Blake Belladonna, Weiss Schnee and Natsume's Commentary of Forest Warrior (Part 2 - Final)

"While the girl goes to the treehouse to gut the fish, Norris comes across the loggers to once again Chuck them up.", Blake started the second part of the Forest Warrior review, as the film's next excerpt showed McKenna fighting off the loggers.

Natsume clarifies, "I always thought that more fight scenes needed to be intercut with animals randomly watching the action. It seems to say, 'We know we can't be exciting, so let's at least try and be cute.'"

"Yeah, and is it me or is this the exact same fight scene we saw before just put in front of a truck? Toss, kick, slow-mo, Norris forgetting to have a personality.", noticed Weiss.

The Faunus answered, "Yeah, we're not seeing much of a difference, Weiss."

"Norris looks into his eyes and figures out the explosives are about to go off. You know, for an omnipotent spirit of the forest, don't you think he would've noticed a little hiccup like that? Premonitions...", the ginger-haired girl confused, before the film had McKenna transforming into an eagle after finding out about the explosives at the treehouse, literally blowing the loggers away.

The heiress exclaimed, "What the hell?! It's like saying, 'Auntie Em, it's a Norris! It's a Norris!'", while she, Blake and Natsume watch the snippet where the eagle McKenna swoops down and suddenly turns into a wolf via jump cut.

"Why does he even need to turn into an animal when we already established he can teleport anywhere at any time in the world? He's only got 15 seconds. Okay, very long 15 seconds, but still...", remarked Natsume.

Blake summarized when the dynamite in the film detonated and blew the treehouse up, "The treehouse blows up and everyone thinks the girl is a goner...which, she kind of is, but Norris is there to once again bring her back through the exact same effects again that I think they originally stole from Ghostbusters in the first place.", with the next part having the girl safely waking up to see McKenna as he asked how she was feeling and replied that she was sleeping.

"That girl should be saying, 'You might also be able to turn into a cockroach now. Just don't be alarmed.'", mimicked Weiss, whilst McKenna tells the girl tells the forest is his home and he lived a very long time.

The Japanese-Australian teen added, "And also, 'Oh, your acting's making me go to sleep. Good night.'", just as the girl in the film falls asleep again shortly after.

"Once the girl's father finds out, he rushes to the treehouse, thinking that he's too late.", the black-haired huntress continues before they witness the girl's father suddenly breaking down in sadness when he heard the news of what happened to his daughter (not before his daughter returned and reunited with his father much to his relief and happiness), "By the gods, guy! It's a fucking Chuck Norris movie, not a Sally Field flick."

Natsume prefers, "I know, right? The dog in the classic Looney Tunes cartoon Feed the Kitty gave a more subtle performance."

"Or Alan Alda's character in the M.A.S.H. series finale Goodbye, Farewell and Amen. It was heartbreaking.", saddened the white-haired huntress just as when she breaks into tears.

Her Faunus girlfriend replied, "I know, Weiss. We all have seen emotional scenes here and there... Now, now...", as she comforted and embraced her crying girlfriend.

When Blake parts from their embrace, she caringly wipes Weiss' tears off with her thumbs as they looked at each other affectionately, the two of them still crying whilst longing for each other with love and romance. The two of them proceed to kiss deeply once again as their tears mixed during this beautiful moment.

Natsume, however, couldn't help but smile faintly for the two of them, rolling her eyes yet again to their intimate kiss.

"Lovemates.", Natsume joked in her Australian accent as she smiled for Blake and Weiss.

Afterwards, Blake resumed the review once they finished their kiss and wiped their tears away, "So it looks like the kid is okay as everybody tries to figure out what's going on with that forest."

"Oh, sure, many hauntings look nicer if you just call them enchanted! If that's the case, Poltergeist is a family movie if you just use different terminology. Like saying when the possessed clown doll attacked the kid was charming, or saying the door ghost terrorizing the mother was playful, or saying that the giant undead head roaring at the father is curious, or even saying the skeletons floating in the pool was whimsically delightful... Misleading with it's terminology, ain't it?", compensated the ginger-haired girl.

Weiss then abstracts the following scene, "But more bad news seems to be on the horizon.", before reacting when the cop revealed that Travis had gotten a temporary permit to cut down the trees the next day, "Temporary permit? What is this? The Purge? You can suddenly perform illegal activity as long as you have a note?"

"As a matter of fact, I think that one sounds like an interesting movie to review some other time with Ruby and Yang.", the Faunus suggested as her Schnee girlfriend nodded.

