Chapter 33

The choir inside St. Mary's sang the Gregorian Chants softly.

His heart beat within him as he closed his eyes and Sunday Mass proceeded on. Fitzwilliam swallowed as the gentle chants entered his soul and he pressed his lips together. It was the beginning of Lent and the dawn of Ash Wednesday would be upon them but he basked in the moment when he opened his eyes and glanced up at the Statue of Our Blessed Mother. He smiled when he remembered the dream he had that night after Elizabeth had miscarried their baby and he named their baby, Christina Elizabeth Darcy. Her tender eyes spoke a message to him and Fitzwilliam knew that his baby girl was safety home in Heaven with Our Lord as well as Our Blessed Mother.

In his heart, he swallowed he knew that he would be blessed to see her again and when he felt Elizabeth's hand slip into his, the two were kneeling for the preparation of Communion, he glanced down and he knew that she was thinking the same thoughts as him. He felt his throat dry when he remembered how she had accepted the loss of her first baby and it pained him too to know that he, as the father of his baby, also played a role with the loss of his child. He met her eyes and he felt a familiar pain sear through his heart as he thought,

"I feel inclined to blame myself for the loss of my own child," and his heart thumped a beat as he continued, with the Gregorian Chants in the background.

"I as the father held a responsibility for her and now she's gone."

Pressing his lips together, Fitzwilliam felt his wife's hand clasp his and when he noticed that she too swallowed, he knew that she was thinking the same thoughts as he was: she was dwelling on the loss of their baby two weeks before and though the two had made love to each other not too long ago, and with the doctor's permission, Chris felt more inclined to believe that Elizabeth wasn't thinking about if she was possibly pregnant, no, indeed!

"She's no doubt thinking about the loss of our first baby," his hear thought as he glanced over at the Tabernacle where the priest was preparing the altar for Holy Communion. He felt her hands clasp more onto his and he in turn, did the same gesture and as if in response, he felt his throat twist. He hadn't cried since the loss of his baby girl and he had thanked Our Blessed Mother for her life but he was grieving in this moment. As the Gregorian Chants from the choir continued to chant, he closed his eyes as he thought.

"My baby girl! Dear God in Heaven! Take good care of her and let her know that her papa on earth misses her already!"

When he lowered his head in prayer, his heart ached more at the loss of his first baby than of the possibility of conceiving another baby. He felt a hand place itself on his shoulder and gentle squeeze meet his thumping heart when he did this. He knew that she was near him but he couldn't urge the courage to turn to her and return the gesture. He knew that she was suffering the same feelings of having lost their baby girl but Fitzwilliam knew he had to sturdy for Elizabeth but in this moment, as the Gregorian Chants sang on, he couldn't.

His heart ached when the next Gregorian chant was Ubi Caritas, a soft, traditional chant. He couldn't help it and his courage failed him when he swallowed and realized, that his wife's grip squeezed him more when he realized that tears were pouring down his face. Pressing his lips together, Chris swallowed but his throat was dry. He couldn't help it and covering his eyes with his hands, he silently wept.

Either he was dreaming or really crying, Fitzwilliam's heart seared with pain as he cried. He imagined the little girl he'd conceived, through Elizabeth and God, running up to him, in the lawn outside, with her tiny hands reaching out to him, and her smiling expression and those glowing eyes, like those of her mother, and his throat twisted more when he remembered hearing her say.

"Papa!"

The tears poured down her face and he felt Elizabeth's grip tighten more when Father turned and addressed the Congregation in Latin the prelude to Holy Communion. But all Fitzwilliam could see was the face of his baby girl as she exclaimed.

"Papa!"

Fitzwilliam closed the door behind him but his eyes weren't focused on the woman who waited for him on the staircase of Hawkswood. Without speaking a word to her, he removed his hat and allowed Fredrick to take it to its rightful place before he even bothered to glance up and meet Elizabeth's eyes. He knew that she was there at Mass when he had wept the loss of his baby girl but he didn't bother to inform her how he was feeling right now. All he wished was to be left alone and he felt a little embarrassed that he had cried as much as he did at church.

Her lovely gown which was seasoned for the approaching Ash Wednesday and Lent but his heart didn't care what color she was wearing or how the other servants around them were also returning from Mass and resuming their duties around the manor. He swallowed before he softly spoke.

"I want some time alone, Elizabeth."

She nodded.

Inside the hidden passage, two pairs of eyes watched as the couple parted, one upstairs the other outside. He felt a nudge when a voice whispered.

"Notice how distant they are? Well done!"

He crossed his arms and he smirked but it was silent.

"Breaking them apart like that sure was the best thing for me to do," he thought and he was happy with what the maid had done and her reward had been bountiful. He smiled as he concluded.

"Now for the next move!"

