Mob didn't know how to play croquet.
Neither did Sho and especially not Mukai. Since none of them knew how to play Mob was, of course, kind of confused why they even had a croquet set. Mukai had found it in one of their boxes. Mob had told the Awakened to box up everything that they had ever left at a Claw house and send it to Tokyo. That included the box of outdoor toys that she and Sho hadn't even though about since they'd been really little. They had all kinds of things in there. Baseball bats and cricket bats, soccer balls, basket balls, bowling balls, a whole lot of balls really but also a full croquet set that they hadn't even touched once.
Mob could see why.
"I'm winning!" shouted Mukai as she did her best to hit the ball through the hoop. Mob and Sho didn't know if the hoops had to go in a specific order or not, they just sort of stuck the hoops in the ground randomly. They weren't sure if it mattered. It didn't matter to Mukai, she was having fun, even if she was hitting the ball around the hoop.
"Um…I think so? I wasn't keeping score." Said Mob as she zipped her jacket all the way up to her neck. It was getting colder out. She reached out with her powers and tried to do the same for Sho but he just undid his coat right when she finished. She didn't get it, he must have been as cold as she was, but she didn't want to fight with him. They hardly played together anymore these days. He had his hamsters and his cat…well it was pretty much Fukuda's cat now….but he had his own life and she had her own life. Her life was mostly chores these days…but that was ok.
She messed up. She deserved it.
"Just let her win, she deserves it. I mean she's not playing right but I don't even know how to win at this game." Said Sho as he pushed Mukai's ball through the hoop for her. He used his powers but she could still tell. She turned around and swung her mallet at him.
Mob caught it.
She shouldn't have been hurting people like that. She was acting like dad…but that made sense since she was dad's kid. Sho had done a lot of hitting, too, when he'd been little. Mob couldn't remember ever hitting anyone but she took after mom more than she did dad. At least in the way she acted. She didn't look like a single person in her family, not anyone, and it was weird…but genetics were weird like that. Sho had gotten all of the half and she had gotten all of the Japanese. That was all. If they could have traded then of course she would have agreed to it. Then she could have looked like everyone else in her family…wait, no! Then Sho would have had to be the one who looked different and he didn't deserve that. He was the greatest little brother in the whole world and she loved him and…and he didn't need to feel the way she felt….why did she have to be so selfish?
She had been nothing but selfish lately….and she had no idea how to stop and be good again.
"I think that it's like minigolf, maybe, like you have to get the ball through the hoops without a lot of hits…or something." Said Mob as she held onto Mukai's mallet with her powers.
"Let go! Let go now! Over there!" shouted Mukai as she tried to pull her mallet out of Mob's telekinesis. She wasn't strong enough, yet, to break it. The only person who could break it was dad and he wasn't home, for once. Sho could sort of break it if she let him. Mukai….well she could always let Mukai have the mallet. She could always have let Mukai have the mallet, she was getting upset, but if Mob let her have it then she was going to hurt Sho and the last thing that Sho needed was to get hit with a croquet mallet. They so rarely played together anymore….
He could have left at any time…and she couldn't have that.
"Just let her have it." Said Sho
"But then she'll hit you and I don't want her to hit you." Said Mob
"Give it back! Give it back right now!" said Mukai
"I don't care. She's little, she can't hurt me." Said Sho
"But she-" said Mob
"I've had worse." Said Sho. Mob decided to do what Sho asked. She couldn't really argue with that. He'd had a lot worse before. She'd seen him hurt and beat up and…and another way that she was selfish. She was the most selfish big sister in the world. She'd spent her whole life letting dad hit Sho…and now she was stopping her baby sister from having fun…she didn't know what was wrong with herself sometimes. It was like she had just woken up one day and become this….this person. This selfish person.
She took after mom.
She got the feeling, sometimes, that mom had been really selfish. She didn't know why mom had left and…and maybe the 'whys' didn't matter. She didn't get to have a reason. She shouldn't have left. She had a house and people inside of it so she should have stayed with her kids in her house. She should have…she should have been there. If she had been there then maybe Mob wouldn't have been so selfish. She wouldn't have been so selfish when it came to Sho because she wouldn't have had the chance to be silence. Mob could have…well she could have had some time to do…she didn't even know what she would do.
Spend time with her friends?
If she didn't have to do all the stuff mom did then she could have spent more time with her friends…and she kind of did. She spent a lot of time with Serizawa. He was inside now, it had been too much for him to be outside all day, and she…well she knew that she had to go and hang out with him. They were friends and…and it was selfish of her to want to spend time with her brother and sister and it was selfish of her not to want to spend time with her other friends….but she couldn't spend time with her other friends because she was selfish and…and she'd made her best friend's boyfriend like her….