Natsume liked the idea, "Streuth! Wouldn't that be fun? But not now, maybe next time. Besides that, EPA, anyone?"

"So Thorne is on his way to chop down the forest, and seeing how this is a 90s kids film, we, of course, have to rip off the Home Alone ending, with traps set up all over the place.", the heiress describes.

The black-haired huntress supported her girlfriend's opinion, "Hell, you can tell The Wizard of Oz in the 90s and you would still have to have a Home Alone ending. You just attach the bucket of water to a string or something.", also pointing out, "However, where Home Alone was quick and well-paced, this is nerve-rackingly slow as molasses.", as the three girls watch the part when Travis and the loggers look around the forest when they stop at a roadblock.

"Jeez, how long does this go on for? It's a Chuck Norris movie, and yet all his scenes have been replaced with kids, the Castrol and Peter Parker's landlord.", impatiently groaned the Japanese-Aussie teenager.

The white-haired Schnee huntress acknowledged as the kids push a log away and tie a rope onto Travis' ankles that cause him to roll down through the forest, "Well, when all else fails, just kill the bastard! I'm sure anyone can survive being tied to a log, rolled down a cliff and tossed into a six-story drop! Go, Murder Squad!"

"And the kids distract the rest of the loggers by playing that Awesome Mix Volume 1 cassette from Guardians of the Galaxy. Bonus points to the guy who does air guitars with a chainsaw. This is both stupid and magical.", comments Natsume when they saw the loggers having fun in the meantime during the movie's climax.

Blake responds when the kids regroup when Travis tries to escape and the girl told the other kids they gave to stop them, "Oh, brilliant strategy. Thanks, Patton!", imitating when a logger confronts one of the kids after playing for a bit, "Well, looks like I gotta break my killing kids rule, which I never had."

"And if I learned anything from the Tom and Jerry cartoons, this never backfires.", the ginger-haired girl comprises just as McKenna suddenly appears and punches the logger in the face.

Weiss mocked the logger in that movie moment, "Whoa! I so did not set myself up for that!"

"Yep. Chuck Norris is back again. We have him so rare, you have to keep note of it.", gladdened Natsume.

The Faunus replied to the excerpt where McKenna and the logger fight, "You wouldn't be so hot without your slow-mo!", also remarking about McKenna in the film when he stops the logger's chainsaw with his bare hands when the latter tried using it against him, "Whoa... He's like, 'That's right, Internet. I just stopped a chainsaw with my bare hands. I'm just trying to make these memes easier for you.'", as McKenna in the movie then fights several more loggers.

"What do you think he's going to do to them this time, Natsume?", the heiress questioned the ginger-haired teen.

The Japanese-Aussie girl thought, "Oh, I don't know. About the same thing he's done every single time?"

"Oh, you mean...", the Schnee girl pondered before she, Blake and Natsume guess in unison, "Pick them up and toss them?", sighing, "By the gods, where did he learn his fighting? The School of Hot Potato?"

Natsume climaxes, "Of course, the police arrive to arrest them, but Thorne runs away and asks Norris for help, because...yeah, I'm sure he looks like someone who'd be on his side.", as they spectate when Travis confessed to McKenna that guys were chasing him and he wanted to cut down a few trees.

"Well, gee, when you put it like that, it makes the plot sound pretty ridiculous.", the black-haired huntress says before she summarized next as Travis in the film tried attacking McKenna but the latter does so first and defeats him, "Look at that. He uses the magic of the mountain to throw him towards a tree, stop at the tree, headbutt himself, and then land face-up, even though he was thrown face-down."

The ginger-haired teenager sighs in relaxation, "Forest Warrior works in mysterious ways.", listening to Travis in the film saying he only believed in the magic of the almighty dollar, "Well, I think that goes without saying you said yes to a Chuck Norris movie.", also witnessing the following part when McKenna tells a few lessons to Travis befoe transforming into a bear without a jumpcut and said in her Australian accent, "And there it is. Crikey! They only had enough money to do one onscreen morph and it is gloriously bonzer! I don't even know what to say here. It's one of the most famous Chuck Norris moments ever. He, right in front of our eyes, turns into a bear. Even that guy is so awestruck, he appears to be mooing.", as said scene was spectated.

"Yeah, look at him. He's making so many weird sounds, he could be a cereal mascot.", joked the white-haired huntress.

