I have been struck by that pesky little thing, Writer's Block! I wanted to have this story completed before I posted a new chapter, but things are not going my way. So I'm hoping by posting it that I will work through my block.
We're in Athelstan's perspective again here, and this chapter will mark the end of King Ecbert's time in the story. I really liked writing him, and I'm looking ward to it again in Part three.
Plus time finally meets back up in this chapter, along with a couple of other things.
Enjoy!
Tested
When Ecbert came to see Athelstan two days after the battle, after they had brought Rollo back to the villa to tend his wounds, after Ecbert had obviously exhausted every other option, the intention was plain. Everyone else obviously believed Athelstan was expendable. Ecbert had essentially been backed against a wall, and he'd been given no other choice. Athelstan couldn't say he was surprised or that he was worried, but he felt Ecbert knew that, given the time they'd spent together and the things they had talked about.
"It seems you will have your wish, Athelstan," he said as he entered the small room where Athelstan had been restoring the Roman scrolls. "My advisors have all agreed that we will send you to give our new message to the Northmen." He moved to Athelstan's side, turning him to face him like a father would his son. "I want you to know that I did not want to agree with this, and if it were up to me, you would never leave these walls ever again."
Athelstan pushed out a short breath. "I understand, Sire," he said nodding. "I will do whatever it takes for there to be peace. I am certain that I can get Ragnar to listen to me. He knows me. Or at least he did."
Ecbert pursed his lips, squeezing Athelstan's shoulders. "You will be leaving within the hour, so gather what you think you will need, and I will find a horse for you. I'm afraid my advisors would not agree to send any more men to be slaughtered, so you will be going alone. But if you are confident that you will be safe, then I am confident as well. I will see you at the gates at high noon."
He patted Athelstan's shoulder and huffed, turning and leaving. Athelstan waited until he was gone to step away from his table and pull his cloak from the Minerva statue he usually hung it on.
Athelstan remembered what Rollo had said while they'd been in the infirmary. The older warrior had been surprised to see him but weak and unable to resist making threats. Thankfully, none of them had been toward Athelstan, but to Ecbert and Ælle and Horik. Athelstan still remembered the words coming from Rollo's mouth as he had slipped back into unconsciousness.
"Your wife will be happy to see you."
His heart had actually stuttered a little when he heard it. At first, he thought Rollo was speaking metaphorically. Surely, Lilith hadn't crossed the sea to get to him. If she had survived giving birth, their child would only be six months old by his counting. No Northwoman would ever leave her infant child at home to be looked after by someone else. He knew that from Aslaug. Rollo had to be delirious, meaning Lilith would be happy to see him. Surely that was what he meant.
In any case, Athelstan thought over what he would say to Ragnar if only to confirm the words for himself. Surely, even if Lilith was stubborn like she could be, Ragnar would not have allowed her to come so far with an infant. There wouldn't be much time to ask, but Athelstan hoped he wouldn't have to find the time. He hoped Ragnar would tell him when he saw him.
A week earlier, Peregrine had begun leaving his room in the middle of the day and not returning until it was the middle of the night. Shortly after that, her kittens began following her, and soon, the space beneath his bed was vacant most of the day and night, unless he purposefully put food out for them. It seemed like whatever need they'd had of him had been spent. It made him a little sad, but he knew that meant it was almost time for him to leave the villa. He couldn't say it wasn't well-timed.
Within an hour, Athelstan had gathered the few things he could take with him, pulling his cloak on and leaving the small room where he worked to find Ecbert at the front gates. The old mare waiting didn't look like she could run very fast, and she groaned when Athelstan mounted her while Ecbert stood waiting, but once he was settled, so did she.
"I will see you when you return, Athelstan," Ecbert bid him.
Athelstan nodded, taking the reigns of his horse and nudging her on so they could get on their way. At his side, in his pouch, he carried his new journal, the one he'd made himself for Lilith, so she would know everything he'd seen and everything he'd been through. If he could, he would give it to Ragnar so Lilith would know he was still the same man she had grown up with and married.
The road was long, but Athelstan knew when he was close to the camp, his ears picking up the archers in the trees and the hammers pounding anvils that echoed off the water. He had missed that sound for so long, often sitting close to the blacksmith's shop in the courtyard to remember it a little. The front barracks of the camp looked the way they always did, the ramps and pikes in place to fend off any possible attackers. The men in front spotted him, but they didn't stand to aim their weapons at him. Athelstan hoped that was a good sign.
The front pikes were removed, and he was allowed to enter the camp, looking for familiar faces and seeing Lagertha as she came from the back of the crowd. The small smile on her face appeared and disappeared in a split second, causing Athelstan's heart to stutter a little. Then beside her, he saw a young man, tall and broad and strong just like in his dreams, and he felt a new hope replace his uncertainty.
"Bjorn?" he said, questioning. "Is that you?"
The young man smiled and nodded. "Of course it is me. It has been a long time, Priest. It is good to see you again."
Athelstan didn't mean to blush, but he found it impossible not to as he bowed his head. "I didn't know if you would remember me. Five years is a long time."
Bjorn shrugged. "Of course I remember you. We have been through quite a lot together, even if I did want to sacrifice you to the gods when I was a boy. It seems they had other plans for us, and I realized I loved you as one only can someone who was like a brother to them. Perhaps not as much as my sisters, but still."
"We have been through a lot together," Athelstan agreed, nodding. "I am very glad to see you." He paused, collecting his thoughts. "I know you and your uncle were close. I came here to tell you that he is alive. We found him wounded, but he is being taken care of now."
Bjorn looked as pleased as Athelstan expected, glancing to his other side and finding a different face with whom he also shared kinship. He followed the same line of sight, meeting Ragnar's eyes for the first time in a year and remembering their last conversation.
Athelstan expected to see some kind of anger or even disappointment in Ragnar's eyes, but there was nothing but relief. It was unclear if that relief was because of the news about Rollo or if it was because he was seeing Athelstan for the first time in a year. The same look was in Bjorn's eyes, even if more time had passed since they had seen one another, and thankfully, Lagertha looked at Athelstan the same as her son and the father of her children.
