Thank you so much guys for giving my story a chance and for all the positive reviews. They encourage me a lot. Keep loving :))
It's 5.30 am and sleep has yet to find me. Doesn't matter now, I have to wake up in 30 minutes anyways. I can't stop thinking about the events of yesterday
I want you back, Anastasia.
My head is pounding due to lack of sleep and all the tears I shed yesterday.
I wish things were different. I wish I was strong enough to take that chance. But I am not.
Sigh…
It will be fine. Obviously, it will hurt right now but I'll be fine. I pushed the covers off and start getting ready for work. I can't believe it has already been a week. I never expected to work in the field I want to right away. I can't help but feel a little proud of myself.
After showering I got dressed in a burgundy plain dress and stockings. I quickly ate a banana for breakfast. I would have prepared a proper breakfast but I hate eating alone. I am glad to have found Ellie, at least I don't have to have lunch alone. I miss Kate, it'll be another week before she returns.
Sigh…
I skyped her earlier, she looked so happy. Sun did her good. Elliot has also joined her. Kate never introduces any of her flings to her parents, they must be serious.
The whole time when we were on call, she talked about how amazing he is. She found the good brother. I couldn't help but feel jealous, they wouldn't have even met if it wasn't for me and Christian. No, Ana stop. Stop right there. It's not her fault you and Christian didn't work out. It never would have worked out. Forget him.
I put on my heels and left for work.
Something's not right. Someone is watching me. I glanced back but no one was there. I quickly entered my office building and settled my things on the desk.
"Goooood morning Ana" Ellie says in a singing voice
"You are in an awfully good mood today" I replied with a smile
She smiled back.
"You won't believe what happened yesterday"
"What?" I ask amused by her manner
"Tell you in lunch. By the way, how was your evening?" she asks
I notice Jack coming our way
"Tell you in lunch," I say with a wink
"Touche"
"Bye," she says going to her desk
"Bye-bye" I waved back
"Good morning Jack"
"Good morning Ana. How was your evening yesterday?" he asks, leaning over my desk
"Good" I replied vaguely
"That man your boyfriend"
What the hell?
"Umm…. No, he's just a friend."
"How did you guys meet? I mean he looked someone big" his eyes moving up and down, accessing me
What is he implying? I can't get a man like that?
"Yeah, actually my best friend is dating his brother so that's how we met" it's a partial lie
"Coffee?" I ask before he could say anything
"Yes, black no sugar. Also, remember the manuscript I gave you yesterday? The author will be here in 15 minutes" he says finally moving away
"I'll get you my notes"
"Thank you. Such a sweetheart" he says smiling
I nodded and quickly leave to get to work. Ugh… I hate him
I am organizing Jack's mails when my phone pings
Ready?
It's from Ellie. I checked the time, 1.30. I can't believe it's already lunchtime. Granted I have been trying to keeping myself busy so as to not think about Christian. sigh…
I make my way to Jack's office
"Hey, Jack. Can I go for lunch?" I ask
"I told you before. You don't have to ask"
"Thanks, Jack. Can I get you anything?"
"Just a meatball sub," he says with a crooked smile
Shit! I wouldn't have understood it before but thanks to Christian I know what he's trying to imply. Is it that common?
I nodded and leave
My mood sours. I wonder how long I can continue working for him. It sucks. I love my job here. He hasn't made a direct pass yet but past experiences taught me it'll be soon. Sigh…
I walk across the road to the nearest deli and spotted Ellie sitting on the table near the window.
