A/N: The team needs a break. What better way to do that than by making this a chapter full of fluff and humor? Also, just to clarify: I've been saying telekinesis isn't Loki's strong suit. This is technically true - he does possess the ability of telekinesis, among other things, but considering his primary focus is his conjuration (illusions), it's not one of the skills he devotes a ton of attention to. Just in case any of you were confused.
Disclaimer: Do I even have to put this in anymore? Marvel/Disney's. Not mine.
23. Run, To Where You Will Not Need To Shield Your Eyes
"Okay...whose idea was the food fight?"
No one was going to answer that. Vision sighed, the disappointment rolling off him in waves. Despite this, no one had the grace to look ashamed. It had been fun; no one really cared about Vision's approval.
"I honestly thought you all were more mature than this," Vision sighed.
Loki exchanged a look with Clint and Tony. Clint grinned.
Oh, this was going to be fun.
In the weeks following Ultron, the Avengers had gotten themselves completely moved into the New Avengers Facility. There'd been an incident while the majority of them were back in Sokovia helping with the relief efforts for the people who had lost their homes to Ultron's plans, leaving Sam behind to guard the Tower. When they'd returned, Steve had laughed his head off when Sam had admitted that he'd gotten his ass kicked by a man who could shrink to the size of an ant.
Thor had returned with nothing useful, only the knowledge that the Tesseract was locked away in Odin's vault (something that intrigued Loki; he couldn't deny he still wanted that thing), the Aether stored with the infamous Collector in the middle of Knowhere, the Orb containing the Power Stone safely with the Nova Corps, and the Mind Stone in Vision's head. There were no clues pointing to whoever might be behind the appearance of Infinity Stones, though Loki had a sneaking suspicion who it was.
They'd adjusted to living at the Compound fairly easily. Each person (or pair, as the case may be) had chosen a room, and after the initial disconcerting confusion of living on only a handful of levels rather than the ninety-three stories they were used to, they'd settled into the space fairly well.
Life went on. Clint had continued to improve his relationship with Loki, something Tasha had commented on immediately; Loki had replied with a grin and a "shut up," not that she'd listened. She kept teasing them both about it, but they put up with it because it was Tasha.
The Avengers took it in shifts to help train the four new members, though Rhodey and Sam were more advanced, having both been in the military and with a general modicum of control over their suit's abilities. Loki worked most closely with Wanda, since their abilities were the most similiar; Vision seemed to trust Thor the most, and so worked most closely with him. Steve and Sam worked together, and likewise for Tony and Rhodey; Tasha and Clint drifted, helping when they could. They all worked with everyone at one point, but for the most part they stuck to their specific people.
Wanda had read Loki early on and discovered instantly that he was a werewolf. Loki wasn't mad about it - as perceptive as Wanda was regardless of her mind powers, he figured there was no stopping her finding out anyway. Vision hadn't yet deduced it, but Loki figured with the android's computing skill, he'd figure it out eventually.
As it turned out, Wanda was a very kind person. She was also very insecure, however, unsure of her powers and how to control them as they continued to grow. That was where Loki aimed to help - she'd be in better control of her abilities if she stopped being afraid of them.
Loki also discovered that he and Wanda were very similar people. They'd both had hard lives, tragic even, and suffered more than anyone should in a lifetime. Wanda, as it turned out, was twenty-six, putting her a full seven human years above Loki, something they'd joked about when Loki revealed his human age, since it seemed Loki had more life experience than she did.
The hunt for Rumlow continued. He'd left Central Park, according to Tobias' scouts, but they hadn't managed to find his base. Loki had told him to keep searching; they'd find it eventually. In the meantime, Loki had added Steve and Wanda to his ice reserve training sessions, and it turned out Bucky had been right about the extra people and varying skill sets. Practicing using it under a multitude of circumstances and against different abilities was really helping him hone that particular skill, and it gave him new chances to find out what exactly he could and couldn't do with the magic.
Between the training, the hunt for Rumlow, the weekly update meetings with Tobias and sometimes Rose, the ongoing ice reserve practice, and Loki's extensive research into Hydra's history, Loki was consistently exhausted. It was a good kind of exhaustion - it meant he was doing something, working on trying to figure out Rumlow's play and why the hell he was so mad at Loki in particular. But that didn't stop him from crashing gratefully into bed at night, curling up next to Thor and falling asleep instantly.
