Bella
Chapter 32 - Year 2005 – 4th Seventh of May
Continuation
Five years and she had plenty of moments when she wondered on how she and Minerva would ever tackle every grave complication between them. But she did not ever consider their return to such stage of dire confrontation with the statement, 'I did not sleep with Bellatrix as well'.
"Hermione, it is time we talk of the things we left unsaid."
"I know that there are several matters that we both need to finally speak of. And with your line of questioning the last time we were here… I know that Bellatrix is one of them… Let me completely address that one; before anything else."
There is no mistaking it; Minerva is plowing through the montage of mess between them… Of the deeply emotional chaos they've introduced themselves seven years ago, and one that they had muted for the last five years…
And apparently, Bellatrix Black Lestrange is first in the docket.
"I did not sleep with her." Minerva's brow drew together as she deliberately repeated her earlier declaration. She reached for Hermione's hands; holding them equally unyielding and yet gentle, "Never… I never touched Bellatrix."
Upon hearing Minerva's unequivocal statement about Bellatrix, Hermione knew that her heart's protective shields just fortified themselves. For there is this peculiar tendency in us wherein we'd rather let our minds race to full impetuousness when we find our hearts at the edge of some sort of unraveling. Most often, our self-preservation instinct would send us into overdrive and would strongly latch on anarchism… And as much as Hermione tried to hold back her antagonistic words, they were out before she knew it.
"But there was something between you two. She was special to you…"
Minerva drew in a deep breath in response, and the unseen depth it went was sending Hermione to ponder of how many ways that could go…
To absolute correctness?
To absolute imprecision?
Or perhaps to a distortion of both?
"I cannot say that you are wrong there…" Minerva slowly unlocked, of perhaps a long unspoken story. "Of the thousands of students I've had, I cannot consider Bellatrix Black as just one of them…"
At these words, Hermione's mind was suddenly filled with words from one Draco Malfroy— Once upon a time, a 15-year-old Bellatrix Black, still untainted by darkness… fell in love…Bellatrix was much in love that she was pulling the moon and the stars for the person she fell for…
The unwanted recollection had fueled the spiraling force inside Hermione. Forming this imagined scenario of Minerva and Bellatrix involved in the course that makes her heart constricted. This had her unconsciously yanking her hands from Minerva, but the older woman would not let her.
"Darling, please…" Minerva quietly implored, and clasped Hermione's hands delicately tighter.
The imagery dispersed and Hermione realised her retreating actions. She forced herself to stop… to stop physically pulling away… to stop brewing her emotions into detonation without hearing the story from Minerva…
"You are correct to say that something happened." Minerva softly ran her fingers to the now invisible scar on Hermione's arms, and repeated the motion for three more times. And then failing to hide the rage, the pain, and the utmost guilt that splashed on her beautiful face... "But it is not what you think, Hermione."
Hermione could only guess that Minerva is probably seeing in her mind both the memories of Bellatrix with a bleeding hand as a student from her own shenanigans, and then… of Hermione's arm with a carved mudblood as cruel abuse from Bellatrix…
"I already told you of the story of when I caught Bellatrix with her knife," Minerva visibly winced as she began.
Sometime ago, Hermione already did the math. And more or less arrived that during Bellatrix's bleeding-hand-episode, Minerva was in her late thirties… And no doubt as beautiful as ever… And Hermione could add the recently learned detail that at that time, Minerva had been completely oblivious of her magical ageing… Thus, Bellatrix definitely saw this raw face of Minerva, plus adding the fact that she was literally not even in her 40s.
"She was in her fifth year and it was my fourteenth year of teaching at Hogwarts. I thought, I've already figured out all the relevant schemes to deal with young people between eleven to about eighteen year old… When she showed up early for detention and bearing gifts, of course I knew the juvenile manipulation. And I was so sure I've terminated such foolishness before that detention ended."
Minerva is attempting to provide the backdrop of the story involving Bellatrix, possibly to explain the perspective she had had. But Hermione had long grasped that Minerva probably never surmised at that time how it was cathartic for the fifteen-year-old teenager from the House of Black.
Hermione listened to Minerva's initial description of the general view which educators have when dealing with new and returning students. That while they avoid falling into complete hasty generalization, they are quite on the nose by Hollow's eve on how a student would be spending the rest of school year in terms of whether an actual studying would be happening or not, especially for older students.
"The fifth year students are often the trickiest, even more than those in seventh year, as by and large this is the year when most youngsters are finding the concept of serious dating, dealing with undeniable physical changes, and all the while knowing they would need to take their OWLS, which would set their adult path… What I'm saying is, there are more or less categories that students fall into that help teachers discern the necessary approach in order to aid them in school."
Hermione thought that she must have been an obvious 'swot' from the get-go. And to her surprise, Minerva said the same thing about herself. It rendered Hermione a bit flustered for vocalizing her thoughts unintentionally.
