A/N: Time to celebrate! It might get a little steamy in this, the last chapter of The Mnenosyne...so, grab a glass of wine...a cold beer...and enjoy! (If that's not your thing, I completely understand if you choose to scroll past those few paragraphs to the next segment.)
A New Dawn
Republic Flagship - The Liberator, Medbay
Ashla floated in the kolto tank. Her hair swam around her as she dreamt. And as she dreamt, she remembered...
She was laughing.
She couldn't remember a time when she had laughed more, or had so much fun just enjoying someone else's company.
She stole a peek at the handsome dark haired man who sat propped up against the head of his medbay bed as she sat at his bedside while they played cards.
"You won again?! You've got to be cheating!" Carth Onasi said with a deep chuckle as he threw down his cards. "C'mon, admit it, Ash! You're using the Force to read the cards!"
"I am not!" She dropped her head back and laughed so hard tears sprang at the corner of her eyes. She reached up and lightly dabbed them away. "Carth - I swear! I am not cheating."
He snorted at her, causing her to erupt into giggles again. He straightened his face into one of pure seriousness. His eyes twinkled mischievously as he shuffled the cards, dealt out the next hand, and then waited for her to play her turn. She followed suit, putting on her 'game face' as she studied the cards in her hand, debating which card to play. She laid down her card as her eyes made contact with his and gave him a coquettish grin before studying her cards for her next play. Feeling the weight from his gaze upon her, she glanced up to see him staring at her with an odd expression on his face.
"Is something wrong?"
"N-no." He stammered slightly, his cheeks taking on a pink tinge under his trim beard. "I'm sorry, it's just…it's just that...Well, uh…" he cleared his throat, "I'm married."
Married? Stunned into silence, she focused on controlling her features, hoping her face did not betray her emotions. She glanced at the slim gold band on his finger, berating herself for not noticing it earlier. She swallowed down the bitter taste of disappointment, "oh."
"I, uh...probably should have mentioned that earlier," he gave a nervous laugh as he played his card.
"How long have you been married?" she asked softly.
"Ten years. We married right before I enlisted, on Telos."
She was quiet for a few moments contemplating which card to play, as she filed away her embarrassment and disappointment. "Do you have children together?" she asked as she played her card.
"Yes, a son. He just turned nine." He set his cards aside and reached towards the end of the bed.
"Let me help you. What do you need?" she asked, motioning for him to be still.
He pointed to his jacket. Laying her cards in her lap, she handed him the well worn jacket. He reached inside to pull a small datapad out of the inner pocket. He activated the device and pulled up a holo picture of a small boy playing with a toy starcraft.
"Is this him? Oh! He looks like you!" she exclaimed, smiling as she looked at the holopic.
He smiled as he studied the holo pic. "Yes, he does. His name is Dustil. It's from a few years ago." He turned off the device and slid it back into his jacket. "So, do you have any children?"
Then, he began to laugh.
"What?" she asked, having been caught off guard by his question and confused by his sudden bark of laughter.
"You're a Jedi and I just asked if you had children." He grinned at her. "I'm sorry. I...uh, heh heh, forgot for a moment that you were a Jedi."
"Oh." Ashla laughed nervously, her fingers toying with the end of one long auburn curl as she looked at him from beneath her lowered lashes. Her cheeks turned a light pink as she thought about how inexperienced she was with men.
Alek had certainly seen to that. At the temple, none of the boys she had been interested in would risk Alek's ire to get close to her. In fact, most of them had viewed her as 'off limits' because she was 'one of the boys.' Or, had been too intimidated by her due to how strong she was with the Force. Even here, way out in the Outer Rim, Alek had managed to micromanage any potential would-be suitors. Men had a way of getting "transferred" if they showed too much interest in her, especially after the other Jedi began referring to her as the Revanchist. It was frustrating beyond belief.
"No, um…" She swallowed the nervous lump that formed in her throat. "No children."
His eyebrows raised slightly, then lowered. "Oh, yeah...that's, umm...not something that's really allowed in the Jedi order, huh?"
She laughed lightly as her fingers traced the silver leaf pattern on her green tunic. "Ha ha, well…" she said, drawing out the word. "It is frowned upon. Relationships, as a whole, are greatly discouraged because of attachments," she cleared her throat nervously. "Ahem, but we are not a celibate order. If you are discrete, then it's usually overlooked." Her face felt like it was on fire as she nervously met his gaze. "There have been times in the past when someone has gone on a very long mission, only to return with a child for the temple to train. It's not unheard of, and happens more often than the Order cares to admit…" She shrugged as her voice trailed off.
Realizing he embarrassed her, he smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking."
"No apology is necessary, my friend." She said with a small smile.
He cast another of his boyish grins at her, sending a rush of heat and a fluttering sensation coursing through her. Her reaction to him surprised her. She had been around plenty of handsome men before, but this was the first time someone had affected her so intensely. She had never met anyone who stirred such deep feelings inside of her.
