HYDE

"C'mon Jackie" I plead with her "Kelso's leaving with Brooke and Betsy soon, and they want to see you"

Jackie barely left my room in the last two days, she only left to eat and go to the bathroom, and even then, I had to basically drag her. She didn't want to see anyone, and I'm the only person privileged enough to be able to spend more than 10 minutes with her.

"Betsy's still here?" She asks, sitting up in the bed

"She is" I say, sitting next to her "She misses her godmother"

"She does?"

"Yeah" I reply, grabbing her hand in mine "Every time she sees me, she frowns and says 'Ackie', and I'm pretty sure that means she's asking for you"

Jackie managed to give me a small, very, very small smirk, and I rub my thumb against her wrist.

"I guess I can see her for a while" She says, and I smile at her "But… I don't want people making a big deal about it, okay?"

"Okay" I say, and I kiss her forehead "Love you"

"I love you too" She says it back, leaning her head on my shoulder. "What time are they leaving?"

"In a few minutes. When I left, Betsy was throwing her sippy cup at Forman" I replied, and she smiled softly again. It's not her usual smile, it doesn't reach her eyes, but I'll take what I can get. "C'mon, they're waiting"

She nodded and ran her fingers through her hair.

"Ugh, I hate when my hair is flat like this" She mumbled. She hadn't bothered putting on makeup or taking care of her hair in those last few days, hell, she barely left my room.

"Still looks beautiful" I say, helping her tie her hair up in a ponytail. I kiss her neck when I'm done, and she kisses my cheek in gratitude and gets out of the bed.

She's wearing my Grateful Dead shirt and a pair of shorts I've found on her suitcase. The bandages in her wrist and knees are very visible, she's not bothering on covering them up. Is this a good thing?

Jackie barely touched her suitcase in those last few days, since she's been staying mostly in my room with me all day, she's been wearing a lot of my t-shirts. I don't mind, I think it's hot, but she never really liked wearing them in public.

"What? Do I look bad?" She asks, she probably noticed I was staring at her, and I smile softly

"You look hot" I say honestly, watching her as she puts her fuzzy slippers on.

"You're a liar, but thank you" She says. I was about to argue with her when she took my hand and entered the basement with me. She frowned when she noticed it was empty.

"They're all upstairs" I answer her silent question "Brooke doesn't like bringing Betsy to the basement, she says it smells weird"

Also, the gang haven't been hanging out in the basement much. Donna said it didn't feel right to just hang out there knowing that Jackie's in my room, crying and going through the hardest moment of her life in general. They all felt useless.

And even though I'm with Jackie all the time, I feel kind of useless too.

Sometimes, she spends hours in silence, just staring at the ceiling with a blank expression on her face; other times, she cries until she can barely breathe. But she was always with me, I didn't want to let her out of my sight and she didn't seem like she wanted me to leave. She's been clinging to me like a lifeline, and it gave me a small feeling of hope. I was afraid she was going to push me away, like she's been doing to Donna, but she isn't, thank God.

But that hopeful feeling was erased when I looked into her eyes and saw they were just as dull as they were the day she received the news about her dad.

Seeing her like this is killing me slowly, I have absolutely no clue on what the fuck am I supposed to do to help her.

"You sure they're not going to make a big deal?" She asks me apprehensively as we reach the kitchen, and I squeeze her hand in reassurance.

"Promise doll" I say, and we enter the living room, hand in hand.

If everyone wasn't looking so gloomy, you'd think Mrs. Forman is having a party.

Everyone is there. Kelso, Fez, Donna, Eric, Brooke, Betsy, even Kitty and… Is that WB talking to Red?

I meant what I've said to Jackie before, Donna talked with Kelso and Fez for hours, and they promised they wouldn't treat Jackie differently. They seem to be keeping up that promise, because Fez hasn't pulled Jackie away from me and engulfed her in a tight hug like he did the last time.

"Hey Jackie!" Brooke is the first one to say something. She was holding a giggly Betsy in her arms. The second the toddler saw Jackie; she raised her chubby little arms.

"Ackie!" Betsy said, beaming at the sight of her godmother, and Jackie let go of my hand so she could hold her.

I smile at the sight. Betsy looks gleeful to see her godmother again, and it's the first time I've seen Jackie smiling in days.

It's not her usual smile, but it's damn better than seeing her cry.

