Hatori had no idea what Suzuki had against laptops.

This was the third one he'd broken so far. No broken like crashed, no, broken like fried. The last one had melted. The one before that had exploded. The first one had been fried. Maybe the next one would implode and take the Earth with it. That would have been pretty cool, actually, aside from the death thing. That would have really fucking sucked. Death wasn't coming, though, Suzuki wasn't pissed enough to start killing people…and anyway he didn't kill his friends. He yelled at his friends, he insulted his friends, he hit his friends, but he didn't kill them.

Somebody needed to tell Serizawa that at some point.

"President!" said Serizawa before the whole table jumped. Hatori wished that he had been telepathic or telekinetic or something like that, something that could have helped. All he could do was grab his stuff and make sure that his laptop didn't join Suzuki's in the electronics graveyard. He managed to save his laptop from the sticky death that would have come if his drink had spilled. Well he could have maybe put it in rice…but that might have just been for water….

He wasn't sure.

He never fixed his stuff when it broke, physically broke, crashing was fine. He could stop a computer from crashing without even lifting a finger. Saving a computer from crashing to the ground was another matter. He caught his laptop with one hand, his drink with the other, and that left him no hands to deal with everything else that went flying off the table.

Good thing one of them didn't need hands.

"Stop it." Said Suzuki. He caught the table and put it down. The excess energy that Serizawa put out was gone in an instant. He wondered how Suzuki did that, and it had been Suzuki. Hatori may not have had much of an aura but he could see that it was Suzuki's doing. That was so cool…kind of scary…but then again that was pretty much who Suzuki was. Cool but also really scary.

You got used to it eventually.

"S-Sorry! I just got scared…not that you're scary! You're not scary but I just…you got scared and then I got scared and-" said Serizawa. He was playing with the handle of his umbrella now. He did that when he got scared. Mob was usually pretty good at calming him down…but she wasn't around right now. She was outside smoking…she'd been doing that for a while…and a lot more than normal lately…or maybe Suzuki had just been complaining about it a lot more lately. That might have even been what had pissed him off….or scared him, as Serizawa seemed to think.

Hatori knew better. Existential things scared Suzuki, big things, things that normal people never even thought about…and also mice. He was really fucking scared of mice for some reason.

"I am not nor have I ever been frightened." Said Suzuki

"But just now your aura-" said Serizawa

"What did I just say?" asked Suzuki. Serizawa nodded and looked down. He did that thing where he tried to make himself look small…even though he must have known at this point that it wouldn't work. He was way too big...but he acted like such a kid. Well that wasn't hard, actually, to feel like a kid when you were around Suzuki. He was a dad after all. Even when none of his kids were around he still had this 'dad' energy to him that never really went away.

Also sometimes Serizawa could be more of a kid than the actual kids.

"You-you-you-" said Serizawa. Hatori reached over and put his DS back in his hands. He'd seen Mob do this for him a few times. It seemed to work. At least if he was holding onto that then he wasn't holding onto his umbrella. If he held onto it long enough then he would end up hiding under it and then Suzuki would just end up getting pissed off because Serizawa had an opened umbrella indoors. Suzuki didn't need another reason to get upset. He'd been on edge lately…way worse than anything that Hatori had ever seen before…

But that made sense considering everything that had been going on.

"Hey, it's ok." Said Hatori. Serizawa nodded. It didn't seem like he was really listening but he was at least nodding. His aura was still going crazy but not as bad as before. He didn't know how to fix it, though, that was a Mob thing…but she was busy. She was busy in the yard on her own…well hopefully on her own. There was a new aura in his range…well he knew that aura. If it had been a truly new aura then he would have been freaking out as bad as Serizawa was.

He was freaking out a little, though, just a little.

