Mob probably could have lived at the tram station if she wanted to.
She wondered if people did that. If people just went to sleep I here at the end of the day and then in the morning they got up and got what they needed from the train station store. That would have been a little complicated, actually, since people had to go to work too. They couldn't just hang out here all day…but they could sleep here. They sold blankets and pajamas in this store.
They sold everything in this store.
"Um…Minegishi?" asked Mob as she followed Minegishi through the little train store. She bumped into them as they came to a stop in front of a bunch of leggings…which was weird since they didn't wear leggings.
"What is it?" asked Minegishi as they flipped through some cheap feeling leggings. Small, small, large, extra-large….how was this place out of medium?
"Why are you looking for leggings? You hate leggings." Said Mob. She didn't know why they were shopping in the first place. They had places to be….and also Mob hadn't gotten her strawberry milk yet. If she had been a more selfish person she would have just asked if they could get the milk and then if they could get on the next train out of here…but she was done being selfish. If her best friend needed new leggings then that was what they were going to shop for. New leggings…even though she had no idea why they would have wanted to wear leggings. They were boxers, wouldn't they have shown through the leggings? That was why you weren't supposed to wear leggings as pants, Minori had said, because people could see your underwear…
And people were looking at her enough as it was.
They might have been looking at Minegishi, though, sometimes people looked at them to try and figure out if they were a boy or a girl. Sometimes people stared, too, because of their purple hair. Mob wished that…if she had been more selfish then she would have wished that everyone had been looking at Minegishi instead of her. Wishes did sometimes come true after all. That was why Minegishi was here. She had wished for them and then they got here…and…and maybe she wanted people to look at them, even in kind of a mean way, because then if people were looking at them then they wouldn't be looking at her…
If they looked at her then…then they would all be able to tell….
"They aren't for me, they're for you." Said Minegishi as Mob pressed herself into their side. They reached over and patted her on the top of her head. They knew the feeling, the walk of shame feeling. That feeling that she was being watched….they needed a better phrase besides walk of shame. How had Ryou put it…stride of pride? That was better….but Mob was twelve so there was nothing to be prideful about here…
But nothing shameful, either.
At the end of the day it was her body. She could choose to share it with whoever she wanted to. Telling her not to have sex wouldn't work. She was nearly a teenager and there was no point in telling a teenager not to have sex. Besides, she'd already done it so it was a little like trying to put the toothpaste back in the tube. Nope, once it was out then it was out and trying to put it back just made a bigger mess. The only thing you could do was hose down the bathroom and go to the store. Well there wasn't any place to hose Mob down but they could at least get a change of clothes on her…and then…their eyes jumped over an aisle. This was…not the place to explain safe sex to her. No, they'd do that at home…
They still had that morning after pill….right?
They had better have had it. It wasn't fun, it would probably end up making Mob sick, but it was better than there being a little Mob running around in nine months. If they didn't have one then they were robbing a pharmacy. There was no way that they were taking Mob to a doctor. They didn't even know if she had an insurance card. They wouldn't have put it past Suzuki to take both of his kids completely off the grid…and anyway if Mob did go to a doctor then he would have known and Minegishi knew that this was not the sort of thing Suzuki would take well. Mob didn't need to deal with that…she should have thought of all of this before she went and-
Calm down.
"But I hate leggings too. I think that I might even hate them more than you do. They're like pants but you can wear them under a dress…and pants are even worse…maybe. Not that I don't like your pants, I do. I just don't like pants." Said Mob
"Well your choices are leggings or 'I heart Seasoning City sweat pants'. So unless you want the sweat pants…." Said Minegishi with a sigh. They got the feeling that they had to spell it out for her. How could she not have noticed? Not even Mob could be that incredibly clueless.
