I'm taking next week off, but please let me know what you think of this Chapter!
How? How could all of these things of happened to Starfire and she still let Blackfire into her life?
It was horrifying to see all these things in multifolds. I hadn't realized how much weight Starfire gained on Earth since she looked healthy normal now. She needed to gain it, from how sharp her bones were sticking out of her skin. Then she was so obviously malnutritioned and small. I never had a definite timeline with Starfire's captivity since I knew she was traded from ships and had made a few escape attempts. Though she looked close to this when I first met her which meant this was near the end of her time.
She had mentioned the diamond encrusted whips, but she hadn't mentioned her own sister used it against her. I was grateful to Canary for muting the sound when the first bit of screams started. It made what little crepes I had in my stomach roll. I was starting to feel sick when she grasped my thumb for what felt like anchor as I watched Blackfire stab her in a different scene and kick her when she fell forward. It switched to Blackfire holding one of those shocking prods stabbed directly in her spine and while the sound was muted her mouth was open it a scream.
I felt her hand lose contact with mine as I heard a hard thump. Starfire had collapsed onto the table and did not look like she was doing well. My first action was to see if she was too hot for me to touch and when she came back cold, I knew it was a bad sign. I couldn't see her breathing which I now knew it wasn't as big of a deal for her, but combining it did not help. Canary, Flash, and Batman were still watching the footage where Blackfire ripped a Lantern in half. Though Jo'nn and Green Lantern had noticed Starfire going down. I saw Green Lantern fiddle with his ring as if he didn't know what to do. Jo'nn was staring at her intently until he suddenly sprang back away. That got everyone's attention on him and then onto Starfire. I was busy trying to see if I could feel a pulse as she got colder. It was weak, but I felt a dull beat.
"What happened?" Canary asked and leapt over to the table so she was now on my side where we flipped Starfire over. Her eyes were open wide in horror, but when I waved my hand her variated green iris's did not follow. That was not great.
"I think this is some sort of reaction, though I don't know exactly how to snap her out of it." This was not exactly something that I wanted to happen during the interview, but it certainly beat her other reaction…
"You okay, Jo'nn?" This was Green Lantern. He had clutched the table as well and seemed to be sweating.
"No." He said shortly and put a hand to his forehead. "Neither is she. She is on fire."
"Most of the time she is on fire, it's literal." I stated as I kept a hand on her cheek trying to see if she was any warmer. Her hair was out and her face looked ashen. The lack of blinking and glass green eyes made her look…unalive.
"Her mind is mimicking the pain of the events we just witnessed, in true intensity." He said and sat down. He looked like he was going through it.
"So her mind thinks she's being tortured?" Batman asked and I did catch concern in his tone. I knew he wasn't particularly pro-alien, but he didn't want to watch someone be in pain. It sometimes felt it with his training and personality, but Batman wasn't a true sadist.
"We can't leave her like that." Canary said and I agreed.
"Her entire body, her nerves are firing and reacting. When I reached into her head I felt a knife drive into my eye, I tried communicating, but it is mostly screaming." Jo'nn said and phased through a variety of forms. I assumed they were people from her past as I did not recognize them, but they were clearly not human. I didn't know who they were, she didn't have pictures from her past.
"Let's turn this off then." Flash said as the track of my girlfriend's sister's ruthlessness was still going. He moved so he was on our side, performing the checks I had done. "Does she normally have a pulse?"
"Does she normally do this?" Batman asked and I felt worse since I didn't know. I had only become recently aware of the extent of her issues with her memories and phantom pains.
"I haven't seen her react this way, normally she just isolates safely from people. Though I assume this is a strategy to be protective." There would have been no time to escape the Watch Tower. "She also has advanced control of her heart rate through training." Though when I went back I struggled to find it. "Starfire." I asked hoping she would just wake up at the sound of her name. I was worried more about whether she was going to be okay than the meeting at the moment.
"Her mind is still active, though it is wrong. It should not be doing what it is doing."Jo'nn said and settled on his natural form. He still looked terrible and had the most expression I had seen from him.
"What can we do?" Canary asked it took me a moment to realize she was asking me. Touch was what she said helped her stay in the present though she was already in the past. I didn't want to keep her trapped in her own head waiting it out. I remembered how at the club when she was out of it drugged that the shock had brought her back to herself.
"She will wake up with an electrical shock. Though she might be combative when she wakes up." I knew she hadn't hit me when I did it, but she had communicated not enjoying it. I didn't know how she would react, though I was preparing for worst case.
