A/N: Hope you're all having a wonderful day! I present to you the next installment of our fearless leader and the silver fox. In which Gibbs makes one of the most difficult decisions of his life to help the woman he loves. Hope you enjoy!
At times, madness creeps in slowly. A gradual progression, marked by several small isolated incidents that become more frequent as time passes. Sometimes, it occurs suddenly; the flipping of a switch in the mind, leading to strange outbursts and causing concern among loved ones and strangers alike. Other times still, madness approaches in an odd combination of both, consisting of gradual incidents all leading up to a psychological break that once done, cannot be repaired.
For Jennifer Shepard-Gibbs, the onset of madness was this last. The constant roller-coaster of highs and lows had always been a simple fact of her life, though this made it no more bearable, and when she finally experienced that defining break which separates Bipolar I from Bipolar II, it happened so suddenly that no one had time to prepare. Least of all, Jenny herself. If anyone had told her that her life was going to take the turn it did, she would have waved off their concerns in blatant disbelief. Or perhaps denial.
There was nothing to suggest that the morning of November 15th would be any different than the days before it. It wasn't a significant date, held no sentimental value to either Jenny nor her husband, and as such, she began her morning as she always did. The sun was shining, the weather crisp though not unbearable, and she found herself absentmindedly humming as she poured her morning coffee. She'd stayed at her house with her sister, as Gibbs was currently working a case, and the younger redhead gave her a strange look as she entered the kitchen, confused by her good mood.
"Jenny?"
"Good morning, Heather! Isn't it a beautiful day?"
Heather frowned, giving Miranda a bemused glance as she walked up behind her. The other woman didn't yet understand what was going on, and merely smiled at her.
"Morning, Jenny."
"Miranda! How are you? I was just pouring coffee, do either of you want any?"
"No, thanks," Heather answered carefully, "Jenny...are you okay?"
"Fine."
Jenny spun on her heel, picking up her coffee, and as she walked into the living room, passing the other two women with a smile, Heather shook her head. It wasn't as though Jenny was never in a good mood, but seeing her this way, so clearly manic and grandiose, made her sister more than a little concerned. Gesturing for her girlfriend to follow, the younger Shepard made her way into the living room, watching her sister as she spun around the room in time with the music playing on her phone.
"Heather, come dance with me! Like we used to when we were little."
Shaking her head, Heather pulled out her own phone, for once thankful that Jenny couldn't see her.
"No, thanks. I'm still half-asleep."
Jenny frowned for a split second, then smiled again, shaking her head.
"Miranda, what about you? Will you dance with me?"
Utterly bewildered, the younger woman nodded slowly, glancing at her girlfriend as she walked closer.
"Um...sure, Jenny. As long as Heather doesn't mind."
Jenny laughed, waving her words away.
"Heather knows I'd never try to steal her girl. Besides, I'm married, remember?"
Her sister wasn't paying them the slightest bit of attention, her eyes glued to her phone as she texted Gibbs, standing in the doorway to the kitchen.
Jethro, where are you?
Got a case. Kind of busy.
Heather rolled her eyes just as Jenny spun Miranda in a circle, laughing as she pulled her closer.
"You know, I really do love your perfume, Miranda. What is it?"
At Heather's encouraging nod, Miranda answered her, voice betraying her confusion.
"It's called Twisted Peppermint. Has hints of vanilla as well as the mint."
The song Jenny had been playing switched to one with an even more up-tempo beat, and she smiled, grabbing Miranda's wrist to pull her to the center of the room. Heather fired off another text to her sister's husband, more than a little annoyed that he hadn't yet figured out that something was wrong.
Call me. Now. It's important. Concerns Jenny.
She knew, by throwing her sister's name into the conversation, he would pick up on her urgency and sure enough, her phone began to ring seconds later. She stepped into the kitchen, her eyes never leaving the two still in the living room, and kept her voice low enough that Jenny wouldn't hear.
"Took you long enough."
"What's wrong with Jen?"
