A/N: A quick thank you to everyone who added this story in their alerts and/or added it to their favorite list. It truly means a lot to me.

Chapter 36-

Bella's POV-

"Bella, the thing is…." Jasper sighed, looking towards the ground, almost as if it were an impossibility to look up and meet my eyes, that last thought not sitting well with me, at all. "What I want to tell you is that…" he continued, becoming the rambling mess that I have never known him to be.

"Jasper," I put a finger under his chin, forcing him to look up, a small smile being his welcome. "I am no mind reader; I will not know what you are trying to say, unless you actually open your mouth and tell it to me."

He sighed, wincing. "I have something to tell you."

I nodded my head in agreement, mildly amused by his current state of an incoherent being. "Yes, I may have heard something of that sort."

He glanced at me, confused by this response of mine, his eyes narrowed down in doubt. "Aren't you curious to know of what this is about?"

I shrugged back at him. "Of course, I am," And I really was! "But Jasper, will it change any of the facts that we know and live with? We are still mated, and you are still here with me. How bad could it even be?" I half questioned and half pointed out.

Of course, I was curious.

Obviously, I was worried and desperate to know about this supposed truth that Edward Cullen was so readily available to disclose, almost jumping up and down in joy at the mere prospect of being the one to reveal it; which I must specify was rather sadistic of him.

Poor Maggie!

Could the outcome change if you spoke against it enough times?

Worth a try, you know?

Anyhow, it was a given that this supposed secret was something big; I needn't look too far to know that. I could tell that just by looking at Jasper's guilty face. I could see it in his eyes, hear it in his silence and recognize it in his expression. It was not something that could be ignored or taken lightly. No, this secret was destructive…the kind that left sadness and pain in its retreat….

But I had hope in mind that whatever this be- no matter how painful this revelation be, we could pass through it. We had passed through so much already- our start had never been an easy one, so what was one more hurdle on the way?

Unless…this had something to do with cheating on me….

I could never forgive that….no matter how many centuries pass by.

No. No.

I quickly rid myself of that horrifying and undoubtedly incorrect thought.

Jasper would never cheat on me, and we had mated immediately after I woke up into this new form of mine…. after which Jasper had never left my side for longer than it takes him to hunt…so unless he has some hidden girlfriend that he can talk to through his mind, the probability of him cheating on me was rather less.

Yes, this had to be about something else, thankfully.

And whatever that be, I had to keep hope that we could pass through it.

We had no other choice but to pass through whatever this new destructive tornado lying in our way be.

Yes, we would have to face it, together.

We had no other choice but to.

Jasper sighed, running a hand through his hair. "It is bad, to put it lightly, and I don't know if you will even still want to be with me once you find out the truth. Heck, I am not even sure if you will wish to ever see my face again or not after you hear this."

"It is that bad?" I whispered horror- stricken.

What could be this very bad?

Jasper hardly ever overreacted, so if he was claiming it was this terrible a something, it actually was this terrible.

Okay, now I was actually worried, apprehension coating every nerve of mine.

He gulped, letting out an unneeded breath. "One could say,"

I nodded my head, hesitance thick in my eyes, as I clutched at straws here. "Worse than the truth about how my parents died?"

He sighed, shrugging. "Minutely,"

It was my turn to gulp now. "Worse than the whole 'Alice Cullen thinks of me as a mate' thing?"

He frowned. "Much, much worse,"

I let out a breath, letting the silence prevail in the air for a few long minutes, a whirlwind beginning to make its way in my mind, bringing with it- disbelief, shock, confusion and worry in its not asked for or required package deal.

What was this damn truth?

What could be this horrible that had Jasper doubting if we would survive or not…that had him wondering if our relationship was strong enough to withstand or not, our relationship drowning like the fateful Titanic in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean with just this one revelation that had the capacity to hit us like that iceberg had.

What could be this dangerous to find out?

Now, I was terrified to know the answer.