Absently, Athelstan looked over the crowd that had gathered, hoping to see the face he so desperately needed to see, but she wasn't there. Perhaps Rollo had been hallucinating. Perhaps the desire to see her had overridden his knowledge of such things and how impossible they truly were. As he looked through the crowd, he saw Floki and King Horik watching him suspiciously, but he expected no less, especially with the way things were when they had all been separated. Athelstan looked Horik in the eyes, hoping the fact that he was alive made the older man uncomfortable.
"King Horik," he nodded.
Lagertha finally stepped out of the shadows, drawing his eyes to her. "It is good to see you, Athelstan," she nodded. "You look well."
Again, he tried to hide his smile. "It's good to see you as well. I have missed you."
She stopped at Bjorn's side, almost blocking Floki's view of him. "Why have you come here now?" she asked, glancing around at everyone else.
Slowly, he composed himself, changing the tone in his voice. "King Ecbert has expressed to me that he no longer wishes to fight. He wants to offer you peace. And if you agree, I'm certain there can be co-existence between us all."
Horik moved forward, the suspicion in his eyes almost hiding the hint of fear. "Why would we want any kind of peace with a man who has betrayed us?" he shouted so everyone could hear him. "And why would we want co-existence with Christians? Why should we listen to you after you betrayed us?"
Athelstan tried to keep his own anger from surfacing, bowing his head slightly as he spoke. "King Ecbert hopes that we will all be able to put the past behind us. If we can all agree to move forward, he will prove to you his honest intentions. I know him. He has the capacity to be reasonable. Surely, King Horik, it is more important to think of the future rather than the past."
Horik sneered. "Unlike you, Priest, we do not forget those who betray us. We do not forget slights or insults, and we do not reason with those who do those things to us. And besides, how do we know that as soon as we agree to these things that your King will not kill us?"
"He will not do that," Athelstan shook his head. "I swear. And while you might not trust me, I have come here nonetheless with this offer from a man whose son was viciously attacked and who has no reason to offer it. And believe me, King Horik, I never forget anything. Betrayal or insults otherwise."
The hint of fear faded almost completely, replaced by a menacing grin. "So now you are his errand boy," Horik spat. "He sends you to do his bidding because you are one of them. You were never one of us! Now you are a dog. You sit at his feet waiting for commands, and you lick his fingers. You lick his arsehole!"
Athelstan pressed his lips together, clenching his teeth. For all his bluster, Horik was no better than a petulant five-year-old, slinging around childish slander at the first target he saw. Athelstan could see now that he never should have allowed this man to change his path. With any hope, that particular problem would be remedied soon.
"I'm surprised to hear you say that, King Horik," Athelstan prodded. "Seeing that you were at my wedding and offered the first blessing to me and my wife who is the daughter of your own ally."
Before Horik could rebuke him, Floki stepped around Lagertha as she still stood close to Bjorn, almost skipping toward Athelstan with a gleam in his beady eyes.
"I really love your new clothes, Athelstan," he commented, and it was obvious he wasn't being sincere. "And your hair," he added almost reaching out to touch the leather holding it back. "Very nice. You must fit in with your King very nicely. Like his son."
It was with a heavy sigh that Athelstan thanked whatever God or gods had made it possible for him to not be wearing monk's robes at this precise moment. He could only imagine how that would have been received, even if he was wearing the cross Ecbert had given him, though not for the reasons it had been given.
Lagertha stepped forward again, ahead of Floki to bring Athelstan's attention back to her. "Is Ecbert prepared to offer us a hostage?" she asked much more formally than her previous question.
Athelstan nodded, looking between her and Bjorn and then passed them at Ragnar. "He is, yes. He wants to reassure you in any way he can that we can all resolve this together." He could finally see in her eyes and hear in her voice that she trusted him again, and he was relieved at her answer.
"Then we will meet him," she decided, nodding and smiling when he nodded.
"Who are you to say?" Horik demanded, almost literally poking his nose in.
"You do not need to come," Lagertha said to him pointedly. "Ragar and I will go, and if Ecbert means to kill us, then so be it."
Athelstan nodded again, pleased for that small favor. "I will give him your answer," he said and turned to leave.
In just a few minutes, he'd accepted that Rollo hadn't been in his right mind, hadn't meant to say anything about Lilith. He'd seen Ragnar, but it was clear that some time would have to pass before he could press that button again. He was about to pull his mare away when he heard Ragnar's voice for the first time in a year.
"I will accompany you," Ragnar announced. He glanced at the people around them including Horik and Floki, adding, "part of the way."
Athelstan didn't have to ask why, remembering the archers and knowing many of them had to be ordered to shoot on sight. He could probably guess correctly that they were Horik's men who had provoked Ecbert, and he wondered why they hadn't shot him when he'd arrived. Then he remembered that they had allowed Aethelwulf to make his offer and then leave before attacking. And he was even more grateful for Ragnar's good will.
Ragnar kept him close as they walked, away from the clearing and into the brush, and it wasn't lost on Athelstan that he remained on his left side, effectively blocking anyone from seeing him and finding a good shot.
"It is good to see you, my friend," Ragnar said as they walked, though he kept looking behind them. "We all feared you were dead."
Athelstan sighed heavily. "There were times when I almost wished I was. It was hard not to give in to despair. But I had all of you, my family to keep me going."
After a pause, Ragnar glanced at his clothes and the cross hanging around his neck. "So have you returned to your faith?" he asked, as curious as ever. "Renounced ours?"
"I wish it were so simple," Athelstan said sadly. "In the gentle fall of rain, I can hear my God, but in the Thunder that follows, I still hear Thor. That was my agony, I suppose. If I'd had you or Lili with me, I know it would not have been so. My time here hasn't been easy. And while I have found few friends here, many of the people around me have not helped. Not like you or Lili did. Not like our family."
Ragnar contemplated his words for a long moment, grinning as he spoke. "Well, I hope that someday, our gods can all become friends and family. Just like we have."
He looked at Athelstan with his curious eyes, prompting the first genuine smile Athelstan had felt in a year.
They made it to a clearing after another minute, and Ragnar stopped, looking around. He turned to Athelstan and reached into his leather mailed armor, extracting two things.
"I have some things to return to you," he said with a new, teasing smile as he held up Athelstan's arm ring and proceeded to ease it onto his wrist. "And this," he said, opening his palm so Athelstan could see the small, silver band inside it.
Athelstan's heart stopped as he reached for it. Unlike Ecbert, Ragnar did not stop him, laughing softly as Athelstan held the ring in his fingers. "My wedding ring," he exclaimed. "But why?"
