Chapter 34 – Mr. Cullen's Office

Edward's POV:

I remembered something after Miss Swan and I began to play again. 317 has a dark side…like me.

I had seen her a few times before…on the ledge…in my car…when she suffers and is in pain, either physical or mental…the bitch side of her comes out. It goes right back away again once she recovers. My inner self recognized that and now wants to hang out with her. I could not compel Miss Swan to let that door open. I would have to use hypnosis…or something…maybe while she sleeps. That could work. I didn't want to lose the obedient, sweet 317. No. I really love that side of her. But if I could have the other part of her in addition to the submissive Bella…now that would be awesome.

It would take a bit of time but I have nothing but time.

All her life she's been told she's not good at this, she's not good at that…and she's been repressed, told to be a good girl, a cop's daughter. To behave and be polite. I would have to undo 17 years of bad conditioning…and that was no problem.

But I'd have to be a little harder on her during punishment time. I already find myself feeling a tad sorry for her as I'm disciplining her. And I can't have that. So, I give my darker side a little freedom to get involved and do the punishing. I still hold him back a bit…but I wonder if 317 notices a difference there. I know during oral sex she doesn't like it when he's too rough. He loves to gag and choke them, he loves the sounds and the exhausted looks in their eyes as they try to keep up and please him properly.

When 317 gives ME oral, I let her do anything she likes and I have an amazing orgasm from it. Hell, I beg her not to stop. It's the one time in over 200 years I've asked a girl for anything like that.

Playing with her in the heat was a lot of fun. She didn't care for that at all. But fuck did she look sexy all shiny and sweaty, her hair wet as I whipped her, the mist of her perspiration flying into the air and all around me. The scent was fucking unreal…her sexual arousal, the pheromones, mixed with her hot blood. I was still researching the problem with Miss Swan's blood and I would keep looking until I found the answer. She was so solemn whenever I brought it up, remembering that I called her blood shit. I can never unring that bell. I should've never said that. It was beyond cruel. It's not her fault that her blood hurts me, and I never wanted her to think that. But I'm sure she does, even though I said I never meant any of that crap I said that day. It's impossible to heal a wound so well that it's like brand new…forgotten.

I reached out to a doctor friend of mine from long ago. He emailed back and suggested I try injecting Miss Swan with different drugs to see if that changes the effect of the blood. Then I'd have to take a taste and see what happens. Or have another vampire take that chance.

I'm not doing that. It would be dangerous for both of us. Not to mention despicable, to do that to her. My doctor friend means well…but he's getting old now. I think he's about 83 years old. Bummer. He'll be dead soon. I really should make some new acquaintances just in case I need them later.

I know a couple of witches but I really don't want to contact them again. They love to fuck with me but then they try to cast spells and shit on me. It was annoying and not very interesting for me to hang out with them for long.

If I really needed something desperately, I could call them but only then would I even consider it. It's just not worth the hassle. And if they found out that I was fond of a human girl…Miss Swan could get hurt. Even my "friends" are not very fond of me, since I was always a bad friend to THEM.

I still have other avenues to explore, other scientists that were assisting me in this little dilemma. Money motivates humans to work very hard. It would be alright in time. I kept telling her that but she still seemed sad about it.

Once I administered some punishment to 317, I took care of her and let her fall asleep in my arms. I kissed her little eyes as she dreamed and watched her sleep with a very pleased smile on her face. I was confident that she enjoyed everything we did because first, I read her journal. I asked questions, I listened, I am a very involved Dominant.

Getting to know her is key in knowing what she would love, what she wouldn't…what lines not to cross…what areas were alright. And then, there's my training. I have her familiar with positions before I just tie her up and start whipping her. Then she writes in the journal and tells me what she liked, what she didn't like about them. I remember everything. It's like being in a class…the class of 317. And I'm a very thorough student as well as teacher.

And if I ever did make a mistake and she was really freaking out, I would know it in her heart rate, her breathing, her voice, her scent. I know damn well when she begs sometimes it's just because it turns her on more to beg me and to have me coldly say no and continue my torments upon her. And I do love it when she begs. But also, I love it when she screams back at me. It does something inside me.

I know. It's a mother thing. My mother used to scream at me sometimes. Thank you Dr. Freud. But it's more than that. It's like my inner demon has found his mate as well when that voice comes out of her. Together the four of us make a very weird but complete little family. I just have to get Dark 317 to hang around. Miss Swan keeps locking her up. I let my boy come out and play sometimes and it makes him happy enough to let me do my stuff with Miss Swan. Like the way I'm holding her right now as she sleeps, giving a little adorable snore and I restrain myself from laughing.

She loves to be held. I'll have to do this more. I want her to feel loved. Am I already screwing this thing up ? Maybe I should write a journal for her. This relationship business is hard work.

God I hope James is dead. For a long time I wanted revenge on him and I searched for him in every country, for decades. But I never found him. Part of me wants him to find me…to come looking to start something up again. Then I could end him. But I don't want him near Bella. He would cut her throat just to get to me, without a thought. She can't be near him…ever. If he knew that I was actually in love with her right now, he might already be on his way to take her away from me. But I'm no kid anymore. I've learned a lot in my time since we last met. And if he does come back, this time, I will finish the job.

I checked in on Charlie for a few minutes. I could pry into his mind now whenever I wanted. He was watching a football game, drinking a beer. I shook my head. What a waste of a life. He's alone, not even sharing his life…fuck who am I to talk ? That's been me for 265 years, minus the beer and football. I guess he's not the worst person alive. As long as he stays in Forks, I'm fine letting him live his pathetic little existence. He'll never hurt my Bella again.