"Disarm her first, then use these." Batman said and tossed me a couple charges. I hadn't realized in her other hand she was still holding the R-rang I had given her to play with to settle her nerves. I wasn't entirely sure she would let me take it from her, but her hand was locked in one position and it let me slide it forward. "Hal get ready to subdue this one doesn't have a kryptonite." I was hoping that it wouldn't be necessary, but saw Green Lantern hold up his ring ready to throw up a barrier or bubble. Canary had taken a couple steps back and the Flash had become perpendicular to me looking prepared to knock me out of the way.
"I communicated what we were doing, hopefully she understood." Jo'nn said and that made me feel a great deal better. At least she had some form of warning.
"Starfire, please wake up." I said hoping she'd just listen to me, but her eyes stayed glassy. I'm sorry. I threw the stunning charges tossing them so they would land near her heart. I saw the mini-bolts light showing they had worked, but she did not move. Panic started to really take me, that should of worked. "Starfire, wake up now!" I said and shook her a little bit when I saw the bolts fade completely. She should of woken up.
"Maybe the charges were not powerful enough." This time it was Flash, he was rubbing his hands quickly and I knew he was creating a charge of his own. He went back towards Batman's side. "I don't want to shock you too kid." He said and I let her go. Though I did not move too far away. I knew I was the best chance at difusing her if something happened. Better to be the first thing she saw. Green lantern was standing by ready for whatever happened.
"Well here goes nothing." Flash said and grasped her temples. It was only for a moment as her hair began to ignite and a scream flared out of her throat. It was haunting since it sounded like a human and cat at the same time and spoke volunmes of what she was feeling. She shook wildly. I had to clasp my ears as everyone besides Canary did the same. Then it died as the did the flames as she did not move except to close her eyes. Though I started to see her chest rise and fall with breaths. She started hoarsly muttering something, but her words were not English. I went closer though no one departed from their defensive positions. Green Lantern's ring lit as I got closer and suddenly I could understand her words.
"A princess must put her people first, always. A princess must put her people first, always." She had said that same phrase when we had talked about her giving up her dream of being a healer. She must have had the same mantra to help her endure.
"Starfire, it's okay." I said finally getting close enough. I didn't touch her, but I leant over the table so she could see me. She blinked a couple times as if she was testing if I was real.
"always…Robin?" She asked and brought a hand up to my face in what felt like slow motion. Her fingers fanned across my face delicately then drug down. Her eyes were feral as they darted side to side noting we were not alone. Suddenly I was tucked in against her with her hair falling over me like a blanket. I hadn't realized she had moved that fast. I couldn't see her face, but the growl I felt as I was tucked beneath her chin.
"Princess we mean you no harm." This was Green Lanterns voice trying to come out even and level. Though it was poor timing as Green Arrow and Hawkgirl burst into the room weapons drawn.
"We heard screaming, what's wrong?" Hawkgirl asked and I wished I was able to see, but I was held tight behind my red curtain. One of her arms had locked me from shoulder to hip and another was free.
"We sort of accidentally tortured Starfire during her Terran card interview, we're still figuring it out." This was Flash who was sounding nervous and shaky fast in his tone.
"Stand down." This was Batman and I didn't know if it was to her or others, but whatever it was not going to score us any points. I decided to intervene again, tugging on her hair as much as I could.
"Starfire..can't…breathe." I could she wasn't crushing me by any means, but I needed to be able to be released and continue to defuse the situation. Her head tilted and she whipped her hair away and released my torso grabbing my hand instead. She was holding a chair where everyone else was still pointing some sort of weapon at her. I still didn't want to place any bets here. "Hey, you're safe. You don't need the chair." I said reaching up and touching her face so she would break her staring match with Batman. My whispers worked and the chair fell to the ground with a large bam. She released my hand and put them down on the table. It was a surrender motion, which made Hawkgirl and Green Arrow lower their weapons.
"Safe?" She asked her voice hoarse and broken from her scream. She looked over at the room and then at me her eyes filling with betrayal as Batman threw magnetic cuffs on her.
"Are you okay, Princess?" This was Jo'nn and while I knew she hated her title, it seemed like the name fit.
"No. Please do not hurt me further, I do not like it." She said and her eyes went to The Flash whose face could not hide it. Her voice was going in and out raw from that scream.
"We aren't trying to hurt you Starfire." This came from Canary who was taking some gentle steps.
