Blaise's POV:
He was in shock. Dumbledore was dead and Professor Snape did it. Well, now Headmaster Snape. It all disgusted him and the whole castle afterwards was dark and silent.
The scariest part of it was: Draco was no where to be seen. They went home that year due to Luna's father wanting her home.
Her father did object to him living there, but he heard his story and instead conjured up a new home for him beside them. It was much smaller, but it had everything he needed. To say he was thankful was an understatement. Neville was an angel, that's for sure. He could've ignored it all, but instead he got someone to help him out. It only hurt worse to know that they'd never ever have a civil conversation as long as Neville was convinced Blaise was a terrible person. Not that he was wrong, but there is one thing Blaise would never do and that's intentionally hurt Neville or his friends.
He was terrified, though. Terrified that Draco was in trouble, terrified that Neville would die or be horribly injured, and most of all he was terrified of you-know-who taking over. If anyone knew where his loyalities lied as a pure-blood Slytherin, he would be dead within minutes of his reign. Then again, if Neville died, would it really matter if he did as well?
A knock came at the door and he shouted, "Come in!"
The door opens to reveal Luna. "Good morning, Blaise. A letter came for you." She says, handing him a blank envelope.
"Thank you." He says and she gives him a nod.
"Oh, by the way I apologize for my father's prejudice. He just hasn't met you yet. I'm sure if he did he'd love you." She smiles.
"No worries. He's just trying to keep you safe. I'd do the same." He smiles back.
"I'm proud of you for doing the right things, Blaise. You're not as arrogant as I originally thought you might've been." She chuckles, "And you've protected my friend. Really, I thank you for flipping the script."
"I'm not that great..." He says with a fake chuckle, "I should be thanking you actually. You helped me out."
"It was all Neville's doing." Luna says.
"Yeah..." Blaise trails off and smiles to himself.
"You know, you should open that. It may be from Neville." She smirks, "By the way, we're making cookies later after breakfast. I'll bring you some. And no negotiation! You can't get out of these."
"Fine." He smiles. "Thank you, really. Tell your father the same."
"I will. Well, I must go help my father with breakfast. Tell me all about that later." She says gesturing to the letter then walking out into the field of flowers and shutting the door behind her, leaving him alone with only the sound of the birds.
He smiles and opens up the letter. He smiles wider at the familiar handwriting.
"Hi, it's Neville again. It may not be the best time because of what's happening now but I needed to make sure you were safe and had a home to go to. I know we don't really know each other but you've been so kind I can't help but worry. Please write back soon, even if it's just telling me you're safe. That's all I need to know."
He decides to write in the free space below and glides his quill across the page.
"Hello, Neville. Yes, I am safe and I do have a home. Thank you so much. Really, thank you. I can't express enough how thankful I am. I'm living with Luna and it's really beautiful here. It almost makes me forget everything that's happening. I have warm food and a nice comfortable bed. It's everything I ever wanted. Now, I must ask if you are safe. I've actually been pretty worried about you. This letter really made me feel better about it, so I appreciate you writing. I really care about you, and maybe that makes you uncomfortable especially since you know I'm a boy but you really mean a lot to me. Your safety means everything and I really hope you're happy and comfortable where you are. But no, this letter isn't bad timing. I really needed to hear from you."
He walks over to his owl and puts it into her beak. She flaps his wings and flies off into the wind. He had gotten a new owl since he wasn't able to bring his other owl with him, but he didn't mind. His old one would just remind him of his old home and he'd rather not remember that.
Soon enough his owl comes with a new envelope in her mouth and drops it on the desk. He was also thankful that this owl wasn't as greedy as his last one. She never pecked him continuously for food, but maybe that's because he was able to give this owl actual food.
He opened up the envelope and read:
"That's so wonderful that you are safe and happy! That makes me happy! For me, yes I am safe. I'm at home with my grandmother. I still think about my father sometimes which upsets me, but I can always pull through. Your bracelet also has helped keep me calm through these times, especially after Dumbledore's death and being afraid of not only my life but my friends and families lives. But it's really kept me from going crazy. Thank you for that by the way. And the blanket has kept me warm! I also forgot to compliment you on those cookies. And don't worry about that, I don't mind you being a boy. Actually, I've been trying to figure things out about myself recently and it makes me feel pretty weird and disgusting. Anyways, enough about me. How is your friend? What does it look like there? How do you feel?"
