More Sex, more issues... Not necessarily in that order. Happy Weekend, and possibly happy Easter ;)

Day 7

Harry woke up as the sunlight hit his side of the bed. He grumbled a little and burrowed against the cosy warmth behind him that was Severus' back. The man was vibrating faintly with low rumbling snores. Harry grinned sleepily, remembering his weird dream about a little steam boat chugging up the Amazon River. He blinked open one eye, regarding the bit of clear blue sky he could see through the window. Severus' side of the bed was still in relative darkness, and Harry didn't want to wake him up. Then again, he liked the idea of a cuddle. Maybe if he woke him up with a cup of tea...

Severus surfaced from his velvety black slumber as somebody climbed over him, making the matress bounce. The air smelled of tea and warmth and very faintly of apples. He turned on his back, rubbing his eyes, then slowly opening them to Harry, bathed in sunlight. „Hmmm", he purred, shadowing his face so he could see better.
„Hey", Harry said softly, smiling.
„Hello there", Severus croaked, voice still asleep. He stretched one arm out, reaching for Harry, who lay back down next to him, snuggling up to Severus' side, resting his head on the offered shoulder.
„So I slept well", Harry murmured.
„Hmmm", Severus said agreeably, brushing his hair out of his face with the hand that wasn't holding Harry.
„You're sort of adorable", Harry told him, glancing up at his face with a smitten look.
Severus raised an eyebrow at him. „I am not", he protested indignantly, but feeling flattered that he was able to inspire such an expression in another person. Albeit an undoubtedly confused person.
„Oh, but you are", Harry went on, smiling. „There really is no point arguing with me, my opinion is formed. Also, I made you tea."
Severus sighed and wriggled to sit up against the headboard, locating the tea on the bedside table. He took a sip, regarding Harry, whose head was now resting on a pillow next to Severus' hip. He wondered if this rose-coloured version of Harry was there to stay. He wasn't sure wether he could deal with the sheer sweetness.
Harry looked back up at him.
„I think it must be years ago that I have slept this well", Severus mused.
Harry grinned.
They rested in silence while Severus sipped more of his tea.
Harry crossed his arms behind his head. „I am a little curious... how come you had condoms and lube? And... um... why?"
Severus cleared his throat. „Well... I had condoms and lube because I got them on the shopping trip with Molly Weasley. I... uh... bought them from the Muggle shop we stopped at. I don't think she noticed what it was that I went back in for." Severus coloured a little.
„Why?", Harry insisted.
„Because a part of me", Severus rolled his eyes, „decided that I should go and have sex again. I didn't really dare to think it would happen with you, but..." He sighed. „Homosexuality is... not something the wizarding community talks about much. It's not frowned upon, exactly, it's just kind of politely ignored. It's a lot easier in the Muggle world, there are places you can go and meet... people..."
„To have sex with", Harry clarified.
„Yes", Severus agreed. „And safe sex is a rather important thing. Not only with Muggles, I might add, but because of Muggle men I got used to using condoms. It's a lot less complicated than the magical protection one would otherwise have to use. And also less complicated and embarrassing than having to go somewhere to have an STD treated."
„I see", Harry said. „So have you slept only with Muggles?"
Severus raised an eyebrow. „No, not only... but mostly. It was simplest that way. Being a Death Eater and all that." He gave a pained smirk.
„So my mother..."
„Oh well, your mother...", Severus sighed even more deeply and closed his eyes. „She was my one great friend. And I loved her with all my heart. Still love her. Always will love her." He paused, opening his eyes again, staring into empty space. „It took me a good while to realise I wasn't romantically – or sexually – interested in her. She was my family and I wanted to never lose her, because she was the one good thing in my life..." Severus hastily wiped his eyes. „Funny thing was, I kind of developped a little crush on your father. That's when I first became aware of the fact that I was attracted to men. And then James not only behaved like a giant arsehole but also stole Lily from me..."
Harry looked at him, slack-jawed. „Well, fuck", he finally pronounced.
„I am so sorry for how I've treated you...", Severus whispered into his tea. „It really wasn't your fault. I just... I am a very... screwed-up man."
Harry sat up quickly. „If I had known that, I would never have hated you. I would never have defended my father."
„No, I suppose you wouldn't have", Severus said slowly, searching Harry's face. „But it is probably a good thing that you grew up thinking highly of both your parents. It was likely a very important source of strength to you." His mouth twisted into a pained smile as he thought of his own parents.
Harry nodded slowly.
„Let's not talk about this anymore", Severus said firmly, setting down his teacup. „I am really not comfortable talking about... well, any kind of emotional stuff, really", he finished dryly.
„Alright", Harry chuckled readily, moving to straddle Severus' thighs and kiss him. „Just tell me one more thing. Was Dumbledore, Albus, I mean, ..."
„Oh yes. Gay as a picnic basket", Severus nodded solemnly.
Harry giggled.

