Chapter Thirty-Four - On to Alfheim

Natasha stared off across the palace grounds while she mulled over all that Clint had shared about Hel, Niflheim and his recent visions. Though mindful that the team prepared to leave for the realm of the Light Elves, Clint didn't want to rush her.

"Tell me what he looked like," she requested, her eyes softening.

The boy. That's where her mind has fixated.

"He had light brown hair and some freckles. His eyes were blue-green like mine." Clint gave a shrug. "I don't know. He was little—and the cutest thing I've ever seen."

This comment made Natasha smile. "Maybe you shouldn't come with us to Alfheim."

He tried not to be annoyed by her concern as she'd have both his and the team's welfare in mind. There was always the integrity of the mission to consider, but he wasn't going to stay behind. "I'm fine," Clint insisted, choosing not to mention that he'd taken more painkillers for his latest headache since it would only worry her. "We need as many drivers and soldiers as we can get."

"No, you are not fine."

Clint gripped Natasha at the hips, pulling her close. "I'm touched that you're so worried about me, but you know I'm a terrible patient. Leaving me here in the healing room just isn't gonna happen."

She stepped out of his reach. "You're going to end up blind."

"We don't know that for sure."

"The dark glasses, reports read over the computer—it seemed pretty clear to me. Frigga warned you that this power will be addictive. Have Odin take it away now before you can't help yourself."

"I will, but not yet. If I can get a handle on it, even for a little while, it could be the advantage we need against Jahla and Bad Loki."

Natasha studied him with worried, conflicted eyes. "Clint, your sister nearly died because of her power. Don't take the risk."

"I'm coming. So, please tell me how we're going to work this out?"

"You could try not being a stubborn jerk."

He showed his irritation for only a moment, not wanting to continue the argument. If Natasha felt the need to point out his behavior, Clint knew to take heed. "I'll work on that," he promised. "Come on."

They headed back into the command center to find that Sif and the spymaster's daughters had returned. "We found a shopkeeper who had the festival necklaces," Sif reported, holding up a handful of colorful, metal charms.

"Gather round guys," Clint called out, demanding everyone's attention from their current tasks.

Natasha asked, "You're sure the Zovodna are going to know what these mean?"

"Yes," Diani assured her. "These necklaces are commonly worn at large events to identify people."

Sif sorted out two golden sun tokens and handed one each to Lloyd and Montoya. "It is the symbol for sages and healers." Next she passed out rectangular charms of dark blue with an x shape in the center to nearly everyone else who fell solely into the warrior category. Diani and Mitzi slipped on their own red triangular charms then offered the same to Loki and Bruce.

"I'm not so sure I should be wearing a shapeshifter charm," Loki whispered with unease to Clint.

"You agreed we should be completely honest to avoid misunderstandings," Clint said. "The twins know you lost your abilities and still didn't ask. Maybe the Zovodna won't either."

Clint examined his mage charm with interest. It was a purple circle with swirling designs inside. In that moment, he thought he must be feeling the same uncertainty Loki did.

"We're down a STAV without Cami to drive," Stott pointed out. "We don't have enough seats for this many and the cargo trailer isn't designed to comfortably carry passengers."

Natasha jumped in to organize things. "Banner, Shale and Montoya will remain here with Cami to handle her debriefing, monitor the command center and keep S.H.I.E.L.D. informed as necessary."

"Mitzi and I can fly," Diani offered. "It will be easier for us to scout ahead that way."

Sif handed a purple mage charm to Bruce. "It's for Cami. If we can speak with the spirit mage, she might need it."

Bruce nodded and pocketed the necklace.

King Odin stood near the door to the corridor, preparing to leave on his own business. "Heimdall will keep me apprised of your progress," he said. "I wish you luck."

The group grabbed their gear, loaded up and drove out to the bifrost where Instead of making alternating trips to get everyone and the vehicles to Alfheim, Kotter talked Clint into transporting occupied vehicles, which resulted in no injuries or equipment damage, just some unsettled nerves.

"Eyes and ears alert," Clint said through the open comm line as the silver vehicles started across the grasslands of the southern province of Alfheim. "Save your fuel. Run off the batteries for now and get your displays up."

"I'm attempting to track heat signatures," Stott said. "It's hot out there."