I had asked Bella earlier if she had a good time playing with me again. She smiled and said, "It was awesome. You're so evil. I love it."

Aww. She has no idea what a pig I am really, underneath all this vampire glitter. I often wondered if she would really still love ME if she could see who I really am.

I put the blanket over my shoulder and snuggled down, putting my nose in Bella's hair as I closed my eyes. Her soft skin under my hands was so perfect and warm. I never want to leave here. Then I felt something small climb up and lay on my covered shoulder. It gave a little yawn.

Tank.

He's sleeping on ME now ? This rodent has some nerve. I read his little brain and found only love and adoration for me as he slept on…perfectly secure that he was safe on Daddy's body. He saw me now as the Alpha so he was being extra sweet to me. The dog was just like Bella, trusting me, loving me when I didn't deserve it. Well this was life.

Some people are punished for no reason, others are rewarded for no reason. It's all random. I guess I'll enjoy this little moment of luck while I can, after the last 265 years I'm due for something good. I didn't feel bad about it. I didn't feel guilt. Well, not much.

Alright so I let the dog stay there. Damn I'm getting soft. I'll have to be extra nasty to Dr. Carlisle tomorrow. Yea he loves that. He keeps trying to get through to Miss Swan. The poor dolt doesn't even realize it's already too late to save her. She's mine now. And she's going to stay mine.

I had already gone through Carlisle's mind. He has nothing to do with Miss Swan's blood problem. I wasn't surprised, his mind is not that advanced to grasp all this.

He senses something isn't right about me but he has no idea what. He was starting to get through to Alice, but that drove her to try and do something about me. Especially after that day in gym class when she tried to shoot me with the arrow. Please. That arrow was so weak a child could've caught it.

I didn't really blame her. She thought I was going to kill her that day…she HAD to take a chance and try to save herself.

I didn't tell Miss Swan about it but Miss Hale paid dearly for that little stunt. I considered keeping her around, her mind intact, but she was about to poison Bella's mind in my case. She had already begun while I was sick, and she would try again. I could see in Alice's thoughts, her consideration in telling Bella our whole story…how I called Alice to me…how I had my way with her…how I even cut her hair short one night because she had angered me. I forbid her to grow it back, even though it was lovely. She was determined to tell Bella all the things about me that had already happened to her…she thought she could save Bella from me. She even had it in her head to tell Dr. Carlisle about all this, maybe with Bella at her side. But she didn't want him hurt. She liked him, she trusted him. But she knew I'd kill him or compel him if she said a word about me.

I saw all this in Alice's mind that afternoon in gym class.

She had to go.

I did come very close to killing her but only Bella stopped me. I didn't want that coming out later, she would hate me for it. Better to wipe her memory, keep her close so I could keep an eye on her but still keep her away from Bella.

I really had hoped that Bella would make a friend that wasn't part of my group. It's one of the reasons I bought her to my music class. All the girls there liked me, but only as a very nice teacher. They had no deep secret stories about how I tore their clothes off and forced them to do whatever I wanted, then at the end, drinking some of their blood, as if the sexual acts weren't enough. I made Bella part of the class, even though she was there only as an assistant, and I hoped at least one of the girls would spark to her. We'll see. These things take time, I guess. Maybe I can have her paired with one of them to do some homework project or something.

It's almost time to get ready for work. Fuck. The weekends go by so fast now. Miss Swan looks nice and tired. I did my job well. I hadn't used the hot room in a long time, that was a good idea. I'd take her back there again. She really didn't enjoy that.

I think I'll start training 317 for some water play. I really love the water. I'll bring it up next training session and see the reaction.

It's time to wake up, my 317.

I flinch my shoulder and send Tank off behind me, then I turn back to Miss Swan and kiss her back right between the shoulder blades. She stirs a little but doesn't wake up.

"Time to wake up, 317.", I sneer into her ear, biting it just enough to make her open those eyes.

"Snooze button…", she mumbled and rolled over, putting her arms around me and snuggling her cheek into my chest.

Did she just snooze button me ?

"Maybe I wasn't clear.", I put on my Mr. Cullen voice, "Ass up. Now."

I grabbed her up by the hair and tossed her over my shoulder, getting out of the bed and walking us to the shower as she held onto my back.

"A nice cold shower should wake you up.", I said with a smile as she gasped, realizing where she was now.

I love it when she looks afraid of me. She's not really afraid. Well, maybe a little…but she trusts me.

Oooh…today Miss Swan would be in gym class, participating. I couldn't wait to yell at her.

Bella's POV:

Having the cast off is a dream come true. I'm so exhausted but happy about my weekend with Master. He did so many new things. The box over my head…wow…that was scary but great. Master even put it back on my head on Sunday and closed the hole over my mouth. I could still breathe in it but couldn't see. He made me crawl naked in the snow following the sound of his voice. That was challenging but I did it. And then he put a big branch under my elbows and tied it there and had me outside on my tiptoes for an hour while he read me the rules of basketball. It's nice when Mr. Cullen joins us for our weekend.

Then Master got on his knees and licked me until I screamed my head off. After that, he put a rope around a loop in the top of the head box and held it while we walked back to the old hospital. Well, he walked, I crawled.

