CPOV
I spent my last twenty four hours before the ball drowning myself in the new iPod, and I didn't tell Alec about the dream I had. He would only tell me the same thing as he did before, so I decided to keep myself plugged into music. In the soundproof room, I blasted the music in my ears and sang as loud as I wanted, and ran through my performance for tomorrow evening a couple of times.
Alec filled my day by playing twenty questions, and it was fulfilling to finally getting to know each other.
"What persuaded you to pursue music?" he asked me, while I ate my lunch.
"The truth is, it's more than just a hobby. My dad passed away when I was fifteen, and my brother and I didn't want to let the grief consume us, so we turned to music. David was with us through it all, and we just ended up forming our little band." I shrugged.
"Your father," he spoke slowly. "How did he pass?"
I knew his tone well; it was the same tiptoe approach that everyone used. I opened and closed my mouth a few times before answering. I set my fork down.
"He was...sick," I said begrudgingly.
"I apologize for being so forward."
"You asked. I answered," I said simply. "It's nothing I haven't been asked before."
"If I may say so, he has an extraordinary daughter. I wish I could thank him for your existence," he told me softly, smiling ruefully.
"I'm going to be honest. He probably wouldn't have liked you," I told him, watching as his face became blank. Then, he smirked.
"Given my history, I would have to agree with that," he admitted. "I imagine he would have only wanted the very best for you."
I shrugged.
"I never got to that point of my life with him, so I'll never know," I said dully. "Travis would be the one to approve. He's quite a bit like my dad, so he'd probably hate you, too." I snickered, despite the bittersweet truth of it all.
"Then, I will make sure that I can have yours," He vowed, lifting my hand to his lips. "Perhaps I will have to ask for your friend's blessing to have your hand in marriage."
"He's pickier than both of them combined," I told him. "He doesn't like you, either. He was really mad when you bruised me."
"That, I am aware of," he said knowingly. "He confronted me about it one evening, while you were asleep."
I whipped my head toward him, a small wave of panic washing over me.
"You didn't hurt him, did you?" I asked threateningly. I wanted to be with Alec, but that didn't mean I was going to let anything fly and overlook everything.
He lowered my hand and frowned at me.
"No. Truthfully, my sister prevented me from doing so. I had planned on using my gift on him," he spoke bitterly. "I did not trust him with you while he was still very much a newborn. He could have hurt you."
"Well, he didn't," I told him, taking my hand back, all business now. "And, I'm not letting you hurt him, either. Don't lay your hands on him. If you want to be with me, you have to take him, too. He deserves just as much respect as I do. He's all I have left, and he's my friend. I don't think it's a lot to ask for that you treat him just like me. I'm not going to hurt your sister, but think about if it was her instead."
His face grew taut, the flash of anger clear in his eyes.
"I would not be happy with that," he mumbled, nodding curtly. "You have my word. I promise to try and be more accepting of your friend."
"Try?" I raised my eyebrow at him.
"You should have come with a warning label," he said, narrowing his eyes at me. "When did you become so demanding?"
He cracked a smile, and I knew he was joking.
"Around the same time you became soft," I shot back. "Are you going to promise or not?"
He growled while we had a competitive staring contest. I folded my arms, and he leaned down close to my face. I almost thought he was going to kiss me again, but I kept my composure.
"Yes," he hissed, pecking me on the nose. "But, are you aware of your friend's behavior toward you?"
I faltered, and not just from his icy lips on my nose. I felt my eyebrows twitch in question.
"What behavior?" I asked, confused, and Alec smirked, standing up straight.
"I had a feeling you were unaware," he commented. "He is very fond of you, very much the same way as I."
Huh?
I immediately protested, opening my mouth to tell him no, that David couldn't possibly feel like that.
Except, a small voice in the back of my mind knew it was true, and it agreed with Alec.
The way he held my hand in the hotel room...
When he said he loved me...
And that kiss on the head...
The way he acted when Danny tried to flirt with me the day before we ended up here...
"What? No! No, no, he doesn't!" I exclaimed, my eyes widening. "We've known each other for a long time, and he never felt like that-"
"He most likely kept silent about it," Alec pointed out. "Cara, believe me. It may not be obvious to you, but his intentions ring loud and clear. He holds feelings for you. I was there when he put you in your bed that night. He made it very clear to me that he would report me to Aro if I were to hurt you again."
"Yeah. That's what David does," I pressed. "He's always been like that. That doesn't prove anything. Are you sure you're not just jealous? Because, I don't like him like that."
I visibly grimaced at the thought of David and I...no. Just no. David was handsome, and goofy, and a sweet person when he wasn't putting up a womanizing front, but I held no attraction for him. I knew that his looks and killer smile alone, both human and vampire, could swoon any female just like Alec, but nothing about him ever appealed to me romantically. It was always platonic between us.
"He was very adamant about me not speaking your name," he added, raising his eyebrow. "I am fully aware that you do not return his sentiments. There is no need for jealousy. I was most definitely envious of him before. You two seem very close."
"We're not extremely close," I reminded him. "He's like another brother to me. He's always been protective of me, like Travis. Look, I know him better than you do. If that's the only conversation you two have had, then you were probably just jealous, Alec. David doesn't feel that way about me. And speaking of David, what about your sister? She's threatened to hurt him before, too. That's not fair, either."
Although Felix had been keeping an eye on David for me, I felt like Alec should know, since we were being open.
"My sister threatened you," he clarified in a low voice, and I nodded. A strange expression crossed his face, and I couldn't tell what he was thinking about.
"Last week, right after we argued about Henry. She said I was distracting you, and that she would kill me if it wasn't for Aro telling her not to. And that's when she threatened to hurt David in front of me, if I kept distracting you. Which, I didn't even know I was doing at the time, so that made it even worse. She said Aro wouldn't stop her from doing it."
His face changed visibly, the more I spoke. His face contorted into something frustrating, and his frame grew tense by the time I finished. I glanced down, seeing his fists clenched. I wanted to move forward and comfort him, but something told me I shouldn't. Instead, I turned back to my food, eating slowly while I waited for him to say something. The morsels moved around in my mouth like stray debris. I didn't focus on the flavor; his reaction was making me just as tense as he was right now.