He furrows his brows in curiousity and grabs a fresh piece of parchment and writes.
"That's wonderful that you're safe as well! Merlin, I was dreadfully worried about you. I noticed how torn up you were about Dumbledore's death. I am so sorry about that. I wished I could've hugged you and told you it would all be ok. It hurt so much to see you that way, but I'm sure you were hurting more than me. But you're strong, I know you can pull through, with or without that bracelet. But I'm so happy that my gift has made your days better. You should give thanks to Harry and Luna, though. They were the ones to help me figure out what to get you since I wasn't in your house and well, we don't speak really at all. Also, thank that Hufflepuff named Hunter as well, he was very patient with my efforts at making those cookies. I ruined it maybe twice and he still was composed, even after I nearly threw a fit about burning the cookies. Now, to answer how I feel... I'll tell you that at the moment I feel amazing. I mean, I'm talking to you and you're safe and I'm actually getting good meals and I've been sleeping a bit better. I feel phenomenal! As for what it looks like here, it's so beautiful you wouldn't believe it. Right outside my door is a field of flowers with every color imaginable and there is life everywhere you look. The birds are singing and the sun is bright. It's amazing. It really lifts your spirits. I never would've imagined being in a place like this. Luna says it isn't much, but I think it's the most luxurious place I could've ever been put in. It beats my once dark home covered in dust and spiderwebs. There never seemed to be sunlight there. As for my friend... that's an issue. I don't know where he is. After Dumbledore's death I haven't seen him at all nor have I heard from him. It worries me a lot, but I try to not dwell on it too much simply to keep myself sane. But I keep telling myself that he's alright, even though deep down I know something has to be wrong. I just hope he's safe and alive. But at least I know one person I care for is alright. Also, what do you mean by figuring yourself out and why does it make you feel like that? I apologize, I'm not a ravenclaw."
He sends off the letter once more and soon gets one back.
"It's alright. Actually, I was wondering why you seem to care for me so much? I know you have feelings for me, but I honestly expected you to focus on yourself more. But I really appreciate you caring about me, don't get me wrong. Not many people show that and it really makes me feel loved. Not saying that you love me or anything, but that it makes me feel like I have someone that loves me. Sorry if that's awkward. I really am not trying to make things weird between us. Anyways, I'll shut up about that now. But I'm sure your friend is just busy. Maybe he has to keep his family safe or he's focusing on himself. At least I hope so. If not, I'm sure he will be safe soon. As for the place... woah! That sounds gorgeous! In that case, I'm really glad I went to Luna to help you! You seem happy there. Also, this may be weird to say because you know... we don't know each other and you apparently have feelings for me. But maybe you can help? I'm scared that I may like boys. I may just be thinking weird or something, but it's not like I'm under a love potion. I got tested for it twice. Once with my ex-girlfriend, another time with my grandmother. I didn't tell her why I wanted a test and I'm happy she didn't ask. But it's even scarier that I never thought this way about Hannah but now I feel all these strange feelings I've never felt before and it's freaking me out. I really don't want to be this way. No offense to people that like their same gender but I just don't like these feelings. I've never felt any of them before, not once! Not about anyone until now and it's freaking me out. I'm really sorry if this is weird to talk about with you. Just drop it if you don't feel comfortable with it, ok? I'll understand fully."
He smiled wide. He was tempted to stand up and jump all around the room, but decided against it. He may be thinking about someone that isn't him at all. Just because Neville seems to have taken a liking towards boys doesn't mean anything. The thought makes his smile drop from his face, but he needed to bring himself back down to earth before he got his hopes too high.
He debates with himself for a long time on whether or not to tell Neville that he does indeed love him, very much. After almost an hour of not wanting to respond, he writes:
"Neville, I must tell you something."
His hand shakes and he almost crumples up the whole paper. Instead he continues.
"I love you."
No, no, no! He tears the paper in half and buries his head in his hands. He's a coward, isn't he? But maybe it's for the best. Neville might have his eye on someone else and telling him he loves him will ruin that. He instead gets a fresh piece of parchment and shames himself for wasting the other one. He writes once more.
