Summary: Lena gets a little worked up when they receive some unexpected mail from Gretchen (Light and fluffy)

Stef walked into the kitchen, flipping through the mail. "Huh."

Lena looked up from the vegetables she was chopping for dinner. "What?"

"There's a card from Gretchen." Stef waved a pristine, white envelope trimmed with gold.

"My Gretchen?" Lena asked as she set down her knife and met her wife on the other side of the counter.

"Yes. Your Gretchen," Stef said with a smirk. Lena pursed her lips and snatched the envelope from Stef's hand.

"Mrs. and Mrs. Adams-Foster," she read. Their names and address were embossed on the envelope in metallic gold letters. "How did she know we took each other's names?" Turning the envelope over, Lena slid her finger under a corner and tugged it open.

"She missed the memo about the hyphen, though." Stef shook her head as she sucked her teeth, still smirking as she feigned disappointment.

Lena pulled a card out from the envelope. On the front were two champagne flutes, their stems tied together. "Here's to finally tying the knot!" glittered in gold across the top. Lena flipped open the card and the message printed inside read, "Better you than me! You're welcome." Gretchen's name was scrawled along the bottom, accompanied by a kiss mark in her signature Sunset Red. A check was folded in half and nestled into the crease of the card.

"Did she really have a custom card made just so she could gloat?" Stef asked, a hint of laughter coloring her voice, sounding more impressed than annoyed.

"Apparently that's what you do when you've got money just lying around." The bite in Lena's words was unmistakable. She tossed the card onto the counter and strode back to her cutting board. Stef watched her, amusement pinching the corners of her eyes, trying to suppress an enchanted smile. The loud thunk of Lena's knife against the wooden cutting board was even more telling and Stef had to occupy herself to keep from laughing. It was never a good idea to laugh at Lena Adams Foster when she was holding a knife.

Stef picked up the card and slipped out the check.

"We're not cashing that," Lena warned without looking up.

When she unfolded it, Stef's eyes widened and she held it out a little farther, double checking that she wasn't misreading it without her glasses.

"Oh, yes we are!"

"No. I am not accepting—"

"Look at this, Lena." Stef leaned over the counter, shoving the check under Lena's nose so she had no choice but to look. Her eyes widened for a second before she shook her head and resumed her chopping. The knife hitting the cutting board was so loud it was threatening.

Stef deflated with an audible exhale, her head hanging forward. There was no use trying to convince her now. She would never get Lena to see past her pride in this state. She folded the check back up and tucked it in her breast pocket before turning to leave the room. She was almost around the corner when Lena muttered just loud enough for her to hear.

"Tacky."

Stef backed into the room, hovering on the edge by the fridge, waiting to see if Lena wanted a conversation or an audience.

"She's so tacky. I mean, who uses money like that to prove a point? She was completely out of line when she was here and now, just because we did end up getting married, which had nothing to do with her—not that she cares—she thinks she's won! It's just… it's tacky!" With one final chop, Lena slammed down her knife and looked up at Stef, waiting for her to back her up.

"Yes, love. It's tacky." She crossed over to the island to stand next to her wife. "But if she wants to prove a point by throwing money at us, who are we to stop her?"

"No." Lena shook her head, her dark eyes narrowing. "The only way I'm cashing that check is if we donate it to Yale in her name."

"What?" Stef stared at her, her face contorted in confusion. "Why?"

"Because Gretchen graduated from Harvard." There was a hint of venom in the prideful way she said it.

"Oh, Lena. That is—"

"Genius?"

"I was going to say petty."

"It's not more petty than that card," she insisted.

Stef made a non-committal noise and scrunched her nose.

"Well." Lena shrugged a shoulder. "Sometimes there comes a point where someone deserves a taste of their own medicine."

It took every ounce of strength for Stef to keep her disbelief from her face. She had, in fact, heard at least a hundred lectures to the contrary from this very woman. Gretchen must have really struck a nerve to get Lena so worked up. She looked at Lena's arched eyebrows and smugly set jaw and bit back any reminder she might have had to offer. She imagined it must be lonely always taking the high road.

"If we cash that check then she gets to think she won," Lena insisted when she still hadn't responded.

Stef failed at stifling a laugh. "Sweetheart, there's nothing to be won here. We didn't get married because of her. We got married because we wanted to. We know that. What she thinks doesn't matter."

When Lena continued to look at her with her jaw set and nostrils flared, Stef took her hands, urging her to face her.

"Did we or did we not get to have the most beautiful wedding either of us could have imagined?" Lena tipped her chin down, pursing her lips into a stubborn pout. "And did we or did we not get to commit ourselves to each other in front of everyone we love so we can spend our lives in unholy matrimony?"

Closing her eyes, Lena took a deep breath, pushing out an exhale through her nose and looking back at her patiently waiting wife.

"We did," she admitted, refusing to let even a hint of a smile make it to her lips.

"Okay, then." Tipping her head to one side, Stef gave her hands a squeeze. "If there's a winner here––and there's not––but if there were… Honey, we hit the jackpot." Stepping forward, Stef ran her hands up Lena's arms to her shoulders. "So let Gretchen have her delusion of victory and let me kiss you under the Eiffel Tower on her dime."

Taking her hands again, she brought them up to her lips and pressed a light kiss to the backs of her fingers, a smile bright in her eyes.

"That check isn't going to get us to Paris, babe."

"No, but it'll get us to Vegas." A smooth smile tilted Stef's lips to one side. "It may not be the City of Love but by the time we're done with it, they just might consider changing the name." Stef winked at her over their clasped hands.

"Okay, fine." Lena rolled her eyes as a grin broke through her pout. "But I'm still going to make a donation to Yale in her name."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, my love," she said before shaking her head and kissing her. Chuckling as she pulled back, Stef gazed at her stubborn, petty wife and decided she couldn't believe she took so long to marry someone so utterly perfect.