I kept thinking of it as I got out the door to school. Master always leaves way before me. He likes to hike a few miles before school starts. Or maybe he's hunting. Well, he needs to feed. I can't keep getting jealous after he spent the entire weekend with me. God, he even slept with me…and his arms…the way they hold me…and his kisses…I just melt like butter whenever he's sweet to me.

When gym class came around, I changed my clothes and went out there, sitting on the gym floor with my legs Indian style. It was a nice break not having gym all these weeks but now it's over. Oh well. It would be nice to be screamed at by Mr. Cullen again. I wonder what mistake I'll make that will do it today.

The other girls all sat in their places, glaring at me because I was back in my gym clothes, without my cast. They hate me. And I get why. Now.

I know I suck at gym but lots of girls do. Not in this class but…

It was always sad for me to see how angry Mr. Cullen looked whenever he stepped into the gymnasium. It used to scare the shit out of me…and it still does…but still I wish he'd smile once in awhile. The one time I saw him laugh was when the Fagan bitch stepped on my back as I laid on the floor that day.

And volleyball was one thing…but basketball…oh my Fuck ! It's friggin hard ! Dribbling the ball fast…and moving at the same time…forget it. I just can't do it. Mr. Cullen doesn't like the word CAN'T. Neither does Master. Can I just put the F in my grade box myself right now ? Mr. Cullen once told me that F's everyday means summer school. And he grinned at me with this evil smile. I'm dead.

Mr. Cullen came out right on time and was wearing those black sunglasses. Are his eyes okay ? They were fine earlier. Maybe he just wants to look cool. And he DOES. Dahmn. He's wearing a very snug green t shirt and long gray sweatpants, not baggy. Just right. You can almost see the muscles in his legs under it.

And the whistle around his neck. Perfect.

"Drills.", Mr. Cullen barked without a smile as he shoved the cart of basketballs in our direction. All the girls came up and took a basketball. I always let myself go last, taking one. Come on, ball, let's do something to piss off Mr. Cullen today.

The other girls were already doing their drill. This is something I watched them do everyday.

First, was the low pounce…or bounce ? Anyway, you dribble the ball real close to the floor, with our right hand, not letting it go up very high. We were to do this for about 30 seconds…then we were to dribble the ball a little higher, a bit above the knee around your midsection, fast as you can, hard as you can. Then, dribbling it up higher, to up around your shoulder height. I think this is called high pounce.

Then the real fun part came…you had to bounce the ball back and forth from side to side, moving it between each hand. Crossovers this was called.

After that, the ball moves to the left hand and we do all the same dribbles over again with that hand.

I was going to fuck this up beyond all repair. And I knew it, even watching them from the bleachers.

But now I'd have to actually try this.

Hectate…you've been with me all this time and I love you…but please, watch over me again now.

I doubted she would be. Gym was not her department. Or mine.

Okay now it was time for me to do this. Mr. Cullen is pretending not to be watching me. Okay.

I watched the girl next to me and she was doing great. I tried to do the same, opening my hand and slamming the ball down over and over again to the floor. Don't get away, don't get away…I kept willing it to stay with me. If it escaped, Mr. Cullen would start shitting kittens.

I tried to watch the ball and not Mr. Cullen. He had warned me about that before.

Suddenly, his voice was behind me.

"Swan.", he stabbed the air with the word.

"Oooh !", I jumped but managed to catch the ball and hold it as I turned, seeing him there, arms crossed, the sunglasses making his eyes look even colder. Like Robocop. Or the terminator.

"Yes Mr. Cullen.", I tried to smile.

"What are you doing ?", he tensed his jaw, "Show me your stance."

"Stance ?", I asked.

He sighed and curled a fist then uncurled it.

"How are you standing ?", he said slowly, using dummy words for me.

"Oh.", I turned and watched the other girls. They had their legs apart, bent a bit, slightly leaning forward.

"Low.", he put a hand on my back and shoved me down a bit, "Do not bend your back, butt down. Legs apart. Work those muscles as hard as you can. If you're not feeling it, you're not working hard enough."

"Yes Mr. Cullen.", I took a breath and ignored the other girls as they laughed at me. God, I hate them. It makes me sick that they can feed Master and I can't. Hey maybe THAT'S why he's so bitchy ! He's drinking BITCH blood !

He walked away from me as I started to dribble the ball, now in my correct stance. The ball hit the floor twice and then came up hard against my middle finger.

"OW!", I yelped and the ball bounced away. I ran after it…I couldn't catch it until it was halfway down the court.

I could've sworn I heard Mr. Cullen whine in his chest but he didn't yell at me…yet. This was just the warmup drills.

Then something weird happened that never happens.

"Mr. Cullen ?", one of the girls raised her hand as Mr. Cullen had his back to her.

I was trying to do my drill but also I was watching this. The girl was Miss Randall. A very pretty girl with brown curly hair, skinny.

"What, Miss Randall ?", he sounded bored, not looking at her.

"Do you know when Jackie Nickles is coming back ?", she dared to ask.

His look was nothing less than lethal as he turned to her.

"How would I know ?", his eyes squinted, "Write her a postcard or something."

"I did.", she seemed frustrated, "She never wrote back."

He grinned.

"Well, I guess she doesn't like you then.", he said with fake pleasantness.

"But then-"

"Are you done for the day ?", he raised his voice a bit, "This is gym class, not group therapy. Tell your troubles there. Here all you need to do is work. So, get to work."