He looked up at Ragnar, seeing the man's eyes change from playful to serious in an instant. "Ragnar, no," he said.
Ragnar sighed. He didn't have to say anything. Athelstan knew. Rollo had been telling the truth.
"Why is she here?" Athelstan demanded, more to himself than to Ragnar. "Didn't she just have a baby?"
Ragnar took his shoulder, making his look at him. "I did everything I could," he promised. "You know how stubborn your wife can be, and there was no stopping her. She and my granddaughter made the journey quite well. Thor was on our side this time. I believe it had everything to do with you."
Athelstan was stunned, looking back at the camp and then his ring. "You mean they're both here?" he pleaded. "I didn't mean for her to — I never wanted for her to think she had to — What was she thinking?" Then he paused and took a deep breath. "I have a daughter."
He lifted his eyes to Ragnar, discovering the man smiling wider than anything. He held Athelstan's hand, seeing the scars on his hand and clenching his teeth before he glanced around the clearing. "You are safe to go," he said and then pulled him closer. "But I will see you soon. I am certain I will have good news to give both my daughters. Hmm?"
Athelstan nodded, and Ragnar turned to go. "Wait!" he shouted.
Before Ragnar could leave, he hurried back to his pouch and pulled out the journal he'd made for Lilith. He turned back to his friend, holding it protectively all the same. "Give this to her," he pleaded. "I want her to know how much she helped me. How much you all did. I want her to know this place hasn't changed me. I did what she said. Instead of just watching, I listened. And it saved me. Again."
Ragnar took the book and tucked it into his leather mail, laying his hand over Athelstan's shoulder. "On you get," he nudged. "Son."
Athelstan didn't mean to blush, but when he did, Ragnar smiled, exiting the clearing as Athelstan mounted his mare and made his way back to the villa.
So many things raced through Athelstan's mind as he rode back to the villa to tell Ecbert that Ragnar had agreed. He thought of Bjorn and how close to his dreams he'd looked. He thought of Lagertha as strong and stalwart as ever. Ragnar and Floki. He thought of Lilith and her stubbornness forcing Ragnar to bring her and their child, their daughter, across the sea to get him back. Had she heard his voice? Did she know for certain she would see him again soon? Would she be able to forgive him for leaving her alone for so long? They'd been separated like this before, when she'd been younger, but this time was completely his fault, and he had no excuses.
He wanted to see her now, but he had to bide his time while the others talked. He'd waited a year for this. He figured he could wait another day or two.
Athelstan was surprised to find Ecbert just inside the front gates when he returned, and the older man smiled up at him like he'd just gotten his favorite child back from a bad separation. It wasn't lost on Athelstan that he was now treated completely different from anyone else in the villa despite what the man knew about his marriage, and what Athelstan had been made to reveal about his and Lilith's past.
"Oh, you're back, my dear friend!" he chuckled. "I began to worry they might not have let you go. You are so precious to me. I couldn't bear for us to be parted."
"Of course, I came back," Athelstan assented. "It was just like I said. I told them your terms and Ragnar and Lagertha both agreed. They will be ready in the morning for peace talks. I'm sure they will wish for the return of Rollo more than anything. He is Ragnar's brother."
Ecbert nodded and took Athelstan under his arm. "Oh, yes, well, we'll talk about all of this when we all sit down. But you've got some more work to do for me before then. There's always so much to do."
Athelstan stopped, turning to face Ecbert and speaking as seriously as he could. He lifted his hand to his cloak, making sure Ecbert saw his wedding ring when he began. "I feel compelled to tell you, King Ecbert," he said as the man frowned slightly. "My wife has come with Ragnar to England. She is here now, in their camp. And I thought it — "
"That's wonderful!" he exclaimed. "Well, I would love to meet her if you would permit it. She must be a truly astonishing young woman for you to love her. What do you think? I mean, I am just an old King, but surely, that won't insult her."
Athelstan didn't mean to laugh, but when he did, Ecbert took his shoulders again. "Then it's settled, and now we must eat. I'm starving."
That night, after supper and after Ecbert had made another grand overture about wanting to meet Lilith to lavish every affection on her, Athelstan retired to his room to be alone with his thoughts for the first time since arriving back at the villa. He'd long been left without guards, since Ecbert appeared to trust that he would not leave on his own, and in the past year, that would have been true. Athelstan hadn't the capacity to leave before now. But in doing what Lilith had said and watching Ecbert in his actions, Athelstan knew the man far better than it seemed he knew his prized possession.
Athelstan still remembered his first year with Ragnar and Lagertha. He'd only been a slave, but being with them and having Lilith be free for the first time in her life had opened his eyes to a whole new way of existing. He hadn't really had a choice as a child after being given to the monastery. Athelstan wondered if he'd grown up with his parents and siblings what his life would have been like. Now that he was a father, he knew what he wanted to do. And he wasn't letting Ecbert stop him.
He found he couldn't sleep at all, pacing his room for half the night before he settled in front of the eastern most window that faced Ragnar's camp. He thought of the last time he'd seen Lilith and how she'd put his cuff on before revealing that she would bear him a child. She had been so beautiful, still glowing from their wedding and happier than he'd ever seen anyone even after growing up with all his love and Gyda's. He tried to imagine what his daughter might look like, thinking back to a vision he'd had in his fever after being brought to the villa.
Would she have his eyes or Lilith's? How long would her hair be? Would she have freckles across her nose like her mother did in the summer?
He couldn't stop thinking about it. He couldn't even sit down when the sun rose to start his work on the scrolls, realizing that while it had been important all these last months, now it just felt like busy work that Ecbert had given him to keep his mind off any idea of the man's idle threats and lavish gifts.
More than anything now, Athelstan wanted to protect Lilith from this King. He prayed that Ragnar would be firm enough with Lilith to have her stay at the camp where she was safe. He hoped she knew he would come home to her. Surely, she would trust that he would return to her once it was safe.
There were no words for Athelstan to express how relieved he was when Ragnar came that morning without Lilith accompanying him. Of course with Lagertha and Bjorn, Athelstan felt confident he could at least relax knowing they trusted him again. And King Horik looked absolutely livid as he sat at the negotiation table, not only proven wrong but also embarrassed that whatever his plan was hadn't worked.