"I'm….I-I-I'm-" said Serizawa

"Stop it, you're annoying." Said Suzuki. Hatori kind of wanted to tell him that he wasn't helping but that wasn't the sort of thing that Suzuki wanted to hear…not that it looked like he wanted to hear much of anything right now. His aura was restless. He was tapping his fingers against the table. He even sighed…nothing good ever came from him being visibly pissed off. He didn't kill his friends but he wasn't afraid to start hitting people if he felt like the situation warranted it.

And judging by who's aura just came into range….yeah…maybe he did have a pretty good reason to be so pissed off…pissed off enough to start hitting people.

"He's just freaking out because Mob isn't here." Said Hatori

"Don't bother her." said Suzuki

"Are you sure? She's right outside. I wouldn't even have to go anywhere. I can just yell. Hey-" said Hatori. His mouth slammed shut…his teeth scraped. That was the worst part. He was glad that he hadn't bit through his tongue…his teeth felt a little loose…fuck, now he was going to have to see Fukuda wasn't he…no. He could live with loose, scrapped up, teeth. If he'd bitten through his tongue then it would have been another thing but he could live through this…actually he probably could have lived through a bitten through tongue too. Anything not to have to deal with Fukuda.

He had enough creeps in his life already.

The one he had to share a house with was bad enough. Hatori could feel Shimazaki's aura from here and it felt way too close to Mob's. He was always way too close to Mob. That was just how he was, he didn't really understand the concept of personal space, and Hatori…well he might have been making something out of nothing…but he knew why Shimazaki had been kicked out of the yakuza. He knew how Shimazaki could be when it came to girls and Mob was a girl. She was so little and, yeah, she was really powerful but she was just a kid…and he had to keep her safe…not that he was entirely sure if he even needed to. Shimazaki had zero sense of boundaries when it came to anyone….

Still, though, Shimazaki had been more than a little weird lately when it came to Mob.

"Don't start yelling. If you start to yell then you might get Sho yelling and I have heard enough out of that child to last me a lifetime…hopefully the baby is quieter than he's been…" said Suzuki. He was muttering by the end of that but Hatori knew what he'd heard. Suzuki had talked about it before, having a kid with his girlfriend, but he also talked about building a network of escape tunnels under Japan and living on the moon when the earth became uninhabitable. He had really big, kind of crazy, dreams….

And having another kid was the biggest and the craziest Hatori had heard in a while.

"You-you're having another baby! President Suzuki, that's wonderful! I'm so happy for you!" said Serizawa. Well at least that calmed him down…even though calm was the last thing that he should have been. Hatori had been friends with Suzuki for a while now. He knew that a kid was the last thing he needed. He hadn't exactly done a good job with the ones he had…also Mob didn't need this and neither did Sho….not that Hatori got to have an opinion….

But if he did then he would have had a lot to say….and none of them good…but sometimes he knew when to keep his mouth shut.

"Not so loud! Do you want the children to hear?" said Suzuki

"Oh! Sorry! I didn't know it was a secret." Whispered Serizawa

"And I didn't know this was actually happening." Said Hatori

"Did you think that I was lying? If I say that something is going to happen then it's going to happen." Said Suzuki

"Wait…are you really building escape tunnels under Japan?" asked Hatori

"And are you really building an elevator to space?" asked Serizawa. He actually looked excited…well that would have been cool. An elevator to space…but only if Suzuki figured out how to get wifi up there….well that would probably end up being Hatori's job…but at least he'd get to see space and he'd have plenty of space between himself and Suzuki's new kid….wait, no, that was mean…but also he just…kind of didn't want to be anywhere near the family drama that would come up when Mob and Sho found out that they had another sibling on the way.

Everyone had just gotten used to Mukai.

She was little and kind of loud…and mess….and she liked to hit and steal glasses….but everyone was used to her. She wasn't a baby, well she was, but she wasn't a little baby. Not the kind that only laid there and cried and threw up and shit like that…who was going to take care of the baby? Not Mob…she had enough to deal with….so Shiori then? So Mob and Sho were going to have to meet her? Did they even know? Wait…they probably didn't. Mob would have said something….and Sho would have screamed something. Sho had done enough screaming when Suzuki told them that he'd divorced his first wife…..there was no way in hell the kids could handle it….there was no way Claw could handle the kids getting upset…and there was no way Suzuki could handle that much family shit….so that meant that he and Hatori would be going on another working vacation….