"The temperature isn't much hotter than Arizona," Kotter pointed out. "The instruments can handle it. They just need to recalibrate after being in Asgard."

"On solar power we're gonna max out at about sixty miles an hour," Clint commented as he caught up with Loki who was leading. "How far do we need to go to reach this village?"

"Not quite that far, but we don't want to outrun Diani and Mitzi," Loki said. "I don't suggest speeding up until we reach the edge of the grasslands."

The group settled into the long drive with Sif and the Warriors Three filling the time with humorous stories of their past journeys into Alfheim. Then Loki broke into the line to report their destination was ahead and the twins were circling.

"We've got a few heat signatures beyond the tree line," Stott reported.

"Okay. Let's park 'em," Clint said. "It's time to get serious and remember our manners."

The group unloaded their gear as they climbed out of the STAVs, making sure that all safety measures were in place before laying everything out on the ground in front of them. This was to be a show of good faith and attempted transparency, which, according to the twins, would win them points with the Zovodna.

The twins swooped in, shifting from their bird forms to join the group. "They will watch us for a while," Mitzi said, scanning the trees.

"Alright," Clint said, shrugging to the team. "Let's get comfortable." Only about a half hour passed, but with the humidity and sunlight directly on them, time seemed to drag on. They were sharing canteens of water when Clint noticed movement at the tree line. "Hey, we're on."

Everyone's gaze shifted toward the forest to see a group equal in size to their own striding from the shadows and concealment of the trees. The Elves wore minimal leather garments. their tanned, bared skin marked with natural colored paints for camouflage. Each held out their weapons, which consisted mainly of knives and bows, so they could be seen.

"Everyone stand slowly," Diani told them. "Step back from our weapons."

Clint tried to be calm as he followed these instructions. He dropped the canteen in his hand beside his bow and quiver before backing away. He noted Natasha's brave expression on his left. To his right, Loki didn't look as confident.

One of the Elves, a tall and lean man with two white and brown striped feathers tied into his long hair, started to speak while he was at quite a distance, but still moving forward. His language sounded strange and his words authoritative.

"He wants to know who the group leader is," Diani said.

"Clint is the leader," Natasha replied.

Diani passed this information along as Clint took a slight step forward.

A long exchange followed with Diani speaking to the Zovodna and Mitzi translating for those in Clint's group who didn't understand. A cautious explanation of who they were, where they came from and what they wanted was offered amid questions, inspections of their gear and lots of critical looks from the Elves.

"What?" Clint asked Loki when he tensed in response to Diani saying his name. Similar surprised reactions arose from Sif and the Warriors Three. Hawkeye looked between them for an explanation, repeating, "What?"

When Loki didn't respond, Sif said, "Diani told them that Loki and Cami are to be married."

Mitzi leaned in, her fair brow furrowing. "The king's messenger told us the news."

Clint confronted Loki. "You two are engaged?! Since when?"

"That is a rumor," Loki said with slight desperation and obvious discomfort to have the entire team staring at him.

Clint tried to clarify. "Then you're not engaged?"

Before Loki could answer, the Elf with the feathers stepped closer. He spoke in a harsh tone, gesturing between Clint and Loki.

Mitzi said, "He wants to know what you two are saying."

Clint answered in a bit of a huff, "He didn't tell me anything about an engagement. So, I'm trying to decide if I should forgive or shoot him."

Loki frowned, releasing a soft sigh of aggravation as Diani translated.

The Elves studied Clint and Loki in turn before breaking out in smiles and chuckles. The Elf with the feathers found the interaction quite amusing and let the group know that they would be allowed to enter the village to speak with their leader, Saizon.

Relieved with the decision and eager to move on with their mission, Clint let Loki walk away without further discussion.

Driving through the dense forest proved a little tricky—even with the Specialized Terrain Assault Vehicles—because they didn't want to carelessly tear up the terrain. Since their displays warned them of obstructions and severe changes in the path ahead, options for safe passage were found and navigated. Some of the Zovodna rushed ahead to inform the village of their arrival while others actually rode along to get an up-close view of the technology. Either way, those who traveled in on foot made somewhat quicker progress.

Trawick, otherwise known as the Elf with the two feathers, chose to ride in with Clint and gave an impressed smile once they parked and climbed out. He carried a wooden bow and hand-stitched leather quiver and insisted through his hand signals that Clint should bring his own bow along.