"Albus used to harass me about it when we trained for my mastery. How my nose has always been buried in books when I am not brooding away from people. He had expected me to rebel with both notion and claimed that it was his method to get inside my head, with the goal to make me drop my overthinking self and better tap my magical instincts."
Instead of accepting the geniality brought by Minerva's latest enlightenments, Hermione chose animosity once again. "And now you're about to tell me that Bellatrix fitted our little category," which she regretted as soon as she said it.
It doused the little amusement from Minerva's face and she quieted for few minutes. When she finally responded, her voice returned equally unguarded and reflective.
"No, actually… Bellatrix Black was one of those who would only give the barest minimum… It was quite common for those who have spell work coming naturally in spades because they've been drilled with the preconception of their magical talents such as birthright. She, like most of her kind didn't care much about school marks. At least for the first four years in school…"
Minerva proceeded to tell her that merely a week following that detention, she started noticing that Bellatrix was giving more effort in class. Not too long, other Professors started mentioning the same progress about Bellatrix. Consequently, it landed her with Es and Os in her O.W.L.s.
"By the time she returned for her sixth year, she was displaying quite advanced skills for her age..."
Hermione could not help herself; her mind has suddenly invited Sirius Black's long ago spoken words— 'You know Hermione, they've said that my cousin was quite the brilliant student at Hogwarts.'
When Harry's godfather imparted them with Hermione, she did not know it would be something crucially connected to Minerva. She did not know anything about Bellatrix that time, except that the imprisoned witch was Sirius' cousin and a very loyal follower of Voldemort. She filed away the information without having a clue that many, many years later, she would be receiving the substantiation of Bellatrix's faculties when she was a student, and accounted by Minerva no less.
"When you are a teacher, that's one of the things you hope for… for your students. It gives you a sense of purpose, a sense of feat that you are doing your job properly. When young people become better in every way while they are at Hogwarts— it validates the decision I've made in terms of leaving the Ministry. I know I was faring well during my 5-year stint there, people deemed it daft of me to swap that career for Hogwarts. Oh, well… I never regretted it."
Since Hermione's transfer to MLE, she learned more of the actual heralded Ministry work Minerva had accomplished. She came across many citations of current inter-department resolutions deriving from Minerva's effort.
Technically, Hermione has been surpassing the promotion ladder than any other Ministry officers, present and past, including Minerva's. However, anyone would not negate that Minerva had trail blazed so much more work against anyone's first five years at the Ministry, all considering the tumultuous period when she worked there. Hermione has no doubt that had Minerva stayed on, she'd be the Minister long before Millicent Bagnold took the post.
Hermione's full attention returned to the present when Minerva's one hand left hers to rub her own face in an effort to rid some of the building tension before the older witch resumed into her narrative of her past, one that was tangled with Bellatrix Black.
"As Bellatrix grew into a better witch… in my mind, I was much convinced that I had a direct hand with her remarkable growth. Of her incredible developing skills… I didn't… It never occurred to me that I was missing another piece of the picture… Not until…it was nearing the end of her sixth year, Albus knocked on my quarters one afternoon."
. . . . . . .
"What is the problem, Albus?"
"My dear, what makes you think—"
"I already heard your sigh just before you stepped in."
"Your Animagus hearing is impeccable—"
"And the grim on your face is as if you've lost your bag of sherbet lemon."
"Ahhh… Your observation skill—"
"Albus, Come out of it. I still have half stack of second year's essays, which I pray would be less dismal than the first half I've painstakingly read, because if not, I am inclined to make all of them return next year in the same year... Or perhaps, I've become a wretched teacher you ought to fire?"
Dumbledore chuckled a bit but didn't say anything else. When moments extended without another word from him, Minerva paused in her marking and raised a questioning eyebrow. Only then he was obligated to get on with his purpose.
"I was passing one hallway when I heard students talking…"
"And?" Minerva asked, after the great wizard seemed unlikely to resume.
"The business they were conversing was something of delicacy…" He responded with vagueness while absentmindedly summoning one parchment from Minerva's desk with wandless and wordless magic.
"Must we play the prompt game?" Minerva's answer came laconic after Albus deferred to respond for the third time. "Didn't I just mention that I have essays to mark?"
"I apologise, Minerva. I am constructing the proper manner to tell you."
Minerva's forehead furrowed, and her hand stopped writing. After a second, she placed her quill into its stand and set aside the parchment she was perusing.
"All right, Albus. I am sorry. But please, leave the obfuscation and just tell me."
Albus sighed and commenced to let out the very topic that brought him to Minerva's office.
"The Blacks Missus were chatting of their future plans… Bellatrix Black was telling her sisters that after she finishes Hogwarts, she has every intention to ask—" Albus gestured towards Minerva before he reservedly finished, "to ask YOU to marry her…"
"Hah." Minerva short snickers came out upon hearing Albus' narration. She resumed in her marking of the essays; a move that seemingly dismissed the topic for she did not think there was something for her to say about an irrelevant chitchat from students.
