A/N: Part 2.
Sorry Kou.
KATOU KOUSHIRO
He heard a horrific crunch of cartilage - warm liquid ran down his lips, chin, and neck at once. Dizzying pain made his head spin. Koushiro cried out in instinct, bringing his hands up to cup his broken nose. He suddenly couldn't see Shiori right in front of him through blurred, watery eyes. Hikari yelled something, but he couldn't hear her.
Blood leaked through his fingers. Shiori had hurt him, really hurt him this time. Clearly he had become bored of taunts and black eyes - he wanted to see Koushiro bleed. Koushiro was terrified of what else he would do, how far he would go. Through his clouded vision, Koushiro saw Shiori shift slightly, as though preparing to strike again. Terror seized his heart.
Then Hikari was at his side. He heard an incantation and felt the warmth of spellfire against the side of his face. Shiori was hit so hard by Hikari's spell he stumbled backward, releasing Koushiro at once. His legs wobbly from pain, Koushiro tried to collapse, but Hikari seized him around the torso before his legs gave way.
Koushiro froze. To say he had never been in such a position was an understatement. He was bleeding, both hands cupped around a broken nose, and a schoolmate he barely knew had embraced him. His body went tense and he edged away from her, his discomfort obvious, but her hold was too firm. Koushiro wanted to shout at her. It was bad enough that Shiori laid his hands on him, but why couldn't he teach either of the Yagami siblings how much he disliked being touched?
Shiori had managed to stay on his feet. His uniform disheveled, he stared at the two of them - Hikari's undeniable support, Koushiro's bleeding face. "You're defending him? Do you know who he is - what he is? He doesn't have enough worth to even look at you!"
"He's my friend," Hikari said, sounding confused but furious.
Koushiro wanted to protest, but he knew when to keep his mouth shut. And there was yet another thing he disliked about the siblings, their tendency to take him in as their own without a second thought. Perhaps he should have some say in the relationships, these acquaintances he didn't even want around him. Didn't he get some say in the relationships?
"He's a Mudblood," Shiori hissed.
Koushiro heard a sharp intake of breath. "Don't you dare call him that," she growled in a voice quite unlike her own.
"You're the princess! How can you let him insult us like this?"
"You're the one I'm ashamed of," she snapped. "I'm sorry we even share the same blood status at this point. This isn't what purebloods represent. This isn't what Kakasu represents."
"Then I'm sorry he got to you," he sneered. "I see the royal family is a bunch of filthy Mudblood sympathizers, but I knew that when your idiot brother let that other Mudblood on our team. Don't think I'm going to forget this, princess."
Normally, when Shiori ended his bullying he promised Koushiro there would be more where that came from if he didn't leave Kakasu soon, or that he was feeling generous today and didn't smack him around as much as he usually did, or some other empty threat. This time, he had found himself outnumbered, disheveled, and jinxed, and his opposition had immunity, being the princess. He stalked off, fists clenched and expression murderous.
As soon as Shiori was gone, Koushiro wrenched himself from her grip and turned away, still clutching his nose. The center of his face was on fire. It hurt to even grimace. Finally, he allowed himself to collapse on the floor of the balcony; his legs simply folded under him. "Oh, Koushiro, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" Hikari cried. Despite his efforts to get away from her, she walked around and knelt in front of him. He couldn't see her face, as his eyes were squeezed shut. "Please, let me see. I think I can fix your nose. I know some Healing, my fia - I mean, Jyou-senpai has taught me some, I can help!"
He pulled away, shaking his head. His eyes opened.
He didn't understand her expression. Her fierce eyes were gone. Tears streaked her face, tears for him. No one had ever cried for him before. He wanted to scoot back, but Hikari reached for his wrists and gently grasped them. More tears fell down her cheeks when he refused her. "Oh, I know, I'm sorry it hurts, gods what an ass - when I tell onii-san about this -"
"Don't," he tried to say, but it came out as a grunt of pain.
"Kou, just let me -"
She reached for him again, but he flinched back out of instinct.
