LEVI'S P.O.V.

5 MONTHS LATER...

Time in the corps passed pretty quickly after that. the winter passed and spring came, signalling expedition time. They had always been reluctant to go out on missions during the winter due to the high death rates that come with the season change and snow. So, the corps built up their numbers in the time being and trained their soldiers well.

It was roughly a week before the next expedition and tensions were running high. This was a big mission after all. In two days, they were going to attempt to capture their first titan specimen. It doesn't need to be said for everyone to already know that Hanji screamed the HQ down when she finally got her way. Levi still couldn't believe they were actually going through with four-eyes plan. He had a feeling shit was going to go down. And his feelings were normally right.

Training with his squad was going well. Levi pushed them every single day and while some results were disappointing, others were impressive, and he admired their determination. He hadn't heard one complaint about the training schedule, not even when he started waking them up at the crack of dawn for suicide runs.While he could imagine their complaints were long, at least they swallowed them down like a real soldier.

Levi was proud of their improvements with the 3DMG. They were all faster and more confident with the gear. Each member had gotten over 30 titan kills in an allocated time. It wasn't him or Dilan good, but the stats were way over average. Combat was improving too. He still supervised most of their training but when the paperwork started to flood, he passed some sessions over to Dilan. She was as skilled as him after all and he knew she would do him proud.

Things with him and the brat had got relatively back to normal, not that Dilan ever knew he had trouble being around her for a while after his realisation. Of course, while it was 5 months later and he was still embarrassingly in love with his second in command, he had learnt to push down his feelings well enough to behave normally. Sometimes he favoured her unconsciously, but he couldn't help it. Shoving his feelings down constantly, they were sure to appear now and then. It was just something he had to cope with.

Thankfully he hadn't been as jealous lately. While Dilan was close with the squad, she wasn't overly close with Eld, much to Levi's delight, and she spent all her free time hanging out with him instead. She stuck to their deal and talked to him about all her urges as promised. Levi was proud to say she hadn't cut since that dark day on the roof and she hadn't had any more episodes either. A few panic attacks here and there but a trip to the roof did her well and Levi was always there to calm her down.

They had fallen back into a routine, getting up earlier than the others to train together while the sun came up. That was their time to talk if Dilan was struggling with anything and they were able to let go off some steam. After training Dilan had tea with him in his office and they sorted through the paperwork of the day. It was always easier to get through the pile when Dilan was helping out. Although that had been a struggle and a half to start.

It was 3 months ago now when Levi called Dilan into his office. He had done his best to get through most of the paperwork on his own, not wanting to unload any onto Dilan but the truth was he was struggling, and it was in her job description. He gave her a small stack of the easiest forms and asked to her to fill it out for him. Dilan had blinked at it, cringing with embarrassment.

"Brat, what's the purpose of your face?" Levi asked, raising an eyebrow. Dilan looked down, scuffing her shoe slightly.

"I can't... um..." She mumbled and Levi was not amused.

"Fucking spit it out." He urged, needing to get back to work as soon as possible. He was really behind schedule. Dilan huffed, her cheeks heating up a bit.

"I can't read." She forced out the words, refusing to meet Levi's eyes. Levi blinked at her.

"You can't... what?" He said slowly. Dilan looked up to glare at him.

"You heard me perfectly well." Dilan spat. Levi narrowed his eyes.

"Bullshit. You can write so you can read." He countered. Dilan rolled her eyes.

"I can write kind of. Mama P taught me some stuff, but she was pretty shit too. I can read easy words but shit like this..." Dilan paused to pick up a sheet of paper, wrinkling her nose as she looked at the letters. "Something, something, something... Captain Levi... something... and the... something, something... I think that word is Commander?" She furrowed her brows in concentration, but Levi had seen enough, snatching the paper back.

"I have a feeling you were going to go on. You've proven your point, you're an idiot." He sighed, rubbing his face. Dilan frowned.

"I'm not an idiot, Levi! I got no fucking education and I know you didn't either. Who taught you then, huh?" She crossed her arms. She had a point there.

"Taught myself." He shrugged. "I had no other choice."

"Exactly. Don't bash me, because you've been where I have too." She hissed and turned to leave. Levi felt slightly guilty and stopped her before she could.

"Brat, wait." He said and Dilan stopped. "I'm sorry, okay? Just... come sit down." Levi said in a gentler tone. Dilan looked at him sceptically.

"...why?" She questioned. Levi rolled his eyes.

"So, I can teach you of course. I'm still loaded so I'll have to work while I do it. You'll learn as we go, deal?" Levi offered. He tried hard to ignore how his heart warmed as Dilan cracked a wide smile and bounded back over, dropping down in the armchair.