I shuddered to myself, almost willing to admit that I didn't want to know of whatever this secret be. It simply did not matter. I was happy with Jasper. He was my mate, and I wished for it to remain like that.

Some secret- possibly before I had entered this new world- was not as important to rock this boat of relative peace and comfort.

Yes, I did not wish to know.

I could rip out this bud of curiosity rising in me; I could agree to stay in the dark, but I could not lose Jasper.

I did not want to lose Jasper.

No secret that had the potential of causing me that much pain was worth knowing.

And I knew this Jasper that stood in front of me, quite well, I believe. He would never knowingly cause me pain or sadness. This secret, whatever it be, had to have occurred long ago…. much before he knew me or at least, before he realized of what I meant to him.

This finalized it for me.

I did not want to know this secret, no matter how tempting the prospect of knowing it be.

Some things are better left behind in the past, far away from where they can cause us pain and sadness in our present or future.

"Jasper," I took his hand in mine, softly running my fingers over the back of his hand. "I don't wish to know."

"What," he questioned, heavily confused, as was expected to be.

I sighed, clarifying. "I don't wish to know this secret, whatever it be. I am content the way things are…just," I frowned, "does it affect our present? If it something of the past, I would rather not know."

He continued to look at me, evident surprise on his face, before he took my face in his hands, cupping my cheeks lightly. "Oh, my Bella,"

He softly caressed my face, his eyes deep with love and wonder as they bore into mine. "No, it does not affect our present, at least I don't believe it does; and it is enough a proof of how very strong our relationship is that you offered to not know, trusting me maybe more than I even deserve; but love, this is something you should know about. I can't live with this constant fear that you will someday find out and will refuse to even look at my face. I admit that I should have confessed this long ago- it would have been better for the sake of our relationship, but I was scared of your reaction. Honestly, I was terrified of losing you. I am terrified of losing you, but I refuse to lie to you any longer, even if it be the kind of lie that you know I am lying about."

I sighed, nodding my head, the moment tense as he stared into my eyes for the next few minutes, waiting for my answer. "Okay, I am ready to hear whatever this is, but Jasper, rip it out like a band- aid. I don't think I can do slow here." I let out a humorless chuckle, frowning the very next instant as the seriousness of the situation bore down upon me.

He sighed, nodding his head. "I love you, Bella; remember that,"

I gave him no verbal response; what could I even say to him at the moment?

Confessing my love for him was hardly enough a gesture, not when he was about to divulge something that could potentially destroy our relationship forever.

But, still, it warmed my heart to know that he loved me.

Should we survive this hurricane, I would confess my love for him, too.

Because that was the absolute truth, I did love him, maybe more than I had ever loved anybody.

But this was hardly the time for those confessions and heart-warming conversations.

No. This was the time for that secret to be revealed that had remained the last locked hidden chest in our relationship- the biggest one with the most dangerous secrets, secrets that could easily destroy what one believed true about this world.

Jasper sighed, nodding his head. I heard him murmur 'here goes nothing' before he opened his mouth to speak. "Bella, you remember what I had told you about my past?"

"Your past as in- human or vampire? I remember both, for the record."

Where was he going with this?

Of course, I would remember. I did have the vampire memory to speak of.

He let out a brief chuckle, shaking his head to himself. "I guess I framed it wrong; what I mean is, do you remember of what I did before you entered my life…what my almost profession was?"

I frowned. "You were an assassinator, or a hitman, to put it in other words."

He sighed, nodding his head. "Yes, I killed vampires on behalf of the Volturi, doing their dirty work for them."

"Yes," I nodded my head in agreement. "You have already told me of this, and while I am not completely on board with your past, it is your past, and there is nothing anybody can do about it; but why are you bringing it up now?"

Why was he bringing this up all of a sudden?

What did his past even have to do with whatever this big secret was?

He frowned. "You remember what I had told you of when you had asked of why we would have to fight the Volturi?"

I raised an eyebrow in question, attempting to recollect that conversation happened so very long ago between the two of us. Heck, I had hardly been a little over a day old then.