"Hey"
"What's wrong?" she asks
"sigh… let me get my lunch first" I replied and she nodded
It's a little crowded in here, mostly with the office crew here for lunch. I ordered and a sandwich for myself and a meatball sub for Jack and returned to the table
"So?" she asks taking a bite from her burger
"I don't know. Jack, he's…. he's making me uncomfortable" I reply
She stops eating
"What did the bastard do?" she asks a little alarmed
"Tell me. Hey you okay?" she asks, her voice high pitched with worry
"Yeah, yeah I am fine. He hasn't touched me. It's just he is always invading my personal space, keeps asking personal questions. And sometimes… sometimes he says stuff you know like double-meaning stuff. It's irritating. I don't like it. I get very negative vibes from him. Very negative"
"Bro I don't wanna alarm you and I am not trying to scare you, okay? But be careful. Be careful. He hasn't retained a secretary before. They always leave without giving any reason. It feels very shady" her voice hushed and soft
Sigh… I am more worried now. Should I keep working? I have to work for a month to get my paycheck and if something happens and I have to leave before a month, all this suffering will be for nothing. Is it even worth it? I have a lot to think
I shook my head
"I don't wanna think about it now. Tell me why were you so happy this morning?" I ask
Her face instantly lights up
"ohhhhhh…..." she says clapping her hands with a giggle
"What?" I laugh
"So, there's this guy that I had a crush on. Like the biggest of all time. And he's a good friend. I went trekking last month and we met there and got onto talking. He was so sweet, so caring. So yesterday he asked hey do hang out tomorrow. See, we haven't met after the trip and yesterday he just asked. I said yes of course. I don't know if it's a date or not. But I am happy" she says with a big smile
"Ohh god… very romantic," I say excited for her
"Isn't it" she laughs
It seems everyone is falling in love around me. Sigh…
"So how was your evening," she asks
"Oh no look at the time. I have to get back." I evaded
She nodded and we head back to SIP. The rest of the day went uneventful. Jack was out after lunch so that was good.
"To Ana" Oliver made a toast
"To Ana" cheers all
We are having a small dinner at Oliver and Zoey. His college roommate Vincent is here and Amelia on Skype call. I love my friends. I smile as everyone drinks
"So how has it been?" Vin asks
"Like a dream" I smile
It is true. I love working at SIP, aside from Jack, who of course is a nightmare to work for, everyone else has been really good to me.
"I knew you can do it" Amelia yells
With two red ponytails and her Hello Kitty knee-length nightdress, she looks adorable.
"Thank you. Bro I would give anything to hug you right now" I say with a little longing
I miss her
"When are you coming back?" Vin asks
They have never openly admitted but everyone knows they both have feelings for each other but never acted yet. Maybe when she's here again something will happen.
"There are still little formalities to complete. Though hopefully in a month" she says crossing her fingers.
She transferred to NYU to finish her last year due to her grandmother's deteriorating health. She wanted to spend some time with her. Now that she's healthy again she's shifting back home.
We chatted a bit. Vincent told us how his furniture business is taking off. Oliver and he both graduated in Business Management however Oliver works in a big firm as Sales head and Vin took over his father's furniture company. They asked me about my job and told them everything except for the Jack situation. Everyone is in good spirit and I don't want to downer the mood and anyways it's the weekend. I have decided to give this Jack situation one more week before making any decision.
"Ohh… Z. everything was so delicious. Oh god, you killed us. I don't think I can get up right now" I praised
"Aww… too bad 'cause you are helping me do the dishes," she says sarcastically
I give her an exasperated face
"Come," she says and I follow her in the kitchen, rolling my eyes
"So?" she asks
"So?" I ask not understanding her meaning
"About Christian. You said you'll explain later."
"Sigh…"
"I am just worried about you Ana. I haven't told Oliver anything not even about the portraits." She says
"I know. I love you. We met when I interviewed him for a paper as Kate was too sick to go. He asked me out. We went out a couple of times. It was good. However, last week we had an argument, a huge argument and we broke up. But then he asked to take me to Jose's show. I… I wanted to see him again" I explained in a filtered way
I don't know from where I am getting the strength to not cry
"Everything okay now?" she asks
I can't. I couldn't hold it any longer and tears start falling down my cheeks.
I shake my hand
"Oh Ana" she washed her hands and hugged me
"He could have been my one Zoey" my voice shaky with tears
She rubs my back soothingly
"Do you wanna talk about it?" she asks softly
I shake my head again.
