Dinnertimes were always kind of tense….and tonight's dinner was the tensest that anyone had ever seen.
At least that was how Mob saw it.
Sho was at one side of the table, dad was at the other, and she was in the middle. She had her back to the refrigerator so, if she really needed to, she could get up and stop dad from crossing the kitchen. Sure he could have just lifted her or flown over the table or just hit Sho with his powers…but if that happened then she would just have to use her powers right back….
She didn't want to do that, she just wanted to eat dinner.
Her stomach had other plans, though. It was doing flips and flops in her stomach like the time she had tried to make her own yogurt. This was too much and too little. She had no idea what to call this. Dad wasn't even doing anything, he was just looking at his phone. Sho wasn't doing anything either, he was just looking down at his DS. He was getting the screen all dirty…mostly because he was all dirty. He was covered in sweat and dirty and dog hair…well she assumed that it was dog hair since he smelled so much like dogs. She didn't know what he and Shimazaki had been doing all day but she was glad that Sho came back happy.
She wished, though, that he had stayed that way.
"Does anyone want the soy sauce or can I finish it?" asked Mob. She didn't really need the soy sauce, she just wanted to say something. The atmosphere felt like something needed to be said. It was getting weird…heavy….kind of like being in a deep fog. Like the one time when she and Sho had played fog tag…back when they'd been really little. It had been thick and heavy…but it had been more fun than this.
This was the very direct opposite of fun.
"You can have it." Said Sho. Not looking up from what he was doing…which wasn't anything at all. He was mostly just putting random characters into the chat…he didn't have anyone he wanted to talk to and anything he wanted to talk about….well he did…he had a lot of things he wanted to say…
But not to big sis, no, to dad….dad who wasn't even going to look up from his stupid phone!
"Thank you." Said Mob. Sho nodded. He didn't look up from his DS. Good. She mostly just wanted dad to say something….that he was sorry….but also….also she didn't like all of this not talking. She knew that bad things happened when her family talked to each other but….but worse things happened when they were quiet. Maybe she should have invited Mukai over…or Hatori, dad liked him, or Serizawa….no, he didn't do well in stressful situations. He would have just freaked out and then she would have had to worry about him…and she had enough to worry about anyway.
Sho and dad were taking up a lot of space in her head right now. She didn't have space for anyone else.
"We don't have any more soy sauce?" asked Suzuki. He didn't look up from his phone. He couldn't. If he looked up then he had no idea what he could have said or done. Sho was right there….filthy, stinking of God knows what, and still covered in hickeys….so he hadn't even gone to see Fukuda….Suzuki would deal with this later. Right now he couldn't look up from his phone. The only thing that he could see was himself….this was pretty much a mirror. He could have….well he had things to do….but he just couldn't do anything. Not after….after what happened today….after what he learned…after that conversation he'd had with Shiori…
And what she'd told him to do.
"Maybe? I haven't looked…and I don't really want to." Said Mob as she poked her fish with her chopstick. Maybe she shouldn't have stewed it…it looked weird. Kind of mushy but also firm…kind of like tofu….nobody was eating it. She didn't care. Her head hadn't been in it tonight…maybe she should have just left everything raw…
She picked up some rice with her chopsticks…too raw.
Sho noticed too. He took one bite of his rice and put his chopsticks down…well he stabbed them into the bowl. They were sticking right up like incense sticks…she had no idea why he was trying to invite bad luck into his life. He'd already had a pretty bad day…and now he was just asking for more bad stuff to happen…but she could protect him. She was his big sister and it was her job to protect him from everything around him…anything that could have hurt him.
Even their own dad.
Dad's aura reached out towards Sho. Mob braced herself and got ready to save Sho, to put up a barrier, to even fight if she needed to. She didn't want to fight dad…she didn't want to do a lot of things…but she would do what she had to do. She was supposed to keep Sho safe. He needed someone to keep him safe. She was his big sister…this was her job.
And she was going to try her best at it.
