34
MRS. Weasley had just finished making breakfast, a bite of scrambled egg on her fork, with Tonks about ready to take a bite of egg and bacon and sausage, when Ollie stalked through the front entryway of Grimmauld Place's kitchen.
"There you are, Tonks! Remus!" Ollie growled in a hoarse voice that sounded strangely like sandpaper.
He sounded flustered, and Tonks could tell he was ticked off about something, whatever the hell was bothering the poor bloke, and once more, she was going to play the role of sounding board and then a counselor of sorts to help him out of whatever bind he and his temper had gotten himself into this time.
Her best friend's panicked voice laced to the brim with fear startled Tonks so bad that she fumbled her bite of egg, swearing under her breath as it went down the front of her purple favorite V-neck Weird Sisters t-shirt.
Tonks had to plunge her hand down the front of her shirt to retrieve it, much to Lupin's embarrassment, though Remus didn't pull his eyes away from the aesthetically pleasing sight that made the wolf within him hum and growl in pleasure, either.
Ollie entered the kitchen looking utterly lost, and in a daze, his blue eyes faraway and not at all here.
Tonks's hand shot up to her chest when she'd finally retrieved the bite of the egg as if trying to stop her racing heart from bursting through. She narrowed her grey irises until they were mere slits and turned to look towards her best mate's general direction, who didn't hesitate to take the seat opposite from the two of them.
"Merlin damn you, Ollie Brennan!" Tonks stammered, her cheeks flushing high with color as her already pale heart-shaped face tightened in anger as she glowered at the dark-haired Legilimens across from her, tossing her hair, which was shoulder-length, wavy, and a dark purple color this morning, over her shoulders. "You scared the bloody shit out of me, Ol!"
Lupin, who'd been about to take a sip of coffee, lowered his mug, suddenly looking weary and exhausted as Ollie was eyeing his fiancée rather indignantly, though whether or not the man had noticed the ring on her left ring finger remained to be seen. Either way, he felt his body start to involuntary tense and stiffen, especially in his shoulders, preparing for yet another outburst from Dora's best friend.
The man's father's funeral was today, and his partner in the Order was now soundly resting upstairs in her bedroom, having been released from St. Mungo's earlier this morning. She'd been drugged with a Sleeping Draught to combat the worst of her pains and was barely conscious when Ollie brought her home.
"I need your help, Tonks," Ollie answered, unmoving as he folded his arms across his broad chest, suddenly looking tense as a muscle in his jaw pulled taut, his dark eyebrows furrowed into an intense frown.
Tonks eyed her best mate indignantly, quirking a thin eyebrow at him before shoveling another bite of egg into her mouth, taking her time chewing and swallowing before chasing the bite with a swig of milk.
Lupin rolled his eyes, resting his cheek in his fist as he propped his elbows up onto the table. He suspected and rightfully so, Dora was doing it just to watch her best mate squirm in discomfort while waiting. And Remus was right in that regard, it seemed.
"Oh, that's the thanks I get for saving your new partner's life yesterday. Not 'Thank you, Tonks, for saving her life,' but, 'I need another favor from you!' Is this really what our friendship has come to these days, Ollie? Merlin's Beard, Ollie!" Tonks remarked stiffly with exaggerated hurt, picking at the remainder of her eggs.
Now, it was Ollie's turn to roll his eyes, mumbling a half-hearted thanks under his breath, not turning to look as Molly set down a heavily laden breakfast plate in front of him, though he paused to nibble at the edges of a piece of buttered wheat toast and let out a groan.
"Saving it or making Jameson's life that much more difficult?" Ollie questioned, his voice livid with a strange sense of misplaced fear that Remus couldn't place, and the shift in the younger man's countenance puzzled him as he studied the nervous way he behaved.
What little color was left in Tonks's face, to begin with, her face still a bit peaky from not getting much sleep last night, too worried about Norah to sleep well, drained as she spluttered, trying to think of a remark.