Well they still didn't know, conclusively, how many pizza boxes it took to get to the ceiling.

"I…have many projects which are still in the planning stage….and anyway do not question me and do not breathe a word of this to my children." Said Suzuki

"Um….I don't know if I can keep a secret from Miss Suzuki." Said Serizawa. Suzuki glared at him.

"You will if you value your life…and you'll keep this secret from Sho as well. He doesn't deal well with change." Said Suzuki

"But-" said Serizawa

"It's a good plan, Suzuki, it is but don't you think that at some point Mob and Sho are going to notice another baby around here? I mean Mukai might too but she's usually off in her own world." Said Hatori

"Today she was yelling at her reflection! Sorry…it was just cute…that's all. She thought there was another person in the mirror arguing with her….and she hit the mirror a few times and that was kind of scary, especially since her mom wasn't around, but then Sho came and got her to stop and then they-" said Serizawa

"Mukai might notice too." Said Hatori. He knew Suzuki's tells and he was getting annoyed. He didn't like to talk…until he did…but he only really talked to Hatori….about all sorts of things. Things that Hatori never wanted to know about.

"Of course the children will…and when they notice Tetsuro then I will explain his existence to them. Not before, I'd like as many moments of silence as I can get." Said Suzuki

"It's a boy?! Con-congratulations President Suzuki!" said Serizawa

"It hasn't even been conceived yet…but if it's a boy then I'm going to call him Tetsuro and if I have another girl I'll call her Maetel…or whatever Shiori wants to call her." said Suzuki

"Shiori?" asked Serizawa

"His girlfriend." Said Hatori. He didn't know if he could keep this from Mob…Sho maybe, Sho's been weirdly mad at him lately…but not Mob. She was always so nice and, honestly, she didn't deserve to be blindsided like this again…but if he told her then Suzuki would end up being pissed off at him…and also Mob would be upset and judging by how close Shimazaki's aura was to hers she had enough problems as it was.

"My future wife." Said Suzuki

"You're getting married too?! Wow….President Suzuki….I'm so happy for you! Wow…I've never known anyone who was getting married before…you're so brave…" said Serizawa. The sad part was that he wasn't buttering Suzuki up, he really meant it. Hatori didn't know if brave was a good word to use. On the one hand it was good that he was moving on from Fukuda. He had thought that once Suzuki realized that he was bi he'd go right for Fukuda and then they'd fuck or whatever and then they'd be happy forever and become boyfriends or husbands or something and then they'd move to the countryside or whatever.

"Brave? That's a strange word to use." Said Suzuki

"I-I'm sorry! I just meant that…that it's scary…telling a girl you like her and then asking her to marry you…and also having kids is scary too. It's just…there's going to be a whole new person in the world because of you! That's...kind of scary…." Said Serizawa

"He's kind of got a point." Said Hatori. He was never having kids. He couldn't do it. He could barely take care of himself let alone a whole other human being. Also there was the fact that he was going to die a virgin. He accepted that fact. He didn't know any girls, first of all, and even if Suzuki didn't think he was gay anymore it wasn't like he could just go out and meet someone. Girls were…complicated…and hard to understand…and also they had never liked him. The only girl who had ever liked him was Mob…and that was so sad…but he wasn't about to go and pull a Shimazaki or a Fukuda…

No. If he ever wound up like those guys then he'd have to kill himself.