It was a relatively quiet day at the Compound that found Clint, of all people, knocking on Loki's door. Each Avenger had been given their own office space, something most of them only used for extreme researching like Loki was. They'd each decorated accordingly: Tasha's was covered in a mismatched collection of motorcycle pictures, images taken from ballets, a few of Steve's drawings of her, and S.H.I.E.L.D. biographies about each of her friends, most prominently ones about Bruce; Steve's was covered in drawings, and indeed his "office" was more of a personal art studio; Tony's had turned into a second workshop (his main one now existed in an entirely separate outbuilding just a few feet away from the main compound), with various scientific magazines and plenty of bits and pieces of whatever his latest project was strewn about (the place always seemed to be covered in grease and oil, which was to be expected); Clint's had hardly been touched, though he had taken the time to hang pictures on the walls, and he could sometimes be found struggling his way through a book (the archer, as it turned out, wasn't a great reader) or glancing over a file on something or other; Coulson had one among the rest of the S.H.I.E.L.D. personnel, but he'd been away with his team quite a bit and hardly used it; Thor's was also relatively untouched, the Thunderer having never put much stock in reading and not having the technology skills to make an office worth his while; Sam's was overtaken by his probably futile search for Bucky, who hadn't turned up again since his disappearance and wasn't likely to for quite a while, not that Loki volunteered this information; Rhodey's got decorated with military pictures and small mementos he apparently collected; Wanda's wasn't used much, but had been artfully decorated in shades of red, and she'd devoted a corner to remembering Pietro; Vision never touched his, having no need because he was, of course, an android; and Loki's had been devoted to his research on Rumlow. He'd covered the place in pictures of his friends, his family, but for the most part it was swamped by the files on Hydra.
Clint's knock drew Loki out of what he'd been perusing. He looked up in surprise. "Clint?"
"Hey," the archer said. "We're all gathering in the field out back for a picnic. We all need a break. Tony wanted you to come join."
Loki raised an eyebrow. "And he sent you to retrieve me?"
Clint grinned. "I volunteered, actually. I figured, since you're the God of Mischief and whatever, that if we're all taking the day off we might as well use it to our advantage and pull practical jokes on everyone."
Loki grinned back. "Brilliant idea," he said. "Question is, how?"
Clint's grin turned downright diabolical. "I have a few ideas."
"There you are," Tasha called. "I was starting to worry Clint had killed you and dragged you off somewhere."
Loki grinned. "Not quite. And don't you think that would have been the other way around?"
Tasha laughed. "Fair enough."
"You going to join us or not?" Tony asked with a grin from where he was sprawled out, using Steve's lap as a pillow.
"Yeah, yeah, we're coming," Clint said lazily. He made no move to hurry his pace, however, and Loki smirked. Their first prank was already underway. It was just a matter of patience as Loki worked his magic.
"Gods, could you move any slower?" Sam groaned, but he was grinning.
"Spell's finished," Loki muttered. "We're good. Just stay away from the left side of the basket."
Clint nodded, and the pair sped up. Once they'd reached the group (everyone but Vision, who apparently didn't know the definition of the word "fun"), Clint settled next to Tasha and Loki dropped down beside Thor, his head coming to rest on the Thunderer's shoulder.
"Great, we're all here," Tony said. Loki surveyed them all: this being a day off, they were all in casual clothes, something Loki enjoyed seeing actually - it was fun to see how different their work outfits (or superhero suits, whatever you wanted to call them) were from their plainclothes.
Tony wore a black AC/DC T-shirt and jeans that were such a deep blue they looked almost black. The shirt had a few grease stains, and Loki had to wonder if they were fresh or stains that detergent couldn't get out. Steve, beside him, was in his usual off-the-job look of a T-shirt (this time gray) that his abs were clearly visible through and jeans. Sam wore a similar outfit, a dark green T-shirt under an equally dark blue jacket and black jeans to cap off the look. Rhodey sported a black T-shirt (what was with the T-shirts today?) and camo pants. Clint's choice was a shockingly purple shirt and jeans, and the shirt - much to Loki's amusement - had a picture of those cartoon Angry Birds and read 'This is my ANGRY FACE!' It amused Loki greatly. Tasha's outfit today included the jewelry from that first Christmas - Loki's enchanted hourglass charm, Clint's heartfelt arrow charm, Bruce's delicate spider bracelet. She wore a plain red blouse and black leggings, and a black jacket against the wind. Wanda was dressed similarly, a blouse in varying shades of red that went from lightest to darkest down the shirt, and black leggings. She wore a simple silver necklace, presumably a gift from Pietro, and an equally simple silver charm bracelet with a strange red charm on it - it sort of looked like a warped M. Thor had his hair tied back and wore agray T-shirt and jeans much like Steve, though he wore a red coat over it that was more to complete the ensemble than anything. Loki's own outfit was more understated than usual - he wore the black shirt with the green-and-gold Avengers 'A' on it and black jeans, no coat necessary. Even his nails matched the black ensemble; Tasha seemed to find it amusing that he painted his nails, and Loki hadn't been doing it nearly as much since he'd first been brought back to Earth, so he figured why the hell not.
