Friday: November 16, 2012 12:47 P.M.

"Are we all packed, Randy?" I ask as I bring my bags downstairs.

Randy brought his bags down behind me. "We're all set. Do I have time to relax before you want to go to the grave?"

"Uh, yes. I still need lunch."

"Actually so do I. What do you plan on having?"

"I'm just gonna make a sandwich."

"Okay, let's go do that." Randy walks into the kitchen.

I follow him. "I love you so much."

Randy starts making us both a sandwich. "I love you too."

"I think I'm going to read that last letter while we're on the road to Indianapolis tonight."

Randy raised an eyebrow at me. "You are?"

"Yeah, I'm so tired of stressing about them so much. I just want to finish it and be done with it."

"I understand. It's been over a year, Marissa. It's time you get it done."

"Thanks for understanding, you sexy sandwich maker."

Randy laughs. "That's a new one."

I kiss his cheek. "Well I'm in a great mood right now. Just let me say it."

"I wasn't complaining."

"Good, I think we need more pictures around the house."

"Do we?"

"I think so. The house is huge, and there's like only two pictures hanging up."

"Okay, we'll take care of that. We'll get some pictures hung up."

I smile at Randy. "Thank you, honey."

"Absolutely."

Randy and I start to walk over to my father's grave when I spot Tyler standing in front of it. I take in a deep breath.

"Just remain calm." Randy whispers as we continue to approach the grave.

"I will be calm, Randy." I reply.

Tyler turns to look at us. "Hey, I didn't expect to see you two today."

"If you need a minute, we can head back to our car."

"Marissa, I don't need a minute."

"Oh, alright."

"I thought you would've been here sooner than this to see the grave."

"I've had a lot going on. I thought you'd get here a lot sooner."

"I've also had a lot going on. How have you been?"

"I've had a lot of stuff going on at work even though I'm taking a break from wrestling. I've been really tired lately. I also have to head to my therapy session right after this."

"How's that been going for you?"

"I get pretty emotional in there sometimes, but I think it's helped me with a lot of things."

"That's good."

"Yeah, I only have one letter from Mom left to read."

"Took you long enough."

"Hey, I had double the amount that you and Colby had from her."

"I know. I'm gonna head out. You take your time here. See you Sunday."

"See ya Sunday."

"Nice seeing you too, Randy." Tyler says before walking away.

Randy wrapped his arms around me. "Do you want me to head to the car?"

I lean against him. "Randy, I want you to stay with me. Stay right here."

"Okay, we're gonna have to go to your therapy session soon though."

"I know."

I walked into Dr. Sullivan's office for my therapy session. Randy grabbed onto my hand tightly.

"Hi, Marissa, Randy!" Dr. Sullivan says. "How has your week been?"

"It's been well." I reply. "I handled work very well. I went to my father's grave earlier, and I'm down to only one letter from my mom left."

"Really? That's great! That's a lot of progress for you."

"Yeah, I'm ready to be able to not stress over reading them anymore."

"Good for you. Is there anything that you want to talk about in our session today?"

"Uh…my younger brother invited my older brother and his new girlfriend to come around to our job on Sunday. I don't know how to handle it."

"Because your brother is under the impression that you weren't giving his new girlfriend a chance?"

"Yeah, we've barely talked since then. I'm giving her a chance. I'm just uncertain because of his last girlfriend, who we've talked about in here before."

"The one who is also Randy's ex?"

Randy gave a small laugh. "That's the one."

"Well, I think that's just gonna be something that you and your older brother have a conversation about. If he doesn't want to be reasonable about that, I would just give him some time to get past that and maybe put some space between the two of you for the time being."

"Okay, that sounds good to me."

"I think you handled everything really well this week though."

"Thank you."

"Of course. I think we're done here. Good luck with your pay per view on Sunday."

I smile. "Thank you. Same time next week?"

"Same time next week."

Randy and I grab each other's hand and exit the office.

"Do you wanna go get ice cream before we leave to head to Indianapolis?" Randy asks.

I grin. "I could really go for some ice cream right now."

Randy and I were in our bed as we rode on our tour bus to Indianapolis for Survivor Series. I noticed that Randy had dozed off and slowly got out of the bed to get the last letter, the letter numbered forty, out to read. I put on my reading glasses to read before climbing back into bed.

Date: October 18, 2005

Dear Marissa, I know we got into an argument recently because I made the comments that I made about how WWE treats women and claiming you weren't going to ever be as successful as a man. I don't blame you for being upset. I was probably out of line.

I don't know if Colby said anything about this to you, but I've had a problem with drugs for the past few years. I think I'm continuing to get worse and worry that something may happen to me.

If something does happen to me, someone will find these letters. Eventually, they'll probably find their way to you. There's a few things that you should know about my reasoning behind the letters.

I really used these as a way to explain things to you if you come across these. There's some things that I would never be able to say to you in person that I've explained in these letters. I also don't expect you to understand everything that I've explained. I just want you to know what I was thinking.

No matter what though, despite our fights and the fact you haven't spoken to me since our last fight, you're still my daughter. I want what's best for you, and I will love you no matter what. I know you have a very bright future ahead of you and hope you take every opportunity that you can get.

Love, Mom

I feel tears in my eyes. I climb out of bed and take my glasses off before putting the letter away.

"Are you okay, Rissa?" Randy asks me tiredly as I climb back into the bed.

"I thought you were asleep." I whisper as I'm beginning to cry.

"I wasn't quite fully asleep yet, and my girl is crying. I think she needs me right now."

"I always need you, Randy."

Randy pulls me close. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"It was only four days before she passed away."

"Was she upset with you?"

"No, I spent all these years thinking that she may have been."

Randy held me tightly. "It's okay. She wasn't mad. Everything will be alright. It's gonna be alright."

"Thank you."

"I love you, Rissa."

"I love you too, Randy."

I cried myself to sleep, but Randy held onto me the whole time.