"She's lost her fucking mind, that's what. She's literally dancing around the living room with my girlfriend."
"She's happy. So?"
"She's not just happy, Jethro," Heather snapped, rolling her eyes, "She's acting like she's high off her ass on cocaine. And speaking as a former user, that's saying a lot. I'm taking her to see her doctor. Think it might be a good idea if you met us there."
Each second that ticked by without a response made her more nervous than the last, and when Gibbs finally spoke again, she let out a sigh of relief.
"I'll be there as soon as I can."
"Thank you."
After hanging up her phone, Heather returned to the living room, trying to keep her voice light as she spoke, not wanting to alert her sister to her plans.
"Hey, Jenny...do you want to go get breakfast with Miranda and me? I'll buy."
Jenny smiled, letting go of Miranda's hand and bounding for the stairs with surprising agility for a woman who couldn't see where she was going.
"That sounds great! Let me go get dressed, and I'll be right down."
As soon as the older woman had disappeared into her bedroom, Miranda looked at her girlfriend worriedly, her voice low to keep Jenny from possibly hearing her.
"Heather...what's wrong with her?"
Heather sighed.
"Jenny's bipolar. Literally. Right now, she's having a manic episode, and given how low she's been the last few weeks, I think it's a good idea for her to see her doctor. I don't want something to happen to her because she suddenly has the energy and will to do it."
"That must be really difficult for her to deal with. And you, too. Is there anything I can do to help?"
Heather was touched by the question, and smiled as she gave Miranda a light kiss.
"Just keep doing what you're doing. Having you here, staying calm, it means so much. And it makes it easier. All things considered, we're pretty lucky. Jethro's the one who's married to her. He probably sees much more of this than we do. Speaking of which, he's going to meet us at her doctor's office. I called him while Jenny was dancing with you."
Jenny came back down the stairs, her hair, make up and wardrobe perfect, making her feel even more proud of herself than before. She'd successfully managed to navigate her way through her closet and supplies, surprising herself with her ability to apply her makeup without being able to see. She reached for her jacket as her feet touched the landing, and when Heather grabbed her keys, Miranda gave her an encouraging smile.
The elder Shepard was practically skipping as she let her sister lead her to the car, and when she climbed into the passenger seat, her foot tapped rapidly on the floor of the vehicle. She was talking nonstop, though neither Heather or Miranda had the slightest idea of what she was talking about, and as Heather put the car in gear, she met Miranda's eyes in the rear view mirror. She still felt slightly guilty for deceiving Jenny, but one look at her sister bouncing in her seat quickly drove those thoughts from her mind.
"—and Beth says that Zelda's finally sitting up on her own, and she's starting to laugh more, which makes McGee so happy that he can't stand it. I just wish I could see her. Jethro says she's absolutely beautiful, and I hate knowing that I'll never know what she looks like. But, who knows? With the way medical advances are being made, maybe there will be something a few years from now that can restore my vision. It's unlikely, but I can hope. Right? Is that unreasonable?"
"Not at all," Miranda said gently, "It's only natural you want to be able to see your goddaughter, and you're right. Anything is possible these days."
Jenny smiled, turning in her seat to face Miranda, her unseeing eyes still warm as they looked in her general direction.
"You're sweet. It's no wonder Heather likes you. For what it's worth, I like you, too. Not that you need my approval, of course, but I'm glad she has you. You've been good for her, and I'm so happy for you."
Miranda gave her a smile, and nodded.
"She's been good for me, too. And you're not so bad yourself, Big Red."
Jenny laughed, thoroughly amused by the nickname, and shook her head.
"I like that. I'm guessing Heather is Little Red?"
"Yep."
Heather brought the car to a stop as they reached their destination, and she turned to look at them both, her eyes serious.
"I'm going to go in and let them know we might take a bit longer. Be right back."
Jenny nodded, resuming the humming she'd been doing earlier in the day, and as the younger woman walked into the building, she took a deep breath. Knocking lightly on the closed door in front of her, she prayed Dr. Lentz wasn't with a patient, and when it opened after a few moments, he frowned at the young woman in front of him.