The words were out of her mouth before she could stop herself, her fingers curling around the tines of her fork. Lupin froze, hoping Dora didn't mean to stab Ollie's hand with it, though it was looking that way.
Gingerly, before the idea could even cross his fiancée's mind, Lupin removed the fork from her grasp.
"I would say you did a fairly good job of the latter yourself, Ollie," Tonks snapped meanly, knowing her words had physically wounded him by the way he flinched away and leaned back in his chair in both hurt and surprise, looking as though Tonks had just hit him.
Tonks lowered her eyes at her best mate across the kitchen table and regarded poor Ollie spitefully. "I did what I had to," she muttered thoughtfully, lifting her glass of milk to her lips, and drinking, all the while studying her best friend's expression over the rim of the cup. His facial expression almost remained blank. "I protected your partner and got Norah out of that hole. The only way I could," she said, her voice full of painful regret, wishing there had been another way out.
Ollie sighed, contemplating Tonks's actions yesterday morning, knowing she was bloody right. As usual.
Although he doubted it would have changed much. He still couldn't shake the feeling of dread that Norah was sure to despise him, despite the young blonde having agreed to join him for dinner on Friday.
He let out a growl of frustration and rested his head in his hands, his fingers curling into fists angrily.
Ollie couldn't fathom it. Every time thus far he interacted with the prickly little blonde female wolf, he seemed to lose his nerve and all sense of who he was. So much in fact, that it felt like he was hardly in control of his own actions, much less his own thoughts. He could not understand it.
He had no reason to be rattled by her theatrics and those icy, pleading eyes.
This werewolf…Jameson was unlike any other witch that he had ever encountered before, and this wasn't exactly a good thing, either. He'd been in her presence now a tiny handful of times, and yet, each time, it felt as though his brain went numb, he forgot who he was, even who she was, the status differences between the two of them; he the son of a Death Eater, and she… a werewolf. It was disconcerting. It made him feel on edge and not at all sure what to do about it.
Norah made him feel…nervous. He blinked as the realization suddenly dawned on him of the truth.
Yes, he was attracted to the wretched creature, of that there was no denying it. Why else would he have accidentally invited her to dinner when he'd not meant to? He—he hadn't been thinking clearly when he had.
Lupin furrowed his brows as he looked across the table at Ollie, surprised by Dora's friend's sullenness.
"Is everything all right, Ollie, between you and Norah?" he asked in what he hoped was a casual tone, his face giving away none of the emotions he felt.
Ollie's face was deadly serious when he brought his icy-glacier gaze back to meet Lupin's brown irises.
"No," he admitted at last in a faint enough voice. He closed his eyes as he felt his anger at himself for the situation he'd gotten himself and his partner into start to rise as a horrible warmth in his chest, causing bile to rise up in his throat though he swallowed the stuff down.
Tonks exhaled loudly and looked to the ceiling, perhaps for strength, or perhaps she realized that this mess that her mate had gotten himself into now with Jameson was going to take more sorting out than she'd thought. She lowered her head, trying to be the voice of reason for Ollie, though this was usually Lupin's job.
"Ol, you know that…" she hesitated, choosing her words carefully, not wanting to set him more on edge than he already looked. "You know that I'm your best friend, and I want to help you. But…without more details, then we can't help. If you want our advice, then you've got to be honest with me and Remus, yeah?" She continued only when Ollie grunted wordlessly in response and nodded his head, showing he agreed with her statement. "Is it Jameson?" She paused, sounding so unsure of herself. "H—has something…happened?"
Ollie opened his mouth and had been about to reply to Tonks, but seeing the concern on the young witch's face, he realized that if his friend had opened up to him and confided in him as much as he had done, then it only seemed fair that he needed to trust her now.
Tonks had never led him astray or wronged him. In truth, he tried hard to put the fact that he'd more or less asked Norah out on a date, and she had said yes.