"So far so good," Natasha said to Clint as they met up again for the last few strides into the village proper past huts made of mud, grass, branches and logs.

Clint cast a severe look over his shoulder at Loki.

"Don't get all bent out of shape," Natasha advised, touching his forearm. "I'm sure Cami would have told us if he'd proposed."

Numerous Elves had packed into the village center by the time the team filtered in with their guides. Trawick introduced them to the clan's leader, Saizon, who appeared quite elderly in appearance. To Clint's relief, Saizon spoke the Common tongue of the realms.

"My warriors have told me of your need," Saizon said after quick introductions. He called into the crowd, gesturing for two of his people to come closer. "This is Jorn, our spirit healer, and his mate Mahlora, who can make blood magics. They will try to help you and your sister."

Natasha stood at Clint's side. He could tell her mind was at work, evaluating the coincidence of finding both a spirit and blood mage among the Zovodna.

"Thank you," Clint said. "We are mighty appreciative."

"We have never met anyone from Midgard." Saizon sounded pleased as he said, "Your group has been respectful of our ways; and we will not turn away new friends. My people will prepare a celebration in your honor."

Clint was willing to pursue a friendship with the Zovodna. In his opinion, Earth could use as many allies as possible in the nine realms.

"We should send for Cami," Sif suggested to Clint and Natasha. "With haste, she can get here before nightfall."

Loki insisted that he be the one to return to Asgard to fetch her, but Clint did not agree. Queen Frigga had made it clear that both Clint and Loki should stay away from Cami because they might trigger another incident with her cursed magic.

"Then I will go after Lady Camille," Mitzi volunteered. "I can carry her swiftly in my horse form."

Clint and Natasha agreed that Mitzi would go, the one stipulation being that Cami would report in on a comm once they were in range. With a nod of agreement, Mitzi sprinted out of the village and took to the air as a hawk just before she got out of Clint's range of sight.

"Heimdall, if you can hear me," Clint said, looking up into the canopy created by the trees that significantly helped to block the sunshine. "Mitzi is coming for Cami. The Zovodna are going to try to help."

Natasha and Dr. Lloyd followed as Jorn and Mahlora led Clint to their hut. The couple were older members of the clan and spoke some Common. So, between them, they could understand most of Clint's concerns and answers as they asked questions.

Jorn put his hand in the center of Clint's chest, but Mahlora stared with great focus into his eyes. "In Midgard," Jorn said, "the people do not live long. Yes?"

"Well," Clint said, feeling oddly offended by the question, "we're kinda used to it. Some people can live as long as a century, but most don't."

Jorn asked, "How many years are you?"

"Thirty-two."

"His eyes hurt," Mahlora said, and then continued in a rapid flood of Elven words to Jorn.

Clint asked, "What about my eyes?"

"She says your magic is too strong and wild. It has damaged your eyes," Jorn said. "The more you use the power, the more damage will be done."

Natasha shot him a critical look from where she stood off to the side.

"The visions just happen. I don't have any control over them."

Mahlora nodded, looking grim.

Dr. Lloyd asked, "Is there a way to repair and stop further damage to his eyes?"

The couple collaborated in their native tongue, leaving Clint to worry as their tones hinted at the gravity of the situation. Jorn answered, "We do not know. We can try to fix the damage and focus his power more."

Mahlora pulled a knife from her belongings. "I need blood." She pointed to Natasha, asking Clint, "Use her?"

"No." Clint stepped in front of Natasha who looked a little disconcerted. "Just use mine."

Dr. Lloyd eyed the situation, looking perplexed. "Is the knife needed? I can draw blood and cause far less injury."

"The blood blade is magic," Jorn explained. "It will make the spell stronger."

"Whatever," Clint said. The longer they delayed this, the more time he had to think, worry and doubt. He did as they asked, lying down on the woven mat indicated.

Dr. Lloyd gripped his med kit, looking alert as the Elves knelt down beside Clint.

"What are you going to do to him?" Natasha asked, also getting down.

"Only what is needed," Jorn promised. Then Mahlora leaned close to start the first cut on Clint's forehead.