When he hurt, there had been no one to wave a magic wand and take his pain away. No one so much as comforted him when he was growing up. He had learned to deal with everything on his own, and a broken nose was no different. He couldn't let her touch him, even though he could see in her face how badly she wanted to help him. She swallowed hard. "Do you know the spell to heal your nose?"
Koushiro froze. Blood dripping down his chin, he was suddenly unaware of the sharp ache in the center of his face as a voice from his past arose, frustrated and short. What do you mean you don't know this? Useless!
He was struck with the strange urge to both insist he knew the spell and deny it at the same time. She could not know he didn't have the knowledge; she wouldn't want him around anymore. Somehow, impossibly, Hikari figured out his fear. A frown creased between her delicate brows. "Koushiro-san. It's okay to admit you don't know something. We're not gonna cast you away just because you lack one piece of knowledge. I know the incantation, all right? I can help."
She gestured for Koushiro to drop his hands from his face. His fingers twitched, but he didn't move. "Why?" he burst out, his pain and humiliation taking over his tongue.
Hikari blinked. She froze, confused, her wand raised. "Huh? Why what?"
"Why do you want to help me?" His voice had sharpened to a razor edge, though his words were muddied by his clogged and broken nose. "I've always had to do everything on my own, so why is it that when I came to this school, everyone is suddenly so eager to help me?"
Something shifted in her expression. Her golden eyes glistened and her brows pressed down. She dropped her hands. "Oh, Koushiro-san," she mumbled. More tears leaked down her cheeks. Koushiro flinched back as his anger drained away. He was suddenly ashamed of himself. Had his tone made her cry? "We want to help because we're your friends. Please, just let me see your nose, okay?"
Koushiro could not remember the last time he accepted help from anyone. He had also never made anyone cry. But her explanation made no sense, and it irritated him that someone he had spent so little time with already considered him a friend. He barely knew Hikari.
Still, he wanted his nose to stop hurting. After a moment's deliberation, he reasoned that the premise of owing Hikari for helping him wasn't as bad as trying to look up and learn a spell through a broken nose. He would just have to figure out what she would want from him after this encounter. He hated owing people.
Koushiro lowered his hands.
With a great sniff, she pointed her wand at his face. He tried not to look at it cross-eyed and closed his eyes instead. "Episkey," she said tearfully.
The spell took hold at once. The center of his face felt very warm, as though poured over hot water. Koushiro felt cartilage shift and rearrange itself, knitting together and mending back into a structure resembling a nose. It was a very odd feeling. After a moment the pain faded. The tension in his shoulders lessened and he fought to rearrange his expression.
He opened his eyes as Hikari lowered her wand. Very gingerly, Koushiro touched his nose. It responded with a dull ache and his fingers came away sticky with blood, but the break had been healed. True to her word, she had known the spell, and Koushiro's face was intact. More or less.
Something close to guilt prodded at him. Taichi had asked so many times to aid him whenever he saw the aftermath of Shiori's bullying. Perhaps the Yagamis did know the occasional spell. He took a breath and remembered his manners. "Thank you," Koushiro said.
His eyes slid from her face. Humiliation replaced his guilt when he realized Hikari now knew the secret he had been trying to hide from the club, that Taichi's star Quidditch player, Shiori, had been the one tormenting Koushiro. He never should have agreed to meet Hikari in the high school building. The revelation would reach Taichi and the others; his sister wasn't exactly subtle. She and her brother were the last people Koushiro wanted aware of the situation.
Hikari looked very pale, almost sickly, but her lips were drawn back in a snarl that reminded him of her brother the day they fought the sagasu together. She kept running her eyes over him as though checking for any other sign of injury. Her voice sharpened to an edge. "That absolute - I cannot believe he would - when I tell onii-san about this -"
"Please don't," Koushiro said quietly.
She blinked. Her head tilted to the side. "What? You don't want me to tell my brother? Of course I'm going to tell Taichi. Why the hell wouldn't I?"