"I don't want any pants at all. I hate pants." Said Mob
"Well you need something besides that dress." Said Minegishi
"Why?" asked Mob. Minegishi sighed and then leaned in really close. Mob didn't know what they were getting so close for. She got the feeling that they were going to tell her a secret…but Minegishi didn't have any secrets….right? Mob didn't…not at this point, and not from Minegishi. They knew. They knew about Teru…at least she figured that they did. That they knew everything…
They weren't mad.
Or at least they weren't acting like it. Mob had seen them mad. They attacked people with plants when they got mad, they said bad words when they got mad, they said mean things when they were mad…but they hadn't said or done anything mean to Mob….but maybe they were going to now. Maybe they were mad that she'd been selfish and that she'd had sex and that…that she had…she got the feeling that she had done something really bad and….and she….she…
She was prepared to deal with whatever it was that Minegishi was planning on telling her.
"Because you smell like sex and you need to change." Whispered Minegishi. The discretion was for her benefit, not theirs. They'd talk about whatever they wanted to talk about in public. They didn't care who heard. Mob did, though, and she'd been through enough today…it had been her own doing but she'd been through enough. Minegishi didn't need to embarrass her on top of everything else that she must have been feeling.
It had to have been worse than what Minegishi was feeling.
Minegishi was feeling like they wanted to crawl into a hole, bury themselves, and come out in the springtime. By that time all of this would have passed and they could get their life back to normal…but of course that wasn't going to happen. First of all the ground was way too hard, second of all it was freezing outside, and third of all Mob needed them. Without them around Mob…Mob was liable to do this again…and again…and again. Minegishi didn't want to have to attend any baby showers, gender reveal parties, or christenings. They didn't want to have to get up at midnight with a screaming little Mob. They didn't want to change any diapers, give any baths, and deal with any baby vomit. Mob didn't need to deal with that either…but she would if she wasn't careful.
If Minegishi didn't teach her how to be careful.
There was supposed to have been more time…but that was the worst assumption that a person could possibly make. That there was time. There was never enough time for anything. This fuck up was partially on Minegishi for not sitting her down and explaining everything to her. They hadn't seen this coming just like they hadn't seen her first period coming…well of course they hadn't seen it coming. They weren't her parent. What she needed right now was a parent, preferably her mother since they got the feeling that this was well outside of Suzuki's area of expertise, but she didn't have one of those now did she? All she had in the world was Minegishi…
So, really, they were both fucked.
"I-what?!" asked Mob. Behind her a shelf full of mugs fell to the ground. She covered her face and shook her head. Not only had she broken something but, also, she smelled like…it had a smell? People could smell her? Was that how they could tell?! She felt a hand on her back. Minegishi was leading her away….but…but she had to stay and clean up what she'd broken!
"Minegishi, I have to-" said Mob
"Keep walking, Mob, keep walking." Said Minegishi. They had tossed a pair of large leggings into their basket. Mob would live. She just needed a change of clothes. Minegishi kept their hand to her back as they walked her through the tiny convenience store. They threw whatever they needed in their basket as they walked through the store. Leggings for Mob. An 'I Heart Seasoning City Winterfest' sweatshirt. Perfume that was just claimed to be genuine from France. Baby wipes. Tiny travel sized deodorant. A ridiculously overpriced three pack of underwear they hoped was in Mob's size, she didn't seem to be in the mood to talk, tiny mouth wash, and then at the end a bottle of strawberry milk.
And a pack of cigarettes, too, since Mob looked like she needed it.
They knew that they shouldn't have been giving her cigarettes, she was twelve and there was the whole cancer thing, but Mob looked like she needed a smoke. This was…Minegishi actually had no idea what this was. She wasn't with the kid she slept with so they assumed that something had gone wrong…or maybe Mob just felt like hooking up with someone…but that wasn't like her. Mob was way too emotional for that…and she was twelve. So this was…if this wasn't something that had been Mob's idea from start to finish then they were digging a kid sized hole in the ground and planting a tree, winter be damned. They knew Mob….they knew that if it came to it she would just go along with anything….
