Chapter 2
Summary:
alex wakes up a captive
Chapter Text
Alex felt like she was underwater. All her senses felt muted. she couldn't open her eyes, was too exhausted to even try. She couldn't move. It was all she could do to cling to the little consciousness she did have.
She tried to push herself up through the heavy weight of sleep. Sleep? No, she shouldn't be sleeping. Eventually she could hear some sounds filtering through. Even more slowly she became aware of sensation and she sluggishly felt herself land in her body. She still couldn't open her eyes but she could feel again. She became aware of the fact that she was lying down, of the cold concrete underneath her. The cold and discomfort punched holes in the remaining fog forcing her to wake up. Wake UP!
Alex sucked in a breath and opened her eyes. what she saw made no sense. She was in what looked like an old warehouse with concrete everything and rusted pipes sticking up at odd places. It was dark because there were no windows. Or was there? She squinted. No it wasn't a window but a light, a flood light like what they would use on night crime scenes.
Alex tilted her head to see more and her world shifted, spinning around twice before landing back into place. She groaned and slowly sat up pushing up with her hands. The clank of a chain made her look down and gasp. Her hands were chained. Handcuffed to a solid, thick four ft long chain secured firmly to a metal loop sunk into the concrete.
Alex eyes widened and she felt her heart begin to race. Her head snapped up and she scanned around again. A man lounged lazily on a concrete slab that looked like a bench. He lay before a small folding table with a computer on it.
Alex shoved herself to her feet. But the drug he'd given her must have been strong because she staggered drunkenly.
"Careful" the man called out.
Alex wobbled and managed to get her feet underneath her. "Who are you?" she demanded. She held her arms out in front of her, partly for balance and partly to defend herself.
The man simply chuckled. "I must say alex, I'm impressed. You shouldn't even be awake for another two hours." He smiled appreciatively.
Alex blinked, struggling against the drug. His response confused her. "Who are you?" she demanded again. "Where am I?"
"Oh Alex," the stranger said almost dreamily. "What a complicated question. 'Who am I?' Might as well ask what is the meaning of life."
Alex cut him off. The drugs made her feel fuzzy and she was frightened. "Fine. What is your name?"
"A name. What's in a name? really? Is it simply a designation, a means of identifying each other? Or is it something more? Is it a metaphor? A symbol? A representation of your soul?" He arched his brow at Alex. She felt herself still swaying and decided to sit before she fell. She sank to her knees with her hands before her, ready to leap up if need be. She stared at him coldly, her eyes never leaving his. "No? Okay, well we will save our philosophical discussion until later then." He conceded.
Finally he moved. He shifted and swung his feet to the floor and leveled his eyes at alex. "Who I am isn't important really. It's who you are, that is important."
Alex looked at him for a moment on edge. She shook her head at him. "I am no one," she said truthfully.
"Oh Alex," the man shook his head regretfully at her. Alex squinted in confusion at the sorrow in his voice. "That's what they made you believe didn't they?" He rested his elbows on his knees and leaned forward towards her. "You are extraordinary and don't even know it."
Alex shook her head. What was going on? "What do you want" she repeated in a commanding tone, the tone she used to threaten Winn. The man didn't seem to be intimidated, quite the contrary. He leaned forward and rested his chin in his hands.
"I want you," he said simply.
Alex sucked in a breath and flicked her eyes quickly back and forth. She instinctively brought her hands up to protect herself.
The man noticed and smiled plainly. "Or more specifically, I want someone you love."
Alex froze, forgetting how to breathe. Her eyes bored into his.
"Like I said what's in a name? Kara? Supergirl..."
Alex sucked in a short breath. "What?"
The man smiled at her amused. "Come now alex. I want supergirl. I know who she is just like I know who you are.
"Youre wrong." Alex tried unsuccessfully.
"No im not. And thanks to you, I will have her."
A strangled cry escaped from Alex as she shot to her feet. "No," she pleaded desperately. The man looked at her with pity. "No," she continued fiercely. "Leave her out of this. You said you wanted me. Now you've got me." She glared at him defiantly. She held out her hands. "Whatever you want to do to her, do to me instead. You won't be able to hurt Supergirl, you won't be able to handle her. "Alex dropped her hands. "But me?" Alex swallowed and looked away for a split second before returning her intense stare. "I am already yours."
Alex stood tense, clenching her fists. She willed this stranger to see her, to see that she was right, to leave Kara alone. The man simply leaned back and rested his hands on his knees.
"Like I said, extraordinary. To ever say you are no one is a crime." He leaned forward returning her stare. "Not every hero wears a cape, alex." He said softly. Then he looked over at the computer which was chirping quietly. He got up slowly and went to stand in front of the monitor which was positioned with its back to alex so she couldn't see anything.
Alex followed him with her eyes. She waited, desperately, waiting to hear his response to her proposal. She clenched her fists even harder so her nails cut into her palms. "Well?" she called out harshly when she couldn't stand the silence anymore.
He looked back at her absently. "I'm sorry Alex, but Supergirl must pay."
"No." Alex shook her head. She felt fear grip her insides and refuse to let go. "No." she said again.
She turned, surveying her surroundings. There had to be something she could use, something to help her escape. She turned in a complete circle. But there was nothing. Just concrete, her chain attached to the floor, the concrete bench, computer on a small table and a large projector screen. Alex tilted her head in confusion at the screen but kept searching. She closed her eyes. there must be something. she calmed the beating of her frantic heart and rapid breathing to be able to listen-for traffic, sounds of the city, water, sounds of nature, anything. She took a deep breath through her nose and tried to identify all the odors. She felt the stagnant air against her skin and the solid floor beneath her feet. She knelt and put her palms against the cold surface and tried to feel for vibrations. Seeking for something, anything, to give her a clue as to where she was.
Suddenly he was speaking to her again. "Theres no use, you know. They will never find you," he said, guessing what she was doing.
Alex snapped her eyes open and bared her teeth without even realizing it. She ignored him and inspected the cuffs capturing her wrists. They were shackles really, thick and welded together. She tugged and squirmed against it but there was no give. She pulled against the chain and it snapped taut. The chain was heavy, five times the size of a regular chain and smelled of rusted metal. She grunted, but this as well, wouldn't budge.
"Don't worry. It won't be long now," he mused absently, staring at the computer monitor, his eyes flicking up to hers before returning.
Alex yanked at the chain again. "Won't be long before what?" She spat.
He looked up at her fully. "You know, at first I wasn't sure what you saw in detective Sawyer. But now I get it," he said thoughtfully.
Alex swayed at the abrupt, casual mention of her girlfriends name. "What did you say?" she gasped. She clenched and unclenched her fists.
"Don't worry," he said glancing back at the screen. "It's supergirl who will pay."
Alex breathed a small sigh of relief than felt horrified. How could she be relieved that it was Kara and not Maggie he wanted? But she didn't have time to contemplate because at that moment the large screen set up next to the computer, turned on.
It was a live feed into the DEO. Alex gasped as Kara flew in with Maggie and began bellowing for answers. She deposited Maggie immediately and strode forward. The determination on her face filled Alex with love, pride, hope.
Then supergirl stopped and her face filled with horror. There was a silence broken only by a barely whispered "Alex". Apparently they could see her as well.
Suddenly Supergirl was filling up the entire screen, as close as she could be without crashing through the wall. "Alex!" she yelled frantically. "Are you okay? Where are you?"
Her blue eyes frantically searched her sister for signs of injury. The chain around alex wrist was like a heavy chain on her own heart, constricting too painfully.
Maggie felt frozen. Her mind refused to make sense of what she was seeing. Winn jolted up with his face a mask of shock. Jonn took a step forward, his eyes filled with terror but trying to hide it.
"I'm fine Supergirl," Alex started. But the man stepped from behind the computer into visual range of the screen and everyone at the DEO.
Before anyone was able to react, the man started speaking. "Nice of you to show up Kara."
Kara whipped her gaze towards him. "Who are you?! What do you want?"
The man seemed unconcerned by Karas harsh tone or the threats laced through it. He glanced casually over to Alex and arched an eyebrow. "Really Alex? Supergirl. Come on, we all know that the caped crusader is in fact your little baby sister, Kara Danvers."
"What do you want?" Kara repeated, even deadlier than before. She didn't spare a thought as to how he knew who she was; she didn't care. She would deal with that later, when Alex was safe.
He turned and stared at her, his calm eyes hardening. "You. I want you."
Kara reeled and sucked in a short breath. Then she furrowed her brows and clenched her fists. "Here I am. You have my undivided attention. Now what do you want?" her voice was commanding, impatient, hiding the fear coursing through her.
He chuckled at her in a patronizing way. "I already told you. I want you."
Karas eye flashed and she leaned even closer to the screen. "Then let my sister go and you can have me."
"Kara no!" Alex shout was cutoff when the man violently backhanded her across the face. She was completely taken by surprise. Her head whipped around, her world tilted and she crashed into the floor.
"Alex!" Kara screamed. She clenched her fists up in front of her, her breath ragged, every part of her wishing to be able to reach the man holding Alex, to tear him apart.
The man glanced at Alex sprawled on the floor before turning back to Supergirl. "Always so brave. Always so selfless, isn't she?" he asked Kara.
Kara leaned even closer, clenching the desk below the screen for support. "Take me. Let. Alex. Go," She instructed in a deadly voice barely above a whisper.
The man seemed to consider Karas words before slowly shaking his head. "No. As Alex herself pointed out to me earlier, when arguing that I should hurt her instead of you, by the way, I would never be able to contain you Kara. And im afraid I have to agree. I am no match physically for supergirl."
Kara felt each word like a sucker punch to the stomach. She slammed her palms down hard enough to dent the metal surface. "You said you wanted me! So take me!" Her breathing was too fast as she tried to control her emotions. She glared at him, wishing she could use her heat vision to scorch him from the face of the earth. She looked at Alex who was struggling to get back to her feet. Karas heart contracted painfully at the blood dripping down alex face. The man followed her gaze and stepped to the side slightly before continuing to speak.
"I should have been more clear. It was true when I said that I wanted you. But I did not finish my sentence. I want you…to suffer."
"Then hurt me!" Kara bellowed. "Do whatever you want to me, drown me in kryptonite. Just let Alex go!"
The man just smiled. "I said I wanted you to suffer. And what is the best way to make Supergirl suffer?" He spread his arms and looked around. Suddenly he dropped his arms and took a step forward, his face twisted with hate. "This. Make her, the girl of steel, completely powerless... For the first time since you landed on this planet you will know what it is like to be human. You will know what it is to be helpless, to know that YOU are the cause for your sisters pain.
Karas hands clenched tighter to the desk and her entire body went rigid. Her breath caught in her throat.
"So you, Supergirl, will not move from where you are. You will stay, and you will watch, and you will finally know the pain and destruction you bring."
Chapter 3
Summary:
Alex captor is intent on showing her what a terrible sister kara has been; and so begins the mind games
Note: there is some non-consensual touching
Chapter Text
Maggie started forward as the blow landed on her girlfriend, as Alex fell, as Alex collapsed onto cold concrete. She didn't know what she was going to do, only that she need to get to Alex. Alex. Alex.
But suddenly jonn was in front of her, blocking Maggies path. She didn't look at him just tried to go around him. He blocked again and again she tried to dodge around him. She let out a frustrated growl.
"Maggie no." Jonn urgently whispered. She shook her head. She tried again to brush past him. Suddenly jonns arms were on her shoulders trying to steer her away. Maggie didn't even think she just reacted. She ducked and swung and kicked and flung elbows, but then there were more hands on her and they were dragging her backwards. They drug her out of the door and around to corner into the hallway and slammed her up against the wall.
"Maggie, stop." Jonn commanded. His heart twisted at the agony in Maggies eyes, the depth of love this woman had for his adopted daughter. "Maggie," he said soothingly. "Breathe. Relax."
Maggies eyes flared up at him. His words seemed to snap her out of the daze she was in. "Relax? How can you tell me to relax? That monster has Alex. Alex!" She shouted alex name. She was panting and desperation burned in her throat.
"You will relax because Alex needs you to. She needs you." He leaned closer, speaking intently. "You will stay away from that screen because you must. Because if he sees you, he will capture you as well as he has Supergirl, force you to watch, toy with you, use you against Alex and incapacitate you in any efforts to find her. Because we will find her. But only if we work together."
Maggie instantly stilled and the anger flooded from her. Jonn was right, she needed to focus. She needed to keep it together to find Alex. She nodded. Jonn noticed the change, nodded at her and slowly let his arms drop from her shoulders. She hadn't even felt them there. She turned to find Winn and several other agents staring wide eyed at her.
"Whats the plan," she asked jonn in a hoarse voice.
"If you move, you will be telling me that your sister does not matter. And she will die. Slowly. Painfully. Alone."
But both Kara and the man had forgotten about Alex. Suddenly she kicked and caught him in the side of the leg. He was too far away for her to do any real damage but it was enough to distract him. He turned towards her and she slammed another foot into his stomach. He doubled over but threw himself to the side rolling away from Alex before she could follow up. She growled in frustration and jerked futilely at the chain.
Alex looked up at her sister and didn't know what to say. There were so many things warring inside her, so many things she needed to say. Kara seemed to understand, to feel the same way. Their locked eyes communicated desperate words their brains couldn't seem to formulate, articulate.
The man rolled to his feet and let out a chuckle. Alex flicked her eyes to him warily. "Seriously Alex. You are amazing. Its too bad you have such a terrible sister. Its too bad you have to get hurt because of her."
Alex shifted towards him holding up her fists warningly. "My sister is the amazing one. And the only person here who is hurting me, is you."
He shook his head at her again. "Since the moment Kara entered your life she has been nothing but an ungrateful burden."
"You're wrong," Alex spat at him.
"We'll see." He started pacing casually in front of Alex. He brought his hand up to his chin thoughtfully. "But what is it your mother, starting the day Kara arrived, always said, still says to you?" He paused his slow movements and stared at Alex, waiting.
Alex pressed her lips together and narrowed her eyes. she refused to play his games. He noticed her resistance and frowned. He let out a heavy sigh.
"I was hoping we could do this the easy way." Then he strode forward towards Alex. She brought her arms up defensively and squared her body to his in a defensive posture. He came swinging and Alex blocked the first swing and ducked under the second. He was trying to force her back but Alex knew the chain wouldn't let her and tried to turn and circle him instead. She was successful once, twice, but she had nowhere to go. His elbow clipped her above the eye and for an instant she saw stars. Then the air whooshed from her as he brought a knee up savagely into her stomach. He backed up as Alex landed on all fours coughing roughly.
He squatted down, out of her reach, and said calmly, "just answer my question. Don't make you little sister watch this."
Alex glared up at him with a snarl. But then she looked over at Kara on the screen. At Karas blue eyes swirling with agony and fear and anger and Alex relented. Still on the ground and panting slightly Alex leaned back to sit with her legs folded under her. "She would always tell me to take care of my sister," She said defiantly. She raised an eyebrow at the man in challenge and ignored the warm trickle of blood she felt slowly trailing from it.
"Yes," he said softly. "You didn't matter anymore. Take care of your…sister. Not take care of yourself, no. Kara was the one who was more important, the one who should be put first." He looked at her sadly.
Alex shook her head, rejecting his words. "No," she stated simply. "No."
"No?" He arched an eyebrow at her skeptically. "Your mothers words seem to be pretty clear."
Alex just stares at him hostilely, sick of his games. "Why don't you untie me and I can explain it to you."
He smiles at her amused. "Because Alex, we both know that I am no match for you. Even with the chain you are a formidable opponent."
Alex growled in frustration. She hated feeling helpless, she hated the way he said her name, the way he smiled so sadly at her, the way he was playing with her and her sister. She wanted to lung to her feet and tear him apart. But she couldn't, because he was smart and staying too far away from her.
Kara didn't think she could take anymore of this. Her pulse was racing and pounding in her ears. She felt like her heart was being shredded. "Alex! Are you okay?!" She leaned forward, trying to get as close to her sister as she could.
Alex looked up at her sister, the pain in Karas voice like shards of glass. Alex smiled reassuringly. "Im okay Kara."
"She is far from okay, kara. And it is your fault." The man turned and addressed kara with cool, distant eyes. He turned back to face alex, pacing slowly so he could see kara on screen and alex sitting on her knees in front of him. "And I don't just mean because she is here, but rather everything she has done for you, everything she has lost."
