Author's Note: Prompt suggested by Wandering_Reader365

I is for Incident

He had failed. There was no other way to say it. Yes, the little tail dragger had missed the airstrip when they had come into the landing, but if Pulaski had been just a little bit faster…

"You couldn't have saved him." Blade leveled a look at the yellow and blue fire apparatus that rig wonder if the helicopter could read minds.

"But…"

Blade gave him a look that stopped Pulaski's words in his throat. "But what? You have a time machine hiding in your firehouse because that is the only thing I can think of that would have helped because that aircraft was dead on impact."

The words struck deep in Pulaski's engine, but not deep enough to chase away the guilt. He was a firefighter. It was his job to save people from their firry fates, not simply be a bystander to them. Sitting here with the blank TMST Fatal Incident form laying in front of him just managed to punctuate just how badly he had failed today.

In many ways, he knew he should have been pleased by today's performance. Pulaski had reached and was applying water to the flames at the crash site within 45 minutes of the aircraft going down. By the time Rake arrived five minutes later, both the vehicle and the surrounding vegetation were thoroughly extinguished…unfortunately when Rake approached the wreckage of the plane it was pretty clear that the flames were not the only thing that had been extinguished.

The rest of the day had been a whirlwind. The Piston Peak Air Attack Team had arrived within 30 minutes of the incident and they had done a much better job of chasing away the looky-loos than either he or Rake could have managed. Pulaski didn't care who you were, there was no way that anyone was going to get past Avalanche when Cabbie was backing up. The TSMT team arrived a few hours later and started to process the scene. While several of the vehicles photographed and cleaned up the crash site so that the lodge's airstrip could return to operation, another pair of vehicles started interviewing witnesses and grilling Pulaski about his response.

Then, as soon as the TSMT agents had arrived they were gone, leaving Pulaski with a stack of paperwork and the seeking feeling in his engine that he had failed. He had been a wreck the rest of the evening, barely able to string two words together. So, while the rest of the Air Attack Team headed back to base for the night, Blade stated. Eventually, when it became clear that Pulaski wasn't going to make any progress on the forms in front of him, the Chief had sent Rake off to get coffee and supplies…then forced Pulaski to confront feelings that he rather not admit having.

"I know…" Pulaski closed his eyes and trying to swallow the feelings, because while he deeply respected the older aircraft, he wasn't sure if he was ready to fully trust him. "I know...but my gut keeps telling me if I had just been a little bit faster maybe…"

A painful echoing silence filled the firehouse, a silence that made Pulaski want to scream so he wouldn't have to hear the sound of his own pumps pounding in his ears. But into this silence he felt the nose of a helicopter press gently against his side.

"Maru tells me that Nick died on impact." Blade voice was steady but held a deep note of sorrow. "Intellectually I trust him, but there is always a part of me that wonders what would have happed if the flames had put out just a little bit fast." The helicopter softly cleared his throat to keep his emotions down. "I was an actor when it happened, and Nick, Nick was my partner, my world, and I when he crashed, I was powerless to do anything to help as he burned. Maru tells me that he died on impact and that he at least was spared the pain of the inferno that followed…but while I will find comfort in his words, the doubts remain."

"How long does it take for the doubt to go away." For the first time in the conversation, Pulaski allowed himself to lay his fears out in front of the helicopter who was so clearly trying to mentor him through this moment.

"The doubt never goes away." Blades words ripped through the fire apparatus forcing the pain to bubble closer to the surface.

"Then how do you deal with it?" Pulaski barely choked out.

"You learn from it." Blade placed his tire on the pile of unfinished paperwork. "You learn from it, then become faster, stronger, and smarter in the hopes that next time you will be able to make a difference."

"And what if I fail again?"

"You probably will." Blade spoke with a finality that the word 'probably' did little to soften. "But you will learn from those failures too, and while they will hurt as slag, you will eventually learn not to make the same mistake twice."

The moment breathed for a moment, then Pulaski admitted defeat. "I think I understand."

"Good, because we better get these forms done because we need to get you to sleep."

Pulaski didn't argue and bent his full attention to completing the forms in front of him. Blade guided him through the process. Pulaski was surprised about which questions the helicopter had him skip and which one they completed, but he was too tired to make a comment. It was not until he woke late the following morning that he realized what Blade was doing. He had pushed Pulaski to complete the parts of the form that required his personal account and then the helicopter stayed up to finished the rest of the paperwork as Pulaski slept.

"Looking for Blade?" Rake asked when Pulaski finally looked up from the completed paperwork. All the fire apparatus managed was a quick bob on his tires. "He already headed back to base, but he said he would drop by again this afternoon to check up on us."

Rake nudged Pulaski a mug of coffee and the two vehicles sat a sipped in silence. It gave Pulaski a moment to process what he was feeling. The ache of doubt was still there and he was pretty sure that he would feel a stab of pain every time he saw the crash site…but there was another feeling right beside it. It was a feeling of warmth that came with the knowledge that he wasn't facing that doubt and pain alone.