Book Club: How The King of Elfhame Learned to Hate Stories

Prompts:

[scenario] Telling a Story

Word Count: 1550

James leapt over the back of the couch and landed on the cushion, flattening it. He quickly fluffed it back up. "Uncle Ollie, Mum says you were Dad's captain at Hogwarts. Dat's th—true?"

Oliver nodded, trying to change Lily's nappy. Lily kept on grabbing her feet and rocking from side to side, which made it difficult for Oliver to do anything quickly. "Yeah, I was. Why?"

"Wha' was Dad like? When he played Qweedditch? Was Mum on same team? Didju play wid them? Did Dad win? Did Dad lose?" James asked excitedly, leaning over and tugging on Oliver's hair.

"First, I'll change Lily's nappy, and then, I'll tell you." Finally, he managed to get the nappy on Lily and held her up to inspect it. "Seems about right…"

"Unca Owwie," Albus called out, and Oliver looked up to see him pointing at the nappy. "Wong."

Oliver almost swore in the children's presence but stopped himself just in time. Babysitting children was hard work, after all. He needed the experience for his own future children. Oliver spent the next four minutes trying to get the sticker to latch on to the sides again, and when he was done, he leaned back against the couch and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Uncle Ollie, story!" James demanded, tugging on Oliver's hair again.

Merlin's beard, these kids are a handful. Oliver said, "All right, you want to hear the story too, Al?"

"Yes, pwease." Albus got off his chair and waddled over. Sitting down, he placed his chin on his knee, staring at Oliver.

James whooped in delight and shot off the couch to sit next to Albus. Oliver picked Lily up and cradled her before he began his story.

"So, before your dad came to Hogwarts, Uncle Charlie was our Seeker. You know what a Seeker is?"

"Yeah, we're not stew-pit," James said, giggling behind his hands.

Oliver rolled his eyes good-naturedly. He made sure to keep his sentences short for the children to understand him better. "Anyway, after Uncle Charlie left, the Slytherins were winning—"

James booed at the mention of Slytherins, and Albus covered his ears and grimaced. Lily simply clapped at James' antics.

Oliver grinned and high-fived James before he continued, "But when your dad joined the team, we won every single match! He was the youngest Seeker in a century! He was so good no one could beat him! It was amazing."

"Gwasses?" Albus asked, bewildered, and James snickered. It was a running joke in their family that Harry couldn't see anything without his glasses — just like Velma Dinkley from Albus' favourite cartoon, Scooby-Doo.

"Oh, yeah, even with those glasses of his! Once, his glasses almost won us the match," Oliver said, smiling at the memory. Well, now it was funny to him, but back then, it had been the worst day of his life.

"Yay!" James cheered, and Lily babbled something in her own language as she smacked Oliver's chest with her fist.

"So, we were playing against Hufflepuff. They had a new Seeker — Cedric Diggory — and it was my last year at Hogwarts. I wanted our team to win. It was raining and pouring—"

James immediately grabbed Albus' hands and dragged him to his feet. James began to sing, "It's raining, it's pouring, de house-elf is snoring!"

Oliver laughed and tugged them back down. "Sit down, and let me finish my story." When he had their attention again, Oliver continued, "So, we were flying in the rain, unable to see anything, and then I called for a time-out. Best decision ever."

"Why?" Albus asked, his green eyes wide with curiosity. "Where's Dad?"

"Your dad was trying to find the snitch. But because of the rain, he couldn't see anything. When we stopped playing, Aunt Hermione — the brilliant, brilliant witch she is — came to us."

"Wha' did Aunt Mine-ee do?" James asked. "Did she do magic? She's goog at it!"

"Oh, yeah, she did a lot of magic that day," Oliver said, a goofy smile forming on his face at the memory. He remembered the way she had cast the Impervius on Harry's glasses and how much Oliver had wanted to kiss her then.

"Why?" Albus was at that age when all he wanted were the answers to everything in the world.

"She made sure your dad would be able to see the snitch and —"

"Aunt Mine-ee cheated?" James gasped, covering his mouth in horror. Albus gasped as well, his eyes widening, though he didn't really understand.

"It's not against the rules," Oliver said defensively. Lily giggled and reached up to tug on Oliver's hair. Oliver smiled, held Lily's hand, and shook it up and down. "See? Lily understands, don't you, lassie?"