Koushiro was silent for a long time as he worked through his thoughts. Hikari drew a handkerchief from her bag, Charmed it with a wave of her wand until it was damp, and raised it toward his face. He flinched back on instinct.
She hesitated and bit her lip. "Koushiro, I want to help, but…I guess I should ask first? Is it okay if I touch you? You've got blood everywhere…"
He wanted to snap that a princess likely knew very little about Cleaning Charms, that he had handled things like this on his own for as long as he could remember. She had even implied she would tell people about this incident. The thought sent his instincts screaming at him to cut ties with her.
He had never been able to read people very well. More than once, Taichi and Sora had left him baffled and it was Yamato who translated their intentions for him. The Seiryu noticed social cues that Koushiro overlooked. Something told him Hikari's desire to help him was sincere. He felt strangely safe with her, and she had just helped him with Shiori - even if she had been the reason this particular fight had been so brutal. "It's fine," he muttered.
Hikari breathed a sigh of relief. She wore a gentle smile as she scooted closer and carefully cleaned the blood from his face.
But he couldn't have her running off to tell Taichi what had happened here. Koushiro chose his words carefully. "Shiori-san is on Taichi-san's Quidditch team," he said at last.
"Yeaaaah?" Hikari frowned. She cleaned the cloth with an irritated flick of her wand and dabbed at his chin. "He's still a dick."
"So I don't want Taichi-san to have to choose between me and Shiori-san. I know who he will choose. He won't put his team in danger for someone he met only weeks ago."
Hikari stared at him for so long he wasn't sure if she understood him.
"So please don't mention this to him," he continued. "I don't want to put him in that position."
Her shoulders pinched inward. She dropped the cloth, her body slumped in a defeated sort of way, and then her hands rose to her face. He watched with dismay as she shook her head and sniffled. How many times was he going to make her cry in the span of just a few minutes? "Oh, Koushiro-san," she said again, dropping her hands and staring at him with an uncomfortable intensity. "Onii-san would never - he would never put the Quidditch team first. If he finds out someone is harassing you this badly, he would absolutely cut that person from the team and -"
"I don't think he would put me first. And that's what I don't want," he tried to explain. "Taichi-san shouldn't have to choose between me and the Quidditch team."
"He'll find a replacement Beater! Koushiro-san, please -"
Koushiro shook his head. "I don't have a say in this. Taichi-san keeps me in his circle to teach you Occlumency. I'm not there to come between him and his Quidditch team."
Hikari's lower lip trembled and fresh tears streaked the shiny rivulets on her cheeks. Her eyes somehow looked more golden teary and red. "That's not - onii-san doesn't keep you around just because - is it so hard for you to believe he likes you for you, not for what you can do?"
"As soon as you have control of your powers, and I have taught the others Patronus Charms, Taichi-san won't have use for me anymore," he said without emotion. "He won't interact with me any longer and I'll be free to pursue my research as I did before."
"That's not true, Koushiro-san," she whispered. "You'll see. He'll keep you around. You're part of his group now and you always will be."
Koushiro could not believe her. Families had told him similar things before and yet he had ended up back in group homes and orphanages. "I think you'll be surprised."
"Oh, you think you know my brother better than I do?" she snapped. "You're being ridiculous."
"I'm being practical. This is how it's always been."
"I suddenly understand you a lot better," she said, narrowing her eyes. Then she dropped her gaze, beginning the arduous process of siphoning droplets of blood from his uniform with her wand. "I hate this, Koushiro-san. I don't like keeping secrets from onii-san, especially one where you end up hurt. If you would just let me tell him about it, it would put an end to it. Shiori-san would leave you alone and onii-san would still be your friend."
"I already asked you not to tell him."
"Let me ask you this," she said, adjusting her legs so she sat more comfortably in front of him. Koushiro held back a groan, expecting a lecture. "If you don't think onii-san cares, why are you so scared to lose him as a friend?"