"What. Else."
I swallowed my food, letting my fork fall onto my plate. His tone told me that he didn't like this very much.
"That's all. So far," I answered quietly, sliding the plate away. I turned back to him, trying not to be distracted by his inhuman beauty.
God, why does he look just as good when he's mad?
And then, his face changed, looking blank and empty, like it never happened.
"Do not worry about it," he said, his voice as empty as his face. I just nodded, getting up from my chair.
"I'm done," I said, glancing at my plate. Alec responded by reaching his hand out to me, and he held my hand on our trek back to the soundproof room.
"You never asked me my favorite color," I joked, trying to lighten the mood.
"Would you mind if I guessed?" he teased back, and I was glad that he seemed to thaw out.
"Guess away."
"Blue?"
"No," I answered, cracking a smile.
"Red?"
"No," I drew out the word, my smile growing.
"White."
"It's purple, Alec," I laughed.
"I can see that," he mused. "It suits you. Any particular shade of purple?"
"I like lavender or dark purple. There's really no in between. What's yours?"
"I hold no favor with colors," he told me. "But, if I were to choose one, it would be green."
"What kind of green?" I asked, figuring his favorite color would be black. It surprised me to hear that he didn't have a favorite color.
He lifted my arm and twirled me around, and then I was right up against his chest. My breath escaped me when I spied the charismatic lift of his lips.
"It's hard to say," he drawled. "What name would you give the shade of your eyes?"
Gosh dang it, why does he have to be so smooth? I can't even be that smooth. I can't even breathe. That's so dang genius, that I don't even know how this guy is interested in someone like me...
"Breathe."
"I don't know," I stammered as I did just that, struggling to find my words. He tilted his head at me, clearly amused with what he was doing to me.
"Does my presence appeal to you?" he teased, smirking at me, which made me roll my eyes. I had to snort at that.
"That pick up line is getting pretty old," I said, opening the door to the soundproof room. "You should invest in some new ones."
I picked up the electric guitar that was plugged into the amp, plopping myself down in the comfortable chair that Alec brought me earlier, before lunch.
And then I wondered...
"You are fiercely wounding my ego-" Alec started, making his way toward me, but I interrupted him with my blurted question.
"How did you get to be so womanizing?"
He was silent, and so was I.
"Are you asking me on account of Camilla?" he asked, his voice empty again. I looked at him, shaking my head.
"I was just wondering," I said truthfully. "You couldn't have been like this when you were a human, if you got bullied so much. I'm just curious as to what caused you to...be how you are."
He stared at me, and I stared at him. His face was too blank for me to read, but his eyes were something he couldn't seem to hide. He looked conflicted again, and...exposed.
"Cara, there are many facets to me that I do not think you are ready to-"
"I want to know," I cut him off. "I asked, so I must be ready. You can't keep everything from me forever. You don't have to tell me right now, but I'm not scared, and I'm not going to judge you."
He was silent, again, as he studied me. I knew this look. It was the same, struggling look he had a few nights before. I hesitated now, pinching my guitar pick between my thumb and forefinger. I felt bad, remembering how he confessed that I somehow expose him for everything he is when he looks at me.
"It's okay," I reminded him. "You don't have to say anything."
I gave my attention to the guitar, picking and strumming a quiet, nameless, absentminded tune. I just needed something to do with my hands, the anxious energy being expelled through my fingers. I started to build a small, anxious, angry tune, knowing I couldn't sing, but I slightly hummed.
"I may be very old, but I am still an adolescent," he finally spoke, and I stopped my movements, gazing up at him. I sat frozen, waiting for him to continue.
"I am forever frozen at this age. Therefore, I cannot mature past it. I will always have an adolescent drive, if you will. Once enough time passes in this life, we need to find activities to entertain ourselves. Felix found his entertainment in music, much like yourself. I chose debauchery, perhaps on behalf of my newfound ability to hold power over anyone."
He smiled ruefully, and added, "Except for you."
"So, you felt invincible," I said simply, though the idea of Camilla with him flashed through my mind again, and rendered me slightly insecure. Of course, I knew very well now that he didn't want her, but it was still new. The thought of however many other female vampires being all over him made me feel sick.
He didn't care about them, he didn't care about them, he didn't care about them, I chanted to myself inwardly.
"Yes," he answered, studying me. "And, I can see that this is upsetting you."
"I'm just...thinking things that I shouldn't," I said, my voice distant. "It's not you."
He was near me before I could take my next breath, his lips brushing across my cheek. It felt nice, and immediately chased my fears away.
"Get Camilla out of your mind," he ordered me, though not harshly; he was almost imploring. I took a deep breath and nodded, closing my eyes at the cooling, comforting sensation of his skin.
"Sorry," I breathed. "Do I need to get rid of the other random, nameless girls, too?"
I heard a growl, and was suddenly on my feet, the room around me becoming a short blur. I felt Alec's icy, marble-like hands in my hair, and then his mouth was on mine for the second time.
Every thought I was having escaped my mind, no longer existing, and all I knew was the electricity awakening my body, pulsing and crackling through my veins. I could feel his lips, how they moved against mine, and what he was trying to say without words. They were full of agony, anger, but tenderness and the long, slow pressure reminded me of his promise, his want for me. I returned the gesture, my hands finding the front of his Volturi jacket. I uselessly tugged him closer to me, my body growing antsy and anxious to have him as close as possible.
Camilla who?
Before my heart could fully escape my chest, he broke away, forcefully putting space between us. His hands were no longer tangled in my hair, and he stood several feet away from me. My lips, once again, burned and tingled in the best way, the intense feeling lingering all throughout my body. I stood, my chest practically heaving, while he regained his composure with his eyes shut.
I desperately wanted more, and I could feel my body itching and screaming at me to just march right up to him, but I stood my ground.
Good lord, what was that? God, that was...
Hot?
Jeez, maybe I have more of a problem than Alec does right now.
My mind swam from the sensation, and I knew that I wanted to say something, but my mouth formed no words. He came back to me, pressing his lips to my forehead.