"Wake up the two of you!" Fredrick's voice shouted.

Fitzwilliam instantly opened his eyes when he heard the familiar pounding of his brother in law as he banged as hard as he could on the wood of their bedroom doors. Later that night, after he had taken some time to be alone, Fitzwilliam as well as the rest of the household moved along with their what seemed to be "their regular Sunday duties" and time with Our Lord and Our Blessed Mother, and then and much to his surprise, Fitzwilliam was near his wife and caressing her hair and kissing her. But now he threw the covers aside and made a beeline for the doors, as he shouted.

"Fredrick?! Whatever is it?"

When he yanked the door open, Fitzwilliam stood in shock at the sight he saw. Fredrick's clothing was covered in black coal as he exclaimed, out of breath.

"The barn's on fire!"

"What about all the horses?" Fitzwilliam heard Elizabeth's voice cry out.

Within moments, footsteps echoed on the floor and Fitzwilliam opened the door more when he noticed that the other servants were starting to open their doors, all of whom were wearing their night clothes, and while some were wrapping shawls around their shoulders, others were already wearing boots and some cloaks. He felt more like a leader in army when he heard Fredrick exclaim.

"Hurry downstairs everyone! The barn's burning and the horses are inside! I only heard them when I was downstairs!"

"Having a snack no doubt!" one of the women servants answered back but Fitzwilliam didn't allow this to bother him. He felt Elizabeth to his left and he reached out in a protective manner, using his hand to wrap around her shoulder and he spoke.

"Everyone downstairs by Fredrick's cue and Elizabeth?"

He turned and met his wife's eyes as he asked.

"Want to come down?"

He watched as she raised her head before she replied, in a voice he'd never heard before.

"Yes, sir."

The smell of the smoke could be seen a mile away.

As the servants, Fitzwilliam, Elizabeth, and Fredrick rushed outside, the cries of the horses from within could be heard and Fitzwilliam shaded his eyes as he tried to speculate if there was any way that he and the other servants could rush inside and save any of them. The eruption of the flames could be seen from the top of the barn to the bottom and Fitzwilliam heard one of the lady servants cry out.

"There's totally no way anyone can manage to save those creatures!"

"And the smoke's too thick!" Another voice shouted.

Chris turned around and he stood in stunned shock when he witnessed that neighbors from around the manor, had flocked through the gate, which Fredrick had informed him about he had opened and when he peered over towards his brother in law, all Fredrick did was nod as he shouted.

"Alright! Ladies and gentlemen! Has the sheriff be notified?"

"No," one of the neighbors called back. Fitzwilliam could tell that this neighbor knew Fredrick because he answered quickly.

"Your uncle hasn't arrived yet."

"Your uncle?" Chris exclaimed and he met Fredrick's eyes and his brother in law nodded. Chris blinked but didn't have the time to ask another question as Fredrick directed.

"Gather all the buckets you can and see if we can do our best to extinguish this fire!"

"The barn's already bursting into flames! How is going to be possible?!"

"Just pray and trust that we can at least save some of them!" Fredrick shouted over his shoulder as a huge burst of flames erupted from the barn. It took a moment for Chris to realize what was actually happening. He soon found himself in the center of passing bucket after bucket from one person to another, as the they all struggled to do their best to extinguish the fire which had already started to grow and intensify but the cries of the trapped creatures inside could be heard. In the midst of all the commotion, Fitzwilliam had lost track of Elizabeth and he started to search for her after an hour. His heart pounded when he could smell the intensity of the smoke and he knew that fire department wouldn't be arriving in time.

One of his neighbors, whom he'd met not too long ago, had whispered to him, amidst the coals and flames.

"It's pointless to have them try and come to extinguish this, Mr. Darcy; and I'm afraid that we're all too late to save your horses."

He was holding a bucket of water in his hands and this spilled on his clothes as he asked.

"How do you know this?"

"It's simple, Mr. Darcy," was the response. His neighbor gestured with his hand as he replied.

"See there? Inside?"

Fitzwilliam followed the man's pointed finger towards the direction of the barn and he squinted, trying his best to see clearly, as he asked.

"Inside the barn?"

"Yes; I don't need to inform you but when Fredrick hollered as he did and while he was speaking, I glanced over his shoulder and I saw something inside the barn which should be reported to your wife's uncle, Mr. Darcy. It's about the horses; they can't escape because they're already dying from the fire and smoke."

This was the piece of news Chris wished to hear in this moment. He turned to his neighbor.

"Are you suggesting that there's absolutely no hope for my horses?"

Boom!

Suddenly, all eyes peered up and the roof of the barn collapsed and Fitzwilliam's eyes widened as he witnessed this. All those neighbors, who were around the barn, rushed away as fast as they could when this happened and Fredrick, who was in the lead of the bucket passing, shouted.