Koushiro had his answer ready. "It's not that I value the relationship. He has led me to interesting facets of the magical world that I wouldn't have been able to find on my own, like the sagasu or your powers, for example."
She looked decidedly unimpressed with his reasoning, her mouth pressed into a thin line and one eyebrow raised disdainfully. "Yeah, I don't buy it. I think onii-san means a lot to you and you don't want to admit it. You're scared to admit it, I think. But I also don't want to lose my Occlumency teacher. I need to learn to control my powers, or I'll have to…" Her voice trailed off. Then she seemed to remember herself and went on: "I need to tell someone about this, Koushiro-san. This isn't right and I don't want to see you hurt again. Please, let me tell a professor, or the headmasters…"
For a moment, he considered allowing this idea. He was no expert on others' emotions, but he could tell this incident hurt Hikari and she wanted to help find a solution. But an ugly voice inside him reminded Koushiro that he had told others about mistreatment in the past. True, he didn't know how the problem would be handled at Mahoutokoro. However, he simply didn't trust adults to protect him. They had let him down too many times over the years. Hikiku couldn't even guarantee him shelter over the summer.
He was old enough now that he shouldn't have to tell adults about his problems anyway, and as he realized before, this particular problem required a new strategy. After a moment's pause, Koushiro shook his head. "I would appreciate if you didn't."
Hikari seemed to inflate with frustration, puffing up her cheeks with her mouth in a thin line. "Why? I can't just keep quiet about this, Kou-san! You got hurt! Do you have any idea what that looked like? I don't ever want to see something like that happen to you again!"
Her rush of emotions had him reeling, fighting to understand why she cared so much. He swallowed hard. "It…won't," he said, but he couldn't guarantee that, and he could hear the uncertainty in his voice. "Look, my usual method of dealing with these types of situations doesn't seem to work here. If Shiori-san attempts this again, I'll jinx him first, as Taichi-san suggested."
"My brother wanted you to fight back?" she asked with wide eyes. She slumped and shook her head. "Of course he did. He's a Byakko, he probably can't understand why that isn't an ideal solution."
"They do tend to jump straight to violence," Koushiro agreed. That was an understatement - Shiori was a Byakko himself, of course.
She frowned. "I do wish you would let me tell the headmasters. I have half a mind to do that anyway."
He narrowed his eyes.
"But I think I need you to trust me," she went on, speaking her thoughts out loud. "And going against your wishes is a quick way to break that trust. Still, if I told the headmasters and they put a stop to this insanity and saved you some hurt, would that also earn your trust because I proved you wrong?" She held a fist to her chin as she thought.
Koushiro could tell she would not let the matter go, so he opted to distract her. He remembered he owed her an apology.
"I apologize for raising my voice. I didn't mean to upset you."
Hikari gave him a long look. "That isn't why I was sad, Koushiro-san! Why has no one ever helped you? Is that why you can't ask us for help?"
His attempt at distraction had failed miserably and he had landed himself in yet another layer of trouble. He didn't want to talk about this. He wanted to return to the comfort of learning and find a new aspect of magic to memorize. Koushiro shrugged, avoiding her gaze. "I've just spent a lot of time alone. It isn't anything against you. Everyone who has ever offered me anything has been obligated in some way."
She looked at him for a long time. He began to feel uncomfortable under the weight of her gaze. Finally, she said, "I don't think we should practice Occlumency today. I think we should go somewhere and have fun."
Koushiro stared at her, sure he had misheard. "What? Fun? What are you talking about?"
"Yep, fun," she said, giggling despite the grim discussion. "Come on, Kou-san. Have you seen the lake yet?"
He had not. He also had no say in her choice of activities. No amount of protest or insisting they return to their original goal would dissuade her; it was like arguing with a rock. It was like arguing with Taichi.