She was so selfish.
She wondered what mom would have done. She must have known how to get a boy to stop liking you, that seemed like the sort of thing that moms knew. They knew about being adults and being in love and…and all the stuff that people did when they were in love. She didn't even know what all of those things were…mom would have known…not that she even knew if she could have asked her mom. She couldn't talk to her dad about this…even though dad was her dad. He had said that he'd kill Shimazaki if he knew about the kissing and the liking her and stuff…but anyway she was a girl and dad was a boy and she was never going to talk to a boy about this. At least mom had been a girl. She might have known more stuff than Minori knew…and Minori didn't really know a lot…at least Minegishi thought so. Her plan to just be busy all the time worked….but Mob didn't want to be busy all the time.
She wanted to hang out with her best friend…she was so selfish sometimes.
Even now. She felt like letting go of the mallet was selfish…but holding onto it would have been selfish….maybe everything was selfish. She didn't know. Sometimes it felt like getting up in the morning was selfish. Drinking the last of the milk was selfish….drinking the first of the milk was selfish….drinking the middle of the milk was selfish….she wondered how she stopped being selfish. Maybe if she didn't do anything at all….
Well that wasn't any less selfish.
Mukai swung her mallet again and Mob didn't do anything to stop her. Sho didn't mind if she hit him so maybe it would have been more selfish if Mob had tried to stop her. She didn't know. She did know that maybe she should have done something, anything, even if it was just stopping Mukai from swinging such a heavy mallet or….or helping her? Whatever would have kept her from letting go of her mallet and sending it sailing right into the next yard.
Where her friends lived.
"Wow…baby sis is strong…" said Sho as the mallet went sailing right into Minegishi's garden. She hadn't known that Mukai was even capable of being that strong…though she had been using her powers. Well her aura. She didn't have powers yet but her aura was getting better.
"I'm strong! Mukai is strong!" said Mukai. She picked up a ball and threw it at the house…and then another…and another.
"Wow…you really are." Said Mob. She didn't know if this was a good thing or not. This was a Claw house so it didn't matter if it got broken, they could just move, but it didn't look like dad was planning on them ever moving again. They should have moved weeks ago if his emails were to be believed but, for some reason, they had just been staying in Tokyo. She didn't have anything against Tokyo though she would have liked to have lived in a bigger house…and one that Mukai hadn't broken.
She was strong, croquet balls were hard, and windows were made of glass.
"I won! I won! I won!" shouted Mukai as she threw balls against the house. Mob looked at Sho. Sho looked back at her. She didn't know if she would have been selfish if she stopped Mukai. She was so happy right now…but she was going to break the house…but that didn't matter. She was happy and who was Mob to take her happiness away for no reason? But on the other hand they had to live in this house for maybe forever….
"Yeah, you won! You're the greatest croquet player in the whole world!" said Sho. Mob…didn't think that Sho needed to say that. Mukai was even more excited now. She was jumping up and down and throwing croquet balls…they sure did put a lot in a set….at Mob. She caught them with her powers but that just made Mukai mad. Sho tried to get her to throw them at the house but she wasn't listening. She was a lot like Sho had been when he had been little. He used to play target practice back when they'd been little kids. He used to shoot her with nerf guns or water guns or he just threw things at her...and it had been a game but not a very fun one. It hadn't been a fun game then and it wasn't a fun one now…Mob wanted…she was being selfish again. She wanted to go home and lay down. She wanted to have some of her pen but she didn't know where it had gone. She didn't know where her things went and she was just…she was too tired to figure it out. She wanted to go to bed even though it was still the morning…..
Or maybe she just didn't want to be here.
She looked over to the garden, to Minegishi's garden. It felt like them. She could see their aura glowing bright in the plants…well that made sense. They were the one who grew the garden after all and they were the one who kept it from dying in the cold. It was November now, gardening season was over, and last year she had been the one who helped Minegishi get their plants ready for winter. Mob had a lot more energy to her than Minegishi did, that was why she was the one who helped…but Minegishi had done it themselves this year…Mob would have helped if they'd asked her to.
If she'd been able to let them ask her to
She couldn't even see her best friend anymore. She…Mob wished that she had a reset button or an easy button or a save and quit button…some button that could make this whole thing over. That could just make everything go back to the way it was before…but she couldn't do that. She could only live in the life she had made for herself. It was kind of lonely, kind of tired, and kind of…a lot of things. Lonely…if she was letting herself be selfish she would have said that she was lonely. Even if she was playing with her brother and sister she was still lonely.