"I had better control of myself that time," he appraised himself. "Do you understand me now, cara? I do not want to hear her name spoken ever again. She is not worth your words."
I found myself, in my dazed state, saying, "Who?"
That second kiss had really done a number on me. I wasn't quite sure if I remembered my own name at that moment.
All I heard was his amused, musical, deep laugh, before he inched toward me again.
"Exactly," he murmured, before the heavenly sensation of his lips came upon my own again.
~~~~~~~~~~S~~~~~~~~~~
When I woke up the following morning, I had no memory of coming to bed on my own.
However, I did remember what today was.
This was it.
Tonight, I would be singing in a sea of vampires, while they watched me like a zoo exhibit.
And, I was not looking forward to it.
I rubbed my eyes groggily, not quite waking up as easily as I usually did.
I remembered basically making out with Alec, and then him asking me about my guitar skills. He even asked me to play for him, and I did. I remember practicing my song one more time before bed, and Alec carrying me there.
Now, looking around, I noticed that the beautiful boy wasn't here with me. I sat up, planning to look for him, but my bladder protested.
Knew I shouldn't have drunk all that water before bed last night. Ugh.
I stumbled into the bathroom, deciding that I would look for Alec after I took care of business. When I began my descent, I immediately noticed it.
The ache. The familiar ache that had been coming and going for the last week, except it was stronger than before.
I groaned quietly, plopping down on the toilet to pee. I rested my elbows on my thighs, rubbing my eyes once again with the heels of my hands. When I opened them, I caught sight of the inside of the inside my underwear.
Or, rather, the familiar reddish-brownish smear staring right back at me.
I froze.
My period.
I got my period.
Suddenly, it all made sense. The ache, the cravings, the mood swings...
"God dang it," I whispered to myself in extreme frustration, finishing my business and slapping a new pad on the counter.
I had completely forgotten about expecting my period. I remembered now, that I had my period around my birthday, and then two weeks later, we arrived here. This was the last thing I needed, and to make matters worse, one thing was running through my mind.
I was on my period, in a castle full of vampires.
And, tonight was going to be that much more difficult.
Feeling the cramps in full force, I realized why it had been so hard for me to wake up. The sudden drop in my estrogen levels rendered me fatigued, and I grumbled to myself angrily as I went to the closet and yanked my clothing choice off the hanger.
"God, stupid, freaking period. Just what I freaking needed," I muttered, tears stinging my eyes. I wanted nothing more than to curl up in my bed and cry. The first day of my period had always been the worst, and the most emotional.
Instead of taking a shower, I filled the tub with warm water and bubbles. I didn't like baths, but if I was going to be standing in heels with cramps and bloating, then I was okay with soaking for a bit. I would take anything that would kill this pain.
I lowered myself in the water that was nearly hot, leaning my head back in relief. The heat immediately started to work on my aching back, legs and abdomen, and I let myself relax.
I have no idea how I'm going to get through this today.
I sat until the water was cool, and decided that I would shower later. When I was dressed, I marched myself right back to bed. The bedside clock, glaring nine o'clock, told me that I could sleep for a few more hours. Part of me wondered where Alec was and what he was doing, but I was tired more than anything. I was sure that Heidi wouldn't need me until late afternoon, and I couldn't find it in me to do anything else except sleep. I settled myself deep into the comforter, curling into a ball like I planned, and drifted off.
A feminine giggle, high, sultry, and musical, could be heard faintly from around me. I didn't know where I was; the place was gray, dark, and unclear. I ventured forward, trying to make sense of my surroundings.
A low, sexy, musical voice followed the giggle, and I followed it, a sinking feeling creeping into my stomach. I knew that laugh.
The room became clearer, only to see that it wasn't a room at all, but the dimly lit hallway of one of the floors of the castle. I wandered further down the corridor, the voices becoming closer and clearer.
"Alec," the feminine voice shimmered and moaned, the same giggle following her words. "Oh, it feels so good to be yours again."
My body grew cold, the feeling of ice shooting through my veins crippling me. My feet moved faster, rounding a corner...
"You will be mine, and mine alone," Alec crooned to her, his voice dripping with sex and seduction.
My body froze as I took in the scene before me.
Alec, my Alec, pinning a beautiful bombshell blonde against the stone wall, his lips devouring her neck, kissing it feverishly, hungrily. His hands roamed all over her body, expertly and teasingly, before he hiked her leg up around his waist.
Her head fell back in pleasure, and even though I was the audience member, I knew for a fact that she knew I was watching. The woman moaned, easily crushing Alec to her body with her immortal strength.
"Tell me again, why you ever considered being with that human?" she asked airily, her words glossed over with the enjoyment she had from him.
No. No. No. This couldn't be.
My Alec. Mine.
I couldn't move; I could only listen, paralyzed, while I watched it all unfold to my horror.
"What human?" he retorted, and an evil, seductive chuckle erupted from his throat. "She is nothing. You know you are what I want, my sweet."
The woman's mouth slowly smoothed out into a grin, willing her face to be more beautiful than before. Glorious, golden waves fell down her back, appearing longer from her head being tilted back. Her features were beyond compare, and I knew, then, who I was looking at.
Camilla opened her eyes, bold, bright and screaming red, staring straight at me with a knowing, evil, gleaming smile. I watched her lips move with silent words, but I heard her loud and clear.
"He's mine now."
I felt my chest heave, an incomprehensible pain shooting through it, bringing me to my knees. I struggled to breathe, the scene progressing before me.
"Cara," I heard from far, far away, so far, that I almost missed it.
"Cara," it called again, soft and sweet, but my heart was shattered, and my body was paralyzed.
"No," I felt myself mouth silently. "No. No. No! No!"
"Cheyenne!" I heard as I bolted upright, the echoes of "No!" lingering in my head.
"Cheyenne," Alec's voice caressed my ears, his hands cradling my face tenderly. "Tesora, it was just a dream. Look at me."
His voice blanketed over me, soothing and reassuring, but the uneasiness in my stomach remained. His voice did almost nothing to calm me. I couldn't get the image out of my head. Him, all over her, dismissing me so easily as if I never mattered.