"Well?" Albus questioning tone made Minerva look back at him. She found his eyes with an unspoken soft demand for her to say more.
A shrug she gave him before she laughingly said, "Just the other day, Filius reported that one of his seventh year, Mr. Adams, I think was the student. He was caught passing paper during class. He had written that if he had to choose to marry one of the Professors at Hogwarts, he would definitely pick me. Apparently, the House of the Intellects has succumbed to debate about interesting viable options if unfortunately they would have to marry one of Hogwarts' staff... I must be the favourite Professor of the week!"
"Minerva..." Albus clicked his tongue, wandlessly and silently returned the held parchment to Minerva's desk, vacated his seat, went to the window, and unseeingly watched some students who are frolicking in the training grounds.
"Albus?" Minerva's manner had shifted from casual to somber, "What is it?"
The serious wave coming from the wizard has finally penetrated Minerva's attention. This made her completely relinquished her marking activity and went to Albus.
"What is the matter? What is this trepidation of yours about Miss Black's youthful antics? The entire Seventh Year Ravenclaws is having a sport on this, something that I had expected you to be amused about."
"I am certain the Ravenclaws are currently entertaining themselves. But Miss Black's pronouncement is not the same."
"I do not see how it is not… Apart from that, don't you remember what we had laughed about last week? About a student named Miss Clarke?"
Minerva was referring to a silly fifth-year girl who had submitted her essay to Professor Oscar, the wizard who is currently teaching the DADA course. The mentioned essay happened to contain none of the lessons but a long declaration of the student's all consuming love for Professor Oscar…
"You were seeing the comic of that, as well." Minerva pointed out, "Which by definition is the same silliness of what you've heard today from Miss Black."
Albus turned to Minerva and scrutinised her face. The witch momentarily wondered if the old wizard was employing legilimency with such intensity directed at her. But before she could attempt occlumency to shield her mind, Albus dropped his gaze and returned looking outside the window.
"Are you definite that you did not misplace your sherbet lemon?" Minerva tried to inject humour as she gently made the wizard faced her again.
"Ah…" Albus weakly smiled at Minerva's effort to lighten up.
"Do not make me worry for whatever it is that you are worrying about, especially when I do not even know it." Minerva's face screwed in confusion. "Please, speak openly."
And then Albus Dumbledore did.
"It is my belief that Miss Black has found herself in-love with you, and much unlike the other students we have laughed about."
"I beg your pardon?"
"Since her fifth year, Miss Bellatrix Black has fallen in love with you. "
"Then a student's infatuation, no doubt. And you are giving this with undue importance because?"
"Minerva, I am not giving it undue importance..."
"You are."
"Minerva, tell me that you are at least aware that the girl has taken great deal of listening to you since last year?"
"Yes." Minerva gave a dismissive shrug. "As I've I told you, I had a run-in with her beginning term last year… when she cut her hand with that horrendous knife, and gave her detention. Is Horace still implying that I'm stealing his Slytherin pure-bloods?"
"No. This has nothing to do with Horace."
"Good, because I'm done clearing it with him. And honestly, I thought it immature… The way I see it, he owes me for not disturbing his sleep to deal with a bleeding student that time. Poppy surely appreciated it."
"Yes, my dear. That is all settled… However, the point of the matter is, the eldest daughter of Cygnus and Druella Black has developed a great personal interest in you since last year… And the girl had returned this term, more certain of these sentiments."
"That is quite over the top... Yes, the girl and I have struck a bargain between us, unplanned though… But I am glad to take the opportunity to open my door to another student from another house because obviously—"
"Are you truly oblivious to the extreme effort the girl has been exerting for you?"
"Albus! Did you just call me daft?"
"No, Minerva… Nonetheless, tell me that you are sincerely unknowing of this?"
"What is THIS you are prattling about?"
"All right. All right." Albus said in contemplation as he stroked his beard, "Lets start over, and have an evenhanded discussion…"
"Lessen theatrics, please." Minerva huffed and unconsciously crossed her arms over her chest.
"For this school year alone," Albus warily began in explanation, "There is a good reason behind the significant decline of incidents in relation to the vicious bickering between Slytherin and Gryffindors…"
Minerva made a quick mental recollection. It led her to acknowledge the lesser number of episodes compared with last year, and the year before the last…
When Albus saw the recognition of such truth on Minerva's face, he persisted his belief, "I've gathered that this was due to Miss Black's behest…"
"Let's say, you are right… How, when she's not even in her seventh year?" Minerva curiously questioned.
"Due to her tremendous advanced skills… She's displaying them liberally, and put together with her usual artful material generosity, she is able to secure a certain commandeering over her housemates. I've seen it played out on several occasions. And usually I found the culmination as intended to please you..."
"To please me?" Minerva groaned at the exaggerated account from Albus.
"Yes. The machinations were mostly subtle, but they were there."