"I know." She said and then she cracked her neck. She normally only did that when she was going to take off the kid gloves. "I understand." She said as if she understood the secrets of the universe and was just watching it go over our heads.
"I'm sorry for not considering my actions." This was Green Lantern who was coming up with the resolve.
"I'm sorry for shooting you with 40,000 volts." This was Flash joining in. She nodded and a faltering smile took her face.
"Thank you, it is the okay. You meant no harm and I know that." She seemed empty in her tone. Though it was hard when her voice was obviously wrecked.
"Your mind is still not right, Starfire." This was Jo'nn and he took the bravest step and clasped her forehead.
"The electrity was disorienting, but I am aware of where I am, who I am." She said the last part with enough power that I believed her.
"Well if we aren't needed." Green Arrow said taking the cue that it was too crowded in here. He gave Black Canary a kiss on the cheek and both him and Hawkgirl wlaked out, Flash showing every sign he wanted to bolt with them.
"What did they do?" He asked her and she gave a dark chuckle that I never wanted to hear again.
"I am an unfinished project, I will never know, entirely. I just can make sure that these are not used for their original purpose." She let a starbolt build in her hand and let it flicker out.
"What was your original purpose?" I couldn't help but ask. She looked at me for the first time since she had been chained to the table.
"Horror." She said and I saw a quiver in her lip. "If my sister is a threat, what they wanted me to become was a true monster."
"Well, you're not a monster." This was The Flash stepping up. He had an overflowing binder produced from wherever it was stored. "On Earth you're a hero and plenty of people believe that. These are just from important people, but thousands of letters came in to support your tenure. You've proved yourself otherwise to people on Earth. I haven't met you, sure wish it was under better circumstances now, but you seem to be good at your job." Flash was in charge of Super PR which made him part of this. I knew her public opinion was helpful though her episode didn't fill me with confidence this would be as easy.
"Thank you." She said and it was likely something to put her head on right.
"Starfire would you agree to seeing a therapist and neurologist if we renewed your card? I think it would make everyone in this room feel better, and most importantly yourself. " Black Canary said being very gentle in her tone. She was putting a reasonable ultimatium on the table. Though I saw Starfire stiffen before breaking forward to lean more of her weight on the table
"I will need someone to cover my protection over the city, I have not explored that option since my powers would be potentially disabled. Though I will agree." She said with some confidence, but her voice was just so crackling.
"I don't wish to cause any more harm than I have today and I think removing you from Earth would do that. You are not like most Tamaranians I have met." Green Lantern said. I didn't know exactly what that meant.
"I know." She said in a wheeze. Though it was not warm, I could tell Hal was trying to pay her a compliment.
"I cannot forget what happened here. Do you really have the control needed to make sure no one on your team gets hurt? That Earth is truly a safer place with you on it?" Batman was asking the questions I knew he would. Did he know about the prophecy?
"Yes I have the control and while knowing the future is not my ability. I would give everything I can offer to make sure Earth remains safe."
"You'd give everything to two planets? That leaves you stretched thin." He was trying to find her in a hole of her own making.
"Can you not love two things at once? I love Earth and Tamaran and would give my life to protect either. Is that not good enough? Is that not what heroes do?" I was proud of her answer.
"This world may not be ours originally, but it does not mean we are less willing to protect it. Perhaps we are more so since we know what happens when planets fall. If she proves otherwise than we can have this conversation again, but so far her actions to protect her city and elsewhere have not." I was happy that Jo'nn was bringing up her actions as a hero which had been accomplished.
"Robin you're with her most, what is your opinion?" This came from Flash who seemed to trying to give me a way to add to the snowball of support.
"Starfire is more human than me most days and I would have a hard time finding a replacement of her skill and will." I could say that with enough confidence. I was starting to have doubts in my head of what she was capable of hiding. Though I knew I wanted her to stay no matter what. Batman cleared his throat, but he didn't say anything.
"I thank you for your kind words. Though will accept any outcome deemed appropriate." She rose to full height and did a bow. "May I please get some water?" Her raw voice had been hard to hear and I wondered how I hadn't just handled that.
"Honeyed tea would be better." Black Canary said and I knew she would have the experience with remedies for a sore throat. "I know my vote. Come with me, Starfire." She said and moved to a more motherly role coming over to get her. Starfire calmly removed her wrists from the table and removed the cuffs letting them fly back to the nearest metal surface. I had wondered about whether they were actually strong enough to hold her. I guess she had been being polite. She gave me one last look before following her out though it was not a look of confidence.