And so, against his wishes, Koushiro found himself venturing outside of Mahoutokoro with Hikari at his side. The walk to the lake involved crossing the moat outside the school and walking through the windy meadow to the west. Juniper bonsai trees dotted the wide expanse of golden grassland, which sighed and fluttered against the wind as though one living organism beneath a sapphire sky. Koushiro inhaled the sweet fresh air, laced with the scent of warm earth and sunlight. Crickets sang within the depths of the grass. He was out of breath within minutes, but Hikari skipped along as she ran her palm against the blades of grass. "What do you think? It's so pretty here, isn't it? The club has brought you to a couple cities, but you should really see the natural sights too, Kou-san."
It was the third time she had called him that. He had assumed the first time had been a slip of the tongue, and yet she had done it again. "What was that you called me?" he asked. He caught the scent of fresh water, but he couldn't see the lake yet.
She gave him an uncertain look. "I said Kou-san. Is that wrong? It's a nickname. You've had a nickname before, right?"
He had to think about it. "Taichi-san sometimes calls me 'little shit.'"
Hikari burst out laughing. "I'm sure he means it affectionately!"
They crossed the apex of the hill and before them lay a sparkling, reedy blue lake, nestled amongst the hills and cliffs. Across the water, deer had stopped for a drink, and herons waded in the shallow waters. "Wow," he said after a pause. "It's…very pretty."
He liked the sight, but he couldn't see a practical use for being there. Perhaps the idea was to cheer Hikari up after their argument. She sighed, her gaze on the water. "Yeah, it is, isn't it? Let's get a closer look. But don't get too close to the edge. You might get dragged in by a ningyo."
He stopped dead and Hikari laughed again.
"I'm just kidding! Jeez! They hang around in salt water so you have nothing to worry about."
Koushiro made sure she reached the lake first.
They found a nice, dry spot beneath willow trees. Hikari handed him a book. "What's this?" he asked as they sat down.
She shrugged. "You wanted a book from the palace library, right? I brought you one. I hope you like it."
Koushiro stared down at it, stunned she had remembered. The book detailed an advanced Alchemy recipe likely not taught at their school. It involved turning magical energy into physical form, similar to the Philosopher's Stone in Britain. He took it, hardly daring to believe his luck. "This is amazing. Thank you so much."
Hikari beamed, settling down in the grass. She took of her haori and draped it over a branch, but took care to unclip her Suzaku kamon first. "Sure! I thought you would like that one. Much more interesting than the origins of magic, right?"
But Koushiro shook his head. "I wouldn't say one is more interesting than the other. They are both subjects I'm not familiar with, so they are equally fascinating."
She sat back and closed her eyes, breathing deeply. "Because they're both unknowns. I think I'm starting to understand how you operate and you're a lot simpler than I realized."
He gave her a long look. Was that meant to be an insult? "Um, thank you."
Hikari laughed. "Your deadpan responses will always make me chuckle. Look, it's not a bad thing you're sort of simple. Onii-san's motivation is Quidditch, yours is learning. There's a lot more to the both of you than that, but I'd say that's the primary thing to know."
Koushiro had no idea how to respond to that, so there was silence between them for a long time. At last he said, "What are we supposed to do now that we're here?"
She opened one eye. "What do you mean? We relax. That's why I brought you here. You need a break more than anyone. Well, except maybe -" Her words broke off suddenly and for a moment, her face turned blank. Koushiro stared at her curiously, wondering if he ought to ask if something was wrong. Then she chattered on as though nothing had happened. "Look, you spend your time learning, right? Where do you usually learn?"
"In the dorm or the library," he said.
"Never outside?" she asked. Koushiro shook his head. "Well, try studying that Alchemy thing I brought you. You never know, the fresh air might do your mind some wonders. I know it helps me to change my environment once in a while."
Koushiro dearly wanted to take a look at the book, but others had expressed displeasure at his desire to learn while they were around him. Taichi had complained incessantly yesterday afternoon every time Koushiro returned to his studies. "You don't mind?" he asked.
She smiled. "Not at all. You look so hilariously focused when you work. I promise I won't tease you, though. I have some stuff I wanted to work on, too."