It had been hours since Cami returned from Niflheim and the team left for Alfheim. After informing her of Clint's condition and the team's mission, Bruce and Dr. Montoya subjected her to their own version of good cop/bad cop while they debriefed her about the events between Bad Loki's attack on her at the helicarrier and the rescue from Hel in the Underworld. Cami endured the stress and blow to her confidence as long as she could, but finally broke into silent tears when Dr. Montoya gave her yet another critical, disappointed glare and scribbled fervently in her notebook.

Frigga remained through the questioning, administering Cami's burn treatments first then working on her singed hair. The bottom foot or so had been too badly damaged and required cutting.

"Let her be," the queen said, coming to Cami's rescue. "She has had enough."

Dr. Banner rose from the bench. "Sorry. We needed this information. There are motivations and clues in these interactions you've had."

Montoya scratched away at her notes. Cami asked her, "Is this the last nail in my career's coffin?"

The psychologist shifted forward, clasping her hands in front of her. "If I was investigating you specifically, Miss Barton, I wouldn't have been nearly this nice. Yes, you might be done with S.H.I.E.L.D. by the time this all settles, but for now, you are a valued member of the team."

Gee thanks, Cami thought, feeling much too upset to take any comfort from the psychologist's brutal honesty. She considered Bruce before asking, "Did Fury send you to beat the crap out of Bad Loki?"

Bruce looked away as an embarrassed smile contorted his mouth. "No, nothing like that?" he said with a guilty chuckle.

"I asked Dr. Banner to come here for you," Montoya said. "I think he understands what you're going through much better than the rest of us."

"Oh." Cami was intrigued.

"We'll take a break," Bruce said. "Then we'll talk alone, if that's alright?"

Cami sniffled and gave him a sort of nod/shrug. Luckily, he had been the nicer of the two interrogators or she wouldn't have agreed to one-on-one time with him at all.

The queen wrapped Cami in her blanket. "Let's get you out of this stuffy room for a bit." She led her out of the healing room and through the castle to her own suite. From there, they continued into the unoccupied bedroom that her sons had shared as small children. Despite her pain and the lingering chill of the Underworld that seemed to have permanently settled into the folds of her blanket, Cami forgot her troubles for a time and took in the room with eager fascination.

Two small canopy beds, one with medium blue curtains and blankets and the other with emerald green, took up one side of the room. Cami enjoyed the vibrant colors and studied with delight the scenes of stout warriors, larger-than-life monsters and whimsical, fairytale creatures carved and painted on the furniture. A soft rug covered the main section of the open floor. Two wooden rocking horses stood along the opposite wall beside a short table with matching chairs, a sturdy bookshelf and trunks overflowing with impressive handcrafted toys.

Cami imagined two boys, one fair-haired and the other dark, stretching out on the rug to play together. It was a heartwarming but contrived scene that didn't satisfy or cheer her as much as she'd intended. She'd thought that she shouldn't ask questions about Loki, but Cami realized there were things about him that she wanted to know; and Frigga was a more credible source than most.

Of course, Frigga's sudden desire to bring her here couldn't be coincidental.

"What was Loki like as a child?" Cami asked, approaching the green bed.

"Often quiet, contemplative, curious and somewhat softhearted," Frigga said. "Loki liked books, puzzles, riddles and anything he could build with."

"I can believe that about him."

She eased onto the bed as the queen came over to sit in a rocking chair between the beds. Frigga told Cami, "When I read stories to the boys at night, Loki would fight to stay awake, knowing I would keep reading until he fell asleep."

"He was very different from Thor, I imagine."

Frigga shook her head with affectionate exasperation. "Thor was demanding, loud, rambunctious, energetic and destructive. I can't recall the number of times we had to fix something in here because Thor had been pretending to fight Frost Giants, Fire Demons or the like."

Cami climbed off the small bed when she spotted a free standing mirror in the far corner. She crossed to it to inspect her scarred features and blunt bob hairstyle for the first time. Her chest constricted at the sight and within seconds she started to cry again.

Frigga joined her at the mirror. "The scars will heal." She touched Cami's head, running her fingers through the short locks. "In time, your hair will grow back strong and even more beautiful."

Failing to contain her emotions, Cami asked with a soft, downhearted sob, "How can I be this vain? I should be glad I'm alive."

