Jax sped hastily towards his home, knowing that something was wrong. He didn't know what he was expecting. But he wasn't expecting his old lady to be standing in the middle of the street, blood covering her, and the sound of her raspy, tear-filled voice screaming and crying.
Jax almost laid down his Harley as he jumped off as quick as possible to get to her. He ran over to her, grabbing her by the shoulders and looked at her. Seeing not one, but two gashes that were oozing blood. One on her forehead and one on her arm.
"What the hell happened?" His voice, which was usually enough to calm her, only made her even more worked up. "Vanessa, what happened?"
"He took him." She cried, struggling to breathe. "He took Abel. He took my baby!"
"Who?" Jax yelled, worry prevalent on his face.
"Cameron! H-He killed Kip and he took Abel. He took Abel, Jax!" Jax's eyes grew wide as she threatened to fall onto the street, his arms were the only thing holding her steady. "We need to get him back. H-He took my son. He took my son!"
"You stay with her!" He pointed to Chibs. Pulling away from Vanessa, Jax took his phone out and dialled a number before speaking quickly and getting right back onto his bike, taking off for the docks that he knew that Cameron's boat was docked at. Vanessa watched through bloodshot and teary eyes as Jax and Opie took off. Her tears still falling uncontrollably.
Chibs took over Jax's position of holding Vanessa upright, her head fell to his chest as she continued to painfully sob into his kutte. He walked her into the house, sitting her on the chair at the table before walking towards Half Sack with tears in his eyes.
"Oh, oh." He muttered, bending down towards the prospect and feeling for a pulse. "Fuckin' hell, prospect."
"He tried to save me and Abel." Vanessa whispered, staring at her hands. She had Kip's blood on her hands both literally and figuratively. She got up from her seat on wobbly feet and went over to the kitchen sink, scrubbing her hands until the blood was gone. Though she didn't stop when the blood washed away, she continued scrubbing her hands until they were painful and raw.
"Enough, luvvy." Chibs spoke gently, pulling her gently away from the sink and turning the water off before handing her a towel.
"I'm sorry." Vanessa briskly walked away from him and went into Abel's nursery, staring at the crib. Not seeing him in his crib with a gummy smile and his eyes staring wide back at her broke her heart. She longed to hear him babbling away and laughing as he played with his toys. She longed to hear the light snores that flowed through the room as he slept.
She sat on the day bed and felt the weight of the guilt on her chest as she began biting her lip to keep herself from breaking down and crying again.
When she looked up and saw her brother standing there, the tears came over her uncontrollably. He sat next to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into a deep and comforting embrace.
She thought back to when she was a kid and he would console her after a nightmare. Or how he held her when their mother succumbed to her illness. She thought of how he would always hold her together and kept her from falling apart when she was a child. Now, she didn't think anyone was capable of holding her together. She felt as though she was tearing at the seams.
"What happened, Nes?" She just shook her head and looked back down to her hands, the tears overpowering her as she tried to choke down a sob. "Off the record."
"I couldn't protect either of them." She cried harder than she ever has before. She cried for Lily and for Abel. David just stared at her, slightly confused as to who the them was that she was talking about "I don't deserve to be a mother."
"You need to go to the hospital." Vanessa ignored his concern. "You're still bleeding. You probably need stitches on your forehead and your arm."
"Chibs can do it when the guys get back. I can't go to the hospital right now. I can't leave when my baby is out there somewhere." She whispered, refusing to make eye contact with him. She jumped up quickly when she heard all of the bikes outside. Her head felt dizzy once again as she held onto the crib for support. David jumped up with her, concerned for his sister.
"You probably have a concussion. You're gonna need to get scans done to make sure there's no permanent damage. You need to go to the hospital, Vanessa."
"What I need is to get my son back!" She yelled, on the verge of a mental breakdown. "I don't need a fucking hospital, okay? I just want Abel back." David once again wrapped his arms around his little sister, trying to provide any ounce of comfort he could. "I'm sorry." She cried in his arms. "I'm sorry."