"So, Aunt Mine-ee cheated?" James asked, trying to wrap his mind around that fact.

"No! Don't say that! I meant it's not cheating if it's not written in the rules," Oliver explained, but the two boys didn't understand. Trying to distract them, Oliver said, "Moving on… After Aunt Hermione did her magic, your dad could see the snitch!"

The two boys cheered enthusiastically. "Wha' happened? Didju win?" James demanded, leaning forward.

"No, your dad flew after Diggory to grab the snitch, but then…" Oliver lowered his voice dramatically. "The Dementors appeared!"

"Why?" Albus asked again.

"Wha's Dementuds?" James asked, frowning in confusion.

"Dementors want to suck your soul. They wear black clothes and they float," Oliver said, covering Lily's ears with his hands. He didn't know if he should be telling the children about the Dark creatures or not, but it wouldn't hurt, would it? What was the worst that could happen?

"Whaaa?" Albus whispered, terror evident in his eyes. He clutched onto James' arm and whimpered.

James swallowed. "Dat's scary… but tell me! Did Dad fight de Dee-men-tuhs?"

"No, your dad fell off his broom," Oliver deadpanned.

Tears formed in Albus' eyes and he began to wail at the top of his lungs. "No!" he screamed and threw himself into Oliver's lap. "Daddy! Daddy!"

James sniffled and tried to look brave. "Dey sucked his soul?"

"No, because he fell off his broom," Oliver said, trying to calm Albus down. Due to his cries, Lily was getting agitated, and she looked ready to start crying as well. "Relax, boys, your dad was fine. He just fell fifty feet, that's all—"

"Fifty! Da's more dan ten!" James cried in shock and awe, and Albus sobbed even louder. Lily finally gave in to her instincts and started bawling and flailing her arms around.

Poor Oliver sat there, trying to calm the children down, but he didn't have any success. He attempted to shush them, tell them Harry had been perfectly fine, but the two youngest refused to stop crying.

When Hermione arrived at the house an hour later, Oliver was still trying to calm the two children down while James was running around the living room screaming about how brave his dad was. Hermione stood in the doorway, watching Oliver jiggle Lily from side to side while Albus clung to his thigh.

James caught sight of Hermione and squealed, "Aunt Mine-ee! You're here!" He ran towards her and grabbed her hand, yanking her down to his height. "Uncle Ollie says you cheated!"

"I did not!" Oliver cried, his eyes wide with horror. "Love, don't listen to him!"

"He did, did he?" Hermione asked lightly, ruffling James' hair. "What else did he say about me?"

"Said you were brilliant," James said happily.

Hermione looked amused as she stood up and walked over to Oliver's side. "Were brilliant, Oliver? Is there something you wish to tell me?"

"I said brilliant witch she is," Oliver corrected him, annoyed as he kept on shaking his leg to soothe Lily. "Merlin, witch, don't pin this on me, please. And help me!"

Hermione laughed as she bent down and pressed her lips to Oliver's for a soft kiss. Instantly, Oliver's tense shoulders relaxed and a sense of peace washed over him. He wanted to deepen their kiss, but unfortunately, the children were still wrapped around him.

When she pulled away, Hermione reached down to take Albus from him. "Come here, Albus, and tell Aunt Mione what's wrong." Albus immediately wrapped his arms around Hermione's neck and clung to her instead.

"Thank you!" Oliver almost sobbed in relief, and Hermione chuckled.

Rushing over to her side and tugging on the hem of her shirt, James asked, "Aunt Mine-ee, didja know Dad fell fifty feet? Da's more dan ten feet! Dad's awesome, isn't he?"

"Please, don't tell her that story again," Oliver pleaded, shaking his head. "Albus didn't like the part about the D-e-m-e-n-t-o-r-s," he said, spelling out the last word.

Hermione gasped. "You told them about that? Oliver! They're just children! Next, you'll be telling them about the dragon ride!"

"Dwagon?" Albus asked, his face scrunching up again. Tears streamed down his face as he began crying again, and Hermione grimaced as James begged them to tell the story.

"That was your fault, by the way," Oliver said, smirking as he watched Hermione pacing around the living room and shushing Albus.

"Oh, shut up, you. I don't know what you said about me cheating about something, but I'm not going to forget that."

"I swear I didn't say that!"