I felt the ice in my veins, the coldness that my body held, despite being cocooned with the comforter. I felt my body trembling, but not from the cold.
Reluctantly, I did as he said, his face studying me deeply, his eyebrows knitted together in concern.
"What happened, cara?" he whispered, and hearing him speak so tenderly to me made it hard to believe that he had been so cold and callous in my dream, so uncaring and uncouth.
I shook my head, trying to tell myself it was only a nightmare, something that would never come true. I covered one of his hands with my own as I lowered my head, trying to bring myself back to reality.
"I..." I choked. He'd convinced me enough times that he didn't want Camilla, and I had no reason to let this get to me. But, seeing it had floored me.
"It's just jitters," I said, looking at him.
However, the fact that she was going to be here in a matter of hours had me in a bundle of nerves, because she was supposedly unpredictable.
"Tell me," he ordered, his eyes scanning over me. "You are trembling."
"It's nothing you haven't convinced me wasn't real before," I said, the eye contact beginning to comfort me. Seeing the swirl of concern in his eyes for me reminded me of yesterday, and how he made me forget all about her. However, my hormones were raging, and my insecurities were coming back to haunt me.
"Tell me, Cheyenne," he said again, firmly.
"I saw...you and...her. Together," I said, my words coming out in a staccato, detached tone. "And I already know you don't want her. It's jitters, really."
His grip became steel as he took me into his arms, his fingers moving through my hair.
Normally, his below-freezing temperature felt good to me, but because of my lady problem, it was nothing short of uncomfortable, and too cold for me.
"Never, ever entertain the thought of me with another," he whispered sharply. "It will never happen. Do you understand me, cara?"
"Yeah," I sighed.
God, these mood swings are awful.
"Did you dream of anything else?" he asked urgently, leaving a kiss on my nose, and it made my heart flutter. I shook my head, feeling my body begin to calm down from his touch.
"Just that," I said quietly. "What time is it?"
I whipped my head to the left, seeing that it was nearly noon now. I could still sleep for a few more hours.
Settling myself back into my little cocoon, I let my eyes close, ready to fall back into a, hopefully, dreamless sleep.
"Are you still tired?" Alec asked, his voice traveling from in front of me, to beside me. His hand swept across my forehead.
"Mmhm," I mumbled noncommittally. "Just a few more hours."
"You have slept the entire night and this morning away," he informed me, his voice quickening. "Are you feeling ill?"
I shook my head, shifting onto my back to try and ease the pain that was shooting its way through my uterus. My hand came up to my forehead as my brows slightly pulled together from the pain.
"Something is off with you," he said, his voice clipped. "You are worrying me, cara."
I barely lifted my lids open, feeling the embarrassment creep up on me already. I shut them again, ripping the bandage off. I sighed heavily.
"I just got my period," I said in a rush. "This morning."
"That would explain the strong scent of your hormone levels," he noted, and I groaned, turning away from him.
"Well, thanks for pointing it out!" I snapped.
I was twice as embarrassed now.
"I have made quite the fool of myself, haven't I?" he said, and I could hear the smile in his voice. "Forgive me, my sweet. I do not have any human-vampire relationship experience. It appears my manners have escaped me. But, please, do not be embarrassed of your situation. If you think I am tempted by it, I am not. Menstrual blood holds no fresh oxygen, and therefore is unappealing to us."
"I wasn't, until now," I grumbled, slowly facing him again. "Just please don't bring it up again. I don't want to talk about it. It's embarrassing enough that I have to go through it with all of you around."
He leaned down, pressing his lips against my temple.
"There is no need to be embarrassed," he said softly. "I once had a sister with the same issue, remember?"
"How do you even remember that?"
"Unfortunately, I don't, at this point in time," he admitted. "However, it is natural for every human female. I may not be human, but I do have knowledge of the female reproductive system."
Yeah, that part is obvious.
"That's what you called her," I mentioned quietly. "In my dream."
He furrowed his eyebrows at me, and I glanced away, suddenly very interested in the thread count of my comforter.
" 'My sweet'," I explained, cringing slightly. "You called her that."
"What did I say about mentioning her again?" he warned me, but then kissed my temple again. He buried his nose into my neck. "I have never, ever once referred to her as 'my sweet'. The thought repulses me so deeply, I may have to excuse myself and regurgitate my last meal if we keep speaking about it."
He growled in disgust, and shook his head against my neck. He lifted his head, his thumb moving across my cheek. It felt much too cold, and I wished I could enjoy it the way I usually did.
"Me too," I said, and we both stared at each other for a moment before sharing a burst of laughter.
"By the way," I added seriously. "Why weren't you here this morning?"
He frowned.
"Heidi would not stop pestering me until she had me fitted for my suit for this evening," he growled. "She told me it would be quick, but it did not appear to be so."
Then, he glanced at the door, rolling his eyes at something. I saw his mouth move, but I could barely decipher what was being said. I assumed Heidi heard him, and I cracked a smile.
"Well, you're not allowed to leave me anymore without my permission. Especially while I'm sleeping," I ordered him for once, reaching forward to trace my finger over his nose, and down to his mouth.
"Is that so?" he asked, perching his brow at me.
"Yes," I said firmly.
"And, who decided on this rule?"
"I did. Just now."
"I think I can follow that rule fairly easily," he stated with a smirk, bringing my hand to his lips. "My apologies, cara mia."
"You make it really hard to be mad at you when you do that," I complained over my stuttering heart.
"When I do what?" he asked knowingly, brushing his lips across my knuckles.
"That," I explained, turning my head to the side with a yawn. "I'm too tired to fight you on it."
"You have not had anything to eat today," he pointed out, and though my eyes were closed, I could tell that he was studying me. "I have not seen you eat anything since yesterday evening."
"Since when did you start keeping track of when I eat?" I mumbled, as his hand left mine and tucked my hair behind my ear.
"It has been part of my duty to know these things, cara," he replied. "Now, you need something to eat."
"I'll eat later," I said sleepily. "I'm too tired."
"I am not going to leave you hungry," he said with finality. "You are going to eat."
"No," I ground out, becoming irritated. I just wanted to sleep! "I'm too tired to eat. I'll eat later. It's not that big of a deal."