Thank Merlin and the gods she was still upstairs sleeping off the last remaining effects of the particularly heavy dosage of the Sleeping Draught the St. Mungo's Healer, the shifty-eyed nervous bastard, had slipped into her tea this morning, as Norah had complained of a horrible headache when she woke up.
There was a part of Ollie that hoped Jameson stayed asleep for at least a few more hours. She looked as though she'd not rested well enough while trapped and confined in that stuffy hospital room that smelt of bleach, and he couldn't blame her for that. St. Mungo's wasn't exactly the most welcoming of hospitals, really.
But in part, also because he wasn't sure what he would say to her if he were to bump into her again, though they still had their night duty tonight to get through. He hoped he didn't see her again until then.
"The truth is…" he began, sounding more hesitant and vulnerable than he thought he had in his entire life. "I uh, sort of, well… asked her to dinner."
Ollie finished his thought rather lamely and ran his hand through his hair, finding it a damn miracle he was even able to speak at all, his breaths catching in his throat, having become labored and he focused his attention yet again on what had been circulating within his mind ever since he'd gotten a good look at Norah.
He was attracted to her. To a werewolf. Even though she wasn't in the same room with him anymore, he could still feel his eyes on her, boring right through him and seeing into his heart, as if some small part of her now lingered within him, since Norah had said yes.
"She said yes?" Tonks questioned, unable to disguise the note of hope from her voice. Ollie's smile twitched at the corner of his mouth as he heard the slight lilt in his best mate's voice. As embarrassing as it was to speak of this to Lupin and Tonks, it was at the same time refreshing, feeling like a weight was lifted.
"We're happy for you, Ollie," interjected Lupin before Ollie could voice the concern that was really on his mind, and Remus really did genuinely sound as though he was. "And I'm sure Norah is happy as well."
Upon hearing the werewolf and older wizard's words, Ollie's head jerked sharply upright in Lupin's general direction towards his friend, yes, he very much considered Remus a friend to him at this point, and the faint trace of the ghost of a smile completely vanished.
It had been a long year in the Order, for all of them, and was shaping up to be the start of another long year, Ollie's second year as a part-time Order member.
It had taken him and Remus a while before fully becoming friends, for Ollie had secretly harbored an immense amount of jealousy towards Lupin for fear that he was taking advantage of Tonks by dating her.
And it didn't help matters also that he felt a great amount of self-hatred towards himself because he continuously kept comparing himself to Remus Lupin.
But it was Lupin who'd shown him just how much he was worth in Tonks's eyes, even as just a friend, and nothing more and nothing less than that.
If it hadn't been for Remus's conversation with him on the rooftop a night ago, when he'd announced his attentions to marry Tonks, Ollie was sure he would have continued this downward spiral into a jealous depression and his self-hatred would have eaten away at bits of his soul until he found nothing about himself redeeming and all that was left in his place was a beast.
Sometimes, he still felt that way, years of an abusive upbringing at Father's hand were instilled in his brain, and such beliefs wouldn't go away overnight.
But such moments were coming to him less and less now. Lupin and Tonks never gave him enough time to feel that part of himself anymore, and he hoped that in time, Norah would join the fray and be another person in his life to fill him with friendship and affection and dare, he even thinks this next part, love.
He had friends. He had a family and yet…it still wasn't enough to keep him feeling like he was missing something, a feeling that continued to eat away at him.
"I—I'm not so sure," he stammered in a hoarse voice, his confession causing both Lupin and Tonks to look at him with raised eyebrows in alarm and concern.
Tonks was the first to break the silence. "What do you mean, Ollie? Did something else happen, then?"
"No, I just…" He stammered, clenching his eyes shut and grinding his teeth in anger as he raked his fingers through his black hair, trying to rid his mind of these dark voices inside his head that belonged to Father.