"Deal!" She grinned. Levi bit back a smile.

"Try reading it out to me again but actually try to pronounce the words you don't know. I promise I'll laugh in my head, not out loud." He teased and Dilan shot him a glare.

"Thanks a lot." She said dryly and Levi smirked, continuing to fill out forms as Dilan started reading, Levi correcting her along the way.

3 months later and Dilan was great at both reading and writing. She still got stuck on a few words here and there, but Levi helped her out with them, and Dilan stored it in her memory. Despite what Levi was always telling her, Dilan was far from idiot status. She was a great student and Levi knew this because anyone else and he would have gotten frustrated real fast, not that he didn't have his snappy moments. But that was mostly just his personality. Perhaps he just enjoyed the sessions because it gave him another excuse to spend time with her, but he decided not to dive into that rather painful rabbit hole.

Levi had tried various methods to get over her. He drank. It didn't work. He trained. It didn't work. He even went into Sina one night and hooked up with some girl at a pub. The memory was hazy thanks to the alcohol that made him go through with it, but he regretted it the moment it was over. Sure, it felt good in the moment, but she wasn't Dilan and he just felt empty after, knowing he would never have Dilan. Knowing he would never get to tell her how he feels.

In short, it was just really fucking depressing and he hadn't been on one of those trips since. Thankfully, the girl hadn't recognised him. That would have been an embarrassing situation to explain to Erwin had the girl gone public telling people she slept with humanities strongest. It made Levi cringe with regret just thinking about it.

The annoying thing is that with attraction and pushing down feelings they start erupting when you finally let yourself go to sleep. Not that Levi managed to do that often anyway, but he had been having a few annoying dreams about Dilan. Most of them thankfully stopped at them making out but in one of them they went all the way. He woke up sweating and painfully hard. Safe to say he had never hated himself more and he preferred to sleep the least amount of time possible nowadays.

The worst part was, if Dilan knew about any of this, she would be horrified and probably never talk to him again. That's the one thing he couldn't let happen. While it was hard to be her friend, he knew it would feel like torture to separate himself from her completely. God, love is fucking annoying.

"Hey Levi?" Dilan asked, cutting him out of his pissed off musings. They had been doing paperwork for a while. Levi on one side of the desk, Dilan in the armchair on the other side. Levi looked up to her.

"Yeah?" Dilan licked her lips as she thought of what she was trying to say, and Levi tried to ignore how attractive it was. Are you trying to fucking kill me, brat?

"Well, you're going into the underground tomorrow, right? To give the money to Cas?" Dilan asked and Levi refocused his attention away from Dilan's lips.

"Yeah. Why?" He still looked after the orphanage with his and Dilan's paycheck. He could afford putting a large sum in with his new promotion, as could Dilan, so he only had to visit once every month now, instead of every week.

"I was hoping... maybe I could come with?" She asked, orange eyes bright with hope. Levi frowned slightly in thought. Erwin wouldn't want her to go, she was technically still forbidden. But it had been well over a year now. He couldn't see the harm if Levi was with her.

"Sure. As long as we don't tell Erwin and keep out of trouble." Levi shrugged and Dilan's eyes lit up in excitement.

"Really?!" She asked excitedly. Levi had stopped trying to ignore how his heart warmed by now. He would do anything to make her smile like that.

"Yep. But I mean it brat, no trouble. The underground seems to have something against us." Levi mused and Dilan laughed.

"You could say that again. I can't wait to see the kids!" She grinned, getting back to the documents. Levi smiled subconsciously, doing the same.

"Oi! Gin! Get your head out of your ass and attack back. She's crushing you." Levi scolded as he watched the pair fight. Training had been going on for a while now and Levi was making sure everyone got a go against each other. Right now, it was Petra and Eld and the last fight before lunch. It was obvious the blonde was holding back, allowing Petra to get the advantage.

"I don't-" Eld ducked out of the way of a fist. "Want to-" Dodged a roundhouse kick. "Hurt her- fuck!" Petra sent a right hook straight to the side of his head, twisting on her heel and booting him in the stomach, sending the tall blonde into the dirt.

"Hell yes!" Dilan grinned, giving the worn-out Petra a high five. The girl had definitely gotten better, but Levi had the strong suspicion Dilan had been giving her lessons on the downlow. He wouldn't be surprised; the pair had grown quite close. Levi sighed and looked down at Eld with disappointment.

"Holding back will get you nowhere. It's a waste of your time, Ral's time and my time. 5 laps. Now." Levi ordered.

