Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Maybe you guys will recognize Bella's letter?

EPOV

It had been days without Bella waking up, I had read through her journal countless times, reading them, over-analyzing each of her poetic words, just trying to feel Bella's presence through them, pretending that she was reading them to me, instead of lying there comatose.

I cursed myself for wasting our time all those months ago, when I left to Alaska or when I stopped speaking to her, it was the blackest of blasphemy, especially when I told her I wasn't sure why I'd saved her all those months ago. Even though I'd told her why I'd saved her that day in the meadow, those words should have never left my mouth. She should never have once doubted how much I loved her. How I would give anything for more time. One more opportunity to tell her how much I love her, to hear her laugh, to watch the little 'v' form in between her eyebrows, I'd give anything to have her back.

It was grueling that she hadn't awoken yet. At for the first few days she stirred a few times a day, but it was always quick, almost too slight to notice, now she was almost completely still.

Charlie had been coming and going everyday, but I never left Bella's side. Alice and Carlisle both brought in food occasionally just for appearances. I couldn't bring myself to care if people were getting suspicious. Emmett, Esme, and Jasper all routinely checked on Bella. Jasper didn't stay for very long because of his control issues, but he still constantly checked on Bella. Renee was content that I wasn't leaving Bella's side, but I couldn't deny the slight annoyance that she hadn't made the trip over here to see Bella.

The first day we were in this dreadful hospital, the fever caused two seizures. It felt like my heart had been torn out watching that. Emmett and Jasper were with me when it happened. Their hearts broke for their sister. I didn't care that they were here when I violently sobbed at Bella's seizing body. Emmett just gripped my shoulder to comfort me. The both of them were here regularly after that, both to keep me company and to keep an eye on Bella.

After being in here a couple days, she had developed pneumonia. She had to be intubated, it was agonizing watching them shove a tube down her throat. I choked back another sob watching the tube go down. I had cried more in the last week than I had in the last century. Carlisle insisted it was necessary, that her lungs needed to rest, so she could breathe on her own. I tried not to think about the statistics of Bella coming back from this.

Charlie silently shed tears once he heard she had pneumonia. His thoughts were rampant with the memory of the last time Bella had an infection back in Phoenix, the one that almost took her life.

Everyone in my family had come to see Bella, even Rosalie. After the wedding, Rosalie's vitriol towards Bella eased slightly. Now seeing how distraught I was at losing Bella, Rose understood a fraction of what Bella meant to me. It annoyed her slightly that Emmett was spending a lot of his time here, but she never voiced it, which was an improvement for Rosalie. I didn't have enough focus to worry about Rosalie or anything else but Bella.

Right now, I was alone.

I talked to Bella with the unfounded hope that she could hear me. We had a few scares over the last few days, but Carlisle tried to remain optimistic. The antibiotics had not worked, but he was trying to be positive that we could see a change any day now.

Charlie had been updating Renee with daily updates on Bella's status. Even though Charlie kept Renee updated but I could see his frustration that she wasn't more concerned. I knew from her thoughts at our wedding that she was an unrealistic optimist. Carlisle, too, was an optimist as well but he never let that blind him from reality the way Renee did. And while Carlisle would never say, I could hear from his thoughts that he was slightly annoyed with Renee too. Even though Bella wasn't biologically his, Bella was, for all intent and purposes, his daughter, and he couldn't understand why Renee hadn't made every attempt to come down here. From what she had heard, this could have been it for Bella. Didn't she want a chance to see her one last time? I stopped that train of thought, I couldn't bear to think of Bella being gone.

I was just watching her, studying her features. Her cheekbones were more pronounced, she had bags under her eyes, her skin has become more translucent. I could see the blue tint of her veins more clearly than ever before.

Her ring was now too big on her finger, it had fit perfectly when I had proposed. The wedding band underneath was too big as well. I carefully watched each inhale and exhale.

It was much too upsetting to watch Bella being unable to breath on her own anymore, to watch the life being sucked out of her. Bella had hit the nail on the head when she warned that me it was incredibly difficult to watch the one you love slowly die. There were no words that could describe the torment and desolation I felt watching Bella like this.

I picked up her journal. I was reading her journal again when I noticed the last two pages had been written on. It was odd, considering Bella didn't skip pages.

I flipped to the penultimate page. I remembered her saying that sometimes she only came up with a line, and then it would develop into something more later. I had never questioned where she kept those lines, but I suppose I had just found it.

Have I known you twenty seconds or twenty years?

I immediately recognized this one, it wasn't a random line anymore. She had turned it into Lover, possibly my favorite of her songs. I continued reading down the page.

'Forever is the sweetest con.'

'But you'll find the real thing instead

She'll patch up your tapestry that I shred.'

'Be my once in a lifetime.'

