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Chapter 486 Facing Truth
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Tara felt attacked. There was no other word for it. Scarlett and Jax had attacked her. They were so coordinated in what they said to her, it seemed almost rehearsed. She felt stung by Scarlett's betrayal. She had really believed that she wouldn't tell Jax. She knew that Jax wouldn't tell anyone, but she hadn't wanted him to know.
Scarlett had done something that she'd never done when she and Jax were together—she'd protected Jax by refusing to call him. It was the very opposite of what she had always done when she and Jax were together. That said a lot about her and Scarlett and Tara didn't like it.
She had used Jax like her personal 911. Whenever anything went wrong in her life, she called him to come and fix it. She accidentally hit a parked car. Call Jax. She was upset over her grade in calculus and hit a stop sign. Call Jax. A skunk ran out in front of her car at night and she'd hit it. Call Jax.
One time a guy new to the school got aggressive with her when she'd walked to her car after school. He'd put his hands all over her. She warned him that her boyfriend was an outlaw biker. He'd laughed, not believing her. She'd told Jax and he'd given the guy an ass kicking he would never forget. The guy learned to keep his hands to himself after that.
She knew that if she could have called Jax the night she'd shot Kohn, Jax would have shot and killed him for her. Old habits die hard. He would have rescued her. Now, she knew that wasn't going to happen. Jax was no longer going to be her personal 911.
Being even more brutally honest, she'd returned to Charming so Jax could handle Kohn for her. She didn't know if he would follow her to Charming. She had hoped that his insanity would end and he would let her go, but, just in case, she fled to Charming where she thought she could turn to Jax for rescue.
What hurt the most about the whole meeting with Jax and Scarlett was they were right. She'd always depended on Jax to bail her out of any trouble that she'd gotten herself into and she'd expected him to handle Kohn for her especially since she'd risked her medical license and saved his life when he'd gotten shot. Jax was always bailing her out and she thought that would continue whether Scarlett was in his life or not.
He was right about standing on her own two feet. It was time for her to take care of herself and not rely on him. Jax had made it clear to her that those days were gone.
She had stood on her own two feet when she'd left Charming and handled all of life's emergencies that she used to depend on Jax to handle. Kohn was an exception. He was dangerous.
When she thought back to that night, she had been furious that Scarlett refused to call Jax. Scarlett had made her handle the Kohn situation when she refused to call Jax. As smart as Jax was, he could have made a mistake if he'd killed Kohn and gotten rid of his body. She hadn't given any thought to the rental car.
The car would have had to be disposed of and then the interior would have had to have been set on fire to get rid of any physical evidence. Kohn was a Fed; there would have been an investigation into his disappearance. Jax could have gotten caught and then what would she have done? Let him take the fall or would she have found the courage to tell the truth? Even if she did tell the truth, Jax could have spent the rest of his life behind bars for murder and she would have gone to prison too. Scarlett's refusal to call Jax may have saved not only Jax but her as well.
She had bitterly resented having to go through all the police investigation and she'd blamed Scarlett. If Jax had handled Kohn, she wouldn't have had to go through all that, but it might have been worse if they investigated Kohn's disappearance and questioned her about that. She hadn't wanted the inconvenience and the stress of having to deal with the police. It would have been far worse if she'd had to answer questions about Kohn's disappearance.
Never once did she consider what it would do to Jax to shoot and kill a man in cold blood. She'd just assumed that he'd killed for the MC and one more wouldn't matter. She also never thought about how he would have to dispose of the body and how that might weigh on him. She hadn't cared just as long as she was the one who didn't have to do her own dirty work.
How could she have been so blind and selfish? How could she never have thought about what killing Kohn would do to Jax? How could she never have thought about the impact her requests had on Jax back in high school? She thought it was so romantic when he would come riding on his bike to her rescue like a modern knight.
It was time to live in the real world as an adult. She owed Jax a big sincere apology. She hoped she could salvage her friendship with Scarlett. Scarlett had been right to refuse to call Jax as much as she hated her decision at the time. She'd protected not only Jax but her as well; she just hadn't seen it until that moment.
Jax and Scarlett were right in talking to her and now she had to make it right with both of them and grow up.
It was time to rescue herself like a modern adult woman. Besides, she thought wryly, too many modern men were looking for their safe spaces.
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Author's Note: When I would watch SOA on TV, I would miss plot holes because the plot moved so fast, but now I can see the holes. It was always strange that they never really did much of an investigation when Kohn disappeared and that rental car parked on Tara's street would have led them straight to Tara. If they'd gotten a search warrant, they would have found Kohn's blood in the bathroom. Even cleaning blood up with bleach still shows up with luminol.