"Yes sir." Eld winced, standing up and starting to jog round the perimeter. Petra cringed.

"I didn't go too, far did I?" She asked Dilan.

"No way. We're not trying to make friends here, remember. We're trying to make you into elites. Putting in any less than maximum effort is fucking stupid and like the Captain said, a waste of everyone's time." Dilan shrugged. Levi nodded in agreement. The brat said it well.

"You impressed me today, Ral. Keep it up." Levi said briefly before walking away. He didn't need to see the girl blush. That still happened a lot and it was honestly rather annoying. But he gave praise when it was well deserved.

DILAN'S P.O.V.

Dilan watched with amusement as Petra turned beat red and waited until Levi was around the corner before completely exploding.

"Did you hear that Dil?! Did you hear what he said!?" She grinned, shaking Dilan's shoulders. Dilan laughed, rolling her eyes.

She may have been wrong about the whole Petra crush thing and how it would fade after a while. The girl had told her a month ago, that she was full on in love with the Captain. Dilan had no idea how it happened but it's not like she could dismiss the girl's feelings as unreal. She hadn't told Levi though. She had made a promise to Petra.

"He never tells us well done." Gunther grumbled and Stacy huffed. Dilan laughed, going behind them to slap Gunther on the back and ruffle Stacy's hair.

"That's because your both shit." She pointed out and Petra burst out laughing as both of the furious teenagers turned around to glare at her.

"HEY!" They yelled in unison. Dilan smirked. She always thought Stacy and Gunther were rather similar. They were only a year apart in age, Stacy being 16 and Gunther being 17, after all and they had become pretty good friends in the last 5 months. If Dilan was right, and she normally was, she was pretty sure there was something between them. It was obvious and rather adorable.

"It's only because you've been giving Petra extra lessons!" Stacy hissed. Dilan rolled her eyes at the kid.

"I offered those secret lessons to all you shits. But you declined because you didn't want to 'waste' your precious free time. Petra was the only one smart enough to accept." Dilan smirked, throwing an arm around Petra's shoulder. Petra laughed at the others annoyed faces. Eld jogged up to them as he finished his fifth lap, sweating a bit. Their stamina had indeed improved after all the suicide runs. 3 out of 4 of them did throw up on their first go.

"Actually..." Eld took a moment to catch his breath. "I accepted your offer and you turned me down, if you remember." Eld pointed out. Dilan guessed that was true.

"Yeah well you were decent enough already and I wanted to put my full attention on Petra. Don't pout, Green. You'll get to her level one day." Dilan grinned as Eld glared at her and Petra laughed again.

"Come on, let's go and get some lunch." She suggested.

"Only if greenie cooks?" Dilan teased and everyone looked at Eld with puppy dog eyes. He sighed in annoyance.

"Fine." He grumbled and the group cheered.

10 minutes later and the group were sitting around the table, eating lunch that Eld had generously provided them. Dilan had delivered Levi's to his office telling him he better eat it or she'll shove it up his ass. Her friend gave her a furious glare for that comment, but Dilan knew it had gotten through.

The group were discussing the next expedition, Dilan was testing them all on the formations Levi had given them to memorise when they heard a knock on the door. Dilan blinked at it, wondering who it was. They rarely ever got knocks that weren't from cadets informing them of messages.

Dilan stood up and walked towards it, her eyes widened as she opened the door and she was met with Hanji, Moblit... and Mike. Mike who she hadn't seen for roughly a year now. Mike who she hadn't seen since that fateful day the squad died in front of her eyes. His squad. The squad Dilan had failed to protect.

"YOU KILLED MY FAMILY!" She screeched as she dealt the final deadly blow and steam exploded, the mangled titan body falling limp, surrounded by her dead friends. Dilan dropped to her knees, letting go of her blades that were slick with blood, both the titans and her own where she had held the controls so tightly, they had dug into her skin. She breathed heavily as sobs escaped her mouth and her head dropped down. I'm so sorry guys. I'm so sorry, I'm sorry. It's all my fault!

"Woah, Dil are you okay?" Hanji asked, steadying her with hands on her shoulders as Dilan swayed slightly.

"Dilan?" Eld questioned and the others came over to see if she was okay.

"You're as white as a sheet, are you sick?" Petra asked kindly, feeling her forehead. Dilan swallowed hard, not having the energy to reply.

"She's fine." Levi's deep voice snapped her out of it and Dilan took a shaky breath, thanking god, he decided to show up before Dilan ended up doing something stupid like passing out. "Can you go sort out those files I was talking to you about earlier?" Levi asked in his normal monotoned voice and Dilan calmed down a bit at the escape Levi was offering her. There were no files to sort out, they both knew full well Levi was constantly organised.