She reminded herself that it was only natural to be attracted to a handsome man.
But, one who was married, and had a child...no, she should keep her distance.
She laid her cards with the rest of the stack and smiled warmly at him as she rose to leave. "I should go and let you get some rest. Otherwise, I'll never hear the end of it from Doc. I hope you feel better soon, Captain Onasi."
She held her composure as she left the medbay and found her way back to her quarters. Once inside and the door secured, she flopped down on her bed face first in commiseration.
#
Ashla woke slowly. It was difficult to open her eyes. The room was blurry and unfamiliar. She blinked rapidly in hopes of clearing her vision. She tried to lift her arm to rub her hand over her face, but it would not budge. She glanced down the length of her arm to see what was hindering her movement.
Her heart filled at the sight of him, laying on the bed while holding her hand, fast asleep. The corners of her mouth curled up into a small smile. Images from the dream she'd had of their brief meeting so many years ago tugged at her consciousness as they flashed before her eyes. She thanked the Force that she was able to remember him. Even if none of her other memories returned, she was grateful that one did.
She gripped his hand lightly, hoping it would cause him to awaken, because that was all she could muster at the moment.
It was enough.
Carth stirred as he felt the hand he held in his own gently squeeze around his fingers. "Ash?"
"Hello there, flyboy," she said. Her voice sounded weak to her ears. "How long have I been out?"
He raised up and brought her palm to his lips, brushing them across her knuckles. "A few days," he mumbled, still groggy from sleep.
She tried to sit up, pushing up with her other hand. He sat on the bed beside her and slipped his arm behind her and helped her sit up. She rested her head on his shoulder as he wrapped her in a warm embrace.
"Don't scare me like that again," he whispered fervently as he buried his face in her hair.
Her eyes closed as she relished his warmth radiating off of him, and leaned closer to him. "Oh, Carth..." She reached up and placed her slim hand on his face, letting her fingers linger against his cheek. "I remember you."
He grinned. The same boyish grin from her memory. The same boyish grin he'd flashed at her on Taris from across the cantina.
"Well, I'd hoped you would remember me. I just saved your life. Again." His grin grew wider.
She shook her head slightly, laughing softly. "While I was submerged in the kolto tank, some of my memories returned. I remember when we met...before." She snuggled deeper into his arms as she related her memory.
His shoulders shook softly with laughter. "You know, I thought there was something familiar about you when we were on Taris, but I couldn't pin it down. I just couldn't figure it out. Later, I thought, perhaps it was just that you reminded me so much of Morgana." He sighed deeply as he looked away.
"Carth." She turned his head to face her. "She was your wife. The mother of your child. She'll always hold a special place in your heart. I understand that."
He found he couldn't speak, his throat constricted from emotion, so he simply nodded, then kissed her forehead softly. The Doctor cleared her throat to get their attention as she made her way across the room.
He brushed his fingers across her cheek tenderly. "I'd better let the rest of the gang know you're awake. They've been in to check on you several times. Oh, and don't be surprised if Tuuka shows up. I haven't been able to keep that damned cat to stay in the ship. He keeps sneaking out."
#
Unknown Planet (Lehon) - Temple of the Ancients Foregrounds
Carth Onasi was having a great day. The war was over. The Star Forge had been destroyed. Darth Malak was defeated, leaving the Sith to falter without leadership.
And, he was in love.
His eyes roamed over to where Ash stood with Admiral Dodonna and Master Vandar. Her eyes locked with his. She smiled brightly at him, and the soldier who was talking to him faded into the background.
Yes, he thought, it was probably the best day he had had in a long time. The only thing that would have made this day better was if his son was here to celebrate with him. Dustil was in Alderaan staying with his grandmother. He received a message from him this morning promising to meet with him on Telos soon. It was a good start.
His eyes scanned the crowd for Ashla. Having a feeling he knew where she was headed, he clapped the soldier on the back as he excused himself. He spied the refreshments and poured two glasses of wine. He weaved his way through the crowd in search of Ashla, thinking that tonight - well, tonight was going to be even better.
#
Ashla stared at the medal in her hands, rubbing her thumb over the raised emblem of the Republic, contemplating whether or not to throw it into the ocean waves. She sat down in the sand, listening to the cheers of the soldiers as the celebration continued on foregrounds of the ancient temple.
Almost two standard weeks had passed since the destruction of the Star Forge. She had spent the better part of that time in the med bay facilities on the Republic hammerhead cruiser, The Liberator, healing and recouping from her battle with Malak.
A small sigh of sadness escaped her at the thought of Alek.
A few of her memories returned while she was submerged in kolto. Most of them had been of happier times, times that she could look back on Alek and remember him fondly, even if he had been an overprotective bear of a big brother. Memories from a time before the war. Before they became Revan and Malak...when they were simply Ashla and Alek, Jedi Knights of the Republic.