No matter where she went or what she did she would still be lonely….and selfish. A lonely and selfish person.
So, really, over here or over there she'd been lonely…so she might as well go and get Mukai's mallet. She couldn't let it be lost, first of all, and second of all she couldn't just let Minegishi's garden get crushed. So that was what she did. Mukai and Sho were playing some game that was even farther from what the rules of croquet were. They were throwing balls against the house…at least the windows hadn't broken, and Mo could let them o that b he wanted no part in it. What she wanted...if she was going to let herself be even more selfish than she was, she would have said that she wanted to be near to her best friend…
Or at least their aura.
Minegishi's aura got even brighter the closer Mob got to their garden. She could see it, the green of it, though the plants. They looked healthy despite the cold. The tiny lemon trees…Mob made sure not to touch those….and the leafy plants and the purple flowers and those plants that Minegishi made that looked like berries but tasted like tomatoes. If Mob had been there when Minegishi had been working on the garden she would have planted strawberries to put in her milk. It didn't make the same thing as strawberry milk but with some sugar it was really good…even if it was bad for her….Minegishi was always telling her what was good for her and what was bad for her.
At least they had, before everything.
Mob wondered what they would have said if they knew that she was walking through their garden. She was careful not to step on anything, she could have fixed anything she hurt but Minegishi still wouldn't have liked her waking around through the plants like this. She walked lightly, as lightly as she could, and took care not to step on anything. Not a single flower or plant or berry or fruit or…or anything. Not even the big pile of vines in the middle of the garden.
The big pile of moving vines….
The vines opened up like a caterpillar's house…the kind that they lived in when they were turning into butterflies…a cocoon! That was what it looked like. It looked like a big, person sized, cocoon. It had to be person sized. Mob knew, as she watched the vines come apart, that she hadn't just been feeling Minegishi's aura in the plants. No, she'd been feeling their aura from their actual self. They were there, sleeping, in their garden…and now they were awake…
If Mob had been a less selfish person then she would have run away.
But she was selfish….and also she hadn't had the chance. Minegishi knew that she was there. If Mob had just turned around and run away then she would have been very rude to her best friend. She couldn't add rudeness to the list of things that she had done to Minegishi. She had kissed their boyfriend and that was already enough of a betrayal. She had kissed their boyfriend…and trampled their garden….she couldn't be any meaner to her best friend that she had been already.
Mob had been such a bad…selfish…terrible friend…..
"Morning, Mob." Said Minegishi
"Um…good morning? Why…why are you sleeping on the ground?" asked Mob
"Communing with nature." Said Minegishi
"Oh…ok. You do that a lot…that's normal…I mean…um…" Said Mob. It was, Minegishi spent a lot of time in their garden just sitting and feeling the sun and their plants. It was nice, like meditating, only you didn't have to sit cross legged and think of nothing. Thinking of nothing wasn't that easy. Like now. She was doing her best to think of something other than Shimazaki and how much Minegishi loved him and how Mob had betrayed her best friend…and for what? Kisses that she hadn't even wanted or liked…well she had…but not that much! Kisses were for love and she didn't love Shimazaki…well kisses were for friends with benefits but she didn't want to be that or…or anything else with Shimazaki!
All she wanted to be, with him, was back to normal…but that was never going to happen. This was life. This was what life was now and Mob had to get used to it.
"I know what you mean…and get off the pumpkin roots. They're getting pissed off." Said Minegishi. Mob practically jumped off of the root under her feet. She didn't know that she had been hurting it…or that this had ever been a pumpkin to begin with.
"Sorry!" said Mob
"It's fine, they aren't meant to grow in the fall anyway." Said Minegishi
"Then why did you plant them?" asked Mob
"Because Ryou brought home a pumpkin and carved it in our room." Said Minegishi. Mob nodded. She didn't know what she could say. Shimazaki…why had they had to mention Shimazaki? Why had they had to mention…well he was the love of their life. They had the most perfect love story ever and Mob had ruined it. She was like the girl in the anime who came and tried to take the boy away from the girl he was meant to be with, usually the childhood friend but also sometimes the girl who was mean all the time but loved him, and she didn't want to be that character. She wanted to be the one girl who looked like she was younger than everyone else and did cute things. She didn't want to be the boyfriend stealer!
But she was….and there was nothing that she could say to defend herself.