"Yes sir." She managed to force out the words, walking away from the worried people's gazes to shut herself behind Levi's office door, sighing in relief and trying to control the pounding in her head as she fell into an armchair and brought her knees up to her chest. Shit. Not now.

She hadn't had an urge to cut like this in a long time. She was finally getting better. Dilan froze as her glossy eyes fell on a letter opener on Levi's desk. She picked it up with a shaky hand, ghosting her fingers over the sharp metal edge.

The door opening and closing made her jump and she nicked herself on the sharp edge before turning to meet Levi's steel eyes.

"Brat... give me the blade." Levi said sternly but not unkindly, stepping closer and holding out his hand. Dilan swallowed.

"YOU KILLED MY FAMILY!"

Dilan's breath hitched as she tried to get the horrible memory out of her head.

"I-I don't want to." She muttered, looking at the drop of blood running down her hand from the small cut on her finger. They both knew Levi could take it from her easily but they both knew he wouldn't. Levi sighed and got closer, kneeling down so they were eye level, taking her hands in his.

"Yes, you do, you worked so hard." Levi persuaded and Dilan bit her lip, wanting to listen to him. "You haven't done anything yet. It's okay." He continued and Dilan flicked her glossy orange eyes down to the blade.

"But it hurts..." She whispered, a rogue tear dripping down her face, landing onto Levi's hand. He smiled sadly in understanding, gently wiping the tear off of her face.

"It's okay to feel pain. It's not okay to punish yourself. Remember?" Levi convinced. Dilan sniffed, looking down as Levi put his hand around the bladed end. "If you hurt yourself, I have to hurt myself too. That was the deal." Levi reminded gently.

A few months back when Dilan was struggling to stop Levi had told her from now on, if she cut, he would to. The idea horrified her, and she tried to convince him out of it, but Levi was a stubborn bastard. To his merit, it worked. Dilan hadn't cut since, knowing her friend was a man of his word and she didn't want to hurt him. It was a good motivator to stop and she appreciated how much support he gave her through all of it.

Dilan's breath hitched as Levi intentionally nicked himself with the blade, creating a little cut on the tip of his finger like Dilan had and she quickly let go of the blade. Levi sighed in relief and moved it away from her. She breathed out shakily, staring at the floor with wide eyes.

She had almost gone back so easily. Dilan looked up at Levi's face as he knelt down in front of her and cleaned the blood off of her hand with a cloth.

"I'm sorry." she said quietly. Dilan hated that Levi was always having to take care of her. He had enough on his plate as it is.

"Don't be. You didn't give in, I'm proud of you for that." Levi replied genuinely. Dilan cracked a tired smile. The man was way too good to her.

"Not like you gave me much of a choice, ass." She mentioned and Levi chuckled quietly.

"That's the point." He smirked, cleaning the blood off of his own hand. Dilan looked at him with regret, guilt twisting in her stomach.

She hurt him.

"Dilan." Levi cut her out of it, squeezing her hand gently. "We're both fine." He reassured and Dilan took a breath, nodding in understanding. "Seeing Mike brought it back then?" Levi asked carefully. Dilan sighed and nodded.

"Yeah... all of it." She admitted.

"How are you feeling now?" Levi asked, concern in his grey eyes. Dilan smiled reassuringly.

"Better. Thanks for being here." She squeezed his hand back as a thanks and Dilan thought she could almost see a splash of pink on her friend's cheeks before he looked away and stood up.

"No problem, brat. We should probably get back out there though. They're worried about you." Levi explained. Dilan nodded, standing too and grabbing the tray of food that, surprisingly, Levi had eaten. "Will you be okay?" Levi asked. Dilan smiled and nodded.

"The shock of seeing him is over. I'll be fine. Don't worry, grumps." She smirked, earning herself a glare but she left the room before Levi could retort.

LEVI'S P.O.V.

Levi watched Dilan leave with a shaky sigh. It didn't happen much but during those times when she wasn't herself it really hurt his heart. Especially when he had to emotionally blackmail her to stop by threatening to cut himself. He hated seeing the guilt in Dilan's eyes, but a bit of guilt was better than another scar on her body.

Thankfully it hadn't gotten that far yet. Dilan hadn't come that close to cutting for a long time. Apparently seeing Mike really fucked her up. It makes sense considering he was the only survivor of the attack besides herself. Dilan had told Levi that the only reason she didn't give in and just let the titan kill her was because she still had Mike to protect. That was a terrifying thought. If Mike had died in the crash like Toby did, Dilan might not be alive right now.