Seeing Jackie with Betsy is so freaking weird. In a good way though. I keep imagining when we're going to have a tiny ankle-biter of our own, if it's going to look like me or her…

I need to stop thinking about that for now. Jackie can barely eat, and we got back together less than a week ago.

Betsy ran her little hands through the bandage in Jackie's arm and I watched everything carefully, afraid of Jackie's reaction. She just bounced the kid on her arms though, making her giggle and forget about her godmother's injured arm.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and I see WB standing behind me. He gestured to the kitchen door and left, which means he probably wants to speak with me alone.

"Jackie" I say, and she and Betsy look at me at the same time. Jackie looks slightly better, and I assume that's due to the very happy baby on her arms "I'll go over to the kitchen to talk to WB for a few seconds, will you be okay?"

She nods, and I press a kiss on her forehead before going to see my dad in the kitchen.

He's standing near the counter, and gave me a sad smile when he noticed I was there.

"Hey son"

"WB man, hey" I say, shaking his hand "What are you doing here? Thought you'd be back in Milwaukee by now"

"I'm leaving today, I wanted to check on you two before I go. She looks better" WB says "Kitty told me about her breakdown a couple days ago"

"Yeah" I mumble "She just spent the last two days locked in my room, though. So… I don't know"

"I'm sorry son" He says honestly "This situation… well, this situation sucks. But she'll get better with time"

"Don't know about that" I reply "Things got ugly man, I've never seen her like this before."

"She's going to need you a lot" He looks at me "If there's anything I can do…"

"Actually, there is. Look man, I know I kind of own the store now, but you managed things for so long and…" I start apprehensively "I want to be with Jackie, in Chicago, at least for this month"

"I can help you out with that" He answers me, taking a card from his jacket pocket and writing something in it with a pen "Remember Dennis, that guy from corporate?"

Ah, the 'Mondays' guy. I'm pretty sure I beat him up at some point. He was probably the squarest person I've ever seen, and I live in Point Place, so that's saying something.

"Yeah, I remember him" I reply, not being able to hide my distaste.

"Don't make that face" WB reprehends me "He's annoying, but he's pretty good with numbers. Give him a call, he might not be able to sell any records, but that's why you hired those other two guys, right? Dennis would just manage the place and do the accountability for you while you're gone"

"I'll do that, thanks man" I reply, gratefully

"And who knows? Once the store/pub is ready in Chicago, you can hire Dennis full time" He suggests, and I frown

"Let's see how things go first" I reply

"Okay then" WB says, patting my back "Give her a kiss for me, would you?"

"I will" I say "Thanks man, really, this means a lot."

He sighed sadly and we said our goodbyes. WB likes Jackie, and I can see that he's worried about her. Seeing Jackie, who's usually such a cheerful and bubbly person like this is definitely weird. And heartbreaking. Anyone who knows Jackie can tell that she's a mess.

This is not her. Her father died and he took a part of my doll with him, I want it back, and I'll be damned if I don't get it.

So I'm calling Dennis right now, because I'm going to Chicago with Jackie tomorrow. She's not going to go through this alone, I'll be there for her every step of the way.

The call with Dennis went well. I gave him all the vital information about the store through the phone, and he'll start tomorrow morning.

So yeah, everything is settled. I just need to talk to Mrs. and Mr. Forman, and Donna, but I think they'll support me in my decision.

I head back into the living room, I was gone for 10 minutes, max, and everything seems okay. Jackie, Fez and Brooke are playing with Betsy, Donna and Forman were talking to Red, and Mrs. Forman was at the bar pouring herself a drink.

"Hey man" I hear Kelso's voice, and I see him standing behind me "We're about to take off now"

"Thanks for coming, I know Jackie didn't actually say anything, but it meant a lot"

"I know" Kelso replies "I've known Jackie for years, and I've never seen her like this before. It's… It's not right man, she has to get better. It hurts to watch"

"Don't I know that..." I mutter, glancing at Jackie, who still hasn't noticed I'm back. Then I remembered something "Hey, can you do me a favor?"

"Anything you want" Kelso says promptly

I take out a tiny piece of paper from my pocket. Those are books suggestions Mrs. Forman handed me yesterday, while Jackie was asleep. She also gave me and Donna some pamphlets about depression that she took from the hospital.

I sigh and I hand the paper to Kelso "Can you give this to Brooke? Ask her to separate those books for me at the library if she can, I'll go pick them up as soon as I arrive in Chicago tomorrow with Jackie and Donna"

I'm going to read every single one of those books. I want to understand what Jackie's going through, and I want to help her the best way I can. I'm not giving up on her, and I'm sure as hell not letting her give up on herself.

