A/N: There was a slight problem with the format, but it should be fixed now. Sorry for the inconvenience!

032 - My Boss Dude can't be this petty!

"Let's go over it one last time." Boss Dude promises, but it's kind of lost its shine, that with it being the seventh time he says these words today. "Kasamitsu took a kunai for you, but somehow managed to power through a pierced heart for long enough to take his would-be killer with him."

"Eh, he was already pretty messed up." I wave my hand in front of my face. I know I'm being nonchalant, but I returned to the village without making stops, came to report straight from the field, I've told this tale ten times already, it's been hours and I'd really like to get back home and sleep for a week. "Jumping at me looked like a desperate gambit."

"One that paid off for them."

"They're all dead, along with all of my team, Boss." I protest tiredly. It's not hard to do, since I actually regret their deaths. Such a pointless waste… "I'd say nobody won."

"I'll have to go through the details with my advisors later." He grumbles, and it's the closest to hinting this meeting will end at some point he's gotten yet. He takes a different paper from his desk, eyeing it as he shifts topics. "And while Masanobu managed to avoid a heart injury, he also got a whole fist into his chest cavity soon afterwards, a fist that then Exploded."

"It was a big surprise, and kinda gross. I think I still have pieces of lung in my hair." Speaking of that… "On that topic, I'd appreciate the chance of a shower at some point this year, Boss."

"And yet you managed to kill them all." He presses on without acknowledging my very sensible… Nay, I'd even say 'sanitary' request.

"There wasn't all that much left over by that point." Pun intended. I was just reminded I'm gross on top of tired, sue me. "Bleeding Heart and Cool Guy did a good job before going down, I think I only survived because I was the lesser threat. And, not to polish my own horn or anything." I quickly add, intending to do exactly that. This is supposed to be a promotion review, after all. "But I am damn good in a fight."

"Yes, yes, you've given us the play-by-play already. Look, Shimada. I'll be candid with you here." I bite my tongue not to snark how that would be a first. "We wanted a clean mission for your promotion, so we investigated the field before sending you. There was no one from the Explosion Corp in their group. Their fucking exploding nin are big news, since they can take down whole villages if let unchecked, so everyone pays a close eye to them. They don't just 'appear' somewhere without half the world knowing. See now why I'm having trouble believing that part of the story?"

"Well, that's a good point..." Bullshit. If those imaginary investigators could get close enough to tell that for sure, why the hell would they send us? They could've done the mission already and saved time and resources. Not that I can call him on it. "As a counterargument, I'm going to say 'Deidara'."

"There's a slight difference between an S-rank missing-nin with support from an organization of even more dangerous monsters and a lone Explosion Corps operative you could take on by yourselves."

"My point is that Iwa can lose a S-rank threat like him. One that's known to be unstable and have destructive tendencies. One they raised themselves and they sure as hell they have a way or seven to fight against. One who goes into withdrawal unless he does something stupidly flashy at least once per month. One who has zero stealth training, by the way…" I raise a finger, a light heat on my cheeks as I realize I'm rambling. "Not the point. What I'm trying to get at is that claiming to know something for sure in this world is suicidally pretentious. Heck, I don't even know if she was really Explosion Corps or just someone with a messy taijutsu secret move."

"Well, if nothing else you've kept your story straight through some of our best non-invasive interrogation methods. Besides the disturbing fact your own participation wasn't nearly as over-the-top as I've come to expect, I got nothing to pin on you." Of course, I am— Wait, what? "So there won't be any official follow up from this incident. Regarding the possibility of a field promotion…"

I hold my breath. This is it, the moment of truth when history gets made or unmade! Will I get my well-deserved rank up? Or will I be sentenced to a very short future ending with a faceless corpse?