"Can I help you?"
"I hope so," she began honestly, "I don't know if you remember me, but my sister is one of your patients. Jenny Shepard."
"Of course. You're...Heather, right?"
She nodded.
"What can I do for you, Heather?"
"It isn't me. It's Jenny. She's...she's absolutely manic right now, and I can't get her to listen to me. I'm worried that she might do something dangerous. She's been really depressed lately, and now that she's not, I don't want her to get hurt. She's really scaring me. Is there any way you can see her now?"
He frowned, considering her words.
"Let me look at my appointment book. If I'm remembering correctly, I don't have an appointment for another hour."
He waved her into the room as he made his way to his desk, checking the calendar that sat on the top. A quick glance showed his initial guess had been correct, and he gave Heather a smile as he looked at her.
"My next appointment isn't until 10:30, so you're in luck. Is Jenny here with you?"
"Yes. She's in the car with my girlfriend. But you should know, we had to trick her to get her here. So she might be a bit pissed off once she realises we lied to her."
Dr. Lentz nodded understandingly.
"Go and bring her in. I'll deal with her anger when the time comes. For what it's worth, you did the absolute right thing by bringing her here. That shows incredible intuition and concern for her safety. I'm sure once she understands this, she won't be angry. Your sister loves you, and she's a very practical woman."
Heather smiled, touched by his words, and as she walked away to retrieve her sister, she hoped Gibbs wouldn't make it to the building before she had a chance to get Jenny inside. That would simply raise too many questions.
As Jenny was escorted into the building, Miranda stayed behind under the pretense of parking the car, and as she sat in the passenger seat, she sighed. She'd known that being with Heather would come with its own set of challenges, but Jenny's health was one she hadn't seen coming. It wasn't anyone's fault, and while she knew this, it didn't make it any less difficult. At times, it was downright exhausting, and she couldn't help but feel guilty for the exasperation and irritation she occasionally felt towards the older Shepard.
Heather returned moments later, giving her a tired smile, and as she slid into the car, she noticed the other woman's unease immediately. She frowned as she glanced at her, and when Miranda didn't meet her eyes, her confusion only grew.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing. I'm fine."
Heather frowned again, shaking her head.
"Don't do that. I know something is bothering you. Talk to me."
Miranda sighed, brushing her long hair out of her face, and met Heather's eyes slowly.
"Is it always going to be this way? Us, making our lives revolve around whatever health crisis Jenny's in on any given day?"
"I know it isn't easy, but you have to understand that Jenny was there for me when no one else was. She saved my life, and always looks out for me. Has ever since we were kids. But, I understand if you don't want to deal with it. She's not your sister, after all. If you want to leave, I won't be angry with you."
Miranda shook her head, quickly backtracking.
"No, love. I didn't mean that. I was just...you're right, it is difficult. I just want time with you by myself. Not all the time, I know you need to be with your sister, but..."
"There's something I wanted to ask you, and since you kind of brought it up...Jenny told me the other day that she wants to give me the house. Since she and Jethro are married now, it doesn't make sense for her to keep it, but she doesn't want to sell it because it was our father's. So...what I'm asking is: would you like to move in with me?"
It took a few moments for Heather's words to register in her mind, but when they did, Miranda found that her vocal cords refused to listen to her.
"You...you really mean it?"
"Of course, you silly woman. I can't think of anyone else I would rather be with, and that way, we could have as much time together as we—"
Miranda's lips on hers abruptly stopped her words, and as her fingers tangled in Heather's fiery hair, she couldn't stop herself from smiling.
"I would love to."
In spite of the way her morning had started, Heather didn't think she'd ever been happier in her entire life.
As soon as Jenny realised what her sister had done, she swore loudly, inadvertently causing her psychiatrist to smile, and when he carefully led her into his office, he frowned when he noticed that in spite of her initial use of a few choice words, Jenny showed no signs of being legitimately angry. In fact, she seemed slightly amused, and he looked at her quizzically as she wandered around his office, moving so quickly that he wasn't even sure her feet stayed on the ground.