The girl looked at another girl and then they looked at me. Mr. Cullen was walking around near the other girls, not paying them any more attention. I lost control of my ball again…and it went into the area of the girl next to me.

"Hey", the blonde haired girl took her ball in her hands as I tried to get my ball.

"Sorry.", I tried to keep it quiet as I retrieved my ball and went back to my spot.

Mr. Cullen inhaled then exhaled, his back still to me…but I knew he heard.

Once the horror of fucking drills was over, the real fun began. Playing basketball. Yay.

Oh, the best moment ever…choosing sides for basketball. I guess I can just relax until I'm the last one standing as usual.

"Pratt and Givens", Mr. Cullen chose the captains for each team, "Choose your players."

Mr. Cullen hung back and waited, watching while the two tall pretty girls called out the names of the players they wanted.

"Harris.", Miss Pratt smiled and Miss Harris smiled back at her as she walked behind her.

"Thomas." Miss Givens called.

Mr. Cullen muttered something to himself that I couldn't hear as he boringly glanced at his fingernails.

Finally, I was one of two girls left. I was no stranger to this.

Miss Pratt smirked at me and called the other girl next to me. She was a little shorter than me.

Miss Givens looked disappointed that I was to be on her team and she didn't even call my name as she walked away with her team to the other side of the court.

"Miss Givens.", Mr. Cullen stopped her with his voice, "That was rude. Call your teammate by her name at least. This is a team sport, every member of your team is important, even THIS one."

Thanks Mr. Cullen. Jerk.

"Sorry.", she said half heartedly, "Swan."

Mr. Cullen gave her a weak grin back then frowned.

But I wish I could've kissed him full on the lips for that. He usually didn't get involved in this stuff.

The two captains met in the center of the court and Mr. Cullen held the ball then blew his whistle, tossing it up into the air, stepping back. The two girls went up for it and Pratt knocked it over into her side of the court. Now the nightmare would begin.

It seems that all Hell broke loose suddenly and girls were all running in the same direction…a very large girl, Zimmer, I think her name is, was right in my face, waving her arms around me as I frowned and drew back from her. I was far away from the basket, my favorite place to be, wanting to stay out of everyone's way over here.

Suddenly the ball hit me right in the face from my right side and I flew backwards. Sneakers were squeaking against the floor as Mr. Cullen dropped his face into his hand from the sidelines and I scrambled to get up, wondering where the ball was now and if our team had it.

Then suddenly everyone was running to the other side of the court. I followed, not going very fast. Mr. Cullen looked at me like he wanted to eat my babies, his sunglasses off his eyes now, hanging from the collar of his t shirt. His eyes were huge and glaring at me.

I rushed to get to the other girls, whatever they were doing. I was on the outside of the action, standing there, watching the others.

"SWAN who are you guarding over there ?!", Mr. Cullen shouted. I looked at him and shrugged, unsure. No one told me to GUARD anyone.

"Pratt, my apologies.", Mr. Cullen said to my captain.

"Find someone and GUARD THEM SWAN!", he called, "Look for a person who's all alone…like me."

I did see a girl without a person on her ass and I guess that was my person. When I got over to her, the girls were already running to the other side again. This game is so confusing…and too much running.

Now I was confused. Do I guard someone now ? Oh no…there's that Zimmer girl in my face again…I guess she's guarding me. Okay.

The ball was coming to me ! Oh shit ! Why would they throw it to me ?!

I managed to catch it…badly…and then I dribbled it…poorly…some girl quickly stole it away from me and took off to the other side. The other girls on my team were yelling at me as I felt my face burn a bright red as I followed them again.

"SWAN", Mr. Cullen shouted, "I'm going to Forks to kick the ass of your gym teacher there !"

I had to laugh at that one…it was very good. I'd love to see that happen too. Mr. Klaus would shit his pants.

"I'm sorry !", I said back to him.

"Don't apologize to ME", he called back, "Get in the game !"

I was unsure what I was supposed to be doing now…oh yea…guard someone. I moved close to the girl who was alone…and I tried to wave my hands in her face…I felt so stupid. I didn't hear Mr. Cullen having his stroke so I guess I was doing right at the moment.

"Good defense Zimmer…", Mr. Cullen was coaching one of the other girls, "Right…take your shot !"

One girl threw the ball from a long way away and it punched right into the basket ! Was that my team's point ? Oh who cares ?

Girls were high fiving each other on the other team…oh okay…not my team.

"Where are you, SWAN ?", Mr. Cullen blew his whistle as I looked and saw my team on the other court.

Shit ! I ran over and stood there uselessly as the game went on without me.

The rest of the game was just like this. Mr. Cullen got to yell at me a lot and that was fun I guess. I had kinda missed that. But at the same time, I hated it that I sucked so bad. I wanted him to be proud of me like he was in archery class. I couldn't wait to do that again. Maybe Master would keep teaching me that after school like he said. But right now he looks pissed at me.

At one point, a girl I was guarding shoved into me a little hard and I almost fell.

Mr. Cullen blew his whistle and shouted, "Foul !"

Uh oh what did I do ?

"Sorry.", I said.

"Not you, Swan.", Mr. Cullen pinched the bridge of his nose, "Come here…you get two free throws."

Oh no. God no.

I blushed and they all went over to the basket, lining up on the sides, waiting for me.

"Oh, no, that's alright.", I shook my head, "It was an accident…"

Mr. Cullen had the whistle in his teeth and froze, staring at me, the ball in his hand.