"Cheyenne."
"Alec."
"I have duties to fulfill," he told me, his voice lowering. "And, I want you to be taken care of."
The fact that he was talking more and more was beginning to really set me off, and I couldn't contain myself.
"Well, I said I don't want to eat right now, because it feels like someone is shoving a jackhammer right into my uterus, and I'm in pain, and I'm moody, and I'm tired, and you're really starting to annoy the crap out of me! I'd feel a lot better if you could just leave me alone and let me sleep!"
I felt tears gather in my eyes, feeling the usual overwhelming emotions that came with all of this. I turned my head to glare at him, seeing a calculating, stoic look on his face.
God, stupid pretty face that's annoying me right now.
Ugh, but he's also so handsome, look at his face.
Ughhhh, now I feel bad for yelling at him! Stupid hormones!
"Fine," he answered indifferently, planting his lips on my forehead softly. "Would you like me to bring you any pain medication?"
The emptiness of his voice made me feel sad, and I now felt guilty for being so snappy. The tears fell on their own accord, and I just nodded, wiping them away roughly with my hand.
"I didn't mean to yell," I said quietly through my tears. "I can't...it's just hard to explain. It's a lot. It's hard to control my emotions when..."
"Hold that thought," he told me, disappearing without a trace.
I sat myself up, groaning quietly at the pain. I instinctively leaned forward, folding my arms around my middle, leaning forward. I wasn't sure why I thought this would help the pain. I closed my eyes, trying not to focus on it, and failing miserably.
God, this really hurts. Who decided that women should be punished for not being pregnant? Oh, this feels like Felix punched me in the uterus.
"Here, cara mia," I heard Alec say to me, and I opened my eyes to see his palm containing my two favorite white lifesavers with one bold, blue word printed on them: Midol.
I gratefully took them with a swig of water, then finished the glass, thanking him.
"How did you know I needed Midol and not Tylenol?" I asked after handing it back to him. He smiled wryly.
"Heidi informed me that you would want that, rather than normal painkillers," he responded. "She said it would work much better."
I stared at the door for a moment, impressed that Heidi even knew that. They probably didn't even have Midol when she was a human, and yet she was well informed. I wanted to hug that woman.
"She's right," I confirmed, the surprise coloring my tone. I settled myself back down, but Alec had me in his arms in an instant. I made a disgruntled noise, latching my arm around his neck.
"What are you d-"
"You are coming with me," he decided. "Close your eyes if you want to avoid the vertigo."
I did as he said, confusedly. I felt the usual cool breeze that came with his speed and, a few seconds later, it was gone.
"You can open them now, cara."
When I did, he was placing me in another bed; a much bigger one, bigger than mine, and much, much fancier. I recognized the dark, crimson comforter immediately, and my eyes roamed around, realizing this was Alec's room.
And his bed was a heck of a lot more comfortable than mine. It was softer, silkier, and more forgiving than mine.
I ignored the fact that this bed most likely wasn't used for sleeping, and instead took in the wide space of his room, and the ancient, classic look it held. I remembered the rugs that were intricately placed on the wooden floor, the huge bookcase by the door, and the massive fireplace that wasn't currently burning. I spotted an opening towards the back of the room, which was big enough for me to tell that it was his walk-in closet.
Poor Alec. He must be a victim to Heidi's fashion obsession, too.
"Why did you bring me in here?" I asked distractedly, staring at everything.
His walls were painted a deep crimson, almost like mine, and the wooden trim held curved, intricate designs on the corners. He didn't have a desk in his room, unlike Heidi, but there was a lovely, round, dark wood coffee table with a large, leather lounge chair placed in front of the fireplace. This room was so unbelievably Alec, that seeing it for the second time helped me learn about him more. He was classic, neat, and...romantic.
My eyes caught the fireplace again, remembering that night when he took care of me after being attacked. I felt my cheeks heat up at the intense, intimate moment as it ran through my head. He clearly liked to set a mood, if he had this kind of setup. He didn't have much, like Heidi did. No clothes strewn everywhere, no desk with special journals. It was just like him; hidden and mysterious.
"I thought you might be more comfortable in here," he suggested, sliding the silk covers over me. "And, I want to be able to keep an eye on you. Heidi is expecting you very soon, but she is going to need my permission to take you away."
"What do you need to keep an eye on me for? You can do that anywhere," I said, the feathery, buttery consistency of his mattress calling to me. I sunk down into it, noticing just how much better it made me feel. The tightness in my muscles released, allowing the mattress to support them. I was already halfway asleep when Alec answered me.
"You see," he said, speaking quietly. I heard his voice close to my ear. "Nobody dares to come into my dwelling without my permission, unless they want to suffer the consequences. This place is very private to me, and I do not allow just anyone in here. Also, my bedding seems to be much more efficient than yours. I want to eliminate your pain as much as possible, since I cannot use my gift to do so."
I felt my insides melt, and turned my head, opening my eyes lazily at him. I reached up, my fingers sliding across his strong, perfect jaw.
"Hm," I responded languidly. "Let me guess; I'm an exception now."
"Of course," he replied smoothly, his cold, icy lips pressing against my cheek. "Now, get some rest. We can speak about this later."
My eyes fluttered closed, but I continued to speak.
"You said to hold that thought," I reminded him, my fingers dancing their way around his jaw.
"Are you awake enough to finish your thoughts?" He asked, and I could tell he was smirking. I could hear it in his voice.
"Mmhm," I mumbled, remembering what I said while my thumb traced itself across his features. "It's really hard to control my emotions during all of this. So, that's why I said what I said, but I didn't mean it. It's hard to explain. I just get extremely irritated, and I can't do anything about it. It feels like I can hear and smell almost everything, and I get annoyed with the slightest sounds, and hate certain foods. I swear that I can hear people breathing, and it's overwhelming. When people say more than two sentences to me, I want to explode. I don't know what's worse; the pain, or the emotions."
"Do not worry, tesora. You did not hurt my feelings by losing your temper with me," he responded, and I felt his lips quirk underneath my fingertips. "What kind of pain are you experiencing?"