"We going to start eating right away or what?" Clint asked, shooting a conspiratorial grin Loki's way.
"Why not?" Sam shrugged, and reached for the basket.
Sam, Thor, Steve, and Tony all reached for the food first. Tony reached straight for the container of pasta salad. Stevewas a little more hesitant, settling on a traditional hot dog. Sam picked out a container of coleslaw, and Thor discovered an interesting-looking cheeseburger that Tasha informed him was Australian-style. Loki moved slightly away from Thor, under the pretense of grabbing his own food (which he did, from the right side of the picnic basket - a simple cold-cut turkey, ham and cheese sandwich). He watched with a growing grin as, almost in unison, the four of them raised their food to take a bite.
Ka-BOOM.
Four miniature explosions made Wanda shriek, the four who'd gotten pranked swear furiously (except Steve, though he did yell "Son of a -!"), and Clint and Loki burst out laughing.
No one was injured, though all four of them were covered in food debris. Loki hadn't planned for all four of them to reach for something messy, but it was just his luck that they had. All four glared at the laughing Trickster and accomplice intently, though the effect was rather ruined by the food. It was hard to keep a straight face with Sam covered in coleslaw and a few pieces of pasta stuck in Tony's hair.
"What the hell was that?!" demanded Tony.
Loki managed to catch his breath long enough to say, "It's a little trick of mine. Molecular rearrangement. Suffice it to say...you've been LOKI'D!"
Wanda started laughing at that, and soon enough they were all laughing, even the four who'd been pranked. There was something contagious about laughter. Loki didn't know what it was, but the fact that it existed was possibly some of the most beautiful magic of all.
"The rest of the food's not like this, is it?" asked Rhodey worriedly.
Loki laughed again. "No. I fixed the rest."
"When?" Rhodey asked, bemused.
"Just now," Loki told him. "I'm not the greatest with molecular rearrangement because I haven't practiced the skill in so long, but I do still remember how to do it."
Rhodey shook his head. "Wizards."
"Sorcerer, actually," Loki corrected with a grin.
Rhodey looked lost. Tasha laughed. "Come on, let's eat before Loki decides to rearrange more molecules and make shit explode."
Lunch progressed in a mostly normal manner. Loki magically got rid of the mess from the exploding food, soemthign Clint seemed a little disappointed by. At one point, a bird abruptly swooped in and flew away with Steve's (second) hot dog just like how it happened in cartoons. Steve was so incredulous that his expression made everyone laugh.
Lunch wrapped up, but the Avengers were far from done with their day off. Tony challenged everyone to an old-school game of tag with a twist: abilities were allowed. The reception to this idea was phenomenal.
They decided, since there were a lot of them, to make it capture-the-flag instead. Loki magically summoned the flags, currently simple white things until the team captains were decided. It came down to Tony and Steve, naturally. Tony's team (the flag changed to reflect the chestplate of the Iron Man armor) ended up consisting of Tasha, Rhodey, and Loki while Steve's team (the flag reflected the shield) was Clint, Wanda, and Sam. Thor had volunteered to referee.
Considering the Compound was surrounded by woods, the capture-the-flag terrain was just about perfect: enough obstacles to slow opposing teams down, but enough open space to make it easy to run for or with a flag. The teams split apart, each going in a different direction to hide the flag.
"Alright, who's on offense, who's on defense?" Tony asked.
"I'll defend the flag," Rhodey offered. "I might be the best suited, literally."
"I'll head out farther to patrol the far perimeter, hopefully stop the others from getting through," Tasha agreed.
"Apparently we're on stealing-the-flag duty," Loki said.
Tony grinned and closed his suit's faceplate. "Let's go kick their asses."
Thor's whistle sounded through the trees. Loki magically blacked out the sky to make it more interesting, and the game began.
Loki's hand glowed green so he could see in the abrupt darkness. Tony's reactor and repulsors glowed faintly, and he offered Loki a nod.
"Split up. Go around separate ways. Maybe use your magic to distract the guard," Tony ordered.
Loki grinned. "Yes, sir."
They split up; Loki took the right, navigating his way through the trees by the hovering green light he'd conjured. He knew exactly how to distract the guard. It would be best if Clint was on guard duty - they'd discussed this prank, and it would be doubly hilarious if Loki could get his partner-in-crime first, without the archer ever suspecting a thing.
He met no one and assumed either Team Cap's offense was already on their way past the halfway marker (Mjolnir perched in the lower branches of a tree at the dividing line between "territories") or busy tracking him or Tony. Loki decided, to solve the problem of anyone tracking him, to cast a silencing spell and an Undetectable spell that Frigga had taught him purely for the purpose of playing pranks.
Which, as he came within sight of the flag's obvious hiding spot (Loki had been right - Clint was the guard), he reflected he was about to do.