Ron had contacted Harry via their three-way-parchment to tell him an owl was on its way to reach the old lighthouse around midday to deliver mail to them. Severus had borrowed the invisibility cloak and gone to meet it. Harry had stayed behind as Severus insisted it would be safer if just one of them went under the cloak as the mail was to be collected in a location they had used before.
Harry was sitting at the kitchen table, peeling apples to make preserves according to an old cookbook he had found, when Severus breezed in with tousled hair and a smile on his face. He stopped, regarding Harry with an amused look. „Why, Mr. Potter, haven't you gone all domestic", he teased.
„Why, Mr. Snape", Harry retorted, „if you had started out by locking me in a lonely cottage with a cookbook and a stacked larder, we would have gotten to this point far earlier."
Severus laughed loudly.
„You're in a good mood", Harry grinned.
„Well, I am having an excellent day", Severus pointed out, „I woke up next to a beautiful and naked young man who made me tea, I went for a walk along the coast, and... I brought home the latest newspaper editions!" He triumphantly planted the rolled-up papers on the table between the apple peelings. „Also, there are some letters", he added.
„Brilliant", Harry smiled, „So we finally hear more news!"
„Yes", Severus nodded, „and I get to read the new Potions monthly."
Harry laughed and reached for the thickest of the letters, breaking the seal. „It's from the Burrow", he said happily. There were several pieces of parchment in the envelope. „This one is addressed to you", he said, passing a folded sheet to Severus, who had sat down, vanishing apple peelings from the chair.
„Ron and and Hermione want to visit", Harry announced after a few minutes of silence.
„Hmm", Severus mumbled, engrossed. „Sorry, what did you say?"
Harry frowned. „Ron and Hermione are coming to visit. Apparently they need a change of scenery. I think Mrs. Weasley might be trying to get Ron out of the way... Is something wrong?", he indicated Severus' letter.
„Uh, yes, I suppose so... Draco wrote to me."
„Oh shit", Harry said, closing his eyes. „I wasn't sure if and how to tell you, and then I got distracted..."
Severus looked at him with a stony expression on his face.
„I am sorry", Harry said in a small voice.
„Yes", Severus ground out. „I need to be alone. In the garden."
Harry watched him leave with some concern, but returned to reading his letters.

Harry spent his afternoon finishing the preserves, from time to time glancing out into the garden where he could just make out Severus' dark shape sitting on a bench, half-obscured by some bushes. He felt uneasy, thinking about the roles his parents had played in Severus' life, about all the horrible things that he knew the man had gone through, and about all the horrible things that he didn't know about. And now Malfoy's parents had died. They must have been important to Severus in some way, they had chosen him as a godfather for Draco, after all... He contemplated how inconvenient it was that Severus didn't like talking about ‚emotional stuff'. Not that Harry felt particularly enthusiastic discussing feelings and emotions, he felt he didn't understand even half of them, although he had started thinking about them a lot more of late. Often enough he would struggle even naming them, because there didn't seem to be many fitting words. But Hermione, with a look of concern on her face that still haunted Harry sometimes, had made it very clear that talking about feelings was both possible and necessary, and for the first time Harry could see why she might have been so insistent. It was worrying to watch someone getting wrapped up in the confusing ‚emotional stuff' they clearly had going on. Maybe he had been a bit like that for the last few weeks... He snorted. ‚Emotional stuff', indeed. Severus' choice of words sounded much more like something Ron would say... Which brought his thoughts back to Hermione. She could probably make sense of this as well as know what to do...
Since she wasn't immediately available Harry proceeded to leave Severus in peace, maybe this would just go away by itself. He started to make dinner, boiling potatoes and carrots, rifling through the cookbook to find a recipe for a sauce that might make things more interesting. By now he was worried Severus was cross with him for not immediately telling him about the death of Draco's parents.