Athelstan could still remember how useless King Horik had been at any kind of negotiating when they'd been here a year earlier. The man had no mind for agreements, only demands, and now Ragnar would see. There was no way of knowing what King Horik had initially intended, but the result had been plain. Because of him, Athelstan had spent a year away from Lilith, and he had missed the birth of his child. Even Ecbert had not begrudged Athelstan the right to be with his family, even if he'd dropped many not-so-subtle hints over the last several months. Athelstan didn't know what Ragnar planned to do about Horik, but he knew it would take quite a lot to forgive the man for the wreckage he'd left in his wake.
All through the negotiations, Ecbert tried to keep Athelstan on a short leash, only giving him a chance to talk after speaking himself. Athelstan noticed Ragnar watching the way Ecbert kept him within arm's length, and he could see how it bothered him. Ecbert was more possessive than anyone Athelstan knew, even King Ælle, but he knew he would be glad for the conclusion to this ordeal, whatever that was.
When Ragnar and Lagertha both agreed to the terms of Ecbert's proposal, and only King Horik was the hold out, it proved all of Athelstan's suspicions. The man had truly never meant to have peace, and now that he'd been overruled, he had no choice but to agree. Once he had, Ecbert declared the talks a success, suggesting they seal the deal with a celebratory drink.
"I know we had a rocky beginning," he said where everyone there could understand him, Athelstan included. "But here is to a long and prosperous relationship."
He lifted his cup, smiling at them all and nodding before he glanced at Athelstan. "Skäl!"
Everyone else joined him and raised their cups as well, and as they drank, he leaned over to speak to Athelstan quietly.
"There are some things I wish to speak on with you as well, my friend," he said, touching Athelstan'd shoulder. "Just between us."
Athelstan absently clenched his jaws, finding Ragnar's gaze and then Lagertha's before he bowed his head and took a deep breath. Ever since Ragnar had shown up, Ecbert had been acting like this, and it was honestly becoming tiresome. He understood Ecbert's behavior because he'd seen it in other people, but that did not mean it was justified in the slightest. Ecbert had known this entire time about Lilith, and he still felt the need to cling to Athelstan like a lion would its cub. It was frustrating, especially since the man had his own son.
Ragnar was the last one to leave, who along with Princess Kwentrith, couldn't seem to keep his eyes off Athelstan, but for two very different reasons. Once it was just Ecbert, he bid Athelstan to follow him to a different part of the villa than he was accustomed to after so long.
They walked passed a number of chambers before Athelstan asked where they were going.
"It's a surprise, my dear Athelstan," he informed him.
The last time Ecbert had presented him with a surprise, he had unveiled a cache of ancient Roman artifacts before idly threatening him with a second and more than likely fatal crucifixion. Athelstan still remembered that moment with disturbing clarity. That was the moment he'd chosen to start resisting Ecbert's advances where gifts and allowances had been concerned. That had not stopped the man from pressing, but at least he'd remained as firm as he could under the circumstances.
Ecbert stopped at a large oak door, glancing back at Athelstan before he pushed it open and gestured for him to go in.
The room on the other side of the door was four or fives times the size of his room on the other side of the villa, with a larger bed and a larger desk and so much floor space that it was clearly meant for two people. Possibly more.
"What do you think?" he asked, moving around to light the few braziers he could without straying too far from Athelstan's side.
For almost a minute, it was quiet. Athelstan looked around, taking in the space before he turned back to Ecbert. "I am . . . confused," he admitted. "Whose chambers are these?"
Ecbert smiled, stepping closer and laying his hand over Athelstan's shoulder. "My friend, they are yours," he revealed, adding after a few seconds, "and your wife's, if you wish."
Athelstan felt his mouth open, but no words came out. He stared at the King for far longer than he wanted, not knowing what to say but somehow understanding.
Before he could respond, Ecbert spoke again. "I have also arranged for you and your wife to have a modest home nearby so that you may continue your work as it is so important to you. And your wife may also come with you. From what you've told me, I believe she would like to see all you have accomplished in such a short time."
Still, Athelstan could not speak, looking around and knowing he would have never been given a room like this a year ago. Ecbert had been lavishing attention on him for the last six months, and this display was the largest by far. His intentions were plain, and for even the slightest of seconds, Athelstan thought about what it would be like for him and Lilith to have a place like this with their daughter. When he looked at Ecbert again, the man was smiling like he knew what Athelstan would say. He tried to speak, but Ecbert stopped him.
"Do not decide now," the King insisted, taking Athelstan's shoulder again and gently touching his chest. "Just think about it, and we'll talk later when this is all behind us."
He left Athelstan there without another word, but everything he wanted to say was left hanging in the air behind him.
It would take a day for Ecbert to arrange the money and to gather Rollo where he would be able to make the journey. In that time, Athelstan's mind was made up. He would go anywhere Lilith went, wherever that was. He knew she would want to go back to Kattegat because it was their home, so if that was her wish, he would grant it.
One thing Athelstan had to do before he left the villa, even if the prospect of returning still existed, was to make sure that Margaret and Aethelwyn were taken care of. He knew the only other person in the villa who would understand his intentions was Judith, so he would go to her. First, he had to see and talk these two women whose presence in his life had not been expected but was nonetheless just as important as anyone else he had come to care for.
Explaining to the guard where he wanted to stop on his way to his own room wasn't easy, but thankfully, the young soldier didn't argue, guiding him to the dormitory in the chapel where Margaret stayed.
Margaret answered her door in her nightgown, confused as to who was knocking on her door and then surprised when she saw who it was. "Athelstan?" she said softly.
"I need to speak to you," he said as nonchalantly as he could, side-eyeing the young guard. "About Aethelwyn. I apologize for the hour, but I wanted to do this before tomorrow."
Blessedly, it took her no time to understand his meaning, and she lifted her gaze to the guard. "It's all right, Tan. I'll see him to his room."
The young man hesitated a couple of seconds before he bowed his head slightly and left. "My lady."
She bowed her head as well, waiting until the guard was well down the hall to grab Athelstan's hand and pull him into her room. She glanced into the hall, making sure no one was there before she closed the door and faced him.
"What's wrong?" she demanded. "It's almost midnight."
He did nothing to hide his only intention for being there. "I'm leaving," he said as soon as she asked.
Her reaction was immediate as she stood up straight and folded her arms over her chest. "When?" she asked him.