Team Cap had hidden their flag amid a small cluster of rocks. Clint stood guard just outside them, bow at the ready, tense. Still concealed amongst the trees, Loki grinned and whispered a spell. Next second, Wanda ran into the clearing.
Clint was immediately on edge. "What is it? What's happened? Where's the flag?"
"WE WERE AMBUSHED," Wanda said, too loudly. Clint flinched. "I RAN BACK TO MAKE SURE THE FLAG WAS SAFE."
"Could you talk a little quieter? You'll give away our position," Clint worried, glancing around. Behind his tree, Loki smirked; too late. Position compromised.
Wanda burst into an abrupt fit of giggles, as if Clint had said something funny. When it didn't subside, the archer's worry became clear - Wanda was normally a reserved, quiet person, after all, and this was extremely uncharacteristic. He hurried the few steps to her side.
"What kind of spell did that goddamn Trickster hit you with?" he muttered. Loki had to forcibly keep himself from laughing; if only he knew. "Come on, let's get you out of here..."
He led Wanda away. The moment they were gone, Loki slunk out from behind the tree and into the rock cluster. The shield flag, in all its glory, lay in front of him. Loki took a moment to revel in his victory.
And then he heard an enraged shout of "LOKI!" Realizing he was out of time, he grabbed the flag.
Clint burst back into the clearing a minute later, but Loki was already gone, running for the halfway mark. Once he got the flag over it, he'd won - he just had to get there.
Loki pressed his comm. "I've got the flag!"
"Good! Now hurry up!" Tasha ordered. "Rhodey'll meet you at the center line, he and Tones switched places after Wanda knocked his suits's thrusters offline."
"Got it," Loki said, and kept running.
He was almost there when Steve's shield came out of nowhere, nearly hitting him and forcing him to stop in his tracks. Sam bore down on him from above, going for the flag, but a simple spell caused his wings to suddenly fail and he came crashing to earth (though Loki also cast a cushioning spell so he wasn't too injured). Wanda's magic then surrounded him, effectively trapping him.
"We've got you now, Trickster," Steve grinned, retrieving his shield.
Loki grinned back as he saw Rhodey across the line, flying in soundless mode towards them.
"Any last words before we defeat you?" Clint asked, coming out of the shadows.
Loki smirked. "Yeah, just one," he said. The smirk turned into a grin. "Catch."
And then, with a miniscule assist from the ice reserve, a combination of magic and sheer willpower, Loki freed the arm he held the flag in from Wanda's magical chokehold and threw it into the air, where Rhodey snatched it. Before any of them could blink, Rhodey was back on their side of the line with the flag, which changed colors to reflect the War Machine armor's arc reactor and chestplate. Tasha and Tony ran out of the woods as Loki removed the blackout spell, letting the sun shine down on the victory. Wanda released him as Tony let out a whoop, which quickly turned into cheering from his team and incredulous laughter from Steve's.
Thor strode into the clearing with a huge grin on his face, delighted that Loki's side had won. The sunlight turned his hair to gold. The moment he was close enough, Loki pulled him in for a kiss.
"Good game, guys," Sam congratulated.
"Yeah. And Loki? That magical-duplicate thing? Impressive," Wanda complimented.
"Yes it was," Tasha agreed. "I heard the whole exchange over comms after I had Tony hack into your channel. But now I'm hungry again. Trying to keep you four away from our flag was exhausting."
"I'll run in to restock the basket," Clint volunteered.
"I'll come with," Loki said. "I have to get something anyway."
"Oh, no, you two pranksters aren't going in there alone," Steve laughed. "You need a chaperone."
"I volunteer as tribute!" Tony quoted. Everyone laughed.
For some reason, they let him. The moment the three of them were inside the Compound, Tony dropped the chaperone act.
"So what's your next trick going to be?" he asked.
Clint grinned. "There's a reason I volunteered to get the food."
"That tells me nothing, Barton," Tony admonished.
Clint laughed. "Exactly. You'll find out with the others."
Tony shrugged. "Fair enough." He paused, then: "I can use this new nanotech I've been working on to pull a prank."
"You can, or you will?" Loki asked.
Tony smirked. "I will. If only to see the look of betrayal on Steve's face."
All three of them laughed. Tony looked to Loki. "So what was your motivation for coming in here?"
"Another prank, naturally," Loki grinned. "I have to conjure a fake Mjolnir to psych Thor out. I'm sure you remember the trying-to-lift-Mjolnir thing you all did?"
"Yes, quite clearly," Tony grumbled.
Loki's grin turned devilish. "Time to go prove Thor wrong."
Tony grinned back.
"What took you guys so long?" Rhodey asked when they came back out.
"I looked away for two seconds and these idiots were halfway done with a prank," Tony lied. "I had to deconstruct the thing."