"Well that wasn't fun." Flash said finally sitting back down.
"Not fun at all." Jo'nn responded. I wondered if struggling with sarcasm was an overall alien thing.
"You're letting your feelings cloud your judgment." Batman said as he turned off the cuffs and retrieved them.
"She's a good hero, feelings or not. She has every reason to be a villain and could take her pain out on everyone else. Instead she works to be one of the best heroes and lifts everyone up. She choses to be a hero even if that conflicts with so much of what she was meant to be." It felt good finally being able to defend her.
"She's unstable." He wasn't wrong.
"She's come a long way. You saw the tapes, she didn't have it easy then. Her only family helped do that to her. I can't even imagine…" I didn't have siblings, but I couldn't imagine having the closest person to me purposely hurting me so deeply and relishing in it.
"Do not. Her mind is not in great condition, but she would not truly harm your ward, Batman. She protected him first when she was unaware of our allyship. She was telling the truth with accepting treatment even though she fears more hands meddling with her mind. She is willing to make sacrifices." Jo'nn said and I wish I had him around more often for his wisdom and insight. It becomes old quickly.
"Any other Tamaranian would have ripped the Flashes arm off for shocking her." Green Lantern said and it would not be a shock if the thought crossed her mind.
"She's shown a lot of restraint in resisting her battle instincts while facing fragile foes." I wanted to add as color left Flash who was fiddling with his attached arm.
"Well glad to be an example. I don't know still she has good reports and publicity, but she's scary. She reminds me of Tigers you see in those shows at the zoo. You're just waiting for one to bite off the hand of it's trainer." The Flash was wary which was fair.
"She won't. Even completely frazzled she didn't strike." Green Lantern said and I wondered what his interactions with Tamaranians had been like.
"I just don't like waiting for a threat to become one." Batman said and I knew his logic.
"If I see it happening, feelings or not, I'll handle it." I hoped I meant it enough for Jo'nn to not call me out. "She has an alternative place if it becomes clear she isn't the right fit for Earth."
"I don't think the permanent card should be on the table and I will hear of no modifications to her contract." Batman said and I knew it was as much ground as he would give.
"I can agree with that." Green Lantern said.
"Your fear is clouding your judgement as well." Jo'nn said to Batman and tilted his head at whatever he thought.
"I think it's okay to take things slow and decide permanent status later on. Just leave me off the board next time." Flash said and seemed uncomfortable still.
"I think we are in consensus." Jo'nn said with finality.
"Shouldn't we wait for Dinah?" Flash asked and Jo'nn shook his head.
"She already told me." Jo'nn said with finality. Well it was happening.
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She was quiet, too quiet as we made our way back home. She hadn't said much beyond thank you to the council and she did end up hugging Jo'nn. She had taken my hand, but I didn't know what to say and she still had a haunted look in her eye so I could not rely upon her for pep. Though I was aware she was using me as a anchor as her thumb traced symbols on my hands. I wished I had more nerves so I could read them.
"Can you teach me Tamaranian?" I said trying to find a segue to normalcy. Her motions stopped and she appraised me for a moment. If Flash's tiger metaphor held up I was certainly the handler that would lose the hand.
"Of course, I have the study materials designed from Cyborg. You might require more time, but I would be happy to teach." Her voice was still not quite right, but it was better. She didn't continue on, but her head came to rest on my shoulder and she sighed. Was I really the best handler? Was I really letting my feelings cloud my judgement?
Batman had pulled me aside to talk. It had not been as welcoming as my last visit, but he had brought my newly improved suit prototypes and a warning that Gotham was quiet. He expected something big was going to go down and to be on call. He hadn't vetoed her card and that was big for him.
"We are ready for you." Came a voice of one of the teleporter techs. We entered the tube and it was moments before I felt a tingle and we were back on the roof of the Tower. She caught me as I stumbled a little on suddenly losing the ground beneath my feet.
"We're home." I said as she let me go. It was a needless statement, but it felt necessary to confirm that for the next year this was guaranteed to be her home. I didn't realize my statement would make her break down in tears, but that is what it got me. I went to catch her as it was her turn to stumble and caught her full weight pressed against me. "It's okay…shush…it's okay." She didn't cry out or shake. It just felt like she had been holding them back and they couldn't be dammed any longer.
