DEAN'S POV
I sat in a chair next to the bed in the little iron room in Bobby's basement, staring down at my brother's face. He looked so calm. Calmer than I'd seen him in over a year. Someone who didn't know him would never suspect that the place where his soul should be there was an empty pit. Well, not exactly empty. It had been filled with dark slimy things with pointy teeth and sharp claws. I sat there keeping silent vigil with my gun in my hand. Not protecting my brother from the world, but to protect the world from him. I know Violet had said that Sam would sleep until Michael returned, but I didn't know if I believed the promise of an Archangel. In my experience all angels were dicks. With the exception of Cas, of course.
I made everyone leave the panic room so I could have some time with my brother and to think. Violet refused to leave, at first. The only way I could get her to leave was to promise to let her know when Michael came back. She was worried about Sam, I knew that. But, I also knew why she was really putting herself in harms way. It was for me. She wanted more from me than I could give and it was killing me. It felt like I was using her feelings for me to get what I wanted, knowing that I would never reciprocate. Was that really what I was doing? I didn't know anymore. I might not be able to love her the way she wants me to, but I would make sure she knew she was loved.
"You humans are funny creatures...", a quiet voice murmured from behind me. I didn't even have to turn around to know who it was. I heaved a heavy sigh, staring down at the chrome plated .45 in my hand.
"How so?", I whispered back. Michael walked up beside me and looked down at the sleeping man.
"You hurt each other over and over again, yet no matter what you do to one another, you will do whatever it takes, even risk your lives, in order to forgive." I chuckled at the truth of his statement. "Why do you do that to yourselves?"
"Because that's what it means to be family", I finally looked up at him and he was looking at me curiously. He looked back over at Sam and his face scrunched up in what looked like pain.
"I...I wish I had that kind of love." He was quiet for so long after that that I didn't know if he would speak again. "I did once." He looked at me and the pain in his eyes made me look away. "I never intended to fall in love with a human. I knew it was forbidden. And even if it wasn't, I had always found your kind to be... beneath me." I looked over at him out of the corner of my eye and could see the sad smile on his face. "For 2 years, I kept what I was a secret from her. Until..." I could hear the emotion in his voice and he had to swallow it back down before he could continue. "Until the day she conceived." He closed his eyes and heaved a heavy sigh. "I knew what that meant for her and I owed it to her to tell her the truth." I looked him full in the face now, puzzled.
"What DID that mean for her?" He looked down at his hands and frowned deeply. When he looked at me again I could tell he didn't want to answer and I instantly regretted asking.
"It meant that she would... not survive the birth." A tear rolled down his cheek and he wiped it away quickly. "And you know what she did?" He chuckled humorlessly. "She kissed me and said everything was going to be OK! But I knew that it wasn't! I knew that she would die and there was nothing I could do to stop it! I had all these powers given to me by my Father, and yet, I couldn't save the life of one human! I told her that it was OK if she didn't want to have the baby, but she wouldn't even entertain the idea. There was no talking her out of it. So, I did the only thing I could. I cast a spell on the unborn child to hide her from those who would seek to harm her or turn her into a weapon. And a spell to suppress her powers for as long as possible. That was all I could do for either of them.
"Hey man, you did the best you could", I said, trying to ease his guilt. His face grew angry and his knuckles turned white from clenching his fists so tightly.
"No, Dean, I didn't", Michael breathed. "I left them, before the baby was born. I couldn't bear to watch her die! I was too much of a coward to stand up and take responsibility for the life that I helped create! Vanessa was the love of my life and I abandoned her just when she needed me the most!" The pain in Michael's voice was gut-wrenching. I had to swallow hard myself to keep back the water works. "After Violet was born, she was sent to live with her aunt and uncle in Ohio. They raised her to believe that they were her parents. I was relieved that she would finally have a family."
"You need to tell her this." I didn't know what he was playing at, but he wasn't going to pawn that responsibility off on me. It was time for him to man up.
"I...I can't! Everyone that she thought loved her has been lying to her all this time. It's bad enough that the man she thought was her father, isn't her father! But, what would it do to her to find out that the woman she loves isn't her mother?" Michael rung his hands with anxiety.
"Violet's a strong girl", I retorted. "She might surprise you." I looked up at him from my chair and he was staring up at the ceiling. "Maybe you should get to know her before you decide what she can and can't handle."
"Will she want to get to know me?", Michael croaked, his voice thick with emotion again. "After everything I've done or will do in the future, will she be able to forgive me?" He looked down at me and his eyes were pleading with me to give him the answer that he wanted. He was going to be sourly disappointed.
"Not if you can't forgive yourself first."