Jax watched as his old lady stood in the arms of her older brother as she cried into his chest. He could see that she was about to lose it. He thought for a second that this is what she must have been like after losing Lily, but his mind shut that thought down because they were going to get Abel back. They needed to. He wouldn't let them lose another child.
"Can I get a minute with her?" Jax spoke up and her eyes were shining with hopeful tears when she heard his voice. But when she looked at him and saw the solemn expression on his face, she bit her lip and shook her head, knowing that Abel was still missing. Because she couldn't protect him.
"Yeah." David nodded. "Feds are in town and are likely going to want her official statement. I can hold them off for a day, maybe two."
Jax nodded and walked into the room as David walked out. He stood next to the crib and just stared at it as he tried to conjure up something to say.
"What happened?" He finally asked.
"Cameron just walked in. He… he held me and Half Sack at gunpoint, said that Gemma killed his son. He stabbed Half Sack and then went after Abel. He said he wanted a son for a son. I-I tried to protect him. I swear I did, Jax." She cried. "I tried to fight him, to hurt him. I tried to get Abel away from him and I just couldn't."
"Why'd you let her follow Zobelle's daughter? You were supposed to stay with her." His voice was monotone and she had the sinking feeling that Jax blamed her too. She looked at him but he refused to look back at her.
"I tried to talk her out of it, Jax. She didn't listen." Jax shook his head at her explanation. "I'm sorry."
"Go get patched up by Chibs."
"Jax…"
"Just go!" He raised his voice, tears pooling in his eyes. "Please."
Vanessa thought she heard a double meaning behind his words. She suspected that he wanted her to go, as in leave Charming, and the thought caused her to bite her lip. She took a deep breath, realizing that her fingernails were digging into the palms of her hands until there were noticeable indentations. She walked out of the nursery and towards where Chibs and Opie were sitting at the kitchen table. They were both talking to her but she could barely hear her thoughts, nonetheless what other people were saying to her at the moment. All she heard was Abel's cries and Jax begging her to go. She sat in the chair and stared at the spot where Half Sack's body laid just a few hours before.
"Uh, I need stitches." She mumbled, still staring at the once blood-soaked but now blood-stained linoleum floor.
"One of the guys brought your medical kit back from the clubhouse." Opie spoke and she nodded. "Chibs can do them."
She barely even flinched while Chibs was stitching her up. In fact, the physical pain that she was in felt miles better than the emotional pain she was feeling at the moment. She would rather be poked and prodded with needles for hours on end than have to deal with Abel being gone for one more second.
She didn't even realize when he was done and both of the two men were staring at her with wide eyes full of concern.
"What?" She mumbled.
"I said the guys are tracking down leads. Are you and Jax gonna be okay to stay alone tonight?" Opie asked. "You want me to stay?"
"No. Uh, we'll be okay." Opie and Chibs both hugged her, kissing her cheek before walking out the door. She had no idea what to do now. She had no idea where she was supposed to go from here. So she sat there at the table with the now cold tea that she forgot Chibs had made her.
She felt tears falling down her cheeks once again and let out a few quiet sobs before brushing her tears away. She took a deep breath and slowly exhaled trying to keep herself grounded.
"Okay." She whispered, staring at the cell phone in front of her. "Stop fucking crying and find your son."
She finally found the strength to pick up and dial the only other number, besides Jax's and David's, that she had ever considered remembering. She typed the numbers in hesitantly, unsure if this was the best route of action. But her son was missing and she would do anything to get him back. Even if it meant inviting old people back into her life.
"Hello?" The deep voice grunted into the phone. She looked at the time, seeing that it would be nearly 1 am by now in New York.
"I need you."
Vanessa couldn't get a wink of sleep, even if she wanted to. Instead, she took a long and scalding hot shower before she scrubbed the floor as clean as she could, trying to get the blood stain out. Her mind went back to the last time she was doing this, when she was scrubbing the floor after Jax had killed Kohn for her. Now, Jax could barely even stomach her. Not that she blamed him.