"Good thing you did," Steve said with an easy smile that belied the otherwise serious statement. "I'm not entirely sure we could survive another one."
Loki hid a grin. If he only knew.
Tony deposited the basket on the ground, then collapsed next to Steve. Steve slipped an arm around the genius, pulling him a little closer.
Tasha, Sam, and Thor reached for the basket first. "This stuff isn't going to explode, is it?" asked Thor, looking pointedly at Loki, who grinned.
"Nope," Loki said. "Not this time." Which was true, though something else entirely was about to happen.
With that reassurance, Thor reached into the basket. He pulled out a hot dog similar to the one Steve had never actually managed to eat; Tasha and Sam followed suit, each selecting a different item. Loki smothered a growing grin; this was gonna be fun.
Thor tried to take a bite of the hot dog, but the minute it got close enough to his mouth to be eaten, it came alive and jumped out of his hand. Startled, Thor yelped in surprise. Tasha and Sam's food both followed the same pattern, abruptly coming to life. Tony's nanotech at its finest, for a prototype.
The rest of the food in the basket started moving, following the same pattern as the ones that Thor, Tasha, and Sam had tried to eat. Loki, Clint, and Tony all burst out laughing as one of them started crawling up Thor's arm, much to the Thunderer's confusion. Soon enough most of them had at least one food robot clinging to them somewhere. Rhodey kept trying to brush them off, which they (or possibly FRIDAY, who was controlling them) seemed to find amusing, because they kept coming back. Steve had a robo-sandwich perched on his shoulder and was eyeing it warily, as if afraid it might try to eat him. Tasha growled at an incoming personal-sized bag of chips, which did absolutely nothing, as the robot was completely unpreturbed.
Through it all, the three pranksters were laughing their heads off.
"What was that about deconstructing a prank?" Rhodey asked Tony accusingly, trying in vain to swat off a particularly clingy cheeseburger.
Tony shrugged innocently. "Well...what can I say? I'm a prankster too."
Sam shook his head and cursed furiously at the hot dog that was climbing over his new gadget, Redwing. Steve halfheartedly glared at Tony. "Traitor."
Tony grinned. "That I am. Yet you love me anyway."
Loki grinned and touched his comm, turning away and muttering, "FRIDAY...now."
He then turned to Clint and, in the archer's ear and so low that Tony couldn't hear, instructed, "You might want to get out of the way."
Clint clearly didn't understand, but he moved regardless. All at once, the nano-food retreated away from the other Avengers and made a beeline for Tony. The others watched in surprise and amusement as Tony realized what was happening.
"No - hey - wait, you're not supposed to come after me!" Tony protested, as if talking to them would help. "FRIDAY, what's going on?"
FRIDAY didn't respond. Loki got the feeling she was enjoying this just as much as the humans (and Asgardians) were.
The food robots continued to advance, and Tony's expression devolved into one of panic. "No - wait - no, go away - FRIDAY, help! - goddamnit - no -"
The robots reached him and began to climb, clinging much as they'd clung to Rhodey. Tony's voice went up an octave as he squirmed. "No, no, no, no, no! Get off, get off, what the hell, get off!"
At this point everyone else was laughing, Steve perhaps most of all. Tony glared halfheartedly at his boyfriend. "A little help might be nice!"
"Payback's a bitch, ain't it?" was Steve's only response.
"Language!" Loki, Tasha, and Sam chorused. Steve only laughed harder.
Tony turned his glare on Loki. "Now who's the traitor?"
Loki laughed. "Well, what can I say?" he echoed. "I'm the Trickster."
FRIDAY sent the food robots off of Tony, except now they were running away, the nanotech taking off through the grass. "Hey!" Tony protested. "Get back here!"
FRIDAY must have had a sense of humor, because she made one of the hot dogs turn around and essentially shake its head at Tony, as well as possible considering the thing was fake food.
"After it!" Tony shouted, more because he wanted to retrieve his tech than anything, Loki thought.
Most of them, still laughing, obliged and took off after the retreating food robots. Loki and Wanda were the only two left, wrangling the closer ones with magic.
While Wanda's back was turned, Loki grinned to himself; he knew exactly how to keep her distracted.
Steve came bounding back with a bunch of disabled food robots in his shield - a convenient way to transport them.
"That was fast," Wanda remarked. She'd taken a liking to Steve, and he seemed to be one of the people she connected most with (the others were Clint, who was basically a surrogate brother at this point; Tasha, who was another badass woman and had been teaching Wanda how to deal with a handful of male Avengers and inevitable hordes of fanboys that were too dumb around women for their own good; and Loki, who was obviously also magical and had been through similar pain).
"Yeah, well," Steve said. "I'm a super-soldier. It's kinda part of the physiology."