Levi blinked out of the depressing thoughts and shook his head. She was alive right now. They were both alive. Levi took a breath, wiping the blood off his letter opener and hiding it in a desk draw in case Dilan had to escape back in here. It was stupid to forget he had a blade in here, but he wouldn't dwell on that now.

The others were probably wondering what happened. He told them he had something to sort out, but that excuse won't last for long. Hanji and Mike were the only ones that knew he was comforting Dilan. Levi raked a hand through his hair before leaving his office and walking towards the kitchen where people were unsurprisingly fussing over the girl.

"Maybe you should lie down." Petra suggested.

"Yeah, that's a good idea." Stacy added. Dilan chuckled.

"I'm fine, really. I just got lightheaded for a moment. Stop being stupid." She smiled reassuringly as Hanji came over to engulf the girl in a hug.

"My baby girl, I haven't seen you in so long! You look thin have you been eating well! You must take care of yourself Dil!" Hanji rambled while squeezing the life out of her friend.

"Hanji." Dilan wheezed, needing air but Hanji continued to spew words at an unnatural pace.

"Um... section commander..." Moblit tried to interrupt but Hanji wasn't having it. Levi rolled his eyes and was about to grab the crazy shit, but Mike got there first.

"Hanji, I think that's quite enough." Mike said firmly.

"Huh?" Hanji asked.

"The girl needs air." Mike reminded with a chuckle and Hanji gasped.

"Oh goodness, I'm sorry Dilan!" She cringed, letting go. Dilan took a few deep breaths but laughed anyway.

"It's cool. You think I'd be used to your hugs now." She chuckled and Hanji cackled.

"Dil you are so cute!" She squealed, hugging her again. Levi rolled his eyes before turning to Mike.

"So, your back then." He crossed his arms. Mike smiled.

"Yeah, I won't be joining the next expedition but I'm getting a new squad assigned soon. Thanks for handling my paperwork while I was away, Captain." Mike teased. Levi glared at him.

"None of that shit." He warned and Mike chuckled, nodding. Levi turned back to the squad who were standing there awkwardly. "Oi, get outside and make yourself useful. Lunch is over." Levi ordered and the squad were quick to salute their superiors before running outside leaving only four old friends remaining.

"You've got quite a good control over them." Mike said, impressed, sitting down at the kitchen table. Hanji let go of Dilan and laughed loudly.

"I wouldn't expect any less from this intimidating shorty." She smirked as Levi glared at her and everyone else sat down too. Levi checked on Dilan to see how she was doing. She seemed normal but Levi could tell she was avoiding Mike's eyes like the plague.

"Dilan." Mike said and Dilan reluctantly met his gaze.

"Yes sir?" She asked quietly and Levi wanted to help her, but he didn't know how.

"I was hoping I could talk to you alone for a minute." Mike said seriously and Levi saw Dilan tense, eyes flicking over to him, practically begging him to stay. Levi opened his mouth to intervene, but Hanji grabbed his arm and started pulling him away.

"Come on Levi, let them have a chat. Two good old friends catching up! We should have a catch up too!" She grinned as she pulled Levi through the front door and slammed it behind them. Levi pushed her away and glared at her.

"Are you fucking blind?! Dilan is not stable right now!" Levi hissed quietly, surprised as Hanji dropped the cheerful façade and walked a bit away from the house so they wouldn't have to whisper. Levi followed, albeit reluctantly.

"Fully aware, Levi. It doesn't take an idiot to work out she started cutting after the squad died. I've been wanting to talk to her for some time but during her state in that 6 months, I didn't think it would get through. Then she came out of it, I assumed she told you and you've been helping her right?" Hanji asked, crossing her arms. Levi blinked at her for a second. Sometimes he forgot how smart this crazy bitch was.

"Yeah. She's been good. Hasn't cut for 5 months but it was a brutal process. Seeing Mike brought it all back." Levi explained, eyes nervously flicking to the front door. Hanji put a hand on his shoulder, giving him a reassuring smile.

"You know I want her to get better as much as you. If I thought what Mike has to stay to her wouldn't help her then I wouldn't have let it happen. Trust me, she needs to hear this." Hanji convinced. Levi took a breath before nodding. He would trust his crazy friend and hope Dilan wasn't struggling too much.

DILAN'S P.O.V.

Dilan watched with dread as Levi was dragged outside, the door slamming behind her and she was left in a room, alone with Mike. Her body seemed to tense subconsciously but she forced herself to look at Mike, trying hard to ignore all the guilt. Mike looked back at her and she couldn't hold his gaze for long, dropping her eyes down to her hands. I'm the reason his squad died. I'll be surprised if he doesn't curse me out right now.