I felt my forehead crinkle for a few seconds as I remembered the pain; I had actually forgotten about it, as Alec was always very distracting to me. I was grateful for it, but finding words to describe it were difficult. No girl could ever explain what it felt like accurately, given that no man could ever feel this pain. I shifted slightly, the discomfort coming back to me, and sighed, opening my eyes to gaze at the ceiling.
"There's nothing I can compare it to," I said truthfully, and a bit frustratingly. "You can't even feel pain. It just feels like...someone's reaching inside and squeezing my organs with their bare hands. I actually was thinking earlier that it feels like Felix punched me. It seems pretty fitting. A much easier example is to tell you to imagine being kicked...down there, and having the pain linger for seven days with no relief. Add bloating, mood swings, occasional nausea, heightened senses, fatigue, and vertigo, and that's pretty much what I'm experiencing right now."
He took my hand in his tightly, and I met his eyes. They were wild, his face almost exhibiting torture.
"I will tell Aro to postpone this evening if you are feeling that unwell," he said, his voice clipped, deathly serious.
"No," I said much too quickly, suddenly remembering my forgotten escape plan. Tonight was an opportunity, and though it may not work, I was still going to try.
Alec, the voice reminded me. What about Alec?
I tried to argue with it, telling myself that it could work out somehow, that I could come back for Alec, or that he could possibly choose to come find me. I wasn't sure, but I would find some way to see him again if I made it out. I would tell him I was sorry, and that I lo-
My mind went quiet.
Love?
Do I love Alec?
Well, why wouldn't you? The voice questioned me. You said you wanted him forever.
Yeah, but it's only been a few days since...
I snapped myself out of it, seeing Alec's confused, calculating stare.
"I'll be fine, really," I reassured him. "I've done a lot of performances like this. I'd rather just get it over with, anyway. I never wanted to do it in the first place."
He merely nodded, his lips touching my cheek.
I barely heard him as I allowed sleep to take me under, and for the Midol to finally work its magic.
"Sleep," he told me. "I will be here when you wake up."
3:38 PM
I woke up on my own, having experienced a dreamless sleep this time, with no images of two aroused vampires all over each other. When my eyes took in my surroundings, I momentarily forgot where I was. I knew this wasn't my room, and it took me about a full minute to remember that I was in Alec's. I stretched my body, feeling more rested than before, and I had most likely messed up my sleep schedule, but I was fine with it. Throwing off my circadian rhythm was part of my job description as a teen.
And, I didn't know how many sleeps I had left until I would no longer be able to.
I assessed myself, thankful that I wasn't having cramps right now. I did have to pee, though, and let Heidi torture me.
I didn't know what time it was, but it couldn't have been so late if Alec didn't wake me up. Taking note of that, I let my eyes close again, and focused on the luxurious mattress that Alec owned. It had to be imported from a special country, because I'd never laid on anything so soft and plush. The mattress on my bed back home was hard as a rock compared to this.
I actually smirked to myself as I considered the fact that Alec may have never brought Camilla into this bed, much less his room, and I was considered special enough to be permitted into a place that was so private and personal to him.
Cheyenne - 1, Camilla - 0. Ha.
I yawned before looking to my left and practically jumping out of my skin.
Alec sat nonchalantly in a chair next to the bed, a now closed book balancing on his leg.
"Have you been sitting there long?" I asked incredulously.
But, his answering smile didn't help my cause any. He expertly tossed the book behind him, and I watched as it landed seamlessly onto the little table near the fireplace.
Dang, that was kind of hot.
Oh, stop it, your hormones are too whack! I chided my estrogen-fueled thoughts.
"For three hours, and thirteen minutes," he answered impeccably. "Did you sleep well?"
"Yeah," I said through a second yawn, rubbing my eyes. "Five more minutes."
I lazily rolled onto my stomach, away from him, shoving my arm underneath the pillow to use it for support. I heard Alec chuckle at me, and I swore that it sounded deeper than usual.
These noises are not calming my hormone levels. Just when I thought he couldn't sound any better...
"You may sleep for another hour if you wish," he said. "There is still a bit of time before Heidi fetches you."
"I wish I could," I mumbled. "But, I really have to pee, and I'm starving."
On cue, my stomach squealed and rumbled like a baby monster, and I rolled back over to face the ceiling.
"I was hoping you would say that," Alec told me, and I knew he was smirking. "I believe you have a meal waiting for you downstairs."
I kicked the silk covers off of me, launching myself out of bed.
"Lead the way, vampire boy," I said eagerly, pointing at the door. He was by my side before I could finish speaking, and raised his eyebrow at me.
"Vampire boy?" he echoed me, looking amused.
"Yeah," I replied slowly. "You're a vampire, and you're a boy. Vampire boy."
"Is that your decided pet name for me?" he prompted.
"No," I said in a small voice, fighting a smile. "But, now that you mention it, it might be a good idea."
I laughed when he growled in response, and he scooped me into his arms as my stomach growled again.
"I really hope you do not plan on any other names such as that," he commented.
"But, I think it's cute," I protested sheepishly. "And, I don't speak Italian, so I can't call you all the charming things that you call me. I don't even know what they mean."
His face changed, then, and he grinned adoringly at me.
"They are terms of endearment," he explained warmly, leaning down to nuzzle his nose into my neck. I heard him breathe in deeply before continuing. "Tesora means treasure, because that is what you are to me. Cara means dear, or dear one, for obvious reasons."
I blushed crimson, feeling even more inadequate with my name choice. I didn't grow up hearing terms of endearment, so I never developed a habit of using any. However, hearing the meaning behind these things turned my insides to mush, and made my heart gallop.
Cheyenne - 2, Camilla - 0, I added smugly.
"Well, now you're making me feel like a bad..." I paused, hesitant to say the word. Girlfriend?
Was that what we were?
Alec stopped in his nose pursuit, tilting his head back.
"A bad what?" he asked curiously.
I felt my face heat up even more as I avoided his eyes, hesitating even more.
"A bad...girlfriend," I said, mumbling the word so incoherently that I hoped he actually didn't hear me; but, I knew better. His hearing was too advanced for my gibberish.
He laughed, throwing his head back, and I hid my face in his neck.