"I will answer that question another time. For now, I want to know more about these feelings. But first off I want to tell you that you didn't make things awkward and second, you shouldn't feel ashamed of liking boys. It's completely normal. My friend likes boys as well! I actually think I like both boys and girls. Either way, it's completely normal and you shouldn't be disgusted. It won't make things awkward to talk about this stuff with me at all. I mean, I really wished I had someone to vent to when I was thinking the same things. It's hard to do it alone, so I'm here to help you. Vent away, dear Neville."
He smiles to himself and sends the letter off. A response comes a lot later than he thought it would. He even was able to have an awkward breakfast with Luna and her father before it came back. He opened it and it said:
"I should be disgusted! I keep having these thoughts about this one boy, but I shouldn't! He's basically off limits completely and it wouldn't work out anyways. We're most definitely complete opposites. Besides, I'm just some clumsy dork that got sorted into Gryffindor by some freak mistake. He'd never like me back. He wouldn't like Gryffindors at all! He might be able to trick you into thinking you could be his friend, but then he'd turn on you. But the worst part is, I can't get these thoughts out! I shouldn't like him at all. I should despise him! But every time I try to forget about him, these thoughts just get worse and worse. A part of me loves it, then another part hates myself for it. I mean, just imagine if he did like me back, what would the Gryffindors say?! They already think of me as a dork, but then they'd see me as a traitor. I can't do that. Now I guess you would know what house they are in. You might be dissapointed in me. I'm sorry for that. But I understand, I'm dissapointed in myself. It makes me feel like I'm betraying my entire house! Maybe even all of Hogwarts. I mean, he could be a supporter or you-know-who. Sorry for being such a downer and I'm sorry if I ruined every chance at friendship with you for saying this. But it does feel nice to get it off my chest."
He sits dumbfounded. Is he implying that the guy he's thinking about is a Slytherin?! His heart races, but he reminds himself not to get his hopes up. He writes back quickly, his handwriting more messy than before.
"Hey, it's alright! Don't be ashamed."
He stops, debating once more on whether or not to tell him his house. That would be too risky, right? But maybe it would show him that not all Slytherins are the same? No, he'd just hate him. But... he likes a Slytherin! No, no Blaise you can't.
"It's your feelings and it's nothing to be ashamed of. If you have feelings for a Slytherin, then great! Even if you can never ever be with them, these feelings can teach you something. Perhaps this person can teach you something. Every feeling and person you care for is there for a reason. A friend told me that, a very dear friend."
He smiles and holds back tears as he continues to write.
"Besides, no one needs to know except you. You don't owe anyone anything, let alone the Gryffindors. The only person that needs to know about this is you and the only person that has the right to tell you what to do is yourself. Just be yourself and let yourself feel these emotions, even if you're afraid nothing will ever happen. There is nothing wrong with how you feel and you should allow yourself to feel for once. I notice this a lot in you, Neville. You always invalidate your feelings, judge yourself, and hold back your feelings and emotions. You also tend to keep your mouth shut a lot. You need to stop that. You deserve respect, especially from yourself. Don't be afraid to speak your mind. Even though you don't believe it, you are a Gryffindor! You were put there for a reason. Don't let fear shut you up. Don't let anything shut you up. I want you to start telling things like it is and allowing yourself to feel. You deserve it. Now, I wanna do something. It's a simple yes or no. I'm gonna make a few guesses to who this person is, because I do have a few guesses. This one might be completely stupid but, Gregory Goyle? Just a guess though. Next guess, Draco Malfoy? Again, probably stupid but who knows. He isn't ugly so I'd understand. The very last guess is,"
He scolds himself for what he's about to do next, but does it anyways.
"Blaise Zabini? By the way, if all my guesses are wrong, then that will be the end of it. I don't get to guess anymore. That's the end of it."
He takes a deep breath, willing himself not to destroy the whole letter. He sends it off and waits. An hour passes, then another hour, then another. He began to worry that he really messed up, until a letter drops right into his lap.
"Thank you for that. I really appreciate everything you do for me. I'll try my best to be better to myself. I'll talk to you later, yeah? Be safe, please. Eat good food and stay warm.
P.S. I choose to not answer to those guesses. I apologize, but I don't wish to say anything about it. Talk to you later!"
He sighs and places the letter onto his desk. He should've known it was stupid to try and guess. Great job, Blaise! You idiot! He plops onto the bed, just to be asked a few minutes later to lunch with Luna and her father.