"You don't know what you are talking about," alex said to him harshly.
"No? You gave up your medical career for her, didn't you?" he stared at alex piercingly. "Didn't you?"
Alex pursed her lips. Her nostrils flared. She hated his twisted words, hated what he was doing to her and her sister. The man took a step towards her his fists raised and alex spat out the answer he was waiting for because she didn't want kara to have to see this. She didn't want her baby sister to have to see her hurt.
"Yes. I came to work at the DEO because I love kara and I wanted to protect her. but also because I wanted to help the people of nation city and that was the best way I could do it. And I love my job. I have no regrets."
He quirked an eyebrow at her. "Maybe. But what about everything else she has taken from you?"
Alex stared at him coldly.
He continued, "What about all the time, energy, attention, love she has taken from you? Hm?"
Alex shook her head at him and her lip curled into a snarl.
"And I don't just mean from your mother, or from you, from that fact that you have dedicated your life to her. What about your father?"
Alex felt a cold shard of ice lodge in her stomach. She stilled. "You shut your mouth." She threatened as she brought her hands back up in warning.
The man swayed closer to alex and stated in a matter of fact voice, "He was taken from you because of her." Alex shook her head. "Yes. He was taken from you because of her, because she came to live with you. You lost your father, lost him from your life…because of her."
He waited for a response but alex kept shaking her head. She rose to her feet and stepped back from him.
"No," she said almost to herself.
"Yes." He said softly.
"No!" alex shouted, her eyes blazing.
Suddenly the man moved. Alex tried to grab his arm with hers to wrap him up so she could use her legs but he deflected her. he kicked out and caught alex in the side of the leg. She barely felt it she was so focused. She closed the distance between them and grabbed ahold of his shoulder with her chained hands and brought her knee up as hard as she could. He doubled over forcefully and held onto alex shoulders for support. But before alex could bring her knee up or her elbows down onto his face, he lunged up, grabbed each side of her head and slammed his forehead into her face.
Alex stumbled back as every part of her went numb. She lost her grip on his shoulders. Her vision went white and fuzzy and she slowly sank to the floor as her knees gave out.
"Alex! ALEX!" Kara was screaming. "Alex!" Kara clutched at the console for dear life. She couldn't breath and the world seemed to be spinning.
The man eyed alex, dazed on the floor, for a moment before turning to Kara. She lunged forward, her eyes red with barely contained heat vision.
He noticed. He laughed. "That's not going to save her supergirl," he taunted.
She barely contained a growl and shifted her attention back to alex.
Alex stirred on the floor and slowly pushed herself up into sitting. When she managed to focus again, the man was before her. Alex lunged clumsily but he sprang back out of reach. The chain snapped taut and alex arms were wrenched to the side but her momentum pushed her upper half forward. She landed on her shoulder. The whole time her eyes never left his even as she sat up again.
He smiled at her. "Like I said, so brave. So extraordinary." He glanced back at kara then again at alex. He went back to his slow pacing. Alex waited for whatever poison he would spew next and tried to get her wits about her. she shook her head to try and clear it. she still felt numb from that headbutt.
Kara waited and swallowed hard. She had never felt so helpless. She swallowed again. Seeing alex hurt, bleeding, being taunted and tortured… because of her, because she was supergirl…
"Do you know the worst part, alex?" the man asked casually. "Besides always being second, always being less important, feeling the need to devote ever part of your life to your sister, and even losing your father because of her. Do you know what the worst part is?"
Alex glared at him with defiant eyes and pushed herself to her feet once again.
He almost smiled at her before whispering, "You could never replace the family she lost. You could never be as good as her dead parents, her dead planet. No matter what you do, deep down you know that if she had to choose, she would not choose you…"
Alex felt his words like bullets to her heart. She shrank slightly in on herself as if afraid of being struck. She took a step to steady herself. She wanted to reject his words as the lies that they are. But…but a small part of her wondered if it was true.
He saw the shadow of doubt cloud alex eyes for the first time. He smiled triumphantly. "Why don't you ask your sister what you know you want to? Why don't you ask her if Im right?"
Alex looked at him and shook her head. "No."
He tilted his head at her. "Are you afraid of the answer?"
"No." alex responded, just short of fully convincing.
"Then why don't you ask her?" he reasoned.
Kara couldn't breathe. A cold hand clenched her heart and her head felt disconnected from her body. "Was it true? Was what he said true?" she bit her lip. "After everything she had been through with alex, after everything she had cost her sister, would she still pick her parents if given the choice?"
The man was tired of waiting for alex. He sprang forward again but this time alex had no chance. He stepped on the chain binding alex before she could do anything. The chain snapped down and pulled alex with it. The man stopped alex forward momentum with his fist crashing into her face. She dropped like a stone and he stood over her and kicked her savagely into her side. Alex hissed and curled trying to protect her side. He brought his leg back again and brought it forward even harder. But this time Alex caught his foot against her side and leaned up and jammed a shoulder into his knee.
He tumbled backwards and alex tried to spin to use her legs to kick out at him since the chain trapped her hands. But he rolled out of the way as soon as he hit the ground and leapt to his feet. He hammered another kick into alex side and danced away before she could react. Not that he had to worry too much this time.
The kick caught alex squarely in the side and she heard a few ribs snap as the force of the kick flipped her over onto her back. She couldn't breath and everything went white again. She gasped and was in agony. She tried to cough but any breathing sent sharp pains throughout her entire chest and side. She curled up on her side trying to brace her broken ribs.
The man looked down at alex then back to kara with a snarl on his face. "Do you see what you made me do? How you made me hurt her? she doesn't deserve this!"
Kara had tears leaking out of her eyes. "Stop. Please! Stop it." she begged. "Whatever you want, please, I will say it. Just please stop hurting her!" kara shouted the last sentence trying to contain the sobs building up inside her.
The man eyed kara and then nodded. He went over to alex and knelt down behind her. kara tensed but all he did was gently brush hair out of alex face before hauling her to her knees. He cradled alex in front of him, her head against his chest.
Alex was in agony. She was still trying to breath when she felt movement. It took several seconds before she was able to register the fact that she was on her knees leaning back into the chest of the man who had kidnapped her. She tensed and tried to slam an elbow back into his torso. Her ribs stole her force, her breath, making her strike ineffective.
The man holding alex frowned at her attempts to escape his grasp. He clamped one hand down on alex shackled wrists and the other wrapped itself in alex hair at the base of her neck. He yanked her head back. Even after everything she still glared up at him with defiant eyes.
But Alex refused to look up into his smiling face and tore her gaze to kara on the screen. Kara was shaking and breathing so rapidly so harshly it was almost as if she had the broken ribs and not alex. "Alex," she cried.
Alex wanted to respond to kara, to tell her it was okay. But she couldn't, because she still couldn't breathe.
"You have something to say Supergirl," the man prompted.
Kara nodded roughly and looked away for a moment. She took a deep breath then turned and stared into alex eyes. "Hes right. I have been a terrible sister to you."
"Kara no," alex commanded. She tried to shake her head but the man behind her still had his fingers roughly in her hair.
"Let your sister speak," the man instructed patiently.
"No. kara no!" alex repeated determinedly.
The man wrenched alex head back even further and forced her off balance. She shuddered as she leaned even further into her kidnapper. He leaned down and smelled her neck before whispering in alex ear. "Let your sister speak. Don't make her watch as things get truly… unpleasant." He punctuated his last statement by bringing up the hand holding her wrists to trail slowly down her neck to tease the top of her shirt. The finger made its way back up and sickeningly caressed her throat up to her jaw before it dropped back down to her wrists.
Alex felt her pupils dilate in fear. Her breathing became even more ragged and she couldn't help the sharp tang of horror she felt reverberating through her entire body.
Kara paled in understanding and her stomach twisted violently. She had never seen alex look so scared so vulnerable, so helpless. She would never let that happen to alex!
"No," Kara gasped with wide eyes. "No."
The man looked at her expectantly, waiting.
Kara started again. "Alex, I have been a terrible sister to you." This time alex did not cut kara off, even though her whole body clenched and she had to grit her jaw to stop herself. "I have, hes right. I barged into your life and I was so wrapped up in my own feelings, my own secrets, that I didn't have any time for yours. I…it was all about me, all the time." Alex looked like she was about to object. Kara looked at her softly. "Alex, I wasn't there for you when you needed me to be. it was Maggie who finally helped you to realize you were gay, not me. I failed you."
Alex opened her lips to protest but kara shook her head. "No its true. We were always too focused on me, there was never enough time for you. I took away your mothers love. I was the reason she pushed you so hard, the reason she made you feel like you had to be perfect, feel like you were never enough.
Alex felt like a part deep inside her was crumbling. She tried to fight the sudden wetness of her eyes.
Kara continued. "I took your father from you. No I did," Kara said over alex objections. "If it weren't for me, if it weren't for me coming to live with you, he would never have been taken by the DEO. And that's a fact." Kara finished softly.
Alex swallowed and blinked furiously.
"And I don't know what I would do, if I could turn back time and keep krypton from exploding. But I do know that I love my life and I never want to imagine any life where you are not in it." Kara smiled at alex through the silent tears she didn't even know where spilling down her cheeks. Alex returned her smile warmly, lovingly.
"What about supergirl?" the man challenged. Kara looked at him sharply. "Do you love alex more than you love supergirl?"
kara hesitated, unsure what he wanted, unsure what he was implying.
"Whats it like, alex, to have even your sister put you second? Hm?" he glanced up with a sneer to kara. "Whats it like to know that any second, no matter how much you might need her, kara will leave you to play the hero.
"She doesn't play, she is a hero," alex corrected.
"Shhh," the man said softly. "whats it like to be second in your sisters life? Second to complete strangers?
"That's not true," alex started.
"Oh, but it is. Where were you when alex was taken, dear kara? Who was the one to notice? And how did they manage to get your attention?" He gazed at Kara knowingly, smugly.
Kara swallowed and looked at alex. "Maggie."
Alex took a sharp breath and wished she hadn't at the pain in her ribs.
"Maggie knew something was wrong. When alex didn't respond she went to alex apartment and then came to the DEO."
"Were you at the DEO?" he asked with faux patience.
"No, I was taking care of a situation at the train station."
"Of course you were. So they just called you and you came right away right?"
"No," kara whispered. "My coms were down so Maggie found me. She…she tried to get my attention but when that didn't work…she threw herself off of the balcony."
Alex eyes widened. "No! Maggie."
Kara continued in a rush. "Shes okay. I caught her and she told me what was going on and we flew back to the DEO. That's when we saw you on the screen…"
Alex was speechless. The man behind her wasn't however. "So it took alex girlfriend flinging herself to potential death to get your attention enough for you to notice that your sister had been kidnapped."
Kara looked down at her hands. "Yes," she whispered through grit teeth.
"Yes," the man echoed.
Alex heart twisted at the sight of karas pain. "It wasn't your fault," she tried to say.
The man cut her off by yanking her head back again and running his nose up her exposed neck and throat. He kissed her just beneath her jaw.
Alex shuddered and couldn't contain the dry heave she felt at his touch.
"Stop!" Kara commanded. "Stop. Yes! It was my fault. He is right again. after everything else I did to you, that I stole from you, I put you second in my life as well. I put being a hero in front of being a sister. And…and im sorry." Kara squeezed her eyes shut and drew in a shuddering breath before opening them again. "Im sorry."
Alex looked up at her with a pained expression. She wanted desperately to be able to reach out to kara, to be able to comfort her. but she was still chained to the floor, still being held helpless by this terrible man. "Theres nothing to forgive," alex said emphatically, ignoring the person behind her.
The man glanced at alex then at kara. "She loves you so much. Even though you don't deserve it." He shoved alex forward and got to his feet.
Chapter 4
Summary:
He smashed their emotional barriers, now he tries to break kara by breaking alex physically
Chapter Text
He strode over to a corner where he grabbed a long metal tube
Karas eyes widened when she saw it. It was a shock stick. It would send searing, painful bolts of electricity into whoever touched the end of it.
Alex tumbled forward but managed to catch herself before her head slammed into the cement floor. She laid on her side trying to breathe. She didn't see what he had in his hand until it was too late.
"No," kara said frantically. "No no no no. You're right I don't deserve her. She is caring and loving and selfless and too giving and she doesn't deserve what ive done, the pain ive brought her and her family. She doesn't deserve the way its always been about me, how its always, even now, about me." Kara talked faster and faster as the man continued to approach alex. She hoped her words would make him stop, would satisfy him. "No, please," she tried again. "You're right, you're completely right. alex is the amazing one and she deserves better. Please!"
But the man simply stared at kara as he held the shock stick up, hovering above alex body for a moment.
"No…" kara gasped.
He tilted his head at her to make sure she was watching, to make sure she saw. Then he lowered the shock stick down onto alex back.
Alex entire body stiffened immediately as every muscle in her body contracted involuntarily. She opened her mouth to scream but no sound came out because the muscles controlling her lungs were also tensed. Her eyes rolled back in her head and it felt like her body was shredding from the agony.
Until suddenly it was gone and she collapsed completely against the cold concrete. She sucked in a desperate breath and grabbed at the concrete floor as sobs shook her body. She couldn't open her eyes for several moments. She only opened them because she could hear kara pleading, kara in pain.
Kara screamed the scream that alex was unable to. Her whole body clenched along with alex and her mind went blank at the horror her eyes were seeing. "Stop! Please. Stop this! Let her go." She looked wide eyed at her sister struggling to breath and looked up to the man responsible. "Please stop," she tried again, her voice full of desperation.
"No."
Alex body snapped, rigid once more. She couldn't think, couldn't breathe, couldn't see. All she was aware of was pain crashing over her, coursing through her. it stopped for a moment, but before she could even draw a breath, it was back agian. It crushed her completely, smashing into every inch of her body. She couldn't breathe but didn't care because all she knew, all she could worry about, was pain.
Kara felt a fury flare inside her like shes never felt before. She snarled and felt the console disintegrate underneath her hands. She bayed her fury like the voices of a thousand wolves. Her insides, which a moment before felt like it was crumbling in on itself, now threatened to explode outward. She was still snarling when he finally stopped. She glared at him, eyes promising him death.
He simply gazed again at kara before he lowered the shock stick once more to alex.
Alex body slammed ram rod straight in an instant. She descended once more into a world of pain. But that's okay because things were also starting to be black and she knew it would be over soon.
Kara screamed again, a guttural feral cry of a wounded animal. Those still in the DEO heard it and felt their heart break along with supergirls. Karas knees felt weak and she couldn't stop the sobs. She held on desperately to the console in front of her, to hold her up. Something inside her broke at the sight of her sister breaking.
"Stop," she shrieked over the sound of electricity sapping through alex. "Please. Stop," she howled desperately.
The man stopped and kara found she could almost breathe again even though she was still sobbing. "Please. I will give you anything you want. But please, stop hurting her," kara pleaded. "Please." She was crying openly and hunched over in physical pain. It felt like for every bit of pain alex was feeling, karas own soul was being shredded. "Stop," she sobbed again. Alex still had not moved but kara could see her chest rising in short pants.
He didn't answer. He went to lower the shock stick once more but a soft beep on his computer stopped him. He walked over, off screen to read the message.
Kara was hyperventilating. What was he doing? Where did he go? She looked down at alex laying lifelessly on the unforgiving concrete. No! not lifelessly, she scolded herself. She could still see alex breathing, barely. But her chest was rising and falling so she was still alive damnit! Alex was a fighter, was a badass, alex will hold on until she could be rescued.
Kara snapped her attention back to the man as he came and stood over alex. He looked down at her almost wistfully. "You picked a good one in Sawyer. Shes almost as capable as you are." He squatted down next to alex and gingerly brushed the lose strand of hair away from her face. He let the back of his fingers brush alex cheek lightly. "I will see you soon," he whispered into her ear.
Kara, of course heard. She stiffened and felt sick at the mans non-consensual touching of her sisters body. She shuddered at his undertone, at the words hed left unsaid, at the lingering look that said he wanted to do so much more to alex.
He looked up at kara and smiled. He winked and then was gone. Kara waited half a heartbeat and then called out on all coms. "Where is she!"
Maggie responded first. Before she could even finish giving the location kara was gone.
She flew faster than she'd ever flown before. She burst into the abandoned warehouse, barely slowed when she saw Maggie and DEO agents making their way in with guns drawn. She didn't slow until she saw alex.