"Get the f-", he closed his eyes, "Get over here, Swan."

I hurried over, hating every second of this.

Mr. Cullen handed me the ball and closed my hands over it, as if to tell me not to drop it.

I swallowed and all the girls were staring at me with mean faces.

"Position yourself on the line.", Mr. Cullen pointed at a red line on the floor.

Position myself…okay…I stood behind the line ? I looked at Mr. Cullen and he smirked at me, giving me a mocking nod that I had gotten that part right at least. Damn he smells good…what is that ?

"Take a moment…", he instructed, "Find a routine…"

I was lost…what ?

He closed his eyes and took a breath as the girls giggled in the background.

"Dribble the ball a couple times.", he stood back, staring at me, "Don't put your foot past that line."

Okay I dribbled the ball…once…twice…I stopped and looked at Mr. Cullen.

He waited.

"Free throws require confidence and focus.", Mr. Cullen was saying to the class and to me…then he swallowed and added, "Shoot the ball, Swan. God help you."

The basket was so fucking far away. This was going to be a joke.

I put the ball over my head and jumped, shoving it hard into the air and away from me. It went far over the basket, going behind it. The other girls laughed as one of them got the ball and threw it to Mr. Cullen.

"One more time.", he said with a bit more empathy this time, he handed it to me.

"Wait.", he stopped me, "Relax. Take a deep breath."

I did what he said.

"Forget everyone else…", he said in a low voice, "Lock your eyes on the basket…that's the thing up there with the net on it…"

I smirked a little because he was smiling too.

"Bend your knees…", he instructed calmly, as I did it, "As you straighten them, raise your arm up and at the highest point of your reach, release the ball."

I love you Mr. Cullen. You are the best teacher. I am not going to make it, but I thank you for your efforts anyway.

"Okay.", I took a breath and bent my knees, straightening, lifting…throwing…and wincing.

The ball rolled up into the air and was going into the direction of the basket ! It looked like it might go in ! But it didn't…but it DID hit the side of the hoop ! I was so thrilled !

"You missed.", Mr. Cullen was confused at my elation.

"I know.", I said as the other girls began to run again, "But that's the closest I ever came!"

He grinned, his hand on my back, "I believe you. Congratulations."

This did not have a sarcastic tone to it.

"Go play.", he shook his head as I took off after the group, unsure where I was going now.

After class ended, I was changing and thinking of Alice. She was out of my sight now, I moved my locker to the next row over where I could not see her. But I could hear her now and then, talking, happily being Alice.

She was the only person who ever went out of her way to say hi to me here. I missed her.

Then there was Nickles. She never came back. And today, Mr. Cullen seemed to be very irritated by Miss Randall's questions. I'm sure she's okay… I trusted Mr. Cullen enough to not bring it up. I didn't want to seem like I doubted him or his word.

After gym was my group therapy class. Dr. Carlisle was there, as usual, very friendly and kind.

"Unfinished business.", Dr. Carlisle began as we sat in the circle, "Is hurtful because if you keep carrying unfinished stuff with you…it gets in the way of your life…and your future…so even if you don't want to share it here, I am hoping that in the next few weeks…that you can resolve your unfinished business and put it behind you…"

"So.", he said, "Just with a show of hands…how many of us have something that's unfinished that needs to be taken care of ?"

A couple of the girls showed their hands. I didn't. I really do have unfinished crap with Charlie. I should've told him myself to fuck off and stay out of my life…but Mr. Cullen took care of that for me.

"Okay.", Dr. Carlisle smiled warmly, "Amy…are you willing to share ? Do you want to share ?"

I nearly rolled my eyes at him.

"Yea I will.", Amy answered, "Umm…well I got pregnant when I was 14."

Dr. Carlisle didn't looked shocked, only supportive.

"And that was like 3 years ago…", she said a bit sadly, "And my parents made me give up the baby for adoption…and I think about him everyday…wondering what he's like…how he is…you know…"

God. And I thought I had it rough.

"Okay.", Dr. Carlisle nodded, "And are you willing to work on that ?"

"Yea.", Amy nodded, looking at him, "Because it still hurts me everyday…I would like to…work on that…"

"Okay.", Dr. Carlisle looked solemnly at her, "And we will do that, Amy."

She nodded back.

"And how about you, Diane ?", Dr. Carlisle asked the other girl who raised her hand, "Would you like to share ?"

"Uh yea.", she looked down, then at Amy, "You almost told my story….except I had an abortion when I was like 15. And no one knows about it…not even my parents…"

"When you say no one…", Dr. Carlisle interrupted, "Does that mean…you're sharing it for the first time here ?"

"Uh yes.", she answered meekly, crossing her arms, "Pretty much. And most days…it's always there…it's always there…"

"Okay…", Dr. Carlisle nodded, "And do you want to work on that, too ?"

She agreed and he looked pleased. See, Dr. Carlisle has his hands full with girls with real problems. Mine are not that terrible. Well…I'm a murderer but how can I work on that ? There's no cure for my thing. Except with Master…he makes me feel like I'm not broken because of that. He told me that he had done so much worse and that one bad reaction didn't make me a cold stoned killer.

And also, I feel like I'm being punished for it every time he gets his hands on me.

"Right and see ?", Dr. Carlisle said, "You don't want to walk around carrying these things…because everyday life is hard enough without carrying this extra stuff around."

Alright. Here's how Master taught me to snow Dr. Carlisle during group therapy. I hope he's listening.