Not all of her memories had returned. She would be surprised if they ever did. Honestly, she wasn't sure she wanted some of her memories to come back, as she thought of Telos and the death of Carth's wife. She swallowed the guilty lump that formed anytime she thought of Morgana. She wondered if Carth wanted to return to Telos now the war was over. She frowned as she pondered how Dustil would receive her when he found out who she really was. Probably not well, she thought.
She shook her head as she came back to the present, the medal weighing heavily in her hand. Kill your brother, save the galaxy and get a medal. Brilliant. She let it slip through her fingers and fall into the white sand. She stared out over the crystal blue waves. I'm sorry, Alek. I wish I could have saved you. But, maybe...just maybe, I brought you a small measure of peace before you passed. I did love you, brother.
She sighed heavily as she picked up the medal and slipped it inside one of the utility pockets on her belt. Carth would think it remiss of her to cast it aside. No, it's best to keep it. The Cross of Glory was the highest award the Republic was known to grant...one not handed out lightly.
The sun was beginning its slow journey back into the horizon, sending a colorful array of pinks and purple streaks through the clouds. Sounds from the celebration drifted down to her ears. She thought briefly about going back to the party, but the lure of solitude was stronger.
She settled herself into a meditative position, setting her palms to rest on her knees, when heard footsteps behind her. She knew without turning around it was Carth.
"I thought I'd find you out here," he said softly as he settled himself beside her. "I brought you some wine. Alderaanian Toniray, no less. Dodonna spared no expense."
She tried to hide her worried expression as she took the long stem fluted wine glass from him. She failed.
Carth looked at her in concern. "What's wrong, beautiful?"
Ashla swirled the teal colored sparkling wine as she inhaled its fruity scent. "Nothing," she murmured as she tilted it back and took a sip. It was cold, sweet and tangy. It must have been poured just before he set out to find her. She smiled sweetly at him as she took another sip.
"Hmm, that might have worked when we were still on Taris, but I think I know you a bit better now. Besides, I was married once. I know when a woman says 'nothing,' it's usually something." He returned her smile with one of his own. "Come on, what's going on in that beautiful head of yours?"
Not really wanting to discuss her sorrow or her concerns about going to his homeworld or what Dustil's reaction to her might be just yet, she pushed those thoughts aside as she leaned close to him and whispered, "hmm...Just think, soon we'll be all alone - just the two of us. Like we were on Taris," she winked at him as she gave him a seductive smile, hoping to distract him as she took a long sip of the cool teal colored wine.
"Heh, heh." He laughed softly. The seductive tone of her voice caused his heart to beat faster as he felt a warm rush of desire flow through him. He sipped his wine, deciding he'd let her go ahead and change the subject, sensing she wasn't ready to discuss whatever it was that had been weighing on her so heavily. He thought back to when they were alone, before they took in Mission and Zaalbar...or found Bastila, "you know, when we were on Taris...I couldn't wait until we found Bastila, just to have some sort of buffer between us. You about drove me crazy those first few weeks, beautiful."
She gave him a sultry look. "Who me?"
He laughed softly as he gave her a smoldering look. "Definitely you. Thank the Force that apartment had a shower with cold running water."
His comment caught her off guard as she took a sip. Laughing, she almost spewed wine out of her mouth, but luckily she had clamped her hand down first.
He nodded. "Especially the night of the party. Watching you flirt with that officer," he groaned, "that just did me in, especially with that shirt you were wearing. Urgh, I wanted to punch his lights out. Where in the hell did you get that shirt, anyway?" He leaned in close and whispered huskily in her ear while his fingers trailed lightly down her back, "do you have any clue how maddening it was watching that guy touch you the way I wanted to touch you?"
"No, I didn't know that," she shivered as he sent tingles up and down her spine. She blushed furiously, her cheeks turning a bright pink, as she tried to focus on what he asked her. "Where did I get it? Oh, uh...Dia gave it to me."
He nibbled on the underside of her jawline, wishing she wasn't wearing the high collared undershirt under her dark green Jedi robe. "Hmm...do you still have it?"
Her breath came in fast as she tilted her head back. She was finding it hard to think, much less remember. "The shirt?" Her voice sounded odd to her ears. It was higher than normal...breathy. "No, I think...I think I left it on Taris."
Carth lifted his head and stared down at her. His eyes were dark and heavy with desire. "Damn, that's too bad," he whispered against her lips as he took the wine glass from her. He set it beside his. "I might have to buy you a new one when we get to Coruscant." He tilted her head back slightly as his lips found hers. A wave of heat washed over her as he gently teased at the corner of her mouth. They pulled apart suddenly as they heard footsteps on the sandy beach.
"Uhh, guys!" Mission made a face as she walked towards them. "Can't you wait to do that stuff until you're by yourselves?"
Carth almost growled. "We were by ourselves, Mission."