Alex.
Alex. Her big sister, her hero. Now crumpled on the floor because of her, because of kara. Kara could hear alex heart beating erratically, breathing weakly. She zoomed to a halt and knelt down next to alex. For a moment her hands just hovered over alex, then slowly, gingerly kara moved her sister onto her back.
Alex groaned at the movement and forced her eyes open. She had never been so happy to see kara as she was right then. "Kara," she breathed, trying to lift her hands to karas face. The chains stopped her.
Karas eyes blazed in fury and she ripped the shackles from alex wrist and flung them across the room. She looked at alex and the love that she saw there broke her completely. Her face twisted in guilt and agony. She held out her hands as if she wanted to touch alex but was afraid to. "Im so sorry," she gasped. "Im so sorry. Im so sorry," she repeated.
Alex tried to comfort kara but when she reached out kara drew back. Alex tried again but things went dark before she could.
Kara saw alex hand fall, saw her head loll back and she carefully swept her sister into her arms and flew straight into the DEOs med bay.
She laid alex down as gently as she could. The medical team was already there waiting. They immediately went to work applying sensors and calling out orders. Kara watched in horror. She watched for the uneven rise and fall of alex chest, listened for the unsteady beat of her heart.
Then jonn was there ushering her out. Kara resisted weakly. She needed to be there. she needed to see alex to make sure she was real, that she was there with kara right now.
"You need to let them work. You will only be in the way," jonn said as gently but firmly as possible. Kara looked up at him then turned out into the hallway.
She felt like she was reeling and her world was spinning. She put a hand on the wall to steady herself. Jonn tried to speak to her but she turned from him. She brought up her other hand and grasped at the wall desperately. She couldn't breathe. All she saw was alex. Her sister. Being tortured. Because of her. Her nails scraped against the wall as her knees gave out. She saw alex being struck, kicked, bleeding. She watched again and again as alex writhed in agony.
Kara wrapped her arms around herself and rocked slowly back and forth. "No. no no no. Alex," she kept repeating to herself. She squeezed her eyes shut but that did not shut out the image of her sisters barely breathing form splayed out unmoving. Because of her. because of kara. Because of supergirl.
Someone else was in front of her trying to talk to her, trying to touch her, call her back but she refused to listen. She turned further into the wall and kept rocking back and forth. Alex. Alex. Alex being touched by that man. Alex shuddering in fear. Alex gasping in agony. Alex. Alex suffering. Alex.
Maggie charged into the DEO. She didn't bother stopping for security. She didn't stop running until she was outside medical. She whipped around the corner and slowed slightly as she spotted jonn, winn and james standing in the corridor but she didn't stop. She didn't stop she just slid to a halt in front of the glass allowing her to observe everything that was happening with alex.
Fear clutched her heart and she forgot how to breath for a moment. Then jonn was with her. he explained what they were doing and what it meant. Maggie listened to him gratefully. Grateful to know what was going on, even as it felt as if her insides were wringing themselves out with anxiety. Even though it felt like a part of her would die if alex died. She put a hand on the glass, aching to be able to touch alex. She needed to reassure herself that alex was really there. That alex was still alive.
Eventually jonns reports became more hopeful. Eventually he said that while alex was really hurt, they had been able to stabilizer her. It was too soon to say for certain, but the prognosis was good.
Maggie breathed a deep sigh of relief and rested her head against the glass for a moment. Slowly she became aware of the corridor around her. she looked at jonn gratefully then nodded to a tight lipped james and a terrified, red eyed winn. She turned and took in kara. She was momentarily stunned by the state kara was in. kara was collapsed on the floor facing the wall, hugging herself fervently and rocking back and forth. She looked like she was in shock and oblivious to everything else in the world.
Maggies heart splintered a bit seeing karas naked pain. She bent down slowly next to kara. "Hey." She said softly. Kara didn't respond or notice Maggie next to her. Maggie tried again. "Hey kara," she said gently. She angled her body and lowered her face into karas line of sight. She waited until karas eyes focused on her slightly. "Hey kara. Hey," she called again.
Kara blinked at Maggie and Maggie slowly, gently reached out and touched kara on the shoulder. Karas eyes finally focused on Maggie and her face crumpled. She threw herself into maggies open arms.
"Oh Maggie!" kara cried into maggies shoulders, her body wracked with sobs. "Its all my fault. Alex was kidnapped and tortured and hurt because of me. Because im supergirl. Its all my fault." Kara was sobbing and shaking and clenching maggie desperately.
Maggie just held kara and rocked her gently back and forth. "Shhhh," she soothed. "Shhh. Its okay. Alex is okay. Shes going to be fine." Maggie rubbed slow circles on karas back. "Shhh. You're okay. You're okay." She kept whispering in karas ear and rubbing her back as she rocked kara until karas sobs slowed. Until kara could breathe again.
Eventually kara pulled back and looked Maggie in the eye. "Thank you," she whispered. Maggie just nodded and pulled kara into her side so they were sitting with their backs against the wall. They leaned into each other for support, for comfort. Maggie put an arm around kara and Kara grabbed maggies other hand and rested her head on maggies shoulder. Maggie leaned her head against karas and closed her eyes. She hoped and prayed with every fiber in her body, whishing, willing alex to be okay.
She wasn't sure how long she and kara kept vigil like that but after what felt like hours jonn squatted down in front of them and told them that they could go in. finally.
They walked through the door apprehensively. Maggie still had her arm around kara. Which was a good thing because when kara saw alex laying in the hospital bed, looking so small and vulnerable, her knees sagged. Maggie tightened her hold on kara and helped guide her to the bed to sit next to alex.
"Oh alex," was all kara managed. Her eyes had never left alex as they entered but now she couldn't meet them. Her lips trembled and her face laced with guilt and anguish and she turned away from alex. "Im so sorry." She sobbed. Her whole body shook. She clenched her fists and felt like the knowledge of what had happened to her sister, because of her, was going to shred her apart.
Before alex could try to move with her injured ribs, Maggie was there comforting kara. She drew kara into her chest again and held her as she sobbed. She let kara stay there for a while before she brought her hands to karas shoulders and leaned kara back. "Hey," she said softly.
Kara sniffled and tried to avoid maggies gaze. But Maggie reached a gentle hand and placed it under karas chin and lifted it so kara met her eyes. "Hey," Maggie repeated. "Youre okay. Alex is going to be okay. But she needs you now. so please. Talk to her."
Kara took a deep breath then nodded. She steeled herself then scooted closer and looked down at alex. The sight of her sister so abused made her want to collapse again but she grit her jaw and held it together.
Alex reached out a hand and rested it on karas forearm. She was surprised when kara stiffened under her touch. "Kara its okay."
Kara looked away sharply like she wanted to disagree.
"Kara, please. Talk to me. Im right here. Im okay."
Kara took another deep breath then looked back at alex. "Youre right. im sorry. Im so sorry. Its all my fault. How can you even stand to look at me after what he did to you? Because of me."
Alex brought her other hand up to karas own and squeezed. "No kara. Its not your fault. He is the only person responsible for his actions. He chose to kidnap me. T-torture me. Not you." Alex smiled sadly at kara. "He chose to torture you as well."
Kara opened her mouth but alex cut her off. "Yes kara. I was not the only one being hurt. He was tormenting you as well." Kara gave a short nod. "We are all going to be affected by this." Alex told kara gently. Then she looked over at Maggie.
Maggie stood hovering over the bed. She had her arms crossed hugging herself. She met alex eyes and gave a faultering smile. Alex was right. they were all going to be affected by this. She had almost lost alex today. Lost the woman she loved most in the world. She wanted to wrap herself protectively around alex and never let her out of her sight again.
Alex held out her hand and Maggie went around the bed to sit on the other side of alex.
Alex took maggies hand and squeezed karas. "Its okay. Im okay. You are both okay," she said looking between kara and Maggie.
"But its not okay alex." Kara protested. "Because he is still out there and he could try again."
Something unidentifiable flickered in alex eyes. she nodded slowly. "Youre right. and that thought terrifies me. But I also know that we are stronger together. Stronger than him." She looked at kara and Maggie fiercely. "We will always protect each other, be there for each other. No matter what. I have to believe it. I refuse to believe anything else."
Maggie squeezed alex hand. "Youre right alex. And im also sure that this wont be the only conversation we have about this."
It looked like Maggie wanted to say more but kara whispered softly. "He was also right about everything else. About me."
Alex looked up at her sharply. "No. kara. Don't even think it."
"No. its true. All of it."
Alex shook her head. "Maybe we have some things to work on, to talk about, but kara. But that man was a monster. Don't listen to his poisen."
Kara hesitated then gave a weak nod. Not because she believed alex, but because alex needed her to. From now on kara promised herself to put alex first. To do what alex needed her to, to protect her and keep her safe.
Alex squeezed both their hands again then pulled on them. she tugged them both into bed with her and snuggled into the comforting warmth, the solid reassurance of the women she loved. They held her safe all night long as she slept.
But in the darkness Maggie looked over at kara and saw that she was awake as well. Maggie nestled even closer to alex then put a gentle hand on karas arm. Alex was right when she said it would affect all of them.
Chapter 5
Summary:
maggies/karas reaction to what happened
There is no right or wrong way to respond to trauma, everyone heals differently. However there may be healthier ways than others. The next few ch are based on my own experiences-some things ive felt, done, said, wished someone had said to me; but I cant speak to anyone elses experiences.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Maggie stared at alex sleeping form lying next to her. She was exhausted. She should be sleeping. But Maggie couldn't sleep. She reached an arm across alex stomach and snuggled closer, resting her head on alex chest. She held on tight and listened to the steady rhythm of alex heart.
Much as she had for the past week, Maggie couldn't sleep. She couldn't sleep until she was sure alex was okay, was safe, was sleeping in her arms. When Maggie thought about what had happened to alex, how she had been kidnapped, held helpless while being mentally and physically tortured and nearly…
Maggie squeezed her eyes shut and drew in a shakey breath. She let it out slowly and focused on the steady thump thump thump of alex heart. When she thought about how close shed come to losing alex, the person she loved most in the world, it was enough to shred her soul. Maggie lifted her head slightly with her chin still resting on alex shoulder and gazed into alex face made soft by sleep. She didn't know what would happen if she lost alex, but Maggie knew that she could never bear to find out.
Kara stood raggedly in front of the screen once again. She clenched the control panel with both hands as her eyes took in the image on screen. Alex. Alex in chains.
Kara slowly moved a hand to press play. She watched as alex scolded her for trying to trade herself for her. She flinched as that monster struck her sister, as she fell, as she spilled onto the floor. Kara rewound the tape and watched again the moment he backhanded alex, as she turned in midair and collapsed. Kara rewound again and played it in slow motion, memorizing her sisters expression, her surprise and her pain.
Kara didn't know why she kept coming back night after night to view the torment. All she knew was that she couldn't stop. it was like a toothache and the more it hurt the more she played with it and the more she played with it the more it hurt. All she knew was that she was the reason alex had suffered, the reason this had happened to her. Because of kara. Because she was supergirl.
Kara pushed play again and listened as the monster started spewing his poisen. She watched again and again as he came at alex, how she was unable to hold him off, how she collapsed onto all fours as he kneed her in the stomach. Kara watched helplessly once again as alex was forced to play his games, forced to recite how kara was a terrible sister.
Kara ground her teeth as she watched as this man twisted and exposed everything alex held dear. He ripped back the veil on some of the most intimate parts of alex soul-her mother, her father, nothing was sacred.
Kara growled and clenched her teeth as he came at alex again, as she crashed to the floor stunned. She hated the way he spoke about her sister, like he was the one who truly loved and adored her. kara clenched as she saw his toxic words begin to ebb away her sisters certainty. She felt a part of her heart crush at alex hesitation when thinking about kara choosing krypton over her. She wanted to cry and scream that it wasn't true. But was it?
Kara drew in a ragged breath and clutched even tighter at the console. She rewound it again. and again. She was dimly aware that every muscle in her body was rigid. She pressed play and watched as he smashed into alex and she dropped like a stone. Barely suppressed a moan as he kicked alex savagely in the side. Again and again. kara felt her knees go weak as he leaned forward and brushed the hair from alex eyes. She felt herself begin to hyperventilate at the sight of alex leaning helplessly back against him as he wrenched her head by her hair exposing her throat. Her stomach twisted violently and she shivered at the sight of him smelling alex neck, touching her, kissing her...
Kara gagged and squeezed her eyes shut. But she couldn't help but play each sickening moment again. Each blow, every strike, touch, violation were permanently seared into karas brain. She saw her sister so abused so tormented and felt each image like it was a shard of glass to her soul. But what truly shattered her was the fact that on some level she knew that monster was right. He was right! She had been a terrible sister to alex. She couldn't remember the number of sister nights that had been ruined because of supergirl. She hadn't even thought about alex or her safety when she decided to become a hero. Kara shuddered again and rewound the tape. She felt herself drowning in his words and alex pain. Her heart broke a little as, even after everything he'd done and said to her, alex still forgave kara immediately. 'Theres nothing to forgive' shed stated.
Kara stood hunched over and breathed raggedly. She advanced the video. She watched the man shove alex away then stand over her with the shock stick. She listened to her own ineffectual, desperate pleas. She jerked as he touched it to alex. Her fingers dug into the console and left a trail as her fingers scrapped down it. She watched as he tortured alex with it again and again. she could feel the tears streaming down her own face as she rocked back and forth. Her breath caught in her throat and she froze as he knelt down next to alex, brushed the hair from her face, touched her cheek ever so gently and whispered his promise that he would see her again. Soon...
Kara felt herself crumble and began to sob. She looked down at the suit she was wearing and felt an aversion flare within her so intense it threatened to gag her. Her stomach heaved and she grabbed at her cape and ripped it away then quickly shed the rest of her suit. She held it up in her hands staring at her familys seal then looked up to the bleeding, unconscious form of her sister. Her TRUE family. She dropped her suit and turned her back to it. It had almost gotten alex killed. No, SHE had almost gotten alex killed. And she could never allow that to happen.
Maggie woke with a start and automatically reached out for alex. She sat bolt upright when her hands encountered nothing but empty sheets. "Alex!" she called out desperately. "Alex!" she tore back the covers and leapt to her feet. She hit the ground running but her mad dash stopped as alex stepped out of the bathroom and came into view.
"Its okay maggie. Im here." Alex tried to reassure her holding her arms out calmingly.
Maggie nodded and gulped. She reached out and rested her hands on alex forearms. She had to be sure, she had to touch alex to make sure she was really there. But even though she knew alex was safe she couldn't stop her heart from racing. She squeezed tighter onto alex arms.
"Its okay sweetie," alex tried again.
Maggie nodded again but still she couldn't breathe. She felt a sob tear from her throat. "I know. Im sorry." Maggie couldn't look at alex and she found she also couldn't stop crying. The more she tried the harder her body shook.
"Hey," alex cooed. She took Maggie into her arms and held her tight. "Its okay Maggie. Its okay."
"But its not okay. Its not!" Maggie protested as she clutched desperately onto alex. "I woke up and you were gone. Gone! And I thought…I thought…" Maggie shook and couldn't bring herself to finish her sentence.
Alex just shushed her and held her closer.
Maggie couldn't believe how good it felt, how comforting it was to have alex hold her. Then she pushed herself back roughly. "Im sorry. I shouldn't…I mean you were the one…I should be taking care of you not the other way around," she finished pained.
Alex frowned and held onto maggies shoulders. "No." she stated simply. "This didn't just happen to me. It happened to all of us." Maggie tried to protest but alex shook her head and drew Maggie in closer. She stared intently into maggies eyes. "There is no you or me, there is only us. We are a team, a partnership and we are in this together." Maggie held alex gaze but couldn't respond. "what if you had been the one taken? Wouldn't you want to comfort me as well as have me comfort you?" Maggie pondered this for only a moment before she nodded. "We both need each other and there is nothing wrong with that."
Maggie nodded and felt the tears come again. "I was so scared alex. I was so scared what he was doing to you. I was so scared I would never see you again."
"I know." Alex murmured and captured Maggie in another encapsulating hug.
Maggie shuddered. "Im so sorry alex. Im so sorry I couldn't stop him. That I didn't get to you sooner. That he hurt you."