"Whenever they take Rollo back to the camp," he answered. "It will take some time for the money to be gathered. Probably two days. When they are ready, I will go with them. I have to. I have to go back."
Though she was silent a moment, she accepted what he said quickly. "Is it safe?" she asked.
Athelstan exhaled sharply. "At this point, I don't think I care," he confessed.
She stammered a little. "But if it isn't safe, then shouldn't you — "
"She's here, Margaret," he exclaimed, and she jumped a little, startled. He pushed out another breath and sat down at the table near her bed. "My wife is here. Now. In Ragnar's camp, and she's brought our child with her. I cannot stay in the villa if she is with Ragnar now. I have to go to her."
She moved to his side slowly, sitting beside him as quietly as she could. "How do you know she will not want to stay here?"
"I don't," he admitted. "But even if she chose that, it wouldn't matter. I won't have her here in the villa where Ecbert can treat her as he has treated me. Or you."
His insinuation caused her to sit up straight away from him, and for a minute, Athelstan felt horrible for even mentioning it. After she had told him, the opinion he'd had of the king had only solidified from caution to dread even if Ecbert had never expressed anything but intrigue and gratitude toward Athelstan.
He reached for Margaret's hand, meaning to comfort her as he continued. "This does not mean you will have to do anything with Aethelwyn alone. I'm going to speak with Judith tomorrow, and I know she will understand. I want you both to be safe."
She sighed softly. "What will you tell Aethelwyn? She is still so fragile, and Sister Agnes is not helping."
Athelstan shook his head. "I do not know," he said and sighed himself. "I was hoping you would help me. She is still upset over what I did the other day."
"As she should be," Margaret teased even though she smiled a little and squeezed his hand. "But I suppose we should both prepare her. And surely, this will not be the last time we see each other. Since I have already heard how the negotiations went well."
He took a deep breath, held it a few seconds and then released it as he was prone to do with Ecbert sometimes. "One can only hope," he agreed.
Margaret took another breath herself, rising slowly as she spoke. "Well, let me get my shoes and my cloak, and we will go now. Best not to dawdle."
Athelstan thought of protesting, if anything to get a good night's sleep before he spoke to Judith, but instead, he stood up and waited, taking one of the candles in her room so they could walk further into the villa where Aethelwyn's chambers were.
Because Aethelwyn had never taken her vows and therefore wasn't a postulate or a nun, King Ecbert had seen to give her chambers in the villa apart from those in the chapel. He had still assigned a guard to her for her protection, but like Athelstan, she was allowed to go wherever she wanted.
So when Athelstan and Margaret arrived at her room and discovered the guard gone, it wasn't too difficult to guess that not only was Aethelwyn not in her room, but she was more than likely in the one place she usually went when she was upset. Instead of finding another guard to accompany them, Athelstan and Margaret walked on through the villa to the stables, finding the guard that was watching their charge at the side door.
He saw them before they were in front of him, bowing his head politely. "My lady," he said and eyed Athelstan suspiciously. "Sir?"
"It's all right, Sigmund," Margaret said. "I'll bring her back to her room."
He hesitated, gripping the hilt of his sword as he still watched Athelstan, but then he turned and left, allowing them entry to the stables.
The torches still burned at each stall despite the late hour, and again, while most of the stalls were closed, one was standing open. Athelstan sighed softly, glancing back at Margaret and bowing his head slightly. She understood, holding her cloak around her tighter and nodding as she remained at the side door. Once that was done, he stepped into the building and slowly made his way to where she always was.
Finding her horse folded on the ground of the stall did not surprise Athelstan, since the animal had grown accustomed to Aethelwyn's presence in just a short amount of time. What did surprise him was the fact that she was currently laying naked on the stallion's back. It was only the second or third time in the last month that it had happened, and it was moments like these that truly tested Athelstan's resolve to not only keep his wedding vows but also maintain her innocence even now that she was already eighteen.
The blanket on the door provided Athelstan a means to cover her up, and he tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear to wake her up.
"Aethelwyn, it's me. We need to get you back inside."
She stirred after a few seconds, seeing him there and reaching back for him sleepily. Athelstan sighed heavily, lifting her to sit up and wrapping the blanket around her so he could stand with her in his arms. Though he had gotten used to doing this, it was still unsettling anytime he had to do it.
When Margaret saw them coming out of the stables, she only sighed and hurried into the stables to retrieve Aethelwyn's night gown and then follow him back to their charge's chambers in the villa.
Aethelwyn woke further the closer they got to her room, holding onto him tighter as he did the same.
"Sometimes, I wish I hadn't told you about Kattegat," he whispered to her. "This is not a good place for you to go around without your clothes, especially when you have a guard watching you."
"Most of the guards are afraid of me already," she reminded him. She didn't say anything else, sighing as he walked and seeming to know what they would talk about once they made it back to her room.
The corridor outside her room was blessedly vacant when they arrived, and Margaret opened the door for them before they all stepped inside so Aethelwyn could put her night gown back on. Once that was done, Athelstan sat her down on her bed.
"I need you to listen to me, Aethelwyn," he said softly. "I know the last few days have been trying for us all. And I wish I could stay and help you adjust to it. But I am leaving. I have discovered that my wife is here now, and she's brought our child with her. I have to go to her, and I hope she will forgive me." He paused and took her hands in his, waiting for her to look at him before he continued. "You won't be alone. Margaret will look after you, and I will speak to Judith. I know she will understand and know how to help Margaret. And who knows? Perhaps I will return."
She sighed softly, glancing at Margaret and then putting her head down again. "I know I cannot say anything to change your mind," she said sadly. "No matter how much I want to. So I will pray for your safety, and I will pray for hers as well. And since I cannot keep you here, I will only make one demand of you."
Athelstan grinned despite himself. "And what might that be?" he inquired curiously.
"When you do come back, promise me you will not have forgotten me," she pleaded. "And promise me I won't have to wait long for that to happen."
He inhaled as deeply as he could, wrapping his arm around her shoulders even as he still held her other hand in his. "I will never forget you, Aethelwyn," he swore. "Whatever forces transpired to bring us together meant for us to always been in each other's hearts, and you have a place in mine now forever." He paused again, glancing at Margaret and not wanting to make a promise he couldn't keep. "The negotiations between Ragnar and the king have resulted in a settlement for the northern people and their kin. So Ragnar will undoubtedly want to return to check on its progress. I could always return with him. And don't forget what I said the other day. Better spirits. Hmm?"