"Geez, someone's testy!" Mission teased him. "Besides, I could see you guys from the path."
Carth rose to stand and picked up the wine glasses before offering her a hand to help her stand. She took his proffered hand with a small smile as she stood. As they made their way towards the entrance of the ship, the rest of the crew (minus the droids, who were already on the ship) were walking down the path to meet them.
Canderous proudly held up two whole bottles of Toniray wine. "C'mon, let's celebrate!"
"Really, Canderous!" Bastila shook her head at the obviously nipped bottles of wine.
"What?!" Canderous gruffed out. "We earned them!"
Ashla laughed. She was really going to miss everyone when they all went their separate ways, which was inevitable. She walked up the ramp hand in hand with Carth.
Bastila walked up the ramp behind her. "Ashla, why is your face so pink? You didn't over-exhaust yourself, did you? Remember, the doctor did advise you to take it easy for a few days."
Ashla's already pink face deepened a shade closer to red as Carth stifled a laugh.
Canderous paused beside Bastila and leaned in close. "Oh, I think I know what's to blame. I could show you later, if you want," he said suggestively. He gave her a wink as he walked past her into the ship.
Ashla motioned for Carth to go on ahead while she hung back with Bastila, who was staring open-mouthed at Canderous' broad back as he walked up the ramp. Her face was taking on a very rosy hue.
Bastila blinked rapidly. "Ashla, was he...was he flirting with me?"
"Um...yes, I believe he was." Ashla said, holding back a smile.
"Why...I." Bastila seemed to be at a loss for words.
Ashla smirked. She waited to continue the conversation until everyone else had gone on inside, leaving only the two of them on the ramp. "Well, you are a very attractive woman, Bastila. And, it's not the first time he has flirted openly with you."
Bastila turned her wide eyes to Ashla. "But...he's like...twice my age!" She paused, "wait- what do you mean, it's not the first time he's flirted with me?"
"Ha! Bastila, he's been flirting with you since Tatooine! Surely, this isn't the first time you've noticed?" She giggled as she took Bastila's arm and looped it with her own. She paused, debating on the best counsel to give the younger Jedi. Especially considering her own experience with men was extremely limited.
"He has?" Bastila flushed. "Well, he is quite handsome. And, very well...ahem...built. But, he's so much older than I."
"Bastila, age is only a number." She grabbed her friend by the hand and pulled her into the ship with her. "C'mon, Bast! Let's go inside before they drink all the wine!"
By the time they walked into the common area, Mission had the music going and Carth was pouring wine for everyone. They knew this was to be their last time together as a crew...as friends. They laughed. They told very bad jokes. They sang along with the songs. Most of them Ashla couldn't remember, but she sang along anyway.
Once the wine was empty, Canderous pulled out his stash of Corellian whiskey and poured a round for everyone, even Mission. However, at Carth's glare, the Mandalorian only gave the young Twi'lek enough for a few sips.
Then, as the night wore on, the party began winding down.
Ashla suggested that the droids shut down and recharge for the evening. She looked around the room. "So, what's everyone's plans now that the mission is complete?"
Juhani emitted a soft purring sound. "I will be returning to Coruscant with Master Vandar. He told me this afternoon that Belaya survived the destruction on Dantooine. She's at the Temple, waiting for me."
Ashla knew what Belaya meant to Juhani, who had been distraught thinking that Belaya had been killed during the assault on Dantooine. "That's wonderful news, Juhani! I'm happy for you!"
She turned her gaze to Jolee, who shook himself awake.
"Ahhh, I'm getting too old for this," Jolee said with a yawn. "Well. Master Vandar has asked me to return to Coruscant. Seems they had wondered where this old fool had gotten himself off to oh-so many years ago...and, now they want a debriefing. Bah!"
Carth exchanged a brief look with Ashla, who gave a quick nod. "You can come back to the capital with us, Jolee. If you want, that is. Dodonna has asked me to report back to her office when we return to the capital."
"Ehh, I figured you kids would want some time to yourselves. I told Vandar I'd leave with them in the morning." Jolee rose. "Now, if you kids could keep it down, I'd like to get a few hours of shut-eye."
Ashla smiled at the older Jedi as he shuffled to the small medbay where he usually slept. Juhani and Jolee were both leaving in the morning. She had assumed that Bastila would be leaving with them as well. She glanced briefly at the younger woman, who was currently squirming in her seat thanks to something Canderous was whispering in her ear. She smirked at the pair. "Canderous, what are your plans?"
"Hm?" Canderous yanked himself away from Bastila's side. "What's that?"
Ashla laughed softly. "I asked you what your plans are. Are you returning to Coruscant with us or have you made other arrangements?"
"Well," he took a sip of whiskey. "I was planning on flying out first thing in the morning. I ran into one of my clan mates, who was fighting as a merc for the Republic. I've been putting a lot of thought into finding more of my people."
"A worthy pursuit," she murmured softly.