After getting the floor completely stain free, she walked over to the nursery for what must have been the fifth time in less than an hour. Jax was passed out now. A completely empty bottle of Jack laid right next to him on the ground and a burning cigarette in the ashtray. She put the cigarette out and looked at him.
There was a small pile of vomit laying next to his face, indicating that he was probably blacked out at one point. Seeing him so broken, nearly broke her too. But she had to be strong. Like Gemma said, she was the one that Jax relied on, so she would be strong for him. She pushed a piece of his hair out of his face and stared at him, noticing how much younger he looked when he was asleep. When the weight of the outlaw world wasn't laying on his shoulders. She continued to look at him for a moment until her eyes drifted back to the crib, taking a deep breath, she moved off of her knees and stood up.
Vanessa went around the nursery cleaning up the already nearly spotless room. She refolded all of the clothes, fixed all of the blankets in the crib, and placed all the toys back into their designated spots. When the room was as clean as she could possibly get it, she sat on the daybed, her eyes glazing over as she watched as Jax continued to sleep on the ground.
She didn't realize how long she was sitting there feeling empty in the deafening silence of the room, just staring between him and the crib until she noticed that the sun was up and there were people at the door. Quickly she jumped up, moving towards the front door and hoping for good news.
She opened the door, seeing all of the guys standing there, looking at her like she resembled a mess, which she probably did. But frankly, she didn't care. She couldn't care.
"Anything?" She asked, looking right to Opie, Chibs and Juice, the three brothers that she was closest to. The ones that she trusted with her life.
"Maybe." Clay spoke up. "Where is he?"
"Nursery." She let them all in. They went directly to the nursery to see him passed out with the bottles of liquor.
She watched as they picked him up, calling his name and trying to coax him to move on his own, but he refused. Again, it nearly broke her to see him look so unlike himself. So weak. But she understood. Truthfully, she wanted to be numb and passed out in a pile of her own vomit, rather than suffering with the painfully sober torture that she was enduring at the moment. But she refused, because if there was ever a time for her to be a strong old lady, it was now.
"He's been drunk like this, barely moving since he came back yesterday." She tried to quell the tears that were threatening to fall again. "I don't know what to do. He won't even look at me."
"We'll take care of him." Clay spoke up quietly, brushing her off. She assumed that he blamed her too.
"Got some info on Abel." Opie said to Jax, trying to pick him up off the ground. "Laroy found a guy who made some I.D. for Cameron, used the name Timothy O'Dell."
"Come on, shower. Come on." Chibs helped him get up. She watched as Opie picked Jax up into his arms and she blinked the tears away. She had never seen him like this and it physically hurt her to watch.
"Do you need my help?" She mumbled, walking closer to the men.
"You don't need to see him like this." Opie told her while shaking his head.
"I need to be there for him." She walked over to them but Clay stopped her.
"Maybe it'd be best if you just go." His voice was rough and she could tell that it wasn't a suggestion. She stared at the older man standing in front of her as he tried to challenge her, refusing to break eye contact with her. She wanted to scream that this was his fault. His fault for inviting the Irishman into their lives by not getting out of guns like Jax wanted. But she didn't. She bit her lip in an effort to quell her sharp tongue, a fat tear slipping down her face as she did so. She turned around hastily and walked straight into the arms of Piney, who escorted her out of the hallway.
"Sweetheart, Jax wouldn't want you to see him like this."
"Jax doesn't want me to see him at all." She whimpered and Piney pulled her in for a hug. "He blames me. You all do."
"No one blames you, darlin'. You fought like hell to protect him." He took a gentle hold of her chin and spoke again. "Look at me, we are going to get Abel back. You understand that?"
Vanessa just nodded giving Piney one more squeeze before walking away and into the kitchen. She put on a pot of coffee and started doing things around the kitchen to take her mind off of everything, not that it worked so much. As she started handing out cups of coffee to everyone she decided now was the best time to talk to Clay.