Well they were there for her…and they were going to deal with this. It wasn't like anyone else in her life could.
"Don't open that milk yet, you have to get changed. Come on." Said Minegishi as they led her to the bathroom. They never went into pubic bathrooms if they could avoid it, someone always got way too invested in who was taking a piss next to them and Minegishi was not in the mood to explain their existence right now. They had to do this for Mob. She was the kid here and they were the adult…and being the adult meant sucking it up and going into a public bathroom sometimes.
Thank God for their coat.
They read as female with their coat and hat on. They weren't sure what exactly was so feminine about flowers, unless you were growing weed plants were both male and female, but they weren't in the mood to stand there and give strangers lessons in botany any more than they were in the mood to give Mob a much needed, and much overdue, sex-ed lesson. They weren't in the mood for any of this. What they were in the mood to do was go home and just lay down with a nice book.
But none of this was about them.
"Do you want me to guard the bathroom for you?" asked Mob as Minegishi led her into the girl's bathroom. Sometimes Mob had to guard the bathroom for them. People could be kind of mean to them, sometimes, because Minegishi kind of looked like a boy. She didn't want anyone to be mean to Minegishi but….well it would have bene a nice distraction from…well, all of this…but that would have been selfish of her so she stopped wishing for things.
"No, I'm fine. You need to change, though." said Minegishi
"In the middle of the bathroom? I can't-" said Mob. Minegishi rolled their eyes and opened up one of the stalls for her. Mob was glad that nobody was in the bathroom. She didn't know what she would have done if someone had seen her being so clueless.
"Here, use the handicapped stall." Said Minegishi
"But…what if a handicapped person needs it?" asked Mob
"Well then I'll knock three times and you can climb over the top into the next stall. Alright?" asked Minegishi. Sarcasm was lost on Mob. They knew this….and they knew that they shouldn't have lost their temper with her. They weren't mad…they couldn't be mad….even though they knew for a fact that they had explained how pregnancy worked. They had sat her down and explained that she could have a baby now…they had…
Mob needed them and they needed to be there for her. That meant calming down.
"But…I don't want to climb over the top." Said Mob
"Then I suggest you get changed fast." Said Minegishi as they lightly pushed her into the stall and closed it. They kept their hand on the door until they heard her lock it. Good. She was doing what she was told…if Minegishi could even give her orders. Would she even follow them? They had never told her not to have sex…but….she didn't know what she was doing…so Minegishi could give her orders…but she was still Mob. She still outranked Minegishi. She was technically their boss. She didn't act like it but she was…and she could have easily told Minegishi that she was going to walk around smelling like sex if she felt like it…not that they knew why she would have felt like it…
Not that they knew why she did any of the things she did.
They had no idea what had brought her here. Probably not the Seasoning City Winterfest…whatever that was. Minegishi would Google it later. They needed to think up a story, something that could satisfy Suzuki's burning curiosity as to why his daughter had gone all the way to Seasoning City without telling him. They had no idea what Fukuda was planning on telling him…they had to think up a lie first….
Seasoning City Winterfest it was.
"Hey Mob, if your dad asks we were at the Seasoning City Winterfest." Said Minegishi
"But….I don't want to lie to my dad." Said Mob. Dad didn't like it when he got lied to…even though he'd told a bunch of lies to her already. He had said sorry and Mob didn't want to go and do the thing that she'd already been really mad at him for doing. It made her feel slimy and gross…almost as slimy and gross as she felt right now. Standing in her underwear in a public bathroom…this was gross. She was careful to stand only on her shoes, she didn't want to touch the floor. It was so dirty…she felt so dirty…she needed a bath….she needed to go home and take a bath and not tell dad anything. Yes, if she and Sho beat him home then he never had to know what happened.
There. That was a good plan.
"Do you want to tell him the truth?" asked Minegishi incredulously. Oh yeah, that would have gone over really well. Hi dad, where was I all day? Getting railed by some kid. You don't know him but he might be the father of your grandchild. Oh yeah, the only thing that could have made that better was if Mob showed up at home nine months pregnant and ready to pop….