"You had been sent on an assignment that you could not complete?" I finished with a hesitant sigh.

"Yes," he gulped, looking to the ground. "I had been sent to Forks to kill a human. She had powers, powers that had even Aro worried. He wanted me to finish her off, especially after she killed one of the top- of- the- guard. Now, generally, my job was limited to vampires, but I had been overconfident that day and had laughed it off when Aro had asked of whether I would be willing to take this assignment or not. Anyhow, I failed to complete that assignment, and so the Volturi would be coming for me."

Oh.

Lightbulbs were now flashing in my head, several loud bells ringing simultaneously as realization hit me from every side possible.

No.

I had to be wrong.

This could not be it.

It had to be a mistake.

Yes, I was probably misunderstanding Jasper and his cryptic words.

He must have meant another human. Obviously, it could not be me.

Jasper could not have been sent to kill me.

That was preposterous an idea to even consider!

"What…what power did this human have?" I hesitantly questioned, attempting to smile but failing miserably at it.

He sighed, looking directly into my eyes. "She could emit fire from her touch. She can emit fire from her hands. She is a vampire equivalent of a pyromaniac."

Oh. No.

I stumbled a step behind, wishing for us to have been back at home. It wouldn't have helped, I am aware, but at least I could have pretended to garner the comfort of sitting down in this stressful and unexpected a situation.

"What was this human's name?" I gulped, forcing the words to leave my mouth, still holding a brief ray of hope, almost knowing and accepting that it was a futile effort.

He sighed audibly. "You already know that."

I shook my head in urgency and disbelief, finally looking up as confusion and shock spread through every pore of mine, that small ray of hope now lying diminished.

"You had been sent to kill me?" I asked. "How…What…Why?"

He frowned, nodding his head. "Yes, you were the assignment. After you killed Jane- one of his most loyal guard members- he was terrified of your gift and strength. Add to that, that you were a shield, and he was almost cowering in fear in the throne room back when I had met him months ago." He let out a brief chuckle.

I waved him off. That was hardly a pressing matter at the moment.

Heck, Aro could go and drown in the Pacific Ocean and I wouldn't wink an eyebrow at this revelation.

"You had been sent to kill me." I repeated, slowly, almost praying that I had heard him wrong the first time around- and he would laugh and rectify this mistake for me, the both of us shaking our heads in amusement at assuming otherwise.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Yes."

Oh.

He had been sent to kill me.

My mate had been sent to kill me.

This was the big secret.

Huh.

"Why didn't you then?" I raised an eyebrow at him, half numb from the shock of this revelation. "Why didn't you go ahead and complete your assignment then?"

I was almost curious to know.

Not that I had a death wish or anything, but I was curious to know of why he hadn't gone ahead and completed the assignment?

What had stopped him?

Had he ever attacked?

Had he…attempted to kill me?

Had we fought…or had I attacked him in retaliation?

No.

That could not be true.

I would never have attacked him…. would I have?

He was my mate. Definitely, I would not have attempted to kill him. Yet, that very fact had not stopped him from doing the very same to me.

He had tried to kill me.

He had been sent to kill me.

Jasper frowned, looking up and meeting my eyes. "You are actually asking me that?"

I shrugged back at him. "Now that all the cards are on the table, might as well open this card, too."

He sighed; reluctance obvious in his eyes. "Yes, I had been sent to kill you. I had even made elaborate plans of killing you, going as far as enrolling in your high school to achieve my goal."

"What stopped you then?" my voice was a low, dangerous whisper.

"You," he replied almost instantly, without an inch of doubt in his tone. "You stopped me. I was pulled to you, like a moth is attracted to light. I didn't know it at first; I had jotted it down to curiosity, but I soon realized that it was more than that. I could not let you die. You were my life…my reason to live. How could I end my very reason to smile and laugh? I did not know the extent of who you were to me in the very beginning, but I could never gather the courage or the motivation to harm you. I could never convince my instincts to do anything that could cause you harm. Of course, after I had bitten you, I soon realized of why I couldn't do so."