Dinner was a lot more quiet than it had been the days before. Severus was deep in his thoughts, hardly noticing what he was eating. After desert, apple preserve with vanilla pudding, they sat in the living room, each man reading in an armchair in front of the fire. Finally, Harry put down his book.
„Are you angry at me?", he asked.
Severus looked up. „No", he said slowly.
Harry frowned. „What's going on with you?", he asked.
Severus regarded him steadily. „Ghosts of the past", he finally said. Getting up, he added „I think I am going to bed. Good night, Harry."
Harry stared after him. „Bloody fuckin' hell", he muttered at Severus' empty chair.

Harry brushed his teeth rather harder than necessary. His worry and confusion had morphed into anger at Severus for being so distant while right in front of him. He knew he had acted this way himself in the past, when he just felt he couldn't talk to anyone, and he supposed Severus had a right to it. But Harry very inconveniently had started to worry that Severus might pull back from him now, maybe decide he didn't want anything to do with Harry any more and instead look for someone... better in any way. Someone older, more experienced, perhaps... Maybe a Muggle man that he could just have sex with and then leave, to go rot, thinking of his horrendous, painful past... Harry was dimly aware that his own thoughts were probably running away with him, maybe they were a little exaggerated. But mostly he understood that Hermione had been right, he was falling in love, fast and hard, and the thought of Severus leaving made him lose his mind a little bit. He had never felt like this about anyone before, he realised. Not even Ginny. He felt so... connected to Severus. And at the same time he felt so much more unhinged because of Severus. This couldn't be normal, could it? He stared at his face in the mirror, pale, pissed off, hair sticking up in every direction like his thoughts... He picked up a brush and tried reigning them in. Yes, he was bound to be a bit unbalanced after the war, after losing so many people he cared about. That would make things worse. Wouldn't it? His gaze fell to the extensive hickeys on his neck. He angrily brushed his hair as he acknowledged that reason had taken the night off, and he was left to stew in his emotions for the time being. Hair still on end and quietly fuming he slammed both the bathroom door and the door to his room and dropped on his bed face first, burying his head under the pillow.
He missed the quiet creaking of the door, but did hear the floorboards next to his bed squeak. He looked up from under his pillow. Severus loomed over him in the dark, features indiscernible. Harry turned on his back, glaring at him.
„Harry?", Severus asked, uncertainty in his voice.
„What", Harry hissed aggressively.
Severus took a step back as if to leave.
„Oh no, you don't", Harry growled, swiftly grabbing his wand from the bedside table and waving it, tying Severus' legs. The man fell forward and caught himself on the bed, a shocked expression just visible.
„I wasn't going to leave", Severus intoned.
Harry, who had felt himself briefly calm down after binding Severus, sensed his temper flare up again. „And how was I supposed to know that?", he hissed angrily, voice growing louder steadily as he got off the bed. „You say you're not mad at me, and that is supposed to be enough? That doesn't mean you won't leave me here, alone, fucking pining for you, you evil heart-stealing man!", he all but shouted.
Severus sat down on the bed, looking thunder-struck.
„Leaving you pining?", he said weakliy.
Harry swished his wand angrily in response.
Severus was crushed into the matress and his arms forced up to be magically tied to the bedposts. He took a couple of deep shuddering breaths. „Are you going to gag me, too?", he asked, not so much mocking as enquiring, with a hint of worry in his voice.
Harry stared down at him with an odd sense of calm. He breathed out. „No", he answered.
Eyes glittering, Severus watched him, relaxing into the pillow under his head.
„No", Harry repeated, climbing onto the bed and crawling up to straddle Severus' lap. The corners of Severus' mouth curved up ever so slightly as Harry bent forward. He could feel a growing bulge in Severus' pyjama pants. „I am not going to gag you, because then I couldn't kiss you", he clarified, inches away from Severus' mouth.
The man regarded him steadily, waiting.
„I like being the one in control", Harry went on, sounding a little surprised.
„Who doesn't", Severus remarked laconically. „I ... don't mind being under your control, Harry", he then added, voice a little shaky.
„No, I can feel just how much you don't mind", Harry smirked, but scooted his hips lower so his own erection was rubbing against Severus'.
„I don't think I would be able to just leave you, Harry", Severus said a little distractedly. „Tied up or not, I think I... um... I am too far... gone by now?"
Harry snorted. „That's the words you choose?", he asked incredulously, leaning over to switch on the beside light. „You realise you sound like Ron, don't you?"
Severus blinked. „If eloquence is what you want from me I suggest you try getting off my lap and and untying me..."