"Its okay Maggie-"
"But its not okay!"
"Youre right its not okay. But it will be." alex held Maggie until her breathing began to slow. Then Alex leaned her back and brushed the hair out of maggies eyes. "and it wasn't your fault, maggie. Don't even think it." alex saw the conflict in maggies eyes. "It was no more your fault than it was mine. Are you saying that it was my fault?"
Maggie drew back as if slapped. "No! alex of course not. I would never…"
"Because some might say, well alex you are a highly trained DEO agent how could you let him-"
"Alex no. no! Youre right. It is not my fault and it is not your fault. The only person whose fault it is is that asshole who decided to commit the crime. HE is the only one responsible for his actions!" Maggie brushed alex hair from her face and held her cheeks. "And yes you are a highly trained, very capable badass." Maggie rested her forehead against alex. "But you are also human. Which means you, like everyone else, are not invincible."
Alex nodded and felt her throat constrict. She didn't know she needed to hear it until Maggie said it to her just then. But it WASN'T her fault. Alex nodded again. She felt something within her chest loosen.
They laid back down in bed holding onto each other as closely as possible. Maggie tightened her hold on alex. "His actions say a lot more about him than they ever will about you alex." Maggie brushed alex hair sweetly. "And im not saying its okay. But I am saying that im here. With you. Always."
Alex nodded and returned maggies squeeze. "That's all I could ask for. I don't need you to fix it or to have any answers, because there aren't any. Right now, what I need is just someone to be there with me."
Maggie nodded. "You got it danvers." She held tightly onto alex until long after her girlfriend had fallen asleep again.
Notes:
If you are someone who has suffered trauma, or are just suffering, please take care of yourself. Its okay to ask for help. Not sure what to do- a good resource for sexual assault is has people you can talk to, get info about local options/resources, in english and spanish.
Even having someone disclose a traumatic event to you can be very stressful and upsetting and is also reason to seek help if needed. Many times you want to help that person, but you dont know how. Start with these things 1. understand the amount of trust they have in you, what it took for them to share the most intimate/devastating thing that has ever happened to them.
2. BELIEVE THEM! 3. DO NOT blame them- survivors greatest fears are that they will not be believed or they will be blamed for what happened. 4. Let them know there is no shame, whatever they needed to do to survive, is exactly what they needed to do. 5. Ask them what they want to do next. Disclosing to the police can be just as traumatizing as the assult. Do not make that decision for them or force them to do something they are not ready for (that already happened!), but do recommend getting medical attention. 6. Be there for them. You can NOT act as therapist and you dont have the answers/able to make it magically better, but you can BE there, even if its just sitting in silence because they dont want to be alone but they cant talk/or be by people right now.
Whew! that was heavy. But its a heavy topic and deserves to be handled with tact/grace/honesty.
Chapter 6
Summary:
maggies/karas response continued
Chapter Text
"So don't forget Maggie that we are going to karas tonight for movie night." Alex reminded her.
"Sure thing danvers. Do you want me to pick you up?"
Alex gave a small smile and leaned forward and grabbed her girlfriend by the collar of her shirt. "I may have had something terrible happen to me, but I can still drive."
Maggies eyes widened. "I know. That's not-I just-"
"Would feel better if you were able to escort me around 24/7?" alex raised an eyebrow.
Maggies mouth twitched sheepishly. "Well…"
Alex pulled Maggie in for a soft kiss. "I understand why you feel that way. And as much as I would enjoy that, I need you to trust me. So that I can trust myself. Please?"
Maggie kissed alex again, deeply. She poured her love, adoration, fear and desperation into the kiss.
"Whoa" alex commented as Maggie rested her forehead against alex.
"Okay alex. Every inch of me is screaming to smother you in protectiveness. But I know you are right. And I trust you."
Alex smiled and tucked a strand of maggies hair behind her ear. "Thank you." She whispered.
"Just don't be late. Or both kara and I will go full blown panic mode on your ass."
"I know. And I will text you or kara when im going to be away from my phone or if im going to be late for some reason. Just like we agreed."
Maggie leaned into alex and let out a deep breath. "Please do. I trust you, but you know im going to worry anyways."
"I know," alex agreed softly.
"I love you so much."
"I know. You too."
It was 6:03pm. Maggie looked at her phone again as she paced inside karas apartment. "We said 6 oclock right?"
"Yeah. And I haven't gotten any text from alex that said any differently."
Maggie nodded, glanced at the door and then went back to pacing.
Kara stood up from the couch and checked her phone again as well. There was no message from alex. She chewed her bottom lip as she eyed maggies pacing. "You don't think…?"
Maggie stopped suddenly and threw her hand out. "No! don't even say it!"
Kara nodded. She went over to the window and shifted anxiously back and forth looking out into the dark sky. She could feel a coil winding tighter and tighter inside her chest for every second alex was late.
Maggie looked at the clock again. 6:05. It was five minutes, no big deal. Right? Maggie took a deep breath then let it out slowly. "Lets wait a few more minutes then I will call her. if she doesn't answer then we can freak out."
Kara pressed her lips together but gave a short nod.
After several more minutes of tense silence and anxious pacing Maggie finally made the decision. "okay. Shes ten minutes late. Im going to call her and find out where the hell she is!"
Maggie pressed alex number and waited as it rang. And waited some more as alex didn't pick up. It went to voicemail. She hung up and immediately redialed. She eyed kara as alex phone went to voicemail again. "Alex! Where the hell are you? Call me!" Maggie jammed her phone back in her pocket and felt fear grip her insides.
"I think we've got a code red." Maggie informed kara as she pulled out her gun and checked it. She strode for the door as she shoved her weapon back into its holster just like she shoved down the fear threatening to drown her. She could freak out later, right now she needed to focus. She would focus!
Kara nodded determinedly about to leap out her window when she froze. Then she breathed a huge sigh of relief and zoomed over to the door to yank it open and hauled alex inside.
"Wha…what is going on kara?"
"What is going on? Do you know what time it is alex?" kara demanded.
"Where the hell have you been? Why didn't you answer your phone?!" Maggie shouted.
Alex held up her hands and surveyed the two very upset women in front of her. "Im sorry. Youre right im late. I just lost track of time."
"You lost track of time?!" kara asked incredulously. "You lost track of time!! Are you kidding me?!" kara yelled as she gripped alex painfully tight by the shoulders.
Alex eyes widened at the ferocity of karas words. For a moment she didn't know what to say. But kara didn't have that problem.
"What were you thinking? Do you know how worried we were?"
"I know im sorry I just…"
"That's not good enough alex." Kara started but then alex eyes flared. She pushed karas hands away.
"Of course its good enough. This is my life not yours. You don't own me. I can do or not do as I see fit!"
Maggie quickly stepped between them with her arms out. "Whoa. Okay. Lets just breathe for a second." She glared at kara then looked beseechingly at alex.
Kara huffed then looked away as she crossed her arms over her chest. Maggie reached out and rested a soft hand on alex arm.
"alex is right kara." Kara huffed again and threw her hands up. Before she could say anything Maggie continued. "But alex, kara is a little be right too." Alex opened her mouth to protest. Maggie brought her other hand to alex arm. "Sweetie." Maggie said gently. "We agreed on open communication. We agreed to let each other know if we are unreachable or if we are going to be late."
"But I didn't know I was going to-"
"I know. I know. And the last thing I want is for you to feel trapped or like we are hounding you within an inch of your life. Because that's no way to live either." Maggie said sincerely. She brought one hand to cup alex cheek. "But please know that this is hard for us too. We love you so much and all we want to do is keep you safe." She stared intently into alex eyes. "But if you need more space we will try to give it to you even if it feels like we would rather have our fingernails torn out than do it." alex gave a ghost of a smile. "So if we need to agree to different terms, then we can." Maggie stared into alex eyes. "And we will continue to have conversations, to check in with each other because this isn't just one conversation and done. Healing doesn't happen like that." Maggie rubbed alex cheek then slowly lowered her hand back to alex arm. "Just tell us what you need and we will try."
Alex gave a small nod. "I don't know what I need. Sometimes I feel like I want everyone to just leave me alone and quite looking at me like im about to break or burst into flames. Other times I never want to let you go and I just want to be held and taken care of." Alex gave a short growl of frustration. she turned away from Maggie and began to pace. "I don't know what I need. and that is super frustrating and upsetting. Which makes that question, which is so beautiful and thoughtful and supportive, so aggravating!" Alex gave another growl and felt her eyes start to water slightly.
"Hey," Maggie cooed. She slowly grabbed alex hands and turned alex towards herself. "Its alright. Its okay not to have the answers right now." Maggie gave alex hands a squeeze. "We will do whatever we need to to get through this. Whats needed today may not be the same as whats needed tomorrow, which is why we will just have to be open with each other."
Alex gave a short nod. Then she leaned forward into maggies chest and let her girlfriend wrap her up in a crushing hug.
Maggie rubbed alex back and looked across the room to kara. Maggie had never seen kara looked so anguished.
Eventually Maggie sheparded alex over to the couch and Kara joined them bringing the pizza that was just delivered.
Maggie put her arm around alex. "What do you want to watch?"
Alex buried her head into maggies shoulder. "Please don't ask me any questions. I don't want to have to make any deciscions tonight."
Maggie placed a sweet kiss on alex head. "Not a problem sweetie. Im sure kara and I can figure something out." Maggie raised an eyebrow at kara who seemed very distracted. She was staring at alex with a far away gaze and it took a moment for her to respond.
"A…whatever you want Maggie."
Maggie narrowed her eyes at kara. "Okay. Well…one of my favorite movies growing up was Annie…" when the others didn't respond Maggie popped the movie into the DVD player and resettled onto the couch with her arm around alex once more.
Maggie savored the feel of alex warm against her. She held alex safe, absently playing with a strand of her hair. She placed another kiss against alex temple then rested her head against hers.
After 20 minutes and several songs later, Maggie realized that no one had touched any of the pizza yet. Not even kara. Maggie glanced sharply at kara who still stared at alex with haunted eyes.
"Hey kara." Maggie reached out a hand and placed it on karas knee, who was sitting on the other side of alex. Kara jumped and took a moment for her eyes to focus on maggies. "Hey," Maggie said quieter. "Are you okay. Don't you want any pizza?"
Kara blinked. She looked at Maggie then to the pizza then back to Maggie. Her eyes landed on alex curled up into maggies side. Something hardened in her expression. "No thanks. Im just…im not hungry."
Maggie tilted her head sharply in surprise. Even alex seemed to wake from her reviere and turned to kara. "What are you talking about kara? Literally in all the years that I have known you, have you never NOT been hungry." Her mouth quirked. "I mean, on several occasions you have even threatened bodily harm over the last posticker."
The mirth on alex face faded as kara blanched and paled at her words. "No. Kara I didn't mean…" Alex started as kara shifted awkwardly then pushed herself to her feet.
"Its okay…I just need to…" kara turned and fumbled slightly. "Go to the bathroom." Maggie and alex followed kara with their eyes. Maggie frowned slightly. She knew kara was struggling as well, but she needed to take care of herself just as much as alex did.
Alex frowned after kara then rested her chin on maggies shoulder so she could look at her. "Thank you."
Maggie brushed alex forehead with her hand. "For what?"
"For being here. For putting up with me. For letting me be a little bit crazy right now."
Maggie smiled. "Of course. Remember what I said. Im here. And im sure there will be plenty of days where I am the crazy one and you will have to put up with me."
Alex gave a small chuckle. "Of course."
Kara rejoined them on the couch. maggie dished herself out some pizza and smiled as alex reached for several pieces of her own.
The sound of sirens filtering through the window caused Maggie and alex to turn to kara again.
"What?" she asked them.
Alex squinted at her. "Arent you going to…?"
Kara looked away defensively. "No. its movie night. Im not leaving you."
Alex narrowed her eyes even further. "No to pizza? And no to supergirl? Whats going on kara?"
Kara brought her legs up onto the couch. "What? Nothing. I just…no."
Alex pursed her lips unconvienced but for the moment let it drop. She grabbed karas and maggies hand and snuggled into them to finish watching the heartfelt movie.
Maggie tried her best to be supportive, give alex her space, to allow alex set the pace, to go against her own instincts and not drown alex in her protectiveness. But that didn't stop her from opening her own investigation, from trying everything possible to find that monster, from pouring every second of free time at work into the case. And try as she might it didn't stop her from now needing to touch alex whenever possible. Maggie was normally not super touchy feeling or affectionate, especially in public. But now, anytime she was next to alex she had a hand on her arm, shoulder, back. She pressed her side up against alex, rested her elbow against hers, anything as long as some part of her was touching alex.
Even when they were home safe, or with the gang, if she wasn't next to/touching alex, she would always be turned so she could see alex out of the corner of her eye. She couldn't help but hover, always acutely aware of where alex was, what was happening around her.
On the street in public Maggie went into overdrive on high alert. She constantly surveyed the people and their surroundings. She felt her anxiety spike anytime someone came too close. It got so bad that Maggie shoved a man so hard he fell to the ground to because he was a little too close and he looked a little to much like the man who took alex.
Alex finally had to call her out on it. She sat on the couch and pulled Maggie down next to her. "Listen Maggie. I know its been hard on all of us. And if you need to reassure yourself by staying close and…" alex thred her fingers through maggies "needing to feel me, that's okay. Because a part of me needs it too. But you cant be so hypervigilant every time we go outside."
Maggie opened her mouth to protest.
Alex tilted her head and put a hand to maggies lips. "Hypervigilence, hyperawareness, easily startled, constantly on edge…its not good for you. Its not healty. And its also some symptoms of PTSD." Alex said gently.
Maggie pursed her lips. "But…"
"But you weren't the one taken?" alex asked. "That doesn't mean it cant have an effect on you too." She brushed maggies hair behind her ear.
Maggie reached out and held alex hand still tangled in her hair. She stared into alex beautiful brown eyes. "Don't take this the wrong way, but how are you not doing so much worse than you are?"
Alex gave a short, wry laugh. "Well. I don't know. I think it helps to know that it wasn't my fault. Its his. And his actions speak to his character not mine. I refuse to spend my time on could have, would have, should haves when its HE who never should have. I refuse to feel guilt or shame or embarrassment or self loathing over what happened because I did nothing wrong. He did.
Maggie smiled adoringly. "Youre absolutely right."
"Something terrible happened to me. But that is not who I am. I decide who I am, not him."
Maggie leaned her forehead against alex. "You survived the abuse. You can survive anything. You can survive the healing."
Alex smiled and buried her head on maggies chest. Maggie wrapped her up in a warm hug. "Im not saying its easy, and im not saying it doesn't totally suck, but I am going to therapy. I am getting help. I am allowing myself to experience it, to grieve, to feel, to rage, to heal. And Maggie? You deserve to allow yourself to do the same as well."
Maggie swallowed thickly. She nodded and put a protective hand against alex, holding her close. "Youre right." Maggie gave alex a squeeze. "Youre right. But you might need to have the same talk with kara."
Alex sighed. "I know."
Alex may not have been on a downward, self destructive spiral after everything, but that didn't mean that kara wasn't. She immediately started hounding winn incessantly about the tracker. How could it so easily have been tampered with? Why wasn't it better?! Why did her comms go out? Her comms needed to be impervious! What if alex needed her?! She started harrying and harassing everyone about the monster whod taken alex. What do you mean you haven't found him yet?! How do you not even have any clues?!! How was she supposed to keep alex safe, keep him from hurting her again if they couldn't even find him?!?!
Kara also hadn't been able to put the suit back on yet. Even looking at it caused her to clench with intense aversion and fight the urge to gag. She'd buried it deep in her locker at the DEO and she couldn't even bring herself to be in the same room as it. The thought of touching it, putting it on…she couldn't.
But one thing she had been doing, was training. She trained harder than she ever had before. A part of kara told herself it was because she needed to be ready. She needed to be prepared for when he came back for alex again. the other part of her knew she did it because she couldn't stop. 'You. I want you…to suffer,' he had said. Alex was hurt because of her. Alex was tortured and nearly killed because of HER. HER!
Every time she closed her eyes she saw alex being tormented. Alex being backhanded, falling, crashing to the floor-kara ran. Alex struggling to defend herself, alex bleeding, alex being struck, beaten, kicked-kara sprinted ferverently. Alex listening to that monsters poison, being forced to play his games-kara ran until she couldn't breathe, until her lungs burned and her body hurt. Alex helpless in that monsters arms, his hands on her, violating her-kara flat out sprinted to the point of intense pain and then kept going.
