Walk The Nose
Written for the Character of the Month Event
Prompt: Lord Voldemort
"My body parts are not to be used for your amusement!" Voldemort hollered, seeing Bellatrix walking down the hallway with his nose on a leash. He could have sworn it stood up and barked at him, like a little puppy.
Bellatrix shrugged. "It's not as though you were using it for anything," she drawled, looking up at her beloved master and batting her eyelashes at him. "Besides, I think it's cute, don't you?"
Voldemort frowned, giving her a look of disapproval that would have made a sane person weep from fright and beg for forgiveness. But Bellatrix wasn't exactly playing with a full deck. Otherwise, she wouldn't have charmed her master's severed nose to do back flips and beg for treats.
"It's such a talented little sweetheart," Bellatrix cooed, flicking her wrist and pulling back on the leash. She yanked her master's nose right off its nostrils and swung it through the air, making it perform barrel rolls, tsunamis and eli hops.
Voldemort's mouth hit the floor. Like literally, it struck the ground and left a gigantic hole in the linoleum. Which was no fun for Draco, who was downstairs reclining in a large beanbag chair and fondling an apple when he was hit by Voldemort's lower jaw and knocked unconscious.
"Can't you keep your random body parts under control?" Delphini screeched, shaking her fist at her father from the downstairs basement, which had also been violated by Voldemort's intrusive mandible.
Everything was going fine until Bellatrix accidentally slung her master's nose through the window and out into the cosmos, where it pierced the space time continuum and created a parallel universe where Albus had a second brother named Aurelius.
And that, ladies and gentlewizards, is how Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them came to be.