She laughed as she collided with the edge of his desk, shaking her head at her own clumsiness, and Dr. Lentz frowned, more than a little concerned with her behaviour. He'd seen Jenny manic before, but this was an entirely different level, and he sat down in his chair, observing her from the corner of his eye as he made a note on the piece of paper on his clipboard.
"Jenny, would you like to sit down?"
"Why would I do that? That's just wasting time and energy. There's so much I have to get done today, and this is really cutting into that. No offense."
"None taken. But it really would help me if you could sit. I can't really focus if I'm worried that you're going to run into something."
Sighing dramatically, Jenny found the chair across from his desk and threw herself into it, draping her legs over the arm. Even her posture was off, making Dr. Lentz nervous, and he sat up straighter as he spoke again.
"Do you understand why Heather and her girlfriend brought you here?"
Jenny rolled her eyes but nodded, blowing her hair out of her face.
"They're concerned. Everyone's always so damn concerned about my well-being these days. I'm fine."
He shook his head, trying to make her see reason.
"You're extremely high right now. Higher than I've ever seen you, and you're not thinking clearly. Do you see how that could be cause for concern? Does Jethro know you're here? You're—"
"I'm fine," Jenny insisted, shaking her head, "Just because I'm having a good day doesn't mean that I'm in the middle of some massive breakdown."
"But Jenny," he tried again, his voice gentle yet urgent, "this isn't just a good day. You're manic. Extremely so. Look at the way you're sitting in the chair. You've never done that before, you've never laughed about being blind and running into things before. You might not want to hear that it's a massive break, but it's exactly that. You're too—"
"Do you play baseball?" she asked suddenly, having not paid the slightest bit of attention to what he'd said, "My husband is really good at baseball. At least the batting part. Then again, there's not much he's not good at. Except talking. He's terrible at that. Probably because he'd rather spend his time building a boat in our basement. Wow. That's the first time I've called it "our" basement. See, I recently just gave my sister the house my father left me, so I have to get used to calling Jethro's house mine. And Miranda's going to move in, probably. She's Heather's girlfriend, and she's so lovely. I'm glad that she's around, and I totally see why Heather likes her—"
"Jenny."
She didn't stop speaking, but the doctor had long ago given up trying to follow her train of thought. She was trying desperately to keep up with them herself, and as she sat draped across the chair, her feet swung idly back and forth, dangling above the ground. Dr. Lentz frowned, watching her seriously as she rambled on, jumping from subject to subject as though she were mainlining cocaine into her bloodstream, and when he stood suddenly, she didn't even flinch.
"Stay here," he said firmly, "I have to make a phone call."
She nodded, waving in his direction with her fingers as he walked to the door, and as soon as he closed it behind him, he took a deep breath. He pulled out his cell phone just as his outer door opened, and he felt an immediate sense of relief wash over him.
"Jethro. I was just about to call Heather and ask for your number. Thank God you're here."
Gibbs frowned as he walked closer, unsure of what exactly was going on.
"What's wrong?"
He knew something was, the look on Dr. Lentz's face told him that much. As he shook his head, he gestured to the closed door behind him.
"Jenny's manic, and in a very extreme way. I know you might not want to hear this, but I really think she should go to the hospital. She needs to be someplace safe where her medication and vital signs can be closely monitored. If she doesn't, I can't guarantee that I'll be able to change her dosages accurately."
"It's that bad?"
Dr. Lentz placed his hand on the door handle, nodding.
"See for yourself."
Gibbs peered in the room, observing Jenny silently as she skipped around the room, laughing occasionally when she smacked into a piece of furniture or a wall, and as she spun around, she was humming quietly to herself. The former marine frowned as he exchanged a glance with the doctor, and when the door had shut once again, he sighed.
"What happened to her?"
"It's called a manic break. It's not uncommon in bipolar individuals, and given everything Jenny's gone through recently, I'm not surprised that it's happened. I expected this sooner, honestly."