"I was so certain…I have never been more happy to be wrong." She said and let me free. "I should cry over my plants, it would be less of a waste of water."
"Are you okay?" I hated asking the question, but I needed her response.
"I don't know, it has been a lot to process. Though I think when that has happened I will be." She said and wiped the tears away and tossed the droplets near her garden.
"I'm here for you." I stated because I wanted to be. I was in for it now being a real boyfriend.
"Thank you, Robin." She said and sighed. "Is it bad I just want to take a nap?" It was nice she was trying to break up the tension.
"I can help with that, let's go inside. Unless you want some time in the sun?" I wasn't sure what to do about mental injuries with her.
"I think we should tell our friends the news, though I may come back out. I should before tonight anyways." She said and groaned. I didn't particularly feel like going tonight as well with how hard the last few days had been. The mission needed to happen, but it wasn't like the start. The momentum had faded, though the new development kept me from skipping.
"I guess I should try on this and maybe give it a test?" I said shifting the bag with my new suits. I knew she was tired, but it really was for the best to give it a true run so I could break it in at least a little.
"Fashion show?" She asked perking up a little. She did seem to enjoy the costume aspect of being a hero.
"Sure, maybe a little test as well?" I didn't know if she was in the mood to spar, but I had seen that as a way of getting her back to normal.
"Of course. Can we tell our friends what we have been up to?" I hadn't gotten around to that in the Watchtower with all that happened.
"I think after tonight we might actually have more to tell them." I just wasn't ready for the backlash falling on me yet.
"It needs to be soon." She said stern in that resolve.
"It will be." I responded and she cocked her head to the side before nodding.
"Let's go inside." Though before we reached the door she grabbed me with some urgency and crushed me to her. Her lips meant mine with ferocity and pleads. It felt more like communication than romance, but I couldn't understand what she was trying to tell me. I kissed her back until, she retracted and put her forehead on mine. " I need you to help me tonight, I am not completely right."
"I'll stay with you." I promised. It was the bets course of action after everything. She nodded and I almost saw the mask of a smile fall onto her face as she completely changed her expression as she called for the fellow Titans. She wrapped Cyborg and Beast Boy in a huge hug and spun them around chatting happily and loudly. I snuck off to my room needing to stash my new suits and was met by a purple post it note in Raven's writing.
It's not her.
That was a relief and a strike since that eliminated the easiest option. I went to go ask her more questions, but there was another note on her door saying she was in New Orleans. Well I guess she deserved a break. Though it would be important to touch base with what she saw. Though that would just have to wait.
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"I think I like this suit more than I should." Starfire said as she delivered another kick across where my kidneys were. The armor was shock absorbing and while a little cumbersome in the first round I was growing more used to it. She seemed to have become more comfortable as we went along and she started to test it's durability. It held up.
"Because you can hit me more?" I asked getting back off the mat. It was taking me a little more effort to bounce back up.
"I like the design, it is quite flattering. Though I am happy you are less injured by my strikes. That is the goal."
"I think you'll like my actual upgrade better, it's blue." She had complimented me in blue multiple times. And I saw her eyes widen a bit.
"Do we have time for me to see it?" We were already in our suits for tonight, minutes away from leaving.
"Eh maybe when we get home." I didn't want to go back up and change. This was harder to get in and out of.
"I will want to leave early then." She said flirtaously and instead of striking she started to tap random parts of the armor making little clinking noises as she did with Control Freak's lightsaber. I wondered what that actually did, if she was actually able to differentate metals and materials by sound. Or was she just fiddling with things.
"Leaving early might be a possibility." She smiled at my response. I didn't want to have her break down again so close to leaving, but I felt she was still hiding how hurt she was of what happened this morning. I wanted to keep her in this lighter mood even if it wasn't as genuine as I suspected. Fake it until you make it, I guess. "Let's get going, I feel better about fighting in this suit now. Thanks"
"I am happy to throw you down on the mat anytime." She switched over to her Ember voice and tied on the mask which had been around her wrist. I grabbed on her braid and gave it a little tug.
"Don't be too cocky. I'm going to get lucky one of these days." I said playing into her flirting, at least it wasn't directed at Red X.
"I hope." She said and moved to pull up my mask. My face had flushed with her implications. I was curious if she knew what she was implying. "I also like you in red." She said and I wasn't sure if she was referring to my Fallen suit or my face. Though as she let out a giggle I assumed it was my face. She placed a kiss of blue lipstick on my cheek before pulling it back down.