The smile on her face appeared and disappeared quickly, and Athelstan sighed again, holding her closer.
"I must also ask both of you to keep an eye out for Peregrine and the little ones," he requested. "It doesn't seem like she needs me anymore, but all the same."
Aethelwyn nodded with her head still on his shoulder, and that at least made him less worried about the foreseeable future.
"We all need to get some rest," Margaret said as she moved in to help Athelstan to his feet. She gave him a pointed look before sitting down in front of Aethelwyn. "And you listen to me as well, dear girl. Whether Athelstan returns or not, we both still have our own lives to get on with, and I'm going to do everything in my power to keep you as safe as I can. I will speak to the king, and he will agree that your safety should be more important now more than ever. And Judith will also help us, I'm sure."
Quietly, Aethelwyn nodded, and Margaret held her closer, kissing her forehead.
She glanced at Athelstan and nodded to the door. "You should go get some rest," she told him. "You have much to do tomorrow."
Athelstan sighed as he stood watching them, bowing his head slightly before he left as quietly as he could. The corridor was still vacant, and he breathed a sigh of relief before turning toward the chapel since his room was on the other side of it. He made it there without anyone seeing him, and he was glad for it as he undressed to his pants and lay in his bed for what could be the last time.
Only a few hours passed before Athelstan realized he couldn't sleep, thinking about what he would say to Judith so she would know how important this was to him. They had only spoken extensively a few times since she had come to the villa and married Aethelwulf, but of what they had spoken, she seemed to genuinely care for the people less fortunate than herself. He was certain she would understand, and he hoped she would know enough not to say anything to the king.
Whereas the majority of the villa had been dark and quiet the night before, the morning light illuminated every corner one could possibly hide within. Athelstan wasn't going to have to hide this time, moving through the villa to the gardens where he knew Judith was prone to stay before going to morning mass. He found her there with a book from the library, only bringing attention to himself when he was close enough to call to her.
"Princess," he said, and she looked up to see him there. "Judith."
The smile on her face was a welcome one. "Athelstan," she nodded. She put her book away and gestured to the spot beside her. "What brings you to the gardens this morning?"
"I have actually come to speak to you, My lady. About a young girl I believe we have both become invested in during these last months."
Though her smile did not fade, she bowed her head. "You mean Aethelwyn."
"I do," he admitted. "I regret that I must ask you a favor, and I'm afraid I cannot trust anyone else besides you and Margaret to do this for me."
"What is it that you need?" she shook her head. "And why must you ask me?"
Taking a deep breath, Athelstan started over again. "I'm sure you are aware that negotiations have gone well between Ecbert and the Northmen. There is to be a settlement for them here, and in exchange for them fighting for the king rather than against him, he has agreed to have peace with them. And my friend, Rollo, is being taken back to their camp once everything is arranged." He paused and looked around, making sure it was only the two of them. "And I am going with him. I'm leaving with them. And I need someone to look after Aethelwyn."
Judith remained silent as he spoke, only reacting when he finished. "Are you sure that's safe?" she asked, much like Margaret had. "Will they not harm you at the first opportunity?"
Athelstan shook his head then. "I do not believe so, no. My – My wife is with them now, and she has brought our child with her. I have to go to her. And as I said to Margaret and Aethelwyn, Ragnar will return to see about the settlement. Perhaps I will come with him. There's always the possibility that I will return. And I need Aethelwyn and even Margaret to be safe. You will be able to do that, will you not?"
She lowered her eyes to the book in her hands, quiet a moment before she spoke again. "The King doesn't know of your plans, does he?"
"No," Athelstan answered simply.
"And you do not plan to return here once they have delivered your friend?"
He huffed, leaning forward with his hands clasped together. "I do not."
Again, she was quiet. Then she spoke. "Well, then I suppose I will spend what time I can reassuring Aethelwyn of your safety and hope that we will one day see one another again. Especially since I am still learning to navigate this world myself."
Athelstan glanced back at her, waiting for her to look at him before he spoke again. "I know you'll do your best."
She leaned forward herself, laying her hand over both of his. "I understand why you're leaving, Athelstan. You should be with your wife and child. I promise that I will do everything in my power to keep Aethelwyn and Margaret safe. I'll have my hands full with my own child, but I'll do what I can."
It took him a moment to realize what she said, and he sat up to face her, laying his other hand over hers as well. "You're with child?" he clarified, and she nodded. "That's wonderful!"
She laughed softly. "The abbess and I discovered it just this morning. Aethelwulf will be so pleased. As I'm sure my father will be as well."
Athelstan sighed. "Well, you should be happy. A baby is always a blessing. That's what Lili's mother and step-mother always said. I'm happy for you, Judith."
Judith bowed her head again. "Thank you, Athelstan."
The weight that had been pulling at his shoulders let up considerably with this knowledge, and he took another deep breath, glancing around again before he let go of her hand so he could stand up. "I suppose I should leave you to your thoughts then. I will pray for you, and your child. And thank you for doing this, for me and for Aethelwyn."
She bowed her head slightly. "It's the least I can do. I will pray for you as well."
He bowed as well, turning to leave when she called back to him.
"Good luck!"
Athelstan smiled then and tipped his chin up, leaving as quietly as he could.
Once he was back in his room, Athelstan took stock of everything around him, knowing exactly what he would need. He packed what he could without anyone noticing, almost filling a saddlebag before the following morning when they would return to Ragnar's camp. Whatever happened next was no longer up to anyone except him and Lilith.
Though he was reluctant, when Athelstan insisted on going with Rollo to ensure he was taken care of on the journey, Ecbert was unable to give a good reason to keep him from it, especially with Aethelwulf watching from a few feet away.
"Be safe, my friend," he said and nodded. "We will speak when you return."
Athelstan only nodded, following Aethelwulf away from the villa to ride alongside the cart that carried Rollo and the money. When they were a good distance away, Athelstan looked over his shoulder, seeing Ecbert still there and knowing he would never look at the King the same as he had the first time they had met.
The road was as bumpy leaving the villa as it had been coming back from the battle field just a few days earlier, and the jostling woke Rollo as he lay inside the cart covered by a heavy fur. Athelstan stayed close to the cart, watching his friend open his eyes before he heard him speak softly.
