Everything exploded on day ten.
It began suspiciously well. Steve had breakfast with Thor.
"Steven!" Thor said between bites of Pop-Tarts. "I must tell you about a television programme I discovered yesterday! Have you ever been shopping for a wedding dress?"
"No, can't say I have."
"It's fascinating."
"Tell me more."
Thor spoke for fifteen minutes about "Say Yes to the Dress." Steve laughed. The same sense of wonder he saw in his students was reflected almost perfectly in Thor. So many people lost that, or had it burned out of them. It was nice to have a friend who still had stars in his eyes. Then Pepper came in for a surprising reveal. She sat on the third barstool and said,
"I'm leaving today."
"What?" asked Steve. "What for?"
"Work." Pepper admitted, "I was here as support for Anthony, but he has you for that, now."
Steve blushed.
"He is certainly something."
Thor hopped off the barstool to hug Pepper.
"You will be missed, Miss Potts!"
"Thank you." Pepper patted him on the back. "It's time, though. I told Anthony yesterday and he is delighted not to have his ex hanging around."
"His gain is our loss," said Steve. "You are phenomenal."
"Well, the company does need me."
"Anthony said he was your boss, at one point."
"He still is. Kept that title, just dropped boyfriend."
"Well I am sorry to see you go."
.oOo.
"Steve, I believe we need to have a conversation."
He sat on the sofa and stared at the glowing blue screen in front of him.
"You're right, Peggy."
"Are we at the same place?"
"I believe we are."
Peggy sighed in relief and admitted, "That's good. It makes this easier."
"It does."
"First, I want to say that I adore you. I think you are understanding, loyal, and intelligent. I love that you decided to become a teacher and that you enjoy art. However, I believe it is time for us to end whatever it is we've been pursuing."
"Thank you for saying that, Peggy. I agree, this is the end of our road together. Though, you have been such a fascinating person to talk to. I do hope to count you among my friends, because there is something about you I can't quite name ..."
"Yes!" Peggy agreed. "As if we had met sometime in the past, things would have been different. Ten years ago, we would have been perfect for each other."
"We would have fallen right in step."
"Travelled the same path."
"But we didn't meet until now and our lives are too different from where they should be for us to end up happy together."
"I know, and Anthony is besotted, Steve. You should see him when he speaks about you. It is like he never truly believed someone could love him, and now there is a possibility you could. I think you will."
Steve laughed.
"I am not a gambling man, Miss Carter, but even I would place my bets on your side. Thor is completely captivated by you, by the way."
"Truly?"
Steve could almost hear Peggy's grin.
"Truthfully."
"That is wonderful to hear. He brings me such joy, and the promise of adventure. My life needs such a different direction and he pulls me in the most unexpected directions."
Steve assured her, "He's like that with everyone. Thor is a man who holds himself like a prince, but does not think of anyone else as lesser than him. Just, what did he call it? I think he said 'differently-titled.' He's great, and he deserves a woman as phenomenal as you, Peggy."
"Anthony deserves you, Steve. There may be a day when you think otherwise, but everything he has done came from his heart. He cares so much for others that sometimes he forgets to see value in himself. You remind him what's there."
.oOo.
Steve always smiled when he was with Anthony. They had an effortless camaraderie, which only made him more attractive. They spoke for an hour before Anthony said,
"You've been so open with me, Steve, and I want you to know I appreciate that. I feel like I know you even though there's this distance between us."
"I feel exactly the same."
"I told you about my previous relationships and why they ended, but I think I need to tell you how I dealt with it. Because it's something I don't talk about, but you need to know before you decide who it is that you want."
Steve knew Anthony was the one. Peggy was amazing, but so was Anthony. Steve felt closer to Anthony every time he walked into Door #4, while each visit pushed him a bit further away from Peggy.
"Tell me, then."
"It started so small. I was probably sixteen and everyone expected me to be an incredibly outgoing, fun, parties all night type of guy." Anthony swallowed thickly before admitting, "It's hard, sometimes, to be on. Half the time it's like a performance, like switching off different parts of myself to make 'Anthony' more palatable. It became easier with alcohol."
Steve nodded.
"How much alcohol?"
"Not a lot at first, just enough to ease the anxiety of performing the role. Then it became one bottle in a day a few times a week. Then it was one bottle of wine with drugs to prevent blacking out. But it wasn't so horrible. I'd gone to AA when I was nineteen and it worked because I wanted it to. I felt like such a disappointment in every other area of my life that if I could take control of this one thing, then the rest of everything would fall into place."
Steve guessed, "It didn't?"
"My parents died and I turned to alcohol to cope. It dulled the pain; didn't make it go away but made it manageable. Losing my mom left a hole inside of me, and alcohol filled it for awhile. I'd piss it away, feel empty again, and refill. That's how Ty was able to nearly con me out of everything. I hated myself, felt like I had failed as a son, as an inventor, and yet everyone still expected me to be on. Alcohol was the only way I could even smile."