"What time is it?" asked Minegishi as they sat up. They were in their hoodie, the nice purple one that they had with the flower on the front, but also their pajama pants and now shoes for some reason. Mob didn't know why they were outside with no shoes on. You were supposed to always wear shoes outside…and also it was cold out. Not as cold as winter but summer was definitely over. Minegishi hated it when it got cold out. It was like the world went to sleep, they said, and all the plants were gone and there was a layer missing from the world. They hated the winter…Mob hoped that they moved somewhere warm after this.
Somewhere that Minegishi could be happy…and she could be happy for her very best friend.
"Um….around nine? I don't know. My phone's inside and we've been playing croquet for a while." Said Mob as Minegishi stretched. They looked tired…well they always looked tired but today they looked extra tired.
"I didn't know you played croquet." Said Minegishi
"I don't, not really, we just found the set. I don't really know the rules or anything like that." Said Mob. Minegishi finished stretching. They pulled their hoodie down over their stomach…and then started to stand up. She kind of wanted Minegishi to go back to sleep. She kind of wanted Minegishi to not talk to her or look at her or…or anything….but also she wanted Minegishi to pick her up and hug her and tell her that they didn't care that she'd stolen their boyfriend without really trying to or that even though they were in an open relationship it still wasn't ok but they forgave her. She wanted…she wanted a lot of things….
But of course she didn't say anything. She had been selfish enough as it was.
"I can see that. You know, you're supposed to use the mallets to hit the balls, not the other way around." Said Minegishi as they stood up and handed her Mukai's croquet mallet. Mob took it and nodded.
"Um…" said Mob
"Or maybe you can. I'm not…I'm not going to tell you what to do." Said Minegishi
"Thank you, I'll be sure to tell Mukai….this was her mallet. She got mad at Sho or…or maybe she just likes to hit people. I don't know. Um…I don't…um…bye!" said Mob. She turned around, quickly, before she said anything else. She couldn't help it. She felt like saying…she felt like saying a lot of things that she knew it would have been better if she didn't say, She wanted to tell Minegishi how sorry she was, how she hadn't meant to do anything, and how she would have taken it back if she could…but she didn't know how to so she didn't say anything. Minegishi stopped her from leaving…that made keeping her mouth shut even harder….
But she did her best.
"Mob, wait, we need to talk." Said Minegishi. Nothing good ever came from people telling her that they needed to talk. Talking was…well talking was good, it was always good to talk about your problems, at least…that was how she had thought before. How she had felt about talking…..she couldn't talk about this. She couldn't say a single word about…about any of this….anything that she had done.
"We are talking…um…we can talk later. I need to get this back to Mukai and then we need to finish our game and then I need to iron dad's shirts and then I need to do Serizawa's laundry and then I have to visit his house in Harvest Moon and then-" said Mob
"I know about Ryou." Said Minegishi. Mob stopped talking. She stopped thinking. She stopped breathing. She just…she stopped. Even her aura stopped. It stopped moving…but it got brighter…too bright. It was so bright and…and she felt like…she tried to control her powers. She tried to take them and force them down, deep down, so far down that she didn't even know what to do with them…so that was what she did. She forced them down.
Too far down.
The ground under her feet began to rumble. She stepped to the side as soon as she remembered how to move. There was a pumpkin where she had been standing…and then another one…and another one. There were little pumpkins everywhere. Minegishi looked around and shrugged. Their aura showed but…but not like they were mad….even though they had ever single right to be mad at her. Not only had she stolen their boyfriend but now she had messed up their garden too!
She was such a terrible friend sometimes…all of the times.
"I-I-I-I-" said Mob
"Mob, don't." said Minegishi
"But I-" said Mob
"I said not to." Said Minegishi
"But Minegishi I….I'm sorry! I'm sorry for what I did to you! I didn't mean to! I didn't even want to-to-to" said Mob
"I know everything and I'm not mad at you." Said Minegishi. Mob wondered if she was going deaf. Dad was always telling her not to use headphones or she'd end up ruining her hearing…maybe it had happened. Maybe she was going deaf or-or losing her mind or-or this was all just a dream like in that one show-
"That's why you've been avoiding me, right? Because you thought I'd be mad at you?" asked Minegishi
"I-I haven't been….I mean I just…just….I've been busy." Said Mob. That was…not a total lie. She had been looking for things to be busy with and…and that was…still not a nice way to treat Minegishi but…but at least she couldn't add lying to the list of things that she'd done to Minegishi.
"Uh-huh, busy. Mob, I'm not stupid. I mean I didn't put two and two together but, really, I had no idea that there was anything to put together…and I'm sorry for that." Said Minegishi. Their aura was pulled in tight and their face looked…even Mob could tell that they were sad…but she had no idea what they were sad about. Well Mob had kissed their boyfriend and that was enough to be sad about….but she hadn't meant to! It had just happened!