The bitch isn't good for you, boy. She was put in your path to test your baser desires. You must fight it. Do you understand? Do you honestly think that werewolf saw past your appearance? You're pathetic.
Ollie paused, trying to collect his thoughts. It should have been obvious to him and to everyone else in his life, Lupin, Tonks, and the rest of the Order, that he was a man doomed to spend the rest of his life alone.
Hiding in the black shadows where he knew the bastard son of a vicious, sadistic Death Eater belonged.
But that did not stop Ollie from hoping to shed off the persona that his upbringing had created and live in the light, shunning the beliefs of the Dark Lord and those who followed him. Though he was never quite able to reach that light, no matter how hard he tried.
Father had seen to that. Jack's harsh words, the last time the two had spoken to one another when he'd gone to Father to ask about what he would think of Tonks, if he were to invite her home to meet him, flitted through his mind, though he tried hard to resist the voice.
You're an accursed wretch, boy. A failure. Any lesser man would have drowned you for bringing such shame onto our ancient and noble house. Since I cannot prove that you are not my son, I've no choice but to keep you and call you my son. But no amount of compassion will ever let me allow you to take a partner who isn't of pureblood lineage. You will speak no more to me of these…desires. Get out of my sight, boy, before I flay you until there's no skin left on your bones, you accursed little bastard. Or maybe I'll give you another mark underneath your other eye. Get out.
That had been the extent of their 'conversation' when he'd come home, with the intent to ask Father what he should do in regard to his feelings for Tonks. He'd been younger than, twenty-seven at best.
Stupid. Naïve. Foolish. All those things and more. Father had gotten such a dark look in his eye that Ollie knew never to mention Tonks in front of him again. Even now, as he thought of what Father would think if the bastard were still alive, what he would think of his only son lusting after a Muggle-born werewolf.
Ollie knew he would always want what normal wizards had every day of their lives and took for granted. A family. A partner one day, one he'd marry, maybe even children of his own to prove to himself that he'd be a better father to any children he might have than his father was, the vicious bastard may he rot in Hell, wherever he is, Ollie thought savagely in anger.
"I don't know how it happened, it just…did. I—I couldn't stop myself from asking her to dinner, Tonks."
It had been a little while since he'd come to the pair of them with a problem that he needed to be rectified, but Lupin and Tonks were his friends and of course, they would want to know his thoughts on the events.
And Ollie knew now more than ever, he needed to speak to someone about the strange, foreign feeling igniting in his chest that made him feel breathless, airy.
It was unnatural and like nothing he'd felt before, not even what he'd imagined falling in love with Tonks had been like. And it was definitely not something he could openly discuss freely with Norah, considering she was the source of this foreign feeling he felt. The only option he had left was with these two.
Anguished, he buried his head in his hands and let out a low moan. Still, the remnants of the memories of the last conversation he'd had with Father did not stop the man from feeling a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach, a warmth he'd not felt before, not even in the early days in his then-new friendship with Tonks.
Such a sensation was foreign to the lonely Legilimens, and Ollie had no idea what to do about it.
For he didn't think he could take rejection again a second time. He had, perhaps against his better judgment, given Tonks his heart, and still, to some extent, Ollie guessed, had a hold on his heart even still.
For Tonks was just a friend. And he had to accept that.
The sooner he could accept that Tonks had always been Lupin's, right from the start of their partnership, then the sooner Ollie could move the hell on with his life and put aside his feelings for his friend.
His mind wandered and drifted towards Norah, hopefully still sleeping in the bedroom above their heads, that stubborn prickly blonde she-wolf whose life he and Remus had helped to save and how she'd dared to talk back to him, regardless of the hurt it caused him.
How when those piercing eyes of blue met his gaze, it felt as though Jameson were boring past his eyes and seeing straight through his heart to the depths of his very soul, how the icy-blueness of her gaze generated a feeling like he was being pulled into a lake of frozen emotions. It was like all the myriad shades of blue swirled together to form whirlpools of apprehension, scrutinizing things that Ollie could only dare to dream of seeing within himself someday.