"Congratulations on your promotion." I hold back the urge to raise my arms and whoop, but it's a close thing. Fuck yeah! Things are still on track! All according to plan! Take that, Murphy, I survived your Madoka-damned trip-wiring ninjas of sabotaging doom! Who's laughing now? I am! Because I'm not going to die horribly! "There's a hang on. You'll be taking a month of enforced suspension to deal with the trauma. Then it'll be solo missions until we can find a team you can fit in."

"Are you sure Boss? I can still work!" A month free of obligations followed by official leave to do missions my way… It's like it's christmas and my birthday all rolled into one. Which is starting to make me feel uncomfortable. Nothing I know about Kusa indicates medical leaves for mental reasons are a thing. Karin sure didn't get suspended for her own traumas.

"Don't celebrate so soon, Shimada." Aaaaaand here comes the other shoe. "We can't afford our shinobi to get paid for doing nothing. This is coming out of your vacation days."

"What? But I had already filed for those! It was already approved!"

"And now the approval is revoked." He shrugs. "You take your vacation now, then it is a full year of work."

"That is workforce exploitation!"

"And this is a military dictatorship, your point?"

"Can't I just give up my payment for this month?"

"No."

"But I—"

"You have your orders, Shimada. Now get out of here before I involve the Kusa-anbu!"

At that I have to leave. What else can I do? Boss Dude was clearly serious, he never involves the Kusa-anbu. Once I'm outside his office I can't help but let out an inarticulate sound of frustration.

He did it on purpose! It's not like I was trying to hide why I asked for my vacation time when I did, and he just went and overruled me just to be petty. Because he couldn't find proof I killed my team! I can't believe he was interrogating me! Can't one get away with a bit of accidentally highly treasonous manslaughter scot free anymore? What's the world coming to?

Stupid Shinobi World...

As soon as I leave the building, Karin tackle-hugs me. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm always ready for Karin's tackle-hugs, but she still manages to topple me over. I blink in confusion. This is certainly a welcome surprise, but I don't get why she would lie in ambush for hours on end until I'm done with my repor— interrogation. So why is she hugging me for dear life and trying to bury her face in my honestly lackluster bosom?

"I heard about your team." She murmurs from your chest. Oh, that would explain it. "I'm sorry."

"Eh, don't worry. I didn't know them for long and—" Wait, could this lead to a reversal of last time? "On second thought I feel terrible and might need some therapeutic cuddling."

She freezes for a moment, then all her worry dissolves into relieved giggles. "Only you, Ran." She finally says after running out of air to keep giggling. Good, this is way better than a crying Karin.

We get up and walk back home, with me being bombarded by questions all along the way. It briefly crosses my mind to find some place to eat, but truth is I'd kill for a shower about now. Yeah, I'm hungry and all, and it's always nice to spend time with Karin, but there's days old gore in my hair. Gross and unsanitary.

So we just walk home at a sedated pace. Once we arrive, there's another surprise waiting. Or rather, it's Mother who is waiting for us. Sitting at the kitchen cable, tea already serv— Huh, there's only two mugs?

"Ran, we need to talk." I don't like how that sounds. "Karin..."

"I'llbeinthebedroomgoodnightbye!" Traitor...

I sit in front of Mother and take a sip of blazing hot tea. Unlike usual, there isn't a long uncomfortable silence.

"What happened during the mission?"

The break in the pattern makes me hesitate long enough to consider lying but, in the end, I decide against it. I mean, it doesn't really serve any purpose, it's doubtful I'd get away with it and I don't really want to, so…

I tell her everything. From the slightest little detail on our way there, Bleeding Heart's casual disdain and Cool Guy's jokes, to the serious things like the trap that almost took my foot, my realization about their true purpose, my accidentally putting a kunai through Bleeding Heart's chest… or how I infiltrated a camp of missing-nin with still-drying gore in my hair to kill them all. That was kind of stupid now that I think about it, the smell could've easily given me away.

I only keep to myself the contents of my rant during my breakdown. I doubt she missed it, but she doesn't' press on it either. Instead, she remains quiet all along my tale. And for a long while afterwards.