"Everyone away as fast as you can! Roof's collapsed!"

The odor of the smoke reached Fitzwilliam's nose and he stepped back and his neighbor did the same and the two men dashed away from the burning barn and Fitzwilliam inwardly covered his ears with his hands as he prayed,

"Dear God in Heaven! Those horses! They're gone!"

And it was true. With the acceptance of a man who had lost something of value, Fitzwilliam, his neighbors, his brother in law, and any of their servants rushed away from the burning barn, and only watched in pressed hurt as the roof toppled down and he heard the wines of the horses from inside before all was dramatically silenced. The only sound they could hear was the burning crackling noise of the fire as it mocked them as it ate away the remains of the barn and all that were within. Fitzwilliam pressed his lips together hard and he felt his throat twist and he fisted his right hand but remained silent when he heard murmurs from those around him.

"There goes the barn and everything in it."

"Rest in peace, barn."

"Rest in peace?"

"How could you speak in such a tone?"

"How do you mean?"

"We tried our best to save what we could but the fire happened too quickly."

"And it's not possible that the fire department could have arrived and tried to extinguish it."

"On an evening like this? You know well enough that the men despise rushing out like this."

"And to Hawkswood Manor? That's a completely different story."

"And don't suppose that Charleston's newspaper will have this reported in the paper by tomorrow?"

"Way ahead of you now!"

"Ah! Don't write that down now! You brought that journal with you?!"

Fitzwilliam sighed when he realized that one of his neighbors was part of the local newspaper reporters and he knew that this wouldn't be going finely and he only imagined how the headline would be the following day or the next. He placed his hands on his hips as he thought, shaking his head.

"First the barn burns down and then I have to deal with my barn being reported that it's been burnt?"

He was silent for a moment before another thought entered.

Glancing around, he tried to scan the crowd to see if his wife was there. She wasn't in sight and his heart thumped again. Remembering how she had disappeared during his batting practice, Fitzwilliam turned around to see if Elizabeth was behind him. She had vanished in the crowd when all the commotion had happened but now, she wasn't in sight and his heart pounded. The man next to him seemed to notice this and he took a step forward as he asked,

"Mr. Darcy? Are you scanning the crowd for your wife?"
Fitzwilliam nodded but didn't give a reply as he continued to scan the crowd. The men and women around them, neighbors and servants alike, were all talking to each other and some were even relieved that it was only the barn which was on fire and thankfully, it didn't spread towards the trees or on the lawn to cause any more wreckage; so they heeded little attention to Fitzwilliam as he swallowed, trying his best to spot Elizabeth in the crowd. She wasn't anywhere in sight and his heart beat.

"Where is she?" he asked aloud and his eyes widened.

When he glanced over towards his neighbor, who was actually the doctor, Fitzwilliam asked.

"Doc? Did she enter the burning barn?"

The elderly man's eyes widened as he replied, with a startled jump.

"I hope not!"

"Elizabeth!" Fitzwilliam shouted and he dashed across the lawn and with the doctor on his heels, started to pray harder than he'd ever prayed in his life. He quickened his pace as he thought.

"Dear God in Heaven! Please don't tell me she went in there!"

"Tear it down and make sure that the glass is all over the place!"

He nodded and with his gloved hands, he reached up and soon the portrait was taken away. The two men, glanced around them, before they rushed out of the living room, before they dashed up the stairs and not a soul was in sight.

"Even those two ninny maids were scared when we entered," he thought as he and his comrade entered the second hallway. Before long, they directed their feet in the area where they knew the painting would be set. He held it in his hands and when the other banged open the door, he smirked as he glanced down as he finished.

"Seems as though it doesn't take much to frighten them away and no necessary deaths here!"

He inwardly laughed wickedly as he followed the other inside. The painting was in his hands when he heard the other speak.

"Do it!"

Fitzwilliam sat in the chair before he leaned back and ran his hands through his hair. He couldn't breathe and the smoke had entered his lungs. He found it hard to even inhale as the doctor's voice soothed.

"Mr. Darcy? Just lean forward and cough a little for me."

"She's… where is… she?" he asked but he did as he was told. He felt heart race but he resumed a sitting position and he coughed. The pain was searing and it burned inside; he must have inhaled too much of the smoke as the doctor spoke,

"Cough a little harder, Mr. Darcy."

Cough!

The pain burned inside and he closed his eyes as he leaned back. He ran his hands through his hair when he heard the doctor speak,

"Venturing towards that barn didn't do you any good, Mr. Darcy! Your lungs have suffered some damage tonight and you need to calm yourself down and be peaceful. And you need to be in top fit shape for this week but not now,"

He opened his eyes and met the doctor's eyes as he asked.

"Where is my wife?"