"Can I just…", I raised my hand and Dr. Carlisle smiled, nodding to me.

"I think it's amazing and I thank the two of you…", I said to them, "For having that ability…that courage…to say…and share that…and I can really, really relate to that…"

Dr. Carlisle smiled at me proudly. There you go Master. I participated in group today.

"How do you relate to that, Bella ?", Dr. Carlisle asked me softly.

Oh no. Backfired.

I shrugged.

"I don't know…", I stammered.

"Do you have unfinished business with your mother, Bella ?", he asked.

See, this is why he pisses me off. Everyone else is ASKED if they want to share…he just shares my stuff without my permission !

"Well…yea…", I began…not wanting him to talk about her or how she died with the group.

"How do we resolve unfinished business with those who are dead and gone ?", he asked aloud to the group.

I felt my eyes squint and my mouth frowned.

"You don't.", I shot back coldly, "Not unless I can find a séance and talk to her again."

"But, Bella…", Dr. Carlisle shared, "You don't need a séance. All you need to do is close your eyes…and talk to her. She'll hear you. And you can get it off your chest…and let it go."

"Uh okay, I'll try that sometime…", I said, hoping he'd leave me alone now.

"I hope you do.", he grinned, "It'll help, believe me."

I could just see it now, when I saw him in private he'd expect me to talk to my mother with him right there listening.

"How do we not feel shame ?", Dr. Carlisle asked later, "I mean, going back to our first day together, the sentences we tell ourselves everyday…I'm a terrible person…I'm a bad person…we ALL have to change that self talk…that's always there…we have to turn that off and hear something new….instead of I'm a bad person…how about…I'm a STRONG person…I'm a survivor…"

Man. Dr. Carlisle is a good talker. But again, this doesn't work for my situation.

I walked the dogs in the kennel before my detention with Mr. Cullen and I took them through the nice little forest trail. It was a cold day but sunny and the snow almost glowed beside the lake, the trees…it really was a gorgeous place…and no one was around.

"I miss you Mom.", I said low under my breath, "And I'm sorry…that I was so mad at you for so long…for…doing what you did to yourself. I know it must've been…terrifying…and you were alone. I know what that feels like. Because I've wanted to hurt myself too. And I cut myself…or used to…to make myself feel better. So…I forgive you, Mom. I'm not mad at you anymore. I get it now. I just hope that wherever you are…you're at peace. You deserve that. I'm doing good, too. I'm happy now. I'm in a good place…with a very good person. He takes care of me. He loves me. So just know that, okay ? I love you Mom. Always."

I got to the gym and changed, for detention, then went to the wall and put my legs up there, my hands on the floor. I had gotten used to this but it had been six weeks since I'd been up here. It felt nice to be back.

I fell a couple of times before Mr. Cullen started coming in.

"I knew that was you from the first sound of the body hitting the floor.", he smiled warmly, his arms crossed, "Welcome back, Swan."

"Thank you, Mr. Cullen.", I grunted, finding this a little harder than before I got hurt. Maybe my arm is weak after all.

"God, I wanted to hurt you today.", he shared with a pleasant tone of voice, "I mean, I knew the first day back in gym would be a travesty but…I was not prepared…"

"Sorry…Mr. Cullen.", I grinned under my hair.

"Don't be.", he leaned against the wall beside me, "I remembered that…I'm the teacher…and my job is to teach…so…that's what I tried to do…and I'll keep trying. I won't give up on you, Swan."

I felt good as he said that. I was glad he saw something in me…and would keep trying to bring it out.

He truly is a gifted teacher. And I'm lucky to have him.

"Thanks Mr. Cullen…", I answered, "That's…great."

"Don't get all misty eyed just yet…", he took a deep breath, rubbing his eyes, "We have a lot of work to do…and first I have to decide if I still want to be a gym teacher."

"Ha ha…", I said sarcastically, "You love to make jokes about my playing…"

"Jokes ?", he asked, "They're not jokes, they're soul crushing tales from the abyss."

"I did like the one about kicking the ass of my gym teacher in Forks, though.", I conceded, "That was flawless."

"Again, not a joke.", he said dryly.

"Come off the wall, Swan.", he allowed me as I got down, rubbing my hands a little.

"Not bad at group today." , he said, "But you let him throw you. You have to keep your head if he tries to turn it around on you…don't panic. He will only know what you let him know. You have the power. Just relax."

"I know.", I said, a bit defeated, "But he brought up my Mom."

"I know.", he replied, understanding, "He knows that's your kryptonite. But don't let him use it against you."

"We'll go over it more together later.", he assured, "Don't worry, you're doing great."

"Thanks.", I smiled at him, my eyes just absorbing his face…

He took a deep breath.

"Okay.", he said, "I decided I still want to be a gym teacher…and I still want to teach you, Swan. I guess that clenches it…I AM a masochist."

I laughed a little.

"Awww, I'm touched.", I play tapped him.

"Not yet…later.", he smirked wickedly, "I need to spank you tonight. Badly."

"Yay then my day wasn't totally wasted then.", I teased.

He went and picked up the basketball and began dribbling it in his annoyingly perfect way.

"Could you make it in the basket all the way over there from here ?", I asked. We were right near the basket on this side of the court. He smiled at me, accepting my challenge.

"With my eyes closed.", he stated confidently.

"Go ahead.", I crossed my arms, waiting.