"Are you certain you are not merely being inventive and seeing meaning when there is none?" Minerva skeptically questioned... Vaguely, she knew that Albus could become quite mad at her insinuation, but then, she knew she is one of the few who could get away with it.
"I am old, my dear, but assure you I have yet to lose my wits and imagine things. Truth be told, I do not know how this has escaped your keen mind."
"Could you cite a specific case of this— this machination— intended to please me?" Minerva gently challenged.
Albus tilted his head in apparent recollection and Minerva was about to interrupt when he stated, "Your cubs did not suffer any deliberate fouls during the last Quidditch match against the Slytherin team that resulted a win for your team."
"They won that match fair and square." Minerva protested.
"Exactly… The usual shenanigans were missing. And it was an exciting match!" Albus retorted.
"And why do you think that had something to do with Miss Black?"
"It has everything to do with her threat to leave your cubs unharmed, for the Slytherins to play without illegal fouls. Furthermore, It was said that the threat came with a promise of a great treat if no harm done."
"Albus, why are we gossiping about students? Don't you find this preposterous?"
"You asked me for a specific incident… And I know that you have heard, just as nearly everyone in this castle, of the free flowing drinks, cakes, and candies that had been sponsored by Miss Black for her housemates during the last Hogsmead trip, as if they have won the game! When it was the mere completion of the promised treat."
That silenced Minerva…for she did know and has confirmation of such event...
Moreover, during said Hogsmead trip, she and Professor Oscar who served as chaperones were offered free drinks as well, which they of course, politely refused.
And what she won't tell Albus is that when they returned from Hogsmead, Bellatrix Black was knocking on her office door, and gave an explanation/apology for the inappropriateness of the offered drinks to her and Professor Oscar.
And then a second set of explanation/apology for the spending spree she made for her housemates... Which Minerva found absolutely odd as to why Bellatrix was explaining/aplogising about the treat, until later she heard the magnitude of the spending. That was when she connected the second apology she received. She understood that Bellatrix was apologising for seemingly not following her advice on generosity.
But as most things circulating amongst student body outside of their lessons, she did not give more thought to it…
And now… She is torn between hitting her own head and hitting Albus for the dimmer notion presented to her…
"Albus," Minerva wearily returning to their original topic, "We have seen a great share of this transient pursuit by students, more so by you… You must not take exception with Miss Black's fleeting 'personal fascination."
"Miss Black is highly talented, intelligent, and very Slytherin… And apparently decided to make you the center of her world."
"That's excessive, even for you Albus... No matter, for whatever the case may be, the girl is almost 17 and certainly will outgrow it very soon…"
"The girl is already a young woman, and with an intellect higher than some adults…"
"She is still young… A very young person who is probably getting delight in playing this game."
"It is no game, I assure you. Also, you were barely 14 years old when you were making life-altering deci—"
"That was different. That was war…"
"Given the whispers in some groups, I fear that we are heading to the same contention."
"You mean the talk of another dark wizard uprising? Surely, we have learned better to let lunatic corrupt our principles."
"People will always have a peculiar manner of learning the lessons of the past… But let's not talk of that, right now…" Albus deeply sighed as he dismissed the troubling thought and returned to issue of Bellatrix. "Minerva, I just want you to give thought on this."
"She is a student, perhaps infatuated with the idea of me, but she will soon laugh at herself about it. They all do, eventually."
"I hope for your sake that you are right. But my dear Professor, you are not without a brilliant mind, and you know the value of provision. May your utmost devotion as a teacher not blindside you from giving credence to the situation at hand."
"Charming, how I am a brilliant devoted blind Professor!" Minerva threw out her sarcastic remark.
"Add stubborn to the list, my dear." Albus retorted, matching Minerva's sarcasm. And he held up one hand to interrupt Minerva's incoming explosion.
Minerva gets hold of her infamous temper by pressing her lips together. From where she's standing, she really does not understand the trepidation that Albus has insisted. Admiring students come and go and through the years, Minerva has learned to harvest the advantages of it in terms of rousing the young people's potential while they are under their care instead of giving it undue concern. In the same vein, this is Albus Dumbledore, she knew that he must know something else.
After some time, Albus calmly said, "I have no wish to cause you anxiety." He briefly squeezed Minerva's arms before he dropped them.
Minerva caught Albus' brief wordless deliberation with oneself along with a genuine apprehension flashing on his face. She asked tersely, "What is it that you're not telling me?"
Albus silently deliberated, again, and he must have concluded to come clean when he said to Minerva, "I had thought I could generally make my point without having to tell you some other things I have—"
"Start talking without revision." Minerva interrupted as she was quite running out of patience. But to take out the sting, she added, "Please... Just tell me. I do not wish to go about blind on this."
"All right…" Albus relented and visibly steeled himself, "Miss Black told her sisters that you are unquestionably suitable for her, as you are Beautiful, intelligent, not without great magical skills, and that McGonagall is an acceptable bloodline."