"Why…why are you sorry? You didn't do anything." Said Mob
"I didn't notice that he had feelings for you." Said Minegishi
"I-I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean to make him like me and if-if I had some way of-of figuring out what I did to make him like me-" said Mob. Minegishi sighed and put their hand on her shoulder. Part of Mob expected that she was going to get hit even though she hadn't been hit since dad slapped her last summer…and also Minegishi had never hit her before. Friends didn't hit friends.
"You didn't do anything. Ryou…it's an emotional thing for him….not that it's much better. You didn't do a damn thing wrong, that's the point." Said Minegishi. Mob…she had no idea what she was hearing. Of course she had done a d-word thing wrong! She'd kissed their boyfriend! A lot of times! And some of the times it felt nice…this weird mixture of nice and 'get away from me' but…but still nice and…and….Mob didn't get it!
"But I did do something wrong. I made him like me. I made him-" said Mob
"You didn't 'make' him do anything. Ryou is thirty two, you're twelve, he's the one who...you know what, Ryou said he'd leave you alone and that's the end of it. I know what happened, he told me, I told him off, and that's the end of it." Said Minegishi. Mob nodded. Minegishi really was the best friend that she'd ever had in her life. They were willing to forgive something as terrible as Mob kissing and almost stealing the love of their life…Minegishi was amazing….and Mob wished that she grew up to be at least half as amazing as they were. This whole thing…this whole thing was just…amazing…
The end of it.
Now things could go back to normal….well…mostly. She didn't how she and Shimazaki were supposed to be friends after this. How she could sit in the same room as him and just…be his friend…after she knew what it was like to kiss him. After she knew that he wanted to kiss her…and do other stuff to her…but at least…if Minegishi said that it was over then it was over and things could go back to normal and…and Mob would do her best and….and it was finally over and done with.
She hugged Minegishi.
She hadn't planned it. She just, before she even knew what she was doing, leaned forward and hugged them. She stepped on the vines under her feet, and a tiny pumpkin broke, but she didn't care. She had forgotten what it was like to hug Minegishi. They smelled like dirt…they were covered in it…but she didn't mind. She couldn't imagine anything better than giving Minegishi a hug.
Besides getting hugged back.
They hugged her back. Their arms wrapped around her and they rested their head on top of hers. They said, again, that they were sorry but she didn't know what they were so sorry about. They weren't the one who nearly stole her boyfriend. They weren't the one who kissed her boyfriend. They weren't the one who her boyfriend said was pretty and had nice breasts and stuff…and if Mob had a boyfriend and he wanted to be with Minegishi instead of her then she wouldn't have minded. She was the one who had nearly taken Shimazaki from her…so she deserved it…she deserved to be even with them.
But Minegishi wasn't like that…they were nice to her…they were the nicest person that she had ever met. She loved them more than anyone else in the whole world.
"I love you more than anyone else in the world." Said Mob. Well…mostly. Sho and Mukai were still throwing croquet balls around. She loved her brother and sister more than anything else in the world…well it was a different kind of love. The love she had for her siblings was different than the love she felt for her best friend…and that was different than the love she felt for her other friends…including Shimazaki. The love she felt for Shimazaki was different than the love she felt for boys….well if any boy would ever love her…or if she saw Teru again. She wasn't in love with Shimazaki, that was the point, and he wasn't in love with her and….and this was shaping up to be a pretty good day…the best day she had ever had in her life. Shimazaki….he didn't like her like that anymore! And she had her best friend back! What could have made this better!?
Well….no, no, no! Nothing could have made this better and she could not be selfish like that!
"Same. I love you, Mob, and I am so sorry for…for everything." Said Minegishi
"You don't have to be sorry, you didn't do anything." Said Mob
"That's the point…but…it's over, that's what matters. Now come on, let's go and play croquet." Said Minegishi. Mob blinked. Minegishi hated doing anything that wasn't sitting very still and indoors. They even complained about gardening and they loved plants.
"But…you hate playing outside." Said Mob
"Yes but I love you and, honestly, watching them is painful for me. Come on, let me teach you how to play what has to be the world's most boring lawn game." Said Minegishi. Mob didn't question it, she just followed them through the garden and over to her yard. This was amazing! This was the best day ever! She could have floated away…actually she did a little…but she kept her powers under control. As happy as she was she still had to control her powers and set a good example for her little brother and sister. No, she kept her happiness to herself and she kept her feet on the ground and she did her best to learn how to play croquet.
Croquet wasn't very difficult at all…pretty boring….but she had good company and that more than made up for it.