Minegishi needed a drink.
"No! No, no, no! He can't ever know!" said Mob. She did her best to keep her powers under control. She needed a drink. She wanted a drink more then than she had ever wanted it in her life. Dad could never, ever, know about this…nobody but Minegishi could ever know…but people did know. They could see it written all over her face and they could smell her…she smelled her dress…she could never wear this dress again. Her dress and underwear were ruined…she didn't want to bring this stuff home. If she brought it home then she would have to wash it and then if she washed it then…then she might have gotten caught and then she'd have to explain herself….and she didn't want to explain these things to her dad!
Mom…not even to Mom if she had been around.
She wondered if mom would have been as mad at her as she was sure dad was going to be. Mom was a girl so…so maybe she would have gotten it. The way Mob felt….which was good because she wasn't even sure how she felt. She wanted to see Teru and she never wanted to see him again at the same time. She wanted to be near him. She wanted him to hold her. She also didn't want to be in the same city, the same prefecture, the same country as him. He had…when she thought more about it she realized…he had been inside of her. Another person had been inside of her…she had been inside of herself and he had been inside of her…and….now she was inside of herself and he was outside of her…he had kicked her out so she shouldn't have wanted to go back…and it hadn't even felt good. It had just been slimy stabbing, that was all, and she didn't want to do that again and…and did what she wanted even matter? Sho needed her…Fukuda was going to look for him….but Sho didn't need Fukuda Sho needed her and…and she needed her little brother. He didn't have anyone else. Not dad and not mom either.
Neither of them had mom…and even if she had been there it wasn't like she would have been any help anyway because she was sick all the time.
"Then get changed. Put your dress in the shopping bag and throw your underwear out." Said Minegishi
"But…that's wasteful…and I like these." Said Mob
"Do you really want to carry those around with you? I've been in your position before, you know, and I speak from experience when I say that the best thing to do is just to throw them away and put on a new pair." Said Minegishi
"This…this happened to you, too?" asked Mob. Minegishi had done this before? Well of course they had, they were Minegishi. They had Shimazaki and they loved him…and also they did this with other people, too. They were nice and pretty, of course people wanted to do this with them…but Mob couldn't imagine Minegishi ever feeling the way she felt right now. All slimy and dirty and gross. She imagined them…well she didn't want to imagine them like this but…but she imagined them just getting up and being dressed and then…and then knowing what to do.
"The walk of…the stride of pride? Yeah, I've been there before." Said Minegishi
"What's a stride of pride?" asked Mob
"When you have to go home after doing what I assume you got up to with….I'm getting Teru?" asked Minegishi. The lights above them flickered. A woman who had been walking into the bathroom immediately turned on her heels and left. Minegishi walked over and locked the door. The world did not need to eavesdrop on this.
"Are…are you mad at me?" asked Mob as she pulled her leggings on. They were loose…which was good, since she didn't have the middle digging in between her legs, but felt weird since leggings were supposed to be tight. She wished she'd brought another dress with her. Leggings weren't as bad as pants…but they weren't pants….and you weren't supposed to wear leggings as pants. Minori had said so…
What would Minori say when Mob told her?
Mob…she had to tell Minori. Minori always told her when she did things with guys. Mob…she finally had a story to tell…but she didn't want anyone to know! But people already did know….and this was what you did, you talked about the stuff you did with your friends. Like now. She had to tell Minegishi about this…they'd figured a lot out on their own…which meant that a lot of people would be able to figure it out on their own….
As long as dad didn't figure it out then everything was going to be fine.
"No. I'm not. I can't be." Said Minegishi
"You…you can. You can feel however you want to feel." Said Mob. She wasn't the boss of Minegishi's feelings. She wasn't the boss of Minegishi at all. Well she was he vice president of Claw but that didn't mean that she got to boss her best friend, or any of her friends, around.
