Hey guys, here's an update, I have some fun ideas in mind for the tree part so let's get going
Lloyd watched with his friends as the blobs congregated at the altar, fusing together in a burst of mana. Shadow appeared before them in his true form, scanning the assembled group and nodding.
"Thanks"
"No problem," Lloyd grinned. "Glad to be of help."
Shadow was a spirit of few words, so when it jumped straight to business, Lloyd wasn't that surprised.
"Pact"
"Uh- right! Okay, let's do this," Sheena nodded.
Lloyd put his hands on the hilts of his swords-
"No"
"Wh- oh not this again, come on, Shadow-"
"NO"
Lloyd winced back, feeling pressure behind the word as well as a wave of irritation.
"Fine," he huffed, moving back.
"It's okay, Lloyd, we got this," Genis said.
"Yeah, we can function without you, y'know," Zelos added, twirling his sword about laxly.
"I know, I know, just be careful."
Lloyd move back from the group and sat down, pouting as they engaged Shadow. Why was it Shadow didn't want to fight him? Did he think it wasn't 'fair' like Sylph did, or were they on good terms and he didn't recall? It was frustrating to think about, but Shadow didn't seem to hold any animosity to him.
He watched but only half-focused, mulling over Shadow and wondering what their relationship had been like. There were a lot of people he wished he could remember the past with now, like his time as 'Vill' when he had been traveling with Kratos and Yuan, and…dammit he still couldn't remember. There was the memory talking to Kratos, and that one where Kratos was standing in front of him-
He winced, clutching at his head.
Wait- wait why had he been-
He was on the ground, weak, he couldn't move, he could barely lift his head up to see what was in front of him. Kratos stood with his back to him, there was so much noise in the background, noise in his ears and noise in his head, the entire world was shuddering, straining, thousands of lives were being snuffed out, fighting, blood stained the ground, there was a body on the ground further up, a woman, but he couldn't see her face.
"He's barely holding it together as is!" Kratos snapped. "You can't try and push him like this!"
"Shut up! What good is his help if he can't save her?! He can, he just won't!"
Yuan?
"He said we were friends but he let her die! He's letting her die!" a boy shouted, hysterical and sobbing.
"You know that's not how things work!" Kratos snapped. "The dead don't come back, life cycles one way!"
"If you're going to take his side we'll cut you down too!" Yuan shouted.
"Do you two even hear yourselves?! You need to calm down and think rationally!"
Everyone was dying, the tree was dying, the world was dying, he was dying. If he died, if the world died, everything on it wasn't far behind. He could barely hold it together, he could barely hold a form, he was flickering like a tiny flame about to be snuffed out. He was going to lose his mana, lose his form, he was going to disappear and the world would with him. He needed to do something, he needed a way to survive, he needed to be able to persist, to come back, to heal the world, he needed-
Of course.
He reached out and grabbed Kratos' wrist, the man tensed at his touch and looked back down at him, even more pale than his usual complexion.
"Cenon-"
He forced a smile up at him, feeling his form dissipate as he channeled his mana into the man in front of him.
"I'll be back," he said, trying to reassure him. "Thank you."
He remembered the look of horror on Kratos' face as the world went dark.
"Lloyd!? Lloyd!"
His eyes snapped open, staring up at the concerned faces of his friends, he pushed himself up, a hand to his head as it pounded. So that was how it happened…Kratos had protected him- or tried to- against Yuan and…dammit why couldn't he remember? It was important, it had to be important, and that woman…
"Lloyd…?"
"I'm- fine," he mumbled. "I just- I recalled something rather intense."
His words seemed off- oh. He must've changed during his flashback. Why, though? Maybe he had been so wrapped up in the memory he had changed to mimic it.
"Just give me a minute," he mumbled, closing his eyes.
It was a lot to process, but he had to calm down. He had to clear his head, calm down, and he'd be able to return to 'normal'. But he couldn't, he couldn't focus, his heart was racing, his head was reeling. All he could think about was that blind panic he had been in, the world crumbling around him and his own body crumbling away. There had been so little time, so little time that now he had remembered it it felt so real again. That there was no time, that things were dying, that he had to act- act, act! No, no calm down, things were different right now. There were things that needed to be done, yes, but the world wasn't going to end if he didn't do them right this second. Calm down, calm down…
"Argh!" he gripped his head, grumbling under his beath. "I can't- I can't focus-"
"Lloyd…it's okay," Colette said, gently touching his shoulder. "Just…breathe, don't force it, it's okay."
He tensed but then let out a deep sigh, glancing up at her. With a frown he got to his feet, brushing himself off as he looked them over, then at the altar.
"Did- did you make the pact already? I don't see Shadow anywhere."
"Yeah, we did," Sheena nodded, frowning. "Lloyd…what's wrong?"
"I…I remembered how I- disappeared, before," he bit his lip. "It wasn't…very nice. I guess that's obvious though, huh?"
"Do you need to talk about it?" Raine offered.
"No- not right now, I will, I just need to process it a little," he sighed, rubbing his face. "Thank you, though. Look, let's just get out of the temple for now, yeah?"
Out of habit he went to adjust his swords at his hip, finding nothing there. He frowned and pulled back his gauntlet-covered hand; right, he hadn't changed back yet. Why was it so hard right now? It felt like his head was buzzing, like everything was a blur, overwhelming him, he couldn't discern a thing from anything else.
"I- I'm sorry," he said. "I can't seem to…I can't focus."
"You don't have to apologize," Raine frowned. "You're obviously having difficulty with something, once we get to safety and you tell us what's on your mind I'm sure you'll have more control."
"…Thanks, Professor," he smiled weakly. "I really appreciate it."
He sighed, stretching himself out and then turning toward the stairs.
"Okay, let's get to the surface."
He groaned, mumbling to himself as he stared into the fire. He still hadn't changed back, he had even told them about the memory, and he still hadn't changed back. The others murmured to themselves about what he had told them, too caught up in the development to pay him much mind at the moment.
"I suppose it's nothing that shocking," Raine was saying. "We knew Cenon disappeared during the war and that Yuan and Kratos were involved. What he said about Kratos makes sense for why he was- well, born, but it does lend suspicion to whether or not we can trust Yuan anymore."
"It was a long time ago, right?" Zelos shrugged. "He already tried being our enemy beforehand, I dunno, I think he's on our side…for the time being anyway."
"What I want to know is how they managed to beat Cenon like that." Sheena frowned.
"They wouldn't have been able to, not normally," he spoke up. "But the tree had died and mana was being sucked away by the magitech used in the war. I wasn't able to keep up a stable form."
"Huh, you're stable right now though," Zelos rose a brow.
"I didn't have a physical form I could rely on back then," he shook his head. "The mana that's here and my physical body keep me here."
He sighed, rising to his feet and brushing himself off.
"I'm not changing back," he muttered. "I don't know why, it hasn't lasted this long before."
"You said you couldn't focus earlier," Colette frowned. "Maybe you just need some more time to calm down?"
"Or maybe you just need to relax, I take it you're tense?" Raine suggested.
"…Maybe," he bit his lip. "Yes, I'd say that's a possibility, I just need to take some time."
"We need to set up camp for the night anyway, let's all get some rest."
Lloyd nodded but his mind was elsewhere. That woman and the boy…who were they? He couldn't place it, it was important though, it was so important and he couldn't remember why.