While Steve - or more accurately, Loki's illusion of Steve - kept her talking, Loki snuck over to where Thor had set Mjolnir nd produced his copy. He made a few quick adjustments so it was flawless, then teleported the real Mjolnir back into the Compound with a wave of his hand, leaving the fake one in its place. He was back to his position within seconds, and made his illusion say something about going back to keep searching.
Wanda was none the wiser of the switch that had just gone down, and just in case she somehow found out about the deception (which she shouldn't, Loki being the God of Lies, but she was telepathic - anything was possible), Loki put up careful mental barriers around thoughts of his upcoming prank.
The real Steve returned a few minutes later with food bots in his shield exactly like how Loki had created the illusion. He was followed by the others, shepherding the nanobots back into the picnic basket.
"Someone's gotta take these things back inside," Sam declared, collapsing onto the blanket with a dramatic flair that Loki admired.
"I'm on it," Steve said. He glared good-naturedly at Loki, Tony, and Clint. "I don't trust any of them not to figure out even more pranks while in there."
Loki grinned; Steve had another thing coming once he entered that building.
He set off. Loki conjured a screen out of nowhere. "You guys are gonna want to watch this," he said.
Thor gave him a look. "You've got more?"
Loki grinned. "You say that like you haven't lived with me your entire life."
Thor shrugged. "Fair enough."
The Avengers all gathered around the screen. It was essentially a security camera feed of Steve carrying the basket full of disabled nanobots back to Tony's workshop.
"And cue your entrance, Tony," Loki said, as if he were the director of a Shakespeare play (Tasha had introduced him to Shakespeare with the classic Romeo and Juliet and Loki had instantly loved it; since then he'd read every play he could get his hands on).
Tony shot him a confused glance. "What -?" He didn't finish his sentence, however, as Loki's illusion copy of the genius appeared on the monitor.
Tony grinned as he realized what Loki had done. Loki grinned back. "Would you like to be the puppet master?"
Tony's grin turned positively wicked. "Hell yes."
With a simple spell, Tony was in control of his magical copy. He smirked as illusion-Tony caught up with Steve. "Hey," he said, and it was a double effect for the watching Avengers as the real Tony spoke and his double spoke with him.
Steve turned, surprised. "Hey, Tones," he replied. "I thought you were still outside?"
"Decided to come with you," illusion-Tony shrugged. At Steve's look, he raised his hands in surrender. "I won't do anything, promise."
Steve relaxed. "Alright, alright."
Illusion-Tony smiled. The pair set off again in a companionable silence. Then illusion-Tony spoke.
"You're not mad that we kicked your ass in capture-the-flag, are you?" he asked.
Steve smiled and teased, "Language." The smile faded. "No, I'm not mad, Tones. It was just a game, why would you think I'd be mad?"
Illusion-Tony shrugged. Loki glanced at the real Tony, who wore a slightly pained expression. "I just haven't had the best experience with people. Games least of all. I didn't have a ton of friends as a kid, mostly because I was smarter than them and I was also arrogant, which meant a lot of unnecessary showing off. People really didn't like that. The most games I played were drinking games at MIT when I was sixteen with idiots twice my age that got pissed if I won - which I did. A lot."
Steve glanced at illusion-Tony. "I know you've had a hard life, Tones," he said. "But I'm different. You should know that by now."
Both the real and illusion Tonys smiled. "Yeah. I do."
Steve was still looking at him as they entered the hallway where Loki and Clint's trick was set up. Illusion-Tony passed through just fine. About halfway down the hall, however, Steve tripped.
Nanobots spilled everywhere as all the watching Avengers exchanged confused looks. Loki grinned. It appeared that Steve had tripped over his own feet.
"What the hell -?" Steve glanced behind him as Loki removed the illusion and revealed the rope arrow that was stretched across the hall like a trip wire. The Avengers all laughed as Steve swore.
"Language, Captain," Tony said with a smirk. Steve looked up as the illusion melted way.
"LOKI!" Steve yelled. Loki burst out laughing. The look on his face was worth it. Swearing under his breath, Steve collected the spilled nanobots and deposited them back into the basket. Loki waved the screen away.
"Nice one, Обманщик," Tasha laughed.
"Why, thank you, Убийца," Loki said. "But it was Лучник's arrow."
Tasha turned to Clint. "That is evident, Обманщик."
Loki switched to Russian. "И как именно это очевидно, Наталья?" [And how exactly is that evident, Natal'ya?]
Tasha snorted. "Пожалуйста. Он единственный лучник Мстителей, и даже вы не можете натянуть натяжной трос с помощью одной лишь магии." [Please. He's the only archer of the Avengers, and even you can't rig a trip wire with just your magic.]
Loki sighed. "Fair enough."