"Both of you are being ridiculous. Asking a woman to marry you isn't difficult. If she's already yours then you have no reason to fear her rejection…but, yes, birth is terrifying….extremely terrifying. There is so much blood and vomit and…and you don't even want to know….the smell of amniotic fluid never really leaves you….and then after this goes on for half a day they put up a curtain and surgically remove the baby…her organs are out and exposed to the open air…all of them….there's something disturbing about seeing your wife cut opened…and her organs out on a metal tray….still attached but by the thinnest of membranes…and the blood is just endless…" said Suzuki. Hatori had seen some fucked up shit in his lifetime, he read people's files for fun after all, but the mental picture that Suzuki just painted for him was worse than anything he'd ever seen in his life…

And he was counting that one mission that nobody ever talked about…and the thing with the noodles…and pretty much everything that Shimazaki had ever done in his life.

"P-President…." Said Serizawa. His aura was freaking out and he was turning green….not good. For as terrible a mental picture that had been for him it must have been even worse for Serizawa. He watched horror movies from in between his fingers after all. He reached out and then pulled his hand away as Serizawa's aura touched his.

He had no idea how Mob did this.

He had no idea how she could stand to be near him when he got like this. He was clutching his umbrella in both hands, now, and if felt like he was ten seconds away from exploding…this was bad…and Suzuki wasn't heling. Aside from absorbing the excess energy like an energy paper towel he wasn't helping at all….God…he needed Mob….

Right now.

"Stop that. You didn't have to witness it, and at this rate you never will, so you have no reason to act like this." said Suzuki. That didn't help, it really didn't, Hatori got the feeling that the only person who could help in this situation was Mob…or maybe he wanted to feel that way. She'd been out there for a while…and so had Shimazaki. Shimazaki wouldn't have done anything…right? Not with Suzuki right there…but this was Shimazaki. He didn't think. He didn't even know how to think. For all Hatori knew Shimazaki could have been…he didn't even want to think….

Yeah, Mob needed to get in this house right now.

"He needs Mob, I'm getting Mob." Said Hatori. He got up and started walking before Suzuki said anything. Suzuki could have grabbed him with his powers and forced him to sit back down but he didn't Maybe he missed Mob too. Maybe he missed her enough that he was going to get all weird and clingy again…Hatori would have killed for weird and clingy…well not killed, he didn't have it in him, but he would have done a lot to get weird and clingy Suzuki back.

Weird and clingy Suzuki as a hell of a lot better than weird and clingy Shimazaki.

That was the only way to escribe what Hatori set eyes on when he made his way to the backyard. Shimazaki being weird and clingy. He was WAY too close to Mob. He was touching her a lot too, his hand was on her arm, and his other hand was putting cigarettes in her braids. He was decorating her like a Christmas tree…and Shimazaki was red as a Christmas tree too….well they weren't red but…but he shouldn't have been all…red…like that. Like he was nervous or something….like he was flirting or something…with Mob….

Hatori wondered if he did have it in him to kill someone after all.

"…and another one for you….and another…and another…" said Shimazaki as he took cigarettes from a carton and stuck them in Mob's hair. He still had the one hand on her arm and the other hand in her hair. He held his hand there, right there, in her hair before he brought it down to her cheek. Mob was…unreadable…but Shimazaki was red as fuck…not drunk red….but just….red…like he was nervous….

Hatori had no idea what he was looking at and he didn't really think he wanted to know.

"Ryou, I can't smoke all of these at once." Said Mob. She had been calling him by his given name for a while…but he wanted to be called by it. He'd asked, Hatori had heard him, and…that wasn't weird in and of it's self. What was weird was how he was touching her…and how close he was….

"Well then I guess that you're just going to have to share then, aren't you?" asked Shimazaki before he leaned in close…WAY too close. He had one hand on the side of Mob's face and he was tipping her face towards his….

Oh HELL no.

"Mob! Hey!" said Hatori. Mob turned to face him. She didn't smile…or frown…or anything. She just blinked. He wished that she had said something or done something…something to give him some indication as to how she was feeling or if she was ok. Shimazaki…well he wasn't doing anything wrong that Hatori could see…sure he was being creepy but he was a creepy, touchy feely, asshole to pretty much everyone.