I nodded my head at him, taking his words in. "Had you known of who I was to you when you took this assignment…."

This was the most important question in all of this.

The question that would make up my answer for me.

He gasped, almost instantly. "Of course not, I would never knowingly harm you. I was an idiot, I admit. I didn't realize it till you were in middle of the change. Peter had tried to get this into my thick head, but I was as adamant of refusing as could be."

"Are you still waiting for that golden chance to arrive or…" I trailed off, suspiciously.

"Love," he frowned, his hands coming to rest on my face, "how can I convince you that this was in the past? I was a different man back then, but once I realized of what you meant to me, I have never done anything that could purposefully harm you. I love you; and I don't say that very easily."

I believed him.

I had no reason to speculate otherwise.

The Jasper that I knew as my mate had never knowingly caused me pain. He had stood by me, protecting me from every person or thing that had the potential to hurt me, giving me a reason to smile and laugh, looking up to the future…. looking up to our future.

"One last question," I admitted. "Had I- the human 'I'- known about this?"

He let out a brief chuckle, shaking his head. "Yes, you had found out, and had dared me to attempt to kill you. You had warned me that you would turn me into ash before I even took one full step ahead."

I gave him a small smile.

Yeah, that seemed like something I would say.

"Jasper," I took his hand in mine, hesitantly, yet knowing that I had to ask this question. "This is all in the past…right? You are not secreting playing with my emotions or something…."

"Bella," he winced, kissing me lightly on the forehead. "I admit that I had lied to you, but this is it- no more lies,"

"No more secrets to confess?" I raised an eyebrow at him in question.

"No," he shook his head in denial.

I nodded my head at him, taking a few unneeded breaths.

I don't know if this was the right thing to do or not, but I could not let our past destroy our present.

That was just stupid.

Sure, he had tried to kill me, but that had been before he knew that I was his mate.

That was his past. He had been an assassinator and I was the assignment. Now, I could either blame what had once transpired between us, ruining my life in the process, or I could accept it, attempting to trust him and make a new start for the both of us.

It wasn't that I wasn't angry at him.

It wasn't that I wasn't disappointed in him.

But you can't help what has already occurred. You can't change the past, no matter how horrifying it be.

All we can do is make peace with it and move on.

"Okay," I gulped. "let's start this again. Hi, I am Bella, its nice to meet you,"

He smiled; disbelief heavy in his eyes. "You are letting the matter go?"

"Will stretching it provide us with anything other than pain and separation? I would rather not push myself into that. We will start again, no more lies and no more secrets, understood?"

He winked at me, "Yes, ma'am,"

"Good," I let out a chuckle. "Now, you have kept the lady waiting long enough," I pointed with my eyes towards my outstretched hand, waiting for him to shake it.

He smirked, taking my hand in his and kissing it softly. "Jasper Whitlock, and the pleasure is all mine, darlin'."

I waved him off, feeling much lighter now that all the secrets were out in the open and neither of us had any skeletons buried in the closet…. waiting to destroy the very foundation we rested on.

"Oh," I spoke in sudden realization, remembering something of extreme importance.

"What," Jasper frowned in confusion.

"I had forgotten something." I stated, a small smile on my face.

"What had you forgotten?" he questioned.

"This," I replied, letting out a small current of fire from my palm- not in any way enough to burn him, at most it would feel like an electrical shock or a lit matchstick touching your skin but being pulled away before it could do any serious damage- letting it hit directly on his heart.

"Ouch, Bella," he winced, rubbing his heart in an attempt to lessen the pain. "What was that for?"

I raised an eyebrow, making sure to speak as coherently as possible. "That was for making plans to murder me; now, we are equal."

I could not stop myself then, I started to laugh; his laughter joining me soon enough, as his arms came to wrap around me, pulling me closer to him as his face buried in my neck, the fear that we could have lost one another today not lost on either of us.

I kissed him on the shoulder, promising myself that no matter what hurdle stood in front of us in the future, we would face it, together.