"Do we want to know what that whole exchange was?" Clint asked. "All I understood was 'luchnik,' the thing you keep calling me."
"Archer," Tasha said. "Yeah."
"Also, Loki, why'd you call her Natalia?" Tony questioned. "You should know her name by now."
Loki smirked. "If she's not told you, I won't either."
Tony halfheartedly glared at him, but Loki tried his best to communicate the message: We defend our own. It could be the wolves' code, Loki thought. He'd have to pitch it to Tobias and Rose when he next saw them.
Steve came back out then and glared at Loki. "Not funny, Trickster."
Loki grinned. "It was totally funny."
"Yes it was," Clint agreed helpfully.
"Hey, you can't talk, you were in on this too," Steve said, rounding on the archer.
"It was funny, though," Sam said, a little hesitantly.
Steve looked around. "You all thought it was funny?"
A multitude of nods. Steve sighed and broke into a grin. "You're all idiots," he declared. "Come on, let's go back to the picnic."
Fresh laughter ran through the group, and they followed Steve back to their picnic spot.
"Please tell me you actually packed a real picnic basket while you were in there scheming about the robots?" Tasha said.
Clint laughed. "Yeah, we did. It's still inside, though. I'll run in and grab it. No detours this time, I swear."
Tasha studied him with an appraising eye, then grinned. "Go. And bring out the beer!"
Clint gave her a little salute. "Yes, ma'am."
Loki gave him a small nod as a signal. As Clint purposefully walked past Thor, he bent down and effortlessly picked up the fake Mjolnir. He gave it an experimental swing, and Loki made sure to add the sound effect to sell the performance.
"You know, this thing is really well-balanced," Clint remarked, disregarding the shocked looks on everyone's faces, Thor's most of all.
"How did you -? You weren't able to -? But you're not worthy!" Thor protested.
Clint grinned. "You sure about that?"
"Give me the hammer," Thor demanded. Clint handed it over easily.
...And when Thor gave it a swing, as if to make sure Clint hadn't damaged it in some way, it broke apart in his hands.
By now, most of them had realized it was a trick, and now started laughing at the horrified look on Thor's face. "What -? But - how -?"
Thor glanced around and noticed that both Loki and Clint were doubled over with laughter, the rest of the Avengers not much better off, and appeared to realize that it was a prank.
"Loki! What did you do with Mjolnir?!" Thor demanded.
Loki tried to catch his breath, wiping away a tear from laughing so hard. "Back in the Compound," Loki managed. "I teleported it there when I made the switch."
"But when did you...oh," Wanda realized. "You used Steve."
Steve glanced at her. "He what now?"
"One of those illusion copy things," Wanda said. "While you were off chasing the nanobots, he must have used a copy to distract me while he switched the hammers."
Loki grinned. "Guilty as charged."
Thor sighed and summoned the real Mjolnir back. "When am I going to learn to stop falling for your tricks?"
"Hmm, probably never," Loki laughed. Thor shook his head with a fond smile.
Clint ran in to get the food and came back out a few minutes later. He set down the second basket before collapsing next to Steve. Wanda, Tasha, and Rhodey were closest to the replaced basket. Loki glanced at the archer, who watched with a huge grin that Loki wsa surprised didn't give everything away after everything they'd just done.
"I'm kinda scared to open it now," Rhodey said.
Loki grinned. "It's fine."
"Yeah, your grin's telling me otherwise," Rhodey pointed out.
Loki shrugged. "Just open the thing."
In the end, it was Wanda that opened the basket and Wanda that shrieked as a large net exploded out of it. The thing was big enough to cover all three of them. Tasha swore quite loudly, and Rhodey just sighed. Really, they all should have been expecting this at this point.
Loki and Clint were both doubled over laughing again, and Clint actually offered his hand for a high five. Everyone else (well, except Tony, who was grinning) just shook their heads with fond if exasperated smiles.
Tasha whipped out a knife and cut through the net, freeing herself and then lifting it off the other two. Tasha then reached into the basket and threw the first thing she pulled out - an apple - at Loki.
"Ow," Loki said mildly.
Tasha threw another one at Clint, who swore. "Fuck! Hey!"
He retaliated by finding another hot dog and throwing it at her. Tasha yelped as it hit.
"Oh, so it's gonna be like that, is it?" Tasha challenged.
"You're on," Clint grinned.
"Hope you don't mind if the rest of us join in," Loki inserted with his mischievous grin still firmly in place.
"The more the merrier," Tasha said. "Or messier, in this case."
Loki exchanged glances with the others. They all wore matching grins.
"It's on," Loki declared. He magicked the picnic basket away, so the food was more readily available. There was some pretty messy stuff here.
Thor made the first move, grabbing another cheeseburger and throwing it at Loki. Thus commenced the Avengers' food fight that found a disapproving Vision standing over them.