"Can I- uh, can I talk to you for a second, Clay?" They walked to the nursery together and she sighed heavily. He stared at her intimidatingly again. "My brother pushed it back as far as he could, but I have to talk to Stahl and the FBI this afternoon, tell them what I saw." Clay nodded. "I tried to ask Jax what I should say last night, but he-"
"Tell them as much of the truth as you can. We want everybody looking for Abel. Just give 'em the basics. Feds know who Cameron is, his real IRA ties. All you gotta do is leave out the details about our association."
"Can't those details help though? I mean anything I know might be able to help find him."
"They won't." Clay spat. "Cameron killed Sack and he took my grandson because Stahl lied and framed Gemma. That's the real truth."
"But…"
"Hey!" Clay raised his voice, causing her to jump back slightly. "You tell 'em what you saw and you leave our damn connection out of it. Got it?" Vanessa nodded, breathing heavily and trying to wipe the tears before they fell in front of the president. "You're an old lady now, which means you do what the club tells you to do." Clay's voice sounded low and threatening as he walked out of the nursery. She swallowed harshly and leaned against the crib, watching as Jax and Clay hugged. Jax looked at her for a split second before looking to the ground again but still walking towards her.
"Jax…" She looked at him, but he just stood there. "I know you blame me."
"This has nothing to do with you." Jax sounded empty, numb, and lost. "None of it does."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"I'm sorry this happened. I had no right asking you for this."
"Asking me what, Jax?"
"Wanting you to come back to Charming. To stay and be part of what I am. I didn't think it through." He finally looked at her. "Obviously I do that. I don't think shit through- what it might do to other people."
"I am not other people." Vanessa shook her head. "I came back because I wanted to. I want to be with you and be a part of what you are because I fucking love you."
"You should have left after I took care of Kohn. That should have been the end of us."
"You don't mean that, Jax. You're not making any sense."
"I do." He nodded. "This has to be the end. You gotta get out of Charming and away from me."
"What? What are you even saying?" She gasped, clutching at her chest. "We-we…"
"We were too caught up in the past. You don't belong here anymore. I should have never brought you back here. This has to be the end." Vanessa didn't get a chance to respond when Jax pushed away from the crib and left the house, completely ignoring the broken look on her face. She heard all of the motorcycles start up and take off. She stood there, frozen for a second until anger and sadness poured over her.
She wiped the tears off her face and moved quickly to her car, slamming the drivers side door. She looked into the rearview mirror, half expecting to see Abel sitting behind her and smiling. Instead all she saw was a line of stitches near her hairline and an extensive amount of bruising that lingered over the right side of her face and forehead.
She felt utterly and unequivocally alone.
She was fighting a war with that lonely silence again, and she looked even more battle-worn as she felt as though she was being swallowed whole until she no longer felt anything but that loneliness.
Vanessa sat inside Charming Station House waiting for them to take her statement. She could barely focus on what was going on, wanting nothing more than to just find her son. To hold him. To hear his little giggles and babbles. The anger, sadness, and desperation that was brewing inside of her was a deadly mix and it was bubbling up, ready to overflow.
"Vanessa… how are you feeling?" She heard her brother call out to her. He held his hand out to her and pulled her into a comforting embrace. She started to tear up as her brother wrapped his arms around her. The pain that she was in weighed heavily on her, but the emotional toll of the last few hours weighed even heavier. "They're ready for you. Look, you tell them everything, okay?"
"I know."
"Do you?" David asked gently. "Whatever you know can help move along the investigation. It can potentially save Abel's life." She nodded again, wiping the few tears away and trying to gain the strength to talk about the most painful moment of her life since losing Lily. She exhaled a deep breath and stood up straighter with her head held high. "I love you, kid and I'm glad you're okay."
"Love you too, Davey." David rolled his eyes at the nickname while she gave a weak smile to her older brother. "Let's get this over with."
