"It will be okay, Qrow ... you can leave me."

"No! Don't say that! You know it won't go well at all!"

"Don't cry, Qrow, I promise I'll be back."

"No ... Summer ... I don't want to leave you ..."

"Goodbye …"

I remember perfectly how you abandoned yourself in the dark: with the weapon in your hand and the gaze of a warrior. It seemed that nothing could stop you.

But it wasn't like that.

Right?

Tai still blames me today for what happened to you, he believes it was me who abandoned you ... and in a way ... he's not completely wrong. I should have fought with you but I was too scared. The terror of death prevented me from following you into the abyss and it was also what caused your death.

'What if I had been braver?' No. It wouldn't have made any difference. My Semblance would've killed her anyway.

'What if my Semblance had been the cause of her death?' Yes ... that's another stone for my chariot. A wagon that I've been pulling alone for years.

Drinking is not like therapy but for me, personally, it's good palliative care. Better to be drunk than waking up every day knowing that the people around me could die because of me.

'Am I weak?' You can swear it. Shit, I think I'm the weakest Huntsman that ever lived.

I may be pathetic but what else can I be?

How can I be a hero if the people around me get hurt because of me?

How can I protect Ruby if I am the cause of her mother's death?

No.

Sorry.

Forget about it.

Better drink on it.

You know, Summer, it disgusts me to admit that it's hard sometimes to look Ruby in the face. When I see her, you come to my mind and then I feel my heart heavy with pain. I would like to go back and throw myself with you. Better death than this, don't you think too?

Are you sad for me?

Sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry, mine are drunk talk. Ignore them, maybe it's better this way.

'Drinking hurts me more and more.' So what? The body suffers but at least the mind is silent. I hate my memory. It's too free.

If experience is the name we give to our mistakes then I would like to know what name we should give to our successes. I, mine, call them 'fantasies'.

Am I too pessimistic? Maybe. Maybe it's better not to talk about it anymore.

Another drink should make me smile.

'What about Clover?' Forget it. Give me another drink.

Just talk about the past.

'Maybe I should feel responsible for the death that surrounds me.' Why? Why should I? Maybe it's not my fault! Maybe it's their fault! Maybe it's others who have to hold themselves responsible! Maybe Summer's death was Salem's fault! Maybe Clover's death was Tyrian's fault! You can't even prove Beacon's downfall was my fault! Or that Lionheart's death was my fault! Or that time the train was attacked by the Grimm! Or Ruby's wound!

'Was Ruby hurt because of me?' Why do you say that? Why do you say that? Why are you fucking saying that?! Be quiet! This is not the time to think about certain nonsense! It will not be repeated! It won't happen again! Ruby is not Summer!

Stop it!

Sorry.

I didn't want to raise my voice.

I need a drink.

You know ... I hate Jimmy. I've always hated him. Do you know why? Because he's idolized by everyone. He's the man who takes on all responsibilities! He's the man who faces all enemies with his head held high! He's the man who is not afraid of anything! And me? I'm the coward. I'm the one who attacks from the dark and I'm also the one who doesn't want to take any responsibility. So what? Why should I do act like that man and take all responsibility? It's easy for him… he doesn't have to live with a Semblance that hurts people. It's easy for him.

And what harm is there in leaving responsibility to others?

What's wrong with me wanting to unload that cart of stones?

What's wrong with wanting to feel free?

No.

Forget it.

Maybe you are right.

I have to take another stone, put it on the cart, and start towing again.

What else can I do, right?