They meet up with the main caravan in the middle of the following morning. Graldik grumbles at the lack of new hands, but the delay in reaching Bree means that they missed many of those who were waiting for caravans further from Ered Luin. Waiting costs money, and it is rare that those waiting to join another route will spend too long looking for something. Time is money and while they are idle in a town they are not only not earning, they are spending. It is not just dwarven traders who pass through, the Men often do as well and they will hire any dwarf willing to sign on since they have a reputation for being skilled with their weapons and they know the area well. It is not always comfortable being one dwarf among many Men, but her people make do if it means getting paid.
They stop early, the ponies pulling the overloaded wagons clearly showing how hard they have been working in the warmth of the summer sun. They quickly begin to set up camp while several of them get to work unloading and reloading the various barrels and crates according to Graldik's instructions. Nori takes her turn cooking, while Dwalin works with two of the other older dwarves who had stayed with Graldik and two of the lads to move things around. Kíli happily introduces his brother to the other younger members of their group, introducing Fílian as a good friend from home and adding his own weight to the story that Nori had fed Asger about Dwalin's obvious irritation with her being nothing to do with their past interactions and everything to do with him believing that Cadan had encouraged Fílian to lie his way into remaining in Bree until they arrived. The story had made her seem a little foolish, but Nori does not mind that. If people believe she is somewhat more fallible than she is, they will underestimate her and being underestimated is both a blessing and a curse depending on the circumstances.
Much as she likes Asger, she would rather he underestimate her. She does not know if their night in Bree was a one time thing, or if they will attempt to take a moment together on the road, but now that Dwalin is travelling with them she suddenly finds herself unsure about continuing things with Asger even though she was once so certain that it would be an entertaining diversion. It is foolish because Dwalin, this Dwalin, is nothing to her now, but she supposes that there are some habits that die hard. She decides to let Asger take the lead, since her conversation with Dwalin the previous night gave her no indications that he really cared that she was entertaining herself with the one-eyed dwarf. It hurts and it does not. Perhaps she should put some serious effort into moving forward now. She is only doing her heart further harm by refusing to let it heal and even one day on the road with Dwalin has revealed him to be different from the dwarf she fell in love with even though she cannot quite pinpoint what those differences are.
Their trip resumes the next day, the weather improving until they are riding in the full heat of summer with the wagons creaking along beside them. They keep to the road for the most part, although they all know that when they come to the Gap of Rohan they will need to turn off the more heavily used North-South road and take the dwarf road to Labamgarel Zarrakh. Although that road is smaller, it is safer. The orcs tend to stick to the Misty Mountains beyond the Gap and Isengard, only really making their way further south in the late winter when dwindling supplies and hunting makes it necessary for them to push further afield for something to eat. It will be turning to autumn by the time this particular caravan arrives, taking into account the weeks lost due to the broken wagon, and Nori begins to quietly plan the time that she and Kíli will be in Ered Nimrais.
Including who they will probably end up having to share a tiny room with.
Her relationship with Asger, such as it is, continues. Some evenings he will approach her, others she will go to him and still others neither of them really bothers with it, either too tired or content enough as they are. She rides with him most mornings, laughing and joking and avoiding too many deep or personal details when he starts to ask questions in that direction. By the middle of the day, however, she has moved to ride with Dwalin, as became habit during the quest, or even with one or other of the adult dwarves in the caravan. They all get along well enough, their friendship mostly the fleeting nothings of the road and people who know that they will rely on one another should something go drastically wrong, while also acknowledging that the likelihood of them all working together again is fairly slim. The caravan routes are not places to build permanent relationships unless you are looking to form a crew of sorts. Nori avoids that kind of networking, and for the most part it seems that none of the others are interested in it either.
Dwalin remains complicated. Not even her casual thing with Asger seems to be able to release her heart from the grip that the Dwalin she knew had on it. In essentials, that Dwalin and this one are the same. It is the little things that she cannot quite put her finger on, little things that would have annoyed her in the Dwalin of the future that seem to be missing in this one. He watches her, much like her Dwalin used to, but when she gets up to go with Asger he will smile and tell her to have fun. He tells stories around the fire and laughs with the group. There is less suspicion in him, she realises, and she wonders whether that has something to do with not being at Thorin's ever beck and call as he was for so much of their relationship in the future. Still, she does not push too hard at it all. She already knows that when it comes to staying in Labamgarel Zarrakh she will need two additional bunkmates that she can trust. By the time they reach Dunland she can easily see that the pressure of pretending to be Cadan every hour of the day is wearing on Kíli. He will need a safe place for the winter where he can be himself for a few hours a day. Which means that she needs to winter with Dwalin and Fíli if possible for Kíli's sake.
Something of a wrench is thrown into it all by Asger.
For Nori, this is simply an on the road engagement in order to, as she told Dwalin, scratch an itch. If she is also using it to try and move on from something that can no longer be she keeps that information to herself. She and Asger certainly are not the only ones to come to such an understanding. Two of the younger lads sneak off almost every night, nothing like as subtle about it as they like to think, the two who joined them in Bree with Fíli and Dwalin are apparently married, and Nori suspects that the distant and sneering Graldik has somehow managed to charm one of the others into his tent a few times as well. She has no idea how, but then money does all manner of things to normally sensible people who might otherwise take care of business for themselves. As for her, for the first time in a long time she is enjoying herself without expectation of anything else. There is no outside pressure, no family and friends watching and questioning the sanity of one or other of them. She gets what she needs, as does Asger, and life goes on.