"Oh, excellent to have a not so shabby bloodline—"
Minerva's sarcastic reply did not miss by Albus as one of her coping mechanism. But the appearing irate on his face was quickly dismissed, which replaced with clear concern when he threw in the last card.
"Bellatrix also told her sisters, that most of all, she is certain that Minerva McGonagall favors the fairer sex…"
That— knocked out Minerva.
The internal walls Minerva has built undeniably shot up and mostly like reinforced its impregnability. Physically, Albus watched her straightened her posture and crossed her arms.
"I've never conducted myself with anything less befitting my post inside or outside of this castle." Minerva hushed with barely repressed indignation.
"Minerva…" Albus carefully pressed on, "According to Bellatrix Black, she had seen you last summer, in Muggle Paris… And I quote— Escorting one beautiful brunette in a flowing crimson dress… and being more than friendly in a fancy hotel… End quote."
Emerald eyes widened, and Minerva endured Albus' grave discerning blue eyes for undetermined period before she withdrawn them. And then moved away from him to seek some sort of reprieve.
Distractedly, she moved behind her desk but did not sit down. She paced back and forth quite a few times until ultimately, she marched to one armchair and harshly sat down.
"Bloody eejit! Heid the baw! Awa' n' bile yer heed, you fuckin' roaster…" Minerva murmured strings of Gaelic expletives and it went on for several more minutes before she surrendered into restless silence. She rubbed her temples and tried to both recall and not recall that summer.
After some time, her attention shifted to Albus as he accio'd a chair in front of her. When he sat down, he took her stiff hands into his.
"I only understood two words from what you've last said. Something tells me that I must not wish for a translation, but I hope neither was about, or for me…"
"No." Minerva snorted, "They were all directed at myself."
Minerva internally re-grouped herself before she warily attempted an explanation, but words failed her at the moment, meanwhile a fresh barge of Gaelic curses paraded inside her mind.
Albus bid to interrupt her ongoing silent discomposure with a firmer grip on her hands, and once again blue eyes held steady of emeralds.
"Minerva, it was your summer vacation. Where, and with whom you spent it is no business of anyone… You are not compelled to tell me, unless you are opting to share the story with your old friend." Albus brought her hands to his chest before tenderly letting them go, while saying to her, "Preferably over a cuppa or your finest scotch when we play chess."
This time, Minerva half chuckled and half sob before she rambled, "Albus, I was in Paris… And we… She… The woman… If my memory serves me right, the woman I've spent two weeks in Paris was indeed in a flowing crimson dress on the day we parted. But I swear, outside a confined chamber… I would not… Albus, I would never behave thoughtlessly—"
"My dear," Albus stopped Minerva as she was well on her way to working herself into absolute dread… "I am entirely confident that it is more likely for the Board of the Governors to give Hogwarts unlimited provision without a thread of caveat, than you galvanizing public attention, most specially in relation to your personal life."
"I am not ashamed of myself, Albus. But I want my private life… private… left unmarked… And not for scrutiny, not for approval, not threatened by anyone."
"You, of all people should know…that I do understand you… And I am certain that you can hold yourself magnificently against any circumstance, or anyone, for that matter…"
"Thank you, Albus… But… But I have to say… Or rather, I don't know what to say… I do not know how Ms. Black had…"
"Perhaps it is only of grave coincidence that of all students, she was the one to have seen you…"
"And if not? What does that mean? What do you think it means?"
"That we must examine the credence over the need to judiciously deal with Ms. Black. "
"You know that I deal with students with the same accord. For whatever she may or may not know… or whatever interest she has in me… I do not want to cower or favour."
"I am not saying that you do… But we must agree that this warrants unusual consideration from your end. Not to do so would be foolhardy."
"She's a student. And in my book, that is the scope of my consideration—"
"Listen to me, Minerva… The last thing we want to happen is to have Professor Minerva McGonagall be viciously maligned by a rejected student…"
"Would this warrant my resignation?" Minerva angrily asked.
"Absolutely not! And that is most irrelevant… You are the finest Transfiguration Professor there is… Bear in mind that I once taught the same course and yet in my honest opinion, you are the best—"
"Be serious, Albus."
"I am… No one can beat your brilliance in Transfiguration, Minerva. I believe you are Nonpareil at it. There is a reason why you hold the top rank, and would do so for long undetermined period."
"But you expect me to curtail handling of my student—"
"I expect you to employ the wisest of actions… I know this is not ideal, or maybe contradictory with your principles as a teacher and as a private person. But I know that we are in accord that Bellatrix Black has the resources, the intelligence and the skills even at young age. Further, she is Slytherin, through and through… And belongs to a very influential family name… One misstep and we may have to deal with more than a juvenile problem."
And Minerva was left to agree with Albus Dumbledore's presentiment regarding one student, named Bellatrix Black.
. . . . . . .