"Dilan." Mike said in a firm tone and Dilan grit her teeth. Here it comes. "I'm sorry." Mike sighed and Dilan blinked. Well she wasn't expecting that. "I read the report." Mike admitted and Dilan bit the inside of her lip.

That report had been hard for her to write. One of the hardest things she ever had to do. Even if all she managed to get it down to be the stone-cold facts, it still killed her to relive it all. Her cutting was terrible those two weeks spent writing it.

"I'm sorry you had to go through what you did. I'm sorry you had to watch them die. I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you all." Mike sighed, rubbing his face and Dilan's eyes widened a fraction understanding Mike's guilt may be as great as her own. "I wish things turned out differently, I wish I had done things differently." He mumbled, seeming to lose focus. Dilan could see why he needed to take a year out now. It had clearly been a difficult pill to swallow.

"Sir, I don't blame you. I blame myself for not protecting them." Dilan admitted and Mike looked shocked at that. Perhaps he expected her to curse him out.

"You were injured." He argued.

"So were you." Dilan shot back and Mike chuckled.

"So, it's no one's fault? I don't like the sound of that." He said honestly. Dilan smiled sadly.

"Neither do I. survivors guilt is fucking annoying." She sighed, relaxing a bit. Mike smiled back.

"Agreed. Maybe sometimes... it's no one's fault. We'll carry them with us, defeat the titans in their name." Mike said firmly and Dilan liked the sound of that.

"I think they'd like that, sir." Dilan nodded in agreement. Mike smiled.

"Call me, Mike. We've been through enough, I'd say." He pointed out and Dilan chuckled. "I'm sorry for misjudging you, Dilan. You're a good person. I wish we could start things over, I wouldn't have been such an..." Mike trailed off trying to find the word.

"Asshole?" Dilan smirked. Mike gave her a playful glare.

"Yes, I suppose. I was an asshole. Forgive me?" He asked. Dilan smiled and nodded.

"I was pretty bitchy too. Start over now, yeah?" She offered, extending a hand. Mike smiled happily and shook it.

"Sounds good."

"AW! OH MY GOD THAT WAS ADORABLE!" Hanji screeched through the door and Dilan laughed, rolling her eyes. Of course, she listened.

"Fucking idiot." Levi's more quiet voice spat, and they heard him smack hanji up the back of the head.

"OW!" Hanji complained. Mike chuckled and shook his head in disbelief.

"A year goes by and they don't change." He mused. Dilan laughed.

"I don't think they ever will. They are both nosy idiots!" Dilan yelled the last bit so they would hear. The door swung open and Levi glared at her.

"Watch it, brat." He warned. Dilan smiled and rolled her eyes as the pair came back in and sat down.

"We're all good then?" Hanji asked with a grin. Dilan and Mike nodded, and Dilan noticed Levi's eyes soften in relief. "Great! Onto our next order of business." She smirked. Dilan tilted her head.

"There's more?" She questioned. Hanji laughed.

"Of course, why do you think I came down here?!"

"Because you are way too involved in all of our lives." Levi deadpanned and Dilan bit back a laugh as Hanji frowned.

"Shut up shorty. I am just the right amount of involved." She proclaimed and Mike chuckled as Levi rolled his eyes. "Anyway, you all know the expedition objective is under supervision of yours truly." Hanji started and Dilan nodded. "Well, I've come here to formally ask for the assistance of Levi squad in capturing my titan!" Hanji grinned. Silence followed as Dilan caught Levi's steel eyes. They were both thinking the same thing. The squad was good, not great. It they were forced into such a dangerous task it was likely one of them wouldn't come back alive.

"What would you have us do? I thought we were stationed in the front centre flank." Levi asked. Hanji nodded.

"Yes, me and Erwin had a talk. He suggested that we just order you and Dilan to help with the capture since you the best soldiers we've got-" Hanji explained, and the three listeners tensed. That worked out so well last time. "-but I told him to shove that plan up his ass." Hanji continued and the three breathed out in relief. Hanji, you goddess! "My task force is well prepared, and I'm pretty convinced I can do this without you but if your squad was present, I think things would go smoother. You won't be on the front lines, simply protecting our back as we capture the titan. You're allowed to decline but I thought I'd ask anyway." Hanji explained and they nodded in understanding.

"Give me a few days, I'll have an answer for you." Levi offered, monotoned. Hanji smiled in approval.