Her blue eyes were easily her best feature, though, in his eyes, every bit of the werewolf was perfect. His suspicions had only been confirmed when she'd not looked away from his face, or more specifically, his burn mark underneath his eye, and had not looked away at all in disgust or fear at seeing his face.
The fair-skinned, fair-haired beauty with the strange behavior of avoiding eye contact whenever someone, particularly himself, was talking to Jameson, though he admittedly wasn't much better in that regard.
And the fact that Norah was kind to him and had forgiven him for the awful way he'd behaved was something of an enigma and a mystery to the man now. A dangerous, beautiful mystery, and he was ensnared.
She—she had…touched him. Kissed his cheek, held his hands, lacing her fingers with his own. Such things…such wonderful, amazing things, he had never imagined them happening to a bastard like him.
Simple, meaningless gestures in the eyes of a normal man, but they meant everything to the broken, abused battered son of Death Eater Jack Brennan now.
Ollie never imagined there to be anything softer than Norah's hands, and yet he felt unclean and unworthy even just thinking about it. When he was near Jameson, the mark under his eye didn't matter.
When Norah looked at him, she saw just him. His eyes, it was as if the mark of abuse at his father's hand did not exist, the twisted marred flesh of his right side didn't matter to her. Almost.
It was still very much a barrier, but almost. To know that such unfailing kindness could be directed towards a bastard like him who did not deserve the woman upstairs as his partner, it was almost too much for the man to grasp the full understanding of. Ollie wasn't a man who expressed any emotion other than anger and annoyance very well.
"What if this was a mistake?" Ollie asked, blearily lifting his head to look at Lupin and Tonks's stunned expressions of disbelief and shock across the table. "What if I…what if I made a mistake by asking?"
His face flushed, heat creeping to his cheeks, and before his attention turned towards Tonks, the person whose advice he wanted more at this moment, he averted his gaze and stared down at the floor instead.
Tonks raised her eyebrows in utter confusion. This was…a first for her mate, she had to admit it.
Seeing Ollie so flustered over a woman was…new, but the young Auror shoved her obtrusive thoughts to the back of her mind. They wouldn't help her here, and Ollie was asking for advice on what to do about Norah.
Tonks exchanged a look with Remus and could tell her fiancé was thinking the same thing she was now.
That Ollie wasn't looking at the floor because he didn't want to meet either one of their gazes, but rather, it was a symptom of his own shamefaced embarrassment. His brow was knitted in a heavy scowl, and his downcast eyes spoke of genuine regret for asking the young blonde witch and wolf to dinner tomorrow night.
But still, Tonks's heart felt lighter than it had yesterday morning when Norah had been admitted, which was saying something. The fact that Ollie was looking so hot and bothered over this meant to her that Ollie was willing to try to get to know Norah. Which was a start. Not much of one, but…a start.
Tonks nodded confidently to herself, a tiny uncertain smile tugging at her lips, though she fought it back down.
"I—I don't understand," she began, speaking slowly but softly, not wanting Ollie to get the wrong message. "What happened to make you think it was a mistake? She said yes to your invitation, didn't she?"
"Yes, but…she—the way she looked at me, I—I don't know what this all means, Tonks," he answered.
Tonks's frown deepened. "What the bloody hell are you talking about? I didn't see anything wrong with the way she was looking at you earlier when you brought her home before she passed out again. Or yesterday, Ol. I think you're being way too hard on yourself and looking to imagine things that aren't there. Give yourself credit where it's due, Ol. You're a handsome bloke. Any witch in her right mind would be incredibly lucky to be with you, Ollie," she muttered, finally shoving away her breakfast plate off to the side, stifling a tiny smile as Lupin took over and picked off her leftovers.
Lupin smiled at Ollie and hoped it was genuine, though deep down, he was worried for Dora's friend.