He reached for the handle again, warning Gibbs to stay silent, and as he walked back into the room, the former marine hovering in the doorway, he said her name, causing her to turn around.
"Jenny, sit down. Please."
She sighed but did as he asked, laughing as her hair fell over her face in a crimson curtain, and when the doctor walked around to the desk, he looked at her seriously. The shiny metal around her throat caught his attention, and when he realised what it was, a sudden idea came to him.
"I want you to do something for me, okay?"
She nodded, still tapping her heel on the floor, and he frowned as he realised this would be more difficult than he'd anticipated.
"Take your necklace and hold it in your hand. Can you do that? Focus on it, and describe it. What is it?"
Her fingers fumbled with the chain, smoothing over the dog tag and she smiled.
"It's Jethro's dog tag from when he was in the Marines."
"Right. And I want to ask you something. If Jethro were here right now, if he could see what you're going through, what do you think he would say?"
She frowned, considering the question, thankfully unaware of the former marine's presence in the room.
"I'm happy. Having a good day. Jethro wants me to be happy, so I don't think he would mind."
"Not like this, Jen."
She whipped around at the sound of his voice, a smile breaking across her face as she attempted to jump up from the chair, and when his hand on her shoulder stopped her movements, she frowned.
"What's wrong? What are you doing here?"
He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to find the best way to explain, and he moved closer, kneeling down next to the chair.
"Heather called me. Jen...you're right about me wanting you to be happy, but this is different. This isn't just being happy. This is mania, and you're..."
He stopped, reaching for her hand, and he ran his finger slowly over her wedding band.
"You're sick, Jen...and you need to do what Dr. Lentz tells you to get this under control. I know you've been doing that, but the medication isn't working right anymore. We need to try something new and see if it helps."
His voice was soft, gentle in a way that she would have imagined him using with a terminally ill child, and it was enough to break through her jumbled thoughts.
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying that you need to go to a hospital. Just until this passes, and we can figure out what caused this. I know you don't want to, but you need to get help. More than I can give on my own."
She frowned, still trying to make sense of the words he'd said, and she shook her head slowly.
"You're—you're locking me up? You don't want to deal with me anymore, so you're sending me away?"
Her question broke his heart, but Gibbs knew he couldn't afford to back down now. There was too much at stake.
"No, Jen," he said still in that same gentle tone, "I just want you to be safe, and the doctors at the hospital can monitor your health better than I can. They have equipment there to run tests, and they can make sure nothing happens to you until things are better."
"Will you visit?"
"Every day," he promised, kissing her fingers softly, "Right up until they kick me out."
This thought comforted her a little, and it was enough to make her smile as he straightened, pulling her to her feet. After getting the information they needed, Gibbs met the eyes of the doctor, reaching out to shake his hand.
"I'll call ahead and let the staff know to expect you," Dr. Lentz said, "I'll make sure they're aware of her vision, and they'll take very good care of her."
"Thank you," Gibbs said quietly, still holding Jenny close to him, "for everything."
"You're doing the right thing, Jethro. I know it's hard, but she'll be perfectly safe. And it's not permanent."
Gibbs thanked him again, leading Jenny carefully out of the office, and as he helped her into the seat of his truck, he could feel her shaking. He wasn't sure if she was afraid or if she was having difficulty staying still, and once he had gotten into the cab, he glanced at her again.
"Jethro?"
"Yeah?"
"Where are we going?"
"Just relax. You'll know soon enough."
She nodded, leaning over to kiss his cheek and as he turned the key in the ignition, her next words made him feel like the worst person in the history of the universe.
"I love you."
"I love you too, Jen."
Much to his surprise, Jenny didn't put up much of a fight as she was admitted to the hospital, too wrapped up in her euphoric mania to truly comprehend what was happening, and when Gibbs had finally finished filling out the proper paperwork, he gave her one final kiss as she was taken to have her blood drawn. He knew it was the last time he would see her that day, and so he made his way to the parking lot, pulling out his phone as he walked, his hands shaking so violently that he nearly dropped it.
