have my own dreams. So I borrow yours. And it's big enough to share. So I don't really mind. The things I truly want are too big or all have to do with making you happy. I don't think I can really do that. Have the things I want or really honestly make you happy. I can't really have either of those. But… I'd certainly like to try. And you know your body better than I do. If you say you're ready for another one, then you're ready for another one. I have to take you at your word. And believe it. So if this is really what you want then I will do my best to make it happen because I love you so much it makes me cry. My hands are tied. I have to try my hardest. I can't ever give up. I can't say 'no' to you until I've tried as hard as I possibly can. That's how love works. I think. For me at least."

"Oh…" She stammered. "Well thank you. I just wish I could give something back to you."

"You give me something when you wake up next to me every day. That's what I get. It's fantastic. I couldn't ask for more."

"That's not fair…"

"What's not fair about it? I get to wake up everyday with two beautiful babes on my arms. That's not fair. I get that. Every day I get that. I get you. That's privilege."

"You really think so?"

"Well… I also get your love and support which is just," I made a fist and pumped it gently. "It just is. And by all rights I should have had to choose between you and Weiss."

"But we were gay for one another. We wanted one another and you," Ruby intruded.

"So I should have been out! I should have been canceled. It should have been over. You two could have rode off into the sunset without me and I would have said 'yeah, fair enough.' And it would have been."

"You really think that? You butt! You miserable butt!" She exclaimed. "What am I going to do with you?"

"Take care of me? I am baby," I mumbled.

"You are not. You're a man. What would you know about being baby? You were forced to mature from a young age and get over your bad habits. Seriously, what would you know about being baby?"

"I want to be taken care of? Isn't that baby enough?" I wondered. "Besides, you still take care of me. Even though I'm not baby. So thanks for that. Thanks for doing that. Now let me take care of you a little. And if that means knocking you up then that means knocking you up."

"You really think that way, don't you?"

"Am I wrong? You hold me together, sweetheart. After Pyrrha died you took me, piece by piece, and put me back together. That wasn't easy. And when I killed Ren and Nora you looked after me then too. In Atlas you took care of me. I swore at the altar I'd pay you back for being such a good friend as best as I was able. If that means you want kids that means that you want kids. You're seriously my best friend and I'm lucky to have married you. And I know Weiss is your bestie, but she was always my girlfriend and she was never my best friend. You were my best friend. Before you were my girlfriend you were looking after me in Mistral."

"But I wanted to be your girlfriend in Mistral." She smacked me on the shoulder.

"But at Beacon?" I wondered.

"Well… maybe sometimes. Not like in Mistral… plus there was…"

"There was Pyrrha, yeah. I know. But you see where I'm coming from?"

"A little. You don't have to look after me so hard. Like there isn't anything to pay back. I don't want you to feel indebted to me."

"But I so am. I would have fuckin' died if not for you out in Mistral. Over and over again I would have died. Now we have had a baby together. Now we have two kids. Two! That's almost twice as many as one!"

"Almost?"

"You get the idea. Two is more than twice as many as one when it comes to babies," I informed her. "It's 'cause you," I pointed at Garnet who giggled and grabbed for my finger. "Keep waking you," I pointed at Nebel who scoffed. "Up," I finished with a grin.

"Yeah well how about four. Four babies. How many times more is that than one?" Ruby demanded.

"A lot," I shrugged. "I'm not good at baby math. More than four times as many. That's for sure."

"What's baby math?" She demanded.

"Math involving, you know, babies. Come on Ruby. Come on Rubes," I carried on.

I waggled my fingers in front of Garnet's face and she reached out and grabbed at them in a little pounce. Maybe she was a touch catlike as well. Maybe a touch.

"So if I wanted to start trying again tonight… you would say…?"

"I would ask if you're not on the pill? Aren't you on the pill? How does the pill work?" I wondered.

"Well we take the pill once a day. And that's pretty much that."

"And when do you take the pill?" I wondered.

"In the evenings," she explained.

"So I suppose the answer to your question is yeah sure. We can start trying tonight. If that's really what you want then we absolutely can. My end is all good."

"Your end?"

"Yeah. Me coming one time just right. I'm ready for that. My contribution to the life process." I scoffed.

"You do more than that. You look after us when we're pregnant. You do a great job with the babies. You work hard."

"Well I have to do something. I have to add more to the circle of life than I really do while you're pregnant. Because while you're pregnant and carrying the baby my ability to add to it is pretty much null. It's pretty low."

"You do as much as you're able!" Ruby protested. "It's not your fault you can't help us grow the baby! You can't blame yourself for that."

"I can and I will. I so totally completely can and I will. It's my fault I can't help you. It's 'cause I'm not good enough." Garnet was sucking on my fingers now. She was a slob. Oh what a slob!

"Oh psh. You would take that attitude," she mumbled.

"I have no choice but to take any other attitude. What else am I gonna do? There's no more content there to be had."

"Oh huff," she grimaced. "You can't be serious. We have to take lion's share. It's what we do."

"I know. And I just have to sit on it. It fucking sucks."

"Language! Babies! Sponges!" She made a squeezing gesture with her hands to indicate that they were absorbing things.

"Golly dang nabbit, Rubes. You got me in a corner here."

Weiss came back out from being closed doors.

"What's the plan?" I asked her.

"We come back in a few days once they've had time to fertilize the egg and they'll do the insertion."

"And… will you be put under for that?" I hazarded.

"I was just sedated a few moments ago… so maybe. Then they took a needle and an ultrasound to me to guide the needle. Next they collected a few eggs from my ovaries but I really didn't feel a thing. I'm a little dizzy, in fact."