"Do not be so hard on yourself," the queen said. "You have been through quite an ordeal."

Cami's thoughts turned to Hel, only half alive and trapped in Niflheim. She tried to tell herself that she didn't have the right to carry on so when there were others with much worse circumstances.

"Are Clint and I going to be alright?"

Frigga managed to maintain her calm, comforting tone. "It's a complicated situation."

With a nod, Cami accepted the vagueness of her answer as proof that the queen didn't make promises lightly.

Cami napped on the little green bed until Bruce arrived for their chat, which Cami found enlightening because he let her ask him questions and didn't appear to hold anything back about his true feelings for S.H.I.E.L.D., the Avengers, and the life he was forced to leave behind. In turn, he asked her some pretty personal questions too, but conveyed such trustworthiness that Cami believed her confessions would go no further.

They probably could have talked for hours more, but the queen and Mitzi interrupted them. Cami kept pleasant during the introduction to the shapeshifter, but as soon as she heard the plan for Mitzi to carry her for miles across Alfheim to meet up with the others, her mood soured.

"I've got painful scars all over my body," she explained, "and I'm not an experienced rider. Can't we take the last STAV? I mean, I did train to drive one."

Mitzi was not against this suggestion. So, once Cami changed into a lightweight, brown dress and cloak of Frigga's choosing, packed her stuff and received her charm necklace, the women were off to the bifrost to soon be racing across the grasslands of Alfheim. Once in communicator range, Cami managed to get Agent Stott on the line and gave him an estimate of their arrival time.

Both Loki and Stott met them at the edge of the forest. Pulling her hood up over her face, Cami climbed painfully out of the STAV. Loki drew close, but said nothing as Gary took the driver's seat and headed into the trees with Mitzi to park with the other vehicles.

"Are you going to come out from under there?" Loki whispered to her, tugging lightly on the hem of the hood.

"No. I'm hideous."

His hand slipped into her hood, sliding carefully down her cheek and jaw until his fingers curled around her chin. He lifted her face with gentle insistence, easing back the material until their eyes met. "Since when do scars make a bit of difference to either of us?"

Cami leaned back, pulling her chin out of his grasp. "Do I disappoint you?"

"Anyone would be upset to wake and find that a terrible injury had befallen them."

She tugged the hood back into place as she pointed out, "You choose to hide your scars." Though she could no longer see his features, Cami sensed that she'd hurt his feelings, and knew he would feel guilty and try to apologize, which upset her as well. Leaning into him, she begged, "Just hold me."

There was no hesitation on his part to follow through on her request. Loki picked her up, allowing her to hide under the hood and bury her face against his neck while he carried her into the village. With her long, flowing sleeves, skirt and cloak, it was unlikely the Elves could see any of her scarred flesh in passing.

"There's been some confusion about our rumored betrothal," Loki forewarned her. "Clint is not pleased."

Cami uttered a soft growl, but said nothing. The rumor was the least of her problems right then.

"Where are we going?"

Loki said, "To see Clint."

Her brother was asleep when they slipped into the hut where he'd been moved after his procedure. Natasha sat at his side on her own mat, looking weary and worried as the last remnants of the setting sun shined on her features through the breaks in the wall.

Cami pushed back her hood to examine Clint's relaxed features. "Is he okay?"

"Both the spirit and blood mage have worked on him," Natasha whispered. "He was exhausted from the pain and loss of blood. Dr. Lloyd got him comfortable."

Cami lowered her tone. "Did they cure him then?"

"No," Natasha admitted with a sigh. "He should have more control of his power now, but it's going to harm his eyes a little bit every time he uses it. There's already been damage done that they weren't able to heal completely. Jorn did say his headaches won't be as consistent though, or the high blood pressure."

"Is there anything I can do?"

"Not really. Just let him sleep."

Loki stepped out of the hut as Kotter came over to speak with him. When he returned, he asked Natasha, "Are you staying with him tonight?"

"Yeah."

"Kotter and Stott are setting up the tents. Cami can share with me, if that's alright."

Natasha nodded, looking a little weirded out that Loki asked her for permission, but standard procedure did dictate that the men and women be separated during overnight missions.