"Not about this." said Minegishi
"Yes you can. I'm not the boss of your feelings." Said Mob
"Mob, it's not about being bossy. It's about shaming you for…for making my mist-for doing the things that I did at your age. Your body is your own and your life is your own. I don't get…I don't get to make these choices for you." Said Minegishi. They weren't ever having kids. This was…they had no idea what they were supposed to do here. They weren't going to shame her, they weren't going to slap her across the face and call her a whore, but…but they didn't know if they should have encouraged this either.
This wasn't safe.
They knew, they were ninety nine percent sure, that Mob and that kid she had done this with hadn't been anything close to safe. They hadn't taught Mob about that yet….this was bad…and Mob wasn't the most responsible person in the world. She might not have been safe the next time…or the next time…and there would be a next time. She was getting older. She was going to be thirteen soon…and then fourteen….and then fifteen….Minegishi wasn't sure at what point they were supposed to stop worrying. They had been legally emancipated at fifteen. They had been on their own at fifteen…they had been ready….but Mob…they couldn't even imagine her at fifteen. They couldn't even imagine her at thirteen. They had barely wrapped their head around the fact that she was twelve….she was twelve and she was already hell bent on relieving the worst moments of their life…so maybe she would find herself alone in the world at fifteen….
No, not alone. Minegishi wouldn't leave her alone at thirteen or fifteen or thirty or fifty. They were always going to be there for her. They didn't have a choice.
"You…did this when you were my age?" asked Mob
"Yeah, I did…and…just change already. Come on, we have a train to catch." Said Minegishi. They needed more time. They needed a lot more time. They needed to think of what it was that they could even say to her. A safe sex talk, obviously, but that would have to wait until they got home…birth control? Minegishi hadn't done well on the pill but that was their body, Mob was different. Not that they knew how they'd regularly get their hands on birth control pills…and an IUD was out of the question. Mob didn't have the pain tolerance to stand getting a piece of copper shoved through her cervix…but she probably didn't have the pain tolerance for an abortion either. Some light cramping and spotting their ass…fucking doctors…and fucking Mob for making them worry about…
They needed a drink.
They dug through their messenger bag. They knew that they had a flask in here. They dug deep. Past their traveling books, past their mint tin of Xanax they were purposely avoiding, past their travel brush, until they felt something metal. They pulled out their flask and shook it. There was something in their flask…this was going to be nasty. They had no idea when the last time they'd drank from this…or filled it. If they had even filled it. There was glue on the front, there had been a label on this…this had been Ryou's.
So maybe vodka, maybe blue curacao, or maybe this left over from the time he'd been trying to invent new cocktails.
"Oh God." Shuddered Minegishi after they took a drink. Coconut rum. The worst of all rums. Ryou had something wrong with his sense of taste, too, or maybe he was just insane. That would have made sense. It would have made a hell of a lot more sense than anything that had happened to them today.
"I changed, don't worry." Said Mob
"No, not you. That was…something else…and hang on." Said Minegishi as they went back into their messenger bag. This took the same amount of digging. They dug some more…how could they not have…well they couldn't remember the last time they'd even worn a pad…damn it.
"Mob, do you have a hundred yen?" asked Minegishi
"Here, why?" asked Mob as she took a coin out of her Elsa's bag and held it out over the top of the stall. Minegishi took it from her hand and said nothing. She heard them walking, this was a really echoy bathroom. She was glad nobody else was around, she didn't know what she would have done if she'd had to change around some other girl…if some other girl or lady knew that she had been changing or…or if she knew what happened to Mob earlier…
This was like getting her period but worse.
At least that was something that happened to just about everyone, Minegishi had said, everyone with girl parts. This was…something else. Not everyone did this. This was…a thing that happened…no. This was a thing that you did. This was a thing that you did with another person and…and this was just…she didn't know. She didn't what this was but she knew that this was something that not everyone knew about. She didn't know why she felt like…like…like she was naked. She was dressed now but she still felt naked…just as naked as she'd felt when she'd actually been naked….