Canderous had spoken to her at length multiple times about his desire to find more of his clan mates and had asked her about the whereabouts of Mandalore's mask and spear since it was revealed that she was Revan. According to Canderous, after she defeated the Mandalore, she had taken both the mask and the spear, then hid them, thus leaving Mandalore adrift without leadership. One could not be named The Mandalore without them. Despite the multiple times he asked where she had stashed them, she still couldn't remember anything about it. Not the big fight with Mandalore himself, nor where she hid the treasured objects. She understood why he wanted them: to reunite his people and preserve their culture and way of life. She swore to him that if she remembered any details regarding the matter, she would tell him. It was the only thing he had requested when the mission was over.
"Bastila, are you returning to Coruscant with Master Vandar as well?" Ashla asked.
"Well," Bastila sighed softly. "I was hoping I could stay with you and return to Coruscant when you do. I...don't feel quite ready to face all the Jedi at the Temple just yet."
Ashla nodded in understanding. She wasn't sure she was ready to face them either. It was unavoidable, however. Master Vandar had already approached her about reporting to the Temple, post haste, to discuss the matter of her mission. "I told Master Vandar that we would arrive on Coruscant next week, at the earliest. You are more than welcome to stay with us as long as you wish."
Bastila nodded her thanks. Canderous whispered something in her ear, causing her to blush and twist in her seat. The pair got up and quietly walked out of the hold, towards the exit of the ship.
Ashla took a sip of whiskey. It burned down her throat. Her eyes widened at the fiery liquid, eliciting a snicker out of Carth. She poked him gently in the ribs as she turned to Mission. "Ahem. Mission, what about you?"
Mission smiled brightly. "Well, you know I heard from Griff, right? He's on Coruscant and wants me to come live with him! I told him I didn't know about that...especially, considering how he dumped me on Taris! Buuuut, I did send him a message saying I would come see him once we got back to the Core worlds."
"Would you like me to accompany you?" she asked. Mission going off to see Griff alone gave her a bad feeling, even though Mission told her Griff swore he had changed.
"Oh no, that won't be necessary. Big Z's coming with me!" Mission beamed.
Ashla nodded to Zaalbar, who huffed in agreement. "Are you leaving with the others in the morning, or would you like to stay with us?"
Mission looked at her with hopeful eyes. "I'd like to stay, if that's okay?"
Carth got up and knelt before the young Twi'lek, taking her small blue hands in his own. "Mission. You can stay with us as long as you'd like. You're family."
"You mean it? Really?" Mission's eyes were like saucers. At his nod, she leaned over and threw her arms around his neck. "Oh, thank you, Carth!"
Carth patted her on the back, then walked back over to sit beside Ashla. "Zaalbar, that goes for you too. Though I figured you knew it already."
Zaalbar huffed softly. "Thank you, Carth. I am honored by your words. I had planned on remaining to honor my life debt to Ashla before I returned to Kashyyyk."
"Zaalbar," Ashla said quietly. "I told you I never intended on enforcing that. You are free. Free to choose how you want to spend your life...and who you want to spend it with. You are welcome to stay with us as long as you like."
Zaalbar moaned out a thank you, then left the common area for the dormitories.
Mission stretched her arms out wide and yawned. "Wow, it's getting really late! Phew! I'm callin' it a night." She grinned at Ashla as she sauntered out of the common area.
Juhani smiled at them, then bid them a good night and followed Mission, leaving them alone in the common area.
Ashla sipped on her whiskey. The burn did little to calm the sudden fluttering in her stomach. Carth set his glass on the table and stood up. "Come on, I have a surprise for you."
"A surprise?" Ashla set her glass beside his, then grabbed his hand as he led her towards the cargo hold. "Oh, is it my birthday?" She grinned up at him as they paused before the shut cargo hold door. She looked curiously at the door. She had been wondering why every time she had tried to go into the cargo hold, one of the others would call her to ask her a question or whisk her away from the ship.
"Tsk, tsk...Can't even remember when your birthday is, beautiful?" He teased her, chuckling softly. "Close your eyes. No peeking - not even with the Force."
Ashla closed her eyes as requested. She felt his hand cup her elbow and lead her into the cargo hold. She heard the door shut softly behind them, and lock with a quiet click.
"Just wait...another minute," he mumbled. There was a soft shuffling sound as he moved across the room. Ashla heard a soft mew, bringing the corners of her mouth up in a smile. Then, she heard the door opening again.
"No peeking!" Carth said with his back to her. He sat the loth-cat down in the corridor, whispering for him to go find Mission.
Ashla heard the door shut again and lock with a click. "Can I open my eyes yet?"
More shuffling.
"Not yet," he mumbled as he fumbled with the lamp, turning it on. A soft glow lit the room. He spun around the room, making sure everything was in place. "Okay, you can open your eyes."