Dan and Gary had a tent ready for them when Cami and Loki walked into their makeshift camp within the village boundaries. The tents were self-inflating with built in air mattresses over hard flooring. They had heating and air conditioning too, but would need to run off a battery and the group had to conserve power whenever possible.

Cami noted that someone had placed their packs and her staff inside the tent as she climbed in.

Loki remained outside, but crouched down. "The heat in there is going to be stifling; and it's early for bed. Are you sure you want to hide in the tent all evening? The Zovodna have invited us to feast with them."

Cami glared with annoyance. "You are lecturing me about socializing now?"

He took a moment to decide how he was going to react. He said with some understanding, "I might deserve your anger, but these people have offered us friendship and assistance with your condition. I don't think it's out of line to expect you to spend some time with them tonight."

He was right about the heat collecting in the tent. Cami sweated beneath her layers. Uncomfortable and angry that he was lecturing her after all she'd been through recently, Cami refused to budge or answer him.

"Silent treatment," Loki muttered. "Wonderful. Well, my dear, you play the part of a bratty princess perfectly." He dropped the tent flap and walked away, leaving her to stew.

Loki brooded through dinner. Too hot within his leather jacket, unnerved by the immensity of the gathering and agitated by the exchange with Cami, miserable best described his mood. Though surrounded by people he could count as friends, Loki wanted to be with her, even if she was unhappy with him. Sif had taken Cami some food earlier in the evening, and Dr. Lloyd administered her medications. So, Loki filled his canteen with fresh water to share before excusing himself and making his way to the tent.

Cami had stripped down to her underwear, yet lounged under the cloak reading his grimoire by flashlight when Loki climbed into the hot tent and secured the flap. He shed his own clothes before lying down on his side, also glancing over the pages.

"Looking for a nasty spell to use on me?" he teased.

Her response was a soft and flat, "No."

"You're probably not a shadow mage anyway."

"What am I then?"

"I don't know. We might learn more once we get you straightened out. If you'd come to the feast, you could have met Jorn and Mahlora."

"I decided a time out was more appropriate."

Loki touched her hair, which made her features fall even more. "It's different," he admitted, "but not unattractive."

"Is that a lie to make me feel better?"

The irony of her question made him chuckle. "Me? Lie? Never."

She closed the book, setting it aside so she could give him her full attention. "Sorry for being a brat."

"Sorry I called you one. I was irritated."

"Me too."

A long silence followed until Cami chose to change the subject. "Is there anything we can do to help Hel leave Niflheim?"

"I don't believe so. I tried for centuries to find a way to get her out of that place, but the barrier won't allow it. She is the queen of the realm and it owns her."

"How did we get out?" she asked, referring to her recent rescue.

"Sleipnir. It is one of his gifts, but not for Hel. He tried carrying her out once. She struck the barrier and fell from a great height. I spent weeks in her hall afterwards, healing her injuries."

Cami cringed with his words. "She is lonely and misses her brothers. Could we arrange a visit for her with them?"

Heavy, scalding emotion flooded his system with this question, bringing so many memories and regrets to bear that Loki was stunned that he'd managed to cope and suppress them for so many centuries. When he did not answer after several moments, Cami asked him what was wrong.

"Too much to explain right now." He made promises to himself that he would give these matters their due attention once he had more say in how his time was spent.

Cami planted a kiss on his cheek. "Does my tendency to inject myself into your family business upset you?"

He felt the edges of his mouth lift into what probably looked like an uncertain grin. "Inject—a more innocent sounding word than meddle." He chuckled.

"Guess you can't be too mad. You're laughing."

"My daughter steals your soul away to the Underworld where she terrorizes you for days, and your reaction is to try and help her. Honestly, woman, where did I find you?"

"I think I found you."

"You're right, of course. One of these days you should tell me what all this care and meddling is going to cost me."

Her eyes grew wide with excitement as she asked, "Are you offering me a bribe?"

He shook his head, continuing to laugh at her. "A bribe would suggest I want you to stop what you are doing."

"Then you approve?"

"I accept that you cannot help yourself when faced with the injustice and suffering of others. Let us leave it at that."

Cami agreed then whined, casting off the cloak. "Ugh, it's so hot. Why would the Frost Giants ever choose to come here? Wouldn't they die in this heat?"

