AN: Thanks as always to the readers and reviewers! The information about Rey's doll came from Wookieepedia.

"Dyad's Blessing, Dyad's Curse"

By EsmeAmelia

Chapter 26

That night, Ben was given a new sleep aid in the form of a little blue pill that he was to take right before bedtime under the medical droid's supervision – and of course, just as he was taking the pill and gulping down the water, Rey appeared, lying next to him, her hair down, wearing a well-worn gray t-shirt, staring at him with wide eyes.

"If you need anything during the night, simply use the buzzer," the droid said as he turned off the lights and left the room, unknowingly leaving him alone with his other half of the dyad.

"Was that a sleeping pill?" Rey asked.

Ben nodded. "They want me on a normal sleeping schedule now," he said with a groan as he leaned back against the pillow.

He heard Rey swallow, and though she tried to hide it, he felt a wave of fear come from her. "Well, that's good, isn't it?"

"Not if you don't want to dream that you're me."

Rey swallowed again. "Well . . . maybe it won't be so bad. Maybe we'll dream of happy memories." She shifted a little to get closer to him. "Here's a happy memory. Back on Jakku I had a doll – a doll of an X-Wing pilot. I made it out of some scrap fabric I'd found and named it Dosmit, after an old Alliance fighter I'd heard stories of." Her voice grew soft, dreamy. "I used to hug him and pretend we were saving the galaxy together and I'd tell him that we'd take off from Jakku together one day." Now her voice was down to a near-whisper. "I left him on Jakku . . . maybe someone's stolen him by now."

Suddenly an image of the tattered little faceless doll showing the wear of having been loved appeared in Ben's mind and he realized that Rey had shared the image with his mind. "It sounds like you really loved him. Maybe someday you can go get him back."

"Maybe . . ." said Rey, "though if someone did steal him, maybe they gave him to another child who needed a friend like I did." She cleared her throat. "All right, now it's your turn. Tell me about a happy memory."

Ben let out a sigh through his nose, already feeling his eyelids getting heavy. "When I was little, if I got sick, Dad and I would lie on the couch together and watch the holovid. He'd cover us both with this big soft blanket and hold me in his arms and I'd feel so warm and protected even with the sniffles." He yawned, imagining for a moment that he was back on the couch in his father's arms. "We'd cuddle with my stuffed animals as we watched the kiddie shows – I think Dad enjoyed those shows as much as I did – and we'd often fall asleep together. Those were some of the few times when it actually felt safe to fall asleep."

"That's so sweet," Rey said.

"Yeah . . ." Ben murmured, hovering on the edge of sleep, ". . . sweet." In his foggy mind he concentrated on the memories of curling up in his father's loving embrace, listening to his breathing, his heartbeat . . .

The heartbeat he'd stopped.

A sharp chill pushed its way through the sleeping pill's haze. The lightsaber, the bridge, his father falling . . . no! No, don't think about that! Don't send her THAT memory!

"Ben?" Rey asked. "Are you okay?"

Ben squeezed his eyes as tightly shut as he could, unwilling to answer, trying to go back to the memories of resting in his father's arms only for the arms to grow stiff and cold, bracing him in a dead vice instead of hugging him. As the sleep aid took effect, it pulled him down into a dark void, still trapped in his father's dead arms.

. . .

Rey lay staring up into the darkness, listening to Ben's slow breaths and occasional snores, afraid of falling asleep despite what she'd told him. Though she'd long outgrown sleeping with her doll Dosmit, she found herself wishing she still had him and could squeeze his soft body. Happy memories, she told herself, happy memories. Han holding her in a fatherly embrace – that didn't sound like a bad thing to dream about even if she wouldn't remember herself.

"And Han Solo, you feel like he's the father you never had . . ."

She gasped, back on the interrogation table for a moment, the foreign presence creeping around in her mind . . .

Ben moaned in his sleep, jolting her back into the real world, yet even in the real world she was lying next to the person who'd violated her mind – not just next to him, linked with him, possibly for the rest of their lives. No, no, she shouldn't think like that, he wasn't Kylo Ren anymore and he needed her to have faith in him . . .

She rolled over to face him, her breath tightening. He'd said she was still afraid of him, but that wasn't true, was it? Not exactly at least, right?

But just thinking about the interrogation table made her flinch in the real world . . .

A long exhale escaped her mouth. Probably Finn and Poe and the others wanted her to have nothing more to do with Ben, but even if the dyad weren't making that impossible, how could she walk out on him after he'd saved her – after he'd almost died for her?

Why couldn't Ben just vanish and at least let her have a little time for herself?

"Happy memories," she whispered, taking a deep breath, "happy memories, happy memories." Her arms felt empty, suddenly aching to hug her doll one more time, and without thinking, she found herself wrapping them around Ben instead. He didn't wake, but his head shifted to nuzzle against her.

What are you doing? she asked herself, wanting to say it was only because missing her doll had made her long to hug something and Ben was just the closest thing available, but no, that wasn't it, not really.

If that were the case, she'd have let go by now.

Children's stories would say getting urges to touch and hug – and even kiss, Rey forced herself to remember, though neither she nor Ben had ever mentioned that to each other – meant they were destined to get married and live happily ever after, but there weren't any children's stories about Force dyads. Especially not dyads with someone who used to be . . .

Rey shook her head as if trying to shake off the dyad controlling her, but still she didn't let go. Maybe the dyad was controlling her. How would she even know which decisions were her own and which ones were the work of the dyad?

No, no, this wasn't something to think about at night – she'd drive herself crazy. Happy memories, she repeated to herself over and over. Happy memories.

But even as she started to drift off, still holding Ben, the twist in her stomach remained.