She opened her eyes slowly, letting them adjust to the softly lit room. Her breath caught as she looked around the redecorated room. "Oh, Carth…"
The cargo hold was gone. In its place was a captain's cabin, complete with a platform bed, bedside table, wardrobe and a meditation mat in the corner. The few crates that remained were neatly stacked in one corner of the room.
She trailed her fingers over the soft material of the silver bedspread, embroidered with the Republic emblem in reds and blues. "How did you manage all of this?" She asked puzzled, as she explored the room. She opened the wardrobe. Inside hung all of her robes, neatly arranged. In one of the drawers, she found her various armor pieces. In another, all of her under garments were neatly folded. Plus, she noted that her clothing only took up half of the wardrobe.
"Well… uh, I called in a few favors while we were waiting for you to get released from the medbay. The bed and furniture were scavenged from a freighter that Canderous found crashed on the planet, not far from here. I pulled a few strings to get the bedding materials from the Fleet Commissary. " He grinned as he sat on the bed and bounced lightly. He nodded to himself, pleased with how the bed felt under him. "Anyway, uh...Everyone pitched in to fix up the room for you."
Ashla was blown away. She had never grumbled about sleeping in the hold. "I didn't mind sleeping on the mattress on the floor, Carth. You didn't have to go to all this trouble."
"It wasn't any trouble," he said as he rose and crossed the room. He took her hands in his own. "I wanted to do this for you. We wanted to do something special for you because you have helped all of us, in one way or another." He brought one of her palms to his lips. His eyes locked with hers as he brushed his lips over her knuckles. "Do you like it?"
Her knees suddenly felt weak. "Yes, I love it. I, um, noticed there's room for your things here, too. That is," she stammered, "if you would like to share the space with me."
He twirled her in his arms, holding her close to him. "I have to admit," he murmured into her ear. "I was hoping you might say that."
She leaned back against him and craned her head towards his as his lips descended to hers. His kiss took her breath away. Before, when he had kissed her, his kisses had been tender, gentle and sweet - almost as if he had been holding himself back. Tonight, while at first soft and questioning, his kisses were full of passion. It was as if he couldn't get enough of her. She licked her lips, savoring the taste of him on her, sweet from the whiskey.
His breath was warm against her ear, sending shivers of delight down her spine. Her heart pounded as his hand slid down to release her belt. It fell to the floor with a clatter as he brushed her long hair to one side and nibbled along the back of her neck.
Her eyes fluttered closed as his fingers touched the ties at the right side of her waist that held the green robe folded closed.
"Ash, is this okay? If you want me to stop, I will."
"It's alright," she said softly as she ran her hand up around the back of his neck and let her fingers curl into his hair. His breath was hot against her ear as one side of her robe fell open and he untied the strings on the left side of her waist.
"You Jedi wear too many damn layers," he whispered huskily as the inside flap fell open revealing the cream colored undershirt beneath. He kissed her softly along the top of her shoulder. She let out a small gasp as his hands curled around the fullness of her breasts. She arched her back to meet his touch, moaning softly.
Turning her in his arms, he whispered, "I want to see you." His lips were a breath away from hers as he pushed her robe off her shoulders. It fluttered to the floor softly. Her spine tingled as his fingers touched the hem of her undershirt and gently lifted. He paused, giving her a questioning glance.
"Yes," she murmured softly as she leaned back so he could lift the shirt over her head. It landed on the floor with the discarded robe. Her fingers nervously began undoing the toggles on his orange jacket, then unzipped it slowly. She ran her hands up his chest to slide the jacket off.
"I want to touch you..." he said breathlessly as he eased her down on the bed. He removed her boots with two quick motions and then knelt in between her thighs. He leaned her back until she was laying across the bed. "Kiss you here…" his hot breath blew across her stomach as his lips lightly touched the toned plane of her abdomen. His fingers lightly brushed over the swell of her breasts mounding slightly over the top of her bra. He deftly undid the front clasp, and let fall open. His mouth was on hers again as his hand covered her, massaging gently. He moaned softly against her lips. She fit against him perfectly, just as he had imagined she would.
She gasped in pleasure as he settled himself in between her thighs, hard and unyielding. The quickening of her pulse thundered in her ears as she squirmed underneath him.
"And here…" he whispered as he kissed her chest, taking one of her firm breasts into his mouth. "Definitely here," he murmured as he suckled the other breast, while squeezing her firm derriere.
"Carth…" she breathed his name as she writhed under him. She slid her hands under his shirt. He inhaled sharply and reached up behind his head, yanked off the shirt, and threw it to the floor. His muscles tightened as she lightly ran the tips of her fingers down his chest, her fingers slightly curling through the light dusting of dark brown hair that ran down the length of his well defined abdomen. His skin prickled as her fingers neared his waistband.