Harry narrowed his eyes at Severus as he shifted his hips in order to cause some more friction. „Your eloquence is just fine as long as you don't touch on the ‚emotional stuff'", he suggested on a whim and only just caught the flicker in Severus's eyes that told him he had hit on something. He stared at the man underneath him.
Severus sighed and bit his lower lip, eyes fixed on Harry's mouth. Harry leaned in, brushing his lips against Severus' mouth, finally making the man strain against the bindings in order to catch Harry's lips. Drawing back with a sly smile, Harry waved his wand, vanishing Severus' pyjamas completely, tilting his head as he took in the bound naked man on his bed. Something in his chest purred with satisfaction. He ran his hands over Severus' chest, stomach and abdomen, finally resting them on his thighs. Drawing a deep breath, he leaned forward, resting his slightly stubbly chin on Severus' sternum to very slowly scratch his way downwards, eyes never leaving the other man's face.
Severus held his stare as Harry nosed his balls and let his tongue trail up the shaft of his penis.
Harry broke the eye contact as he tilted his head to take Severus' dick in his mouth.
Severus inhaled sharply.
Harry started experimenting, trying to remember what Severus had done when they'd been in the shower. He wasn't doing too badly, judging by the low panting sounds above his head. Looking up, he saw Severus' head arching back, exposing his throat. Harry stopped thinking entirely.
Severus made a helpless little sound that set Harry's cock on fire.
„Oh shit, stop, stop, stop", Severus moaned in a voice that left Harry doubtful wether he meant it, but then he insisted. „Stop it, Harry, I'm going to come..."
Harry released him, frowning. Severus panted heavily. „I am not a young man anymore...", he pointed out. „It might take a while for me to recover, and depending on what your plans are..."
„My plans?", Harry asked, sliding upwards. „I don't have plans. I don't know what I am doing here." Severus laughed breathlessly, but stopped as soon as Harry started kissing him. Reaching for his wand, Harry summoned the lube from Severus room. The awkward way he was prying the lid off the tube made the liquid squirt out with a splat, landing cold and wet on Severus' chest, making the man shiver. Harry hesitated only a few seconds, then lathered his hand with it and started lubing and stretching himself. It felt weird, he had never really done this before, apart from a couple of very short experiments in the shower. And now he even had an audience that he had tied to his bed and unclothed himself... if he thought about this any more closely he would lose his nerve, he knew it. He forced his thoughts to the back of his mind, concentrating on feeling the body underneath his own, and his fingers inside of him. Severus hissed, apparently fed up with the ties on his wrists as he watched Harry fingerfucking himself. Panting down on Severus Harry summoned a condom. Turning around he busied himself putting it on Severus' leaking cock. Task accomplished, Harry turned around with a triumphant grin.
„First time putting a condom on?", Severus murmured.
„Sort of", Harry admitted, preventing any further conversation by kissing Severus while he guided the man's dick into his entrance. He flinched a little with the sudden pressure, slowing down. Severus watched him, mesmerised, as Harry sunk down on his shaft. Starting to move slowly, Harry took a while to adjust his angle and rhythm. Finding his bearings, he started to ride Severus in earnest, making the man breathe harder and thrust upwards to meet him.
„Oh", Harry exclaimed in surprise as Severus' cock met his prostate.
Severus gasped as Harry's movements became faster and a little more erratic. „Fuck, Harry, slow down, slow... fuck... Harry..." Severus bucked under him as he came with a strangled cry.
Harry fell forwards, grabbing his own dick. It took him hardly any time to reach orgasm, spurting over Severus' chest and stomach. „That... was kind of quick...", he panted.
Still breathing fast, Harry rolled off Severus, nearly falling off the bed.
„Will you untie me now?", Severus enquired, raising an eyebrow. „So I can keep you from falling off this tiny bed?"
Harry complied.
Severus rubbed at the weals on his wrists. „Somehow I would not have put you down as..."
„Kinky?", Harry supplied. „Well, look what you bring out in me..." He stretched and closed his eyes.
„Hm", Severus uttered. „I hadn't thought of myself as kinky, exactly. And I wouldn't have thought I would ever let anybody tie me up like that and enjoy it." He glanced sideways at Harry. „Look what you bring out in me", he echoed worriedly.
Harry yawned deeply.
„Well, I suppose I should have known you would be adventurous even without any clue about what you are doing, since that has been your thing for the longest time", Severus mumbled, as he turned, pulling a half-asleep Harry up against his back. „Good thing I am here with you", he whispered to himself, half-jokingly.
„I agree", Harry murmured into his neck. „Now go to sleep, old man."
Severus smirked and did as he was told.