"You seem to live a lot of your life for other people."
"Because there's no value in Anthony! It's all in my inventions, those help people. I don't help people, hell, I have three friends and two of them work for me! Nobody looks at me and sees a person; they see an inventor or a socialite or an easy piece of ass, because being bisexual comes with its own set of image issues. I've had people call me a whore to my face, and that's nowhere near the worst I've heard. But through all that, nobody looks at me and sees Anthony."
Wow.
It hurt to hear that. Steve always had Bucky, always. That's why Steve risked everything to find him; he leaned on Bucky and Bucky leaned on him. It never occurred to Steve what life could be like without a friend or family to lean on.
Anthony begged, "Could you say something, please? Anything."
"Are you afraid I will think negatively of you for this?"
"How could you not?"
"Because everyone has been where you are right now, in some way. That dark place in your head is where we all go when we believe the monsters we face are too powerful or too plentiful. You felt alone, Anthony, and I won't judge you for searching for a way to feel like a version of yourself who is stronger than you feel. I promise, from the moment you stepped into this with me, you have not been alone."
Anthony was quiet for awhile, and that put Steve on edge. Anthony was many things, but quiet almost never factored into that description. Eventually he said,
"You say the nicest things, Steve. I have a difficult time understanding how you see any of this in me."
"We all have to live in the real world, and it can be grim. But it is the dream, the hope, that makes life worth living. If there is one thing I have learned about you, it's that you dream big which is why you put your hope in the future. There is something special about you, and maybe I see it because for so long I didn't know what my future looked like."
"What does it look like now?"
"You."
"You're so fucking sappy, Steve, and I love it."
"That's good." Steve smiled. "I like that you're confident enough in me to be this vulnerable, even in front of all these cameras."
"It helps to know that I might not have to keep paddling this canoe on my own."
"Like I said, Anthony, I trust you."
.oOo.
"Lady Margaret!"
Thor was always excited to walk into the love capsule knowing Margaret was on the other side. The trouble with Sif and Jane had been the distance that began to grow between them as the relationship progressed. This initial distance from Margaret only served to bring the two of them closer together. As much as he liked Steven, Thor hoped he was what Margaret saw in her future.
"Hello, darling. How are you today?"
"Delighted to be in your presence, as always."
Peggy laughed.
"I have a question for you to answer. I want you to answer honestly."
Thor insisted, "I would never lie to you."
"I believe you. Tell me, then, do you believe I would make a good queen?"
"Without question."
"You answered rather quickly," Peggy replied, skeptical.
"My mother is a great queen. She is never afraid to share her opinions or counsel with my father, and she has always been a better parent than my father. My mother is independent of my father when she chooses to be, but they work together as a team. The people of Asgard look to them as a unit, they agree to be led by them because it is clear their heart is filled with Asgard's best interests. I believe we could be a great team, Lady Margaret. I believe you will be a good mother and a great queen because you constantly seek out justice. You believe in fairness, in righting wrongs, and you have done nothing but help me see the best parts of myself over these past ten days."
"I love hearing you say that, but I am an outsider, am I not? Could your country possibly accept me?"
"Absolutely," replied Thor. "Asgard is not a place, it is a People. Asgard welcomes people of sound heart regardless of their origin. You helped style Lady Darcy the first time she met my brother. You rescued Samuel from despair yesterday. Margaret, you are nothing short of exceptional and I have every confidence my people will see that."
"You always manage to say things in a way that makes me believe them."
"I have always found the truth easy to say."
"I'm a lawyer, so I wish there were more people like you."
Thor chuckled.
"Wouldn't you be out of a job if there were?"
"Fair point. Besides, I would quite like to keep you to myself."
"As I would you, but the matter of Steven still remains between us."
Peggy asked, "What if I said it doesn't?"
"I do not understand."
"Steve and I ended our pod experience this morning. He agreed that both our hearts lie elsewhere, and mine is with you."
"YES!" Thor stood up and pumped both fists in the air. "YES! This is the best news! There is no higher honor I could accept than being chosen by you, Lady Margaret."
"One day I will get you to call me Peggy."
"Perhaps one day I will get to call you queen."
Peggy laughed and admitted, "I quite like the sound of that."
"I would like nothing more than to see you."
"Tomorrow, perhaps?"
"Tomorrow." Thor agreed. "I look forward to it."
.oOo.
It was tough to say goodbye to Pepper that afternoon. She had become a good friend, and even the production assistants had mourned the loss. Evidently the spreadsheets she made were incredibly helpful. One of them let slip she even outlined some of the couples' thru-lines for the edits.
She only brought a suitcase and a briefcase.
"You packed light."
Pepper revealed, "I hadn't anticipated I would stay this long. I'm only leaving because I trust you with Anthony's best interests."
"I appreciate that."
Steve rolled Pepper's suitcase over to the elevator. As he pulled it to a stop, he noticed the logo on the top pocket.
Stark Industries.
