You guys get one, bigger chapter today : )
I'm headed to my mum's on Sunday -4 hour drive for me that day, so the usual multiple chapters a day will be tomorrow, on Saturday instead.
Love you all
xoxo
"I didn't punish you, you know. And if I did, it wasn't intentional. Everything was real between us, from the moment you kissed me." I admit.
Little Doe sighs, averts her eyes. I'm putty in this woman's hands, I swear to God. I might as well just tattoo her name on my ass and make it permanent for the entire world to see. As she looks at the ground next to my feet, I'm overcome with feelings — emotions; love and adoration. I feel like a fucking chick in a rom-com.
"I want to do something for you." I breathe. "Give me your bank account number and I'll settle my debt. I'll annul our agreement. I'll set those fucking papers on fire. For you. For us." Her eyes grow wide.
"What if I still want it? The agreement?" Her bare feet swing back and forth. She's insecure and her thighs have goosebumps all over. I resist the urge to touch them, touch her even though it almost hurts to keep my hands to myself.
"Do you?"
"I don't know. I did want it. I was so sure of it."
"You regret it? The agreement?" I bite down hard on the barbell of my tongue ring, feeling anxious as fuck.
"Sometimes."
"Give me a chance to show you what life could be like. With me? You said it yourself, that I gave you a glimpse of that. And we haven't exactly known each other very well, have we? So just imagine how you'll be feeling once we're a few months down the road." I can't believe I'm pushing myself and a fucking relationship on a girl. But this isn't just some girl, a pussy, a good fuck… No. It feels like she's mine. My girl. My Doe.
"No, we haven't known each other very long at all. But it feels different though. As though I've known you forever." She bites her lip and stares at me. I can't not tell her how I feel, I can't risk letting her feel sad because I downplay my emotions in order to look like a fucking guy— no. I can't fake anything with Isabella Swan. Certainly not indifference. I never really have been able to play it off as anything other but attraction. It was there right from the fucking start.
"You know I don't chase, baby, but let me chase you. I'll break my rules for you. Fuck — I've already broken them for you. Countless times." Her smile makes my heart soar. She takes her hand and traces the ink on my collar bone. Odi et Amo. I hate and I love. I'm a person full of contradictions, and that's one of them. The biggest one.
"If I still want it, will you be the one to do it?" She asks me. I know what she implies. She wants me to kill her when she still wants to honor her agreement. I swallow thickly before I answer her.
"Yes." I'm honest and I fucking mean it. Yes, I'll kill her. And I'm only this harsh because I know I'll change her mind. I know I can make her see things differently.
"I have one condition."
She cocks her head and looks at me like I'm stealing the sun from the sky. Something about the look on her face makes me realize that no, you can't blame the flower if it doesn't grow. You have to change the environment, not the fucking flower. New York isn't good for Bella, it never has been. It's full of darkness and trauma, of ghosts of her past that she can't seem to escape. It gives me an idea, and it's terrifying. I, Edward Masen, would never ask this of any girl besides my baby sister.
"You're coming to Miami with me. There's no way I can give you my best if I'm out here in the fucking cold and rain." She rolls her eyes. "Plus," I add. "I fucking miss my dog."
My best babe in the universe started a new fic! I'm talking about creaatingmadness' The One That Got Away. I've had the honor to preread, and it's so freaking good! Go check it out!
My partner in crime, maniacalmuse has an epic -kinky oneshot that's new on her page: (K)INKED. Go read. It's spicy *yum*