He closed his eyes and turned his back to the basket. And with perfect precision, he gracefully threw his arms up and over his head…the ball rolling and arching up high and back there towards the basket. Mr. Cullen stood there, waiting, listening, smiling to himself…as the ball swooshed right into the basket and made the net fly up as it passed through.

"I hate you.", I stated truthfully.

"That sounds like unfinished business…", he mocked Dr. Carlisle as I playfully went up behind him and covered his mouth as he laughed. I thought he'd scold me for putting my hand too close to his teeth but he didn't this time.

"I'll always be your unfinished business.", I said to him as he gently took my hand from his mouth and kissed it.

"Mr. Cullen.", I gasped, "You kissed my hand, how inappropriate."

"I wasn't kissing it.", he joked, "I was trying to heal it."

He got the ball back and curled his finger, motioning me closer.

And so he began teaching me how to do a free throw properly. We practiced it over and over again…I loved watching him dribble the ball and shoot it…

"Do you ever miss ?", I asked with a hint of annoyance, "Jeez just once ?"

"Nope.", he chuckled.

By the end of the detention, I had made a couple baskets and I celebrated that so happily…I even hugged Mr. Cullen ! He hugged me back, quickly, then stepped back again.

"Behave, Swan.", he raised a brow, "We're in school."

"Aren't there any places in school where we could be alone ?", I asked a little seductively.

His lips curled up, and he was so cute, thinking about it.

"My office.", he suggested, his dark brows raising a bit.

"I've never been in there before.", I hinted, moving closer to him, taking hold of his shiny whistle.

"Swan.", he hardened a little, trying to resist, "That's my whistle."

I smirked and licked my lips and slowly put them around the mouthpiece…I took out my tongue and licked it…slowly…and I lightly blew into it.

In the next second I was being thrown down over his desk in his office. It was very tidy and neat in here. No pictures on the desk, nothing on the walls, nothing on the desk even. It was like no one used it.

The only thing that sounded like him was a quote painted on the wall.

It said :

If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you.

And I only saw one mug on the shelf above the desk that said, "Witness this amazing gym teacher in action."

That was cute. I loved it.

He locked the door behind us, there were no windows in here either.

He quickly yanked his shirt off over his head and showing me that marble white chest that looked sculpted instead of born. And the whistle stayed on…I wouldn't have it any other way.

I smiled, enjoying the view as he pushed me down on my back, opening my legs and pulling me to his hips.

He looked so excited to have me in here, finally. I was too. I felt so naughty. We could get caught in here. This was thrilling.

His lips were kissing me as he clutched at my gym t shirt…pulling it out of my shorts and lifting it up, revealing my white bra.

"Mmmm", he dove in and started kissing my breasts, moving the bra aside a bit as I moaned and felt his tongue on my nipple…fuck this is hot ! It feels so forbidden somehow here in his office near the locker room.

I grabbed that fuckable hair of his and just smelled it as he turned his head to the side, exposing my whole right breast as he pushed the bra cup down. The tongue was moving wildly over my nipple, fast and so cool and wet. I was panting and making turned on little sounds as his hand went down into my shorts, pushing them down a little as I cried out softly, feeling his fingers playing my clit to perfection.

"I want to do this to you in class…", he breathed as he bit my nipple hard, my voice screaming out a little…his hand clamped over my mouth, pushing my head back off the desk edge as he ravaged my neck.

"Right in front of all those evil little girls…" he kept kissing right below my throat, "Just rip all your clothes off and have you on the fucking gym floor…"

"UUHHHHH", I just imagined it…it almost felt that exposed right now.

"You can have me…", I breathed, kissing his mouth as his tongue violently grappled against mine, "Anywhere you want…always…"

He gave a very sexy purr and then he flipped me over.

"Get up on your hands and knees.", he helped me up as I giggled and obeyed.

"Yes, just like that.", his voice was deep and thick.

I felt his icy fingers pull my gym shorts off and down my legs to sit at my knees. Then the panties, too, slid down on top of the shorts. I knew I had some nice red welts and lines there from this weekend's fun. He gave a very pleased growl as he looked over his work and licked his tongue along every line…every little purple mark and bruise.

"I love the colors I put on this ass.", he said in admiration.

"Me too, Master.", I let my hair fall over my face as I just closed my eyes and felt him touching and licking me.

He undid my bra and pushed my shirt up, exposing my breasts as they hung there.

"Oh my God, yes.", he said, drinking me in as he clutched and dug his fingernails into my ass cheeks.

"Ohhhhh", I loved how great and painful it felt at the same time.

His cheek laid against my left ass cheek for a moment as he stroked the right one.

"I need to spank this little ass.", he said, "Now."

"It's yours.", I said sweetly, "Do what you want with it."

"Mmmm, I love you, Swan.", he said without shame or hesitation.

"Come here.", he sat up on the desk, and put me over his lap that still wore the sweatpants.

I loved being half naked over his lap this way…it was delicious and I could feel his penis so hard under my stomach.

"Yes.", he stroked my hair over my back.

He began slowly, stroking and clutching at my ass…then giving me light slaps, upwards from under my ass cheek, making the meat there jump up as I squealed out happily. His hand was nice and cool against my sore warm ass and that felt so nice.

My sneakers still on, my feet dangled in the air as he gradually increased the force of each slap, each swat… and he would stroke me for a few moments before he struck again. It was a bit painful but also erotic this way…with his hands I loved it and never wanted it to end. I kept mewling and growling after a particular hard slap.