"Hvert erum við að fara?" he asked, looking up at Athelstan.
For maybe a minute, it was quiet as Athelstan looked around at the men accompanying them and then forward at Aethelwulf who had either not heard Rollo or wasn't paying attention because he wasn't speaking a language he could understand. When no one reacted, Athelstan smiled and looked at Rollo.
"Heim," he replied simply.
The instant Rollo heard him say that, he laughed weakly. It wasn't the loud, boisterous sound Athelstan was accustomed to, but it was enough.
For the second time, Athelstan approached the camp cautiously, but this time, it wasn't for the same reasons. And despite the wet weather, nearly everyone in the camp was standing outside, some of them with their weapons and cloaks on their backs. These men would be staying in Wessex as part of the agreement between Ragnar and Ecbert.
Once the exchange between Rollo and Ælle was made, and as the men who would be staying left the barracks to walk back to the villa, Athelstan stayed back, scanning the crowd like he had before and looking for the same face he had the first time. He watched Bjorn and Ragnar take Rollo inside the camp, spotting Lagertha and Floki as they joined the rest of their family to a dry place. Then, in the back of the camp, he saw her. She was standing alone at first, just inside the largest tent furthest away from the barracks. After almost a minute, Gyda came out to stand behind her.
That was all Athelstan needed to see.
The last man walked passed him before he looked back at Aethelwulf. "My Lord Aethelwulf," he called and the prince turned to him. "I must ask a favor of you."
Curiously, Aethelwulf strode up beside him. "Yes?"
Slowly, Athelstan reached under his cloak, unclasping the chain around his neck and then handing it to the prince. "Please return this to the King," he said, waiting until it was in Aethelwulf's hand to speak again. "Tell him I won't be needing it anymore."
With that, Athelstan smiled and kicked his horse back toward the camp, safely inside the barracks before he climbed off the horse and turned back to watch the prince leave the clearing along with the rest of the men with him. Once he was out of sight, Athelstan couldn't exhale loudly enough, glancing around him and spotting Torstein just a few feet away.
"Well, it's about damn time," the older man said and laughed, stepping forward and embracing Athelstan for the first time ever. "I thought we would never get you back. And honestly, I'm glad, my friend. Your wife has been damn near impossible without you beside her."
Athelstan laughed as well, leaning back a little and really looking at Torstein. "You've gotten older, Torstein," he teased.
Torstein cupped the back of his head, shaking him gently and then nudging him on to where the person he wanted most was waiting. "Go on," he urged. "Some other people need to see you more than I do."
The brief reunion bolstered Athelstan's confidence as he moved through the camp, passing a few smiling faces and glancing back to where Rollo had been taken before he finally arrived at the tent furthest away from the barracks. His heart leapt into his throat without warning, and he clenched his hands into fists to keep them from shaking.
He had waited for this moment for a year, and now that it was here, he was terrified. What was he supposed to say? What if she was angry with him? Angrier than she had been before they were married.
He moved to step inside the tent but was stopped when the flap flew back and revealed Gyda there by herself. For a moment, neither of them spoke, and he feared she might not forgive him either. But then she smiled and stepped forward to embrace him the same way Torstein had.
"Oh, I have missed you so much," she cried.
Athelstan held Gyda in his arms for the first time in a year, remembering the last time he had and thanking whatever gods or God there was for giving him this moment. "I missed you," he whispered.
She cradled his head, squeezing him before she leaned back to look at him. "We will have time to catch up later," she assured him. Then she stepped out of the entrance to the tent. "You go on and be with her. You have missed so much."
Though he didn't want Gyda to leave, he watched her go before he turned back to the tent to discover her there alone. He stood as still as he could, not wanting her to disappear like she had in his dreams, and she didn't move either, even as she looked over him from his head to his feet.
Everything else faded away. In this moment, nothing else mattered.
"Lili," he pleaded, "I – "
"I need you to give me two very good reasons why I should let you inside this tent," she demanded. "Because once I do, I'm not letting you go anywhere else without me ever again."
He took a deep breath, unclenching his fists before he spoke. "I am so sorry I left you, Lili. I swore I never would, and I broke that promise, and I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you. And I will never let anyone take me away from you ever again. And I – "
She didn't let him finish, grabbing his hands and pulling him to her, kissing him for the first time in twelve months and wrapping her arms around him so securely that it would take Thor himself to rip him away from her.
Athelstan still remembered that morning before he had left, remembered how she had felt in his arms and how she'd held him not knowing they were about to spend the next year apart or endure the most difficult experiences of their lives. He wanted to take all of it back. He wanted to go back to that morning and decide not to go. No longer did he care about what anyone would have said or done. He only cared that he'd missed what should have been the most important moment of his life. He knew he couldn't go back, but he knew someone would answer for it. Someone had to.
When Lilith leaned away from him, her hold on him did not diminish. She wrapped her arms around him further, cradling his head as she whispered against his lips.
"I have been dreaming of this for so long," she admitted. "I had many other dreams as well, but this. I knew this day would come. I wanted it so badly that I would not listen to anyone when they said you were not alive. And now you are here, and I am never letting you leave me again."
Athelstan reciprocated her feelings easily, leaning back enough so he could hold her face between his hands. "I will never leave you again," he swore. "For as long as I live, and then after that. You are now, and always have been the most important thing in my life, and I will spend the rest of it proving it to you and making up for every bit of lost time we've had. I don't ever want to give you a reason to doubt that ever again."
Her smile was all he needed to see to know she believed him, and he leaned in to kiss her just as she whispered.
"Before we do that," she said and stepped back to take his hands in hers, "there is someone here who has been waiting to meet you for far too long. Come."
She pulled him into the tent, closing the flap and sitting him down next to a small table. He watched her closely as she moved to a small cradle and reached for the bundle inside. His heart leapt into his throat as she turned to him and revealed their daughter in her arms. He was so nervous that he could barely sit still, waiting impatiently as she sat in front of him and leaned closer to him.
"Athelstan," she said softly. "This is your daughter. I have named her Iðunn, which everyone says is a blessing."
Athelstan instantly thought of the day he had written down the goddess' name in the midst of his writing, and he hadn't understood why for a long time. Now he knew the reason. "I think I knew that a long time ago," he replied.
She moved closer. "Here," she said and nodded to him. "You should hold your daughter."