After that lengthy narration by Minerva, the older witch lapsed into grave silence… However, evidently displaying on her face is such battle of emotions. Rage, resignation, and sorrow— just some of the dominant ones caught by Hermione. On the other hand, she found herself confronting focal matters that have been confirmed by Minerva's admission… Thoughts she had long reflected…
Of all the Slytherins…
Of all the Hogwarts Professors…
Of all the Death-Eaters who could've tortured her physically and verbally…
And then of all the witches Bellatrix had fallen in love with…
Of all the witches Hermione had fallen in love with…
Indeed, a bloody interconnecting hell of herself and one extremely mad Death Eater Bellatrix Black Lestrange. And such fact striking through one woman— none other than Minerva McGonagall.
"Albus had known…"
Hermione heard Minerva resumed speaking and she drove away the forbidding emotions threatening to explode. She knew that there is more to the story that she ought to hear, and more for her to absorb if she aims to comprehend someone like Minerva McGonagall.
"More than anything, Albus understood that a breached privacy would give me the greatest grief… And he was entirely right that it would have been a grave misjudgment to not heed any caution in handling the situation. Bellatrix was of course, not just from any family but also from one with serious range to ruin reputation."
Hermione knew that the Blacks are not only part of the sacred twenty of the Wizarding British, but also one of the elites in such roster because of their extensive wealth and connections… And not to mention, one of the first on board with Tom Riddle to wage war in the name of pureblood supremacy.
"Generally, the awareness made me regard extra forethought when dealing with the students, not just with Bellatrix. But true enough, here and there I've observed her artful machinations, as Albus had labeled. They weren't really violating school policies. In truth, one could say they were contributing to lesser skirmish amongst student body despite the brewing political debate happening outside the school. It is as if, some of the pureblood students are waiting their cue from her. And since she was wordless about it, many are following suit."
Hermione has read enough of Tom Riddle's first war that she knew that silent picking of sides started at the tail end of the decade in the 60s… And by quick mental math, the exact year of publicly declaration through dark mark imagery blazing in the sky was after Bellatrix had graduated Hogwarts.
"After my conversation with Albus, as months passed, nothing major involving Bellatrix transpired. Nothing until that term ended. The following school year opened and still Bellatrix was just keeping below the radar despite the noisier political bout outside. She was going about her NEWTS classes with obvious goal to excel. It almost made me decide that Albus was giving it too much weight. Except, all his forewarning had spelled itself, on the first Saturday of October…"
Of course, it was Minerva's birthday.
. . . . . . .
Minerva just stepped out from her bedroom into the outer room when a tap on her door disturbed the silence that commonly dominates such early morning, particularly when it is a Saturday and the castle's residents are opting to lounge longer in bed.
She did a tempus charm and confirmed that it was indeed so early; it was barely five in the morning. Her animagus hearing could catch feet shuffling behind the door before another soft knock sounded, an indication that the person behind was intent on seeing her. Despite wanting to not attend to anyone at the moment, her sense of duty prevailed.
As she went to her door, she quickly casted a spell that sent her loosely braided hair into its usual bun and slipped into everything that constitutes Professor McGonagall persona.
Minerva found seventh-year Bellatrix Black to be the early visitor; one who rushed her greeting, and her apology as she was standing with her hands on her back at her doorstep.
"Good morning Professor McGonagall! My deepest apology to disturb you at such unsocial hour… May I come in, Professor?"
Truthfully, Minerva wanted to say no. But since her discussion with Albus about Bellatrix, she yielded to give due cautiousness with the manner of which she interacts with said student... Of wilfully maintaining a proper mixture of professional tolerance and authoritarian rigorousness.
Minerva granted entry. She gestured to the chesterfield as soon as she shuts the door and casually ordered the student to take a seat as she herself took the armchair adjacent to it.
"Thank you, Professor. I have no intention to take too much of your time." Bellatrix cordially responded as she unheeded Minerva's instruction to sit down. Instead, she elected to stand before the older woman. "I just wanted to greet you Happy birthday!
"Oh… Right. Thank you, for the greeting."
Minerva actually forgot. Well, not really forgot since three days ago, she received from Albus an advanced birthday gift, a recently published autobiography of an American poet Maya Angelou. But strictly speaking, she had not realised yet that it is indeed her birthday since she woke up this morning.
"And this is for you." Bellatrix brought her hands from behind her and presented something to Minerva. "Please, please do not refuse to accept this." She hurriedly stated her appeal after obvious rejection appeared on Minerva's face.
Minerva was startled at Bellatrix's plea not to be refused. Nonetheless, in the next moment, she called on the sternest version of Professor McGonagall, "I have already discussed with you about gift giving—"
"I know… " Bellatrix passionately interrupted. "I promise that I do remember your point about gift giving and the falsity of it… It was terrible of me to give you that quill in order to buy your favor for easy detention… But I promise, this is not the same of its nature."
Bellatrix took a step and all the more outstretched her hands; this consequently brought the gift closer to Minerva. It was approximately a 4x4-inch velvet box being presented to her.
"Please, open it…"
Minerva did not do such thing.
