I spend the greater part of my time with Sasuke. I celebrate Sasuke's birthday by creating a cake imbued with all of Kabuto's stupid little concoctions, except unlike Kabuto my creations taste good. I start developing Sasuke's potions and supplements and multivitamins to the point where I check everything that Kabuto wants Sasuke to take. I start developing my own medical ninjutsu, start developing the Genshindou, start training with Sasuke until we are a shinobi duo to be reckoned with, the way the bond was always imagined.

Orochimaru licks his lips when he sees us together. I step closer to Sasuke every time, no longer out of fear but out of protectiveness, knowing that by the time Sasuke is powerful enough to defeat Itachi, he will be strong enough to kill Orochimaru, and we will be free.

Kabuto hates me a little more each time we interact, but it's on purpose that I've outgrown him. I need to focus on Sasuke – but I also needed to carve a space for myself. I saw Orochimaru's anger, the way he is reckless with the lives of those beneath him. I needed to show I was invaluable.

Improving my partnership with Sasuke alone did that. The medicine was for me.

I join Kabuto at the surface to gather herbs for our potions. The trips do wonders for my mental health, even if we go in the middle of the night on occasion. Sometimes we go into small villages to buy specific ingredients from seedy black market suppliers. Once, I stumble upon deer antler. I stare at it for so long that herbalist asks me if I have any questions.

"Who…where did you get this?" I ask. "Isn't it…it's unique to the Fire Country, isn't it?"

"We have a supplier," she says vaguely. "They buy it directly from the Nara family and give us a very limited supply each month."

My heart races at the name, long forgotten and tucked away. It conjures an image that I push down immediately, fear and anger rising in my stomach at the slip in memory.

The herbalist looks between Kabuto and me. We have never given her our names, and I know she has a suspicion that what we do is even darker than what her usual customers take part in. The vibrations cue me in on her nervousness every time. I buzz them around her to make her more anxious, helping her lower the prices on her wares in her distress.

"I'll take it," I say, reaching for the bag. "All of it, your whole supply."

Kabuto tsks, says, "Don't be impulsive. You don't—"

"I want it," I say defiantly, daring him to turn me down. I don't hold the purse strings in this transaction, and I don't have any of my own money. But like hell if I'll let this slip into any hands that aren't my own. Besides, now that I'm on good terms with Orochimaru, there's not much that I can't get away with. "I'll take it on credit if I have to."

Kabuto grits his teeth. He buys it for me.

I experiment with it, creating potions that I bring back to my room with me. I don't let Kabuto know what I'm doing with it, careful to clean my station afterward every time so that he can't track my progress. When I make a potion with it, I don't write the recipe down anywhere, committing it to memory. I create the potion for only myself, not sharing with even Sasuke. He doesn't need it, anyway, not with all the other supplements that Kabuto and I create for him.

One evening, when Sasuke and I go to the surface for a break, he says, "Kabuto is annoyed with you. He spoke about getting rid of you."

I scoff, nudging Sasuke with my shoulder as we walk. "Sure, let him try," I say. "My potions are more effective than his, and they taste better than his. If he wants to convince Orochimaru, he has to work on that at least."

Sasuke purses his lips, a corner of his mouth turning into a frown. "Are you sure about that?"

I mirror his expression, slowing to a stop. "Are you saying you won't protect me?"

Sasuke pauses and pivots to meet my eyes. The sun lights him from behind, turning him to shadow before I can read his face. "If you didn't have my protection," he says, "would you be so confident?"

Sasuke is fucking with me – he does this when he doesn't have enough attention on himself. He knows it's all about him, though. He knows as soon as he withdraws his approval, I will die.

The bond stirs, waves of irritation rolling over me. It's half-Sasuke, half-me. Together, whirlpools form, dragging me in while Sasuke stays steady. This is always the way it is: the bond, pulling me beneath the rough surface, while Sasuke floats above, safe and sure.

I raise a brow. I say, "Are you not going to protect me?"

I ask the question, but I'm not afraid. It's not that I believe I could fight and hold my own against Orochimaru or even Kabuto. It's not that I believe I could even escape unless somehow Sasuke lets me.

It's that Sasuke will protect me. That's how this bond works. It's what this was built on. I am the best goddamn medic he could ask for, and in turn he is the best goddamn bodyguard I could ask for.

Sasuke waves me forward. "I'll protect you," he says, walking away.

I shake my head, running to catch up to him. I punch him in retaliation, saying, "Don't you dare ever hesitate like that again. If I ask you to protect me, you protect me. This bond goes both ways, jackass."

Sasuke bumps me with his shoulder, and I bump him back. Laughing, I take his sleeve and hold onto it as we walk.

Returning to the hideout, I notice something stirring in the woods surrounding the entrance. Sasuke heads down while I linger for a second, waiting to see what will emerge.

A deer pops its head out. It flicks its ears as it looks at me.

"Shika," I whisper.