He pulled her hand away and kissed the inside of her palm, then held both her hands over her head as he lowered himself to her. She trembled, startled as the warmth of his bare skin rubbed against hers. He explored the curves of her body with his hands and his mouth, nibbling and sucking, as he fanned the flames spreading through her like wildfire. His nimble fingers found the drawstring at her waistband and tugged them off, leaving her clad only in her black underwear.
A cool breeze floated over her, sending goosebumps over her flesh as his warmth left hers. He stood and lifted her in his arms as he placed her in the center of the bed, then settled himself beside her.
Laying side by side, he smoothed the hair from her brow. His lips touched her gently. "Are you sure, Ash? We can wait as long as you want. I'm not going anywhere."
"Yes, I'm sure," she said, her voice thick with desire. ""I want you," she breathed in the citrusy scent from his aftershave lotion as his mouth descended to hers again.
Her admission shook him as he struggled to maintain control. He rolled over and sat up, kicking his boots off, one by one. His hands trembled slightly as he reached for the button on his waistband. He took in a deep breath as he stood, pausing until he felt more in control and not like he was going to explode the next time she touched him. His heart was racing as he turned his head to look down at her, her hair was spread out over the pillow, a startling deep reddish-brown against the pillowcase. He sank his knee into the bed beside her as he stretched out over her, covering her with his warmth. He murmured her name in her ear as he gently lifted her tightly curved bottom and slid off the last small piece of fabric. "You're so beautiful," he breathed into her ear as his fingers trailed up her silky thighs and touched her at her core, sending shock waves rippling through her, chasing away all thought.
Her hands gripped the sheet under her as she strained against him. Her hips rose to meet his hand as she gripped the sheet tighter and moaned out his name. His touch ignited a hunger deep inside of her that demanded to be sated.
He thought he couldn't take much more...he knew he needed to feel her under him...around him, as her soft whimpers of rapture urged him onward. She opened her eyes as he shifted to the side to remove his underwear. She reached for him as he rolled back towards her, his knee softly nudging her thighs apart.
As he hovered over her, she could feel him straining against her, pressing intimately against her. She panted as she gripped his shoulders. Then, his lips were on hers, kissing her with a fiery ardor. He whispered against her lips. "Ash, are you sure you want me to continue? We can stop now, if you want."
"Don't stop," she said as she arched her hips up to rub against the hard length of him.
He reached down and stilled her hips, groaning as she shifted. "You keep doing that and it's going to be difficult for me to take this slowly," he panted lightly. The need to sink himself deep inside of her almost overwhelmed him as he breathed in sharply through his nose. "Ash," her name came out almost like a prayer, fervent and heartfelt at once. He moved slowly, lifting her hips up ever so slightly to help her open further for him. He thrust gently again, this time going slightly deeper, causing her to gasp sharply.
"Did I hurt you?" he asked in concern as he felt her become very still beneath him, her fingers digging sharply into his shoulder.
She opened her eyes and stared up at him as she digested all the sensations flooding her at once. "No," she whispered as she breathed in deeply. "It was...startling."
"Try to let yourself relax," he said faintly as his thumb caressed her cheek lovingly. He trembled from the exertion of keeping himself still while she relaxed beneath him, waiting until her hips softened under him. He watched the expression on her face change as he moved gently inside her. Her head tilted back slightly as her eyes closed and a soft moan of ecstasy escaped her parted lips.
She couldn't think. All she could do was feel. With each small movement he made, she quivered and brought her closer to...something that was indefinable, so close it was almost within her grasp. They moved together as one, climbing ever higher towards it. She tightened her legs around him as she cried out as the intensity heightened to a shattering point.
"Stars," he moaned as she tightened around him. In that moment, there was only her and his need for her to be satisfied, and he lost himself within her. Reaching down, he gripped her hips firmly as he breathed her name, then rested slowly upon her. For a long moment, they laid together, their breath in sync. "I love you," he murmured as he brushed her hair off of her face.
"I love you, too."
#
Ashla awoke slowly. She smiled down at the arm that was wrapped protectively around her. She heard a soft sigh of contentment escape him as she scooted closer to him. She relaxed against him, savoring the feeling of closeness between them.
She thought about what was to come.
Today, Juhani and Jolee would be leaving them. And, Canderous, she thought belatedly, as well.
Now that the mission was over, everything would change. She knew this day would come. However, if she was honest with herself, she didn't really think she'd be alive to see it. The fact that she managed to escape the Star Forge's wrath surprised her.
What to do now that she survived?
Live.
She thought of Carth.
Love, yes, of course.
Love was the answer, was it not?
Love each day like it might be their last.
Love had chased away the shadows from her life.
Bastila's gift of life, and with it friendship. That, in itself, was a type of love. She knew their bond would grow. Change into, she hoped, a sisterhood of sorts.
And, of course, Carth's love which helped her to refuse the darkness that invited her back into its sinister embrace.
She sighed as she snuggled deeper against him.
The lure of caff was strong. Strong enough that it pulled her from her reverie. Rolling over, she kissed him gently on the cheek then rose silently, finding her robe in the dark.