"Hello?"
"Ducky, you got a minute?"
"Of course, Jethro. Is everything alright? You left rather suddenly this morning."
"I...Heather called me, sounded pretty serious. I just..."
"Jethro, what's wrong? Is it Jennifer?"
"I...she's in the hospital, Duck. I didn't want to, but...Heather was right. She couldn't even focus long enough to hold a conversation. She was bouncing off the walls, skipping around Lentz's office...he said it was a manic break. Said it was common in bipolar individuals, and that she needed to go to a hospital."
"He's absolutely right. Jennifer needs to be somewhere that she can be kept safe until she comes back down."
Gibbs took a deep breath, leaning against the brick wall of the hospital, trying to pretend he didn't feel the tears prickling his eyes.
"She sounded so broken, Duck...asked me if I was sending her away because I didn't want to deal with her anymore. I didn't—it wasn't—"
"I know, Jethro," Ducky interrupted quietly, "and Jennifer knows that too, somewhere in her mind. She knows you love her and only want what's best for her."
Though his words were true, they weren't enough. Gibbs needed someone to reassure him that he hadn't made a huge mistake, that Jenny wouldn't hate him for all of eternity for what he'd done.
"What if I messed up?"
"You didn't. They won't keep her there forever, and chances are that she'll be back to normal within a few days. Maybe a week at most. I know you're feeling like you let her down Jethro, but you did the best thing for her."
No matter what Ducky, Heather, or Dr. Lentz said, Gibbs still felt like he'd betrayed Jenny, and nothing would be enough to change his mind except possibly hearing it from her.
Jenny gave the attending nurse a warm smile as she checked her vital signs, regardless of the fact that she couldn't see her. She'd already decided that she was quite fond of the staff, and as she settled more comfortably in her bed, the nurse looked at her with a smile.
"Is there anything you need, Mrs. Gibbs?"
"No, thank you. You've been very accommodating."
"Dr. Lentz will be by in about an hour to look in on you."
The mention of her psychiatrist made Jenny smile yet again, and the younger woman handed her a blanket before she walked to the door.
"Thank you," Jenny called.
"You're welcome."
Jenny was turning the blanket over in her hands when a quiet knock at the door made her look up, and she frowned slightly at the unfamiliar voice.
"Hi."
"Hi," Jenny answered uncertainly.
"I'm Caitlin. What's your name?"
"Jenny. Do you work here?"
"Not exactly. I'm an intern. I'm studying to be a psychiatrist. Dr. Lentz is my mentor. I know you're one of his patients, so I hope you don't mind if I get to know you a bit better before he stops by."
Jenny shook her head.
"Not at all. Have you met Nurse Stephanie? She's very nice."
Indeed, Jenny liked the young nurse very much, and Caitlin's answering laugh made her smile.
"Yes. She's wonderful."
The redhead could hear the turning of pages and could only assume that the other woman was flipping through a folder of some sort, and she moved to sit cross-legged on the bed, her blanket wrapped tightly around her.
"Does it say I'm crazy in there?"
"No. Bipolar is an illness, but it doesn't mean you're crazy. With the right medication, you'll be able to live a perfectly normal life and do all the things you did before."
This thought was comforting, and Jenny smiled, moving closer.
"I like you, Caitlin. You know, my husband used to have an employee named Caitlin. Everyone called her Kate."
"That's cool. Was she nice?"
Jenny frowned.
"I don't know. She died before I could meet her. Everyone said she was, so I'm guessing so. My husband is kind of difficult to get to open up, and he really liked her. If he thought she was nice, then I have to believe it."
"What's your husband's name?"
"Jethro," Jenny answered, his name enough to bring a smile to her face again.
"Aw, that's cute. Jennifer and Jethro. How long have you been together?"
"Long enough that we threaten each other's lives on a daily basis," Jenny said, laughing.