'Eyes full of stars'

Would I ever get to see what Bella had intended these words for? Would I ever get to see her get lost in her own words? Each question felt like a punch to the gut. I wondered what the last page would hold, would it be as wrenching as the pervious page?

I hesitantly opened to the last page. It was addressed to me.

Hi, Edward

Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, you were the great star-crossed love of my life. Ours was an epic love story, and I won't be able to get more than a sentence into it without disappearing into a puddle of tears. You know.

I can't talk about our love story, so I will talk about math. I am not a mathematician, but I know this. There is an infinite between 0 and 1. There's .1 and .12 and .112 and an infinite collection of others. Of course there is a bigger infinite set of numbers between 0 and 2, or between 0 and a million. Some infinities are bigger than other infinities. A writer taught me that.

There are days, many days of them, when I resent the size of my unbounded set. I want more numbers than I'm likely to get, and God, I want more numbers with you than we're likely to get. But, Edward, my love, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. I wouldn't trade it for the world. You have me a forever within the numbered days, and for that I'll be eternally grateful.

Yours always, Bella

I could feel my heart splintering into pieces, I felt myself go cold. I wasn't sure when she had written this, but the pain in my chest was becoming unbearable. Suddenly her words were appearing in my head over and over:

'Someday when I leave you

I bet these memories

Follow you around'

'My last request it is

Say you'll remember me'

'You told me you loved me,

So why would I go away?'

'How you'd kiss me when I was in the middle of saying something,

There's not a day I won't miss those rude interruptions.'

'Hope it's nice where you are

And I hope the sun shines and it's a beautiful day

And something reminds you, you wish I had stayed'

"You can plan for a change in the weather and time

But never plan on me changing my mind'

"Tried to change the ending,

Peter losing Wendy'

'But it would've been fun

If I would've been the one'

'That you'll stand by me forever

But if God forbid fate should step in

And force you into a good life

When they point to the pictures

Please tell them my name'

'I know they said the end is near'

'The part of me that's you will never die'

'You reached for me

But I was gone

You knew I had to go back home'

'I'd live and die for moments that we stole

On begged and borrowed time'

It all became abundantly clear.

She was trying to say goodbye to me.

It felt like I couldn't breath when the realization clobbered me. I was pretty sure that vampires couldn't actually have a panic attack, but that's what it felt like. I tried to breathe but I was choking on my fear.

I couldn't be sure when exactly she had written these words, but it did nothing to slow the tumultuous emotions I was feeling: anger, sadness, grief, stress, an ache so intense I couldn't focus on it for very long. I kept circling back to anger. I found myself spiraling in the unknown.

Had Bella and I had our last kiss?

Would I ever see her beautiful chocolate eyes again?

Would I ever hear her laugh?

Would I ever see the look of love and wonder she reserved for me?

How could I live without her?

How would I ever be okay having known and loved Bella and having ripped away from me?

Was Bella's time up?

I couldn't help but fixate on that final question. Was Bella's time up?

I looked at Bella with a tube down her throat. She was breathing evenly next to me, but she was so still. She hadn't stirred or twitched in days. Watching her inhale and exhale didn't help to ease my anger.

How could she just say goodbye to me? How could this be it?

"No, this isn't it. Not for us. It can't be. I refuse to accept this outcome," my voice was raised in anger. I took an uneven deep breath.

"Damn it, Bella. You promised. Come back to me, please," I angrily sobbed. My voice was one I barely recognized, it sounded broken, hopeless, but the anger was unmistakable. I was gently squeezing her hand trying to foolishly will her awake, to will the medications to miraculously work.

I rested my head on our joined hands. It was then she groaned. At first, I wasn't sure if I had imagined it, that in my desperation, I had become delusional. Then a few minutes later, she did it again. Her heart rate started to steadily rise.

"Carlisle," I called, hoping that he was in my hearing vicinity. "Carlisle, I think she's waking up." I didn't hide the urgency in my voice.

He was through the door within the minute.

"What happened?" He looked at me frantically. It took quite about to make Carlisle break from his calm and collected composure, but he now saw Bella as another daughter. Even in his optimism, he had very real concerns regarding Bella. Watching her have a seizure, watching her unresponsive, it broke his heart.

"Nothing, I was talking to her and-" I was cut off by another slight groan. "She started doing that. Her heart rate is up too," I pointed out. He started checking her vitals again.

"Carlisle, she's going to wake and fight intubation, take it out," I demanded urgently.

I could see the concern at taking it out, but for the first time in over a week, I felt hope.

'If I take it out I may not be able to re-intubate, Edward.'

I nodded urgently and without hesitation, and he carefully removed the tube.

It took a few minutes, and it was another agonizing wait to see if she would wake. I started to doubt my judgement, but then I saw Bella's eyelids twitch. Carlisle and I both held our breath as we hovered over her, watching her intently.

And then her beautiful brown eyes slowly flickered open.