He'd become entirely too much of a recluse over the last few months, remaining shut upstairs in his room whenever his job at the Department of Mysteries wasn't keeping him busy, or on night duty for the Order.
"I think that you made the right call in inviting her to dinner, Ollie. She's a cute woman, isn't she? Miss Jameson's your partner, after all. If you're going to work alongside her in the Order then, it seems only natural you'd want to get to know her better, and what better way to do that than over dinner?" His curiosity piqued, Lupin couldn't resist asking a follow-up question. "Where are you planning on taking her?"
Ollie blinked, startled, looking surprised that Remus would even ask. A light pink blush speckled along his cheeks as he reached up a hand to scratch at an itch behind his ear, looking contemplative and thoughtful. "That new Muggle Italian place that just opened up a couple of months ago on Shaftesbury Avenue. The food there is supposed to be really good."
Tonks opened her mouth to say something but was interrupted by her cousin sauntering in through the door, looking ecstatic to see Molly had gone out of her way to make breakfast. Sirius helped himself to a plate before sitting down next to Ollie, collapsing into his chair with a rather loud and dramatic sigh, grumbling under his breath about Kreacher and his mum's screaming portrait driving them up the wall, that caused Lupin to shoot Black a rather pointed glower.
Remus waited until Sirius had a bite of food in his mouth before choosing to fill his best friend in on the situation at hand.
"Glad you're here, Sirius. Ollie here has a problem of the ah, female kind, you could say. He's taking his new partner to dinner on Friday."
The stunning look of shock on Padfoot's face was almost worth it, Lupin thought rather smugly, as Sirius choked on his bite of the egg as it went down the wrong pipe, causing Ollie to shoot the man a withering look, though dutifully thumped him on the back until it dislodged, leaving Sirius coughing and gasping for air.
"You're taking Jameson to dinner?" he barked in a hoarse voice, sounding like he couldn't believe it, though Remus knew what he was thinking. That this was quite a turn of events considering the horrible start the two new Order partners had gotten off to a few days ago, and to learn Ollie was taking Norah out to dinner was…. admittedly unexpected but not altogether unwanted.
If anyone could handle Ollie, it was Norah.
"Yes," Tonks interjected before Ollie could fire back with an insult of his own, sensing danger as Ollie's facial muscles tensed and hardened. She let out a tired-sounding sigh and turned back towards Ollie, thinking his matters were more important right now than Sirius's. "I know you're probably doubting yourself, Ol, but you should take her to dinner. See how it goes. One step at a time, and Merlin, for the love of God, please stop second-guessing yourself. It's giving me a headache! You can't just…stay cooped up in Headquarters all the rest of your life and wait for good things to come to you. Sometimes, Ol, you have to take initiative and take a chance, which, I know you won't want to hear this, but you're going to have to do if you want to continue to improve your relationship with her. Norah likes you, I think. She did kiss your cheek after all, and she's pretty cute. I think you two would make a cute couple if things go that far, but if it doesn't, then at least you'll be good partners alongside one another in the Order. I know you weren't looking all that close yesterday when I…when I got us out of that hole," Tonks murmured, a shudder going down her back at the memory, "and you probably couldn't see it, but I could. Remus did, for sure. Don't think we don't pay attention to you, because we do, Ollie. At least, Remus and I do, I can't say the same for Padfoot over here…" Tonks added with a wry smirk, waiting patiently for her older cousin to catch onto her meaning just now.
It took Sirius a moment, but eventually, he caught on. "Hey!" he bellowed irately as a light seemed to ignite in his eyes. "Was that a shot at me, Tonks?"
