"So, you have everything?" I ask Rose, who's currently sitting on top of her suitcase, trying to close it.
"I hope so. I can't stuff any more in this thing." She laughs.
It's been two days since I got home, one day since my first meeting. I finally convinced her to go home and back to work.
"B, please remember to go see Kate at five-thirty tomorrow. It's your first day, so please get some sleep, take a nice shower before you leave." She informs me. I resist rolling my eyes because she keeps repeating herself.
"I know. I know, Rose."
"Tell me, did you call your sponsor yet?" Rose's fixation on my sponsor was getting annoying.
"What's his name again?" She acts as if she's thinking, but she knows his name just fine.
I cross my arms in front of my chest as she finally does up the zipper of her suitcase.
"Masen."
"You should call him. Okay? Especially since I won't be here, and half an hour away." Rose presses.
"I will." I lie. I have no intention of calling Masen, nor do I have any reason to. I looked it up, you're only supposed to contact your sponsor out of meetings when you're having a tough time.
Rose kisses my cheek before she leaves. I power up my laptop and ponder over my options. I could order Chinese food from downstairs and watch a show on Netflix.
I decide to do that and run down the stairs. Mister Cheney's at the front desk, smiling when he sees me.
"Long time no see, Bella. Are you okay?" I know he refers to the ambulance that came for me. I know he was there, Rose told me.
"I'm hungry!" I change the subject.
"The usual?" He asks. I nod.
He brings me a box of rice with shrimp fifteen minutes later. I pay him with cash and thank him before I run back upstairs.
My mind drifts off to dark places once I put the food down on the bed next to me. I pull my laptop up to my lap and scroll through my email. I'm still fuming over the fact that I let myself get scammed on the internet. I'm sober as fuck now, my fingers unoccupied, and I feel a rush of longing come to me. I light a cigarette and search for the letters on Google — the safe internet. I type up 'EAM' and all combinations but find nothing worth reading. I close the tab and find Netflix again, sitting with my back against the wall on the bed and smoke my cigarette before I eat. I finally have some kind of appetite and finish the entire thing before I pass out, dreams flooding my head again.
I jolt awake around midnight, uncomfortable and sweating. I run to the bathroom and shower without getting my hair wet. Rose styled it in soft curls this morning, and I don't want to ruin it. I have to get up again for work in five hours, anyway.
I don't bother with clothes and go back to bed naked, burying myself in blankets, hoping I could at least sleep a few more hours. Netflix keeps me company, the noise of the comedy show making me drift off to sleep again.