She shuffled through her school bag and pulled out her middle school homework. Koushiro hesitated, but she had given him the go-ahead. When she noticed he hadn't moved, she made a go on motion with her hand before settling in to read her own texts. Well, he didn't need any further invite.
He became comfortable in the grass and lost himself in the new knowledge.
Koushiro had no idea how much time had passed when Hikari began putting her things away. He jumped when she spoke. "How's your nose?" she asked.
Instinctively, he reached up and touched the center of his face. "It hurts a little," he admitted. "But it's not broken anymore."
She looked pained. "I'm so sorry, Koushiro-san," she said again, quietly.
He looked away.
"You shouldn't have to go through this at school. Please, please consider letting me tell onii-san. Or you tell him yourself. You don't deserve -"
"No," he said sharply. "I'm assuming it's time to go back to the school?" He had no idea what time it was, but he had seen Hikari checking an expensive-looking pocketwatch as she put away her school supplies.
She sighed. "I want to help you like you're helping me, okay?"
"I'm fine as it is."
Her face flashed with anger before she carefully smoothed out her expression. "I think we both know that's not true. As much as I hate this, I'll respect your wishes for now, even though this is dangerous, even though you could be hurt even worse than you were today - but if I get the opportunity to help you again, you can bet I'm going to do it again. I'll fight off Shiori-san myself if I have to. Even though this could all be solved so easily if you weren't so damned stubborn!"
She looked so intense and resolute Koushiro didn't know what to say, nor did he really understand. "If that's what you want to do," he said at last with a hint of uncertainty. "It seems unnecessary."
It was the wrong thing to say. Hikari closed her eyes briefly, squeezing them shut. "Ugh, Koushiro-san. There is nothing unnecessary about making sure you're safe! You're entitled to the same protections as every students in the school, even the purebloods. Even me, and I'm the princess!"
Koushiro had a hard time believing the two of them were equal. Her upbringing had been much, much different than his. And yet he had never had someone advocate for him like this. Her open concern did something strange to his chest. His pride told him to keep arguing, but something told him there was no point. "Okay," he mumbled.
Her annoyance faded and she smiled at him.
They began their walk back to Mahoutokoro, the golden fields at a slight incline this time. "I'll send you another fox when we get an opportunity to study Occlumency again," Hikari said.
"Yes, of course. Oh, did you come up with your Occlumency head space yet?"
She grinned. "Yeah, I did, but you've gotta wait to see what it is! Unknowns are your favorite, right? So if I want to keep my Occlumency teacher, I need to keep you guessing."
Even he had to smile at that. "I see you're learning my habits."
"You're not the mystery you like to think you are," she giggled.
"Because I'm simple."
She shook her head, the smile wiped from her face. "No, I don't think that's true. I shouldn't have said that. You're way more complicated than I thought." Before Koushiro could work out what that meant, she went on, "I'm so ready to get control of my powers. I know Occlumency isn't going to be easy, but I'm going to give it all I've got."
He wished he understood her desperation. Even Koushiro could tell there was some part of this problem he wasn't seeing. "I hope I can help," he said and was surprised to find he meant it. "You must be getting tired of seeing all these negative memories."
He couldn't even imagine what that was like. Koushiro wished he could experience it just once to understand. Hikari shuddered. "Yeah. It sucks. I hate it. The number of deaths, break-ups, and pain I've seen - pretty much every messed up thing you can imagine, I've seen it in someone's memory."
"I'm sorry. That sounds terrible."
"It's easier when it's stranger's memories," she said with a glum look. "But once in a while, I get memories from my parents, onii-san, and when he was here, Takeru-kun, too. It's hard to get to know people when I know eventually I'm just going to see them at their worst moments in their lives. If I have a chance to make the visions stop, if Occlumency has a chance to grant me that, you can bet I'm going to give it everything I have."
He didn't want to ask, but a strange fear nagged at the back of his mind. They had reached the entrance to the school, where the koma inu stood on either side of the stone steps on great pedestals. The guardians eyed them warily.