"The heat is unpleasant for them," Loki admitted, handing her his full canteen, "but they can regulate their body temperatures to cope for short periods of time."

She took some sips of water. "Then you could do that too," she said, stretching to put the canteen back where he'd kept it.

"Perhaps," Loki said, knowing that he could do it if he took on his Jotun form.

She looked at him, her gaze expectant.

"No."

"Please? If you shift it will help cool me off too. No one is going to see."

"I don't want to."

She turned off the flashlight then rolled away, getting still and quiet less than a foot from him, but it felt like a wide chasm of hot, tension-filled space.

Why do I bother? Loki thought with exasperation. He had this habit of giving into her demands, which likely reinforced in her mind that it was acceptable for her to manipulate him.

She only asked, he further thought in response to this determination, like he was nonsensically debating himself. You choose to interpret her silence as pouting.

"Loki?" Cami asked after several moments had passed.

"Yes?"

Her voice sounded drowsy. "Go to sleep. I'm not mad."

Is she reading my mind now? he wondered, feeling a bit pleased along with his astonishment. "How did you—?" he started to ask, but realized her breathing had changed. She might be asleep or very close to it.

Loki assumed he'd have more trouble dozing off, but once he remembered that Niflheim awaited him with its frigid temperatures, he found a comfortable position and let himself be drawn away from the heat.

To his surprise, he appeared within Hel's hall instead of out in the wastes. As always, serpents inhabited the hall, but now the place had an atmosphere of abandonment, lacking the furniture, tapestries and fine touches that Hel had proudly maintained for so long.

"Hel?" he called out, looking for her between the entry doors and the small archway into her private chambers. Then, without thinking, he started for the arch, only to come to a halt when he realized that he wasn't paralyzed like previous nights and could make out his own glowing form dressed in a S.H.I.E.L.D. uniform. "Hel?!" he called again, passing through the arch and taking the short hall in long strides to find his daughter tucked into bed. Though her red, swollen eyes shifted in acknowledgement of his arrival, she did not actually look at him. There was sadness and fatigue in her appearance.

Loki went to her bedside. "Are you ill?" The magic of Niflheim had kept her from sickness in the past. So, it wasn't likely.

"What has happened?" he asked when she did not answer and cupped her cheek in his hand, wishing he could actually feel her skin with his touch.

Her voice lacked the usual strength. "Would you kill me if I asked?"

"No," Loki snapped, quick to anger. He added with a swell of sadness, "You are my daughter. I could never."

"I beg you." Tears glistened in her eyes. "End my suffering in this place. Take me in battle so I may have a warrior's death and be welcomed into the grand halls of Valhalla with the forefathers of Odin."

Loki sat on the edge of her bed, trying to find order within the chaos of his thoughts. There was too much to organize and nothing he could reasonably argue that wouldn't sound selfish.

"The night you were born, Angrboda and I had a terrible quarrel," he began, unsure from where the urge to tell her this story came. "I left her, intent to invite myself to someone's grand feast. Eat and drink to excess. Then perhaps find comfort in someone else's arms; but I returned."

"Why?" she asked, seeming only to humor him with the prompt.

"A strong feeling of dread that I couldn't ignore. I rushed back to find your mother laboring in excruciating pain and losing far too much blood. When you would not arrive, she begged me to cut you from her womb and even then, you did not breathe."

"Was I dead?"

"Yes, you were, but we would not accept it. For days we poured our magic into your tiny body until finally a spark of life ignited inside and you began to cry. You see, I cannot destroy that which I toiled so hard to save."

Hel laid for a long while, keeping her troubled gaze averted from Loki and not asking the questions that plagued her mind. She took in a deep, revitalizing breath. "I asked your double to give me a new life away from this place," Hel confessed. "It is a hope doomed to fail like all the others."

He wondered how Hel had figured Cami into this request, but knew better than to mention her at that moment. The here and now had to be all about Hel if he was to get her through the night. He smoothed her long hair and wiped her tears, actions that he realized he could only perform because she allowed him to do so. Then he started another story from her early childhood, sharing precious details that he knew would interest and encourage her to make inquiries. Her mood brightened as his stories of admiration went on, and finally Hel drifted to sleep.

Loki remained at her bedside, worrying that her despair might someday cause her to ask Bad Loki to take her life and he would choose to grant that wish.