Tonks smirked and rolled her eyes. "Maybe, Black." Letting a light chuckle escape from her lips, she turned back to Ollie, who was now suddenly looking as though he regretted coming and confiding in her and Lupin now that Sirius was present alongside them. "What the hell was I saying? Oh. Right. Duh. Of course. Norah. Yeah, I don't know where the hell you're getting this information that you think she hates you, but it's slander and it's a thousand percent bullshit, Ollie. Norah likes you. It's in her eyes when she looks at you. You'd be a blind and bloody fool to let this opportunity pass you by, my friend," she sighed, leaning across the table to give his arm an affectionate little squeeze. "You keep coming to me complaining about how you'll never find a witch to love, but this might be your shot, Ollie."
Ollie opened his mouth to argue, but closed it, at a loss for words, opting instead to simply nod his head. His friend was right. It was pointless to argue.
"She could be good for you, Ollie," Lupin interjected as he and Tonks rose from the kitchen, sensing Ollie was growing weary of their conversation and needed time alone with his thoughts. "But only if you let Jameson in all the way," he added, almost sadly.
Their piece said, Lupin moved off to follow Tonks as she headed towards the door, though not before latching onto Sirius's arm and hauling him towards the door, leaving Ollie seated alone in the kitchen to ponder their advice they'd just given him and what to do about his dinner date with the werewolf.
He furrowed his brows into a frown as he watched Tonks's backside until the two retreated and went out the front door of Headquarters, not even flinching as he heard the sound of the crack! of the pair Apparating, probably to head back to their own home.
It still stung even after all this time that Tonks had chosen Lupin over him. It hurt like hell, actually.
But… but…this new girl, Jameson, she… in spite of his promise that he wouldn't think about her in that way, Ollie couldn't help himself as he found his mind wandering to last night and the events before all that.
How Jameson hadn't looked at him with disgust or any kind of scorn. Never had he realized how the blonde witch's blue eyes had the power to catch the beauty of deep oceans glittering in the light of the moon. Cut just right, even the darkest of sapphires couldn't hold a light to the electric fire that burned each rim and shimmered under Norah's glossy blue stare.
Ollie flinched and drew in a sharp breath that pained his lungs as he recollected his first vision of Norah, the moment he'd first spotted her, under the light of that streetlamp. How even unconscious as she had been at the time, her beauty snared him, bewitched him. A tiny spark of hope ignited in his chest as visions of his new partner and excitement at taking her to dinner, but just as quickly as it had come, it was gone.
He should know better than to get his hopes up.
She'll only dash them, came the dark voice, that snakelike voice that sounded entirely too much like his dad for comfort. Break your heart and then where you will be? Alone, again, right back where you started…
Tonks and Lupin had apparently seen something in their interaction with one another the other day the moment Tonks had climbed out of that hole with Norah on her back that he couldn't quite place.
They wanted him to try again to reach the witch.
He wondered what Jameson thought of him, really thought of him, if her perception of him changed. He grimaced, squeezing his eyes shut, willing himself to think of anything else but that little thought.
He'd stopped trying to change people's perceptions of him a long time ago, the moment Father had marked his face with his goddamned Incendio Charm that he tended to favor as a method of punishment. His father's actions had led to years of suffering, people pointing at the gruesome scar on his face, taunting him, whispering, and jeering at him, afraid of him behind his back, but too cowardly to say it to his face, afraid of his father's inherited temper.
Pained, he looked towards the window out at the sky, the skies dull and grievous, though what else was new? He rested his head in his hands for support. As Ollie continued his pensive staring out the window, he wondered what it would be like to have a woman who would truly love him, much in the same manner that Tonks loved Lupin.
The dark thoughts were swirling around his mind, casting doubt and ire.
She's probably just being nice, she didn't want to offend you. Afraid of your temper; Jameson doesn't like you. It's going to be a disaster. Just wait and see…
Now the voice that was talking was not that of his father's, yet an all-too-familiar voice. His own. He didn't try to brush it away this time. Norah Jameson, the beautiful wolf who'd captured his attention and interest. She'd left a hell of an impression on him, and was a girl with a beautiful smile and an even more wonderful laugh…
She deserved better than a bastard like him.