It was hard to get the words out. "My request still stands," he forced himself to say. How he didn't want to bring this up, but he had to be sure. Something dark within him told him she already knew. When Hikari looked at him in confusion, he continued, "In the club room, I asked that you not view any of my memories. We will not be using me to practice your mental blocking."
Her wide golden eyes looked away and she ran a hand through her short hair, looking stricken. The dread in his gut yawned wider. There was a long pause. At last, she whispered, "I'm sorry, but I already have."
Icy claws grasped his heart and he nearly lost his footing. He was struck with the strange urge to run. "What did you see?" His lips barely moved.
She rounded on him, but her anger wasn't for him. "It was an accident," she burst out. "I didn't mean to. It was before we were introduced - the Patronus Charms textbook, I didn't mean -"
"What did you see?" he repeated coldly.
They had stopped walking. Hikari's hands rose to her mouth, and her eyes cast about as though looking for a way out of the conversation. "I didn't understand all of it, because it's Muggle, but - and I didn't even get to see a complete memory because your blocking works, so I had to kind of - put it together - I didn't know Muggle orphanages were so -"
The earth swayed beneath his feet when he heard that word. He nearly dropped his bag. How many of his secrets was she going to learn that day?
The desire to run had never been so urgent, but Koushiro had to make something clear first. A plethora of emotions colored his voice; rage, hurt, disappointment. "You've known this long and you didn't tell me. I'm sorry, Hikari-san," he said quietly. "This isn't going to work. You will need to find someone else to teach you Occlumency."
Her face fell. "No! No, don't go! It was an accident!"
It didn't matter. He should not have allowed this to happen. Her fascinating powers had blinded him to the dangers and he should have seen this coming. While Koushiro knew she couldn't yet control her powers, he hated that she had kept her new knowledge a secret from him. She should have told him the moment she witnessed his memories. "No one else knows that about me, let alone has the nerve to remind me." His voice had hardened to a razor's edge. "Please don't contact me again. Here is your book back."
He tried to give her the Alchemy text, but Hikari's hands didn't move. Her lips moved rapidly as she tried to find the right words. "I'm so sorry! I told you I can't help it! Please, can we talk about this? You weren't in an - you weren't there the whole time, right? There were other homes -"
His throat tightened painfully. "I'm not going to explain to you how Japan's foster system works," he said coldly. How had this gone so wrong so fast? "Especially to someone who could never understand, like a princess, someone who has never lived through such misfortune. Don't tell me the memories you witness are examples. They are not."
She had started to cry again because of him, but this time he didn't care. She wrung her hands, her face ashen. "There's no reason to be ashamed. Please, help me understand."
But for once in his life, Koushiro had no desire to explain. "Kindly leave me alone. I hope you find someone else to teach you because it won't be me."
He crossed the bridge across Mahoutokoro's moat and vanished into Genbu Tower as soon as he could. Once Koushiro was safely inside his dorm, he collapsed at his desk.
He was an idiot. That was what he got for having others aid him in his quest for knowledge.
His origins had taught him that the world was a bleak place and no one would help him without obligation. Orphanage and group home caregivers were paid to house, feed, and clothe him. They had no love for him as an individual. He knew the rule if someone offered a positive change in his life.
There's always a catch, a voice whispered in the back of his mind. Always.
And he had been proven right once again. Taichi wanted him around to teach Hikari Occlumency so she could control her powers. Hikari wanted him around to learn his secrets. She was going to tell her brother what she had seen in his memories, no doubt about it. Koushiro realized he needed to distance himself from the others in the club. They would grumble and Taichi would bug him - at least for a little while - but Koushiro could make it work. He had to. No one would deny him his new start.
A/N: I hope Koushiro's behaviors and mannerisms make a bit more sense now. Obviously I'm writing him much colder/more distant than normal which is understandable given his upbringing, but I hope he doesn't come across as unlikeable. He still has some growing to do, but he will be able to get along better with the others soon.
Next time: Yamato checks on Sora.