Or why Minegishi was handing her a napkin.
"Thank you…but…but I don't need this." said Mob
"Trust me, you do, now take the pad." Said Minegishi
"I don't have my period right now." Said Mob. She took the napkin, of course. She liked that word better. If someone heard her think the word pad then…well that would have been embarrassing…but napkin was better…not that anyone was reading her mind…that she knew of….
"Just wear it anyway. I'm guessing that you and that boy didn't…use…anything, am I right?" asked Minegishi
"Use something?" asked Mob
"When you slept with him. I'm guessing that neither of you thought to use a condom." Said Minegishi
"What's a condom?" asked Mob. Minegishi started walking back and forth. She watched their feet. Their boots squeaked against the tile. She hoped that they didn't slip. She hoped that they weren't mad. She hoped that whatever was wrong…it had nothing to do with her. Their feet went back and forth one more time before they stopped in front of the stall. Their feet were facing her feet now.
"A condom…is a thing that will keep you from...do you remember when I told you how pregnancy worked?" asked Minegishi. The taps all went on…and then broke. Whatever. It could have been worse and it wasn't like they were the one who paid for the water around here. Mob was freaking out and…and maybe they should have chosen their words more carefully…they had been choosing their words carefully! If they hadn't been handling this whole thing with kid gloves they would have kicked the door open, took Mob by her shoulders, and shook some sense into her. She knew where babies came from. She knew for a fact that if she had sex she could get pregnant….she knew…she knew that….Minegishi had been the one who told her and…
They took another drink.
"P-Pregnancy!?" asked Mob. She hugged her stomach. She hadn't even thought about….she had been too busy thinking about how Teru and her had just done that…how Teru had just…how she had…Teru had been inside of her and she had been inside of her…and now a person could have been growing inside of her right now?!
Her stomach felt normal.
It was still squishy. She didn't feel anything kicking inside of her. She knew that babies kicked while they were inside of their moms…mom. She was…she was going to be someone's mom…maybe. She could have…she could have had a baby. A baby…like Mukai had been a baby. That had been hard…tiring…she had been busy all the time. Mukai had been crying all the time and…and she had just…she hadn't been able to keep food down and…and…
And she had been so cute.
Mob still had her little baby sock. She'd had such little feet and little hands…her face had been so little…her cries hadn't been little but…but it hadn't been her fault. She'd been just a little baby and little babies cried. That was just how it worked. Babies cried because they needed something from their sisters…or their moms….being a mom was kind of like being a sister and being a sister was kind of like being a mom. She took care of her family…she'd been able to take care of Mukai…all of her friends had helped…and Sho…
Sho loved babies.
Sho had taken such good care of Mukai and he'd been only nine then. He was twelve now and he was good at taking care of his hamster and…and maybe a baby would have been…something that he wanted. Someone. He had always wanted a little brother, he had used to ask mom for one, and mom was gone…but maybe Sho would have liked a little nephew…or niece. Mob had always wanted a little sister…and she had one…and she wanted a daughter, too. She could have braided her hair and played dolls with her and taught her all the stuff that mom never taught her and…and…and it wouldn't be so bad…
But dad would have been mad at her.
She wasn't allowed to have a boyfriend. Dad had never told her to her face that she wasn't allowed to have a boyfriend but she knew him. He wouldn't have liked it but…but Teru wasn't her boyfriend. Teru had kicked her out of his apartment. Teru didn't…he didn't like her…not the way that she liked him…if she even still liked him after that. She didn't know…she didn't know how she felt and…and it hurt but…but also it was just like…their baby wasn't going to have a dad. He didn't like her like she liked him. He didn't want to join Claw. Their daughter was going to grow up without a dad…but she had a dad. She had her dad and she had a brother and she had her friends and a little sister, too, and Mukai would be older by the time the baby was born. She would be old enough to help out and….and her baby didn't need a dad…
She didn't have a mom and she had turned out ok.