A part of her relished the pain. It felt so much better as compared to everything else. A part of her couldn't understand how she could be in such emotional torment without any actual physical pain. Between the anguish she felt in her soul and the physical pain, kara much preferred the physical. That she could handle, that she could control, that she knew what to do with. But the agony she felt of her heart shredding seemed like more than she could take.
In addition to overtraining to the point of pain and beyond, kara wasn't eating. Everytime she went to eat, she saw alex broken, bleeding body and she was filled with an antipathy that robbed her of her will to eat. She was hungry, yes, but she couldn't bring herself to eat. And eventually that also became a source of exquisite pain, a pain she could control, she could dictate. She decided when it ended, how bad it got, and to what extent it was relieved.
When kara wasn't pushing herself past her physical limits or not eating, she wasn't sleeping. Every night she would close her eyes and see that monster standing over alex with the shock stick. She'd watch helplessly once again as he brought down against alex. Again and again and again. She clenched and jerked as alex writhed in pain to within an inch of her life. Finally, just before it felt like it would drive her mad, it drove her from her bed. She would fly to alex apartment. She would hover, listening to the steady beat of her sisters heart.
For some reason she could never bring herself to go in, even though she knew alex and Maggie would have welcomed her, would have wanted her to come in instead of lurking in the shadows for hours. But a part of her didn't want to go inside where it would be comforting, where alex would be there to hold her, forgive her. Again. A part of kara wanted the pain, a part of her felt like she deserved it. "I will see you soon," he said as he brushed his hand against alex cheek as she lay bleeding and unconscious.
So instead, kara kept obsessing. Over trackers and comms and ways to keep alex safe. She kept tormenting herself with the images of her sister being tormented. She savored the pain and the hunger she inflicted on herself. She continued to keep guard over her sister at night instead of sleep.
She kept doing these things because she didn't know what else do to, she didn't know how else to handle the anguish she was experiencing. Not that she needed help. Nooo. she was fine. She wasn't the one who was taken. Yeah, okay some of her behavior lately wasn't the most healthy, but it wasn't like she was cutting herself or anything. And not just because she couldn't. More because that would be a cry for help even she couldn't ignore.
So instead kara welcomed the darkness inside her. She drew it around herself like a comforting cloak. She kept punishing herself, kept creating physical agony to match her emotional distress, kept not eating and not sleeping. She kept silent, solitary watch over her sister and waited because she knew she could never, ever let anything happen to alex ever again.
Chapter 7
Summary:
alex response to what happened
I liked the idea of Kara being the one to fall down the rabbit hole of guilt/shame/angst/self-loathing that so many survivors become trapped in and to show another option (that even though alex is struggling, she doesnt become self destructive)
Chapter Text
Alex woke with a start and gasped. It took a moment for her to escape the tangles of sleep and realize where she was. Safe and in bed with Maggie reassuringly next to her. alex sank back into her pillow with a deep breath. She felt her heart racing and thought back to her dream, no her nightmare. It was about him, she knew, but the details were fuzzy. She couldn't remember what was happening in the dream but she knew the way it made her feel; trapped, terrified, helpless, violated.
Alex took another deep breath and let it out slowly. She stared at the ceiling trying to ground herself. She let herself feel the soft bed under her and the fluffy comforter covering her. She felt Maggie next to her, so strong and solid. She listened to the familiar sounds around her and felt herself calm.
She continued to breathe deeply and it helped to slow her frantic heart and chaotic emotions. Her therapist called it mindfullness, being aware of your own body to help ground yourself in the present. Alex gave a small smile. It sounded stupid but it worked.
Alex reached over and gently took maggies hand. She knew Maggie was awake, she always woke whenever alex did. Initially when the nightmares started Maggie would hold alex while she sobbed, reminding her she was safe, she was okay, she was loved.
But alex was able to extract herself from the nightmare easier now, able to recognize if for what it was, something that could no longer hurt her. So she talked with Maggie and explained that it was important to her that she be able to ground herself, talk herself down.
Maggie had smiled and cupped alex cheek. "Whatever you need." Alex warmed at the memory and rubbed her thumb gently against maggies. Of course, there were still times when alex woke screaming and needed Maggie. But overall things were getting better.
Alex thought about the swirl of intense emotions she would feel on a daily, hourly basis after it first happened. How it was almost as if she could still feel him, touching her. She would brush at her clothes and take the hottest showers trying to get the feel of him away.
Alex shuddered and nested her head against maggies shoulder. She had also had several moments where she had been convinced, with an absolute certainty, that she could feel his presence, that he was right behind her, waiting...watching. Shed spun around fists raised and heart racing, only to find nothing. It left her panting and confused. Other times she thought she caught sight of him out of the corner of her eye. Her body reacted instantly with a huge adrenaline rush flinging itself into fight or flight mode. But on second look it was never him.
Alex rolled onto her side and draped an arm across Maggie. Many times throughout alex life she buried her feelings under the guise of being strong or being the perfect daughter. But not with this. With this, alex knew she needed help and she knew she needed to allow herself to actually feel, no matter how terrifying and horrible that sounded. So alex had started therapy. And, it actually helped. Simply naming her fears seemed to diminish them somehow. Being able to talk about and talk through what she was feeling, what she was thinking, made it less. Less intimidating less constricting less scary.
Something else that alex did that helped was drive out to the dessert and run. She would run out in nature where she could be alone and not see anyone else. She could be alone with her thoughts. When she thought about what happened to her she could run and have a good reason for her heart to be beating so fast and her breath to be so ragged and it helped to bleed off some of the toxicity, the anxiety.
She would run and she would allow herself to feel. She would end up screaming and throwing rocks and collapsing with anguished sobs digging her hands into the sand. But she would feel so much calmer after and the next time those images came back to her they seemed less gripping, less intense and less painful. Who knew screaming could bring such serenity.
It had taken some time at work for things to feel somewhat normal again. At first everyone seemed hesitant to even look at alex, as if she might break at any moment. When people had talked to her it was with hesitant, hushed tones. It was incredibly grating and an unwelcome reminder of what happened when all she wanted to do was to forget and be able to work. It had gotten so bad that alex had slammed winn up against a wall in the control room and smacked him on the back of the head. It was a little better after that but everyone still treated her differently. Atleast for now, alex reminded herself.
Alex nodded to the agents milling about the pawn shop as she entered in the front door. She hadn't been with the initial team since jonn and she (reluctantly) had agreed that alex wouldn't be on any raids or carry a firearm until she got a clean bill of health from her psych eval. The only reason alex was on site today was because the building had already been cleared and because they found something questionable that she needed to secure to bring to the lab.
Alex spotted Vasquez among the others and went over to her. "What have we got Vasquez?"
Vasquez looked up and took in alex presence without missing a beat. She was one of the few people who hadn't treated her any differently after what happened and alex loved her for it. "Well, we are not exactly sure. But when we came for the ferengi pulse blasters, we also found this…" Vasquez pointed to several gem stones that appeared to be hovering over a work bench.
"Are they…?"
"Yep. Hovering."
"Right. Of course they are." Alex nodded and smiled. "Just another day, huh?"
Vasquez returned alex smile and raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, cause why should gravity be a thing?"
Alex snorted then looked back at the stones. She stepped closer to the work bench and frowned as the floor under her shifted slightly and groaned. She brought her weight forward and back again then bent down and ripped back the rug covering the floor. She looked triumphantly at Vasquez as she revealed the trap door in the floor.
Vasquez eyes widened in surprise.
"Lets see what weve got, shall we?" alex said excitedly.
Vasquez opened her mouth to protest, to have alex wait until it was cleared or atleast let her go first, but before she could say anything, alex wrenched open the door and clambered down the steps.
Alex descended the narrow stairs into the dark basement. In an instant the smell hit her. Stale air, dank concrete, rusted metal that smelled like blood. Alex body responded immediately. Her nostrils flared and she drew in a sharp breath. She felt every muscle in her body go rigid and she felt her pupils dilate in fear. She pressed herself up against the wall. It felt like her world was spinning. Vaguely she was aware of Vasquez there beside her, turning on the lights, calling her name, but alex couldn't hear her. A part of her saw the cluttered basement of the pawn shop, but another part could only see an abandoned warehouse filled with chains and pain and blood.
Vasquez took one look at alex and snapped for the other agents to remain above, no need for them to see her like this. Then she pulled out her radio and hailed kara. "Supergirl, we have a code phantom. Repeat code phantom."
Chapter 8
Summary:
alex reaction continued
Chapter Text
"Repeat. We have a code phantom."
But alex was oblivious to this. She pushed herself harder up against the wall and breathed harshly. Her ears were filled with terrible roaring and she felt numb like a part of her was separate, outside her own body. The part that remained felt like it was drowning in sick, toxic anxiety. She couldn't move, she couldn't breathe, she couldn't think. All she could do was feel stuck, helpless, frozen and terrified, trying to escape something that had already happened.
Alex pushed even further back into the wall as if by doing so she could push herself out of the memory, push herself back to keep it from happening. Alex shuddered and felt his presence before her. A part of her could see he wasn't there but another part only saw him sauntering, taunting, in front of her. Alex swallowed a sob and brushed the front of her shirt. She couldn't get the feel of him off of her! she slapped a hand against the side of her neck and rubbed it fervently. She felt him clinging to her… touching her. Alex shuddered and a harsh noise escaped her. She had to get him off! She scrabbled and tore at her chest. Get off! Finally she ripped off her track jacket and flung it onto the floor leaving her in only her tank top. She stood chest heaving, fists raised looking around wildly, desperately for the attack she knew was coming.
Kara stood motionless for a moment, shocked by the state alex was in. She approached slowly. "Alex." She called softly. Alex didn't respond. Kara didn't think alex could even hear her. A part of her heart tore to see alex so scared, almost wild with fear and suffering. Kara swallowed her alarm and sudden tears threateningly to spill down her face and slowly, calmly came closer to alex. "Alex." Kara tried again.
Alex still couldn't hear kara she was too lost in the memory, trapped in the horror. She couldn't breathe, she couldn't move, she couldn't think. It felt like her soul was shrieking as it shred apart at the seams.
Kara slowly moved closer and tried to put herself in alex line of vision. "Alex." She tried again, "Hey. Alex. Look at me. Alex."
Alex flinched and jerked back. It took several seconds before recognition slid behind her eyes. "Kara?" she looked around frantically.
"Its okay alex. Youre okay alex. Come on, lets go outside."
Alex looked to kara still wild eyed then around the basement once again before they returned to Kara.
"Come on alex." Kara said softly and ever so gently placed light hands on alex. Alex jumped but let kara guide her up the steps out the pawn shop into a sunlit alley away from the bustle of the street. "Youre okay now alex. Its okay."
Alex nodded numbly and felt herself crumble. She sobbed and collapsed onto her knees and wrapped her arms about herself. She clutched at her chest and rocked herself back and forth as ragged sobs shook her body. She gnashed her teeth and a raw keening escaped from deep within her.
Kara felt herself threaten to shatter at alex grief. She rushed forward and took alex in her arms. She held alex, rocked back and forth with alex until her cries slowed. Until alex finally expelled the toxic memory choking her and her breathing slowed.
Kara flew alex to her apartment and met Maggie there (Vasquez had called Maggie immediately after kara). Kara set alex down who was met by Maggie.
Alex weakly returned maggies embrace. She felt numb all over. The intense, searing, caustic adrenaline filled panic that had flooded her body, had finally faded and left alex feeling weak and totally spent. Alex allowed herself to be led to the bed where she collapsed, curling in on herself into the fetal position. She felt numb all over. It was like she had a giant gaping hole in her center and all she was left with was crushing sorrow and overwhelming grief. Alex hugged herself and stared blankly. She felt a weight settle over her soul. Tears leaked out of her eyes but alex didn't even have the energy to cry. It felt as if something had been ripped away from her, as if her soul had been ripped apart. All she could do was lay there and mourn something she didn't even understand.
Kara and Maggie exchanged very worried looks. "What happened?" Maggie whispered anxiously.
Kara shrugged. "I don't know. I got a call from Vasquez and found her in the basement of a pawn shop having an intense flashback. Something must have triggered her."
Maggie clenched her fists and tried to control her breathing. "What was she even doing there?! Shes not supposed to be out in the field yet!"
Kara gave another small shrug. "She was just supposed to be collecting something for the lab. But she found a trap door and you know her. She had to investigate…"
Maggie almost smiled. Of course alex would charge down the secret, hidden door like Indiana Jones. "Still, it should have been properly searched before she got there!"
"I know." Kara agreed sadly. She was staring at alex with that lost, far away look again.
Maggie narrowed her eyes and stepped closer to kara with a raised finger. "oh no," she told her firmly. "You stay here with me. Alex needs you." She took karas hand and led her over to alex on the bed. She knelt down in front of alex. "Hey sweetie. Do you want to be held right now?" alex didn't make any response or indication that she had heard Maggie. Maggie tried again. "Im going to hold you. You tell me if you don't want that or if that's not okay. Yes?" still nothing from alex so Maggie slowly, carefully slid herself behind alex.
Alex remained rigid for a moment before slowly relaxing into Maggie. Then she held her arms out to kara. Kara hesitated a moment, long enough for Maggie to frown, before carefully snuggling infront of alex.
Alex let out a ragged breath at how good it felt to be able to clutch onto the solid strength of her sister and be cradled by the steady warmth of her girlfriend. She felt herself shudder and a few more sobs escaped her. She felt her heart twist and wring itself with anguish. She held on tighter to kara and Maggie. She was shivering all over. But she knew she could survive it. She would survive it. She knew would allow herself to experience it and it would be awful, but that in doing so, it would lessen and pass.
It was several hours later before any of them stirred again. Alex had drifted into exhausted slumber almost immediately. Maggie had stayed awake for some time holding alex, listening to her steady breathing, reveling in her closeness. She tried to allow herself to feel some of the things she knew she needed to, the fear, the anger and injustice, the helplessness. Maggie had shifted closer and placed gentle kisses along alex shoulder. With alex safe in her arms she allowed herself to feel.
Kara lay facing alex. She stared into her sisters sleeping face, feeling alex cling tightly to her even then. She squeezed her eyes shut, burning with guilt. Alex was suffering so terribly because of her. A part of kara was desperate for alex loving touch, her comforting embrace. The other part of her squirmed even further with guilt. That part of her rejected her right to have alex hold her. She didn't deserve alex care or reassurance. She was the cause of alex pain, so she couldn't take any of alex affection. She just couldn't. Not right now. Not while alex was hurting so bad. Not while he was still out there. Waiting.
Finally, Alex slowly floated to the surface of sleep. She felt much calmer than she had in a long time. She felt Maggie and kara holding her, felt their warmth and reassuring breathing. She kept her eyes closed, content to just lay there and allow herself to be loved. She felt herself healing a little bit. The gaping hole from earlier felt like it now had a covering. Maybe it was still just a thin scab able to easily break off, but it was a start.
Alex lay for several more blissful minutes. She wished that time would stop and they could stay like that forever, nestled in a caccoon of safety and contentment. But eventually alex realized she needed to pee. She waited as long as she could because she was so loathe to move and break the magical spell. But eventually she sighed and opened her eyes. She gave a small smile to kara who was still awake and staring at her with an expression alex couldn't read.
"Hey," alex whispered.
Kara swallowed. "Hey."
Alex waited. She expected kara to reach out and touch her, brush her hair back, something. But kara didn't move. Nor did she say anything else. Alex eyebrows twitched in confusion. But she didn't dwell on it because she was reminded of her urgent need to visit the bathroom. She started to sit up slowly but Maggie clutched even tighter in response and mumbled something adorable in her sleep.
Alex smiled and laid back down. She held onto one of maggies arms and rubbed her fingers slowly on maggies other hand. "Maggie," alex tried. Maggie responded by pulling alex closer to her. Alex loved maggies reaction and would have been content to let her girlfriend snuggle her to death, if she hadn't had to pee so badly.
Alex shifted and rolled over slightly. She brushed maggies hair back from her sleeping face. She leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on Maggie forehead. "Maggie," she whispered. Maggie mumbled something and buried her head in alex chest.
Alex smiled even wider and suppressed a giggle. She lightly shook maggies shoulder. "Maggie."