"Okay," I granted.

"You sound a little out of it, Weiss," Ruby agreed.

"Well it wasn't a comfortable process," Weiss explained. "The needle could have caused serious damage if they weren't careful and they had to put it way up there and it was thin and sharp and not pleasant."

"But it will be worth it for your little girl. Right?" I wondered. For me this process had been easy so far. And they would be lucky if they were halfway done with Weiss. They still had to reinsert the egg back up inside of her.

"Well they'll probably sedate me again. So it shouldn't be too bad?" Weiss wondered.

"It's halfway over!" Ruby exclaimed.

"I would expect things to get worse. But then I'm a pessimist," I said.

"Thank you. Thank you for that," Weiss rolled her eyes at me.

"Well…" I trailed. "You really think it will get easier. And if the first one doesn't take they'll have to try again. And again. And again. Until they get it right."

"I'm not giving up. Sure it was unpleasant but I want my little girl," Weiss sounded adamant.

"Okay. Sure," I granted. "And they got multiple eggs? So the only thing to repeat would be the implanting process? Right?" I tried to reaffirm.

"Yeah. That should be the case. And even if it's not I want my little girl." Weiss rubbed above her belly where the baby would one day be growing.

"I'm sure it will be fine. And the doctors know what they are doing to make it as little invasive as possible," Ruby hummed. "You're going to be pregnant!"

"And you, Ruby?"

"Well… I want to be pregnant. And Cloud said I could start trying again…"

"You gave in to her?" Weiss mumbled auditorily accusatorily.

"Yeah, like I was ever going to be able to resist. Look at Ruby. With the big silver eyes. I never stood a prayer."

Weiss bobbed her head in mild agreement. "So you two want to start trying again? Ruby…"

"I want another one. At least another one. And who knows how much time we really have left…"

"Left with Cloud," Weiss finished. She sighed. "Well I won't argue. I do think you're going a little fast. But if you think you can handle it then you're probably right."

"That's pretty much what I said," I murmured.

"Yeah but you said it mean. Like you do. Not on purpose mean but accidental mean which is sometimes worse."

"What did I say that was mean?" I asked Ruby.

"You make me sound like a slave driver! You make me seem hungry for little babies when you're not."

"You are hungry for little babies though." I pointed out. "You're a little baby starved."

"Ugh. Whatever. So we'll be back here in like five days for the rest of the procedure?" Ruby wondered.

"That's the plan. And they should use a catheter and insert the embryo once it's been fertilized into me. And they'll probably also sedate me so it should be fine. I'll be totally fine," Weiss decided. And who knows? Maybe her word was law.

"It's not too late to try Au Naturale," I mumbled.

"No way. It absolutely is. I want my little girl. I want her. A little adorable girl for Nebel to look after. Think about how cute a baby we can make. A handsome princess," Weiss disagreed.

"I take it back. You're both baby crazy. Weiss is just better at hiding it."

Weiss scoffed but it was an affectionate sound. She didn't really deny it though.

"Babies are adorable…" Ruby whimpered. "What's wrong with wanting babies?"

"When you're me? Or when you're you? 'Cause for you there's nothing wrong. I think it's cute as shi- I think it's pretty cute. But for me it's a nightmare because of how I make it hell inside my head."

"Language!" Ruby smacked me on the arm hard.

"I used hell as a noun. Not a swear!"

"Fine. If it's a place I can't complain," Weiss decided.

"Well I can," Ruby growled. "No swearing."

"Fine. Fine," I agreed. "But that's why it's not my place to want babies. Because I'm all screwed up."

"You're not screwed up," Weiss rolled her eyes. "You're as well adjusted as we can expect you to be."

"Which is still not a ten out of ten. I rate my pain zero stars," I muttered.

"Oh posh!" Ruby exclaimed. We started walking out with me pushing the stroller with our babies in it. Weiss stumbled for a moment.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Just a cramp. They said it could happen."

"Okay. But you're alright besides a little pain," Ruby confirmed.

"Yeah. Just a little pain," Weiss agreed. She panted for a moment.

"You sure you're good?" I wondered. "We're at a clinic. Now's the time to say something if you suspect something is off with your body."

"No. It's just a cramp. Let me breathe."

"Okay, okay," I backed off. "But this can happen?"

"It can happen. Cramps happen to girls anyways."

"What a nightmare the female body is."

"You can't say that!" Ruby protested. "You're married to two of them and you're supposed to be attracted to us."

"And I am. But you have to admit periods are a wicked daydream come to life."

"Okay. Yeah. That's true," Weiss decided.

"I mean… a little. It's not that bad. Okay it's bad. It's awful," Ruby amended.

"You breathing? You need us to wait?" I demanded. "Because we will. You say the word."

"No, no. Thank you though. It's just pain from the needle. It's on that same side. It's probably nothing but that really isn't designed to be used that way."

"What?"

"Well the needle. That's not how eggs typically come out of there. It's usually done with the monthly cycle. Not by forcing it open and using a tiny needle. Even though the needle was tiny. And they would have seen if they did damage. With the ultrasound."

"Gotcha. Okay. That makes sense," Ruby agreed.

"I feel like my contribution was practically cheating. Here you are in pain and all I had to do was jerk off. It's the same problem as last time you were pregnant. I'm not contributing anything. What's the point in me being alive."

"Being a good husband and a good father," Weiss ordered.

"Well I'll give it a shot." I bent low over the stroller and breezed a hand through Nebel's hair. He gurgled up at me over that.

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-WG