"Yes, Mob, you could be-it's…I'm making an effort not to be angry with you, alright? You can do whatever you want with whoever you want. That's…that's fine. You're going to do what you're going to do and…and there's nothing that I can do stop you….so just put the damn pad on before you end up ruining your clothes again. There's more of it, by the way, and it's going to feel like you're leaking for a while." Said Minegishi. If they hadn't been in a filthy public bathroom then they would have laid down on the floor and screamed…or cried…
They didn't know whether to scream or to cry.
Mob might have been pregnant. They let Mob out of her sight for ten seconds and now she was pregnant….might have been. They should have planned for this…she was not their kid but…but they were the closest thing that she had to a parent. She didn't know what she had done…what she was playing with. Sex was fun, Minegishi certainly didn't do it to repopulate the glorious homeland or whatever, but it was also a lot of responsibility…and Mob could barely handle the responsibility that she had! She didn't need to worry about her health or her heart or…or another human being…
Mob could have been pregnant. To quote the former baby of the Suzuki family, over there.
"Ok." Said Mob. She did what she was told. Minegishi…they were mad at her? Mob had to do that sometimes, try not to be mad at someone, and when she tried not to be mad at someone then she was already REALLY mad at someone. Minegishi was mad at her…but….but how could this have been a bad thing? Shoko came from this…and sure it had been gross and slimy but Shoko or…or maybe…
She didn't know if Shoko was a good name.
She had to pick the right name. The wrong name would probably ruin her daughter's life. Mom and dad had explained naming to her when she had been a little kid. Parents named their kids for the things that they wanted for them. Mob's name was Shigeko, it meant nurturing child. That was what mom and dad had wanted her to be. Sho's name meant leader. That was what dad had wanted him to be. Mukai's name meant…she didn't really know. Her name was spelled with the kanji for defy or confront…she did defy and confront people a lot. Dad had named her…was that what he wanted for her? But he had given her up….to Mob to raise…
And Mob had done a good job.
She hadn't named Mukai but she had done a good job of taking care of her…and she would take good care of Shoko. She didn't know how she would spell it, what kanji she would pick out, what she would be like…but Mob would take good care of her. She'd need it. She'd be so tiny and she'd cry all the time but…but that was what babies did and…and she could handle it. She didn't need sleep…babies didn't sleep at night…and babies didn't know that diaper changes were gross….but lots of things were gross in the world. She wouldn't have ever thought that Shoko was gross…
Even if she wound up throwing up as much as Mukai had done when she'd been a baby.
That was something she would have to worry about…she would have a lot to worry about…there was so much….babies were so small and helpless. What if she choked on something? What if she rolled off the bed and died, Mukai used to like trying to roll. What if she got kidnapped, that was a thing that happened. What if someone tried to hurt Shoko in order to hurt her….or dad? But…but dad wouldn't have let anything happen to her. He liked girls better than boys and his dream was to take care of her kids. That was what he had been talking about for years. She loved dad and…and she knew that dad would have loved Shoko.
Especially since Shoko would probably be an esper.
Shoko had two esper parents and that meant that she would be an esper. She would be an esper and everyone would help her control her powers…but if she didn't have powers then Mob knew that she would still love her daughter. She could…she could do this….she had done this before…she had always been tired. She had ben tired when she got up, went to work, and went to bed because of Mukai….and the crying hadn't ever stopped….but she had been ten back then. She was twelve now, and she would be thirteen when Shoko was born….that was old enough to have a baby…right? She didn't think so…but maybe that was because other girls her age had to go to school and stuff. She didn't have to go to school so she'd have plenty of time for Shoko…
And she knew that all of her friends would help, even Minegishi.