"Why are you laughing?" I groaned, embarrassed, although his laugh had me captivated.
I shouldn't have said anything; now he probably thinks I'm insane!
"Cara," he crooned in my ear, his laugh lingering in his voice. "Look at me."
"No," I refused, my stupid hormones bringing tears to my eyes.
"You do not need to hide," he said soothingly. "I am laughing, because of your reaction. There is no need to be embarrassed about your status with me. If you remember, I was the one who shamelessly posed as your boyfriend in the shopping mall."
"That was just acting," I mumbled, bringing my face out of hiding. "We weren't even together at that time."
His lips kissed the tip of my nose, and he hovered near my lips, bringing me closer to him.
"I can assure you, it was not acting in the slightest," he lilted suggestively, as I stopped breathing. "Had I not been so stubborn, I would have gone so far as to do this."
He kissed me for the third time, more carefully this time around, and God, nothing could compare to this feeling.
Everything around me vanished, and my lips were the ones to be so eager. I pushed mine with more force against his, knowing somewhere in the back of my mind that this wasn't the smartest idea, what with my hormones raging, and his thirst for me unbearable. However, I couldn't help but be convinced by said hormones that it was okay, and I simply couldn't help it. The icy cold of his lips versus the heat of my own seared and tingled with the best kind of electric, burning sensation. It spread across my face, down my neck and all throughout my body, sending my body into a screaming frenzy for the boy I was kissing.
I heard the feral growl in Alec's throat as he met my strength for just a second, before he ripped his mouth away from mine.
"Cara," he growled at me, and the dying flame inside of me whined as it sizzled out.
"Hm," I responded dizzily, my eyelids lifting. My fingers itched to bring him right back to me, but I saw his expression and had to force myself against making that decision.
"Do you believe me now?"
I nodded in my dazed state, my eyes shamelessly glued to his lips.
"Good," he replied in a gravelly voice. moving his lips up to my forehead. "You far surpass the simple title of girlfriend, but you are far from being a bad one. You may call me whatever you like, with one exception."
From the way his tone changed, I knew immediately what he was talking about. I shook my head and was the one to laugh this time.
"Don't worry, I'm not going to call you Aly like Felix does," I promised, just as my stomach snarled again.
Alec stared at me deeply, and I stared back, enchanted by his amused smile.
"So intelligent," he mused, before carrying me toward the door. "We can discuss this much later. Heidi will need you after you have eaten."
I rested my head on his shoulder, my eyes fluttering closed.
"Lead the way, vampire boy," I teased again, and laughed at his playful growl.
~~~~~~~~~~~S~~~~~~~~~~~
Heidi made me take a shower after my late lunch. She sent me right back to my room, where I spent a little extra time under the hot spray after shaving, shampooing, conditioning and washing myself. I allowed the heat to relax my muscles, knowing that the heels I'd be wearing would kill me. Camilla and my escape ran through my mind again, and I was beginning to think it wasn't such a good idea to escape tonight.
I would be a vampire soon, and then I could freely go.
But I want to be human.
I tried not to let the tears sting my eyes as I thought about the loss of children I would have. I stared down at my stomach, imagining myself round and glowing with that third mysterious child from my dream, trying to picture both a boy and a girl that was half Alec, and half me. The two identical children from my dream had been the most beautiful that I had ever laid eyes on, and knowing that they were ours made me want them that much more.
At least Camilla can't have children, I thought to myself, and shuddered at the thought of her with a small, crying child.
It didn't work.
What would I do if she tried to throw herself all over Alec? Would she even try it? Would Alec ignore her? Would she even be able to handle the rejection that was coming her way?
Crazy ex is an understatement, it seems.
Also, if the possibility could ever be there, did Alec even want children? Would he ever want them? Did he hate children as much as adults? Would he try to force me to get rid of my baby if it were to happen by some wild chance?
No, I already decided, the instinct to wrap my arms around myself flooding through my body. I could never let that happen.
I could never go through with an abortion, no matter whose baby it was. If Alec ever rejected our child, I would be heartbroken, but I would go on. There was no way that any child of mine would not deserve to live. Though it was not going to happen now, my morals would stick with me.
I ventured back to Heidi after brushing my teeth, feeling more refreshed now that I was clean. I took my iPod with me, knowing I would be there for a while. She began to work on my hair first, blow drying it expertly the way she did previously.
"Are you excited for this evening?" she asked with a dazzling smile. I had one earbud dangling from my ear, while Hayley Williams sang in my ear loudly, declaring metaphorical war.
This is how we'll dance when
When they try to take us down
This is what will be, oh glory
I just stared at her blankly in the mirror, frowning deeply.
What do you think?
"Oh, you will do fine," she said, rolling her eyes. "I have no doubt that you will impress every immortal in that room tonight; one in particular."
"He won't even be able to really hear me sing," I told her glumly. "My gift is just gonna take them all over without their permission. They're going to think I'm good by default."
Heidi rolled her eyes again, shaking her head at my negativity.
"I know you don't appreciate your gift, but you could at least be more confident in yourself," she said, confidence dripping in her own voice. "For one night. You will be doing what you love, and you will be the envy of every female in the room with Alec beside you. Except for Jane and me, of course."
"I won't exactly be doing what I love," I argued. "I'm being forced to perform something that wasn't my choice, and I'm being showcased. I don't care about being the center of attention; I don't want it. I want..."
To leave.
Heidi sighed, finishing with the hair dryer. She tousled my hair wildly, her hands moving in a white blur.
"Just relax," she soothed. "Try not to think about anything right now. I can smell your hormones. Things become much more tedious when you're menstruating. You might need some more of that Midol before the ball starts."
"Where did you get Midol, anyway? You don't even need it," I asked curiously.
"These boys are not as observant as I," she said proudly, grinning to herself. "I have been able to spot the spike in your hormones for over a week now. I purchased a bottle just in case."
"Thanks," I mumbled, my cheeks reddening.
I sighed lightly, closing my eyes, trying to take her advice. I let every thought leave my mind, and tried to bask in this time I had to myself. I allowed my thoughts to be scattered away with the loud music in my ears. I turned the volume up, listening to the music and lyrics that were being blasted. It didn't take very long for me to calm down.