Blasted Albus. Minerva thought and her irate doubled for she was certain that she would have dismissed this student without hesitation if not for his complex forewarning.
She stood up to gain a sort of physical leverage. Her mind was already half composing on how to reject Bellatrix's gift in a subtle and yet definitive fashion.
Regrettably, her action prompted Bellatrix to proceed with opening of the box herself. Minerva was once again stunned, at the action and at the designer type bracelet put forth for her, and her attention was throughly drawn by the magic attached to it…
Then she was ever more shocked when the Slytherin student pulled off a succession of quick movements that involved magically floating the item towards Minerva's wrist and fastening around it. All seemingly in a blink of an eye, the Professor found herself wearing the bracelet.
"It had taken a great deal of my summer to find a brilliant bracelet with this kind of design. When I figured I wouldn't find one in our world, I had to go to this famous muggle jewellery store that caters to customisation. And then it took me a greater deal of perfecting the transfiguration and charms I've put into it…" Bellatrix related with pride in her voice.
Minerva realised that she was backed into a problematic situation. First, she felt the desire to hastily remove the bracelet, one that was fastened to her without permission. She was also controlling the urge to rip it off for she knew that it'd be anything but unwise. And instantaneously, the teacher in her was considering giving praise over the remarkable magic embedded, that is usual above the capacity of underage students.
The bracelet was indeed exquisite and obviously costly. The custom design comprises a bounded sitting cat engraved into a precious stone on one end, of which the magic was affixed, as the animal is animated and gracefully circulating the chain— professedly running around Minerva's wrist.
"This is utterly beautiful. And quite impressive magic work." Minerva eventually went for frank truthfulness.
"I'm glad you find it so." Bellatrix beamed at the compliment.
"But I cannot accept this." Minerva served another forthrightness as she carefully but deliberately unclasped the bracelet, and handed it to Bellatrix.
"You can… Please…" Bellatrix pushed back Minerva's hand that held the bracelet.
"I am not taking—"
"Yes, yes! I know you have upstanding decorum and would regard material extravagance as unimportant; I swear I do not aim to tarnish that. But Minerva McGonagall is equally known for her other principles— one of which is that you'd never neglect courtesy by refusing something that was entirely meant for you…"
Minerva was stunned, again, at the cleverly veiled manipulation. The given flattery through the emphasis of specific standards that she had indeed set for herself had almost made her confused whether to be angry or laugh at the displayed ingenuity. And in the same moment, she was reminded of Albus Dumbledore's pre-assessment of this girl— slashed young woman's potential, pre-disposition, and actual objective.
"Be that as it may," Minerva then edges towards her usual authoritarian rigorousness, than her easy toleration, "It is most improper for a Professor to accept such."
"But I did not give it to Professor McGonagall. I've given it to Minerva McGonagall."
Another crafty response uttered by Bellatrix. And Minerva McGonagall did not miss the use of her first name. This time though, it neared her at the end of her patience.
"Miss Black, I did not think you'd need to be called out in the matter of rightfully addressing your professor with their title—"
"No, no! I meant no disrespect. I… I sincerely apologise if you felt that I have disrespected you. But you are mistaken. I'd never do that to you. I'm merely drawing my point that this gift is not for Professor McGonagall, but for—"
"You are a student, Miss Black. My student. Are you not?"
"I am. Yes, I'm a student… your student. But not forever! In fact, I won't be in a matter of few months. And I will also be of age by then… Further, I know my family can easily get me any elevated ranking job at the Ministry, but I intent to genuinely earn it, which is why I'm going for several 'Outstandings' in my NEWTS. And I also plan to take higher education— mastery in Transfiguration and maybe Potion and Defense. That way, I won't just be a witch from a prominent family who buys my way with money, but a woman of my own, with my own path— resembling that one that you have taken."
Given who Bellatrix Black is, Minerva understood the entirety of what the she had said, including those she did not actually articulate… of the girl's unspoken but weighty intention— for herself, for her life… and alas, Minerva found herself in the center of Bellatrix's amorous construction.
Now, without a doubt, it spelled the misgivings that she had been alerted about by Dumbledore. And how she and Bellatrix have arrived at a juncture. Minerva made a swift risk calculation and concluded that delay is of no use, that it could be more treacherous if not clipped right now. And so, the Gryffindor in her compelled her to brave the inevitable.
Minerva opted to usher themselves to sit at the earlier ignored chesterfield, along the way placing the gifted bracelet on the coffee table across it. She mentally cursed Merlin before she donned on her face the most understanding countenance she could muster. And then she dove into the confrontation.
"Bella," The name came out of Minerva before she could second-guess the wisdom of perusing the girl's shortened first name, one she only heard from Andromeda and Narcissa, "You are very intelligent and mature. I shall not offend you with false discussion…" She stated firmly, looking straight into attentive dark eyes of Bellatrix Black. "I cannot accept your gift… Today, or even when you are no longer my student."
"Why?"