Steve smiled and tried not to jump to conclusions, even as his heart dropped into his stomach. It couldn't be. How could he have been so blind? Of course things weren't adding up, of course Anthony had been holding back. Steve swallowed the betrayal and hugged Pepper goodbye. She promised to keep in touch. That was, she said, if Steve could bring himself to send a text. As soon as the elevator doors closed behind her, Steve made his way to Bucky's bedroom and leaned against the doorframe.
"Hey, Buck."
Bucky grinned and leaned back against the pillows.
"Stevie."
"You seem to be in a good mood."
"Sam told me about his ex today."
Steve frowned.
"That put you in a good mood?"
"It did. We got very personal and, for the first time in so long, I didn't regret it."
"That's great, Buck." Steve insisted, "I'm happy for you."
"We might make a decision in the next day or two about whether we're gonna meet. I don't even know what the hell I'd wear. And he knows about the arm, but what if it's different when he sees it?"
"I don't think Sam would say anything he didn't mean."
"He's like you in that way." Bucky laughed. "He's a lot like you. A good person, committed, a bit reckless at times but it's always earnest. And he irritates the hell outta me."
Steve nodded.
"I have a question for you."
"Yeah?"
"How many forty-seven-year-old inventors named Anthony do you know?"
The color started to drain from Bucky's face. He lept up from the bed and said,
"Steve."
"How many?"
"One." Bucky repeated, "I only know one."
"So you knew?"
"Yes."
"The whole time?"
Bucky nodded and confirmed, "Yes."
Steve turned away.
"Steve." Bucky chased after him. "Steve!"
"No, Bucky!" Steve turned around and shouted, "We said, we're together to the end of the line. That means we help each other, that's the only reason I'm here! And you knew the whole time that the one thing I hated was living life in front of cameras. And you knew I was falling in love with one of the most photographed men in the world!"
Bucky's jaw dropped.
"You're in love with him?"
Steve groaned, "You are missing the point."
"No," Bucky replied, "You are making my point! If you knew, Steve, you never would have given him a chance. But you have seen him in a way nobody ever has precisely because you are Steve Rogers and you don't judge people for how clean their life is. You see people for their hearts, and you saw Tony for his."
"Did I?" asked Steve. "Because it seems like he left out a pertinent bit of information."
"His name's not pertinent."
"That fact that he is a billionaire is important. He is the reason you have a workable prosthetic, and that is important! My life is comfortable the way it is, and Anthony-Tony-is a tsunami of press, events, and everything I don't want to be anymore."
"You want to be a husband. The reason it didn't work with us is because we didn't want to spend life together like that. We both know that you absolutely want to spend life with Anthony exactly like that. Why is Tony any different?"
"Because Anthony didn't lie to me!"
Bucky's face fell.
"Steve-"
"I need some space."
.oOo.
Tony walked into the pod on day eleven, nothing short of elated. Peggy said Steve had ended things with her, so Tony had been chosen. Not for his money or his mind, but for his heart. God, it was unbelievable. Steve Rogers had found something redeemable inside of him. It was better than he could have possibly imagined.
He sat on the sofa, prepared to ask Steve the question. Do you want to meet me? He had no idea what sort of reaction Steve would have to the reveal, but Tony had to try. Steve was worth the risk of getting his heart broken again. Peggy and Thor planned their reveal for day eleven, Sam would probably meet Barnes on day twelve, so perhaps Tony could push it off to the thirteenth day. Then he and Steve could have a day to themselves.
Tony's heart jumped up into his throat when he heard the door open on the other side. He listened to it close and couldn't keep the smile off his face.
"Hey, Steve!"
No response. It was a bit odd; Steve always replied. Steve was a morning person. Steve should be happy since their last date had gone so well. Right?
"Steve, is everything okay?"
"No, Tony, it's not."
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
He knew. Steve had found out somehow; it didn't matter how. Steve knew Anthony was only one part of Tony Stark. Tony thought of all the things he'd told Steve, all the kind things Steve had said about the sort of person he believed Tony to be.
No, the sort of person he believed Anthony to be.
Tony stuttered out, "How-how?"
"Not from you."
"I was going to tell you."
"I trusted you, Tony. I told you things I haven't even told Bucky, only to find out you're not who you said you were."
"No, Steve, I promise I am exactly who I told you I was. Yes, my name was a technicality but-"
"It was deceptive, Tony, and there's no way you can get around it. You did not trust me to look at you fairly; you took that choice from my hands. You made that decision for us, and the first thing I would look for in a partner, especially in a husband, is trust. How the hell can I see that in you now?"
"I never lied to you."
"I gave a hundred percent and you gave seventy-five."
"That is not true."
"How can I believe you when you say that? How can I know you aren't hiding something else from me?"
"Because I am telling you that I never hid anything."
"Your word is no good to me, now."
"No, Steve!" Tony heard the door open on the other side and shouted, "Steve, don't leave!"
The door slammed shut and Tony dug his fingernails into the couch cushion.
"STEVE!"