Oh, here you are, uncomfortable silence! I didn't miss you at all! I take another sip of tea.

"I hope you have a long term plan, Ran." She finally comments. "Because things can't remain like this."

"I… don't know what you mean?" And I don't, I hope. I mean, there's this vague suspicion in the back of my mind, but it's both impossible and carries terrifying implications, so I'll ignore it.

"After Makise died you suddenly decided to dive head-first into training and become the best kunoichi you can be. Where you used to grumble and drag your feet, you began working without pause. Where you once treated the future as something abstract that would never catch up to you, suddenly you became hyper focused. You don't pause, you don't rest." I feel my vision swim and something cold and heavy at my stomach. Because one thing is knowing something you're not happy about, and a different thing to have it ruthlessly said out loud. "I might be proud of what you've achieved, but I'm not blind to the obvious. You didn't choose this."

"It's… It's my problem, Mother." And my stupid pride still gets in the way. "I can deal with it."

"You might've weathered the situation so far, but you haven't 'dealt with it'." She chides, not unkindly. Which is really weirding me out, by the way. "So far I've let things play out, waiting for whatever your plan to solve the situation to bear fruit, but you're running out of time."

That startles me out of my self-pity. There's no way she can be referring to—

"You are frazzling, Ran. The pressure is getting to you."

Okay, that's not what I was afraid of. But what does she mean 'frazzling'?

"Little mistakes born from mental exhaustion are slowly growing worse. A trap you should've caught on sooner, a hint you failed to chase, a threat you assessed wrongly… Those are indicators of a problem that'll end killing you, if you let it fester long enough."

… Oh.

She puts her mug down, entwining her fingers under her chin in a pose reminiscing of Hokage Tsunade, or Ikari Gendo. "So I need to know, is there an endgame beyond maintaining this status quo?"

Left unsaid is the fact she'll take matters in her own hands if it isn't. This is… an unexpected hurdle. Should I insist on keeping my cards close to my chest? Having pride is one thing, but letting Mother worry to the point of distress is something very different.

Then again, by the time this is over, I'll have done way worse.

The silence stretches as I try to piece an answer together.

"I…. I honestly hadn't noticed, but it shouldn't be a problem for long." I finally say. I can't afford the risk of Mother acting before I'm ready. "I have a plan. I can't tell you the details, but give me ten… No, five months should be more than enough." Can she figure out what I'm planning just from that? Maybe, but I'll take the risk over having her lose sleep because of m—

I mean, I can't risk ruining years of planning just because Mother jumped the gun! Yeah! That's what I meant!

"You still owe me, Ran." I freeze. Out of all the times for Mother to mention the topic, this might very well be the most inopportune. "I've not forgotten, and I doubt you have either."

"Of course, Mother." How could I forget? I would've lost Karin three times over without her help, not to mention I would've probably gone out in a blaze of glory trying to either save or avenge her. Which doesn't magically make this timing not to utterly suck for discussing the topic. "Did you have something in mind?"

"As a matter of fact, I have: Live." What? "I don't care about what other plans of goals you set for yourself. I want to know you won't throw your life away for them." The swimming vision and cold stomach comes back, this time accompanied by intense facial heat. Maybe I'm coming down with something? "Live a long, prosperous life. As your Mother, that's all I want from you."

Damnit Mother! "I… " And my stupid throat has to get a knot precisely now! "I promise I will." There's hoping she believes me.

There's another long pause, where Mother's eyes study me with an intensity that would put the sun to shame. Her glare is always piercing, but now I feel like she's examining my very soul, and judging the worth of my words. Finally, she nods and stands up, taking the empty mugs with her.

"See that you do."

I can only nod, and stand up to (flee) retire to my room while she cleans up the table.

"And Ran?" She stops me when I'm at the door. "I'll need to have words with our fearless leader. You might find it somehow affects your vacation times."

What have I done to deserve such a great Mother?

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