"Oh. Hi, Hatori. Did you want a cigarette?" asked Mob. She took one out of her hair with her powers and passed it to him. He took it to be polite…and also to piss Shimazaki off. That was the only way to describe the way he looked, like Hatori had walked up and kicked him in the back of the head. That was kind of something that needed to be done…but by someone who knew how to fight. Hatori knew that he wouldn't even have been able to get a sucker punch in before Shimazaki killed him…or just beat him up so badly that he would need to see Fukuda….a fate worse than death.

"Plan on taking up smoking?" asked Shimazaki. Hatori ignored him. Nothing good came from talking to Shimazaki for long periods of time…or short periods of time…or any period of time that wasn't totally and completely necessary.

"Thanks but…uh…I was looking for you. Serizawa's freaking out, he really needs you." Said Hatori. Mob nodded and stood up. She used her powers to put the cigarettes that had been in her hair back into the carton. She took one step forward before Shimazaki reached out and grabbed her hand….and held it…

And just kept on holding it.

"Ryou, I have to go." Said Mob

"Are you coming back out?" asked Shimazaki

"No, probably not." Said Mob

"What about later tonight? I was thinking that we could go to this place that-" said Shimazaki

"I'm probably going to be hanging out with Serizawa all night…you know…because he has a lot of feelings and he has trouble controlling his powers and….and we'll probably be playing videogames and I know that you don't like them. I remember that you said that you held a Gameboy once and it didn't really appeal to you." Said Mob

"Wow, you really remember that?" asked Shimazaki. He was smiling now…a lot…and not in a good way. He was smiling like…like Hatori didn't even want to know. Like he was nervous and…and what did he have to be nervous about? This was Mob. She was only twelve. There was no reason…..well she did have a body count…but Shimazaki wasn't that kind of nervous right now.

Hatori was a guy, he knew exactly what kind of nervous Shimazaki was right now…and it was NOT ok.

"I remember everything you tell me, Ryou, we're friends." Said Mob. That was Hatori's new favorite word. Friends. At least Mob wasn't pulling a Sho here…Sho….did Sho know about this? Not that there was anything to know…there had better not have been anything to know. Still Sho didn't need to see his longtime crush flirting with his sister. He had enough going on with coming out to his dad, his parents getting divorced, and now his dad's plans for some kind of secret wedding and baby thing…yeah…poor Sho…and poor Mob…

Pretty much poor everyone at this point.

"Yeah, about that-" said Shimazaki

"Mob, come on. Serizawa's alone with your dad." Said Hatori. He didn't need to say anymore. Mob squeaked and then ran over. Shimazaki stayed there on the ground…he was watching her walk away. Hatori made his aura bigger, as big as he could, big enough to hide Mob's from Shimazaki. He had no idea what that had been about but he knew that it wasn't anything good…

"Bye Ryou! Maybe we can hang out another day, when I'm not busy." Said Mob. She didn't turn around, she just kept on walking. That was good. Hatori put his hand on her back. Shimazaki was glaring at him, aurally, and Hatori…well he just kept on walking. There was nothing that he could possibly do to hurt Shimazaki if he even had the balls to.

Suzuki on the other hand…

Suzuki didn't need an excuse to hurt someone, he just hurt them. Suzuki would not take it well if he knew that Shimazaki had a…a thing? A thing. A thing for Mob…so gross. Hatori would have to tell him about this but not when Mob was there. She had enough happening in her life already, she didn't need this, plus…well he didn't want to be another Fukuda. Fukuda had this weird thing where he thought that everyone was trying to get with Mob. If someone asked Hatori, not that anyone ever asked, he would have said that Fukuda was the one who was into her…but he knew better than to go around accusing people of that without proof…not that he had proof but this was Shimazaki. Everyone knew his history…well everyone but Mob…but whatever. He'd talk to Suzuki and Suzuki would kick his ass and then everything would be back to normal.

Well as close to normal as he could get with Suzuki as a friend.