"You know better." Said Suzuki as he fixed his son's chopsticks. Honestly. Now he was just trying to upset him. Sticking his chopsticks upwards in his bowl…Suzuki nearly never got bothered by spirits. They knew to steer clear…most of them. There were some that were so strong that even he had to put effort into exorcising…like that thing that had been terrorizing the country on and off for the past twenty years. That thing…he maybe should have looked into that thing. He had his phone right there in his hand after all….
He didn't want to.
What he wanted to do was get through this dinner. He…he had no idea how he was going to get through this…but he had nowhere else to go. He was still angry with Tadashi and Hatori lived with the most annoying human being ever to live. Suzuki did not feel like dealing with Shimazaki Ryou right now…as attractive as he was….and Suzuki could think of him as being attractive now….because now he knew what he was…who he was…
Who he couldn't help but be.
"They're my chopsticks." Said Sho as he took his chopsticks and shoved them right back into his rice. That had been on accident the first time but now…well now he didn't care if this was bad luck. Fuck dad. This was his life and if he wanted to have bad luck then he could have bad luck…and if he wanted to have a boyfriend then he could have a boyfriend….and if he wanted to break up with his girlfriend then he could break up with his girlfriend…..dad didn't get to run his life. Nobody got to run his life….and fuck anyone who wanted to try!
Really. Fuck them.
"Who wants cabbage?" asked Mob as she held out the plate with her powers. Dad didn't look up and neither did Sho.
"The chopsticks are communal." Said Suzuki. He reached over and took some more cabbage just so Shigeko could put the plate down. He didn't really want it but she seemed proud of it…well she should have been. She was good at making dinner and she was so good at keeping their home. She had done well in Masami's absence…he wondered how she would feel when the time came to step down…and it would come. Shiori would be joining their household. He had no idea when. She said that they could revisit their conversation once he got….what he needed to get…out of his system.
Not the thing to think about while he was sitting at the table with his children.
"Well I'm using them right now and unless you want to take them away from me then they're going to stay mine." Said Sho. He didn't look up. He knew that if he looked up then he would have dared dad to his face to do something. This wasn't like him. He should have at least said something. He just came home, sat down at the table, and stared at his phone until big sis put dinner on the table.
He was such an asshole.
Sho held his DS so tightly that he could hear the plastic straining. Dad better not have thought that….that he got to tell Sho what he was….who he could and could not be. Well he couldn't. Dad didn't have the right to treat him like….like he was nothing. Like he just got to decide if he liked boys or girls…like dad could just come over and tell him that he wasn't allowed to be in love with Ritsu…fucking dad….Sho wished that he would have said something or done something. Maybe he should have been the one to start it…
Big sis was picking up the tofu now…she'd worked so hard on dinner…and she hated fighting…and he loved her.
"Does anyone want some-" said Mob as she held up the plate with the fish on it. Dad and Sho…they were talking now…but dad wasn't saying that he was sorry. Even though he knew what Mob had said….he must have remembered…he still hadn't said sorry….
"Yes please, thank you." Said Suzuki as he took more of the tofu. She had worked hard on it and, obviously, she wanted to be praised right now. He understood that…at least she hadn't changed. Today, anyway. She was different…he glanced up at her. He had been expecting to see a child of nine of ten…not the very short woman that she was now. Even as different as she was now at least she hadn't turned his entire world upside down in the span of one morning. He was, in a way, grateful for that.
He was grateful to have a daughter like her…even if she was getting older….and even if there were certain developments in her life that he did not fully approve of.
"You're welcome." Said Mob. Dad was staring at her now…she didn't know why…but at least he wasn't staring at Sho. At least he wasn't mad at Sho….still mad. He had been mad before but now his aura was all closed in. It didn't even react when Sho reached across the table to get more of the fish…huh. So people actually liked this? She would have to do this again…but maybe she could find a way to put cheese on this…everyone liked cheese….well they liked it in curry anyway….she'd have to think about this for a little longer…like tomorrow's dinner.
Tomorrow's dinner.