Caitlin laughed, and as the younger girl began to get the redhead to talk more openly about her life, Jenny found herself wondering what her husband was up to or if he'd even spared her a thought since he'd left. God, she hoped so.
Though Jenny had no way of knowing it, Gibbs had thought of nothing else since he'd pulled into his driveway, hardly stopping to show Aries any attention as he opened the door. The little dog reminded him of Jenny, and as he wandered through his living room, he could feel the weight of her absence hanging over every corner in the house. He fed Aries, feeling sad as the dog searched for his mistress behind him, and Gibbs shook his head as he filled the water bowl.
"Don't worry, Aries. Mommy will be back soon. She just needed time to get better. I know you miss her, too."
He made his way down into the basement, carefully closing the door behind him so that Aries wouldn't fall down the steps, and as he poured himself a mason jar filled to the brim with bourbon, he sighed. The liquid burned down his throat as he swallowed, and he realised as he glanced around the room, underneath the sawdust and bourbon, there was a faint trace of Jenny's perfume lingering in the air.
"God, I miss you, Jen," he said softly, taking another long drink, "I just hope you can forgive me."
Dr. Lentz made his second set of rounds early the next morning, and to Jenny's immense happiness, he greeted her in the same warm, kind way he always had, his eyes undeniably compassionate. Psych wards these days are a far cry from One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, for which she was profoundly grateful, and though the staff had assured her over and over there would be no lobotomies, the fear still lingered in the back of her mind, taunting her with its refusal to leave. The staff, in Jenny's humble opinion, were of the nicest caliber of people she'd ever met, treating her just as they would have treated her husband, none of that condescending holier-than-thou nonsense, and she made it a point to inform them of this each time she encountered them.
"Good morning, Jenny."
"Good morning. How are you? Isn't everyone here just lovely?"
He nodded, looking at her seriously. She was still higher than he would have liked, but she didn't seem to be anywhere near the hyperactivity of the previous day.
"They're great. How are you feeling today?"
"Great," she replied enthusiastically, "Everyone here is so nice. They don't treat me like a freak, and if I ask them the same questions a million times, they don't get upset. That makes a world of difference, you know."
Again, he nodded, making a note on his chart, and watching her for any outward signs of agitation. Her hands were twisting in her lap, which made him pause, but he didn't think it was any cause for great concern.
"Yes, I know. Jenny, would you like to see Jethro today?"
She nodded, her hair falling into her face, and he frowned at the tears he saw in her bright green eyes.
"What's wrong?"
"What if he doesn't come? What if he leaves me here? I wouldn't blame him. I mean, I'm crazy. Like, certifiably."
Dr. Lentz reached out to pat her knee softly, giving her a smile regardless of the fact that she couldn't see it.
"He won't leave you here. If I know anything about Jethro, he's going crazy without you. He loves you just as much as you love him. If not more."
Though it was only a small consolation, it was enough to get Jenny through the morning, counting down the minutes until she saw her husband again.
Eventually, her mood slowed to a frantic, cheerful agitation, more like the Jenny that Gibbs had fallen in love with nearly a decade ago, her hyperactivity giving way to biting sarcasm that made Dr. Lentz smile more than he would have ever admitted. He escorted Gibbs to her room late that evening, not bothering to knock on the door, knowing she would have heard it open, and as she laid on the bed, her pillows propped up behind her head, legs crossed as she idly twirled the straw from her cup between her fingers, she didn't move.
She heard the unmistakable sound of Gibbs' footsteps as soon as he entered the room, and though her first instinct was to throw herself into his arms, she forced herself to stay still, pretending she didn't notice the scent of sawdust.
"Jenny, there's someone here to see you."
She nodded, still twirling her straw.
"If you're going to tell me things that I'm already aware of, then we might have a problem here, doctor. I'm blind, not deaf. Is this really what my hard-earned insurance is paying you for?"
Gibbs was so relieved to hear the smart ass response that he closed his eyes briefly, trying to commit the sound to memory. Dr. Lentz laughed in acknowledgment, and Gibbs took a step closer, nodding when the other man pulled up a chair to observe their interaction.