The questioning that she was being put through made her body tense up. She didn't understand why they were asking her so many ridiculously stupid questions when they could be out there searching for her son. Why they cared more about her statement of what happened than the fact that her baby was missing completely baffled her. She struggled with anger, sadness, and the pure unadulterated desire to yell and scream and curse at the good-for-nothing federal agents sitting in front of her.
"Ms. Hale, when Cameron grabbed the baby, where were you?" One of the men asked.
"I-I reached out to Abel first, after Cameron stabbed Kip, but he grabbed me by the hair before I could get to the baby. I elbowed him in the face. I tried to fight back, but he uh, he cut me with the knife then held a gun to my head. I-I thought he was going to shoot me, but he slammed my head into the counter, twice, I think. I went unconscious for a few seconds, but I heard Abel crying. I opened my eyes and I remember seeing Cameron running out the door with Abel in his arms."
"And what did you do when you saw him running away with the baby?"
"I tried to get up, but then I tripped over Kip's body, that's when I found out he was dead… w-why I had his blood on me." She felt herself practically choking on her breath as she looked down to her hands, seeing a sea of blood staining them again. "I got up again when I heard a car taking off. When I got outside, they were already gone."
"He didn't say anything; why he was taking the baby? About his son being killed? Ransom?"
"No." She shook her head. "He didn't say anything."
"The smallest detail can help us."
"I told you already. I told you everything!" She practically cried. "I don't know anything else." She saw the smug smirk flickering onto Stahl's face at the sound of her distressed voice. "I told you everything that I know. Can I go now, please?" Vanessa wanted to scream, and cry, and curse at the bitch who caused all of this to happen. But with very little patience and control, she walked out of the building without saying a word to her or the other agents who dismissed her.
She reached the SUV to see Clay and Opie sitting on their bikes, talking with Unser. She heard Stahl following behind her, but her very small level of patience was running even more thin. So she continued to ignore her, praying that the woman wouldn't follow her.
Her prayers went unanswered again.
"Vanessa." Stahl called out to her. "You know, I find it very hard to believe that you never bumped into Cameron Hayes before the other day. Been in town for months running guns for your future father-in-law."
"And I find it hard to believe you've still got a badge after what you did to Gemma. You are a despicable piece of shit." She spoke through clenched teeth.
"What I did? Gemma came in guns blazing. I barely escaped with my life." The smug look was still on the agents face, and Vanessa wanted nothing more than to beat it off of her.
"Oh, bite me, you miserable bitch." She spat, full of bitterness. "You stay the fuck away from me and you stay the fuck away from my family."
"Or what? Hmm? You're gonna have one of your boys gun me down? Like you did Kohn?" Vanessa slammed the car door shut again and moved further into the agents face.
"I don't need a boy to handle my shit. We both know what really happened at that safe house. And now my friend is dead and my son is missing because of you." Vanessa seethed, her anger got the best of her as she pushed the woman into her car door and put a firm grasp on the woman's throat before whispering in her ear. She could see the intimidated look in the agent's eyes and Vanessa reveled in it. "And I swear on my daughter's grave, if anything happens to that baby, I will personally put three bullets into your goddamn head."
Opie got up from his bike and gently pulled Vanessa a few feet away from the woman who was unnerving her. The last thing he wanted, or needed for that matter, was for Jax's old lady to get locked up for assaulting a federal agent.
"You're lucky that I have compassion for a grieving, what should I call you, since you're not his mother and all?" She smirked as she saw Vanessa's jaw clench again. "A nanny? A babysitter? Anyway, I could have you locked up for threatening and assaulting a federal agent. That's a good bit of time spent away from your old man who is already grieving his kidnapped son because you failed to protect him."
"Stay the fuck away from my family." Vanessa opened her door again, not caring that she hit the uptight bitch with it before slamming it shut again. She heard Stahl comment something along the lines of 'Gemma training them well' to Clay before she sped off, wanting nothing more than to run the bitch down on her way out of the parking lot.