"To accept is to feed you false hope."
There, Minerva rolled the first unmistakable refusal.
"You mean because you do not love me."
Even though Minerva had expected a somewhat similar reaction, Bellatrix's equally frank counter in a despondent tone still startled her. Perhaps because Bellatrix never sounded nor looked vulnerable in the six— almost seven years she has known the girl at Hogwarts… Additionally, it is a very contrast façade compared to the high-class Bellatrix Black that Minerva sees whenever the girl is out at public events as part of the Black Family entourage.
"I do care about you—"
"Please… You already said that you wouldn't belittle my intelligence…"
"You are right… Then there is no other way but to tell you that the extend of attachment I could offer is one from a mentor, or perhaps a friend…"
"Why? You do not think I am worthy of love."
"You are."
"Just NOT of your love."
"It is not like that... The truth of the matter is— I do not really know so much of love. But, I know that it is not enforced."
"But people fight for love, fight for the one inside their hearts. And your Gryffindor House is all about being brave to follow one's heart… I am doing just that, but you are as good as saying that being courageous is pointless."
"Courage is never pointless especially if fuelled together with love. But to lead you into a lie just so you could hear from me what you want to hear will do you no good. Plus, believe me that there's a reason why until now I am not settled with someone…"
"People say that it is because no wizard is good enough for you. And that is wholly due to Dumbledore's control on your life—"
"That is unfair judgment. It is has nothing to do with Dumbledore—"
"I agree. And I've deduced that it is because you have not met a witch worthy enough to risk your solidity. So, you have to give me a chance."
"Bella, I am sorry to have to tell you that I am not the one for you."
"Not yet because obviously I am still your student. But in time—"
"Please listen to me…" Minerva reached for the young Bellatrix hands and pressed to have her utmost comprehension in such moment. "I shall admit to you something very personal that I hope could make you understand… But, I want you to promise that you will not share it to anyone else."
"You do not have to force yourself to tell me something private in order to dissuade me."
"It is my hope that you will see that is for your own benefit to hear the truth from me…" After Minerva sensed a sort of accord from Bellatrix, she took a breath before she disclosed, "The reason I am not married, or settled down, or romantically with someone, is not because I am in love with Albus Dumbledore, or that he controls my personal life in whichever manner many have conjured of… That is not the case. The truth is— I do NOT believe that… that kind of bliss is for everyone."
"Do you meant that you do not believe in love?"
"I do believe in love. Amongst families, amongst friends... But I don't believe in romantic love."
"Why?"
"Mainly, the life I've had, which is more than twice the years that you have lived, it went through enough for me to believe that such design of love is not for all to have. Ultimately not one for me…"
"You are wrong not to believe. Life will prove you wrong when you learn to fall in love. My love for you will make you see—"
"We already agreed that you are intelligent. So, you must know that you cannot truly fall in love with someone when you do not even know them… That said, you do not know me. Yes, you know the Professor, but that is not entirely me."
"Then why won't you permit me to know you?"
"Because I already know myself. And I'm already certain that the end you aim will not be… And you will outgrow this, Bella... As you age, you will see the astuteness of this…negation. And perhaps you will laugh and be grateful that I did what I'm doing now, especially when you finally meet the person who is meant for you. There is someone out there for you, Bella, but it is not me."
With that, Bellatrix turned to face away from her and settled into silence. Minerva supposed that Bellatrix Black has ultimately recognised the merit of what she had imparted. She watched as various expression rushed over Bellatrix Black. Minerva patiently waited, as she knew the internal realisation must be tough to fully accept.
After a while, Bellatrix slowly rose from her seat. "Thank you for speaking to me frankly." She stated softly and moved to smoothen her skirt. She took in a deep breath, then completely straightened herself, raised her eyes to meet Minerva's emerald eyes before she continued in the same careful voice, "But may I ask a simple favour?"
"Only if I am capable or allowed to grant it." Minerva stated as softly, not wanting to disturb the seemingly break she got through with Bellatrix Black.
"I'd ask that you keep this…" Bellatrix gestured towards the bracelet. And immediately held up one hand before Minerva could object. "Only until I come back for it."
"When will that be?" Minerva asked in concession.
"I will come back for it… when I'm finally with the person I'm meant to be— who is not you…"
For a moment, Minerva was surprised to see Bellatrix's dark eyes that are normally cordial to her had become severe and stony. All at once, it introduced Minerva to the pureblood lineage. And before she could utter a response, Bellatrix dismissed their conversation.
"Have a great day, Professor. And again, may you have many returns."
End of Chapter 32 - Year 2005 – 4th Seventh of May
Chapter Title: Bella
Gaelic translation:
Eejit = Idiot
Heid the baw = Idiot
Awa' n' bile yer heed, you fuckin' roaster = Go and boil your head, you twat
AN:
I hope this chapter gave you even a tiny bit of where Minerva was coming from?
And I thank you for not giving up on this story :)
Posted 2021 February 17