"Brilliant. Well, me and Mike shall leave you to your day then!" She said cheerfully and they all stood up. Dilan laughed as Hanji latched onto her in a hug and Mike and Levi shook hands. After a generously long goodbye on Hanji's part, the pair left, and Dilan and Levi were alone again.

"So..." Dilan sighed, sitting down at the table. Levi hummed and did the same. "Pros and cons?" She suggested. Levi nodded.

"Pro; Hanji's right, things will go smoother." Levi started.

"Con..." Dilan bit at her lip. "Everyone could die." Dilan swallowed. Levi sighed and raked a hand through his hair. Hard to find pros that can overshadow that.

"Pro; if we don't accept Hanji's deal Erwin could order us to go alone." Levi pointed out and Dilan tensed at the mention.

"Con; This is Stacy's first expedition; we'll be throwing her right into the fire. All that noise is sure to stir up a lot of attention, we can't supervise the kills. They'll be taking on more than they can handle, and everyone will die." Dilan circled back around as her pulse sped up and she started to get a little hysterical. Levi rubbed his face, clearly distressed too.

"Pro... we're front centre flank. The squad was always going to have to deal with a lot of titans. This is the special ops, they're supposed to have the best skills. Erwin is not going to waste them, hiding the squad away in a safe part of the formation. It's likely that they might even be safer with Hanji's task force as they'll be more people to help with assists." Levi said logically and Dilan guessed that was true.

"God, there's no good option." Dilan sighed, leaning her head on the table.

"This is the survey corps. No option is good. There are just slightly less shitter ones." He mumbled and Dilan silently agreed, sitting up to look at him.

"Well that's the thing isn't it. There's the option we want to choose to protect them and the option we should choose to help humanity and all that bullshit. Honestly, do you think they are ready? Do you think if we accept Hanji's deal, they will all make it back?" Dilan asked, trying to read his expression. Levi looked her in the eye.

"I do think they are ready... but there's a good chance no matter what we choose, one of them won't make it back. Odds of the first expedition. But we need to be with them to do everything in our power to make sure it doesn't come to that and I don't believe Erwin wont order us to separate in order to get what he wants." Levi said seriously. Dilan guessed she could believe that. The bastard always put the greater good over everyone.

"So, it's agreed." She sighed. Levi nodded.

"We'll defend Hanji's taskforce." He confirmed. Dilan just hoped they would all make it back alive.

It was the end of the day and Dilan and Stacy was laying on the end of Petra's bed, staring at the ceiling. She loved Petra's room. The girl had made it look very homey, not that Dilan had ever had a real home but if she had, she imagined it would look like this. She brought lamps and pillows and decorated it. There were cute little ornaments on the surfaces and tiny bowls that were too small to put anything of use on them. But the girl had made it her own and Dilan loved the vibe in here. Her own room was comforting in its own way since it was her space, but it wasn't nearly as nicely decorated. Dilan imagined Stacy just liked to get away from her mess of a room that she never did end up cleaning.

"I still can't believe the Captain said I impressed him today, guys. I mean I... impressed him." Petra giggled to herself, writing something in her journal as she sat against the headboard. Dilan didn't have to read it to know it was about Levi. The girl was obsessed. Borderline stalker. But she's cute so she pulls it off. The three girls were in their pyjama's, relaxing and listening to Petra vent about Levi. This had become tradition by now.

"How do you know you love him? Sure, the Captains hot but he's not my type, regardless I just don't see him as 'love' material." Stacy shrugged. Dilan frowned slightly, wanting to defend him but the truth was they hadn't seen the Levi she knew. He may be grumpy, but Dilan would say he was 'love' material. Her friend deserved love. More than most people did.

"That's because your focusing on his tough exterior. He cares about people; I think he's a normal guy. He's just been through a lot and needs to put up walls." Petra shrugged, blushing a bit. Dilan's eyes widened at how insanely truthful that was. Petra kind of got him. Maybe she should try and set her and Levi up. Maybe she could make him happy? That's all Dilan wanted for her stubborn ass friend.

"Maybe. I'll agree there's a lot more to people than meets the eye. Sometimes people aren't who they say they are. Sometimes they lie but sometimes they don't have a choice." Stacy mumbled, growing kind of quiet. Dilan sat up a bit to look at the teenager. Dilan had noticed Stacy got like this sometimes. She'd space out and look really confused and guilty. Dilan didn't know what it was about, but she'd always snap out of it eventually.

"Hey Stace?" Dilan asked and Stacy blinked, shaking their head a bit.

"Yeah?" She asked, looking kind of upset. Dilan decided to get her mind off of it.