Maggie drew in a deep breath and woke with a start. For a moment she looked panicked then her eyes landed on alex and she relaxed. "Hey alex," she smiled. Maggie reached out and cupped alex face. "How are you feeling?" she asked peering into alex eyes.
Alex gave a soft smile. "Better than before. But I really need to pee."
Maggie stayed how she was for a moment. Then she laughed and slowly sat up. Alex sat up as well, shared maggies smile then dashed to the bathroom.
Maggie turned to kara and felt the mirth on her face fade. Kara appeared, if possible even more anguished than previously. Shed left the bed and stood hugging herself staring at the floor. Before Maggie could say anything alex returned. She sat on the bed and took maggies hand in hers. She reached out for kara who stood frozen.
"Hey alex. You must be hungry do you want me to go and get something from that food truck you love. Or maybe some of those amazing chocolates?"
"Kara…" alex started.
"Im going to get you something." with that kara zoomed out the window. She returned moments later carrying a bag filled with delicious smelling food. When alex didn't move, she started again, "Or I will get you your favorite…." And zoomed away again. She did this several times piling more food and goodies in front of alex, until alex finally reached out and grabbed karas hand.
"Kara. Stop." alex commanded.
Kara stood, her hand hanging limply in alex. She refused to meet alex eye.
"Kara." Alex implored. "Look at me."
Kara sniffed and shook her head.
"Kara. Please!" alex voice broke.
Kara finally lifted her head and felt herself threaten to break. Her face twisted and she pressed her lips together to keep from crying.
"Oh sweetie." Alex whispered when she saw kara. She held her hand out again. kara leaned forward like she desperately wanted to throw herself into alex arms but her feet remained glued. She sniffed and shook but couldn't move.
Alex drew back hurt. "Kara?"
"I cant." Kara whispered, looking at the floor three feet away from alex. "I cant." She gasped. "Im the reason you feel like this. Im the reason this happened to you. Me." She finally brought her head up and the raw agony in karas eyes nearly stole alex breath. "Im toxic. Im dangerous. You need to stay away from me."
Alex face softened. "kara. Its not your fault."
Kara shook her head roughly. "Yes it is. This never would have happened if it weren't for me. For supergirl."
Alex shook her head and shifted closer to the edge of the bed. "No. kara. Its not your fault."
"Yes! Yes it is."
"No. its not your fault. Its his. He is the one who hurt me."
"Because of me-"
"Because he is sick and twisted."
Kara shook her head and held up her hands as if physically trying to ward of alex words. "Because he was right." kara whispered almost so softly that alex couldn't hear her. Alex tilted her head. Kara balled her fists and turned away. "He was right about it all."
"kara what are you talking about?" alex asked firmly.
Kara whipped around. "Hes right. I have been a terrible sister to you! I don't deserve this. I don't deserve you."
Alex sat stunned for a split second then her eyebrows narrowed. "Well too bad. Because youre mine. You are my sister and nothing is ever going to change that kara." Alex got to her feet. "And if that's the way you feel then we can talk about it, we can change it, we can fix it!" kara shook and tried to swallow the tears threatening to pour down her face. Alex walked towards kara. "But I don't deserve this." Alex reached out and placed a hand on karas stiff shoulder. "I don't deserve a sister who rejects and abandons me when I need her most."
Karas eyes widened. "No! that's not-"
"I don't care what-That's the way it feels." Alex tried to pull kara closer. "That's the way if feels and I refuse to let that happen. You are my sister. MY. SISTER. And im not going to let the bastard take anything else from me. Especially not you." Alex put her other hand on karas shoulder and pulled. "Do you understand me?"
Kara met alex gaze, still resisting alex pull.
"Do you. Understand. Me?"
Kara finally felt the struggle inside her collapse. She nodded. "Im sorry."
Alex drew kara into a crushing hug. "I know kara. I know."
Kara clutched onto alex and buried her head. "Im so sorry this happened to you. Im sorry for all the times I wasn't there for you. Im sorry I haven't been there for you now. im just sorry."
Alex held kara tighter and rocked slightly. "I know kara. Its okay. We are going to be okay. We are stronger than he will ever be."
Kara just sniffed and nodded her agreement. Maggie sighed in relief and smiled at the sight of kara and alex finally allowing themselves to heal each other. Maggie draped herself around alex and kara and held them close. She rested her head against theirs and together they breathed in hope and expelled their sorrows. They were going to be okay. Alex was right, they were stronger than that weak, pitiful monster could ever be, could ever even hope to be.
Finally alex broke the embrace with a laugh. Her stomach growled like it was a starving tiger. Kara wiped her eyes and smiled.
"Good thing kara provided us all with enough food to feed an army." Maggie grinned.
"Yes!" alex agreed enthusiastically going for the pile. "and after, she is going to go and get us that amazing icecream we all love, too."
Kara gave a short laugh. "Don't worry alex, you got it. I will get you ALL the icecream."
Alex smiled at kara, her face filled with love. For the first time since this happened kara was able to accept alex love. Kara nodded somewhat stiffly but gave a soft smile in return.
Maggie grabbed the chili cheese fries and dove onto the couch. "What are we watching?" she called over her shoulder.
Alex giggled and snagged herself a triple bacon extreme four cheese grilled cheese and landed next to her. "Whats it to be, kara?"
Kara zoomed over to the couch while trying not to spill the six foot party sub and plunked down next to alex and Maggie. "Well..."
Chapter 9
Summary:
He returns...
Chapter Text
Alex closed the front door and leaned against it with a sigh. She was glad to be home after such a taxing day. She rested there a moment before she opened her eyes and pushed herself off. She took two steps before she froze, every sense on high alert. On the floor in front of her, where someone apparently slid it under her door, was a photo.
Alex took out her gun and quickly scanned the apartment. She carefully stepped around the photo and went methodically room to room ensuring no one was inside. When she was satisfied no intruder was present she holstered her gun and went back to the photo on the floor by the front door. She eyed it as she walked closer and slowly bent down to examine it. She felt a shiver run up her spine. It was a photo. Of her. Of her sipping her coffee as she came out of noonans on her way to work. It was an average, mundane, run of the mill thing to photograph, yet looking at it on her apartment floor made alex skin crawl.
Alex stood back up quickly. She went to the kitchen and felt her dread double as she found another photo placed on the island. Alex and Maggie walking in the park. Alex had linked her arm with Maggie and Maggie had surprised her by resting her head on alex shoulder.
Alex felt her breath quicken and she quickly scanned the rest of the kitchen then went to the bathroom. Two photos awaited her. One of Maggie, smiling a wide, beautiful, dimpled smile at someone off camera. And alex, the said person off camera, scrunching up her face and sticking out her tongue in a goofy way to make Maggie laugh after a bad day at work.
Alex felt herself draw back as if burned. He was back! And he was following them. He had to be. Alex tried to take a calming breath but her attention was drawn to the fact that he had placed maggies photo above maggies toothbrush and the photo of herself above her own toothbrush. How did he know that?!!
Alex breathing was ragged as she forced her panic in check to continue searching her apartment. She went to her bed, slowly, fearing what she would find. There was nothing on the comforter so alex ripped back the blankets. She felt herself momentarily weak. There were two more photos waiting. One of alex staring at Maggie while she slept, her hand in maggies hair. The other was of Maggie partly on top of alex, leaning down to kiss her. They were each placed on their respective sides just like with the toothbrushes.
Alex sat back. She felt a sick numbness spread from the pit of her stomach. Her heart race and her breath come too quickly and her head felt funny like it was underwater. She pulled out her phone and called Maggie and kara.
"I need you. My apartment. Now."
She kept her hand on her gun and numbly but determinedly searched the rest of the apartment. When she was satisfied there were no more photos she sat calmly on the couch to await the others.
Kara arrived first and shot through the open window. Alex spun, gun ready but sat almost immediately when she saw it was kara.
"Alex what is it?"
Before alex could explain the front door burst open. Again alex shot to her feet gun in hand but sat once more when Maggie strode in.
"Alex, kara. What is it?"
Alex couldn't seem to form words. So she simply pointed at the photo a few feet from Maggie.
Kara zoomed over as Maggie knelt down for a better look.
"Oh my Rao, alex" kara uttered.
"No. don't touch it." Maggie instructed, grabbing karas hand as she had reached for the photo. "There might be trace evidence on it."
"Right." kara agreed somewhat sheepishly. She looked up at alex pale, strangely blank face. "Did you see who put this here?"
Alex shook her head. "More."
Maggie tilted her head. "What?"
Alex pointed over her shoulder. "Theres more."
Maggie and kara shared a sharp glance. They quickly rose to their feet and found the other photos carefully placed throughout the apartment.
Alex remained on the couch. she felt somewhat detached and knew she was probably in shock. But a part of her needed to compress everything she was feeling into a little box, and put that box a way for now. She needed to evaluate exactly what was happening and what to do next. She had to focus on the task at hand. Because he was coming and she needed to be ready. She couldn't afford to fall apart right now. She remained still even as kara and maggies gasps and growls of outrage intensified.
Finally kara and Maggie stood in front of alex once more. They were clearly spooked and upset. "We need to get you to the DEO." Maggie snapped.
"No," alex stated still feeling detached. "We need to get the DEO here to analyze those photos."
Kara interjected, "Alex. Maggie is right. Hes been here. Hes been INSIDE your apartment."
Alex continued unperturbed. "And they need to inspect for hidden survailence tech." Karas mouth snapped shut. Alex looked from kara to Maggie. "Those pictures he left on the bed. They were taken from inside the apartment."
Kara gasped and brought a hand to her mouth. But maggies pale face told alex she had realized this as well. She hadn't said anything because she didn't want to upset alex.
"Alex. We need to get you out of here," kara tried again.
Alex turned to kara. "How do we know its me hes after?"
Kara spluttered. "Because he…you…before…"
"He wanted to hurt you. Maybe hes after you, kara?"
Kara looked at a loss for words. Maggie jumped in instead. "Alex. He was here. At YOUR apartment. Leaving YOU pictures. Of you...and…and me. None of kara. This was meant for you. To upset you."
Alex grit her teeth. "Yeah, well. Its working."
"That's why we need to get you out." Kara reminded her.
"No. I need to stay and make sure the job gets done."
Maggie sat next to alex and took a hold of her stiff hands. "Alex. Hey." She waited for alex to meet her eyes. "Its okay. Its okay to let go."
Alex shook her head. "I cant. I will shatter." Maggie tilted her head, her face full of concern. Alex continued, "I cant let go because he is still out there. I have to be ready, and I cant if im falling apart."
Maggie nodded slowly and rubbed her thumb against alex hands. "For now. okay. But alex, we are not going to make this easy for him. If you don't want to go to the DEO then we go to karas."
"Maggie…"
Maggie gave alex a pointed look. "The DEO? Or karas?"
Alex let out a deep breath. "Fine. We go to karas."
They called in the situation to jonn who quickly showed up with several agents to begin canvassing alex apartment. Jonn narrowed his eyes at alex mental state then surveyed kara and Maggie. A part of him wanted to tell them to do everything they could to keep alex safe. But he knew he didn't need to say it, because they would. They seemed to understand, without him saying anything, the fear and worry and love in his eyes and nodded solemnly.
Jonn turned back to alex. "We need to be smart about this alex. If youre not at the DEO then you are with kara." Alex opened her mouth to protest but jonn cut her off. "Do I make myself clear?" He waited with a firm, unblinking stare.
Alex finally looked away with a sigh. "Fine." She agreed reluctantly.
"Now go. We've got it from here.
Alex opened her mouth to protest but jonn, kara and Maggie stopped her with expressions that made it very clear leaving was not optional and protesting would do little good.
When they arrived at karas no one felt particularly talkative. They changed into comfy clothes then milled about awkwardly, not really sure what to do. None of them felt like they could relax, but there was nothing for them to actually do.
Finally Maggie gave a disgusted sigh. "You guys, this is stupid." Kara and alex looked at her startled. Maggie smiled. "This plan sucks. Waiting sucks. But who says we cant eat?"
Kara snorted. "You know im always down for food."
"Good. Because the first rule of stakeouts is, there must be food." Maggie informed them.
Kara laughed. "And by food, do you mean doughnuts?"
Maggie looked to alex with mock surprise. "Did she? Did she just make a cop joke?"
Alex gave a soft smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.
Maggie eyed alex with concern but continued her light banter with kara as she prepared supper. They ate mostly in silence, every fiber on alert for what might come. Kara and Maggie cleaned up while alex took a shower. Alex stood under the water letting it beat down on her, wishing the hot water could wash away all the fear and awfulness she was currently trying not to feel.
In the end, alex had gone to bed early. She ignored Maggie and kara talking quietly together. She ignored how they would glance unconsciously at her every now and then like they were afraid she was going to disappear. She rolled onto her side and stared at the wall. She felt almost dead inside.
Some time later, alex wasn't sure how long shed been staring at the wall, Maggie sat on the bed. "Is it okay-" Maggie started to ask. But alex stopped her by reaching out for Maggie. Maggie sank gratefully into alex.
Alex squeezed Maggie tighter. She may not know what was happening and she may feel completely detached. But she was not letting him take Maggie from her. She refused to let that happen.
Kara smiled as she eyed them on the bed. Then she went back to her pacing, waiting, watching. She and Maggie had already agreed to take turns staying up while hopefully alex was able to get some sleep. They all knew it was going to be a long night.
Chapter 10
Summary:
waiting is the worst part...right?
Chapter Text
Nothing happened that night. Or the following. Or the one after that. By th fifth day alex was fed up. There had been nothing more since the photographs. Nothing, except unfettered anxiety and constant worry for alex and everyone around her. The stress was starting to wear on all of them, even kara. Her chirpy smile was not nearly so quick and her eyes were clouded with suspicion rather than their usual friendship. Maggie slammed back coffee as if it were oxygen and alex couldn't help but snap at everyone and startle at everything.
Finally that night at supper alex slammed her palms against the table. She growled in frustration. "This is ridiculous!" Maggie and kara whipped their heads towards alex in surprise. "I cant live like this. WE cant live like this."
Maggie and kara stared at alex a moment then shared a brief glance.
"Alex," kara started.
Alex pushed herself up from the table and started to pace. "No im serious. This cant go on. It's driving me crazy and its killing the two of you." Maggie and kara looked like they were about to protest. "You cant stay up all night for nights on end and not have it get to you."
Karas lips pressed together and Maggie looked away. A part of her knew alex was right, but she didn't know what else to do.
Kara tried again. "Alex, please. We need to give the lab time to analyze the data from the photos-"
"There isn't any. Hes too good for that."
"And the survailance tech." kara continued pointedly. "Jonn and everyone at the entire DEO is looking for this guy. He cant stay hidden forever. And when we find him…" kara trailed off but a dark gleam entered her eyes.
Maggie observed kara and everything she left unsaid. Maggie had some thoughts of her own as to that department as well. And they were not quick or nice. She turned to alex. Her heart pinched at seeing alex so upset, so vulnerable. She hated how this monster made alex feel so helpless and so terrified, with waiting for him to come for her again, the only thing she could do. "Please, alex." She whispered. "Just a little more time. Please?"
Alex looked like she wanted to refuse. But then her face clouded and she nodded. She pressed her lips together and swallowed. "I just…" Her voice broke and her chin trembled. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to stop from crying. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I don't know how much more of this I can take."
Karas face softened and Maggie smiled. They came and covered alex in a warm embrace. "We know sweetie. We know" Maggie whispered into her ear.
Later that night, alex held onto a sleeping Maggie. She lay on her side with Maggie nestled into her like the little spoon and alex ran a finger softly through maggies hair. She looked at Maggie and tried not to think, she just wanted to savor this moment.
When she looked up again she caught karas eye. Kara smiled. "You should be sleeping." kara informed her.
Alex raised an eyebrow. "You know, you two mighty warriors could put me in the watch rotation as well. I am a trained professional after all."
Karas expression softed. "We know that alex. And we're not saying any different. Its just…"
"Just you…don't think I can protect myself?"
"No alex. That's not it. Its not you. Its not you at all. I know how capable, how amazing, how badass you are." Kara flashed her a pained expression. "Its not you. Its me. My greatest fear is waking up and finding you gone. Not being able to reach you in time. Failing you when you need me most." Karas throat closed sharply.