Natsume consummates, "So the police finally arrest Travis, the girl's father is made deputy again because he proved he can be sober for a couple of hours, and they rebuild the treehouse with...presumably Travis' lumber?"

"Yeah, wait a minute.", wondered the Schnee girl as they see the kids and the adults rebuilding the treehouse and high-five each other, "Man, they'll high-five anything. One of the kids must be like, 'Yeah, water! High-five, bro!'"

The Japanese-Australian girl saluted, "Thank you, mountain. We hang this eco-friendly Denny's placemat in your honor."

"But then, the girl, you know, the one who was snickering at the death of Norris' wife, looks up and sees the two of them together.", Blake revealed in the film's ending.

Natsume perplexed, "Wait a minute. If she was with him the whole time, how come she didn't help out?"

"Well, remember, Natsume. Chuck Norris wants to put himself in every man. Getting a woman involved would just be an abomination to many."

"Well, I guess I see your point."

"Really?"

"No.", the ginger-haired girl replied.

Weiss sarcastically concluded when the movie ends with McKenna disappearing from the forest, "Here's to having a Native-American movie with only one Native-American shown for two seconds and not be given any lines of dialogue."

"And that was Forest Warrior, and to say the least, this is a bafflingly odd movie.", finished Natsume whilst speaking her Australian accent.

Blake, Weiss and Natsume say their overall review of Forest Warrior;

"For a start, it's a Chuck Norris movie where he shows it for maybe all about 10 minutes of bears. Hell, I think Steven Seagal's appeared in more inside of his direct-to-video movies. In most of the scenes, they just be copying the most popular trends of the time, like protecting the environment and Home Alone, and slapping them together into one cheesy mess. I mean, who exactly is this aimed at? Kids who really like Walker, Texas Ranger? Does anyone want to see Chuck Norris stroking his ego by playing a malevolent god of the forest who is also really good at kicking people in the face? It just plays like a country music version of Captain Planet, especially since it's so cartoonish and over-the-top, you'll probably larrikin yourself into a hernia well before the master of Chuck Norris becoming a bear.", said the Japanese-Australian teen Natsume of her opinion, in her Australian accent again.

The two huntresses Blake and Weiss also said in unison of their own opinion, "It's pretty stupid and drenched in 90s cheese, but as stupid kids' films go...yeah, it's pretty standardly stupid. But like our friend Natsume said, the few scenes that are so bizarre and dripping with Chuck Norris' ego are far too funny to overlook. So if you want to know about the spirit of the mountain as, say, told by Chuck Norris' karate commandos, then this is the good one to check out.", concluding the movie review as they said to Natsume, "Well, Natsume, it's nice that we finally got a chance to do a crossover together."

"Indeed, Blake and Weiss. But, you know, part of me does feel bad about what we said about Chuck Norris earlier.", regretted the ginger-haired girl.

Blake confided, "Well, although some of his movies are sometimes good and sometimes bad, we still think he may be one of the legendary underrated action legends ever despite the setbacks."

"Understood...", Natsume smiled, before she suddenly embraced Blake and Weiss in a group hug.

Weiss eased, "Whoa. You've grown fond of us, haven't you?"

"I can't help myself!", giggled the Aussie-Japanese teenager.

Blake then reminded, "And now since that's over, we should meet with the others. They must be waiting for a bit."

"Right.", Weiss and Natsume nodded without a doubt.

Blake, Weiss and Natsume then turn the TV off and leave the latter's chosen washitsu guest room, as the three went down the hall, went downstairs, exited Baiken's castle and back onto the public of the Samurai Kingdom.

In their new kimono attire for Edo Island, Blake and Weiss looked around for their friends Ruby and Yang, just before they heard their teammates' voices calling for them.

"Blake! Weiss!"

The two teammates of RWBY turned to see their other two teammates with Baiken, Ibuki, Maka, Athena and all their other friends waiting for them on their right.

"Ruby! Yang!", the Faunus and the heiress delighted as the two of them and Natsume regrouped with their friends, the two of them embracing Ruby and Yang in a group hug.

Ruby and Yang chuckled cutely, "How was the review, girls?"

"Environmentally enjoyable...", Blake and Weiss replied happily as their teammates and their other friends smiled in the busy landscape of the Samurai Kingdom.

It was indeed a great visit on Edo Island thus far.

End of Blake Belladonna, Weiss Schnee and Natsume's Commentary of Forest Warrior

Up Next: Team RWBY, Sinon and Leafa's Commentary of Leprechaun