The common area was still quiet, with everyone still in their beds. Ashla set the caff to brew, then tiptoed across the cold metal floor to the refresher.
Afterwards, she poured two cups of steaming caff and stole away quietly back to the hold… Their room, she corrected herself.
Carth woke to the smell of freshly brewed caff. He rolled over to see her dressing quietly, the two steaming mugs placed on the bedside table. He propped himself up as he watched her dress. "Morning, beautiful."
Ashla folded the waistband down over the drawstring of her pants and smiled down at him. "Good morning, flyboy."
He sat up and picked up the mug closest to him and took a sip as he admired her form. "Hmm, a guy could get used to this." He winked at her over the steam rising out of the mug. He set the warm mug down gently, then patted the bed beside him. "Why don't you come back to bed?"
She opened one of the drawers and picked up one of the high necked undershirts, and pulled it over her head. She grinned down at him. "If I come back to bed, we won't get out of bed until lunchtime."
"And...that's a problem, how?" he asked mischievously.
She chuckled softly as she tiptoed back to the bed and sat next to him. "Jolee, Juhani and Canderous are leaving this morning. I don't want to miss saying goodbye."
He pulled her on top of him and rubbed the sides of her hips as he raised a suggestive brow at her, and brought her down for a kiss.
She sighed softly against his lips as she opened for him. Reminding herself that she hadn't wanted to be distracted this morning, she pushed herself up. "Carth...I'm serious."
He responded with a soft groan, then reached for the datapad that sat on the bedside table to check the time. He smiled as he turned it to face her. "Look how early it is, Ash. We have time. Plenty of time," he said huskily as he put down the datapad and slid his hands up under her shirt. She soon forgot her protest regarding the time and their caff grew cold as they lost themselves in each other's arms.
#
"Well, it's about time the two of you emerged. I thought I was going to say goodbye via hologram." Jolee quipped as Carth and Ashla walked hand in hand into the common area. Mission snickered into her bowl of oats, and Juhani discreetly hid her quiet laughter behind her hand. "You might want to go catch Canderous," Jolee pointed towards the garage. "He just left."
Ashla tossed Carth a stormy look as she dropped his hand and raced off towards the garage. She caught up with Canderous, using the Force to accelerate her speed, just as he reached the top of the path.
Canderous turned and gave her a devilish grin. "Hell woman, I'm surprised to see you up and about this early. I figured you had a long night, and would be sleeping in."
Ashla shook her head as she blushed. "You're one to talk," she teased him.
"Heh, well, despite the rumor going around...I am a gentleman. I don't kiss and tell," he winked broadly at her as he chortled.
"Ahh, Canderous." Ashla shook her head as she laughed. "I will miss you, you big nerf herder."
"Eh, well." He smiled down at her, then looked off into the distance. "Hell, I'm not much for goodbyes."
She looked down towards the Hawk to see Carth leaning against the open door frame. "Then, let's not say good-bye. Instead...let's say, until next time."
He waved a hand at Carth, then glanced back at her nodding. "Alright. Until next time, Revan."
Canderous was the only one who still sometimes referred to her as Revan, but she knew he used the name as a title of respect, so she let it slide. He walked off, heading up the path towards some unknown destination.
"Canderous," she called out.
He paused and turned. "Yea?"
"If I remember anything about the mask and the spear, I'll contact you."
Canderous nodded. "Good. I'll send word if I hear any news."
She stood on the path for several minutes, watching him walk away, before she turned and went back to the ship.
A little while later, they waved off Jolee and Juhani. Mission wiped away a tear as the pair walked up the path to meet Master Vandar. Ashla put a comforting arm around her. Zaalbar moaned sadly behind them. She kissed Mission on the top of her head, then walked down the ramp towards the shoreline.
It was a new day.
She wasn't sure what her future had in store for her. Now that Revan was in her past, she was free to become whoever she wanted to be. Perhaps, who she was always meant to be, before the dark times. She felt Carth's arms wrap around her as she watched the sun climb higher in the sky. With him by her side, she had hope for the future because she knew they would face it together.
-The End.
A/N: A special thanks to MasterKriebel for all the wonderful suggestions & reviews, particularly during the first few chapters! Thank you so much!
Also, I'd like to take a moment to thank all of you who have read Ashla's story up to the end. While it is the end of this phase of Ashla's journey, her story is far from over. I am planning a "sequel" of sorts, that will take place in between Kotor1 & after the events of Kotor2, dealing with Carth's search for Ashla (Revan). This is still in the planning stages.
In addition, in order to write a lot of the flashbacks from Revan's time before the fall & during her reign as the Dark Lord, I have been working on a "Before the Fall" story. I will be releasing that when I finish up the editing process.
Lastly, thanks again for reading along! Feel free to drop me a comment & let me know what you think!
May the Force be with you, always.
Cheers ~ Nia