Alex shook her head. "Kara. You could never fail me. That's impossible because I know who you are and I know how good your soul is. But kara, you cant stay up forever."
Kara shook her head. "I will stay up as long as I need to. And Maggie feels the exact same way."
Alex frowned and ran her hands through maggies hair again.
Kara continued. "I cant sleep anyways. Even when im not on watch. Maggie too. She only sleeps when she can feel you, know that you are safe."
Alex felt her eyes well up with tears. "im sorry. Because of me, he-"
"No," kara cut her off. She hurried to the bed and sat in front of Maggie where there was room. "No. Don't even say it. Don't even think it. This is not your fault!"
"But"
Kara laid down propped up on one elbow and reached across Maggie for alex hand. "You don't get to carry whats not yours. And the blame for this is not yours. Its his. Us choosing to be here with you, is not yours. Its ours and we wouldn't have it any other way.
Alex swallowed thickly and nodded. She squeezed karas hand. "Stay. Just a little bit? I want to feel you both safe by me."
Kara smiled and nodded. She held onto alex hand as her sister slowly relaxed. She brushed her thumb against alex as she fell asleep and made silent promises to always keep her safe.
Alex jolted awake as something hard landed on her. She tried to sit up or leap out of bed but she was trapped under a large net. A glowing green net. Made of kryptonite. She heard kara hiss in pain as she struggled to free herself. Alex looked to the foot of the bed and nearly passed out. It was him. Standing there. Watching her.
Alex froze, her mind fled, and panic roared through her searing away her ability to react. He smiled down at her and alex thought she might go crazy from the fear she felt twisting inside her, gutting her, choking her, poisoning her.
Maggie reacted instinctively. The instant she was thrust awake she whipped her hand out from under her pillow. Her hand held her gun. She fired without hesitation, center mass. She was going to put that fucker down. But her gun ripped from her grasp before she could pull the trigger. "No" Maggie shouted. Then she watched in horror as the monster at the foot of the bed raised his own gun and pointed it at her.
He chuckled. "Maggie Maggie Maggie. I wasn't expecting that." He said it as if it were a compliment. "I should have remembered theres a reason alex loves you." At alex name maggie reached out protectively for her girlfriend.
The sight of him pointing a gun at maggie managed to snap alex out of her frozen state. "NO!" She tried to throw herself over Maggie but couldn't move. all she could do was try to hold Maggie tighter against her. "No no no no. please no."
The man smiled. "Don't worry alex. Shes not going anywhere. And neither are you." With that he fired quickly at Maggie then alex and all she saw was black.
Chapter 11
Summary:
They wake up
Note: there is nonconsensual touching and a whole heck of a lot of angst! The next two chapters are going to be intense, but it will be okay in the end!
Chapter Text
Alex felt as if she weighed a thousand pounds, as if gravity had been increased by a factor of ten and was sucking her down to the very center of the earth. She clenched and forced herself up, pushing determinedly, desperately towards consciousness.
She gasped and tried to sit up again. the net was gone and so was kara. But she couldn't seem to move or even hold her head up. Alex toppled over and landed drunkenly on top of Maggie. She put one arm around Maggie and tried to sit up again but found the world was spinning too much. Her head landed on maggies shoulder. She watched, her drugged mind struggling to comprehend, as the man slid something heavy and green away from the bed. Alex blinked several times. No! Not something. Someone! Kara, still trapped in the kryptonite net.
The man grunted and dropped the net. Then he staked down the edges effectively caging kara, who moaned faintly.
"Kara," alex managed weakly. She stretched out a hand that wobbled dangerously before it fell back onto Maggie.
The man whipped his head towards alex. He shook his head and smiled. "Yet again, alex. I see I will never stop being amazed by how incredible you are." He came forward towards the bed.
"No," alex gasped. She tried to shimmy further away from him without letting go of Maggie. "No."
He kept smiling. "Oh yes." He'd reached the foot of the bed and walked around to the side kara had been on. He leaned over and grabbed maggies unconscious form.
"NO!" alex yelled. A surge of adrenaline helped slightly to push back the effects of the overwhelming drug. Alex managed to cling even tighter to Maggie and hold her fast against his tug.
He gave alex a disapproving look. "She wont go anywhere. I promise." Alex shook her head and didn't respond. There was no way she was going to-
Alex crumpled as a second dart hit her. He stood for a long moment gazing down at alex. She was still tangled together with Maggie but now her body was completely slack. He carefully brushed the hair away from alex face. Lightly, he stroked her face with his fingers. Then he rolled alex away from Maggie, carefully scooped alex up and set her gently on the floor.
Kara let out a desperate breath when he placed alex on the floor unharmed. Alex lay facing kara about five feet away. Kara rolled and tried to get closer to the limp body of her sister but she couldn't move. she hissed in pain as the kryptonite bore down into her flesh.
Kara twisted frantically but it was useless; the net sapped her of all strength and cut agonizingly into her. All kara could do was gasp desperately as he went to Maggie. As he placed her on her back and chained her arms above her head. As he grabbed her ankles and chained down her feet. Kara ground her teeth in frustration. She knew he was just getting started and she was horrified at what he might have planned.
He went back to alex and stared once more.
"Leave her alone!" kara spat as he reached out to touch her again.
His eyes flashed to karas. He gave her a condescending look before he withdrew his hand, grabbed something from his belt then placed it on alex sternum. Alex stiffened momentarily as he withdrew his hand. He gave kara a wink.
Kara looked between him and alex. What had he done? What was he going to do? She knew better than to ask him, he would just toy with her. Instead she tried to control her ragged breathing and ignore the fact that the kryptonite made it feel like she was bleeding out all over the floor.
He went over to Maggie and stood staring down at her moment. Then he slid into bed next to her with his head resting on a propped elbow so he could continue gazing at the unconscious, chained Maggie.
He cautiously reached out and stroked her cheek with the back of his hand. After several long minutes he settled down onto his side and rested his head on maggies chest and lay a hand on her stomach, just like a lover would. Like alex would. Kara shuddered at the sight and ground her teeth even harder.
Maggie woke with a start. She sucked in a sharp breath. She looked down at the weight on her chest and recoiled. She tried to roll away but couldn't. For a moment Maggie thought she might lose herself in the panic of realizing she was trapped, chained to the bed with the monster resting his head on her chest.
Maggie looked around frantically for kara and alex. She spotted kara still captured in the net, writhing in pain. And alex. Alex on the floor unmoving. "Alex!" Maggie called out desperately. When alex didn't even twitch Maggie whipped her head to the man now gazing casually down at her with his head propped on his elbow. She couldn't help but recoil from him again. "What have you done to her!?"
The man smiled. "Don't worry Maggie. She will be alright." He chuckled and rested his hand on her stomach. "She just woke sooner than expected so I had to give her a second dose."
Maggie flinched away from his hand but couldn't escape it. She grit her jaw and struggled with the chains. They were fastened securely with no give and clamped tightly around her wrists and ankles. She yanked and heaved on them anyways but they didn't so much as budge.
He continued unperturbed. "As I told alex before. At first, I never really understood what she saw in you. I mean, no offense but it was a rather dramatic, life changing move. But now I get it." He started to trail his finger along maggies stomach in a sick caress. Maggie shivered in revulsion. "Not only are you beautiful. But you are also just as strong and capable as alex." He brought his head down next to hers as if they were sharing a secret, and stared into her beautiful brown eyes.
Maggie shook her head and couldn't help but look away. She didn't want to have to listen to him. "Shut up."
"Shhh. Its okay Maggie." He reached over and ran his fingers through her hair. Maggie jerked her head away roughly. He stroked her hair again. Then he held a strand and rubbed it between his fingers marveling at its soft sheen and brought it to his nose before he breathed in deeply. "Mmmm" he sighed appreciatively.
Maggie gagged and turned her head even further away from the monster laying next to her. He softly stroked her hair again for several minutes. Maggie felt her stomach clench and her repulsion grow with each touch. Every stroke ignited a pressure within her chest, like a geyser about to blow, and she didn't know how much more of this she could take.
He murmured into her ear. "I can see why alex loves to do this so much."
Maggie made a strangled noise in the base of her throat.
"The number of nights she falls asleep with a hand in your hair…" he continued to play with maggies luscious locks.
"Stop." Maggie choked. "Stop it."
He continued for a moment longer before replying, "Whatever you say Maggie." He dropped his hand quickly then turned onto his side and returned his head to maggies chest and hand to her stomach. Maggies breath hitched as if his touch burned. He rested there on Maggie as he gazed at the unconscious alex and struggling kara on the floor.
Maggie shuddered and swallowed a heave. "Why are you doing this? What do you want?" she gasped out. She wanted him OFF her. But at the same time, the thought of what he might do instead terrified her even more. She would prefer him next to her versus him next to an unconscious alex.
He chuckled. "Right now I want alex to wake up."
"No." Maggie felt her throat close in panic.
Alex woke with a sharp breath. This time she could feel her body, but that wasn't the thing stopping her from moving. Alex clenched her jaw and tried to move, but hard as she tried, she couldn't. It was like there was this strange energy running through her, almost like a tazer on low settings. Her muscles were already contracted, locking her in place. Even breathing deeply was difficult. Not that alex was. No. She drew in short, desperate breaths. The only thing she could move was her head.
She looked and saw kara on the floor only five feet from her. She tried, tried with everything she had to move. But she couldn't.
Kara saw alex wake and tried to get towards her. Kara desperately dug her hands into the carpet and tried to crawl forward but the net drained her of her power, her vitality and burned into her like a hot anvil. She gasped and clenched her teeth and tried harder. She stretched as far as she could reaching for alex. But doing so only exposed more flesh to the searing net. Kara held her breath and ignored the tears forming and the pain wracking her body. She had to get to her sister.
Alex shook her head at kara. NO, she mouthed. She couldn't take seeing kara in so much pain, trying so desperately to reach her. Kara paused her futile struggle with a tortured expression and alex looked around for Maggie.
"Get off of her," she exclaimed before she could stop herself. The sight of him. Laying with his head on maggies chest, his hand on her possessively... Alex growled deep in her chest.
He stood up casually and with an easy smile. "Don't worry alex. Im not going to hurt her."
Alex clenched her teeth together so hard it hurt. She watched with a new wash of terror as he sauntered closer to her.
"I was just sharing with Maggie that I can see now why you like her so much."
"No. You don't get to say her name." Alex informed him harshly.
He frowned down at her. "Alex." He said disapprovingly.
"What do you want?" alex cut him off before he could say anything. Before he could start spewing his poison.
He smiled down at her sickeningly. Alex bared her teeth unconsciously and glared. This couldn't be happening. Not again. How could this be happening again?! He knelt beside her and went to brush back her hair.
Alex lunged forward and tried to bite him. Then she smothered a scream as her entire body shot ramrod straight and jolts of excruciating energy coursed through her. Alex flashed to the last time he had her captive and used the shock stick until shed lost consciousness. Until shed nearly died. She couldn't breathe and for a moment she thought it was because her ribs were broken again.
Then the energy lessened to the low setting it had been before. Alex gasped in a desperate breath. She still couldn't move but atleast the pain was gone. Dimly she realized Maggie was shouting from the bed. But for the moment all alex could do was meet karas anguished eyes as she laid across from her and try to breathe.
"You don't have to do this," Maggie reasoned from the bed. "You don't have to do any of this. You could just let us go, just walk away."
He gave Maggie a half smile. "Come on Maggie. Im not some common perp you can reason with. You know that. I mean you know I collected months of data before visiting alex the first time. And its been several more months. Do you really think im just going to walk away?"
"You mean stalking? When you stalked her. And me. For months?" Maggie spat at him.
He shrugged non-committally.
"Nice job with the pictures too. Spying into girls apartments now are we? See, that does sound like a lot of common perps I know." Maggie taunted.
"Oh Maggie," he said patronizingly. He shook his head then smiled. "I have to say though. I have enjoyed all the 'you almost died im so glad youre still alive' sex.
Maggie flinched then growled. "You sick fuck"
He just winked and turned back to alex who could finally breathe. "Now lets not have anymore of that, alex. Unless you want to force kara and Maggie watch you suffer, needlessly.
Alex tried to force herself up but still couldn't move. "Really? Because last time that's what you wanted wasn't it? To hurt me? And to hurt kara by forcing her to watch as you tortured me!"
He looked pensive a moment. "True," he conceded. He walked closer to kara. "I was upset. I had nothing. Kara took from me the only things that ever mattered."
"What are you talking about?" alex asked from the floor.
He stood over kara. The green glow reflected off his face giving him an even more garish appearance. Kara looked up at him genuinely confused through a haze of pain. "What am I talking about?" He glanced briefly at alex.
Then he stomped down with a crunch on karas hand still stretched out towards alex. Kara screamed and cradled her smashed hand to her chest. "Im talking about the death of my entire family, my wife, my child, because of her! Because of supergirl." His eyes filled with new hatred.
Alex gasped in horror and tried to keep his attention on her and not her sister. "Supergirl saves people! She doesn't kill."
He turned back to alex with a low growl. "You don't know what you are talking about," he snapped. "Supergirl was so intent on defeating her enemies, she didn't care who got hurt in the process. Chasing them all over town, smashing into buildings…letting those building parts fall where ever they may. Right ontop of my family."
Alex saw the genuine pain on his face and meant it when she said, "Im sorry."
He shook his head at her. "No. Youre not the one who should be apologizing." He kicked savagely at the defenssless kara
.
Kara groaned and curled further onto her side. "Im sorry," she gasped. "Im so sorry. I never meant-"
"Shut up!" he screamed. "I don't want to hear it."
"Then what do you want?" alex asked before he could hurt kara further.
He looked back to alex and took a calming breath. He continued talking to alex as if hed never stopped. "It had kara pinned. For all her strength and recklessness, it had her all but defeated. Then you swooped in. You tranqed it with special serum you had created and it went down." He snapped his fingers. "Just like that."
Alex opened her mouth to protest, but he kept talking.
"You were always there to clean up her mess. And how did she repay you?"
Alex refused to answer. Shed already played this game and was sick of it.
He eyed kara thoughtfully. "Although I see that she hasn't been supergirl since our last chat. So maybe she does love you more after all."
"Fuck you" alex spat out.
He gave a slow smile and raised an eyebrow. Alex eyes widened and her nostrils flared at the realization that he probably would.
"That still doesn't explain what you are doing here right now." Maggie pointed out quickly from the bed, drawing attention to herself before he could follow up on alex comment.
He smiled at Maggie and slowly went to the bed. He sat casually next to Maggie with his back against the head board and his feet resting on the bed. He looked down at her and then over to alex and kara splaid helplessly on the floor. "Well, dear Maggie. Through my time watching kara and her destructive hero complex, I realized more and more just how special alex was." He glanced down at Maggie and winked. "Im sure you can relate to that sentiment. Anyways, my plan for revenge against kara brought me even closer to alex. Helped me to realize just how extraordinary she is."
He looked at Maggie again. "And you too." He stroked her hair again as Maggie flinched away from his touch. He brushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "You have been so amazing, helping my alex after such a terrible incident."
Maggies eyes flashed at his words. "She is. Not. Yours!" Maggie hissed. "And the only reason she needed help was because of YOU. Because of what you did to her!" She stared at him levelly, unblinking, filled with rage.
"Especially because her so called sister was too busy wallowing to be much help." He continued unperturbed as if he hadn't heard maggies response. He stroked her hair one last time before he gave a sigh and hefted himself to his feet. He went to alex.
Alex watched from the floor, helpless, unable to move as he slowly came towards her. She could do nothing as he knelt down, took her hand in his and brought it to his lips. He reached under alex armpits and heaved her to her feet. Alex remained rigid, frozen where ever he placed her.
Alex shuddered and looked away. Her stomach twisted sickeningly. She hated being this close to him, she hated him touching her and she hated being completely powerless to stop it.
He stood inches away from her, staring into alex eyes. alex shuddered. She couldn't move. she couldn't do anything except breathe the same air as the monster in front of her.
Chapter 12
Summary:
It ends...
Note: more nonconsensual touching. Things get even more dark and twisted (sorry not sorry)
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
He reached out slowly and tucked a strand of hair behind alex ear. Alex turned her head away. She refused to look at him, to play his games. He frowned and tsked at her.
Suddenly alex felt the charge coursing throughout her body increase. It zinged through her and stung but more frighteningly, alex could no longer move her head. She gasped in alarm then realized she could also barely breathe.