Right up until one evening when they are passing a small bottle of some liquor or other between them after a quick round against a tree. Nori has her head tipped back, staring up at the stars above them as she drifts silently, the taste of alcohol on her lips and the satisfied lassitude of a good tumble humming through her bones.
"You decided if you're wintering in Labamgarel Zarrakh yet?" Asger asks.
"We're late," she shrugs, "even if we find a caravan, it puts us too close to orc season for my liking. I don't mind a good fight, but I'd rather not put the lad closer to one than I have to."
"Fair call," Asger agrees. He is silent for a while, long enough that Nori is beginning to think about going back to camp. "I've been wanting to ask you," he continues finally, "if you fancied getting a house with me for the winter. That way you, me, and the lad could stick together for the winter and leave together come spring."
"I appreciate the thought," Nori sighs, kicking herself for not seeing this coming, "but this was the road for me, I thought you knew that."
"I did," Asger assures her. "Can't blame me for hoping otherwise. I like you, lass, you've got your secrets and I can live with those. Still, I'm getting on in years, and you're the first lass I've met who makes me think there might be something more than life on the road for me." He gets to his feet. "You made it clear you didn't want anything serious," he adds, "so it's on me for not paying attention." He offers her a hand to help her up. "Think about what I said, offer's there if you change your mind, and I'd still be happy to have you and your boy come spring. You and him, and his mate too, you've pulled this one together."
"I'll keep it in mind," Nori promises him.
"No you won't," Asger chuckles, "but I appreciate the effort. Think this better be our last night all things considered."
"Probably for the best," she agrees before he walks away, although her heart feels a little heavy with it.
She lingers for a while longer before returning to camp. A petty part of her wants to blame Dwalin for this. If his future self had not cast her aside she would not have broken the arkenstone, would never have come to the past, would never have met Asger. In another life she thinks she could have loved the steel-haired, one-eyed old dwarf. But even now her heart is still not hers to give and that is not Dwalin's fault, no matter where she wants to point the finger.
Dori always told her that when she fell, she would fall hard and fast and permanently. She hates when Dori is right.
Nearly everyone has retired for the night when she gets back to camp, their snores filling the air almost mockingly. Only Dwalin is awake, carefully sharpening his axes with a whetstone as he takes the occasional glance out into the darkness.
"He finally asked you, then," the guard comments as she sits next to him in silence. It is an old habit she had thought she had managed to break, but the longer she has been on the road with him the more she has found herself drifting towards him the same as she used to.
"How, in Mahal's name, did you spot that before I did?" She demands in a hushed voice.
"Cadan gossips worse than a miner in an alehouse," Dwalin replies.
"I'll have to work on that," Nori mutters. "Surprised he picked it up. Pleased, but surprised."
"About eighteen years ago there was a dwarf sniffing round Fílian's Ma," he does not even stumble over the names the boys have taken to using on the road, after weeks of doing it they have become second nature to the guard. Much as Nori knows he dislikes deceit, he is good at it when he puts his mind to it. "There's been some debate about whether she'll ever remarry, she was young when she married his Da, still pretty young when he died too," Nori nods. "No one took this dwarf's attention seriously, he was skilled enough with a blade but barely had three silver to his name more often than not. You weren't around much those years, Cadan spent a lot of time with Fílian and he saw more than the rest of us even at his young age. 'Course, if he hadn't things might have ended very differently when the dwarf in question tried to press the issue."
"I'll bet her brother had something to say about that," Nori observes. It does not happen often, dwarrowdams are as trained with their weapons as dwarrow and just as deadly, but there is always one stupid enough to push their luck in the hope that they might get the upper hand. "If there was anything left once she was done with him."
"There wasn't," Dwalin shakes his head. "But the only reason she was armed was that boy. He refused to let her leave the house without a dagger that day."
"Given who she is, she has no business going anywhere unarmed anyway," Nori hisses. "Her position puts her in more danger, not less."
"Aye," Dwalin agrees, "but it's her brother you would have to take that up with. He's sheltered her from a lot of truths since the mountain fell and their brother was killed." Nori shakes her head with a huff. "My point was, Cadan has good instincts. If I were you I'd think about honing those instead of what you have been."
"Don't tell me how to handle mine," Nori sniffs, "and I won't tell you how to deal with yours. This isn't the first time I've done this, Guard."
He nudges her with his shoulder, the gesture warm and familiar after weeks on the road together with this shared secret. They have not completely resolved their differences, and there is still the matter of her feelings which refuse to go away, but they are more comfortable with one another and since she will have to work with him for the next twelve years or so in order to make sure that the boys survive the quest for Erebor.
"So, why did you turn him down?" Dwalin asks a little later when Nori shows no sign of going to bed.
"I'm not made for permanent," Nori lies. "And I've got the lad to think about."
"He won't be under your care forever," Dwalin argues, "you can't let that stop you from finding someone who makes you happy."
"When the time's right, maybe," Nori agrees, meeting his eyes and holding his gaze. "But it isn't now, and it isn't with him."
"You sound very certain of that," Dwalin observes.
"There are some things you just know," she shrugs. "This is one of them. Now," she gets up, "if you're finished with your interrogation? I'm going to get some sleep."
A.N: So tired. I need to stop playing D&D, so naturally I signed up to join another group. Last night was a minor disaster though. The DM got in a lot of lucky rolls and one of our party came down with a bad case of dead. It was a night.