"Are those books?" Kelso asks

"Yeah" I say gruffly "I want to know what I'm going to deal with"

"Oh…" Kelso mutters, understanding what I meant "No problem man. Call us once you arrive tomorrow"

"Thanks man" I say "Drive safe"

Kelso patted me in the back and left to go get Brooke and Betsy. I went with him, after all, Jackie's there too.

"You're back" She says, after saying her goodbyes to Kelso, Brooke and Betsy "Is everything okay?"

"Everything is fine" I reply, wrapping my arm around her shoulders. She wrapped her arms around my waist "And guess what? I'm going to stay in Chicago with you for a while"

She looks at me and honestly, I can't decipher her expression. Is she happy? Pissed? Sad? I can't tell.

"That's okay, right?" I ask apprehensively, what if she doesn't want me in Chicago with her?

"I would love that, Pudding" She says honestly, and I breathe relieved "I just don't want to be a burden to you… What about your work?"

"It's taken care of, don't worry" I answer "And you're not a burden, Jackie"

"Yes I am" She whispers, and her eyes fill with tears again, crap.

"No, you're not" I reply, kissing the top of her head "I could actually use a break from work"

She didn't answer me, she just tightened her grip on me and sighed.

"Can we go lie down again?" She says after a couple of minutes "I'm tired"

I just nod. It's been less than 20 minutes since we left my room, and she's tired already. She's not lying, she really is exhausted, so I gesture to Donna to let her know we're leaving and I take Jackie to my room.

Mrs. Forman warned Donna and I about this, and fuck, some part of me really wished she was overreacting when she started listing symptoms for us.

But she wasn't. Jackie was showing more and more symptoms every day.

She lied down on the cot and gently tugged my arm.

"Can you lie down with me?" She asks, and I promptly lay next to her on my cot. She cuddled up to me, laying her head on my chest, wrapping her arms around me and intertwining our legs together.

I kiss the top of her head and my hand goes straight to her hair, I take off the hair tie and I start to run my fingers through her raven locks.

"I'm so sorry" Jackie whispers against my chest

"What? Why?" I ask, still running my fingers through her hair

"For being a mess" She says in the most fragile tone I've ever heard "You deserve a better girlfriend, someone who won't fall apart at every second"

I pull her closer to me, and I press a kiss to her forehead.

"No one's better than you" I say honestly "Don't wanna be with anyone else"

"You should" She says "You deserve better than me"

I shift our positions so I could look her in the eye, and when I do, I feel a sharp pang on my chest. She's serious, she's actually serious, she believes in every single self-depreciating word that's been coming out of her mouth lately, I can see it in her eyes.

Fuck, how the hell can she think those things, man?

"No" I say, looking at her in the eye so she can see how much I mean what I'm about to say "Stop thinking that, alright? You're perfect"

"No, I'm not" She answers dejectedly, with tears falling from her eyes. I cup her face in my hands, I don't want her to look away from me now.

"Yes, you are. Perfect for me" I finish my statement with a soft kiss to her lips, and she sighs and lays her head on my chest again, gently taking my free hand on hers and playing with my fingers.

I can feel the wetness from her tears soaking my shirt, and fuck man, this is torture.

I keep kissing the top of her head desperately, and whispering comforting words in her ear, but she starts to sob again and I feel the back of my eyes starting to burn.

Useless. I feel useless.

A/N: Hi! I'm so sorry if this chapter was trash.

This was another transition chapter, and I have a pretty hard time writing those. Since this chapter doesn't have a lot of plot going on, I feel like it's kind of boring. Again, I'm sorry for that. Transition chapters are a pain in the ass, but they're necessary to the story.

Have you noticed how easily Jackie gets tired? Less than 20 minutes of social interaction with other people was enough to completely drain her energy, even if the conversation was pleasant. That's one of the depression symptoms, and it's not easy. People don't often understand the need of isolating yourself because everything is just so fucking tiring and you just want a break.

The self-loathing is also a real thing, and it's not going away anytime soon.

Just to let you all know, the next chapter will take place a month after this one, and it'll be narrated by Jackie.

It's going to be sad, so please, if you are triggered by any topics related to depression, don't read it. In fact, don't read this story at all, the next chapter won't be the only sad one, there will definitely be more.

I'm pretty active on tumblr these days, and I often give progress updates on my fics, so if you're interested, follow me there.