He gave a satisfied chuckle and grabbed alex by the chin. He forced her head to turn so she was looking at him. "That's better," he cooed. He stepped even closer, one hand still holding alex chin. He pressed his body against alex. His free hand rested on alex butt. He pulled her closer, pressing his pelvis against hers.
Alex gagged and tried to squeeze her eyes shut. A part of her mind was screaming. She couldn't take the feel of him pressed up against her.
He let go of alex butt and brought both hands up to cup her face. Alex flicked her eyes wildly and barely breathed in frantic pants. He brought his face closer to hers and slowly pressed a kiss against her lips. Alex couldn't fight, couldn't turn away, couldn't do anything to stop him.
He brushed her hair back behind her ears and stroked her cheeks with his thumbs. He rested his forehead against alex and breathed in deeply. Alex felt her skin crawl. Things were turning slightly black around the edges, from fear or lack of oxygen she wasn't sure. He pressed his thumbs against her jaw and forced her lips open.
"No," kara pleaded weakly from the floor. "Please don't."
He ignored kara and leaned forward and forced his lips on alex again. This time with her mouth parted she couldn't stop his tongue from entering. Alex gagged. He pressed his mouth hard against her and his tongue danced around hers. Alex felt a scream building from deep inside. He pressed his body against hers once more and thrust his tongue as far as it would go. Alex gagged and shivered with revulsion and her vision became even darker. She welcomed it. Anything to escape.
"Stop!" kara pleaded from the floor. "Stop this. She cant breathe!" he ignored her so kara tried again. "Shes not breathing. If you don't stop you will kill her!"
Maggie couldn't believe what was happening. She yanked on the chains binding her desperately. The metal cut into her flesh but Maggie didn't care. All she cared about was getting free. Getting that mother fucker forcing himself on alex, away from her! Her stomach roiled and she felt sick at the sight of alex trapped helpless, powerless to stop the violation. Maggie jerked harder on the chains.
Slowly he stepped back and reduced the charge again. alex sucked in a huge breath then several more. She repressed a sob and looked at kara and Maggie. Kara looked at her through a haze of pain with agonized eyes. There were streaks on her face from her tears. Maggie had bit her lip so hard it bled. She looked at alex with fear and barely contained rage.
He noticed alex gaze and also turned to view Maggie and kara. He stepped behind alex, wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder. Alex shuddered at the familiarity of the motion. Its something that Maggie frequently did. But instead of being comforting and reassuring, this was awful and wrong and further violation.
"Stop," she said through clenched teeth. "Stop. Let go of me."
"Shhhh." But he did let go. He came to alex side and gazed at her. Alex looked away. He smiled unperturbed and slowly tucked the hair behind alex ear once again. Then he leaned forward and placed a soft kiss directly below alex ear. Alex swallowed a choked noise. He kissed her again gently, this time a little lower. He placed light kisses unhurriedly down alex neck to her collar bone.
Maggie suppressed a sob. Watching that monster and what he was doing to alex was almost more than she could take. Maggie twisted and pulled her hands, desperate to escape. They were attached too securely to pull lose and she had nothing to pick the lock with.
Alex gave a dry heave. "Stop," she whispered.
"But you like it when you are kissed like this."
"No." Alex jerked her head
"No? I have hours of surveillance that says otherwise."
"No! You sick pervert."
"Mmm." He slid back behind alex and smelled her hair. "Good thing I know other things that you like." He murmured in her ear. He brought alex hips back into his and rested a chin on her shoulder again. he wrapped one arm around alex stomach. The other he let trail slowly, lower and lower. Alex squeezed her eyes shut and looked away. This couldn't be happening! She sucked in shallow breaths and tried not to hyperventilate.
Maggie had never felt so helpless, so useless in all her life. All she could do was lay there and watch as that monster violated alex, invaded her personal space, taunted her with intimate details from their lives together. As he mimicked her own motions, her own actions of things she did to alex…Maggie swallowed bile. She strained against the chain. She would break free even if it meant scrapping all the skin off her hands and breaking all her fingers. But first she needed a way to stop this!
"What would your wife say?" maggies voice drew their attention. "What would your kid say?"
He stopped and lifted his chin. "Well dear Maggie. Because of kara, I guess we will never know."
"Do you think this is what she would have wanted? Do you think this would make her proud?"
He frowned. He stepped away from alex but kept one hand possessively on her waist. "Stop talking. Or you will simply make me want to kill kara again."
"So that a no then, isn't it? You know that im right."
He suddenly let go of alex and turned a small dial on his left wrist that Maggie hadn't noticed before. Alex drew in a breath as immense pain crashed down on her. Then she couldn't breathe at all. A low whine escaped her and her eyes rolled back in her head.
"Stop!" Maggie begged. "Please. Stop!" He came a little closer to her. "Please stop hurting her. Please!"
He smiled. He liked the sound of Maggie begging. "Tell me youre sorry."
Maggie didn't hesitate. "Im sorry. Please. Im sorry. Just don't hurt her anymore. Please." She was wide eyed and her heart was beating out of her chest, which was heaving due to her frantic breathing.
He slowly nodded his head and turned back to alex who suddenly sobbed and dropped her head to her chest. If she had been able she would have collapsed on the floor in a limp pile.
"Alex!" Maggie shouted. "Alex are you okay? Im so sorry."
Alex lifted her head at maggies voice but recoiled when she saw him standing in front of her, blocking her view of Maggie.
He placed a hand on her waist and brushed back a strand of lose hair. Alex turned her head away from him as if his touch burned. He placed a kiss on her jaw, then the base of her throat. He languidly kissed his way down her throat to where it met her collar bone. There he suckled hard enough to leave a hickey before nipping lightly.
Alex throat burned with bile and she squeezed away the tears in her eyes. She shuddered as he made his way up the other side of her throat.
"I know you especially love it when maggie…" He captured her earlobe in his mouth. He sucked on it gently and swirled his tongue. Alex clenched her jaw tighter and tighter to keep her soul from cracking. He drug his teeth lightly then let it go with a pop. Alex drew in a ragged breath.
"Stop!" Maggie gave a strangled shout. "Just stop! please." A part of her was surprised when he actually did.
He wrapped himself around alex and stood behind her with his head once more on her shoulder. He survailed Maggie almost like he was waiting for her to continue.
"Please stop this. You could just walk away. Walk away right now. No one has to get hurt." Maggie pleaded passionately.
He smiled. "Who said anything about anyone getting hurt?"
"Please. Just let her go…" maggies face twisted in agony. To her further surprise, he did. He stepped away from alex and slowly came to sit next to Maggie on the bed with his legs resting on top of hers.
Alex looked frantically between kara still struggling breathlessly, tremulously on the floor, Maggie chained to the bed and the monster sitting all too close to her.
"Ask me nice. Ask me like you mean it." He purred and rested a hand on her stomach.
"Please." Maggie started but alex cut her off.
"Maggie don't. Don't play his games. Theres no way he-"
"Please. Just let her go." Maggie ignored alex and stared intently into his monstrous eyes. "Shes too good for us. She is so amazing and so brave and kind and courageous and selfless. Please. Just let her go. Do whatever you want to me. Just. Let. Alex. Go."
He twirled a strand of maggies hair between two fingers and pursed his lips as if he was contemplating her words. There was a short pause. "But don't you see?" he asked as if it obvious. "You and alex are a team. I could never separate the two of you. You were made for each other."
Maggie felt his words like a blow to the stomach. "Then let us ALL go." She said through clenched teeth, lifting her head off the pillow to stare at him. This time Maggie didn't flinch away when he reached out with his right hand and stroked the hair away from her face. When he smoothed the hair around her head.
"Don't you touch her." alex voice hissed threateningly.
The man gave alex a disappointed look. Then he stroked maggies cheek gently, wiping away the tear that escaped and trailed its way down. "Please," Maggie whispered.
He ignored her and brushed her cheeks until Maggie rested her head back down, still glaring. Then he dropped his sickening hand to her stomach again. "But that just wouldn't do." He said simply.
"No!" Maggie cried out desperately as he rose and paced back towards alex, still frozen helpless where he had left her. He glanced down at kara still scrabbling and squirming pitously. The sight warmed him almost as much as the sound of maggies sweet voice, begging.
Alex glared death at him and beared her teeth. "You sick fuck!"
"Shhh. Alex. Its okay."
"Oh it is not okay. It is far from okay."
"Shhh." He placed a finger against alex lips before she wrenched her head away. Unperturbed he rested a finger under her chin again and tilted her lips towards his. Alex turned her head away so he placed a gentle kiss on her cheek. His finger pressed insistently on her jaw again, turning her face towards him. Alex exposed the other side of her face to him so he placed a soft kiss on that cheek.
He chuckled. "So shy. You are normally so enthusiastic." Alex felt a sob threaten to choke her at his words. He placed a kiss where her jaw met her throat then moved slowly down her jaw towards her lips. Alex couldn't turn any further away from him. There was no escape.
Before he reached alex lips he stopped. He grabbed her chin in a firm hand and wrapped the other in her hair. He turned her face towards him. He stared into alex eyes and she couldn't turn away. He leaned forward slowly and alex tried to jerk back but he held her head in place. He mashed his lips against hers and she couldn't breathe with him so close.
A muted scream bubbled from her chest.
He leaned back still holding her face in his hand and frowned. "Not going to kiss me back?"
Alex nostrils flared and she spat in his face.
He jerked back slightly. Then slowly wiped the spittle from his face without ever letting go of alex face. He leaned forward casually and whispered into alex ear. "I know what Maggie likes too." Alex breath hitched and it felt like her heart skipped a beat. "I know you told me not to touch her, but…should I go and kiss Maggie instead? Hmm? She is truly beautiful and so brave and so amazing…"
He whispered it so calmly, so serenely but the words seemed to sear into alex. "No." she gasped.
"Are you sure?" he asked almost sweetly. He nipped at alex earlobe. "Because as I said, I know what she likes. I know how much she loves it when you-"
"No!" alex shouted. "No. Don't you touch her." She growled.
He pouted at her. Then tangled both his hands in her hair and rested his forehead against hers. "As long as youre sure. You never know, you might like to watch."
Alex gagged and shuddered and tried to push down the horror she felt. "Kiss me." She commanded instead.
He snapped his head up. "What?"
"Shut up and kiss me."
He smiled. "Now that actually does sound familiar." Alex ignored his jibe and focused on his lips, on kissing him. It felt like his kiss was gutting her, stealing away her soul but alex couldn't let him hurt Maggie. She just couldn't.
"Whoa," he said when he finally broke the kiss. He glanced at Maggie then back to alex. "Maggie is a very lucky woman."
Alex stared at him. Rage filled her eyes and every bit of her burned with it. She struggled so hard to break free of his control that the veins in her neck and forehead stood out. She gasped and felt tears from the strain slide down her face but she continued battling futily, glaring defiant hate into his soul.
He placed a hand on her cheek and watched her fight so valiantly, but so uselessly. He gave her a sad smile. "Its no use alex. Theres no escape."
Just then the chains rattled as Maggie flung herself onto the floor. She had managed to free her hands and now stretched for the net trapping kara. She could just barely reach the edge of it. With a mighty heave Maggie ripped up the edge trapping karas feet. It wasn't enough for kara to escape but it lessened the toxic effects of the kryptonite. Maggie hoped it was enough.
"Kara!" She shouted. "His left wrist. The dial. The dial controlling alex."
He turned away from alex and strode forward. Before he could take more than a step kara cried out, deep from her soul with all the helpless rage and pain and anguish and fear that she felt, and directed a beam of weakened energy at his wrist.
But it was enough. Alex fell limp to the floor instantly. All her muscles felt like jelly as if she had just run a marathon. But it didn't matter, because alex was free. She shot to her feet and lunged for him. His eyes widened and for the first time she saw actual fear in them.
Alex grinned savagely and grabbed him around the shoulders and slammed her head against his. She tightened her hold as he stumbled and jammed a knee up cruelly into his groin. "NO!" she shouted into his ear. She shouted each time she rammed her knee again, and again and again. She brought her leg up to the inside of his leg and kicked sideways, blowing out his knee. "NO!" alex shouted as his legs gave way. She grabbed him on either side of his face, tilted his head back to look into her eyes, then crashed her knee into his face with a feral scream.
He dropped like a stone and lay there unmoving, eyes wide and empty. Alex screamed again. She stood over him with her chest heaving, every muscle taut and her fist clenched so tight her nails cut into her skin. Then she lept on top of him, grabbed his shirt collar and punched him again and again and again. The meaty sound of alex fists slamming into the monsters face filled the room but to Maggie and kara it sounded like heaven.
Finally, Alex screamed again, raw and guttural and heart breaking, expelling every toxic thing she was feeling. Alex drew in several deep breaths and stumbled back to her feet. Then she seemed to come to herself and she hurried to kara and Maggie on the floor.
"Is he dead?" Maggie asked as alex tore the net off her sister and hurled it across the room. Kara sat up with a hiss then nodded to Maggie. Alex examined karas hand but it seemed to already be healing itself.
"His heart stopped. He is not breathing. He is definitely dead." Kara informed them.
"Thank god." Maggie said and reached for alex.
Alex shook her head. "Let me unchain you first."
"Ive got it." kara broke away the chains around maggies ankles and flung them across the room to land on top of the glowing net.
Alex didn't know what to do. A part of her felt like laughing, another like crying hysterically. She wanted to throw herself in kara and maggies arm but at the same time she wanted to hide. She backed away slowly, avoiding their eyes.
Maggie stood and held out her hands. "Hey. Alex." She said soothingly. "Its okay alex."
Alex turned her head away. She couldn't seem to breathe from all the emotions warring in her and the room seemed to be spinning.
Maggie took a small step forward. "Alex. Youre okay now alex." She said softly.
Alex shook her head. "No." she squeaked.
Maggie took another step forward. "Yes alex. Youre okay now. Hes dead. He can never hurt you again."
Alex shook her head again and choked on a sob.
Maggie came forward and rested her hands on alex arms. "Youre okay now alex. He is gone."
Alex still shook her head and tried to back away from Maggie. But Maggie held on and drew alex forward into a hug. Alex resisted weakly but Maggie just held her tighter. She whispered reassuringly to alex and held her close as she rocked her slightly. "Its okay alex. Youre okay now. Youre okay. He is gone. Gone forever."
Finally alex shuddered and clutched at Maggie. Sobs tore from her and her whole body shook. She leaned gratefully into Maggie and kara as kara caught them and slowly lowered them down as alex legs gave out.
They sat huddled together on the floor and sobbed and wept until they couldn't anymore. For quite some time they just clung to each other, unable to move.
It wasn't until alex noticed maggies bloody wrists and mangled left hand with its thumb held at an odd angle that alex snapped them out of their reverie. "Maggie!" alex grabbed for maggies wrists. "Youre hurt."
Maggie grabbed alex hands with her right and held them. "Its nothing.
"Its not nothing! Your wrists are still bleeding and what happened to your hand?" Alex looked urgently at Maggie, scanning her for other injuries.
"Im okay alex. He didn't do anything to me." Maggie swallowed and looked away. "He…He wanted me to watch. But I couldn't take seeing what he was doing to you…"
Alex face softened. She gently turned Maggie back towards her. "Its like you said, im okay." She leaned closer and rested her forehead against maggies. "Im okay now. And so are you and and so is kara."
Maggie swallowed thickly and nodded. She brought a hand up to alex face and felt her eyes water. They smiled at each other then reached for karas hands. The three of them sat together, holding each other until jonn and the DEO arrived.
Jonn took one look around and knew the horror that they had experienced. He made sure they were all safe and had maggies wrists tended and hand splinted. He smiled at Maggie fondly, protectively, lovingly. She put herself through incredible pain and may have lost a lot of skin and broken her thumb, but doing so saved them all. Then he took the body and any evidence the monster was ever there, back with him to the DEO and left them to rest. Questions and reports could wait until later. His girls always came first.
Notes:
Thanks so much for all the comments! Trauma is not something that is talked about much, but it affects so many and it does not simply go away at the end of an episode! (However youre feeling is okay, its okay to get help, its okay to talk about it!) I hope this story was illuminating and helpful? And I also hope that you enjoyed it! Although enjoy is perhaps the wrong word...I hope it made you FEEL things. ;)