He lifted his arms easily, cradling hers as she lay the babe in her arms inside them. The memories of holding Lilith in his arms came rushing back, and he gazed at his daughter knowing he would love her and care for her for the rest of her life, just as he had with her mother. "Lili," he whispered. He bowed his head, kissing his daughter's head gently. "She's beautiful. Just like her mother."
"And her father," Lilith whispered.
Athelstan looked at her as she watched him, lifting his hand to her face and kissing her like he had before. Slowly, their kiss deepened, taking his breath away for the first time in too long and igniting the same fire inside him that it had since before they had been married. Lilith lifted her hand to his, grasping onto his cloak with her other hand so tightly that it was clear she wanted it gone. She leaned back one last time, taking his hand in hers, and for a moment, he thought she might make him put their daughter down so she could take him to their bed. Instead, she turned his palm up so she could see the circular scar in the middle as it bisected the wound Lagertha had given him five years earlier.
Even after being in Ecbert's court for the last year and surrounded by constant reminders of his ordeal, Athelstan had never felt embarrassed by the marks on his hands or his feet. Once they had stopped hurting, he had done everything in his power to not think of them when he didn't have to. But sitting with Lilith now as she held his hand and knew what had happened just by looking at it, Athelstan was embarrassed.
"Is he responsible for this?" she asked, and he knew who she meant.
"No," he assured her. "He saved me. Though I came to realize why very quickly. Lili, I — "
"Are the two of you decent still?" Ragnar shouted into the tent before he could say anymore.
Athelstan sighed heavily as Lilith stood up, still holding his hand as she called back to him.
"Yes, Father. What is it?"
Ragnar stepped into the tent hesitantly, looking at them both before he spoke. "Before the two of you become too . . . involved, I need to speak with Athelstan on an important matter. We will be leaving tomorrow, and I want to know this before then."
Reluctantly, Athelstan stood up to face Lilith, laying their daughter in her arms and facing Ragnar as the man pulled him to the corner of the tent.
"Forgive me for interrupting," Ragnar pleaded. "I know all you wish in this moment is to be with your wife and your child. But I must know before we leave for the sake of our family, about what really happened with King Horik after I left you here with him."
Athelstan sighed, standing a little taller. "What do you want to know?" he asked.
Ragnar glanced at Lilith before he spoke. "The King was very insistent that he was never able to make negotiations with Ecbert because he was betrayed, by you," he explained. Athelstan almost immediately tried to deny that, but Ragnar stopped him, taking his shoulder gently. "Do not worry, my friend. I know you would never do such a thing, but I must know, what did King Horik do after I left?"
"Nothing," Athelstan answered as plainly as he could. "Well, one of his scouts found a parsonage not far from camp, and he decided to raid it. They captured some of the people there, and they took the gold from the church. But it was a week after you left before he even mentioned going back to Ecbert to further any talks you had begun. And he balked any time I inquired as to when it would happen. I don't think he meant to negotiate at all. And then we were ambushed, and everyone was killed. But I — "
The words got stuck in his throat even as he thought them, not wanting to believe something so traitorous that he had likely been blamed for. Of course Horik would call Athelstan a traitor. The group of people who believed and trusted Athelstan had always been a small one, but everyone else was always quick to cast doubt upon him for one reason or another, just as Floki always had.
Ragnar eased closer, lowering his voice. "Do not be afraid to voice your thoughts, Athelstan. You are a part of my family. I will never silence you for any reason. Whatever you're thinking, tell me."
After a minute, Athelstan spoke carefully. "I was always grateful that I survived," he began. "But after some time, I realized that I was allowed to survive. Everyone else was killed when they attacked us. But I wasn't in the camp when it happened. I was out with a hunting party. And only our scouts knew where we had gone. I can't say for certain if Horik was responsible or not. I've had a long time to think about this, and I don't see how Ecbert could have done it after how you spoke of him. And he was always surprised that you left when you did. Why would he attack us when there were so few of us left?"
The low growl that emerged from Ragnar's chest surprised Athelstan, but he knew the expression on his face. He had seen it many times for only one reason. After Earl Haraldson had attacked them and killed Erik all those years ago, Ragnar had looked like this. After Ragnar had returned from Götland and told them about Jarl Borg, he had looked like this. It wasn't just anger. It was fury.
Before Athelstan could speak again, Ragnar took a deep breath and collected himself, speaking instead.
"You have confirmed many of my own suspicions," he said. "And now I know what I will need to do to protect us in the future. For now, I will leave you to the care of my daughter." He paused and grinned slightly. "You should thank all the gods for blessing you with her love. She never doubted you. And neither did I."
Ragnar stepped forward and embraced Athelstan as completely as he ever had. "I know I will be thanking the gods for blessing me with you both."
It was quiet as they stood there. Athelstan couldn't believe how stunned he was at Ragnar's words, but he was only grateful as he always had been.
"All right, that's enough," Lilith said and moved closer to them. "You will both have plenty of time to catch up on the way home. It is late, and I have many things I wish to discuss with my husband." She looked up at Ragnar. "You wait outside."
"For what?" he demanded even as he smiled.
"You will see," she said and nudged him out of the tent.
Once he was gone, Lilith turned to Athelstan and unclasped his cloak. After that was gone, she undid the belt around his waist and pulled his jerkin and then his tunic up over his head to remove it. Athelstan tried not to smile when she tugged on his pants and pushed them and his boots off as well, standing in front of her naked before she shoved the clothes through the flap without opening it.
"We're not going to be taking him back with us naked, are we?" Ragnar teased without looking inside the tent.
Lilith stuck her head out of the flap. "Just go. I brought some of your old clothes for him."
"And what am I to do with these?"
She shrugged. "Burn them for all I care. Now shoo."
That was the last thing she said before she faced Athelstan again. "Come. The first thing I am doing is giving you a bath."
He didn't argue with her. Whatever she wanted to do was just fine with him. Just the thought of leaving with her was enough to fill his heart with more happiness than he'd felt in a year.
Two translations (from my nifty translator):
"Hvert erum við að fara?" — Where are we going? - Icelandic
"Heim." — Home - Icelandic
While the next chapter of the story is written, I'm still working on the last one, and quite a lot happens. So I want it to be right.
I'm going to try and post the next chapter next week, but we'll see.
(I've become obsessed with another AU, so I might need you to send help!)
Until next time!