She didn't know if she could get through another dinner like this….she was being selfish. Like Minegishi had said, before, she wasn't in the middle of all of this. Sho and dad were. No matter what happened it wasn't like she as the one who was going to get hurt. Sho was….and dad, once Sho snapped and hurt him, and then she would have to come in and fix everything once the fighting was done….she wished that there was some way to get through this without the fighting part…
But wishes didn't come true, ever, not even if you folded a thousand paper cranes.
"Give me some of that!" said Sho. He didn't really want what looked like mushy plain tofu but the more he ate the less dad would eat and then he would starve…or something. How long did it take for people to starve? He'd look it up later...much later. He knew that if he pulled his phone out either dad or big sis would tell him to put it away or he'd have to look down and see a million missed calls and texts from Fukuda. He didn't know what Fukuda wanted and he didn't care. He was going to side with dad, he always sided with dad, and Sho didn't need to be around someone who sided with dad right now.
That was why he was here and not next door.
Hatori lived there and Hatori always sided with dad. He was always hanging out with dad and being his fiend even though dad didn't deserve fiends. He deserved to die alone in a hole. He deserved to suffer and…and feel all bad and…and he sucked! He sucked and the only reason that he was still alive was because everyone else was too afraid to kill him or ever hurt him. Nobody in Claw as going to go up against dad even though he sucked. They all thought that if they did whatever he said things would be better or something once they took over the world. Well the only thing that would change was the fact that dad would be king of the world and espers wouldn't have to hide anymore. He would still be the same jerk that he had always been.
Someone needed to…to hit him…really hard so he could learn...or…or something….Sho didn't know! He could barely think!
"Don't be greedy." Said Suzuki simply. He had other things he wanted to say, of course, but he had no idea how to say them. Sho was allowed to be bisexual because there was no helping it. Sexuality was genetic, most likely, and Sho had gotten it from him…he had no idea which parent he had gotten it from and he didn't feel like holding a séance and asking them, and it didn't matter anyway. Sho was the way he was and he was that way because of Suzuki….
And he was so sorry.
He didn't know how he was even supposed to begin to apologize to Sho. Really. He couldn't mention how Sho had become the way he was, no, no son wanted to know that about his father…and anyway it was the cheating which angered him beyond belief. He wanted his grandchildren to be his grandchildren, from his bloodline, and more than that he wanted his son to grow up to be a better man than he was. There was still time for that. Like Shiori had said, Sho was only eleven years old and there was still time. Suzuki hadn't ruined him yet. Sure he had made a mistake but that was because he hadn't known that he'd done something wrong…not with the way that Suzuki had been carrying on. Suzuki…he was sorry for the example he had set….and he was sorry that Sho had been inherited what he had inherited…
Now he just neeed to find a way to express all of that verbally.
"Don't tell me how to be!" said Sho. First dad told him that he wasn't allowed to like Ritsu…well guys in general, dad didn't and couldn't know about Ritsu, and now dad was telling him how he could eat his dinner! What, did he think that he was he king of the world already? Well he wasn't! He wasn't even king of this table.
"Um…do you like it? I mean you're all taking a lot…" said Mob. She didn't know if she could tell them to stop…or be nice. She didn't know what was ok to say…she kind of wished that she had been eating alone. She kind of wanted to be alone…but what she wanted didn't matter.
"I haven't tried it yet." Said Suzuki
"Well I have! I'm trying it right now and…big sis? Why are there tiny bones in this tofu?" asked Sho as he took a bite of…what may not have been tofu. It didn't taste or smell like anything…but there were bones in it so it must have been something….something that had been alive? And…made of jelly?
"Don't be ridiculous. There are no bones in tofu." Said Suzuki as he picked at his own food. This was…it had to have been tofu….of some kind. Silken tofu? This…didn't smell like tofu…and the color was off…but…he decided to try some….
"This isn't-" said Mob. This wasn't tofu. This was fish. She had just stewed it forever in broth…her eyes looked over to the stove….oh. She hadn't…she hadn't noticed that she had forgotten to put the broth cubes in. She didn't know how she had forgotten…maybe she just hadn't had enough room in her head even for making dinner.