"I understand. Shh… it's okay. Calm down"
"Hey, guys. Check it out" Vin yells from the living room
I quickly wiped my face and took a few deep breaths to calm myself down
"Coming" Zoey replies
"Okay?" she asks her voice worried
I nodded
"Come" she takes my hand
"What's going on?" she asks
"Look at the screen" Oliver gestured
Businesswoman Elena Lincoln, owner of a chain of the saloon, Esclava, in Seattle, is arrested for child molestation and unlawful sexual intercourse with underage boys and girls. Her house in Bellevue was raided when a 16-year-girl boy filed a complaint against her. Police have found evidence images of horrific and barbaric sexual assault at her house. All the victims are between the age of 15-17.
The girl worked as a Meerkat Nanny for Mrs. Lincoln and accidentally saw her flogging a boy, his hands tied, and immediately informed her father, Detective Henry Miller. The search warrant was issued when an anonymous source sent pictures of Mrs. Lincoln in a compromising position to Mr. Miller.
She is in a close circle with the mother of 'Billionaire bachelor' Christian Grey and has been spotted at several events hosted by the Grey family. Also, according to sources Mr. Grey is the silent partner in her business salon but nothing has been confirmed yet. None of the members of the Grey family has spoken on the matter yet. WPD is doing everything to get to the bottom of this. For more stay tuned...!
I feel sick. I rushed to the bathroom to empty my guts.
"Wait, I'll check" I hear Zoey following me.
She pulled my hair back and soothingly rubs my back. After what feels like an eternity of me emptying my dinner. I sat with my head against the wall as she flushes the toilet.
"You okay?" she asks
"I want to go home"
"No, stay here today"
"No, Zoey, please. Please I am sorry. I know I am being a shitty friend. I am asking you a lot to keep from Oliver. But please" I pleaded
"Ana, Shut up. You are staying here"
"I have a lot to think. Please I swear to god I'll text you and whenever you text, I'll always respond. Please. And seriously I am fine. I just want to be alone" I pleaded again
She finally nodded
"Come" she helped me up and I rinsed my mouth
"You okay?" Oliver asks as we stepped into the living room again
Both looking at us with worried eyes
Sigh…
"Yeah. Maybe seafood doesn't agree with my stomach" I say with a half-smile
They both huffed in relief
"It's late. I should go. Why? Stay the night. Vin is too" he offers
"No, I have to do some stuff to do at home," I say
"Like?"
I love him but moments like this makes me really wanna punch him
"Laundry, I was so busy. I don't even have clothes for tomorrow" I say jokingly
"So? Wear something of Zoey" Oliver pushes
That's it
"No, I have to go. I'll see you guys soon."
He knows not to push me now
"Okay, let me just grab my keys"
"No, stay. I'll take the bus."
"It's okay. It's just 10 minutes ride and you are already sick"
I gave him a look and he throws his hands in the air
"Fine"
I smiled
"Bye," I say as I hugged everyone
"Bye"
"Take care"
"Text when you reach"
I boarded the bus. Mine is just the second stop.
Sigh…
How could I have been this stupid? He must have known. Does he too? Of course, he does. He says she provides him with submissives.
"She knows my preferences"
Oh god. I gave him my virginity. I hate myself.
I entered my apartment and finally allowed the tears to flow. I am proud to hold it in till I reach home.
"You were abused"
"Anastasia my relationship with Elena was different. You wouldn't understand. Nobody does"
This is what he was talking about. This is what I wouldn't understand. No, it cannot happen. Not again. How can it happen again? Why me? Am I a magnet for pedophiles? Shit! he said he was 15 when they started. I should have known if she can do it once why not again. Shit! shit! shit!
I have let myself be the victim again. NO. I took out my phone and deleted his number after blocking. Next, I went to grab the bouquet he sent me and threw it in the trash can on the road. I don't want anything of him in my apartment.
I'll cry. I'll cry today. I give myself today. From tomorrow I don't know who Christian Grey is. And I cried. Cried for myself. Cried for the man I thought he was, for the man he couldn't have been if it wasn't for that bitch. For the fifteens and other kids who fell victim. I cried. I cried until I no more.