Oh, Gloria, I feel so much better
I feel so much better today
And it's not the drugs
And it's not the weather
I just feel so much better today
I've been asleep in the driver's seat
I've been lost in my head for weeks
Tryin' to find what it is I need
Too God damn tired to sleep
And then there are other times
I'm so aware that I lose my mind
I never feel I could get enough
So high that I can't stand up
The eighties synth sound sank into my brain, the beat beginning to lift my mood. If I could attend this ball with my ear buds in all night, I would. It was the only thing keeping me sane right now.
Heidi worked silently, only speaking to me when she had to stop my unconscious head bopping to the rock songs that came on. I didn't see what she was doing with my hair, and I didn't care, either.
"I suppose you have some songs of your own loaded onto that little device of yours?" she asked, seeming genuinely interested. I pulled one ear bud out, averting my eyes down.
"I don't write songs," I told her. "I never have. I'm not any good at it. David had some written, but he never got to perform them. He's really talented. He has a knack for writing some good lyrics."
Heidi pursed her lips, using a curling iron on my hair.
"Don't musical artists typically produce music out of personal experiences and feelings?" she inquired.
"Not these days," I muttered. "Any music that's produced today is written for the artist, instead of by them. Most of the time, it's just about sex, depression, or being cheated on, and that's not my type of music. I'm pretty selective about what I listen to. It's one of the many reasons that I don't want to be famous. Anything I sing would just be cookie cutter lyrics. It's all the same."
"What is it that you would write about, if you could?" she asked, and I felt like she was only trying to distract me at this point. I shrugged.
"I don't know," I admitted. "I guess...anything to do with me being trapped here. No offense. I would be singing something authentic, at least. Love songs-they're just not in my pool of performances."
"Is that why you are feeling so unsure of yourself?"
"No," I shook my head. "It's just...not me. It's not who I am. And I see no point in performing anything if it doesn't reflect me, and get my message across. It's the selected audience that is making me nervous. Do you know how creepy it is to have a group of vampires walking toward you like hypnotized zombies?"
"You are under Aro's order to perform it," she reminded me, unplugging the curling iron. "Though, if he is feeling generous, he could ask you to perform more than once this evening. We have many of our kind arriving, and some of them may want to see your gift again. I am sure that once you begin using your gift after your transformation, it won't matter to you."
An idea started to form in my mind, though I had long abandoned the idea of switching songs just to make Aro mad.
"He would let me pick?" I asked slowly. "If that were to happen, I mean."
She shot a breathtaking, gleaming grin at me in the mirror, fixing stray hairs on my head.
If that's true, maybe I could get away after all, I thought. I could distract the audience and Aro enough to get away. If only I could tell David...and Ray!
I would just have to count on Heidi's words, though Aro never said anything about such things. I would have the hope that there could be a loop hole for tonight.
She worked on my makeup next, telling me to close my eyes. I went back to concentrating on the music, pushing the dangling ear bud back into my ear, mouthing the words to the current song.
Just tell me why, baby
They might call me crazy
For saying I'll fight until there is no more
Forget how we felt about each other
It's time to get over
Blinded, I can't see the end
So, where do I begin?
"Is this the kind of music you are interested in?" Heidi asked, sounding disgruntled, as I was probably moving my head again. I stopped, noticing that I, in fact, was, and pulled the ear bud out again.
"Yes," I told her.
"So, you are a rock star," she concluded. "Hm. I guess you do not see many of those, much less female rock stars."
"I wouldn't say I'm a rock star," I said, cringing slightly. "Or even a star in general. I'm not famous, and I don't want to be. Remember?"
"Just because you are not famous, doesn't make you any less of a star," she scoffed, her heavenly scent wafting around me. It was calming, the femininity of it calming the surge of hormones, rather than spiking them. "You don't need fame to dictate your abilities, sweet girl. You are, in fact, a star, all on your own. You just don't see it yet. I bet, that if you were to write something of your own, you would see it. You have everything right in here."
I felt her cold fingertip tap my chest, as she continued to put stuff on my eyelids.
"Once you realize that power you hold within you, one day, you will see what I mean," she finished, her voice soft and gentle.
I didn't respond, falling back into my music oblivion. There was nothing powerful or good about my gift. It was manipulative, and being used for Aro's own selfish, greedy desires. Heidi and I had already discussed this, but I just didn't see how my gift could be a blessing. I didn't want to be powerful; I didn't want to be a bad person who killed people, and I most definitely didn't want to work for an evil vampire whose intentions were nothing but ill. He only planned to bring destruction, and with me in this coven, it would only be worse. I could never be as powerful as Heidi claims me to be, and I never would want that for myself.
"Relax," Heidi told me again. "Your face muscles are becoming tense."
I reluctantly obeyed, letting Justin Bieber's pre-puberty voice echo in my mind.
Never say never.
LOL I know, that ending is so unexpected. Don't judge me for liking Justin Bieber! I actually didn't start liking his music until he came out with Purpose in 2014. Never Say Never and That Should Be Me are the only two of his old, old songs that I know. I was a full on anti-Belieber for yeaaaaars lol, but now I think he's super talented, and I actually like his music. Anyway, I'm splitting this up into two parts, because I wanted to put the fluff in this chapter. I wanted you guys to see how Alec handled Cheyenne being on her period xD It's a lot easier to write about my character being on her period when I'm on it, too. So, shout out to my period this last week for wrecking my body and making me moody as heck.
I'm sorry, I know y'all are wanting the ball chapter already. It's gonna be after this chapter. Keep reviewing, please! I love reading your reviews. Also, I'm recovered from Lasik, so imma get right to work on the ball chapter. This has been coming for a loooong time, so I hope you guys are ready. Make sure to check out my Twilight edits that are posted in my profile, and my Tumblr page for any face claims and outfits! Shychristmasfood is my Tumblr name, and also check out the playlist for Siren that is also in my profile! I have added more songs to it, so go check them out! As always, thank you for sticking around and being patient. This chapter is named after shut up by Greyson Chance, considering all the Camilla talk that came up xD