"There…are bones in this…." said Suzuki as he managed to swallow a bite of….some sort of food like…substance. Sustenance. That was what this food was…sustenance…..he kept on eating. He stuck his chopsticks back into the mystery substance and ate it. Shigeko had worked hard on this….and yes, sometimes her cooking wasn't the best, but she had worked hard on this and nothing good ever came from criticizing a woman's cooking skills. He…he loved Shigeko….but he didn't always love her cooking….but he could be good about this. It wasn't as though she always cooked…whatever this was…and anyway it wasn't like he would be eating nothing but her cooking for the rest of his life. Shiori…well he hadn't had much of her cooking…but he assumed she would be taking over once they married.
"I told you so! See? You don't know everything!" said Sho
"I never said that I did…what I don't know I make an effort to learn. Shigeko…I have to know…I would like to learn…what exactly am I eating?" asked Suzuki
"I tried to make stewed fish but I forgot to put the broth cubes in the water…and also I might have stewed it for too long." Said Mob. Dad and Sho pushed their plates away with their powers…and they looked up. For the first time they looked at each other. The atmosphere got weird…and red…but that was just their auras. There was so much red that it blocked out all of her aura. No more pink and blue could be seen…there was a lot of yellow too….and nothing good ever came when there was so much yellow in dad's aura….
This whole this was a disaster….well it would be…
"What?" asked Sho. Dad was staring at him…just staring. He wasn't string like he wanted to kill him…he wasn't staring at him like he wanted to even hurt him…he wasn't staring at Sho like he as anything at ll. He was just…staring.
"You…didn't see Fukuda yet today?" asked Suzuki. What he wanted to do was apologize….but he had no idea how to without mentioning things that didn't seem worth mentioning….no son wanted to know these things about their fathers just like no fathers wanted to know this about their sons…Shigeko was so lucky. As far as he knew she was perfectly normal….she had come from perfectly normal people after all…though from what had been observed of her biological brother, well from when he had been under observation…..
He hoped beyond hope that Shigeko wasn't anything other than normal.
"No…and I don't want to." Said Sho
"You can't walk around like that. You know that you can't walk around like that." Said Suzuki
"I'll just cover it with makeup while it heals." Said Mob quickly. Sho hated makeup….but she didn't want dad to hate Sho. She wanted…she just wanted things to be ok again…as ok as things could've been.
"Why not? It's my neck and if I want to walk around like this than I will." Said Sho
"You can't walk around like that because people will know what you've been getting up to." Said Suzuki
"I don't care if people know that I'm gay and I don't care if you don't like it. You don't get to tell me what I am and am not allowed to be." Said Sho. He was holding eye and aura contact with dad. He could have held this up for hours, days, years even! He held it for…a few seconds. Dad broke first….but that made no sense. Dad never broke first…but now he was looking away….
Weird.
"You're allowed to be bisexual…excuse me." Said Suzuki as he got up from the table. He couldn't squeeze past Shigeko with the way she had wedged herself in so he just lifted the table with his powers. He couldn't be there at the table. He….he had to go. Sho….he did and did not care….he id and did not care what the boy did…and he doesn't want to talk about it or anything else…
He wants to be alone…so that is what he's going to do.
"Dad-" said Mob. She didn't want him to stay…but she did want him to say sorry….but there was no way to make him say sorry. He had said that Sho was allowed to be bisexual…which was progress…even though he still didn't have the right to tell Sho who he could and could not love…but for dad that was a lot of progress.
"Fuck you!" said Sho as he got up. Dad didn't get to leave the table…he got to leave the table. He was going…well he didn't know what he was planning on doing. He made it to the living room before he decided to go to his room. Next door had Hatori….Fukuda's house had Fukuda…but his room didn't have anyone!
"Sho…dad…ok….bye, I guess." Said Mob as she caught the table. Dad had let it go after he left…she heard his door slam…and then Sho's door slammed…or maybe she had gotten the order wrong. She sighed and went back to her food. She avoided the fish…and the rice was half done…but the cabbage was at least good…
A dinner of cabbage was better than a dinner of fighting…though at least a dinner of fighting would have been a dinner with her family….though maybe it was best that they were all separated.