"Oh my God, this is so good, Mr. Cullen….", I said in a haze of lust, "Please more…I've been sooo bad. I hate basketball."

I knew that would get him going.

"Ohhhh", he gave a pleased but sinister chuckle…and I got a few good handed spanks for that. This was turning me on so much I could almost come right now.

"And I hate all sports actually…", I confessed, "And I don't give a fuck about volleyball either…."

He was really giving it to me good now…I found the key to get him pissed off and I used profanity again.

"Bad, bad little girl…", he kept spanking me hard now as I cringed and held onto the desk edge.

I rubbed my breasts against his leg under me and opened my legs more…wanting him there.

"Bitch.", he breathed.

He finally put me back up on the desk on all fours again, taking the sneakers off me and the socks…the shorts and underwear, my leg raising up as he pulled them off.

He spread my ass cheeks open and stuck his face in there, licking my pussy, fucking it with his tongue, his slithering coldness playing and dancing inside me…as I cried out a little, trying to be quiet.

He bent down and grabbed my socks, making a ball out of them…and he shoved it into my mouth.

"Keep it there.", he ordered as he went back to the other end of the desk.

He pulled off his sweatpants and underwear, kicking off his sneakers and socks.

Parting my legs, he slowly put the head against my pussy and entered softly…crawling inside as I screamed into my gym socks, biting down.

"UGGHHHH", he moaned as he nestled himself deep inside…and let himself just be there for a moment…and to me, at least, that felt so fucking right...our bodies connecting…it always felt like a soul connection more than just a physical one.

Then it was pounding, slamming against each other, his cock ramming me mercilessly right there in his office, on the desk where he gave me zeroes every day.

He grabbed my hips and helped me move back and forth against him…grunting like two animals as he kept fucking me and fucking me…taking as long as he wanted…if it took three hours, I would wait…this was pure heaven.

My knees were sore against the hard desk but I turned that feeling off, concentrating on what wonders were going on between my legs…I came over and over again but he kept pumping and ravaging me, not wanting to let me go yet.

His hands were manhandling my breasts, too, as he rode me, my voice bouncing and moaning as he pleased me over and over again, not stopping.

He raised me up to lean back against him and he grabbed my throat firmly as he kept fucking me.

"How am I going to work in here from now on ?", he ruggedly asked me as he groaned, not slowing his pace, "I'll only be thinking of you now, here, on my desk…like this…"

Maybe next time you sit here you'll give me an A in gym, not a C.

He slapped my ass again with his hand, very hard. And again…and again….

My hips were being held tight to his and he held me in place as he roared out loud, not caring who heard him. I felt the liquid and the burn inside as he finally came for me. I was so happy that I had pleased him. And was able to go this long so he could come. My body IS getting stronger.

His head fell onto my ass and rested on my spine as we shivered and tried to recover, silently, just breathing…

After a couple of minutes, he reached up and pulled my socks out of my lips.

I didn't like the way they tasted and I was glad to be rid of them.

His arms wrapped around my waist and his hands fondled my breasts gently, moving down to my waist...just caressing…

"So warm…", he reveled in the heat in my body, "I'm sorry I'm so cold…"

"I love you cold.", I said as he kissed my lips, taking my neck in his hand again, his tongue tasting mine.

"Your body is lasting longer…" he informed, "You're keeping up with me now…"

"Yay…", I smiled, kissing him deeper.

"Do I get an A now ?", I asked as I kissed him again.

"Miss Swan…", his voice sounded shocked, "Are you fucking me for grades ?"

"Well how else will I pass gym ?", I turned to him and put my breasts against his naked chest.

He kissed me again and with eyes closed, he answered, "True."

"Mmmmm", he pondered as he cupped my ass, holding me to his body, "Maybe…a C minus?"

I squinted at him and he laughed at the look I shot him.

"Wait, wait, wait…", he inhaled me and moved my hair out of the way, kissing my neck once more.

"B plus ?", he asked.

"Bye.", I acted like I was going to get off the desk.

"Okay, okay…", he pulled me back to him, "A…A plus ! And I never give those to anyone."

I smiled and kissed him while he felt me up very thoroughly.

"Slut.", his voice growled as his tongue licked against mine.

His fingers pinched my nipples and pulled me to him by the little pink nubs as I opened my mouth and gave a little gasp.

"Get down.", he pulled me down and put me on my back again…and he parted my legs roughly, getting on the floor on his knees, he began slowly licking up my pussy as I opened my mouth and breathed heavier…his tongue was like cocaine to my pussy.

"I want more…", he closed and opened his mouth over my clit, wetly and savagely biting and sucking…almost drinking me as I bucked and arched, and I began touching my own breasts…cupping them…pinching my own nipples as he watched me.

"Fuck, Swan.", he was amazed at what he was seeing. Hey, I've watched porn before.

I stuck my tongue out and brought my nipple to my own tongue…giving it a little flick.

This urged him on to eat me even deeper, his hands holding my legs apart further.

He sucked and pulled back as I gave out a little scream of delight. It didn't take me very long to come and howl as he drove me to ecstasy again and again.

For dinner, I was tied down on his desk on my back, my ankles and wrists tied with rope. He snuck off to the cafeteria and brought my food back to his office. He fed me little pieces of rare steak and teased me, pulling the steak away, as I laid there, happily captured by my evil vampire lover…and Master.

I felt so happy and madly in love…life just couldn't get any better than this.

END OF CHAPTER 34