"I'm all done." Said Mob as she opened the stall door. All the water was on…that was her fault. She'd have to send money later to fix it…and all the stuff she broke at the train store. She'd have a lot to pay for…babies were expensive, right? She had always heard that. They needed a lot of things…but she had a lot of money….so that was ok. She knew what she was doing. She was ok.
"Good, now come on. The next train to Tokyo is coming soon and I think we both need to decompress." Said Minegishi. They needed to curl up with a book, any book. They just needed to walk away for a minute, or an hour, or however many hours that it would take to get to Tokyo. The route was so long and meandering….Mob would want to talk…but they couldn't.
Not now.
They didn't trust themselves. They had no idea what in the hell they were even going to say. They wanted to tell her that she needed to think for once in her life, that she couldn't do things like this, that she didn't need this kind of stress in her life. She didn't need to worry about sex, about all the responsibility that came with it. Condoms and pills…or whatever birth control she wanted to take…whatever she could even take. If she was pregnant, if Minegishi had lost their morning after pill and they couldn't get their hands on another one, then….well then they'd have to hold Mob's hand through an abortion…and then there was the aftercare….and while they were at the clinic Mob would have to get tested…and then again in three months…
They could deal with this. They had no choice.
"But…what about Sho?" asked Mob. She needed to go and save him or…well she didn't know if he was in any danger…but she still had to get back to him. She had to get him home. She had to make him feel better…he must have been so upset. She had to…she had a lot of sister stuff to do. If she couldn't do this sister stuff then how was she supposed to be someone's mom? If she couldn't even take care of Sho then how was she supposed to take care of Shoko? She was going to be so bad at it….she didn't want to be pregnant! But also…also maybe she would…maybe she would do good….maybe she would be a better mom than a big sister…maybe she…but it hurt when you had a baby, didn't it? On TV moms were always screaming…and they had to cut you open to get the baby out…or maybe that was just because of something Sho did.
Mom had never said why they had to cut Sho out of her.
She had a big scar on her stomach from where Sho had come from. Just Sho…so that meant that most babies came out the normal way. Was it just boy babies that they had to cut out of you? She didn't know. Mom hadn't said a single thing about that….or what it was like to be pregnant….or what sex was like. She didn't want to know what it was like when her parents did things like that but it would have been nice if mom had said something about how…how she was supposed to feel. If it was normal to feel like someone had poked her right in the heart…
Poked her heart right out through her chest.
"Fukuda is dealing with him. You and I need to get home. We have…we have a lot to talk about." Said Minegishi. They were going to come up with something to say on the train ride home. They weren't going to bring this up on the train, any of this, not unless they felt like causing a derailment. Mob couldn't handle talking about all of this….Minegishi wanted to take her and ask why, exactly, she had thought that having sex would have been a good idea if she couldn't even talk about it and-
-and this barely contained rage was exactly why they weren't going to talk about this until they were home.
"We can talk about things on the train to the castle. It's a long way to Sendai and-" said Mob
"No. Fukuda is handling it. Right now, for once in your life, you need to think about yourself. You need….Mob…there's a pill you have to take, ok? When we get home." Said Minegishi
"But you said never to mess with pills. Shimazaki said so too and if Shimazaki says not to mess with something-" said Mob
"Not that kind of pill, Mob. Listen, there are a lot of things that I have to teach you. There are a lot of things that….that I should have already explained to you….I just thought that I had more time and…just…don't fight with me on this. I am trying really hard not to get angry with you…or myself…right now so just please do what I say and don't argue with me. Ok? Just….don't argue. Not today." Said Minegishi
"I…ok, Minegishi, I won't argue with you." Said Mob. She didn't know what they would have fought about. Minegishi knew what she'd done. She wasn't going to lie to them and tell them that she hadn't done anything. She would never have lied to her best friend…so she was going to do what she was told…and then afterwards she would go and get Sho. Even if it was midnight or dawn or…or any time. If Fukuda didn't bring Sho home then she would. He needed her….and she needed him.
But also she needed to go home…even if she didn't really want to.