"Okay...whose idea was the food fight?"
No one was going to answer that. Vision sighed, the disappointment rolling off him in waves. Despite this, no one had the grace to look ashamed. It was already fun, and they'd just gotten started; no one really cared about Vision's approval.
"I honestly thought you all were more mature than this," Vision sighed.
Loki exchanged a look with Clint and Tony. Clint grinned.
Oh, this was going to be fun.
As Vision kept talking, Loki subtly slipped the same magical control he'd exerted over the copies into Vision's head, siezing control of his programming. He cut himself off mid-sentence and glanced at Loki in dismay.
"What are you doing?" the android asked.
Loki grinned and held up a hand lazily, one in which he now held the strings of a marionette. "Playing the puppet master."
Vision's expression turned to one of horror, the rest of the Avengers' ones of delight, as a mental nudge from Loki had him reaching against his will for the nearest food. It also happened to be a messy one - another container of potato salad.
"We might want to do this standing up," Loki suggested, his eyes never leaving Vision.
Everyone obeyed. They waited for a few moments, Loki dragging it on for dramatic effect.
And then Vision threw the potato salad onto Wanda, and the backyard picnic devolved into a full-scale chaotic food fight.
It was mostly a blur of flying food, magic and the others' tricks, and swearing - lots of loud swearing whenever someone got hit. At one point, Sam threw a container of coleslaw at Loki, probably as payback for the exploding food that had kicked off the pranking spree; at another, Vision got hit by a blackberry mason-jar mini cheesecake by Wanda, and Loki laughed because the blackberries were purple like he was. Steve got the full pie-in-the-face treatment, which Steve simply wiped off so he could see and keep going. Thor ended up being bombarded by all manner of desserts, while Tasha got the hot dogs. Somehow in the fray Loki had summoned tacos from somewhere, which had hit Sam and Clint respectively. Tony got the condiments and yet more pasta salad, something he swore quite loudly about. Rhodey managed to get hit with all the cheeseburgers, and various toppings ended up clinging to his person. Wanda, by the end, was somehow the cleanest, but she did have chocolate all over her, something Loki wondered how exactly had come to pass.
Eventually, they all collapsed into the grass, exhausted and covered in various food debris. Loki had coleslaw in his hair and salad items clinging to his shirt, but he also wore a grin.
"That was fun," Tony panted.
"Hell yeah it was," Clint agreed.
"That's probably the most fun I've had in years," Wanda confessed.
"Even I found myself having fun," Vision admitted cautiously. He still had blackberry juice covering his head and obcuring the Mind Stone. "Though that was probably more due to Loki's interference."
Loki looked directly at him, deadly serious for the first time all day. "Once the fight got going, I lost my mental hold on you. You participated in that food fight, except for the opening shot, entirely of your own volition."
Vision seemed a little stunned by this.
"We really need to clean ourselves up," Tasha sighed. "But right now I don't want to move."
Loki waved his hand and the worst of the food debris disappeared. "We're all still going to have to shower and run our clothes through the wash like five times, but that's the worst of it gone."
Tasha nodded at him.
"For now, though, can we just lay here and enjoy not having to think about life for the time being?" Tony asked.
There was a chorus of agreement from the rest. Loki glanced over at Thor, who met his eyes and smiled. Loki smiled back and looked away.
Loki stared up at the sky, wondering if Heimdall was watching, and immensely grateful that this ragtag group of superheroes had decided to let him into their family.
"Sir."
"What?"
"The raiding party just got back, sir."
"What news?"
"The Ice Resistance is tracking us, sir."
"What?! That's impossible."
"Not exactly, sir. We don't really try to hide."
"Why haven't they made a move?"
"Unknown, sir. Perhaps they're waiting on orders from the Ice Alpha. But they only seem to be tracking our supply runners at the moment."
"Keep an eye on them. And keep me informed."
"Yes, sir." Retreating footsteps, a pause. Then a new voice.
"Sir? Something else?"
"Yes. Prepare the pack for the job. We strike soon."
"Very good, sir."
More retreating footsteps. A cruel grin twisted the final speaker's face.
Rumlow leaned back in his chair. "One way or another, Alpha of the Ice," he vowed to himself, "you will die by my hand. So prepare yourself for war, Loki Laufeyson. Because tonight, your life begins to end."
On that happy note. *grins evilly* You're welcome. Sorry, I know I said this would all be fluff, but I couldn't resist - shit gets real in the next three chapters. And *technically* it's not April Fool's Day anymore, but we can count this chapter as a tribute to the day, right? Anyway, hope you enjoyed, hope I made you laugh. Share your favorite pranks in reviews. :) Or don't, but review anyway, because I always need the confidence boost.