"While we're talking about boys, what's going on with you and Gunther, huh?" Dilan smirked devilishly and Petra burst out laughing as the girl turned beat red.

"W-what do you mean by that?" She mumbled, averting her eyes. Dilan laughed as Petra tried to compose herself. "What's so funny!?" The teen huffed. Petra snorted and there was silence before the girls burst out laughing again. Stacy sighed in annoyance, crossing her arms. "Fucking annoying."

"Oh, my. I'm sorry honey but... you totally like him." Petra smirked as Stacy's eyes widened to the size of saucers.

"N-no I don't." She protested weakly. Dilan rolled her eyes, ruffling the kid's hair.

"Sure, kid." She said sarcastically. Stacy pouted.

"I-I don't! He's just a friend!" She hissed, slapping the hand away.

"A friend you want to kiss!" Petra said in a singsong tone and Stacy seemed to blush even more.

"WHAT?!" She shrieked and Petra and Dilan burst out laughing again. Stacy growled curses under her breath as she stood up aiming for the door. Dilan grabbed her before she could though, pushing her back on the bed and Petra and Dilan proceeded to tickle torture her. "Oh fuck... stop... please!" She begged between chokes of laughter.

"Admit you like Gunther and we'll stop." Petra offered and Dilan grinned at the evil genius of her friend. Stacy held out before she couldn't take it anymore.

"F... f-fine! I like him!" She gasped for breath as Dilan and Petra finally relented, sharing a victory look before going back to how they were sitting before in silence like nothing had happened. "I hate both of you." Stacy breathed, covering her red face. Dilan snickered and pulled her closer.

"Sure, you do, kid." Dilan chuckled. Stacy's hatred didn't last long as she cuddled into Dilan's side and closed her eyes.

Dilan hung around until both of the girls fell asleep like they usually did and got up, picking up Stacy and moving her under the covers next to Petra, bringing the duvet over them. Stacy may be tall, but she was very light, so it didn't cause her much trouble. The kid normally fell asleep in here, so Petra just let her sleep in here rather than them having to wake Stacy up and take her back to her own room. Dilan turned off all the lamps and shut the curtains before leaving the room and closing the door softly behind her.

Dilan sighed, plodding downstairs. She loved spending time with the girls but having that kind of friendship reminded her of the one she had with Tabitha and it always managed to make her heart ache. She needed a beer tonight. Dilan shivered a bit, hugging herself for warmth. It was pretty cold tonight, even if it was spring now. She was wearing grey sweats, thick white socks and a white jumper.

Dilan got into the dark, grabbing a beer from the cooling rack and taking off the cap, throwing it in the bin. She took a sip, looking out the window and was surprised to see Eld sitting out on the grass, looking up at the stars. Odd. Dilan had never seen him do that before. Dilan opened the door, walking over to him.

"What're ya doing, green?" She asked suddenly making Eld jump. Dilan laughed and sat down a bit away from him. She liked the guys, but they weren't Levi and they didn't have her full trusts yet. Dilan was still cautious when they were alone together. Eld sat up and gave her his famous kind smile.

"A wise person once told me that people never look up these days and that the sky is under appreciated. So, I decided to look up." He shrugged, putting his arms behind his head and laying down again. Dilan chuckled.

"Sounds like a very wise person indeed. How's the view?" She asked, taking a sip of her beer. Eld smiled.

"Amazing. Although I am pretty drunk." He admitted with an 'oops' look. Dilan laughed, leaning her chin on her knees.

"Oh yeah? You don't sound drunk." She pointed out. Eld hummed.

"Yeah well I never sound drunk. I never walk drunk or do 'drunk' things. I normally just say stupid things since I have no filter right now." Eld shrugged. Dilan smirked.

"So, I could ask you questions, and you'd answer honestly?" She probed and Eld rolled his eyes.

"It doesn't really work like that. I kind of just say whatever comes to mind." He explained.

"And what's on your mind right now?" Dilan asked. Eld turned his head to look into her amber eyes.

"Mostly how your kind of beautiful." Eld said honestly. Dilan blushed, not expecting that. Eld chuckled and looked away, sporting a blush of his own. "See, I'll regret that tomorrow." He sighed. Dilan smiled, laying down too.

"I wouldn't regret it if I were you." She shrugged, catching a wide smile from Eld out of the corner of her eye.

A/N: Time skip! Mikes back. Dilan is doing really well with her cutting. Levi is doing really well with pushing down his feelings in public but struggling on the down low. Hanji is hyper as always. Not much has changed in the last 5 months.

Next chapter Dilan will return to the underground with Levi.

Thanks for reading and commenting! I really appreciate it. Stay safe! X