"Jen?"
"Jethro."
"How are you feeling?"
"Like an oddly disturbing combination of Jack Nicholson, Audrey Hepburn, and Winona Ryder."
Gibbs frowned, but accepted her description without question, moving to sit on the end of her bed, pulling her legs across his lap and running his fingers over her skin lightly.
"Jenny, I wanted to take this time to speak with both you and Jethro to make absolutely sure that you both understand something. You've suffered a manic break, and while you're doing better now, there is a chance that it will happen again. This also changes your diagnosis from Bipolar II to Bipolar I, rapid cycle. You've got to keep taking your medication, and under no circumstances are you to change the dosage or skip it. You cannot drink heavily, and you have to get on a consistent sleep schedule. I cannot stress how serious this is, and if you don't do this, you're going to end up here permanently. Do you understand?"
Jenny didn't appear to be listening, too focused on the way it felt to have Gibbs near her, to feel his hands on her skin, and he glared at her, lightly smacking her shin with his hand.
"Jen. Pay attention."
She rolled her eyes, sighing dramatically.
"I am. I heard every mind-numbing word. You smacking me doesn't make it any more invigorating."
Dr. Lentz smiled, shaking his head in amusement, and Gibbs rolled his eyes as Jenny kept twirling the straw between her thin fingers.
"My point is, now that it's happened, we can treat it and make it more manageable."
"So...will it ever go away? Will I ever be normal again?"
Dr. Lentz looked at her sadly before exchanging a glance with the former marine, who reached for her hand slowly.
"In the conventional sense? No. But we can make it so that you can live a fairly typical day-to-day life."
"What will happen to me?" she whispered, clinging to Gibbs' hand like a lifeline.
"That all depends, Jenny," Dr. Lentz answered honestly, "It's up to you. You can treat the illness, and your outcome will be better, or you can ignore it. If you treat it, it's possible that you'll have fewer breaks, but you have to be vigilant with your medication. You have to stop trying to do everything. Learn to slow down and rest. Find balance in your life."
Jenny rolled her eyes, shaking her head.
"Balance? That's what everyone's been telling me for years. I don't know if I can."
"That may be true."
"What if it is? What if I can't slow down?"
Dr. Lentz looked at her, his expression so sad that Gibbs was sure she could feel it.
"Then you'll get worse."
When Gibbs was finally able to take Jenny home from the hospital three days later, she walked out into the cool, crisp morning feeling strangely refreshed. Lighter, somehow. She'd already made up her mind to do everything her doctor had advised of her, and now, she was taking that first step. She was taking her medication diligently, indulging in only occasional glass of bourbon after a long (but not overly so) day of work, spending her nights playing with her puppy, visiting her beloved goddaughter, and ending them wrapped in the arms of her stoic yet loving husband.
Gone were the long sleepless nights spent working in her office at work, the days spent arguing with diplomats over grainy video feeds over botched ops, and the nights spent pacing her living room with a glass of bourbon in her pale, shaking hand. Life was beginning to look up for her. It wasn't perfect, but it was damn close.
Well, no. That's not exactly what happened. Just kidding. This is the part where Jennifer Shepard-Gibbs spent her nights knocking back her medication with a glass of bourbon, wandering the house into the latest hours of the night while her husband slept in their bed alone, pretending that she didn't feel his watchful eyes every morning as she walked to her office to start yet another grueling day of work that always ended far too late for his liking. In short, this was the part where she ignored the advice given to her, and acted just as she always had.
Her husband watched her each day, wondering how long it would be until she collapsed yet again, and as he followed her movements with his bright blue eyes, he shook his head. Why? What in the fuck was wrong with her? Was she completely dense? Was she totally insane?
The answer to that, ladies and gentlemen, is yes.
A/N: Yes, I realise that Jenny is acting odd, but given her character, we all know that it takes a major event for her to let go of her stubbornness. Not to worry though. She'll soon be back to her sarcastic somewhat bitchy self that we all know and love. Let me know what you think!